What If
by freaky-hanyou
Summary: What if...Zexion was a famous author? Axel was a fireman? Cloud wore leather pants? Reviewers suggest ideas! ALL ONESHOTS (with some lemons!) AkuRoku, Zemyx, Soriku, Cleon, MarVexen! AND Cloud/Sora! AND Xemnas/Saix! AND Kairi/Namine! All One shots Current: What if Zexion and Demyx went to a carnival?
1. Body Switching: AkuRoku

Alright Folks. I thought of this and I think it should be reeeally fun to do, but the trick is that people need to review. This story will be a series of What Ifs in Kingdom Hearts. As of now its AkuRoku BUT if theres suggestion for any Cloud/Leon or Sora/Riku I'm all for it.

So. You peoples review with some what ifs and I write about them! Fun ne? But I thought of the first one for thee.

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own them.

"talking" _thinking_ ((meee))

**What If…**

_…Axel and Roxas switched bodies?_

((for confusions sake, when I mention Roxas, picture Axel. XD))

Roxas groaned as he turned over in his bed. _Goddamned alarm,_ he thought darkly as he rolled over to look at the clock. _Funny, I thought Axel had that clock…must have borrowed it or something. Man did we get wasted yesterday. I didn't think that Vexen was a partier…_

He shivered as he stepped out from the warm sanctuary of the covers. _Woah__! I feel like I grew a few feet…What a hangover! _His head throbbing, he went over to the dresser to pull out some clothes. When he reached out for the drawer, his hands slowed. He examined them closely. _That's different…Wait._ Opening the drawer, he pulled out a cloak for the day. _This should be too big for me…_Putting it on, he was shocked when it fit him perfectly. Slowly, he turned around to face the mirror.

"What…the…fuck?" he stared at the red haired reflection staring back at him. He slowly went up to touch the mirror to confirm that it was indeed, Axel's figure staring back at him.

He screamed, effectively waking up all those near his room.

-------((Oh no!))-------

Axel jolted awake as he heard a deafening scream come from Roxas' room. He leapt up and out of bed before he realized that he was, in fact, in Roxas' room. Looking down, he realized that he was much closer to the ground than normal. _Did I shrink?_ He shook his head and returned to the problem at hand. Where was Roxas? He decided to look in Axel's own room. As Axel walked towards the door, he passed up the mirror. He stopped dead in passing it.

He_ was_ Roxas.

Suddenly, Axel understood why Roxas was screaming and hightailed it for his own bedroom.

------((Panic time!))------

"_What the fuck happened?" _Roxas raged as he paced around Axel's room, which was technically his room, even though it should be, and it was all making Roxas' head spin. Axel tried to calm down himself, and was getting more and more creeped out by the minute.

"Just calm down! Breathe for a second. Try to remember, what is the last thing that happened last night?"

Axel and Roxas both sat down to think, each staring at the other. Axel stuck his tongue out at him as Roxas glared. "Don't make that expression with my face, its not attractive."

"I think it is."

"Oh man do not rape me in my own body, that's wrong on so many levels."

"One problem at a time Roxas. Now the last thing I remember was that we had just finished dancing," Axel began.

"And then we went to sit down and talk to Demyx—"

"And then Vexen got us some drinks and-Wait! _That's it! _The ruddy little bastard slipped something in them! No doubt for one of his idiotic experiments!"

"So let's go make him change us back then!"

"No no not yet." Roxas looked at him incredulously. "Let's make him think it didn't work first. Then we won't have to hear him gloat when we confront him."

"So I have to be _you?"_ Roxas said, sounding as if he tasted something bad.

Axel grinned. "You make it sound so painful. Being you would be easy." Axel turned Roxas' mouth down into a serious frown that matched his normal expression at breakfast so perfectly it was scary. "Goddamnit, Axel, get the hell out of my way."

"Alright alright I get the point. I'll just have to be more…flamboyant…at breakfast. Let's do it."

----((the crazy of the breakfast))----

Vexen almost started skipping on his way down to breakfast. _I finally got my potion right!_ he grinned, cackling to himself. "Now to put those two brats in their places." Sitting down at breakfast, he waited for the impending chaos and pleas to be set to normal. There would be changes in the World That Never Was, oh yes, and Vexen's potions would no longer be used for target practice.

Vexen's smile widened as Number VIII and Number XIII walked into breakfast. He started to smile triumphantly as Number VIII walked towards Number XIII's seat, as if it was a habit. Vexen watched as he stopped before the seat, as if deep in thought. Then without missing a beat, he pulled out the seat for Number XIII.

"My lady," he said as he bowed low, grinning.

Number XIII snorted and sat down, clearly not happy as usual. Vexen observed as he picked at his food, barely eating it. He continued to glower at Number VIII, who continued to grin like a mad man as he inhaled his food.

"And why am I under fire this morning, dear Roxy?" Axel said through a mouthful of pancakes.

Roxas glared. "You're too hyper. It's early dammit!"

Number VIII opened his mouth to retort, but the Superior cut him off. "Number VIII! Number XIII! If you are finished eating, why don't you go prepare for you missions?" he said derisively.

Number VIII and Number XIII got up and quickly left the cafeteria to return to their rooms. Vexen sighed, his good mood gone. _It must not have worked after all,_ he thought sadly as he finished eating. _Back to the drawing board._

-----((meanwhile!))-----

Roxas and Axel walked quickly to Axel's room, entered, and shut the door quickly. Then they burst into hysterical laughter, collapsing on the bed.

"That was brilliant! We totally had him fooled!" Axel said, grinning. "Nice save when you went to the wrong seat. I should try that for you when we're back to normal."

Roxas attempted to look stern, but failed and continued to chuckle. "I didn't know you were capable of being so cranky Axel!"

Axel rolled off the bed, still grinning. "What can I say? I am an amazing actor." He took a bow for his invisible admirers.

"Dear lord, your ego has been inflated even more, if this was possible." Roxas said sarcastically.

"Don't insult me!" Axel said, falling on top of Roxas and knocking the wind out of him.

"Hey you wouldn't want bruises when we change back," Roxas said as he looked down at his own grinning face. "This is so weird…"

"I know," Axel said, "if I was in my own body right now, for instance," he started as he moved closer, "I wouldn't be talking anymore." He moved closer and closer until he could feel Roxas' breath on his lips. He hovered there for a moment before pulling back, frustrated. "Gah! I simply can't do it, it's so wrong."

Roxas agreed, sighing as well. "How about we go attack Vexen in his laboratory so we can change back?"

"Good idea."

-----((doomed Vexen))-----

Axel snickered softly as he and Roxas walked down the steps into the laboratory where Vexen resided. Roxas stayed hidden in the shadows of the stairwell, just as planned. Axel walked out into the light of the laboratory, a serious expression on his face. "Vexen?"

"Yes, Number XIII? I am quite busy, so if you would make it quick," he sneered.

"I'm supposed to show you something," Axel said expressionlessly. Vexen sighed as he stood up and followed Roxas back to the stairs.

"Boo." Roxas said in Axel's AssKicking!voice, making Vexen jump as Axel kicked him in the shin and Roxas lifted him off the ground.

"Change us back," Roxas ground out.

Vexen's startled expression turned sly. "Why Axel, I do not know what—"

"Cut the bullshit," Roxas continued, "before I beat the shit out of you and destroy the laboratory. Who knows what you're working on here? Explosions happen often in a laboratory." Roxas looked at him with a pyromaniac's crazy leer. "So how about it? Where's the antidote?"

Vexen pointed soundlessly to a small bottle on a counter. Axel took it and Roxas dropped Vexen unceremoniously, as they retreated back to Axel's room.

--------((Ta da!))---------

"Man Roxas, you pulled off my evil persona so well, I thought were two of me!" Axel said chuckling.

"Oh quiet, let's just get back to normal." Roxas poured some of the potion into another glass for Axel. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three."

Both of them drank the potion and collapsed to the ground. After a few moments, Axel stirred, groaning. "Did it work?" He looked over at Roxas, who was pulling himself up onto the bed. Axel laughed and tackled Roxas onto the bed.

"It worked!" Axel said triumphantly.

"Obviously."

"Oh shut up," Axel said as he sealed his lips over Roxas'. Roxas' eyes widened before closing completely as he pushed back on Axel, wrapping his arms around his neck. When he ran out of breath, Axel pulled back grinning.

"You have no idea how long I wanted to do that."

"So it only took us switching bodies for you to grow a spine and try it?"

Axel grinned.

-------------

THE END! Alright. Now I cannot write anymore unless you review! Give me those ideas!

R AND R LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou


	2. Serendipity: Zemyx

Omygoodness! Two AMAZING suggestions already! I love it. And I cannot forgive myself for forgetting about Zemyx. ::remedies:: So. That will be written first. Eeee! I'm so happy. No one has been reviewing lately. I keep getting messages saying favorite story and alerts but im like…drop a message? the review windows open..::pout face:: show some love!

Ahem.

Disclaimer: Don't own them my lovelies!

"talking" _thinking_ ((meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!))

**What If…**

_Zexion__ and Demyx were forced to share a bedroom?_

_(as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate)_

The Cloaked Schemer stared in absolute and utter shock at the disaster area that used to be his bedroom. _How did this happen?_ He thought as he rubbed his temples to defend against the oncoming migrane. _Oh…Right…_

----------((flashback of crazy))-------

Zexion sat innocently in the library researching about the Heartless. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a rare find in The World that Never Was. Especially with Number VIII and Number XIII running around, setting things aflame and blaming Vexen's crazy experiments. Zexion sighed as he thought of the two and their antics.

_Well, at least they haven't done anything wrong toda—_

**BOOM.**

Zexion leapt up, startled. That sound definitely did not come from anywhere near the science lab. As a matter of fact, it was more near _his_ bedroom.

--------((end flashback of crazy))-------

When Zexion had arrived in his room, he had found Number VIII and Number XIII arguing in the middle of the debris. Zexion, after none too calmly shoving Number VIII against the wall and asking him what the hell happened, had surmised that Number XIII had hidden from Number VIII in his room. And from events that Zexion didn't even want to _know_ how they transpired, ("It was an accident!" he claimed) Number VIII had went crazy and blown apart his room.

_All of my books and research are gone…_Zexion sighed sadly. Well, as sad as Zexion would sigh, being that he stubbornly refuses to be emotional. _Stupid nonexistent emotion,_ Zexion glared at his watch and stalked out of the room for dinner.

------((To the cafeteria! Hi ho silver, AWAY!))----

Zexion glowered at his food as he ate slowly. Sending occasional glares at Number VIII and XIII, his dark musings on their slow demise were only interrupted by the Superior's voice.

"Number VI."

"Yes, Superior?"

"It has been drawn to my attention that your room is in rather…dire straits," the Superior said slowly, glancing at Number VIII pointedly. "Number IX has volunteered for you to sleep with him tonight," he continued, "you will stay there until your room is repaired."

Zexion started to sputter, but one look from the Superior shut him up. His mind raced. _Demyx__! I have to stay with Number IX? I always thought had a…_thing_ for me, but _this? Zexion continued to panic slightly all throughout dinner.

-------((::hits fast forward button::))-------

Zexion hesitated as he stood outside Number IX's door. _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ he thought. _Here goes…_He knocked on the door slowly. Number IX opened the door, smiling at him.

"Hi Zexion! I mean, Number VI, or-"

"Zexion is fine…Demyx."

Demyx smiled and let him in to his room. "I'm sorry for not asking you personally if you wanted to stay with me," he started.

"It's alright Demyx," Zexion said, smiling slightly. "I do not mind."

Demyx smiled more. "So…what do you want to do?"

"What do you want to do, Demyx? It is your room."

"Well," Demyx thought for a moment. "We could watch a movie?"

"Sure. Which one?" Demyx smiled. "There's only one option of course!"

-----((moving on))-----

Zexion stared at the television as John Cusack went after his love in the movie _Serendipity._ He sighed as he looked over at the unconscious Demyx on his shoulder. He had fallen asleep about an hour ago. Strangely enough, Zexion hadn't really minded. Shifting slightly as snow fell on the couple on the ice rink, he stopped the movie and turned to look at Demyx. _He looks kind of…cute when he's asleep…_ Shaking himself of his thought train, he started to get Demyx to wake up so he would put on his pajamas. "Demyx, hey Demyx! Get up for a minute so you can get your pajamas on!"

Demyx shifted closer to Zexions neck as he muttered groggily, "Don't…wear…pajamas…just boxers…" Demyx shut his eyes again and muttered to himself.

Zexion sighed in exasperation. "So what am I supposed to do? _Strip_ you?"

Zexion was stunned as he heard Demyx mutter a very distinct "Go ahead…" before snuggling into him again.

Zexion stayed in place, frozen as Demyx continued shifting around uncomfortably. _I can't believe I'm doing this…_he thought as he turned Demyx slightly to tug off his shirt. Zexion tried to think in vain of other thoughts as he unbuttoned the Melodious Nocturne's pants. Pulling them off, he tried not to stare at how…_attractive…_the other Nobody was. Stubbornly keeping his thoughts on a pure path, Zexion laid Demyx down on the bed before changing into a pair of loose pajama pants. Fully prepared to sleep on the floor, he moved to swipe a pillow when Demyx loosely grabbed his wrist.

"Stay with me," he muttered.

Zexion could not resist as he laid down beside Demyx and pulled the covers over them. Demyx automatically wrapped his arms around Zexion and snuggled into his chest. Blushing, Zexion wrapped his arms lightly on Demyx's back. After staying frozen in place for a few minutes listening to Demyx's even breaths, Zexion sighed and started to feel drowsy himself. Smiling to himself as he lightly pressed a kiss to Demyx's forehead, he smiled at his last thought before entering slumber.

_I can get used to this._

-------------

::runs around:: WOOO that was fun! And I could not. resist. using Serendipity. Seriously! Fortunate discovery by accident! And I don't remember if its snowing in that scene but I made it so. Possible plot hole? Oh well.

Ok seriously. I put up the chapter, and ffnet totally screwed my formatting. So i took it off cuz i had to go through it by hand. What the business.

You must review my lovelies! Love to all!

freaky-hanyou


	3. The Closet: AkuRoku

Ok seriously. I just spent the better part of an hour TRYING to fix the damned formatting on chapter two. I have no idea what in business is going down. Ive changed the document three times and taken it off and put it back on…but in the preview for the chapter it looks perfectly normal. And yet on my browser it looks nuts! So I apologize deeply if anyone sees it totally screwed up. Could someone tell me what it looks like on their computer?

Ahem. ANYWAY. SO Another suggestion of amazing!

To zestychicken2: Nope it isn't all have to be from the Organization. Leon and Cloud and Sora and Riku can have stories, too. Just need suggestions! Hee!

Disclaimer of Power: Nope.

"talk" _think _((moi)) 'Sign!'

**What If…**

…_Roxas and Axel were locked in a closet?_

_(as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate)_

Roxas continued to glower at a nondescript location in the dimly lit cramped closet. Axel and himself continued to sit there, Roxas stewing in silence in Axel's lap. _How the hell did this happen? Axel, that idiot…_

-------((back in time we go!))------

Roxas sat at his desk writing his daily report for his mission to the Pride Lands when the lightbulb in his bedroom went out. Growling, Roxas got up to search for another lightbulb. _Where the hell does one get light bulbs? Are there broom closets here? _Leaving his room, Roxas scaled the halls for a broom closet. He discovered one right next to Demyx's room. Examining the door, Roxas noticed that there was a small placard on the door. It read:

'This door will automatically locked when closed. It is unable to be opened from the inside.'

Roxas made a mental note and kept the door wide open as he entered the dim closet. Turning on the single musty lightbulb, he noticed a stack of lightbulbs on the top shelf. _Of course, _Roxas said as he found a step ladder. He was making quite a commotion getting to the lightbulbs, and he was surpised that no one had discovered him yet. _It's for the better, _Roxas thought, _at least no one that is stupid enough to shut the door is arou-_

"Hey Roxy! Whatchadoin?"

Roxas inwardly groaned as he turned around on his stepstool to look at Axel. He had mischief glowing in his eyes. _Not good._

"Fine, be boring. I wonder how dark it gets in here?" Axel mused loudly as he began to shut the door.

"Axel _don't!"_ But it was too late. The door shut with a resounding click, and they were locked in. "You idiot! Now we're stuck in here!"

"Oh bullshit, this door never locks."

"There was a sign that said so!"

"Bah," Axel said casually as he moved to open the door, "I didn't see…any…sign…" he slowed as he realized the door was in fact, locked. Turning quickly and grinning up at Roxas, he said "Well, it does get pretty dark in he-gah!"

Axel's sudden movement had caused Roxas to stumble off of his stepstool, and fell right on top of Axel, along with various objects and some light bulbs. Axel lay plastered to the floor, Roxas with his arms beside his head to keep himself from fully planting into him.

"It's so cramped in here," Roxas said, blushing slightly.

"Yep. Let's get comfortable then." Axel shifted so Roxas was in his lap, and he leaned back against the wall.

-----((at this point, we are back where we were before))----

"Hey," Axel said, nudging the pouting Roxas in the shoulder, "Wanna play a game?"

Roxas sighed. "Oh why not."

"Alright I'm thinking of a number between one and a million."

"Axel."

"Guess!"

"Grr. 548."

"Lowerr!"

"300."

"Lower."

"150."

"Freakin lower," Axel said, smirking.

Roxas glared. "50."

"_Lower."_

"2."

"Higher!"

"Ok Axel seriously, this is stupid." Roxas moved to get out of Axel's lap, when Axel made a noise of protest and wrapped his arms tightly around Roxas' waist.

"The number was 13," Axel whispered into Roxas' ear, "How can you not guess your own number?"

"Should have just said up to 25 then," Roxas said, pinking slightly.

"That's no fun!" Axel exclaimed. "New game! Let's play Dare or…_Dare!"_

"What the hell Axel," Roxas said incredulously, "Don't you mean _Truth_ or Dare?"

"Blah, truth is no fun. Wanna play?"

"_Fine."_

Axel settled his chin in Roxas' hair. "Alright Roxas! Dare or.._dare?"_

Roxas shifted a bit, pinking again at Axel's new location. "Hmmm. I think I'll have to go with dare."

"Kiss me."

"What now?"

"I dare you," Axel whispered, tilting Roxas' chin upward to look into his eyes, "to kiss me," he moved closer until Roxas could feel his breath upon his lips.

Roxas hesitated for a second before replying, "Oh why not," and sealed his lips over Axels. Axel was stunned by the intensity in his kiss as Roxas quickly took control. Pushing Axel to the ground, Roxas lay over him as he continued to kiss Axel passionately. Axel saw stars behind his eyelids as he felt Roxas' tongue slide into his mouth, playing with his own. Axel had to pull back for breath, and he looked at Roxas, nonplussed.

"Well, you told me to kiss you," Roxas said, looking away and turning red again.

"Fuck the game," Axel whispered as he pulled Roxas to him again, "let's do this instead."

Axel pulled Roxas to him yet again and they continued to kiss. Roxas trailed a long line of kisses down Axels jaw and he groaned loudly. As Roxas was just about to reach his shirtline, the door opened and they heard a confused "What in hell?"

Both looked up red-faced at Demyx, who was staring down at them, as red-faced as they were. "Sorry! I heard some…noises and I figured someone got themselves locked in here again and…sorry!" Demyx said as he fled back to his room.

Roxas chuckled to himself as he looked down at Axel. "So he'll hear us making out, but he won't hear a deafening crash of me falling from a footstool?"

Axel grinned. "No matter. Shall we continue?"

"Let's go to your room first. Your bed is much more comfortable." Axel then took Roxas by the hand and led him across the hall to his room where there would be no interruption.

-------

::frolics around:: This is fun! I haven't written this much in _years!_ Oh goodness.

Well I think I fixed chapter two.

READ AND REVIEW MY LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou


	4. Snow: AkuRoku

Ok my lovelies. First I want to thank ALL of you lovely reviewers out there who wrote me something. Made me happy. BUT I know for a fact because I frequently check my hit count, that many more folks have looked at this. Drop me a line! It would make my day. AND ye who wish me to update, you need to leave me a suggestion or I am unable to do such! BUT I have two. as of this moment. so all is well.

AND Inspire-Illuminate owes me nothing whatsoever because without whom there would be no chapters to this story yet. XD

So anyway. Enough of talking.

"talking" _thinking_ ((yours truly))

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas had a snowball fight?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate))_

Roxas laughed happily as he fell into a huge drift of snow in the outskirts of Christmas Town. _I love snow,_ Roxas thought as he made a snow angel by flapping his arms and legs, still chuckling.

"What are you doing, you crazy?" Axel said grumpily. _I hate the snow. It has nothing to do with fire. Plus,_ he added sourly, _it pretty much hurts to touch it._ He sent a general glare in Roxas' direction.

Roxas sat up, returning the glare light-hearted. "Oh stop pouting. Just because you don't enjoy the snow doesn't mean that I don't get to!" He grinned mischievously and turned his back on Axel.

Axel, nonplussed, looked curiously in Roxas' direction. Whenever he got close to whatever Roxas was doing, Roxas would hunch over further, hindering his view. Axel sighed, and was about to give up when-

**WHAM.**

He was pelted in the face with a snowball.

Axel let out a string of expletives that would make a sailor proud.

"God_dammit_ Roxas, what in fuck were you thinking!" Roxas flinched at Axel's unusually harsh tone. "I control _fire._ Do you think I would enjoy _snowballs_, which are water based, being thrown in my face?"

Roxas looked hurt and muttered a small apology. Axel, sighing, made to move towards town to eliminate some Heartless, when he stopped and got an idea. Then, he unceremoniously disappeared through a portal back to the World that Never Was.

Roxas sighed as Axel left through the portal. _Great,_ he thought, _now he's probably going to go pout in his room until I come back and apologize in some scandalous way to fit his perverted desires…_ Roxas continued to think in his romance-novel thought line until two minutes later, Axel returned with a bag of puffy objects.

"ONE SECOND!" Axel said triumphantly, and turned his back on Roxas. Five minutes later, he turned around. Roxas fell back in the snow laughing.

Axel had emptied the bag, which was filled with winter wear for playing outside. He currently wore 8 pairs of gloves, which made his hands obscenely out of proportion, 3 scarves, and a ski mask with a hole cut into the top to let his hair stick out.

Axel looked at Roxas, confused. "…What? I want to play in the snow?"

"You…look…_ridiculous!"_ Roxas ground out, still laughing.

"Fine, I'll just go over here and make a little Snow-Roxas who won't laugh at me…"Axel muttered as he went over to a different snow drift. A few minutes later, Roxas finally contained his laughter and went to look over at the "Snow-Roxas" that Axel was attempting to make.

As he neared the snowthing, Roxas realized that it did indeed look a lot like him. He frowned as he got closer. "Axel, what-_Axel you can't make a snowman positioned like that!"_ Launching a battle cry, Roxas tackled Axel into the perverse Snow-Roxas. Axel let out a small 'oof' as he hit the ground.

"Hey, that isn't proper snow etiquette!" Axel complained as he shoved Roxas off. Roxas looked surprised, until Axel dove army style behind a snow drift. "SNOWBALL FIGHT!"

Grinning, Roxas dove behind a snowdrift across from the one Axel was behind. After steadily making snowballs for a few minutes, Roxas began to hear grunts of frustration coming from behind Axel's fort. "What the hell Axel?" Roxas asked questioningly.

"Damn…gloves…cant bend my fingers well enough to form snowball…." Axel muttered, deep in concentration.

Roxas tried. He really did. But after walking over to Axel's fort and seeing him try in vain to make a fist around the snow, he lost it. After regaining his composure after Axel threatened to set Roxas' fort on fire, Roxas sat down and made him a small pile of snowballs. "There. Don't waste them." Roxas said.

"Oh, I won't," Axel said, picking one up and chucking in Roxas' face. "That was for earlier." Glaring, Roxas made for his own fort before he was barraged with snowballs.

A vicious snow-fight soon ensued. Axel quickly ran out of ammunition, and a battle geared Roxas (who was pelted in the face with a snowball) wouldn't make him anymore. Axel looked around frantically for some ideas, until he gritted his teeth and took off all the gloves on one hand. Upon beginning to make a snowball, he made an amazing discovery. Although he inadvertently melted the snowballs, for a few seconds, if he concentrated his energy properly, they were set on fire. Axel grinned devilishly and made a snowball one handed.

"Take this Roxy!" Axel sent a flaming snowball at his fort that put a gaping hole in it. Roxas gaped at the offending hole and went to patch it up.

"Axel that's _chea-"_ Roxas was cut off as a barrage of flaming snowballs was sent at him. Roxas stood frozen as his entire fort was melted.

Axel grinned as he stood up triumphantly. "I win, I win!" He did a little dance of happiness. Roxas glared at him.

"You cheated."

"The best way to win!" he continued dancing.

Roxas grew more and more irked until he cried out in anger and tackled Axel to the ground, pulling off his ski mask. "You do realize," he ground out, "that you are surrounded by your weakness, and just pissed off someone impervious to snow's effects?" Roxas picked up a huge pile of snow and held it over Axel's head, looking at him threateningly.

Axel's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

Roxas didn't reply, but lowered the snow quickly, as if to drop it. Axel flinched. Roxas started laughing and threw the huge snowpile away. "I'm kidding you idiot! How would I benefit from giving you a concussion?"

Axel grinned. "You'd miss me too much," he winked at him. Roxas glared.

"Of _course, _Axel," he said sarcastically, "I would just _die_ without you. And the lovechild that I am secretly pregnant with from our impassioned tryst would be a _bastard_ because I had to go and dump _snow_ one your head…"

Axel burst out in laughter. "You have been reading too many romance novels, Roxy."

"I know." he said, grinning.

Axel smirked. "You know, he said, pulling the Roxas who was still on top of him closer, "you would be better than any Snow-Roxas I could make…"

Roxas turned pink and dipped lower to kiss Axel quickly. He meant to pull away, but Axel growled and pulled him closer. However, this action dug them deeper into the snow and Axel had to break away soon, to stand up and get out of the weakening element.

Panting, Axel grinned at Roxas. "Come on! Let's finish this mission so we can go to _my_ element."

Roxas looked at him incredulously. "I am not going to a furnace or whatever you are thinking, crazy."

Axel made the 'tsk-tsk' noise, shaking his head. "Dear Roxy, I mean my bedroom!" he said, chuckling as he started to run towards Christmas Town.

---------

Oh man. Dirty Snow Roxas. XP

You know they don't all have to be Axel and Roxas if you would like to read something else! Cleon and Zemyx and Soriku are fine! Anything you'd like!

LOVE TO THE READERS!

freaky-hanyou


	5. Filet Mignon: AkuRoku

Eeee. I basically said my peace in the chapter I wrote five seconds ago, so basically I'll let you off the hoook with a niiiice short authors note here. XP

"talk" _think_ ((MEE))

((recipe got from Je ne possède pas des coeurs de royaume. ::copied from a translation site:: XP

Oh yeah important point. From wiki: (Note that, in France, though beef "**filet mignon**" exists, the word doesn't usually refer to beef, but instead to a tender and expensive cut of pork). HERE I am using it as beef. And I am aware of it. Hee! Continuing on.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas had to cook a fancy and complicated _

_recipe when neither can cook to save their lives?_

_((as suggested by the lovely TheMadHathor))_

"Axel you _idiot!"_ Roxas yelled as he hit Axel over the heat with a saucepan, "you just _had_ to convince me that it was a life or death situation which inadvertently led us to _dyeing _the _Superior's underwear_ _**magenta?!"**_

Axel backed away slowly in the state of the art kitchen as Roxas' rage steamed onward.

"And _now,_ we have to cook him this _amazing_ dinner or he'll turn us into DUSKS!"

"It can't be that hard…" Axel said calmly.

"We're doomed!" Roxas continued ranting as if Axel had never spoken, muttering about idiots and magenta undies.

"Au contraire, me cherie," Axel said in a surprisingly sexy French accent, as he held up _French food for Dummies_. "You just have to read me the directions, and I'll cook!" He grinned as he put on his 'Kiss the Cook' apron, which had cook crossed out and Flurry of Dancing Flames written over in red sharpie.

"_You cook?"_ Roxas stated incredulously. "Not only would you burn the filet mignon, you'd burn down the entire kitchen!" He thought further. "And I am _not_ a girl!"

Axel gave him the 'How-can-you-not-want-a-piece-of-this' puppy dog pout.

Roxas sighed. "Give me the book." Axel squeed happily and handed it over. "Alright. It's a three part recipe, so I guess we should start with the beef first…"

"That's right, Roxas, always loving the meat…" he winked and Roxas groaned. _I cannot believe I have to endure this. _

"Heat a small pan over medium heat."

Axel held a little pan over his hand and snapped his fingers, starting a medium sized flame. Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel. Use the stove."

Axel sighed. "_Fine."_

"Add the oil and gently sauté the onions until translucent. Add the cooked baby artichokes, olives, tomatoes, and oregano. Sauté briefly until heated thoroughly. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Set aside."

Axel nodded and Roxas found it hard to believe that he actually digested all of that information. Surprisingly, Axel did everything exactly as he asked without setting anything on fire. _Maybe this won't be too bad after all…_ Roxas thought. "Now for the polenta."

"Polenta? What the hell is that? Some kind of disease?"

Roxas sighed. _Never mind. _"It's a corn meal type thing. Ready?" Axel nodded. "Mix 1 cup of water with corn meal. Allow to stand 20 minutes." Axel laughed as he did so.

"So what are we going to sit here for twenty minutes?"

Roxas sighed. "I guess we can grill the beef…"

Axel grinned. _Grilling. Yesyes. Lots of flames._ "Let's do it!" Axel fired up the small George Foreman next to the stove. Looking at it, he noticed it did not spout fire as he imagined. Pouting, he turned to Roxas. _Maybe…_

As if reading the pyro's mind, Roxas said. _"No,_ Axel, you will use the grill and not your hand." Axel looked scandalized and turned to get the meat, dejected.

"Brush the meat with oil and season both sides with salt and pepper. Grill the meat quickly for 2 to 3 minutes per side for rare to medium rare." Roxas watched, kind of bored as Axel expertly put a slab on the grill.

Axel looked down at the grill, sighing. Looking up, he noticed the convenient window placed in front of him for his viewing enjoyment. He watched as the Dusks ran around outside, shifting about. Spacing out, Axel vaguely registered a burning smell and Roxas shouting.

"Fuck!" Axel yelled. "What do I do?" Thinking quickly, Axel poured water all over the George Foreman grill, effectively destroying it.

Roxas looked at him blankly. "You did that on purpose."

Axel looked guilty and scratched the back of his neck. "Actually, I didn't." He brightened. "OH WELL! No _I'll have_ to do it!"

Axel cackled as he torched multiple steaks in half the time it should have taken.

Roxas stared, a bit in shock. "…Okay then." Roxas looked over the rather complicated recipe for the Rosemary sauce. "Well…it says the sauce should have the weight of maple syrup…"

"Say no more!" Axel said and dug into the shelves until he found the barbeque sauce. "There. Sauce. Next!"

Roxas sighed, but decided not to argue. "I guess its been twenty minutes then…" Axel went over to the corn meal mush. "Combine the remainder of the water with the corn meal in a heavy bottomed pot. Stir with a wooden spoon for 20 minutes over low heat."

Axel groaned. "You've got to be kidding."

-----------((25 minutes later))---------

"Can…I…stop…stirring…now?" Axel said, about to fall over by the pot.

Roxas looked up from his romance novel and nodded. "Oh yeah yeah its fine." He looked at his watch. "Actually you could have stopped five minutes ago."

Axel glared. "_Now what."_

Roxas, unaffected, continued. "Add the Parmesan cheese and salt and pepper to taste. Spread evenly, 1/2 inch thick, in a baking dish. Allow to cool. The consistency should be dense and very firm with no lumps. Refrigerate. When cold cut into 3 inch squares. Set aside until final assembly."

After the food cooled, Axel looked at it. "It's kinda soupy…"

Roxas sighed. "Stick it in the freezer then."

"Kay!"

"Alright now we just have the final assembly. Just after grilling the beef, place the polenta squares on the grill and brown on both sides. Allow the beef to rest while reheating the vegetables."

Axel squealed happily as he pulled out the frozen polenta and cut it quickly, about to torch it.

"Don't set them on fire Axel!"

Axel regeretfully browned the yellow things and put them with the meat on the plates. After reheating the vegetables, he placed them on plates as well, covering them all with barbeque sauce. Together, they admired their handiwork.

"You know," Roxas commented, "it actually doesn't look _that_ bad…"

Axel huffed. "Of course not! I am an excellent cook!"

Roxas looked over at him. "You've never cooked before, have you?"

"Never."

"Of course not, " Roxas sighed. "Wait. Why do you have that apron then?"

Axel grinned slyly. "To wear for you of course." Axel pulled Roxas to him, embracing him. "How about we experiment with the desserts in here au naturel?"

Roxas blushed as Axel moved to kiss him. The kiss quickly became heated, and Roxas pushed back against Axel, groaning. However, Axel had not expected this, and lost his balance, falling onto the table where all the dinners were placed. A resounding crash ensued as their home made filet mignon scattered about on the floor.

Roxas twitched as he stood, glaring. "Axel…"

Axel, however, was unaffected. "Bah, we'll just go to Twilight Town and order some."

Roxas facepalmed. "_Why_ didn't you say that in the first place?"

Axel smiled. "Because I have had that 'au naturel' line planned ever since I heard we were cooking French food."

-------

OH man. That was fun. Anyone who catches the reference to Snow will get a cookie.

REVIEW MY LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou


	6. Road Trip: AkuRoku

WHEEEEEEEE!

This is fun.

"talk" _think_ ((moi))

Disclaimer:__ NIET my lovelies.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas went on a road trip_

_but got hopelessly lost in the middle of nowhere?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Aranel71390))_

Roxas stared at the open road as he drove them back to their home in Massachusetts in his electric blue Beatle. Well, he _tried_ to get them home. The idiot sitting next to him reading him directions was not helping.

In the slightest.

Acting more like a four year old, really.

"Axel." Roxas ground out, changing lanes on the turnpike, "_you_ are the one who suggested it would be more cost efficient to drive to Disney World, so fucking _help_ me get us home!"

Axel looked down at his map, trying to concentrate. "Get off at this exit."

"But we aren't even in the right state yet."

"I know, but I have to pee." Roxas growled and looked over at Axel. "You have to wait a couple miles until the next rest stop you little toddler.

Axel pouted. He continued to glance at the map, bored. "Wait a minute…" he muttered to himself. "Oh shit…"

Roxas looked over at Axel. "What…?"

"I've been holding the map sideways."

-------((le gasp!))------

"And how exactly do we get to Massachusetts from Kentucky, sir?" Roxas asked trying not to scream in rage as he questioned the gas station attendant for proper directions.

Axel was snickering behind him. "How could you not notice that the state lines passing by weren't in between Florida and Massachusetts?"

"_Shut up." _ Roxas glared at him, continuing to write down instructions.

As they left the gas station, Roxas considered his options. _If I let Axel read me these directions, I know we'll end up in Disney Land and we wouldn't even notice. I don't have any choice…_

"Axel. I do not want to get lost again, so…Youcandrive."

Axel squealed and frolicked to the driver's side of the car. Roxas facepalmed. _I am totally screwed._

------((Axel Speedway time!))-----

Roxas clenched the armrest until his knuckles turned white as Axel flew down the turnpike, back towards their hometown. He wasn't a bad driver really. Just extremely fast. Roxas tried not to look over at Axel, who looked like he was having the time of his life playing the 'Cut Off All the Mini-Vans' game.

_I have to focus on something else, _Roxas thought. _He's going to crash my car…_ Roxas worriedly looked over at Axel, who was now looking out the side window, making faces at other cars. _No! Focus._ He pulled out his romance novel to console himself. Just as he was getting into the book and forgetting the perils that his car and his person were in, Axel swerved violently into the right lane.

"_Ohmigosh! McDonalds!"_ Roxas groaned.

-------((Eeee))-------

Four happy meals later, Axel being the partaker of all of them, he skipped merrily back to the car. Roxas hesitantly followed, pulling out his romance novel again. After being on the highway for a while, Axel grinned devilishly.

"Hey Roxas."

"What."

"PUNCH BUGGY ELECTRIC BLUE NO RETURNS!" he yelled as he punched Roxas in the side.

"Dammit Axel, you've done that at least forty times since we left."

Axel grinned. "Seriously now, wanna play a car game?"

"Fine."

"Ok it is kind of an A B C game. I say 'I'm coming home from Disney World and I packed…' and then I say something that started with the letter A. Then you just keep listing all of them! Fun right?"

"Excitingly so." Roxas said, dripping with sarcasm.

Axel cleared his throat and began. "I'm coming home from Disney World and I packed…" he thought for a moment and grinned. "Roxas' sexy little ass."

Roxas turned red and spluttered. "That doesn't start with A!"

"It does too."

"FINE. I'm coming home from Disney World and I packed my ass-:"

"Your sexy little ass." Axel cut in.

Roxas glared. "…and a banana." He regretted it the moment he said it. _So much for innocence. _

"Roxas you devil!"

"Axel this game is stupid-"

"WE'RE HOME!"

"What the _hell?"_

They were indeed home. Roxas stepped out of the car, stunned, as Axel came over to him.

"Axel… we were in Kentucky like, three hours ago. How did this happen?"

Axel grinned mysteriously. "You were reading that book for more than three hours. Way to pay attention."

"But still-!"

"Roxas." Axel said seriously, "Learn this, and learn it quickly. I do not apply to the laws of science. Got it memorized?" Axel then gave him a kiss and skipped into the house.

--------

Ok story writing machine I am.

NO more no more! XP

But please for the love of all kinds of cheese drop me a review my lovelies.

freaky-hanyou


	7. The Hamster: Soriku

I had a thought. I know rare occurrence, lol. but um. Am I updating too fast? Because I know this week when school kicks up I wont be able to keep pace like I am now. but am I just overloading a bit?

So anyway.

Drop a line, ne?

"talk" _think_ ((meee))

Disclaimer: no. XP

**What If…**

_Sora accidentally killed his hamster and _

_Riku promised to buy him a new one?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Mizutamari))_

Sora groaned as Riku pushing him up against the wall, his hand up his shirt. _I forgot how this happened,_ he thought, as Riku made to shift him so he could wrap his legs around his waist. As Sora remembered something vague about a tickle fight, he lost his train of thought as he kicked up his legs to hug them to Riku's hips, but stopped abruptly when he heard a 'plunk' and a 'whoosh!' Registering them vaguely as Riku waged war on his body with his roaming hands, Sora finally realized what the noise was.

He fidgeted out of Riku's grasp. Riku looked startled as he put down the fidgeting boy. "Sora, wha-?"

"Omigosh! _Tickles!"_

"Your hamster? Isn't he in the little b—"

"_Yes, that's why I think I kicked him out the window!"_ Sora said as he looked out the window, panicking.

"Sora…" Riku said slowly, joining Sora at the window and wrapping a comforting arm around his waist, "we're on the second story. There is no way that Tickles—"

"There he is!" Sora smiled triumphantly as he looked out the window! "He's in the—"

"Oh no." Riku said aloud as he covered Sora's eyes when the SUV approached the hot pink hamster ball in the middle of the street.

-------((im very evil to the poor hamster XP))---------

Riku sighed slightly as he rocked Sora back and forth on the bed. He had been crying nonstop for the past hour, partly because Riku refused to let Sora pick up the remains of the roadkill hamster.

"It's your fault that he died," Sora said sourly.

"You kicked him," Riku replied.

"You kissed me!"

"You tickled me."

"And so how does that lead to kissing?"

"It's a natural reaction," Riku replied, hugging Sora closer. "Listen. How about I buy you a new hamster?"

"But-"

"It'll make you feel better." Sora looked undecided. "And I'll buy you some McDonalds."

Sora smiled. "Deal."

-------((a happy meal and a trip to the pet store later))----

Sora held on to his hamster in his yellow ball tightly as he went up to his room with Riku. Setting him carefully down on the floor, he started "I think I know what to name him."

"What?" Riku said as he absently watched the hamster run into the wall multiple times.

"Tickles the II," Sora stated as he pulled the hamster away from the wall, only to watch him run into the desk repeatedly.

Riku sighed as he put the hamster on top of the dresser, where it proceeded to run into the pile of books. "Sora, you can't name your hamster—what the hell is wrong with it? It won't stop running into things!"

Sora had an epiphany. "_That's_ what I'll name him!"

Riku looked confused. "…what the hell is wrong with it? It's a bit wordy…"

Sora smiled. "Nooo. I'll name him Banger!"

A rush of emotions hit Riku at once. First was confusion. Then, he wondered if Sora was trying to hit on him somehow. Shaking his head, Riku had to strain to keep his laughter in. "Why…?" Short answers were good in this situation.

"Because he keeps running into things!"

"You do realize that a banger is a British sausage right…?"

This did not seem to affect Sora in the slightest. "So? It's perfect! His name is Banger, and Banger he shall be!"

Riku could not hold in his laughter any longer, and he fell onto the bed, clutching his sides. Sora looked crestfallen.

"You don't like it?"

Riku shook his head. "It's…fine Sora, it's just…don't you think that names a bit…_dirty?"_

Sora thought for a minute. "Why would it be?"

Riku's laughter slowed. _I can't believe I have to explain this…_ "Alright Sora, I think you need a lesson in innuendo."

Sora looked confused. "How is Banger perverted?"

"On many many levels Sora. For one, Banger is a British _sausage…_got it yet?"

Sora thought for a minute. "Nope!"

Riku tried to be unfazed. "When you think sausage, what comes to mind?"

"Breakfast!"

Riku twitched. _Leave it to Sora…_ "Come on Sora, think."

"…Bob Evans?"

"_PENIS! Sora, a fucking PENIS!"_

Sora was shocked at Riku's outburst. _"Ohhhhh. _What else!"

"Well," Riku said, regaining his composure, "there's the whole issue about banging…"

"Hamster's don't bang eachother, silly! Naming a hamster after sex isn't that bad!"

Riku looked shocked. "How do you know about _banging_ but not _bangers_ Sora."

Sora stuck out his tongue. "Roxas. Axel and Roxas can have some _wiiild_ nights, and its not pleasant staying in the room next door."

Riku chuckled, "you poor thing." He smirked. "Would you like to give Roxas an ear-full one night?"

Sora smirked in return. "Maybe."

------------

Poor Riku. But seriously. Leave me some love and suggestions my darlings!

R AND R NO LONGER MEANS REST AND RELAXATION!

::hugs lovelies::

freaky-hanyou


	8. Alone in the Castle: Zemyx

Oh my. I'm a bit hyper at the moment, and I am in love with all of my reviewers! You make me happy, fer serious. and omygoodness I have a backorder of ideas now. (3including this) XD I love you people. I knew I should have wrote more than one yesterday.

XD SO anyway it's a Zemyx today. EEEE. Another reason im kinda hyper is yesterday when I was JUST about to go to bed, Carmine Complex (amazing. story. ::pimps:: hilarious.) by The BirdFox Hybrid Productions updated yesterday with a _massive_ chapter, and it pretty much made my life. So. Anyone who's bored give it a looking. eee!

SO enough rambles.

Disclaimer: Ahem. I, Kagome, do not own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, with the exception of the games and assorted merchandise. And maybe ive stolen Axel once or twice…::innocence::

"talk" _think _((mee))

**What If…**

_Demyx and Zexion were the only ones in the castle?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate))_

Zexion sighed happily as he worked on his research project in the quiet peace of the library at the castle. _Finally,_ he thought as he curled further into the book he was poring over, _everyone is gone. Even Vexen and Lexaeus have left, I cannot believe the Superior had gotten everyone out of the castle…_

For once, Zexion was actually thankful to the Superior. Zexion had been turning in pitiful work for research projects lately, and when he inquired what the problem was, Zexion had replied that he had been distracted.

Of course, the Superior thought he had been distracted by someone such as Number VIII or Number XIII, so just to be safe he sent everyone, including himself, out of the castle, in order that Zexion had in the best research project he had ever written. And, true to that, Zexion was just finishing up his best work.

However, the distraction that had been keeping him from working was not Number VIII or Number XIII as the Superior had thought. _It's that damnedly delectable Number IX…_Zexion thought, about to lose himself in his thoughts of the intriguing blonde. Try as he might, Zexion could not get him out of his thoughts. "This is stupid," he muttered as he finished the conclusion of his report, "There is no reason at all for me to be fascinated by him. Not one. I shouldn't even have the ability to_ be_ 'fascinated'," Zexion muttered darkly. Gathering his books, he picked up his finished report and set off in the direction of his bedroom.

-------((to the bedroom!))------

After sending the report directly to the Superior's desk through the mailing system in the castle, Zexion put the rest of his books in a neat pile on his desk. Suddenly, a familiar sent reached his nose. _Oh no…What is he doing back?_ Zexion looked at the door, panicked. _He's supposed to be on a lengthy mission! Leave it to Number IX…_ Sighing, Zexion set off towards Number IX's room to berate him on not fulfilling his mission properly.

Arriving at Number IX's room, Zexion hesitated before he knocked. _This is stupid,_ he thought as Number IX, opened the door.

"Number IX," he greeted stoically.

"Zexion!" Demyx, said, surprised. He never was one to respect his superiors. "I thought everyone else was out on missions!"

"I just finished mine," Zexion said dryly, "shouldn't you be on yours, Number IX?"

"Zexion. We've been over this. Call me Demyx!" he said triumphantly, but glancing at Zexion's still-stoic expression, he sobered. "My mission was to clean all of the Heartless out of Wonderland. I scoured every inch of it, and I couldn't find more than a few! So I came back early!" he said, grinning.

Zexion could see no way to argue that point, so he nodded and turned to leave him

"Wait!" Demyx said, and Zexion turned from his spot in the hallway.

"I'm…kind of bored, actually," Demyx said sheepishly. "Would you stay with me while everyone else is gone? We could play a game!"

Zexion looked indecisive. _I should not have to indulge him upon his silly ideas…_Zexion thought. _However, maybe if I stay in his company I can decipher why I am so…fascinated with his presence…_

"Fine…Demyx, what do you want to do?"

Demyx beamed. "I have the perfect idea! Let's play hide and seek!"

Zexion stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"Why not! We do have the castle all to ourselves, you know," Demyx said, "you hide first!" Demyx turned around and started to count.

Zexion sighed, shaking his head. _I can't believe I am doing this, _he thought darkly. Then a devious idea came to mind. _Perhaps this will be interesting after all…_

Zexion sent three duplicates of himself off in different directions, and walked towards the Superior's quarters.

--------((dun dun DUN))---------

"98…99…100! Ready or not, here I come!" Demyx yelled triumphantly.

"I have been ready for quite a while now, Demyx."

Demyx saw Zexion in front of him, and looked crestfallen. "Idiot, you were supposed to hide!"

"I did. I am but a copy, sent here to tell you that I am not hidden in this part of the castle. Searching the entire castle would take too long and you would lose patience…"

Demyx nodded in understanding. "Which direction?"

The Zexion copy looked at him blankly. "I cannot give you that information."

Demyx sighed and marched off in a random direction.

----------((time elapse here))------

After running in to two more of Zexion's copies, Demyx surmised that Zexion would be in the area of the Superior's quarters. _So much for taking a short amount of time…_Demyx panted as he leaned against the wall, closing the gap (hopefully) on himself and Zexion.

Suddenly, a sharp voice rang out in the hallway.

"Number IX! What are you doing in this part of the castle?!"

Demyx turned around, surprised. "Superior! I'm sorry, I was just looking for Zexion…" he trailed off, looking anywhere but at the Superior.

"Number IX, you have no business looking for Number VI because his mission has nothing to do with yours," he berated harshly. "Furthermore," Demyx flinched as the Superior looked at him harshly.

"You really suck at seeking." Demyx looked up, surprised, as the Superior's form melted away to reveal Zexion.

Demyx visibly relaxed, grinning at Zexion. "You so cheated."\

Zexion smiled slightly. "It made it more interesting. Now isn't it your turn to hide?"

Demyx thought for a moment. "I am really sick of Hide and Seek now thanks to your little copies." Zexion chuckled. Then Demyx had an idea. He looked over at Zexion, smiling. "Zexion! Wait a few minutes and meet me at my practice room okay?"

Zexion sighed as Demyx ran off towards his practice room, suited to his element. _I can only imagine what he has thought of…_Zexion mused as he went off towards the cafeteria to grab a snack on the way to join Demyx.

----------((foreboding music plays))------

Zexion grew more and more wary as he approached Demyx's practice room. He could only hear the sounds of water sloshing as he neared the door. "Demyx…?" he inquired quietly as he neared the door. He pulled it open, hearing Demyx's cry of "Zexion _no!"_ a nanosecond too late.

"Oh _hell,"_ Zexion swore as a wall of water washed him down the hallway and into the wall at the end. Demyx immediately called off his element and dashed over to where Zexion lay.

"Zexion? _Zexion?_ You weren't supposed to open the door yet! We were supposed to go surfing! _Zexion!"_ Demyx said as he shook him. Demyx tried to think. _There's something that people use to resuscitate others_, Demyx thought, _It must work on Nobodies too._ Demyx hesitated, as he looked down at Zexion's still form. "He's going to kill me…"

Demyx steeled himself, pinched Zexion's nose, and put his lips over his. He breathed into him a few times and let go. When nothing happened, Demyx did it again. This time, Zexion coughed and sputtered a bit. Demyx pulled away from him, relieved.

The relief only lasted a few seconds, however. "Demyx you _idiot!_ You _know_ that I can't swim, let alone survive being pummeled by a few tons of _water—"_

Zexion was cut off by Demyx's lips being crushed to his in relief and desperation. Stunned, Zexion was frozen in shock as Demyx wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His eyes sliding shut, Zexion gave in and responded to Demyx's advances. Demyx groaned as Zexion pushed back against him, his arms circling Demyx's waist, stroking up and down his back. Demyx's hand fisted in Zexion's hair as he pulled back a fraction to take a breath.

"I'm sorry," Demyx muttered breathlessly, looking away. Zexion didn't hear him however, as he was overrun with thoughts.

_That's the reason for this…fascination,_ Zexion thought quickly,_ Demyx is so…Demyx…its hard to understand, but…_he grinned at Demyx as he pulled him into his lap, embracing him.

"You're a hard one not to like, Demyx." Demyx smiled up at him and leaned up for another kiss.

-----------

::squeals:: kay I tried, I tried. I haven't read that many Zemyx stories, and the ones I have are completely and utterly AU, so…bear with me. BUT I LOVED WRITING IT! XD

So. R and R cannot exist without the second R lovelies! XP LOVE TO ALL! (and school sucks!)

freaky-hanyou


	9. The Festival: AkuRoku

Oh my. I love. Every single one of my reviewers. TO DEATH. XP ::hug attacks:: every suggestion and comment makes my life. Seriously. AND let it be known that every suggestion, through PM or review, will be done. I'm just going down the list from the order they come in.

So…basically this story will go on forever, but THAT'S OKAY.

So the love is appreciated very much by those who send it. Those who DON'T need a lesson in caring. xP

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Disclaimer: Dude I don't even own this story idea. What makes you think I own anything else.

"talkage" _thinkage _((mee-age))

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas are instructed to set up the fireworks _

_for the Twilight Town Midsummer Festival?_

_(as suggested by the lovely xFluffyFangx)_

Axel and Roxas sighed collectively as they endured their "mission" in Twilight Town. Heartless control in Twilight Town was not needed, and Axel and Roxas were only assigned here as punishment for their usual pranks and schemes that occur in the castle. Not that either minded, really. It was just an excuse to sit around and do nothing but eat Sea Salt flavored ice cream.

Today however, the ice cream stand was closed due to preparations for some "festival" thing, which left Axel and Roxas with nothing to do but watch the busy townsfolk run around.

"I'm bored," Axel said, blowing a flyaway hair out of his face.

"Me too," Roxas sighed, continuing his sport of people watching. "I wonder what's going on…?"

"You don't know what's going on?!" Roxas and Axel jumped at the voice behind them. They turned around to see who they knew to be the mayor of Twilight Town. Lucikly, Roxas and Axel vaguely remembered something about acting as travelers when confronted by a townsperson. "Why, haven't you ever heard of the Twilight Town Midsummer Festival before?"

"We've only just arrived here from—" Roxas stopped short, frowning to think of a location.

"…Somewhere else," Axel finished lamely. Then, his eyes took on a devious glint. "But we could help if you needed us. We've participated in festivals before."

Roxas looked at him, stunned, but said nothing as the surprised mayor asked, "Really? What could you help us with?" The mayor thought for a moment. "Fireworks, perhaps?"

Axel grinned wider. "My specialty. Just show us where they are and we'll begin setting them up in their proper location."

Roxas was white as a sheet as he and Axel were dragged off in the general direction of an open field in Sunset Terrace.

-------((oh dear!))---------

"_We could help if you need us,_ he says," Roxas mimicked as he attempted to stick a firework into he ground in vain. "_We've participated in festivals before… _just why in _hell_ did you feed him such bullshit?" Frustrated, Roxas threw the firework to the ground, glaring at it accusingly.

Axel looked very secretive in his firework pile, pulling chords and twisting some together. "Oh come on Roxas," he said distractedly, "you said you were bored! Besides," he paused at his work to grin at Roxas, "you seriously think that I, the master of all things related to fire and pyrotechnics, have never messed with and or set of fireworks before? _Please._ This is child's play," he finished, continuing on his work.

Roxas sighed. "You could at least tell me what to do."

"In a minute."

Roxas looked suspicious. "…What are you doing over there anyway? I don't think we were supposed to _tamper_ with the fireworks…"

Axel immediately covered the bundle of fireworks in front of him. "Nothing! I'm not doing anything to them!" Putting down his pile, he walked over to Roxas and his pile. "You want me to show you how to set them up? Fine, first you put this part in the ground…"

---------((fast foreward!))-------

"Almost time for the fireworks!" Axel grinned as he finished final preparations with Roxas. "These folk won't know what hit them…" he muttered.

"How is it going you two?" Axel stiffened when the mayor appeared, inspecting the fireworks. "It looks like everything is in order, although I have never had any experience with fireworks myself…" Axel visibly relaxed at this, and smiled reassuringly at the mayor.

"Everything is perfectly fine, sir, whenever you give us the signal we shall set off the fireworks."

"Oh you'll know when," grinned the mayor, "it will be announced over the loudspeakers."

"Perfect," Axel smiled and shook the mayor's hand before he walked away. Roxas, however, did not miss the devious glint in Axel's eye.

"What are you plotting? There's something going on in that head of yours…" Roxas looked over at the grinning Axel as he neared Roxas.

"Why nothing of course! I just want to see the fireworks," he whispered as he stepped into Roxas, enfolding him in his embrace. "Perhaps you could give me a little preview…?" Roxas smirked at him before reaching up and sealing his lips over Axel's.

The kiss quickly turned into something deeper as Axel angled his lips over Roxas' and slipped his tongue into his mouth. As the two battled for dominance, Axel lowered Roxas to the floor, covering his body with his own.

Axel trailed kisses down Roxas' jawline, and Roxas gasped as he tried in vain to pay attention to the surroundings. He vaguely heard the mayor talking, and saying something about _fireworks_ and _now_, Roxas figured it was a good time to tell Axel to start the fireworks show. However, he couldn't get his mouth to obey the 'Speak' command. 'Make Out with Axel' sure, but that was the only command available at the moment.

Luckily, Axel heard the same thing, and reached backwards to snap his fingers, lighting the fuse that began the fireworks show.

As Axel's hands roamed over Roxas' chest, and his kisses pressed on lower, Roxas had a clear view of the fireworks overhead.

"Axel…" Roxas muttered as Axel pushed his shirt up. Roxas noticed vaguely that the fireworks were saying something to him, and he thought he was hallucinating until he read them again.

"_AXEL!"_ he whispered harshly, sitting up. "What the _fuck_ did you do to the fireworks?" Axel grinned pointing upwards.

Roxas looked up again, growling at the message of _AXEL LOVES ROXAS_ adorned with many hearts looking back at him. "You do realize that we're dead now, right?"

"Sure," Axel shrugged halfheartedly, "but that doesn't mean you don't get to reply to my confession…" he muttered, pulling Roxas into an embrace.

"Of course I love you, dumbass," Roxas said, kissing him quickly on the lips. The mob coming closer in his peripheral vision, however, ruined the moment. "Because of you we won't be able to come back here for a few months," Roxas muttered.

"So!" Axel stated proudly, "we can just be little _angels_ at the castle and stay in my bedroom in our free time…" he winked.

Roxas sighed and opened a portal for them. "Come on," he muttered, taking Axel's hand as they stepped through towards home.

---------------

Could not RESIST the fireworks pickup line. xP But this one was quite difficult to think of something to do actually. But I think its sufficient.

NOW….YOU ALL KNOW THE DRILL MY DARLINGS!

LEAVE ME LOTS OF LOVE. KTHX.

::huggles::

freaky-hanyou


	10. Dance Dance Revolution: Zemyx & AkuRoku

ALRIGHT. TWO THINGS.

ONE. I apologize deeply and sincerely for my two dimensional characters. I am aware of this deplorable fact. And yet, I like writing my oneshots that way. Because I know that if I fleshed them out properly, it would take _so_ many pages and then this story would make me crazeh. ::bows deeply::

TWO! Oh man. ::huggles all precious reviews:: I seriously wanted to update yesterday. Like, seriously I sat down to write and I even _played_ DDR in preparation. And _then,_ my friends told me I had to be at school at flippin 715, when I usually _leave_ at that time. So I was _so pissed._ Like, if I had written this amazing dance party, it would not have been in a good tone. SO I held off for the good of the party.

And to relieve tension, I attempted again for the 2millionth time to beat down Xaldin's ass in KH2 proud mode. Alas, I got _so close._ but I cannot escape that beam of terror from the dragon thing. ::cries::

BUT ENOUGH OF THIS SILLINESS. WE NEED SILLINESS IN A STORY!

Disclaimer: NOPE! XP

"talk" _think_ ((yours truly))

**What If…**

_Demyx got Zexion to play Dance Dance Revolution with him?_

_And Axel and Roxas joined them and had_

_a__ huge DDR dance party!?_

_ ((as suggested by the lovely TheMadHathor))  
_

"Come on, Zexy, you know it'll be fun!"

Zexion sighed as he let himself be pulled to Demyx's room. _Why in hell am I getting into this…_he thought darkly, almost being pulled straight into a wall. _This crazy Nobody will be the death of me._ "Why am I needed here again?"

"Because it's no fun to play DDR by yourself!" Demyx exclaimed, as if this ended the discussion.

Zexion raised his eyebrows. "You never actually told me what DDR is…"

Demyx smiled deviously as he opened the room to his door. "Dance Dance Revolution of course!" he grinned and pushed Zexion into the room.

As Demyx shut the door, Zexion stared at him blankly. "Demyx…I can't dance."

"I'll teach you. Besides its not dancing really…"

Zexion's ire grew. "Demyx…"

Demyx smiled at him. "Please Zexion?"

"No."

"But-"

"I said _no, Demyx!"_ Zexion said, changing into the Superior for added scare-effect. Demyx instantly recoiled.

"Z-Zexion, come on, that isn't funny-"

"I don't care Number IX!" Demyx flinched. Zexion only called him 'Number IX' when he was really angry. "I don't want to make an ass of myself in front of you by attempting to dance!" Zexion immediately clapped his hands over his mouth, turning back into himself as he turned pink.

Demyx smiled softly and folded Zexion into a warm hug. "Don't worry," he whispered into Zexion's ear, "I'll teach you." Zexion softened and hugged him back lightly.

"…I guess." he said grudgingly. Demyx squealed and set up the game.

------((time elapse))------

Zexion glared at the television as he got an E yet again. He was doing perfectly fine when Demyx played the slow ones for him, but of course Demyx got a teeny bit impatient and put on the hard ones. Zexion sighed as he swore under his breath. _Goddamn, this game must be invented to kill you…_He thought he was in good shape before he played this game. He looked over at Demyx before he collapsed onto the bed.

"Demyx….you're going to kill me…."

Demyx grinned and tackled him. "How can you possibly be tired?!" His grin faded as he crawled up him. "We haven't even _done_ anything yet…"

Zexion's eyes widened as Demyx moved closer to him. Just as their lips were about to touch, the door burst open.

"Demyx! We were going to…go…out…what the hell?" Roxas looked over at the bed in confusion at the two men who had just leapt apart, and hurled themselves into the headboards by accident. Axel broke out into hysterical laughter at the pair.

Rubbing his injured head, Demyx grinned up at the pair. "We were just playing DDR…" He said, not meeting their eyes.

Axel grinned devilishly. "So that's what they're calling it these days?" Glancing at the television screen and then grinning pervertedly at the two on the bed, he continued, "would you mind if we j—"

"Played DDR with you?" Roxas finished, glaring at Axel for daring to suggest that they "join" them in anything else.

Demyx grinned, glad for the subject change. "Of course! You two can play next, my head hurts a bit…"

Surprisingly, Axel was horrible at DDR. Roxas grinned at him. "You really suck, you know…"

Axel smirked at him. "Oh and you're just amazing," he said sarcastically.

"Hell, I could do this all day."

"We could do something _else_ all day…" Axel said, winking at him.

"Shut up." Roxas muttered, his cheeks pinking as his focus resumed on the game.

Axel looked offended. "I call upon Demyx to defend my honor!" Roxas looked over at him, confused. _Wasn't it just _my_ honor that was compromised?_ Shaking his head, Roxas accepted the challenge as Demyx stepped onto the dance floor. Meeting his determined eye, Roxas grinned predatorily at him.

"Max 300?"

"You know it." Demyx smiled as he selected the fastest paced song on the game. It certainly wasn't the hardest, but it was certainly quick.

Roxas quickly took the lead as the song started. He stole a glance over at Demyx, to see that he looked as if he was truly determined to beat Roxas down. _Not a chance,_ Roxas said as he landed from a jump and started going into multiple quick jumps. However, he landed funny, and being exhausted from playing many songs with Axel, he was unable to recover and fell to the floor, clutching his right ankle.

Axel gasped as he went over to Roxas. Demyx stopped the song and stood back a little with Zexion as Axel fussed over him.

"I'm _fine_ Axel, there's no need to—_Axel!"_

Roxas yelled out as Axel hefted him up bridal style. "As much as Roxas denies it," Axel called out to the pair over Roxas' protests, "he just twisted his ankle. I'm taking him to get it wrapped up…" Winking, Axel stepped out with Roxas in tow.

Demyx looked over at Zexion, grinning slightly. "You know, Axel fell like that when we played once…"

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So…" Demyx, continued, smirking slightly, "He _knows_ he didn't twist it, and that it just hurts like hell."

Zexion smiled back. "So…they aren't going to the infirmary are they?"

Demyx winked. "Nope!" Stepping closer to Zexion, he took his hand as he whispered, "So…Do _you_ have any injuries that need…_wrapping?"_

Zexion smirked and pulled Demyx's face to his. "You know, I just might have one or two…"

------------

Ehee! I think that turned out pretty well. And, what happened to Roxas? True story. I was playing Max 300, for like, the third time in a row, Very smart of me I know. And I landed funny and attempted a twist for like those three quick notes and landed with the side of my ankle instead of my foot. Fell right to the floor.

XP Of course, I didn't get a sexy Axel to fix it.

Read and Review my darlings!

freaky-hanyou


	11. Spin the Bottle: Soriku

Aha! Look at this! The next what if is a secret PM-ed one! Bwaha_ha!_ Oh boy, I'm a bit crazee today so beware. ::new smiley discovered: 8D ::giggles::

ON WITH THE SHOW MY DARLINGS!

"talking" _thinking _((haha I totally started writing inuyasha there...what the hell.)) ((that's me!)))

OH yeah and Disclaimer for the rest of this story because I am getting very sick of writing it. _**No.**_

**What If…**

_What if Sora and Riku played Spin the Bottle?_

_((as suggested by the lovely zestychicken2))_

Sora sighed as he rolled over on his bed for the fifth time that minute. He looked over at Riku, who seemed to be immersed in a computer game he found on Sora's computer. Sighing again, Sora picked up a teddy bear and threw it at Riku's head. Making its connection with pinpoint accuracy, Riku started and turned around, glaring mildly.

"Yes Sora?" He said, slightly mockingly.

"I'm bored!" He exclaimed, "Let's play a game!"

"But I'm already playing a game…" Riku said, longingly glancing at his near high score of a pinball game.

"So leave it up on the screen," he said, unfazed, as he searched around the room for a suitable game to play. _Hmmmm,_ he mused as he looked in his game closet. Sora had the sweetest, semi-childish room a teenager could have. Almost every surface was fuzzy, with the exception of the computer desk that Riku usually occupied, and his game closet. His blue carpet was perfect to lay on for long hours and play video games on.

Sora leapt into his closet with reckless abandon, searching for a fun game. _These are all boring…_his eyes took on a evil gleam. _Maybe Riku would play a _different_ game with me if I play it up right…_ Innocent look plastered on his face, he emerged from the Sora-Eating Closet to find Riku playing his pinball game again.

"Hey Riku?" Sora asked in what he hoped was an innocent tone.

Riku grunted, giving a sign that he was listening.

"Why don't we play Spin the Bottle?"

Riku spluttered as he turned around quickly, giving Sora an incredulous look. Forgetting all about his pinball game, he shook it off, grinning. "Sora, you need more than two people to play that!"

Sora smiled. "We have more than two people in here!" He went about the room gathering stuffed animals and putting them in a circle. "Let me go get a bottle!"

As he dashed out of the room, Riku reluctantly took a spot with the other "people". _What is he up to…_ Riku mused, absentmindedly playing with his hair. _Does he really want to kiss me that bad? Shit, he could just ask…_His musings stopped as Sora barged through the door carrying an old dark blue energy drink bottle.

"Perfect!" Sora said, as he sat across from Riku, putting the bottle in the middle. "You go first!"

Riku spun the bottle, and because of the carpet it stopped fairly quickly on Sora's teddy bear. Sora looked at him expectantly.

Riku looked at him, slightly uncomfortable. "…what?"

"You have to kiss it stupid!" Riku stared at him blankly before picking up the teddy bear and placing a quick peck on its lips.

Sora looked over at him seriously. "That was the shittiest kiss I've ever seen Riku."

Riku smirked. "Hey, it was being mean to me." Sora smirked and spun the bottle.

This time, the bottle quickly landed on Riku. Riku stared at it for a moment, before dragging his eyes up to Sora's face. He was grinning deviously, slowly nearing Riku, like a predator stalking his prey. Riku instinctively backed away.

This continued until Sora had Riku backed up against the wall. "What's wrong Riku?" Sora asked quietly, his eyes glinting, "Don't you want to kiss me?" Sora moved close enough to feel Riku's stuttered reply against his lips.

"Um well I…that is—" Sora cut him off with a quick peck on his lips. Riku sat silent, in shock.

"The fuck?" He said after a moment.

Sora flashed him the peace sign and mocked, "Hey, it was being mean to me."

Riku glared at him. "Hey! I am not an _it! _I am a he! I just _reek _masculine virility!" Seeing Sora laughing harder, he smirked. "Come here, you…" Riku chased Sora around before tackling him to the bed, tickling him mercilessly.

After a few moments of uncontrollable laughter as Riku attacked all of his weak spots, Sora finally managed to get the upper hand and flip them so that he was lying on top. At this exact moment of evil payback, the door was kicked open and a cheery voice pronounced:

"THERE IS MERRIMENT AFOOT IN HERE! COME ROXAS, WE MUST EXPLORE!"

Axel entered the room as his eyes fell upon the two on the bed, sprawled in a very compromising position. "Well well! I didn't know you had it in you, Sora!"

Roxas walked in at this precise moment. "Axel what—" Seeing the two on the bed, he cringed in horror and hid his face behind Axel. "My eyes! My baby brother is _not_ supposed to be seducing anyone!"

Sora growled as he leapt off of Riku. "You are older by two minutes Roxas. And I am _not_ seducing anyone! We were playing spin the bottle and-"

This seemed to spurn Roxas futher, but Axel put a hand on him to stay his argument. "Spin the bottle? _Oooh!_ Roxy let's play! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Roxas sighed. He had no choice. What Axel wanted, he got.

Roxas grunted out a fine and Axel squealed happily. "Can we play with you then?"

"Sure." Riku and Sora let out, mildly irritated as they sat down.

"Go ahead, Axel," Sora said, "I just had my…turn…" Looking fleetingly at Riku, he hid his face as his cheeks turned pink.

Axel smiled widely and spun the bottle. It landed quickly on Sora. Laughing happily, Axel threw himself upon Sora and immediately began to plant butterfly kisses all over his face.

Both of the other men reacted simultaneously. Both Riku and Roxas pulled Axel up and pushed him against the wall and started yelling before Sora could blink.

"What the _fuck_ was that?? You bastard—"

"I oughta _neuter_ you Axel! Why are you attacking my brother like that Completely uncalled for—"

"Actually I really didn't mind."

Both voices stopped as Riku and Roxas swiveled on the spot. Roxas had death in his eyes, and Riku looked mildly hurt.

Roxas stormed up to his brother and grabbed him by his shirt. "Axel is _mine._ Got it? I'm older, I get the privilege."

Sora laughed, angering Roxas further. "That's not what I meant Rox-"

"Good." Roxas finished shortly. "Axel." Said teenager, barely retaining his laughter against the wall, looked at him obediently. "I think you had too much sugar today…" he trailed off.

Axel grinned and pulled Roxas by the hand. "Wanna come help me work it off?" he winked.

Roxas turned mildly pink as he let himself be pulled out of the room.

Sora chuckled lightly in the now quiet room. "That was…interesting."

Riku stood at the same point he was after Sora had spoken up, his head down so his eyes were covered. "What did you mean when you said you didn't mind?" he asked quietly.

Sora looked over at him, surprised. "Axel is like my brother! I don't mind that he attacks me, its quite normal actually…" he mused.

Riku sighed in relief as he smiled at Sora. "Good." Sora's eyes widened as Riku approached quickly and pulled him roughly against him. "Because if it was for any other reason I'd have to kill him."

"Wha-" Sora's voice was cut off as Riku kissed him desperately. Sora gasped, and Riku took this opportunity to slip his tongue inside Sora's open mouth. Sora reacted after a moment, and soon Riku had him sprawled out on the bed, his lips working down Sora's jaw.

In a flash, Sora had Riku pinned down to the bed the same as he had before, with the same devious intent in his eyes.

"You still need payback from before…" Sora said as he leaned over Riku, grinning.

-------------------------

Eheee! This was fun. Poor Axel. XP

I love you all my darlings! I love it more if you leave me love::huggles reviews::

freaky-hanyou


	12. Leather Pants: Cleon

Wo0t! LOOK LOVELIES! IT'S A CLEON! YAY!

::points spastically::

"talk" _think_ ((meee!))

**What If…**

_Cloud randomly tripped down the stairs because of Yuffie_

_just as Leon appears in the way?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Mizutamari))_

"Cloud come _on! _We're going to be late! You promised, remember!"

"We have to destined time to leave, Yuffie! Have patience for once!" Cloud sighed as he blow dried his hair. _Stupid girl…_ he shook his head. With his spiky hair finally to his liking, he walked over to his closet and pulled out a black shirt. _I cannot believe she still remembers that I promised to take her clubbing when she turned 21..._ Sighing, he rummaged around for his pants. He turned slightly pink as he remembered their owner. Cloud had Aerith, who visited Leon regularly for town issues, "borrow" a pair of Leon's leather pants for him. Putting them on, he found that they fit rather snuggly. _How does he wear these everyday…?_ Cloud wondered, trying to stretch them a bit. His thoughts were cut off, however, when Yuffie kicked open the door.

"Goddammit Cloud we're _leaving!_ Jesus, you always take forever to get ready! Leon's already here to meet Aerith for gods sakes!" Cloud's eyes widened as Yuffie continued her crazy rant.

"Fuck Yuffie I can't wear these—" Cloud was cut off as Yuffie talked over him.

"The hell you can't! We're leaving!" She pushed him out the door in front of him, and continued to do so until he was at the top of the stairs.

-------------((meanwhile!))-----------

Leon shook his head as he heard Yuffie's angry ranting upstairs at poor Cloud. _What an idiot, promising her a thing like that…_ He started walking towards the foot of the stairs, intending to meet Aerith in the kitchen beyond them. All of a sudden he heard, "The hell you can't! We're leaving!" and saw Cloud pushed to the top of the stairs.

He had to hold his hand over his mouth, casually of course, to keep from drooling. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Cloud had his hair normally of course, but he was wearing a silky black shirt that was open three quarters, revealing his muscular chest. As Leon let his eyes travel lower, his eyes widened.

------------((switching povs))-------------

Cloud winced as he saw Leon staring at him from the foot of the stairs. _Oh man, he's trying to keep from laughing,_ worried Cloud as he stared back. His worries only intensified by Leon as his eyes traveled lower, Cloud slightly pinking.

His eyes widened as he said, "…are those _my_ pants?"

Cloud sputtered as he tried to think of an excuse as to why he was wearing them. "I'm sorry Leon I didn't mean to—"

"Oh shut up already!" Yuffie said from behind him, pushing him forward again. Cloud tripped over his own feet and fell, landing inevitably on the soft warm body at the bottom of them. Yuffie followed, and with the side comment of "I'll be waiting in the car!" stepped over them as if nothing was amiss.

Cloud was bright red as he pinned Leon effectively to the ground, his body completely covering the latter. His face was inches from his as Leon continued to stare at him, albeit a little more intensely.

"Why, _exactly,_ are you wearing my pants?" Leon ground out. As sexy as it was, he was very protective of his leather pants.

"I…um…wanted to see how they felt?" he explained weakly. "They're so tight, how the hell do you wear these all the time?"

Leon turned pink. "I…don't know, really…I just like them." Upon stating this, Leon remembered his current position. His cheeks reddened as he looked down at Cloud's gaping shirt. Going cross-eyed, he could see all the way down to his abdomen. He looked back up at Cloud, who was looking at him with a questioning gaze.

"Leon, what are you—"

"You know," Leon said, his gaze suddenly warm as he wrapped an arm around Cloud's shoulders. "You look good in my clothes." Cloud's eyes widened again as Leon pulled him close to kiss him fervently.

Cloud sat frozen as Leon kissed him. _What the hell…?_ he thought vaguely as he responded automatically. His hands wrapped themselves in Leon's hair as Leon's hands explored Cloud's chest. Cloud gasped as his hands traced his abs, going lower with every movement. Cloud instinctively pushed his hips against Leon's in response, causing Leon to gasp. Cloud seized the opportunity and pushed his tongue into the other's mouth, demanding submission. He was on top dammit! Cloud moved to nibble on the other's earlobe as Leon stopped to breathe, panting.

"Oh Leon you're—_Cloud?!"_

Cloud leapt off of Leon with alarming speed as Aerith entered the living room. Both men were flushed and did not meet her eyes, sheepishly looking at the gorund.

"Well-I-Have-To-Take-Yuffie-Clubbing-Now-Bye!" Cloud said as he ran out the door, a Cloud shaped dust cloud behind him.

Aerith fixed Leon with a questioning look. "What the hell was that?"

"I was just…admiring…." Leon improvised, scratching the back of his neck and grinning, still slightly pink in the face. "Yes, that's it. I was admiring Cloud wearing my leather pants."

-----------------

Wow, that's a short one. I've never written a Cleon before, so I'm not _too_ happy with it…but hey! Practice. Makes. Perfect.

So bring on those What If's my lovelies! I've got a lovely list and I love to see it grow!

I guess I can start a coming soon even though all of you can just check the reviews…

Well I'll just say the pairing. XD

COMING SOON: AkuRoku!

freaky-hanyou


	13. The Bike: AkuRoku

Ok. I love all of you and you know that. But it seriously is starting to bug me when I get alerts of people marking my story as a favorite, when it takes just as much time to review. Gr. I'm loving the hit count though. XP

Oh and Japaneserocker, although you cant take my story word for word, but im 300 positive that that idea has been used at least 500 times. XD Go crazy darling.

ON WITH THE PERFORMANCE!

"talk" _think_ ((meeee))

**What If…**

_Roxas didn't know how to ride a bike, and Axel _

_was the only one willing to teach him? _

_((as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate))_

"Come _on_ Roxas, these Heartless aren't going to defeat themselves you know!" Axel said as he jumped in front of the yawning Roxas to protect him from a score of Shadows. "Wake up and smell the flaming begonias!"

Roxas shook himself and proceeded to attack as well, albeit a little more sluggishly than usual. "_Sorry,_ I can't function normally after being kept up _all_ night thanks," Roxas grumbled.

Axel winked at him as he took out a handful of Soldiers. "Oh come on, you know you like it…" Roxas pinked, and turned around to take out a Large Body that had recently appeared.

Let's rewind for a moment.

It seems that whenever Axel and Roxas get assigned to quiet and peaceful Twilight Town for 'patrol', all hell breaks loose. _Every time._

_We have such impeccable luck, _Axel thought darkly as even more Heartless appeared. Suddenly, his eyes lit upon a pair of bikes abandoned on the side of the road. "Hey, Rox! Look! We can totally get away or at least get them to chase us if we ride away!" Axel yelled, pointing at the bikes.

Roxas followed where he was pointing, his eyes widening as he turned around to fight some more. "No Axel, we can't leave from here until the job his done," he said sharply.

"But-"

"I said _no_ Axel!" Axel stopped and abruptly turned away to finish off his Heartless. _What the hell is wrong with him? _He wondered as he got rid of the stragglers. Then he got an idea.

_Maybe…_ When all of the Heartless were gone, Axel turned to a panting Roxas, grinning He came closer to him, embracing him.

"What do you say we take those bikes and go for a different kind of ride," Axel whispered low into his ear.

Roxas stiffened and tried to fight off his embrace weakly. "N-no, Axel, I can't…" he whispered.

"Why not?" Axel questioned as he ran his hands up and down Roxas' back.

"B-because…I don't know how to ride a bike."

"AHA! I KNEW IT!" Axel said, stepping back triumphantly.

"Hey!" Roxas said, as he steadied himself. "You cheated!"

"Did not," Axel said, making a peace sign. "Why haven't you said anything the other five hundred times we've been here?"

"Because I didn't think it was important…"

"Bah," Axel dismissed as he went over to the bikes, picking the smaller of the two up, "It's a skill everyone should have! Come on, its time to learn!"

----------((Oh boy, teaching Axel))-----------

"Axel…"

"Axel-sensei."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel-_sensei,_ are you sure this is a smart way to learn how to ride a bike…?" he questioned as he looked warily down the hill by Sunset Station he was perched upon. "Isn't it a bit…dangerous?"

"Smart? Psh, doubt it, but it is certainly an effective way! It teaches speed and balance!" Axel smiled and Roxas sweatdropped. _Leave it to Axel to go with a trial by fire…_

"Ready!"

"N-"

"OK GO!" Axel yelled as he pushed him down the hill. Roxas was balanced for about 3 seconds before he flew off of the bike and headlong into the giant sack perched at the bottom of the hill.

Roxas picked himself up off the ground as Axel ran over to him. "No. Hills." he ground out.

Axel nodded deftly and went to get the bike.

---------------------((NEXT!))----------------

Roxas looked at Axel warily as he looked over at the busy street. "Axel-"

"_Sensei."_

"—How is a busy street any different than a hill?"

Axel beamed at him. "Au contraire, a busy hill teaches speed and balance! A busy street teaches accuracy and precision! Not to mention dodging skills…" he grinned and pushed Roxas into the street.

Roxas managed to dodge one skateboarder and a family with a stroller, but was distracted enough to fly straight into a lamppost.

Roxas groaned as Axel ran over to him. "That lamppost came out of nowhere!" Roxas glared at him.

"Can we please go somewhere normal Axel….sensei?" Axel beamed and saluted.

-----------((Take three!))----------

"Axel…." Roxas said, twitching, "I really don't think this is a good idea…"

"Sensei has seen many a child learn how to ride a bike in the park!" Axel nodded resolutely.

"I'm pretty sure they would have learned on pavement…" Roxas grumbled, looking over the grassy expanse riddled with holes.

"Nonsense! Learning this way helps you think quick and react to unexpected terrain!" Axel gleefully pushed him once again.

Roxas concentrated as he bobbed and darted around the unexpected holes. The pavement was in sight, and he visibly relaxed…just as he fell straight into a hole, flipping over the handlebars.

Axel ran over to help him stand again.

"_Axel-sensei."_ Axel cringed under Roxas' tone. "Let _me_ pick the next teaching location."

Axel nodded silently.

--------((oh noes!))--------------

Roxas worked a crick in his neck out as he looked approvingly over the flat sidewalk surrounded by trees. "This is the perfect spot to learn!"

Axel groaned. "But you can't learn anything from here!"

"I'll just practice then, alright?" Roxas gave him the pleading, You-love-this-piece-off-ass cute face. Axel sighed and grinned as he pushed him.

Roxas wobbled at first as he went down the flat terrain, but managed to stay up. As he cleared the surrounding trees, his eyes widened as he saw the sharp hill of sidewalk. He yelled out as he sped up considerably.

_I can handle this,_ he thought quickly as he saw a mother and a two year old approach him. _Fuck._ he thought as he swerved quickly out of the way onto the grass. As he turned back onto the sidewalk, turning around to make sure the two were okay, he turned around to see a man-hole in front of him. Thinking fast, he leapt over using a pile of wood that was stacked on the side as a ramp. Landing safely, he swerved slightly to stop as Axel ran up beside him, panting.

"See! I did teach you!"

Roxas stared at him and thought briefly.

Flying down a hill…_speed and balance._

Dodging families…_accuracy and precision._

Flying over holes…_thinking quick and reacting to unexpected terrain._

Roxas blinked as he looked over at a beaming Axel.

"Axel-sensei…"

"Yes, my darling pupil?"

"I hate you."

Axel's smile faded as he looked over at Roxas, shocked. "But-"

Axel was silenced as Roxas all but mauled him, pushing him against a convenient tree. His hands roamed over the older male, skimming over his chest and abs as his hips ground into his. Axel moaned as Roxas slipped his tongue into his mouth. He pulled away sharply and Axel slumped against him, panting.

"I owe you one, _Sensei."_

-----------------------------

Oh man, I almost wrote a story without the lovin' and im like This is not right. XP But it has been remedied. that was a fun one!

ALRIGHT LOVELIES. GO THAT EXTRA MILE WITH THE PURPLE BUTTON. SHOW THE LOVE.

Coming Soon: AkuRoku!

freaky-hanyou


	14. The Rollercoaster: AkuRoku

Oh my god. So. I love every inch of all of you. I see some new reviewers out there too! Nice to hear your lovely typed voices:-D I should start calling you folk my usuals. But yeah you people really make me happy. Seriously, I just had a minor panic attack because of this research paper I have to work on this week,and then I opened my email ((after I thought of a topic for the damned thing)) and im like Aw..::loves::

So yes, I am not being superficial when I say reviews mean a lot to me.

So on with the show ne?

"talk" _think_ ((moi))

K so wrote that _last_ Monday. I have been a very bad bad authoress. This week has just been so flipping _exhausting._ So. here I am updating. But as of this moment the _internet_ isn't functioning, but I can still write it out. XD Grrr.

**What If…**

_Roxas and Axel got stuck on a roller coaster together?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Zestychicken2))_

"Oh, come _on,_ Roxas, it really isn't that bad!" Axel pleaded, half dragging Roxas down the path.

Roxas looked up at the tall and formidable red rollercoaster. "There is no way in _hell_ I am submitting myself to this…this…thing…" He looked up for a split-second, horrorstruck, as a group of riders plummeted down the 90-degree drop. He then composed himself, shaking his head and looking away. "It's a stupid ride…"

Axel looked offended. "The Falcon is not stupid! Sure, the kiddie version might be, but-"

"That looks fun!" Roxas fired back. Axel looked at him incredulously, and he turned away, pinking. "I'm not going."

Axel pushed himself into Roxas' line of vision, his you-know-you-can't-resist-this face. "Please? For me?"

Roxas cringed and turned away. "I…can't."

"Aww, why not? Axel pouted, partly serious.

"Because!" Roxas yelled out harsher than he intended. He winced and corrected himself. "I mean…well, I just don't like roller coasters okay?"

Axel nodded resolutely. Three seconds later, he threw his arm around Roxas' shoulder and grinned at him. "If you won't do it for me, what will you do it for?"

Roxas thought for a while. _He'll never do it._ _My Rollerphobia is completely safe._ "You have to not hit on me for three hours. Then I will ride…The Falcon…with you."

Axel squealed and moved to hug Roxas. Roxas raised an eyebrow, and Axel changed mid motion and shook Roxas' hand.

"Deal."

--------((one hour and a half later))-----------

Roxas was getting worried. _He's actually acting like a normal human being! _Roxas thought, slightly panicked, as they walked toward the games at the amusement park. _Not _one_ perverted comment yet!_ _I'll have to draw him out,_ he thought determinedly.

"Hey Axel."

"Yes, Rox…as?"

"Would you play this game with me?" Roxas said, pointing to a stand.

Axel examined the game in question. The object was to get a ring down a curled stick without touching the sides. Simple enough.

"Why not," he replied as they walked toward the game.

After playing a few rounds, Roxas smiled to himself. _Phase one beginning._ Calling upon his rarely used acting skills, Roxas let out a long winded groan. "This is so hard!"

Axel twitched, but continued his game.

Roxas continued on. "God, if only this was straighter! It would be so much easier to get it in!"

Axel, who was an inch away from beating the game, dropped his ring and burst into hysterics.

Roxas quirked an eyebrow at him, daring to be semi-triumphant. "Got something to say?"

Axel attempted in vain to school his features into a semi-strained grin. "It was just…the wind…tickled me."

"The _wind?"_

"Yes." Axel said resolutely as if this ended the discussion.

Roxas facepalmed as they went on to more rides.

------------------((another hour and a half))---------------

Axel counted down mentally on his watch. _Three, two, one…_ "WOOO!!" Axel yelled as he tackled Roxas into the nearest wall and kissed him ferociously.

Roxas eyes' widened as he met Axel's passion with equal fervor. Stopping to breathe and to flick off those who dared to catcall, Axel smiled and gave Roxas a rib-cracking hug. "YAY! Now we can go ride The Falcon!"

Roxas visibly paled. "Al…right."

Axel cheered and dragged him to the coaster just as the sun began to go down.

------------((passage of time))-----------

Roxas continued to panic as they arrived at the loading dock for the coaster. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered.

Axel slipped his hand into his and smiled reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Roxie. There's nothing to be afraid of. Nothing ever goes wrong with this coaster!" Axel grinned as they stepped into their car for the ride. "We'll be perfectly fine!"

"You just realize you just jinxed the hell out of this entire ride," Roxas muttered as they were pulled up the hill. _Of course we had to sit in the first car…_ He continued to look at his feet as Axel continued.

"Oh what bullshit," he commented as they reached the top, "We're perfectly _fine!"_

And with a screech, the ride came to a complete stop at the top of the ride.

Roxas groaned. "You were saying?" he said, his face turning even whiter.

"It'll be alright Roxy. We'll be down in a few minutes tops."

------------((one hour later))--------------

"_Axel."_ Roxas gritted his teeth as he continued to stare at his feet. "I think it has been a few minutes."

Axel tried to smile, but failed when he saw Roxas' steely glare. "Um…oops?" Roxas snorted and continued to look at his feet.

"You know," Axel said, trying to catch Roxas' attention. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing." Roxas looked at him incredulously. "Seriously! You haven't even looked at the view we have once."

"I don't want to," Roxas said stubbornly.

Axel gave him the you-know-you-can't-resist-this face. "Please?"

Roxas groaned and glanced quickly at the sunset. He gasped slightly and stared. The view was astronomical. All of the hills and rollercoasters were just starting to light up, framed in the delicate oranges and reds of the skyline that they were near. Since they were in the front, no cars inhibited their view of the park, either.

Axel poked him in the side. "Well? Worth waiting up here for?"

Roxas said nothing, kissed Axel quickly on the cheek, and went back to looking at his feet.

"Hey now," Axel said quietly, "you can't just leave it at that…" he said as he pulled Roxas in for a deeper kiss. At that moment, the ride creaked and started to move forward again.

"We've moving!" Axel yelled down the hill. Roxas was too busy screaming to hear him.

----------------((wheee!))--------------

"I am so buying this picture." Axel said resolutely as he walked up to the cashier.

Roxas pinked as he went up with him. In the photo, that Axel was buying keychains and wallet sizes for, Roxas was screaming at the top of his lungs, tackling Axel so that he would have fell out of the car if not for the safety straps.

"That done," Axel said grinning, "How about we ride that kiddie ride you wanted to go on?"

Roxas grinned and led the way.

--------------------------

Oh man, what a crazy. I started writing this earlier today, but then I totally forgot I had to baby-sit, so I literally ran out of the house, leaving this until now.

In between these things, idiot here put her finger to a cigarette car lighter thing to see if it was hot. I cannot write that sentence without stopping to stick my finger on a block of ice.

Needless to say, it took physical pain to write this for my lovelies. But I just could NOT resist.

So, show the love. XP

freaky-hanyou


	15. Paopu Fruit: Soriku

::frolics:: So I was debating about updating today, because I was trying to figure out a way to give this what if depth, and its not working. BUT the nice steady stream of lovely reviews with crizazy what ifs have encouraged me to wing it. as usual. XD And I must say, some of the ones I got today to add to my slew of what ifs.

ON the way is this Soriku, and then a hugeass line of Zemyx with a few Cleons spattered between. ::counts:: Yes. 5 Zemyx with 2 Cleon spattered between before we hit another Soriku and then an Akuroku. So all you Zemyx folk be prepared! XP

And then I got an amazing suggestion with two pairings! A tricky one I might add.

But enough peeking into the list! And thank you all! My finger is better today! YAY!

ON WITH THE SHOW.

Ahem. "talk" _think_ ((yours truly))

**What If…**

_Riku and Sora shared a paopu fruit?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Demyx-KillingMeSoftly))_

Sora sighed in relaxation as he lounged on the beach at Destiny Island. _As much fun as running around saving the worlds is,_ he thought lazily, _this is definitely the best._ He looked over at Riku, smiling slightly.

"Riku…" he whispered to the dozing teen. He didn't budge. Sora rolled over and began to poke him in the ribs. "Riiiiiiikuuuuuu…"

Riku stirred slightly, snorting in his sleep. Sora sighed in exasperation and rolled on top of Riku, tickling him mercilessly. Riku started awake, laughing.

"S-sora, what? Stop!" Sora continued for a few moments, before stopping in triumph.

"Aha!" Sora said, doing the 'rarely-seen-happy-I-conquered-Riku-dance' on top of him. "Now you have to be punished!"

"_Really?"_ Riku said deviously. "What do you have in mind?"

Sora thought for a moment. "You have to find me food!" He nodded resolutely.

Riku facepalmed. _Leave it to Sora; he's too naive for his own good._ Sora looked at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Nothin. What do you want to eat?"

Sora shrugged. "Surprise me."

Riku playfully pushed Sora off and ran off into the palm trees. _Hmm…_he thought as he looked around. _I am damned sick of coconuts…Well we could eat paopu fruit…_ He thought further. _I don't think he'd mind._ He grabbed a couple of the fruits in question and set off towards the beach.

When he arrived, he saw Sora sprawled out on the beach again, eyes closed. Riku grinned evilly. _This is too perfect…_

He snuck up to Sora, which was a hard feat considering both of them were superior fighters, and pied Sora in the face with a paopu. Sora spluttered and sat up. "What the-" he got out before he had another fruit smashed in his face again. Choking on the paopu in his mouth, he took a moment to recover himself as Riku burst into hysterical laughter, falling to the ground.

Sora glared and gathered some of the fruit on his shirt into a ball. Flinging himself at Riku, he shoved the ball down the others throat. Riku gasped and attempted to swallow. Sora laughed at Riku as he spluttered, reaching for his water bottle.

"Not…Funny," he gasped out.

"Is too," Sora replied.

Both of them sat there gasping for a minute. Sora had a minor realization.

"Hey Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we just have a paopu fruit fight?"

"Well, one would assume that would be the only reason to throw fruit at each other," Riku said sarcastically.

"Yeah, but I ate some paopu, and then you ate some paopu…did we just share a paopu fruit?"

Riku hesitated. "…Yeah."

Sora stayed silent, and Riku began to panic. _Dammit, now he's going to freak out; I _knew_ I should have just got the stupid coconuts-_his thoughts were interrupted as Sora enveloped Riku in a warm hug.

"I'm glad," he whispered into Riku's ear, "that we'll always be together."

Riku shivered and turned to face Sora. "Yeah," he whispered, drawing closer, "Always." He drew in Sora for a long, sweet kiss.

-------------------

Bah. Complete and utter WAFF land. AAAND its freakishly short. Gyah. Like seriously, freakishly short. Like 497 words. Damn. XP So here we have an official drabble. Sorry lovelies! Still, I managed to put a spin on it! Whee!

Leave the love!

And I forgot the coming soon last time.

If you haven't guessed, Coming Soon: Zemyx!

freaky-hanyou


	16. Lessons: Zemyx

Meh. That one was just a meh in my book. I love all m stories but still. NOW we must level the bias of Akurokus my lovelies! The next Akuroku is in…::counts:: 8 stories, this one included. So! Let's have some fun! I figured I should be able to pop out a story before work, so…::determination::

And by the by. Upon perusing my stories, I noticed that I forgot to credit the idea for the DDR dance party. After spazzing, I corrected the error. ::bows to the reviewer, TheMadHathor:: Very sorry my lovely. Credit will always be given when it is due.

OH YEAH! 50 FLIPPIN REVIEWS::confetti:: I'm so happy.

"talk" _think_ ((moi!))

**What If…**

_Zexion can't swim, so Demyx has to teach him?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Inspire-Illuminate))_

Zexion looked up from his research, sighing. _Finally done._ He heard a knock on the door and turned slowly to answer it. The knocking was constant and started to tap a beat on his door. Zexion rolled his eyes. _Well I _wonder_ who that could be…_ Opening the door, a black and blonde blur flew into his arms.

"ZEXY!" With the power of momentum, Demyx pushed Zexion onto the bed, landing comfortably on his chest. Propping his head up on his shoulders, he looked down at Zexion, grinning.

"Hey Demyx," Zexion said, grinning slightly. "What-"

"I'm _bored,_ Zexy, you have to entertain me!" Demyx said, reaching down to hug him tightly.

Zexion rolled his eyes. "How many Pixie Stix did you eat today Demyx?"

Demyx pulled back and mumbled a number incoherently.

"Demyx…" Zexion said warningly.

"17," he whispered.

"_Seventeen?!_" Zexion cried, sitting up a little. "Demyx, those Pixie Stix you have are almost 2 feet long!"

Demyx grinned. "But they're so good!"

Zexion sighed. "What do you want to do?" he said.

Demyx thought for a minute. "Dunno!" he said, "That's why I came in he-OHMYGOD!" Hyper!Demyx cried as he tackled Zexion to the bed again. "I know what we can do!" He leapt off of Zexion and attacked the dresser with lightning speed.

Zexion blinked, and Demyx was back on top of him again. "What in hell-?"

"You have to close your eyes, it's a surprise!" he squealed. "I have to go to my room and get something first, one second!"

In a flash, Demyx was gone. Zexion blinked again, taking in the silence. Sitting up, he chuckled slightly. _I have to remember to make sure that Axel never gives him Pixie Stix again._

--------((oh no!))-------

"Demyx, can I open my eyes now?" Zexion said, growling as he was led onward somewhere. _It is not amusing to be led through this damned castle by a hyper Demyx. If I run into one more wall he's dead,_ he thought as he heard a door open.

With a snap, Zexion recoiled as a door was slammed into him. "Number IX!" Zexion growled angrily.

Demyx winced and led him into the room properly. "You can open your eyes now!"

Zexion opened his eyes, taking in the pool before him three seconds before he was pushed into it.

Zexion popped out of the water, gasping as he grabbed on to the edge. "_Shit!_ Demyx, what the hell was that for?"

He shrugged as Zexion pulled himself out of the water, shrugging off his wet clothes. "I don't even have anything to wea-" Demyx smiled and handed over a pair of Zexion's swim trunks.

"When did I get swim trunks?" he wondered.

"I bought them for you of course! Now go change and we can get in!"

Zexion started to protest, but Demyx shoved him into a changing room before he could get out a sentence.

-------------((threatening music))---------------

Zexion walked out of his changing room to find that Demyx was already swimming. Upon seeing that Zexion was ready, Demyx called out to him and climbed out of the pool. Zexion could not help but stare at him as he crawled out over the edge. _Damn,_ he thought as he looked over Demyx's lithe form. _I never knew what was under that cloak._ He was still musing as Demyx came and took him by the hand, starting to lead him towards the pool. Upon seeing the water, Zexion came to his senses quickly.

"Um, Demyx, I don't think I can go swimming with you…" he trailed off.

Demyx looked like Zexion just took his puppy and threw it into a wood chipper. "Why not?"

"Well…I…um…"

Demyx was shocked. _I've never seen Zexy stutter before…_He moved closer to Zexion, concerned. "What's wrong?"

Zexion mumbled something incoherent.

"Zexion…" Demyx said, mocking him earlier.

"I can't swim."

Demyx gaped at him. For long minutes. Zexion stared back incredulously before snapping his fingers in his face. This seemed to be the restart key for Demyx, who immediately went over to the pool closet near the wall. "Not a problem! I'll just teach you!"

Zexion stifled a groan. _I'm going to drown. _

---------((Dun dun DUNN))----------

Zexion glared at the offending floaties in Demyx's hands. "I am not wearing those," he stated.

"Oh come on Zexy! Everyone uses water wingies at one point!" He held up the offending hot pink wings for Zexion to put on.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Number _IX,_" Zexion ground out, "I am not putting on the wingies."

"_Please?" _Demyx said devilishly, raising a wall of water from the pool behind him. Zexion shuddered as he reluctantly took the hot pink wingies and put them over his shoulders. Demyx gleefully led him into the water to give him his first lesson.

"First, you have to learn how to hold your breath underwater," he stated matter of factly. He blew bubbles into the top of the water. "After you learn this, you'll be able to keep the water out of your nose. The rest is easy!"

Zexion tried it a few times, but couldn't manage to keep the water out of his nose. "This is stupid," he muttered.

"Water is not stupid!" Demyx yelled, offended. "You can do this!" After a few more tries, Zexion managed to get a little better.

"Good! Now we'll just come back here to keep practicing!"

----------------((Later that week))--------------

Axel observed calmly as Zexion got up from the dinner table to leave. Demyx was about to follow, when Axel tripped him, his tray and its contents flying everywhere.

"_Oops!_ I'll help you there dear Demyx!"

As Axel bent down to help Demyx, he whispered, "What exactly are you doing with Zexion all this time?"

"Lessons," Demyx responded curtly. Axel burst into laughter and abandoned Demyx to go converse with Roxas about what kind of 'lessons' are taking place.

---------((Oh man, have to leave soon::types faster:: ))--------

Demyx watched as Zexion practiced swimming across the shallow end of the pool. "Axel thinks we're having sex," Demyx stated bluntly. Zexion fell into the water, shooting up spluttering.

"_What?"_

"He laughed at me when I said we were having 'lessons.'"

Zexion sputtered again. "That little pervert," he muttered to himself. "What makes him think that we would be doing any other 'lessons?!'" He continued muttering to himself.

"What's wrong with other kinds of 'lessons'?" Demyx muttered quietly. Zexion stopped ranting and crawled out of the pool, coming closer to Demyx.

"Would you like me to start giving you 'lessons'?" Demyx nodded shyly. "You have to promise me one thing."

Demyx looked up into his eyes expectantly.

"Until I tell you so, you are forbidden to eat any Pixie Stix."

Demyx laughed. "Deal."

Zexion smiled and pulled him closer. "Lesson one," he whispered as he pulled Demyx in for a kiss.

----------------------

FOUR MINUTES TO SPARE! QUICK TO THE POSTING! EEEE.

R AND R MY LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou


	17. The Puppy: Zemyx

So im bored. And I was going to wait to write until I got 7 reviews because that's the high score per chapter here, and its reeeally starting to bug me. but THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE FOLK WHO REVIEW LOVE ME. :-) I love you all.

So anyway. I just wrote a 4.5 page long outline for a research paper. My brain is a _bit_ scrambled, so humor me. XD

"talk" _think_ ((mee))

…::time elapse::…. I don't even remember when I wrote that. All I know is that I don't have school tomorrow, and ive had my coffee, and im still bored. SO. ITS STORY TIME CHILDREN!

**What If…**

_Demyx got a puppy, even though Xemnas said no?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Link-chan))_

Zexion sighed contentedly as he walked down the hall slowly. _Finished for the day,_ he thought as he smiled softly to himself. _Nothing but peace, quiet, and a good book._

Right on cue, he heard a resounding crash as he walked past Demyx's room. He stopped and stared at the door for a while. _No, I will not investigate, I have a book calling me…_He argued with himself for a few more minutes before he sighed. _Please let it be that he just tripped over his television again…_He braced himself and opened the door hesitantly.

"…Demyx? Are you oka-What the?!_"_ Zexion exclaimed as a little black fuzzball attacked him. He stumbled backwards out into the hall, holding the little ball of black…fur?

"_Zexion no!_ Oh hi Zexy," Demyx said in passing as he dragged him into his bedroom and locked the door.

Zexion blinked. "What are you talking abo-" he started as the little ball of blackness in his arms fidgeted, grinning up at him. "…This isn't the dog you found in Twilight Town is it, Demyx?"

Demyx flinched. "I-I didn't know what to do with him…"

"The Superior gave you an order to get rid of it!" Zexion exclaimed as he let go of the ball, and it fell to the floor and wagged its tail at him. He glared at it.

"I couldn't just leave him!" Demyx challenged.

"Number IX…"

Demyx winced. Still, he persisted. "He'll die if I take him back there!"

Zexion was unaffected. "There is no way you can hide this…_thing_…for very long."

Demyx smiled. "I can if you helped me Zexy."

Zexion stepped back. "Oh no, I am not helping you do anything. This is _your_ problem, not mine," he looked at the dog warily as it started to bark up at Demyx.

Demyx picked him up, smiling innocently. "Oh come on, Zexy. You cannot look at Zexion's cute little face and tell him that he is not cute. It's impossible."

"Yes I ca-wait, Zexion? You named the dog Zexion?"

"Of course I did! It fits!"

Zexion examined Zexion closely. Zexion fidgeted in Demyx's embrace to go nose to nose with Zexion. Zexion looked at him cross-eyed. He was a little black terrier full of energy. Totally unlike him.

"I do not approve," Zexion said, sticking up his nose.

Demyx sighed, sitting on the bed. "You won't help me, Number VI?"

Zexion twitched slightly. Demyx only called him by his number whenever he was depressed or when he was horny. And it was definitely not the latter at the moment. Zexion sighed in defeat. "Well…it _is_ kind of cute," he said, sitting on the bed next to Demyx and hesitantly petting the dog in his lap. It barked and crawled over to Zexion, licking his hand. Demyx squealed, hugging Zexion sideways.

"You don't have to do much! You just have to keep up the illusion around the others that I don't have a dog!" Zexion raised an eyebrow.

"You know," he said, thinking, "It's so simple it actually might work. You just have to control…Zexion…around the others alright?"

"Not a problem."

----------((Of course it actually will be a problem XD))------------

_Not a problem indeed, _Zexion thought darkly as he followed Demyx and Hidden!Zexion from a distance to dinner. Spending his free time following Demyx and a hyper dog around all day was not in his plans. It was also getting harder and harder to keep the dog a secret. It was almost impossible to convince Vexen that his latest experiment fell from his lab table of its own volition. Zexion continued to grumble as he walked down to dinner. _Who knows what else could happen…_

As dinner began, Zexion realized how hard it was to multitask and keep up a steady illusion. Conversing, eating, and masking the movements of a little terror through the Organization members' legs as a strong breeze from nowhere was not easy.

As Zexion nodded along to whatever Lexaeus was commenting about, he noticed that there was quite a commotion coming from Demyx's part of the table. Demyx could not stop giggling.

"Zexion, stop that you little animal," Demyx muttered quietly, chuckling. Unfortunately, it was said at one of those moments of quiet in between conversations, and everyone heard him crystal clear. Zexion groaned inwardly as Axel choked on his lasagna. Roxas thumped him on the back as he resumed breathing. The Superior raised an eyebrow.

"Is _that_ what I feel going on under the table?" Axel commented, snickering. Zexion found it harder and harder to focus as everyone began to start questioning Demyx all at once.

Suddenly, Zexion strutted over to where Zexion was sitting, and nipped him sharply on the leg. Zexion cried out, and lost his control of the disguise. As if on cue, the dog appeared from below the table, leaping up from the floor to Zexion's lap to the table. He ran along the table, eluding all of those who tried to catch him as he knocked over every tray in his path. He leapt off the table and right onto the Superior, who caught him by the scruff of the neck.

"Number IX."

"..Yes?"

"You have three seconds to get this dog out of the castle. Three," he began as Demyx scrambled out of his chair and towards The Superior. He had him in his arms and out through a portal as The Superior finished saying 'two.' Zexion was silent and finished his dinner quickly, walking down the hall, and exiting through a portal to find Demyx.

----------((Dun dun DUN))----------

Zexion found him in Twilight Town, sitting forlornly on the steps at the station with Zexion running around near him. Demyx looked up at Zexion as he approached, lip trembling slightly.

"What should I do with him Zexion? I don't know what to do…"

Zexion sat next to him, only barely restraining an 'I told you so.' "We can find him a good home here," he stated as he got up and held his hand out for Demyx. Demyx picked up Zexion and let himself be pulled off the steps.

-----------((walking))--------

Demyx hugged Zexion as Zexion put a box down on a doorstep. After careful monitoring of the citizens of Twilight Town, Zexion decided that this family was most likely to accept the dog into their home. Demyx gently laid Zexion in the box, knocked on the door, and summoned a portal. He walked in, and Zexion followed him.

Arriving in Demyx's bedroom, Demyx fell straight on the bed.

"See? That wasn't so bad was it," Zexion said, sitting next to his prone form.

Demyx sighed and sat up. "I'm going to miss him," he said dejectedly.

Zexion loosely put an arm around Demyx's shoulders. "You still have me," he pointed out, cheeks pinking slightly.

Demyx smiled and leaned into him. "Can I call you my little puppy?"

Zexion chuckled. "We'll see Demyx. We'll see."

-------------------

WHEEE! That was fun. Right now I have like. enough what ifs for 33 chapters. Keep it up lovelies! Each one is a new adventure!

::pulls out the list:: Up next is Cleon! Woo!

And. I had an idea! Once in a while, I might ask a question for the reviews. Because I'm curious. 8D

So. My darlings, what is your favorite story so far? Easy one.

R and R dears!

freaky-hanyou


	18. The Elevator: Cleon

Ohhhmygod. ::falls over:: Holy business. Not only was last week homecoming, and the week before that I don't even remember, and I have had work out the monkey, and OHMAN THE INDIANS THAT'S WHAT BEEN GOING DOWN. ::confetti:: So. I wrote this DURING school. As in DURING English (we spend 15 minutes writing and im like. I am writing this) but what really sucks is I _had_ an idea for this. I know I did. but I can't recall. so I thought of another one. 8D And I spend two study halls on it. So. Darnit this story will never be stopped! I am always going to update. ::loves::

hmmmm "talk" _think _((mee))

…I will type faster than the speed of God to get this out before work and THE INDIANS! WOO! ((apologies in advance for typos))

**What If…**

_Leon and Cloud get locked in an elevator together but no one's_

_around to rescue them until the next day?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Keiko Tenyoku))_

Leon continued to chuckle as he walked into the elevator, a sopping wet Cloud behind him.

"I cannot believe that you pushed me into the fountain in the lobby over a silly little sports argument." Leon chuckled darkly.

"I did not push you, you slipped in by yourself. Don't blame your clumsiness on my love for baseball."

"I still don't see why you love that sport so much," Cloud said as he hit the button leading to the basement spar room in their apartment complex, "It is a rather pointless sport."

"Don't call baseball pointless!" Leon snapped, about to start a heated argument, but Cloud cut him off.

"Hold on, someone wants to get in the elevator," he said as 'Hold the elevator!' was heard a few feet away.

Leon snorted and hit the 'Close Door' button. "Just because you don't want to be alone with your sports-loving boyfriend doesn't mean that I have to endure-"

A screeching noise was heard as the elevator stopped its descent abruptly, sending a sopping wet Cloud across the five foot expanse of elevator into Leon. Leon held onto him by reflex, clearly surprised. "What the-?" Leon started as the lights flickered and died.

"Of course now is the moment for karma to bite you in the ass," Cloud said dryly. Leon blinked, shoving Cloud away.

"Do you seriously think I meant for this to happen?!" he started, clearly at the end of his rope and ready to bicker about anything at all. Cloud ignored him as he hit the help button on the elevator panel. There was no reply or any signal. Leon sighed exasperatedly and leaned against the side of the wall, sliding down to sit against it.

"Oh, so now you're going into sulking mode," Cloud stated, sitting across from him and crossing his arms.

"I am _not_ sulking," Leon said lamely as silence fell over the two.

A few minutes passed. Luckily for Leon, he had his sports bag with him, in which he kept a book, a flashlight, and a store of snacks in. Cloud glared at him as he finished counting the buttons on the vast elevator panel, although they had numbers plainly written on them. Leon smirked at the irritated Cloud and returned to his book of fighting tactics and sparring moves.

Cloud fidgeted. He was still sopping wet after all, and being in an air conditioned elevator was not helping. Glancing across at Leon, who was still engrossed in his book, he faked a long groan and tugged off his shirt, stretching. Leon's eyebrows rose, but he continued to focus on his book.

Cloud sighed. _I guess I'll just have to use drastic measures to get Leon's attention back._

Leon heard a faint jingling noise and looked up. His eyes widened as he watched Cloud pull of his pants. "What the hell are you doing?" Leon whispered urgently, looking around in the empty elevator as if someone would see.

"I'm cold," Cloud said, "after all, I am soaking wet you know." He glared as Leon as he stretched out on his back on the tiled floor. Leon failed to stifle a small groan. Cloud quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he asked, his grin betraying the mock-concern in his voice.

"Nothing," Leon said quickly, "I'm just…claustrophobic."

"_Really?"_ Cloud questioned incredulously, still grinning. He rolled over onto his stomach and crawled closer to Leon, who tried in vain to sink into the wall. "Would you like help picturing those _wide open spaces?"_ he whispered devilishly, leaning half over the pinned Leon.

"No…I'm fine," Leon said, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry I pushed you into the fountain," he whispered, inches away from Cloud's lips.

"I'm sorry I said baseball was pointless," Cloud whispered back.

"So does that mean you'll stop trying to do a strip tease during the seventh inning stretch?"

Cloud grinned again. "Not a chance," he whispered, sealing his lips over Leon's.

At that precise moment, the elevator door was pried open and a high beam flashlight poked through the space. "I am so sorry but the elevator might be stuck like this until tomorr-_Oh!"_ the technician exclaimed, seeing the two making out against the side of the wall. "I guess you're going to be alright then," he said quietly to himself, letting the door slide shut.

----------

Dude. That was crazy short. I wish I could remember my other idea. TT BUT ANYWAY I TOTALLY MADE IT BEFORE WORK ((baseball theme is totally my bad XP)) BUT YES LOVE TO ALL YES YES AND UM that question thing worked very well so.

Favorite last line of a story!

freaky-hanyou


	19. The Letter: Zemyx

Gyaah. Alright. So I neglected to mention another problem about that last Cleon: _The Master List_ is MISSING. And I cannot find it to save my life. So. I made Master List Jr, and all is well. But yeah I am not expecting a High Score on reviews for that one (Current High Score10) But the hit count is reaching the same as my other multi-chaptered thingeh, and its allllmooost as high. SO MY LOVELIES. I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE. ::grumbles about the Indians:: Well. Now I have a liiiitle more time. But the play is starting, so my updations wont be as timed. XD I shall try. LOVEYOUALLeee.

"talk" _think_ ((mee))

**What If…**

_Zexion found a note written to him in one of his books from Demyx,_

_even if Demyx didn't want him to find it?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Rolliepollie44 AKA Zestychicken2))_

Zexion sighed in relief as he shut the door quietly in the library. _Phew,_ he thought. _I really need to take a break from that assignment. I can't believe Demyx is actually leaving me alone to work on it. He must actually be laying off the Pixie Stix like I asked…_Zexion shook his head, grinning to himself as he searched the shelves for his book he had hidden away. He checked to make sure no one was watching and pulled _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ from the shelf.

_I'd never hear the end of it if anyone found out I was reading this…_ Sighing in relief, he sat down in his favorite comfy chair and opened to his page. He was surprised, however, when a note addressed to himself fell out of the book.

"What's this?" he wondered quietly, and began to read it.

----------((cue the flashback))-------

Demyx sighed inwardly as he tried in vain to distract Zexion from his research yet again. "Pleease Zexy?"

"No."

"You won't die if you leave your room for five minutes you know…"

"I am fully aware, Demyx, I just prefer to finish all of my work before I get distracted," he said offhandedly, turning pages in a thickly bound book on hearts. "Now if you don't mind…"

"But—"

"_Number IX,_ I'd really like to get this done," he said sharply, but hastily regretted using the formal title when he saw Demyx's hurt look. "I promise I'll come find you when I'm finished," he said quietly.

Demyx visibly brightened and gave Zexion a light hug around the shoulders. "I'll close the door behind me," he whispered in his ear. Zexion shivered slightly as he heard the door shut quietly. He turned around and stared at it for a minute. Then he turned around and set back to work.

After a few minutes of staring at his paper, Zexion sighed. _Dammit, I'm never going to be able to get any work done now…_ Almost on cue, Zexion heard the door open. "_Number-"_

"I'm innocent I swear!" Demyx said, cutting him off. "I just brought you something to drink," he said, laying a harmless bottle of water on the desk and leaving without another word.

Zexion stared at the bottle as if it offended him. He growled and picked it up, sipping it in frustration. _Now I'm _really _not going to get any work done,_ he thought darkly, turning back to his paper again.

--------((now I _wonder_ what Demyx is up to))---------

Demyx walked down the hall, lost in thought. _Now, how will I pass the time…_he wondered, walking by Axel's room. He stood outside the door, pondering for a moment whether he should knock or not. _Either him and Roxas are a.) planning a new prank or b.) fucking like bunnies,_ he thought casually, knocking on the door. He heard a squabble inside, and the door was opened a crack as Axel poked an eye out.

"Oh _Demyx,_ it's just you," Axel said in relief as he opened the door a little wider. Demyx barely stifled laughter as he saw a nearly-nude Roxas fall onto the bed in relief in the background. Pretending he didn't notice, he tried to sober and looked back at Axel, who was grinning at him sheepishly.

"Hey Dem, you wouldn't mind if—"

"Say no more, I'm gone!" Demyx said cheerily, running down the hall, laughing.

-------------------

Demyx quietly entered the library, shutting the door behind him. _There has to be some kind of appeal to this place if Zexion keeps coming here…_He walked around for a while, examining the books on the shelves. After walking for a while, he found a desk overlooking the dark outdoors with a feather pen and paper on top. Intrigued, he sat down in front of the desk. _This would be an excellent view if there was sun in the World that Never Was…_He sat there lost in thought for a while until he decide to write something. There was only one person on his mind at the moment.

_Dearest Zexy, _

_I feel like such an idiot writing this, but since you are writing your research paper (again) I felt that maybe I should come to the library. I thought it would make me feel how I do when I'm around you. I know I know, I bet if I told you that you'd be all "What a stupid idea Number IX," and go back to writing. What can I say, I try._

_But anyway, I really wish you weren't so work-oriented all the time. We are practically polar opposites. It feels as if there is no way for us to have anything together. But, ignoring the whole we-don't-have-hearts-and-can't-feel business, I can't help but feel _something _when I'm near you. Once again, I can see you saying "Don't be an idiot, Number IX," and ignoring me. But I know you care. Right? _

_I'm rambling. It seems like that's all I do around you. I can't help it. You make me speechless. _

_I guess I'll be seeing you,_

_Demyx_

Demyx looked over his impromptu letter and snickered lightly. _What a load of bull,_ he thought darkly, _it just _screams _ANGST to me…_ Suddenly, he heard the door opening in the library. Panicking, he folded up his letter and ran down an aisle, looking for a book that Zexion would _never_ read. He picked up _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,_ and stuck his letter into it.

"If he reads that book _ever,_ I'll dress as a woman," he said offhandedly to himself, and stuffed the book back on the shelf. He heard someone nearing the aisle he was in, and quickly headed for the other side of the library.

From his hidden perch in an aisle by the sitting area, he saw as Zexion settled down to read a book. To his horror, he had _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ in his hand.

_Oh. Shit._

----------((TO PRESENT!))------------

Zexion's eyes widened as he read over the letter Demyx unknowingly wrote to him in his book. _There is no way he could have known I'm reading this…_he thought uncertainly, continuing to read. _Do I really act that cold around him? _He thought for a minute. _I guess I am a little work oriented…_he sat in thought, mind nowhere near Harry Potter.

Meanwhile, Demyx watched Zexion's every move from his hidden spot in the aisle. He watched in horror as Zexion's eyes widened as he continued to read. _If only I could get to the door I could get out of here…He'll know it was me if I use a portal…I'm surprised he hasn't smelled me already. _Sneaking out of the aisle, he managed to get to the aisles near the door on the other side of the room at the exact moment that Zexion walked over to the aisles to place _Harry Potter_ back on the shelf. Both stared at each other, speechless.

"Zexion, I'm sorry, I—"

Demyx was cut off as Zexion moved forward to embrace Demyx, _Harry Potter_ falling to the ground. Demyx was still, stunned, as Zexion pulled him closer.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," he whispered into Demyx's ear. "I didn't realize how much time I spent on my work…And all those times I've yelled at you for interrupting me…Am I really that cold Demyx? I know I am sometimes, but _all_ the time?"

Demyx was in shock. He had never heard Zexion sound so uncertain before. He reached up and patted Zexion's shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way. "I'm really sorry Zexion, I shouldn't have said all that…"

"Answer the question, Num-Demyx."

Demyx smiled to himself, realizing that Zexion was trying _really_ hard to be nice to him. "Well, you're only cold when you're focused on something, which is good because you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. I'm the one who should focus more," he said quietly.

"Nonsense," Zexion said, chuckling, "you being focused has to be a sign of the Apocalypse." Demyx stuttered, smacking him.

Zexion pulled him closer again. "You know I care, right?" He whispered quietly. Demyx almost didn't hear him.

"Of course I do Zexy," he whispered back, pulling him in for a quick kiss. Zexion wouldn't let him pull away so quickly however, and pushed him against the nearest row of books. Demyx groaned and fisted Zexion's hair, kissing him back. Pulling away, breathless, Demyx grinned.

"I can't believe you were reading Harry Potter."

Zexion blushed.

-----------------------------

THERE WE GO. LONG STORY! WHEEEEE! I don't know why, but although AkuRoku is my KH OTP, I have an easier time filling out Zemyx stories. Hmmm. Odd indeed. BUT! I WOULD LOVE IT IF THIS ONE BEAT MY HIGH SCORE.

::consults Master List Jr:: It seems theres a mini stint of Zemyx, then it becomes varied. Wo0t!

Question of fun: Favorite fluffy moment!

And by the way. Harry PotterLOVE. XD

LOVE TO ALL!

freaky-hanyou


	20. The Story: Zemyx

Eeeee. Oh how I love you so my reviewers. Its even sweeter, since usually the same people review, so I notice when some are missing and it makes me so happy when new ones review. ::glows:: but YES because and only because a few peeps suggested it, because of this demyx dressing as a feme will be added to the list. Itll be long in coming but its made it to the list. XD

Speaking of the list. Alright now this is going to sound really sad. BUT due to the massive amounts of massive, I'm asking that folk start suggesting ones for Christmas. Because there's a chance I could make it to them on time. Seriously, I have a Halloween one what is 8ish suggestions away. And its humanly impossible to get to it. SO. CHRISTMAS. XD

I love you all. : - ) And by the by. Hyper Kid. You are amazing. I look in my inbox and see a wall of reviews. I almost fell over. XD

AND the book in this story? Yeah, don't own it...well i _do,_ but i didn't write it. XD

"talk" _think_ ((mee))

…((this might be kinda short cuz its one in the morning XD))

**What If…**

_Demyx asked Zexion to read him a story?_

_((as suggested by the lovely CatrionaHearts))_

Zexion smiled faintly, for once not working on a research paper. _Ah…for once I get to relax,_ he thought contentedly, sprawled boxer-clad out on his bed. _I can even sleep later…_ He rolled over and sighed in contentment. _There are few things that can ruin my day-_

He paused as he heard a knock on his door.

_That being one of them._

"_Yes, _Demyx?" He asked loudly to the door, already knowing who it was.

"I'm sorry I'm interrupting your day off Zexy!" Demyx said through the door. "But can I come in? I need help with something…"

Zexion stared off at a random space on the wall, thinking. _Hmmm…what could he need help with? Damned curiosity._ "Come on in, Demyx."

Demyx quietly walked through the door, a book in his hand. He paused, staring at the boxer-clad Zexion on his bed. _Woah,_ he thought, admiring Zexion's lean frame as he laid on his side, propped on an elbow. Demyx let his eyes wander down his firm chest down to his flat abdomen before Zexion raised his eyebrows.

Pinking, Demyx cleared his throat and asked, "Would you mind reading this to me?"

Zexion sat up, curious. "Why? You've never liked reading before…" Inwardly, he smirked. He did not miss Demyx's impromptu perusal of his physique.

"I know. I don't have the attention span to read anything. But I figured I might if you read it to me. That way I wouldn't be distracted."

"Are you sure _I_ wouldn't distract you?" Zexion asked devilishly, shamelessly flirting. Demyx pinked again.

"Well, I haven't thought that far ahead yet. One step at a time!" he grinned. "Will you read it to me?" he asked, sitting down beside Zexion on the bed.

"Why not." Demyx handed him the book. Zexion's eyes widened as he looked at the cover. He pinked faintly as he turned it over and read the back of it.

"Demyx?"

"Hmmm?" Demyx said, who was not paying attention to Zexion's perusal of the book and was focusing more on the view of the bedroom.

"You do know what this book _is_ right?"

"Umm…one that is read?"

"It's called The Vampire Who Loved Me, Demyx."

"So? What's wrong with that?"

"It's a _romance_ novel. Do you know what that is?"

"A book with romance in it? Come on Zexion," Demyx said, eyes rolling, "Just read it to me already."

Zexion sighed, opening the book. _We'll get to it sooner or later… _Turning to the first page, he began, "London, 1826. It was a lovely night to die…"

-------((::hits fast forward button:: ))----

Every night after dinner, Demyx would ignore Axel's catcalls of '_Of _course_ you're reading to each other!'_ and follow Zexion to his room, where they would spend a few hours reading from _The Vampire Who Loved Me._ They had gotten almost halfway through the book, and Demyx had yet to comment on the _nature_ of the text.

"…But she knew before he spoke that it wasn't her throat he wanted," Zexion continued to read as he and Demyx lay on his bed, "'Kiss me.' His words were little more than the echo of a whisper in her mind, but she could no more resist them than the tide could resist the inexorable tug of the moon." Zexion stopped and looked up. "Are you sure you want me to read this, Demyx?"

Demyx shushed him and told him to continue. Zexion sighed and continued reading. _It can't be…could Demyx be straight?_

-----------((cackles))-------

A few more nights passed. Zexion continued dutifully reading a few chapters a night of the romance novel to Demyx.

"'And a woman as beautiful as you deserves to be seduced at least three times a night, perhaps more often.' As that clever mouth of his worked its way from the corner of her mouth to the curve of her jaw to the tiny pulse that beat at the base of her throat, she closed her eyes and breathed out a shaky sigh. She had never dreamed that she would be so thankful he was a nocturnal creature."

Zexion looked up briefly to see that Demyx was completely absorbed in the tale. Holding back a sigh, he continued, "As his lips grazed her throat, a shudder wracked his powerful body. But he held it in check, nuzzling the sensitive shell of her ear and filling his hands--" He stopped abruptly.

"Hey!"

"Why am I reading this to you Demyx?"

"I _told_ you why Zexy—"

"That's not what I meant."

Demyx stopped stuttering abruptly. "Well….promise you won't be angry at me."

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "I promise."

"I wanted to see why people found it so interesting."

Zexion laughed. He simply couldn't hold it in. Demyx looked offended. "Hey! There's nothing funny about it!"

Zexion still chuckled. "And all this time I thought you were straight…" Demyx looked appalled.

"Seriously Zexy! Have you not been paying attention to be at all?" he questioned, waggling his eyebrows.

Zexion put the book down on his nightstand. _It still seems like he's hiding something…_ "That isn't the only reason, is it?"

Demyx stared at Zexion, surprised. _Damn, he reads me better than the book! _"…No."

"What's the other one?"

"Promise you won't laugh."

"I'll try."

Demyx glared at him, mumbling something incoherently.

"Come again?" Zexion inquired.

"I wanted to pick up some tips." Zexion spluttered.

"_Tips?_ Oh come now Demyx, you don't need to read _romance novels_ to get tips!" he said.

Demyx looked confused. "I don't?"

Zexion grinned, rolling to pin Demyx to the bed. "Of course not. We could always just…_experiment,_ don't you think?" he whispered, closing in for a kiss.

Demyx grinned and pulled him closer briefly before pulling away. "Should we 'read' a couple more chapters tonight?"

"Why Demyx, I thought you'd never ask…" Zexion said, closing in for another kiss.

Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing Axel with Roxas in tow. "_See?!_ I _told_ you they weren't reading!" Roxas sighed, handing Axel 5 munny over to Axel.

---------------

::chuckles:: OH man. The end was totally unplanned. XD LOVE TO ALL its really late now so. SLEEP.

R AND R PWEASE.

freaky-hanyou


	21. The Penname: Zemyx

Alright so seriously. I wanted to like, skip along a few What Ifs so I can have a Halloween special, but that isn't cool to the ones id be skipping. SO I didn't. Besides…I know id be stalling so I wouldn't have to think about this crazy one. This one is an amazing suggestion and its going to be _interesting_ to write.

Craziness. AND DON'T MAKE FUN OF THE NAMES in the story. I'll explain at the end. XP

I was _hoping_ to have 100, but ah well. I know you all love me. 8D

By the by. The story used last chapter? Totally real. Its called the Vampire Who Loved Me by Teresa Medeiros. Excellent book. Tried to keep out the bad parts. XD

Onward!

"talk" _think AND book entries_ ((mee))

This one's a doozy…

**What If…**

_Zexion, using a pen name no one knew about, had written a very popular book/story_

_about how he fell in love with Demyx, but he used different names for everyone_

_and someone found out and made Zexion perform favors _

_and odd things or he/she'd tell Demyx?_

_((as suggested by the lovely NoirCat))_

_He called me Iggy._

_He was just returning from his first quest of the year when he came up to me in the cafeteria. I was hard at work at my analysis of the human body when he interrupted me none-so-gracefully with:_

"_Whatcha doin?"_

_I snarled an unintelligible answer, hoping he would go away. Of course he was unable to take a hint. I swear he must be taking lessons from Boone and Chavez when it comes to annoyance. _

_He poked me. "Hey. Heeey Iggy-"_

"_My name is Ignacio. Do not call me…Iggy.' Its unbecoming."_

_Mind you I am proud of my name. It is a strong, Spanish name. Even when I got made fun of in grade school, I never let _anyone_ call me…Iggy._

"_Come on Iggy, lighten up! You need to take a step back from all of this "analysis" bullshit and take a break!"_

_I sighed and left the cafeteria._

_I guess that was the first moment that he caught my eye. He's so persistent. All that morning he followed me around, trying to make me leave The Realm and go visit the other domains with him. As if I'd want to go to Sunrise Sity (they spell it wrong!) for a snow cone._

_But he never wavered. And he always called me Iggy._

-----------

Zexion grinned to himself as he walked to breakfast. _My book is selling wonderfully in Twilight Town,_ he thought as he sat down for breakfast, _I'll make some extra money, and there's no possible way that it will appear in—_

"Hey guys! Look what I found in Twilight Town!" Axel said, appearing with Roxas through a portal and sitting down. "It's called _Affections_! It's a really good book!"

No one even blinked at him. Vexen looked up from his breakfast momentarily. "Can you even_read_ Axel…?"

Axel started, offended. "Of course I can read!" he said defensively, "And I happen to know that every single one of you would like this book!"

Zexion shifted uncomfortably. Vexen sighed. "If you clean my labs today, I'll read your stupid book."

Axel grinned. "Deal." Zexion resisted the urge to faceplant into his eggs.

----------

_I saw him the next morning at breakfast. He tried to sit in Letter E's spot next to mine. I pushed him out of it, snarling. I was not a morning person, especially around this character._

"_Letter I. I would appreciate it if you would sit in your area further down the table."_

"_Call me Jax, Iggy. Or Jaxith if you _must_ but I'd prefer Jax." He grinned and I pushed him down the table where Boone was flicking his eggs into Chavez's hair._

_Ethan sat down two seats from me and sighed. "The lower letters are getting more and more juvenile," he muttered to no one in particular. Being closest to him, I pretended to listen. "Just the other day I saw Letters H and M messing with my gravitational analysis assignment…I was never able to recover those specimens," he lamented._

_I sighed and turned to my breakfast. It was quite difficult to talk with Ethan if we weren't studying the same things._

_Taking the risk, I looked down the table at Letter I. He was conversing with Letter H about something. He saw me and smiled. I looked over at my breakfast, slightly pink._

_Why am I acting this way?_

_--------------------_

The next morning, Vexen was smiling as he handed the book back to Axel. "That was a surprisingly interesting book," he said, "I actually enjoyed it. Especially that Ethan character…he seems to be a very misunderstood genius."

Axel looked at him skeptically. "He's a psychopathic physicist."

"Exactly. Superior?" Xemnas looked up from his pancakes. "I think you should read this. It really does have some merit." Xemnas nodded deftly and held out his hand for the book. Zexion began to choke on his bacon and Lexaeus thumped him on the back.

--------------------

_The Captain summoned me to his office for a new quest today. I was to go out into a new domain with Letter I._

"_But Captain-"_

"_No protesting. This is the quest I have given you. You have been doing too many analytical papers for your own good. You need to get out. Letter I will assist you. End of discussion."_

_I left the Captains office, resigned to find Letter I. I found him in his practice area. _

"_Come on," I muttered, opening a window. "I'm assigned with _you_ today, so let's get this over with."_

_He looked slightly hurt as he silently went through the window. _

_As we fought together in the Royal Hall in the Land of Monsters, he seemed to be depressed. I debated about confronting him when he spoke._

"_Do you hate me Iggy?"_

_I continued to fight silently. "I don't see any reason to like or hate you," I said finally._

"_Would you give me a chance to give you reasons to like me?" he said slowly._

_I didn't respond. He seemed to take this as a 'yes' and fought with renewed vigor._

_-------------_

"This book indeed does have merit," The Superior said, handing the book back to Axel. "Well done Number VIII. I encourage all of you to read it."

Zexion twitched. Axel grinned. "Come on Roxy! You read it next!"

Roxas sighed and took the book from him.

----------------

_I sighed happily as I walked toward my room from the library. I had not seen or heard from Letter I at all. I was about to start skipping down the hall when I turned a corner and he plowed right into me, knocking me over._

_He stuttered as he fell on top of me, slightly pink in the face. "I'm sorry Iggy! I-"_

"_It's alright…Jaxith," I said, pushing him off gently and standing up, turning to go back down the hall again._

"_Wait!" he said, standing up. "I don't think you want to go down that hallway!" _

_I ignored him and continued to walk down the hallway. Soon I stopped dead in my tracks. Letters H and M were making out against the wall. Letter H had M pinned against the wall, whose hands were fisted in H's fiery red hair. I turned around deftly to see Jaxith grinning at me._

"_I tried to warn you that Boone and Chavez were making out."_

_I snorted, turned back around, and walked down the hall, smacking Letter H over the head as I walked by._

_------------------_

"That was actually pretty good," Roxas said as he handed the book back to Axel at breakfast. "Boone seems like a pretty _interesting_ character," he mused aloud.

Axel grinned devilishly. "I can be _interesting_ too you know,"

Roxas winked at him, then blushed when he realized the others were staring at him. He cleared his throat. "Demyx, do you want to read it next?"

"I think I should read it first," Zexion suddenly cut in.

Marluxia looked up from his conversation with Larxene. "Actually, I was kind of hoping I would get to read it next," Marluxia stated.

Axel smiled. "Marly's closer to _us_," he said. "He gets it next!"

------------

_I woke up the next morning sneezing. Looking over at my nightstand, I see a bouquet of flowers with a card from Jaxith. It seems to be an invitation to breakfast, even though I already go down there every morning. I roll over in bed, sneezing._

_I groggily get dressed and walk down the hallway, where Jaxith is waiting. He smiled until I sneezed. He put a hand over my shoulder, concerned._

"_Maybe you shouldn't come down to breakfast today," he said._

_I snorted. "I'm allergic to flowers, you know." Jaxith winced. "Especially the ones that Florian grows. However he does it, it drives my sinuses insane."_

"_I'm sorry," Jaxith said. "You go take a nap in my room and I'll bring you up breakfast." I only protested mildly as he dragged me down the hall._

_He's become the most interesting person in The Realm to me. _

_I laid down on his bed as he shut the door quietly. I turned over and took in the scent on his pillow. It seemed only a few moments later that he reappeared with breakfast. I looked up at him groggily._

"_Sorry to wake you up," he said quietly. "I think you should eat this first."_

"_Thanks…Jax."_

_-----------_

Marluxia stopped reading, intruigued. _The events in this…Affections seem to similar to here…_ He looked at the cover.

"By Lounilis," he read aloud. "I must admit that this Florian sounds exactly like myself. And Zexion as never been able to tolerate my flowers…This could be why he was so adamant about Demyx not reading the book…I wonder…"

He spelled out L O U N I L I S on a piece of paper. After working for a few minutes on it, he discovered it was actually an anagram for _Illusion._

"I knew it," he said. "Dear Iggy is in for it now…"

------------------

Marluxia waited outside of Zexion's door the next morning. Soon, he emerged and began to walk down to breakfast. "Why, good morning Zexion!" Zexion turned around as Marluxia put an arm around his shoulder and whispered quietly. "Or should I call you _Iggy?"_ Zexion gasped and ducked out from Marluxia's arm.

"Come _on_ did you really think it was that hard to figure out? I know for a fact you're allergic to my flowers," he said. Zexion looked around in the hallway, making sure no one was there.

"What do you want." he ground out.

"What? Are you that set on no one finding out? Or do you just not want dear _Demyx_ finding out that you love him?"

Zexion flinched slightly. "_What do you want."_

Marluxia smiled darkly. "Oh, only a few things…" He whispered, holding up two boxes and pulling Zexion away to the bathroom.

----------------

Marluxia whistled happily as he walked down to breakfast. Entering the cafeteria, he took his place next to Larxene and whispered to her, "Watch the door. You'll laugh your ass off."

Larxene raised an eyebrow and glanced toward the door.

Zexion walked into the cafeteria with measured steps. Demyx turned around in his seat, smiling. "There you are Zexy! I was getting worried you were…what_happened?"_

Zexion ground out a slow '_Good Morning Demyx'_ and continued walking down the table. Marluxia stuck out his foot and tripped him. Zexion, saying nothing, continued walking up toward his seat. He sat down as Axel and Roxas arrived at breakfast.

Axel burst into hysterical laughter. "Zexion. We all know you love your hair, but…why did you dye it _turquoise and fuschia?"_

Zexion twitched and said nothing. _Damned Marluxia…_The front of Zexion's hair was dark purplish red, while the rest of it was a bright and vibrant turquoise.

"So," Marluxia said, grinning maniacally, "Who wants to read this next? Larxene, I do believe you would find it _most _entertaining…"

-----------((flashback))----------

"Alright _Lounilis._ I'll make sure Demyx does not read this book if you dye your lovely hair these colors."

Zexion looked at him as if he just suggested he take a stroll down the hallway in his boxers. "This is…remarkably _tame _for you Marluxia."

"Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg my friend."

--------((end flashback))------------

Zexion growled as he walked back to his room after breakfast. _Damned Marluxia…He's going to make me look like an idiot until this is over…I should just tell Demyx…_ He shuddered. _He'll murder me…There's no way,_ he reasoned with himself as he opened the door to his room. _This will all blow over eventually and it'll all go back to normal. _

He opened his closet to grab a cloak for his next mission. His eyes widened as he realized that all of his robes had been dyed bright yellow. A piece of flowered stationery was attached to one.

_A prank for every person who has yet to read it!_

_Not including Demyx of course, but you have to behave and keep your mouth shut or he'll be next._

_Marluxia_

Zexion shook with rage as he pulled out a canary yellow cloak.

--------((one week later))--------

Zexion could barely manage the strength to walk down to breakfast. Not only was he wearing a bright yellow robe with multicolored hair, but, since at the time there were seven people left to read the book, he also had 7 new "additions" to his fashionable attire. He had purple platform boots, a gold necklace, lime green tinted sunglasses, a light up red beret, clip-on earrings, blue eye shadow, and a pink belt. Axel couldn't even attend breakfast without having a minor seizure.

The Superior raised an eyebrow as Zexion walked into the cafeteria.

"Number VI."

Zexion looked up at the head of the table. "Yes Superior?"

"Is there something you wish to tell us about why you're dressing so…flamboyantly?"

"No sir." Zexion ground out.

"Kindly return to normal in the next few days."

Zexion nodded and sat down to breakfast. Luxord handed the book back to Axel. "All of us have read it Axel; it's a very nice book."

"I haven't read it yet!" Demyx said stubbornly.

"I'm sorry Demyx, here you-"

Marluxia took the book out of Axel's hand. "Actually, I'd like to reread a certain chapter first."

Zexion let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Demyx started to protest, but Marluxia continued. "Aloud. It would be a bit of a teaser for you," he said, grinning evilly as he turned to the last chapter.

"_It is getting more and more difficult to keep away from Jax._

_I was sitting at a desk in the library working on my quest from The Captain when he came in and started to massage my shoulders._

"_You look tense," he whispered quietly into my ear. "Maybe you should take a break."_

_I shuddered slightly. "In a little bit, Jax. I really need to get this done."_

_He sighed and left the library. I exhaled loudly and slumped into the chair. 'I have to tell him', I muttered to myself, trying in vain to get back to my research paper,-"_

"That's enough." Demyx said, standing up soundlessly and leaving the cafeteria. Zexion hit Marluxia upside the head and chased after him.

Zexion, hindered by platform boots, made it to Demyx's room just as he slammed the door. He knocked quietly. "Demyx?"

"Go away."

"Can I explain?"

He opened the door soundlessly, and resumed picking out a tune on his sitar on his bed.

"Demyx, I'm—"

"Is this why you've been dressing like a lunatic all week? Because Marluxia has been blackmailing you? Have you been that afraid? You could have just let me read the book Zexion, I wouldn't have minded. But _no_,_everyone else in the Organization_ had to read it first!"

"I-"

"Hell, you didn't even have to write such a book _Lounilis!_ You could have just_talked_ to me! Dammit, Number VI, why didn't you just _talk_ to me!?" He dropped his sitar and collapsed on the bed behind him.

Zexion winced at the name, and pulled off the majority of his idiotic clothing, including the outlandish cloak. "I'm _sorry_ Demyx! I didn't think the book would get to The Castle, honest! I just..."

"What, Zexion? What. Don't be afraid to talk _now!"_

"I just needed to let out my feelings somehow. And I was…I was afraid." Demyx's harsh expression softened a little. "I was afraid you'd be angry at me, or you'd laugh at me, or something. This isn't something I couldn't research or figure out for myself, and it frightened me…"

"But why didn't you just let me read the book?"

"I didn't know what you'd think of it. I thought you'd react like you are now." He sighed and sat down in Demyx's computer chair. "I understand if you don't forgive me."

Demyx started to laugh at him. Zexion looked up at him, slightly hurt. Demyx stood up, and pulled Zexion into an embrace. "Silly Zexion," he whispered, "I'm just angry you didn't tell me first, let alone let me read your book."

"I'm sorry Demyx," he said, holding him closer. He shivered slightly. After all, he was the kind of Nobody that wore nothing but his boxers below his cloak.

Demyx smiled. "Can I read the book now at least?"

Zexion smiled back. "I'll give you an autographed copy."

Zexion, opting for minimal humiliation, took a portal to his bedroom and returned with a copy of _Affections._ "I'll stay here while you read it."

-----------((a few hours later))-------------

Demyx sighed and closed the book. Zexion looked over from his place on the computer chair, still in his boxers. "…Well?"

"…You named yourself Ignacio."

"….Shut up."

Demyx stood up and pulled Zexion close to him again. "Don't you have something you want to say to me?" he said, breathing slightly on Zexion's lips.

"I…I-"

"Oh come on, _Iggy,_ don't get cold feet now."

"I love you Demyx."

Demyx grinned. "That's better. Now why don't we add a more…_mature _chapter to this book of yours…?"

Zexion chuckled. "It'll make it a bestseller I'm sure," he said, and closed the gap between them.

---------------------------

Goddamn. Long. Ass. Story. I tried for in character, but it seems less amazing than the other Zemyx's. The word count totally blows the other ones away. Seriously THAT one was craziness. CRAZINESS I tell you. And if this one doesn't make a high score I don't know what will.

Alright names: Follow along.

The Castle is The Realm

The Superior: The Captain

Ienzo sounds Spanish to me. XP

Vexen: After many thesaurus huntings, i came up with Evan which led to Ethan!

Axel is like a car axle, which means, boom, Ergo. Boone.

Demyx was a bitch to figure out. I couldn't find any male version of any name meaning music or anything. So I stuck with kind, and Jax appeared. :-P

Marly is Florian. (Flower.)

AND

Roxas is Chavez. (means key XD)

Alright I wont be on for a few weeks. Meaning two. Because there's a play going down at school, and good old Stage Crew Chief/Production Stage Manager has to live there.

Send me love!

freaky-hanyou


	22. Handcuffs: Cleon

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! The play, stressful as it was, went surprisingly well. XD

But yeah I really wasn't going to update, but then I realized how ridiculously behind I am on What Ifs (this ones from a review on chapter 14) and I decided that I should write rather than read. Or both! Hee!

So if you want to send me a Turkey Day present, Do review. Eeee.

This might be a bit crazy because its nearly 1 in the morning. You hath been warned.

"Talk" _think_ ((moi))

**What If…**

_Yuffie 'accidentally' handcuffed Cloud and Leon together_

_and they couldn't find the keys?_

_((as suggested by the lovely tarutaruanimegal))_

"Well _you're _irresponsible!"

"Well _you_ should pull the stick out of your ass!"

Yuffie sighed as she watched Cloud fight with his boyfriend, Leon, for the fourth time that week. She shifted in her chair at the kitchen table, absentmindedly sipping her tea as Cloud threatened to throw the spaghetti at Leon. _I swear I might have to resort to drastic measures if I don't get to eat because of my over-reacting roommate…_ She continued to think dark thoughts as she watched her dinner get splattered over the floor. She twitched and stood up from the table as a new bout of fighting began over the mutilated dinner.

"Hey," Yuffie started, trying to cut in between them.

She was hastily ignored as Cloud stormed over to the fridge. "Look what you made me do! Now we have nothing to eat-"

"Guys…"

"If you would just relax once in a while then this wouldn't have happened-"

"Hello?"

"But _noo_ I have to make dinner for my stick-in-the-ass boyfriend because he won't go out-"

"_WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?"_

Cloud was silenced at Yuffie's outburst, only just realizing that she was indeed in the room.

"Now," she said calmly, "I am going to get Chinese food. You two better be civilized when I return or face the consequences."

She stormed out of the kitchen and out the door into the stormy weather, intent on making a pitstop before going to get food.

--------------------((break))--------------

As Yuffie stepped in the door with food, she realized that something was off. _It's quiet…_ she thought as she walked towards the kitchen. _Too quiet._

Sure enough, she walked into the kitchen to find that Leon and Cloud were having a decide-all Arm wrestling match while occasionally muttering insults at one another.

Yuffie let out a cry of frustration and set down the food angrily on the table. She pulled something out of her pocket as she walked over towards the two boys.

"Just give up, jackass-"

"Not on your life pretty boy."

"That's enough _boys."_ Yuffie said as she quickly whipped a pair of handcuffs over the two's linked hands. "Now. I am going to Aerith's house. If you two haven't kissed and made up by the time I get back I'm dropping the keys down the drain." She smiled cheerily as she grabbed her meal and strolled out the door.

It was silent for a total of three seconds before a whole new argument began.

"You _idiot! _If you hadn't made me throw the dinner this wouldn't have happened-"

"Well if _you_ weren't acting so childish then I wouldn't have pushed you to throw it! She's _your_ roommate-"

Cloud pulled his hand back angrily, effectively spreading Leon out across on the table. "Hey!" he said angrily, "we're still attached remember?!"

"Exactly." Cloud said viciously. "Let's try to eat, shall we?" He pulled Leon up roughly and dragged him over to the bags of food. He handed packages to Leon, and then dragged him back over to the table to eat.

Leon sat down to the right of Cloud wearily as Cloud began to tear into his Chinese food. "This isn't going to work," he said.

Cloud swallowed. "Why not?"

Leon raised his left hand, which was attached to Cloud's right. "I use chopsticks with my left hand."

Cloud snorted. "Well, I guess we'll have to try to work together then. I'll take a bite then you will. Alright?"

"Fine. But I go first."

"Quit being such a baby-"

"I'm hungry!"

Cloud sighed and resigned his right hand. "Go ahead and eat then."

Cloud was silent as he watched Leon eat. _He's really a good person when he's quiet…_Cloud thought, _why the hell can't he be civilized the rest of the day?_

When Leon was finished, Cloud ate the rest of his Chinese food and stood up. Leon started and stumbled from the sudden movement, being pulled up as well. Cloud smiled and began to run towards the dining room.

"Cloud, stop it!" Leon said, tripping and falling towards Cloud. Cloud spun around and caught Leon, falling clear through the screen door and out into the rain.

"Slick one." Leon said dryly, quickly getting soaked on top of Cloud.

"Oh get up already," Cloud growled as he let himself be dragged back into the house. He shut the main door of the patio and looked at the dripping wet Leon in front of him. "Well I guess we're going to have to change," he stated.

"…How?"

"I have no idea," Cloud said as he started to pull Leon upstairs.

-------------

"Haven't been up here in a while," Leon muttered as he walked into Cloud's room.

"That's because you've been acting like a jackass," Cloud retorted. "You don't get any until you apologize and start loosening up."

"Well you have to stop acting so reckless."

"How am I being reckless?"

"You drove my motorcycle into a tree."

"You had your hands over my eyes!"

"Stop. We're fighting again. Let's just figure out how to change?" Leon said, and Cloud sighed.

"Why not," he said as he walked towards his dresser. He pulled out some pajamas and laid them on the bed.

"Ladies first," Leon said.

"Then why aren't you stripping?" Cloud retorted. Leon snorted and tried to pull off his jeans anyway. Cloud's hand was dragged right along with Leons', accidentally brushing across certain parts of Leon. Leon hissed and Cloud apologized quickly.

"Your boxers are soaked too…" Cloud said quietly. The exchange was repeated quickly, albeit a little awkwardly, and Cloud sighed as Leon continued to try and fail to put on a new pair of boxers.

"Jeez," Cloud said, "you get flustered pretty easily don't you?"

"Stuff it Cloud."

"Fine, see if I help you get dressed."

"Maybe I don't want to." Leon said, yanking on the handcuffs to pull Cloud closer to him.

"You have to apologize first," Cloud replied, pulling away and grabbing a pair of boxers. After helping Leon pull them on, he tried to figure out how to get his shirt off.

"I don't think it's even humanly possible to get it off without cutting it," Cloud said.

"Its fine," Leon said offhandedly, "but you still need to change." Leon began to unbutton Cloud's jeans before Cloud flinched and stepped back quickly, pulling Leon with him.

"I can do it." He tried to continue unbuttoning his jeans, but he found that his hands were shaking. Leon smiled and pulled his hands away.

"I think you're the one who needs to relax," he said gently, helping Cloud change into a new pair of boxers.

Once they were both at least half changed, they sat down on the bed, looking off in different directions.

"So…" Leon started, looking over at Cloud. "How pissed do you think Yuffie would be if she comes back and finds that we haven't 'kissed and made up'?"

Cloud smiled. "I think she might castrate us."

Leon nodded. "So what do you say we just both admit that we've been acting like jackasses and start over?"

Cloud nodded. "I think it's a good place to begin," he said, offering his un-handcuffed hand. "Hi! I'm Cloud."

Leon smirked and tugged at the handcuffs, pulling Cloud down while simultaneously crawling over him. "And I'm Leon," he whispered into Cloud's ear. "I haven't had any good make-up sex in a few months, what do you say we start with some of that?"

Cloud smiled and folded his hands behind his head, effectively pinning Leon's hand and pulling him even closer. "I think that would be a great start."

-----------((Meanwhile…))----------

"So," Aerith said as she stood over the sink, "What's going to happened tomorrow when you tell the guys tomorrow that you _actually_ dropped the keys down the drain?"

Yuffie looked up briefly from running her head into the wall. "I think Cloud's going to need a new roommate."

-------------------------------

Yeah I don't think I'm very good at writing Cleons. I've never actually seen anything Final Fantasy (I know whats wrong with me!) So they always end up AU. Besides, I think I might have aged Yuffie a bit…::sigh::

Oh well. I'm tired and I tried. 8D

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

freaky-hanyou


	23. The Bike Rack: Soriku

I am so excited to write this one. You all have no idea. ::frolics:: But yeah. Reviewers are amazing. Just so you know. ::squees::

AND. If anybody is ACTUALLY following along with the Master List (Jr!). Demyx as a woman has been unofficially in the que for a while, but today it was officially what if-ed. SO I'm keeping it where it was in the line up but it will be credited to said person. So no one gets confuzzled. Eeee. I think I might have to speed up the pace if I want to get to the Christmas ones by Christmas. Damn.

Alright so. if I start doing 2 a days you have to PROMISE that you people will review both. Because I want to get to the Christmas ones during Christmas. 8D

SO HERE WE GO.

**What If…**

_Sora got his head stuck in a bike rack at night, and Riku_

_was the only one to help him get it out?_

_((as suggested by the lovely zestychicken2))_

Riku sighed contentedly as he walked with Sora through the quiet park. It was nearly midnight, and _technically_ they weren't supposed to be in the park after dusk, but Sora had eaten too much sugar and needed to find a way to work out his pent up energy.

"Riku…Riiiiiikuuuuu!"

Riku's eye twitched. _Why did I let him eat _eleven_ brownies…_he thought darkly. He barely restrained himself from smacking Sora when the younger brunette started to poke him in the side.

"_Yes, _Sora?"

"This is boring! I want to play a game!"

"What kind of game?" Riku asked plainly, playing along with the Hyper!Sora and his antics.

"I dunno…how about the Keyblade Masters and Organization 13!"

"…How do you play that?"

Sora slid and arm around Riku and pulled him close to whisper conspiratorially, "it's like cops and robbers but with cooler names. Let's play!" he said, pushing Riku away. "I'm Xemnas and you have to catch me!"

Riku smiled slightly. "Do you seriously want me to summon my weapon?"

Sora looked at him exasperatedly. "It's pretend, idiot!"

Riku chuckled darkly as he 'pretended' to ninja Sora to the ground and 'pretended' to smirk and straddle him triumphantly.

Sora pouted. "No fair."

Riku smiled dashingly. "So what do I do with my prisoner?"

Sora grinned. "You have to put me in prison!" Sora pushed Riku off and stood up, 'pretending' to be dragged off to the 'prison' also known as the bike rack.

Sora fell to the ground behind it. "Oh no! How will I _ever_ get out? It's too small to crawl through…or is it?" Sora said as he started to push his head through the bars.

Riku instantly sobered as he realized what Sora was doing. "Sora, I don't think that's a good id-"

"Oh stuff it Riku, I'm only pretending," Sora said absentmindedly as he pushed his head through the bars. "See? It doesn't work," he concluded, and tried to pull his head back. Failing, he tried again, but to no avail.

Riku squatted down by his trapped friend. "Congratulations. You _actually_ got your head stuck in a bike rack."

Sora's sugar high began to wear off considerably as he considered his situation. "Help me get out Riku!"

Riku quickly assessed the situation. "I'm calling the fire department," he concluded, striding over towards the pay phone.

"Wait!" Sora protested, "If you call them, we'll get in trouble for being in the park so late!"

Riku stopped and turned around, grinning maniacally. "I could always just get a chainsaw…" he said darkly, walking closer to Sora.

Sora looked frightened for a split-second, and then skeptical. "You wouldn't."

Riku laughed and fell to the ground next to Sora's head. "Of course I wouldn't. Now, what should I get to try to get you out?"

Sora thought for a minute. "Go to the store and get….butter! Get butter. That always works on the TV shows…"

Riku stood up. "You are paying me back for _everything_ we try tonight."

---------((one trip to the convenience store later))---------

"The only kind of butter they had was spray butter," Riku said, announcing his return.

Sora smiled when he saw Riku sit down next to him. "Oh man Riku, I am so glad you're back! It's actually kind of scary here at night…" he trailed off.

Riku rubbed Sora's head affectionately. "You'll be out soon. Now what should I do with this?"

Sora thought for a minute. "Spray it on the sides of my head. I think that'll work. Just don't get it in my ears!"

Riku held in his laughter as he sprayed _butter_ on the sides of Sora's head. _There is no way that this is going to work._

Sure enough, Sora started to pull his head back, and nothing happened. Sora slumped down, disappointed. A few seconds later, his head shot up with another idea. "I've got it!"

Riku looked over at him warily. "What now…?"

"Reach into my back pocket."

Riku started momentarily, but quickly pulled out whatever Sora wanted that was in his back pocket. He almost fell over onto the pavement when he realized that he was holding a bottle of KY Warming Lubricant in his hand.

"Sora…why in the world do you have this?"

Sora looked at the ground. "You know, for emergencies?"

Riku snickered. "And you think this is going to do the trick?" Sora nodded, and Riku reluctantly started to squeeze some out onto his hand.

"Sora?"

"Hmm?"

"This is empty."

Sora was silent for a moment. Then, "You'll have to go get some more."

Riku started. "Ohhhh no, I am _not_ getting—" he stopped when he looked over at Sora's puppy face and teary eyes. "…Fine. Are you sure you'll be alright here?"

"Positive."

Riku patted his head and started off for the convenience store again. He heard Sora call after him, "Make sure you get the right kind!"

-------------------

Riku cringed inwardly as he walked into the convenience store yet again. _Ten munny says that this KY is over by the birth control,_ Riku thought, heading over to 'That Section' of the store. He felt awkward as he picked up a bottle. _I didn't think Sora was ready for this part of our relationship,_ he thought, grinning to himself as he walked up to the cash register.

The teenage girl looked him over as she rang up his purchase. "This for your boyfriend?" She asked coyly as she put it in a bag and took his munny.

Riku pinked slightly as he took the bag and replied, "It's for emergencies."

---------------------

Riku walked back up to where Sora was stuck in the bike rack, red in the face. "You so owe me for that," Riku muttered. "I'm never going to be able to go back into that store again."

"Why not? I go in there and get that all the time."

"Exactly," Riku replied.

"It's not really a bad thing is it?" Sora asked quietly. Riku looked over at him, surprised.

"You want me to…regularly…buy you your…KY?" Riku asked.

"We might have to….use it…a lot if I keep getting stuck in…bike racks…" Sora finished lamely.

Riku chuckled lightly. _Sora sucks at flirting._ "Come on, let's get you out of here."

Riku spread some of the KY onto his hand and awkwardly spread it around Sora's head and neck.

"It's warm," Sora muttered quietly.

"I guess it's living up to its name then," Riku replied. "Are you ready to try now?"

Sora steeled himself and pulled his head back. Surprisingly, he fell right back, and with a 'pop' he was free.

"…Wow," Riku said, shifting slightly. "That stuff really works then."

Sora laughed as he picked himself up off the pavement.

Riku looked at him mock-sternly. "Now Sora, what did we learn today?"

"KY is slicker than Penzoil?"

Riku sighed and smacked him over the head as they began to walk back towards Riku's house.

Sora laughed, "I know, I know, I won't stick my head in the bike rack."

"That's right. Besides," he said, grinning, "you owe me for buying that KY."

Sora grinned as well. "What exactly do I owe you?"

Riku broke into a run. "Let's get back to my room and find out!"

------------------------------

Oh. Man. THAT was fun. Fun Fun Fun. I am seriously going to try to book so I can get to the Christmas ones as Christmas time. But you have to be nice and review them even if I don't pace them?

LOVE TO ALL!

freaky-hanyou


	24. The Four Wheeler: AkuRoku

ALOVELYSDFJLEJKLOVELIES! Ok so. I'm thinking im going to make this one a two-a-day BUT you PROMISED you'd review. This ones going to be kinda difficult because its so similar to the bike, but IT WILL BE DONE. XP Plus, I may deviate a liiiitle from the What If itself but tis just going to have a different plot set. Crap _I_ don't even know how to ride a four-wheeler. 8D

DON'T MIND ME. (Christmas Music All over the Place)

WHEEE. AND of COURSE there are references to chapter 13!

"talk" _think_ ((eeeee))

**What If…**

_Axel had to teach Roxas how to ride a four-wheeler?_

_((as suggested by the lovely NoirCat))_

"See!? Didn't I tell you that would be fun?" Axel said enthusiastically as he walked with Roxas away from the paint-ball fields in the park.

A pink spotted Roxas smiled back faintly. "Loads of fun Axel."

"Oh come on you have to admit that was a little bit fun," he said, smirking. "After all you _did_ go with _me,"_ he continued, giving him the I-Am-A-Sex-God-Adore-Me face.

Roxas smiled, looking over at him. "I gues-_hey!"_ he shouted as he was plowed into by none other than Seifer.

"Watch where you're going asshole!"

Axel's hackles immediately rose, taking a step in front of Roxas. "Wanna say that again dickhead?"

Seifer sneered. "What's this Roxy? Have to have your_ girlfriend_ settle your problems?"

Axel would have punched him out if Roxas hadn't put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "I can handle this," Roxas said calmly as he stepped up to Seifer. "What do you want ass?" he asked plainly.

"For you to show everyone else what a pansy you are," he said smirking. "I challenge you to a race with four-wheelers. Tomorrow at sunset. Loser has to dress like a woman."

Roxas smirked right back. "I suggest you go pick out a dress then."

Seifer flicked him off and strode away.

Axel looked down at Roxas, slightly stunned. "I don't think I've seen this 'AssKicking!Roxas' in a while," he said, pulling Roxas close against him. "I'm the only one who gets to call you Roxy…"

Roxas however, seemed to be occupied with something. Axel thought for a while.

"You have no idea what a four-wheeler _is_ do you."

Roxas looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Not a clue."

----------((Lesson time!))------------

Roxas warily sat down on Axel's flaming red four-wheeler, double-checking that his helmet was on securely.

"…Why are there cardboard flames attached to the ends of your four-wheeler?"

Sure enough, Axel had duct taped 2 foot cardboard flames to the back of the four-wheeler. Axel smiled happily. "They're aesthetically pleasing. Besides, they could come in handy!" Roxas sighed.

"Axel-"

"We've been over this. It's Sensei!"

Roxas sighed. _Not again…_ "_Sensei,_ if this is _anything_ like how you taught me how to ride a bike, I'm pretty sure I'd rather just go buy a dress."

Axel looked offended. "Nonsense! I'll ride with you first, so that way, we can die together!"

Roxas was not comforted. "But the warning sticker says not to ride with passeng-"

"LESSON ONE! Which technically, we only have time for one lesson so…THE ULTIMATE LESSON! Now, scoot up so I can get on."

Roxas moved up a bit and Axel climbed on, fitting himself around Roxas like a glove. "Better?" Axel whispered quietly into Roxas' ear.

Roxas shuddered. "Sure."

"First, turn the key and take off the parking brake." Axel put his hand over Roxas' and guided his hand along to the steps. Roxas struggled to pay attention. "Next, put it into drive and _slowly_ push the throttle." Roxas shifted into 'Drive' and watched as his hand was guided to the right handgrip. Just when he was about to turn it, Axel surprised him by wrapping his other arm around Roxas' abdomen and pulling him closer. Roxas jerked and the four-wheeler flew forward. Axel held on tighter and reached over to the opposite handlebar to hit the brake.

"Jeez, Roxy you trying to get rid of me?" Axel said, chuckling.

"You did that on purpose."

Axel feigned innocence. "Let's try that again shall we?"

Roxas slowly accelerated the four-wheeler. "Good!" Axel said, "Now why don't we go for some terrain…"

----------------((Race time!))----------------

The next day was spent with cram-training sessions and going over possible tracks. At sunset, Roxas and Axel went over to the place in the park where they met Seifer. They found him waiting there with his four-wheeler, grinning like a mad man.

"Alright here's the deal. Once around the old tree and back," Seifer explained, pointing and still grinning maniacally.

"No problem," Roxas said confidently. They'd driven over that route at least 5 times.

"Oh and one more thing," he continued. "We'll be doing this race _backwards."_

Roxas choked on air. "_What? _That's insane-"

"Want me to go pick you out some heels?"

Roxas was silent, seething quietly as he got on the four-wheeler. _This is insane. There is no way-_

"Three."

"Two."

"One. GO!"

Roxas steeled himself and turned his head back as he floored it backwards. _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ he thought quickly as he went over constant hills and bumps. As he neared the tree, he was neck and neck with Seifer. However, as he went to round the tree, he turned the four-wheeler in the wrong direction and careened into the trees. Shaking himself, he quickly turned about and floored it out of the bushes. As he slowly caught up to Seifer, he heard Axel yelling to him from the finish line.

"-red button! HIT THE RED BUTTON!"

Roxas turned back to his console quickly to see a red button. Warily, he punched it and turned back to see that the engine kicked into overdrive. He would have caught up to Seifer at that moment if there were but 50 feet more in the race. _Holy Shit,_ he thought as he narrowed his eyes, _there is no way I am wearing a dress tomorrow. _He swerved violently to the left and went over a sharp hill, closing the distance between Seifer and himself. Axel took a picture as they both crossed the finish line.

"I so kicked you ass loser," Seifer said, gloating while the picture developed.

"Just wait and see…"

---------((a few minutes later))------

Seifer and Roxas both looked at the picture, awestruck.

Axel grinned triumphantly. "And iiiiiiiiiiiiit's ROXAS by a-"

"pair of two-foot cardboard flames," Roxas finished, surprised. Shaking himself, Roxas turned to Seifer, grinning. "There you go. I won fair and square. So make sure you get your hair and makeup done tomorrow!"

Seifer glared and stomped away.

Axel and Roxas doubled over in laughter. "Brilliant, Rox! I _told_ you my cardboard things come in handy!"

Roxas smiled and pulled Axel over to him. "Alright, _sensei._ Since I am basically working myself permanently into your debt, how about we go learn how to do some _other_ things?"

Axel grinned devilishly. "With pleasure," he said, scooping Roxas bridal style and walking towards the four-wheeler. "Your chariot awaits!"

----------------

WHEEEEE. So I reeeeallly want to write the next one, reeeeeeeeeally. And I'm going to try. ::excitement::

YOU BETTER REVIEW!

freaky-hanyou


	25. Karaoke Night: AkuRoku & Soriku

Did I mention that the four-wheeler business was all from WikiHow? XD

WE SHALL CONTINUE.

I think this ones going to be amazing personally.

8D

OH and did I MENTION I love LOVE LOVE it when people that are new review? LOVE. AND darling firelid, I need clarification on the second What if. Is those blanks like ….i pick a person or…what..? (I have some preeety confusing ones in the lineup believe you me)

**What If…**

_Sora and Roxas tricked Riku and Axel into singing karaoke?_

_((as suggested by the lovely NoirCat))_

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Roxas whispered doubtfully to his brother Sora as they conspired against their boyfriends.

"Of _course_ it's going to work. They cannot _possibly_ resist _us,_ and _we_ get the money for their show!" Sora said triumphantly.

Roxas still looked uncertain. "Alright, if you say so…"

-------------((cut to Riku and Sora))-----------

"Hey Riku?" Sora asked quietly as he and Riku sat on his bed relaxing.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think you could do me a…favor?"

"What is it?"

"Well…could you meet me at this address and do what I ask? I'll give you a _reward_ if you do…" Sora crawled up over Riku's body and handed him a paper, caressing his chest.

Riku chuckled. "You make it sound like I'm a dog."

"So?" Sora said, winking.

Riku smiled. "I guess I could," he said, returning the embrace, "Why not if I could get my Sora wrapped up for me?"

------------((Axel and Roxas!))---------

Roxas looked up at Axel warily from his ice cream. _There is no way in hell he is falling for this…_ Roxas swallowed his ice cream and looked up at Axel.

"Hey Axel." Axel looked up from inhaling his third ice cream cone. "I have a favor to ask." Axel waggled his eyebrows.

"Does it involve things of a suggestive and/or lude nature?"

Roxas looked at the table. "…Not exactly. Would you just meet me at this address and I'll explain it to you?" he asked quietly, handing him a paper.

"I dunno Roxy, I don't usually follow strangers until I get more information on where they're going to rape me," Axel replied, chuckling.

"What if I gave you incentive?" Axel looked up again, quirking an eyebrow.

"I'll let you use the handcuffs you bought."

Axel smiled. "Psh, done deal. What time do you want me there?"

----------((fast forward!))----------

Roxas and Sora stood at the entrance to the Fast Times Strip Club, where a neon sign saying 'KARAOKE NIGHT' was blinking next to a rather lude neon sign with two men 'dancing' on it.

Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think this is a good idea," he said uncertainly.

"Come on," Sora prodded, "You know Axel's going to get into it!"

"That's what I'm afraid of. Here they come." Roxas tried to smile as he saw Axel and Riku dressed in their clubbing outfits walking together towards them.

Riku looked pleasantly confused. Axel looked excited. Sora and Roxas took their hands and dragged them inside towards the backstage.

"Sora, what's going on-?"

"Shh! You're doing me a favor and performing for me at karaoke night today," Sora said, grinning. Riku's eyes widened. Axel looked at Roxas incredulously. Roxas refused to meet his eyes.

"Why Roxas, you little devil," Axel said smiling. "Give me some makeup and costumes darlings! I'M GOING FIRST!"

Roxas groaned. "No taking off your pants Axel!"

----------------((Fun time!))-----------

"This is insane!" Roxas said, sitting towards the front at a table with Sora. "There is no way he is not going to lose it."

"I thought you already took his virginity." Roxas glared over at Sora. "I'm only kidding! Seriously Roxas, lighten up! It's about to start!"

Roxas looked up warily as the lights dimmed. A flamingly-gay announcer came over the system. "Heeeeeeeeeeey guys! It's karaoke night tonight! And today we have to stars that are ready to come out and sing for you!" The audience cheered. Roxas clapped reluctantly.

"Our first star is tall, feisty, and downright fiery! Give it up for Red-Hot Axel!"

"Oh mortification," Roxas muttered as Axel came out on stage. Axel grinned to the crowd, showing off his red sequins shirt and his tight black leather pants. He waved to the crowd, taking the microphone from the stand.

"My boyfriend begged me to do this," he grinned, pointing at Roxas in the crowd. "This one's for you Roxy." he said as the music started to play.

"ONE TWO THREE UH!" Axel began, thrusting his hips out to the opening line. The audience cheered.

"Oh dear god," Roxas muttered.

"My baby don't mess around because he loves me so and this I know for shoo…" Axel sang, shimmying around the stage.

"But does he really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the door…Don't try to fight the feelin' cause the thought alone is killing me right now…" he continued as he sunk lower to the stage, leaping back up and spinning around.

"Uh, thank god for mom and dad for sticking two together cause we don't know hooowwww….Uh! Heeeeey Yaaaaa," he chorused, gyrating in slow circles.

As the chorused continued, Roxas' face grew more and more red as Axel pulled off more and more of his shirt. The few girls in the audience, and almost all of the guys cheered as he started to pull at his pants, but were disappointed when he didn't pull them off. Roxas sighed in relief.

"You think you've got it, Ohh, you think you've got it, but got it just don't get it 'till there's nothing at AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaallllllll," he sang, holding his hands to his head and circling his hips to the song.

"He is so not allowed in my bedroom after this," Roxas said, but he was starting to talk with less and less conviction.

"We get together, Oh we get together, But separate's always better when there's feelings InvooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOlllved," he continued, repeating the action. This time, Roxas didn't even say anything. Sora watched him stare longingly and laughed. Roxas glared quickly before returning to the show.

"If what they say is, 'Nothing is forever," Axel performed some jazz hands, "Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes, LOOVVEE? So why you, why you  
Why you, why you, why you are we so in denial When we know we're not happy heeeerrreeee..."

Roxas groaned quietly as Axel continued the chorus. "Don't want to meet your mama, just want to make you cumma," Roxas turned pink as Axel pointed to him, and a spot was brought down on him.

Roxas continued to watch, enraptured, until he got to the signature part. "Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, Shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it, Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, shake it, shake it Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it shake it like a Polaroid Picture!" Axel sang, shaking his hips like salsa shakers.

Roxas appeared comatose for the rest of the song.

---------------((fast forward!))----------

Axel appeared smug as he strode out of the dressing room into the audience. He plopped himself down next to Roxas, wrapping an arm around him tightly.

"So how was that? Did I rock your world enough?" he said, grinning. Roxas didn't respond quickly enough. "Oi! Roxas? Anyone home?"

Roxas shook himself and cleared his throat. "….Damn."

Axel smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment. Now you two are in for it now! When I left two stage hands were trying to convince Riku to come out of his dressing room."

Sora looked uncertain. "Maybe I should go and see if they need he-"

"Ladies and gentlemen! Our next star is ready to come out and sing for us! Give a warm welcome to the dark, the mysterious, Racy Riku!"

Riku was pushed out from behind the curtain, almost falling forward onto his face. He was decked in shiny black sequin pants, a blue sequin cowboy vest, and a brown cowboy hat. Space Cowboy techno music began to play. Riku seemed frozen in the spotlight. Sora made a catcall and Riku blinked, grinning devilishly at him out of reflex.

Riku took a while to get his groove going, dancing slowly to the first few techno beats. "Here it comes, millennium, and everybody's talking bout Jerusalem," he started, semi-quietly.

"Louder!" Sora called out.

Riku blinked. "Is this the beginning or beginning of the end," he sang, finally getting into it by shaking his hand slowly and working it throughout his body, "well I've got other thoughts my friend…" he spun around in a circle and ran his hand along the brim of his cowboy hat, making his slick black cowboy boots squeak on the stage.

"See I've got my eyes on the skies, the heavenly bodies up high, And if you're in the mood to take a ride, The strap on a suit and get inside!" Surprisingly, Riku was more limber than Axel and partly break-danced, as he waved his body, partially falling to the ground and mocked strapping on a space suit.

Sora cheered. "Take it off!"

Riku smiled a shit eating grin as he pulled off his vest and swung it over his shoulder. "If you wanna fly, come and take a ride, take a space ride with the cowboy, baby," he sang, flipping a no-handed cartwheel.

"If you wanna fly, come and take a ride, take a space ride with the cowboy, baby!" Riku spun around and swung his vest over his head as strobe lights came on around him, "Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay, Whi-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo!" Riku ran down the sides of the stage, pretending he was riding a horse.

"We don't need all these prophecies, Tellin' us what's a sign," he sang, performing a mini-robot across the dance floor. "'Cause paranoia ain't the way to live your life from day to day  
So leave your doubts and fears behind," he continued, starting to disco but morphing into the moonwalk mid-lyric.

"Don't be afraid at all, 'Cause up in outer space there's no gravity to fall!" Riku decided to get the audience into it and danced towards the audience, more specifically where Sora was sitting. "Put your mind and body to the test," Riku ran his hand slowly down his body, as the fans cheered, "'Cause up in outer space it's like the wild wild west!" Riku turned around to go back towards the stage and Sora slapped him on the rear.

Riku flinched momentarily, and grinned roguishly before slowly circling his hips to the refrain.

Sora catcalled and watched in awe as Riku rocked the house for the rest of the song.

---------------

Sora flying tackled Riku as the four walked out of the strip club together. "Who knew that you could be so…"

"Crazy?" Riku supplied.

"Something like that," he said, kissing his cheek.

"They let us keep the costumes," Axel said, "They even asked us to come back once in a while!"

Roxas snorted. "Maybe."

"Oh come on Roxy, you know you liked it."

"I could practically see him drooling all over the table."

"Stuff it Sora."

"Seriously! He didn't blink for almost 3 minutes! You have problems Roxas."

Roxas smacked him in the shoulder.

"Now, if I am not mistaken," Axel said, grinning, "I do believe that both of you owe each of us favors?"

Roxas smiled devilishly. "And being in our presence isn't favor enough for you?"

Axel laughed and picked him up as he ran towards home. "We'll see you guys later!" he called out over Roxas' protests.

Sora laughed, but slowed down as he looked over at the leer in Riku's eyes. "Now Riku, can't you keep it in your pants until we get home?" he asked, slowly backing away.

"No, I don't think I will," he said, grinning, as Sora gave chase.

-------------------

Hoo. Business. I had to take a shower in between dance numbers. XP Alright its almost 1, and if I fall asleep during first period I am blaming each and every one of you.

I showed you people my undying love YOU SHOW YOURS.

::pokes:: Go the extra mile!

Love!

freaky-hanyou


	26. A What If Special

Alright. I have been nice. Really I have. But I was looking forward to my reviews ALL school. And I come home to five. For _two_ fics that I poured blood into. Now I know what happened. My lovely reviewers just weren't online today. WHICH IS OKAY I STILL LOVE EVERY INCH OF ALL OF YOU THAT IS NOT A PROBLEM IN THE SLIGHTEST! THIS is me talking to those 50ish other people that I haven't had the pleasure to talk to yet.

So am I going to be evil and not update? No, because that's mean to all those who do review. AND I still know you like the story because you keep reading XD. BUT STILL.

Am I going to be evil and lecture you? Nope! I AM HAVING AN AUTHOR INTERVENTION.

This is for Kiki, and Zesty, and my new lovely OnlyInThisLight, who also stayed up til 1. AND FOR EVERYBODY ELSE WHO HAS _EVER_ REVIEWED LIKE um NOIRCAT AND AND LINK-CHAN AND INSPIRE-ILLUMINATE AND THE MADHATHOR AND DEMYX-KILLINGMESOFTLY AND CATRIONAHEARTS AND JAPANESE ROCKER AND FIRELID AND GOGOTHGIRL AND MAJORCRUSH AND LILDEVIL AND PLAIN JANE IS A VAMPIRE AND HYPER KID AND NOONES AND AND ::collapses::. I LOVE YOU **ALL!**

Btw this story is pure crack.

**A SPECIAL WHAT IF SHORT!**

**What If…**

_The authoress got pissed about reviews and _

_decided to write a story about it?_

_((as suggested by the lovely ME, freaky-hanyou))_

Axel looked around warily as he walked down the darkened street. _Weird…_he thought,_ Why would Roxas tell me to meet him here? _He continued to be puzzled as he walked to the corner of the road, where Roxas told him that he would meet him. He spotted him straight ahead, and was about to sigh with relief when he saw the slightly tensed look on his face. _Something's wrong._

Axel jogged up to him. "Hey Rox, what's wrong?"

Roxas' eyes widened when he saw him. "Quick Axel! Leave before she impresses you into her bro-"

"I do hope you weren't going to say brothel, because my club is anything but," a figure said as she stepped out of the shadows. Axel took a step towards Roxas protectively as he saw her. She had a vicious glint in her sharp brown eyes as she stood with her arms crossed next to Roxas.

"I found this little one wandering all alone today-"

"I was going to get an ice cream-" The woman shushed him.

"And I decided that he needed to be taken care of properly. So I have made him my slave. This is to be your last meeting. Say goodbye now."

Axel blinked. "Wait._what?_ There is no way you can-"

"Oh I can," she said as she held out a contract. "He signed it!"

"I thought it was a coupon-!"

Axel sighed. _This is ludicrous. _"Alright crazy lady,"

"My name is_Caroline."_

"Alright, _Caroline,"_ he said cheekily, "what can I do to free my dear Roxy from your evil clutches?"

"You must work at Turtle's for reviews."

"Come again?"

"You know," she said exasperatedly, "reviews! You must dance, get locked in a closet, or even cook filet mignon if you have to! Anything that the audience wants, and after you complete such a daring feat, you must earn reviews! Once you earn a sufficient amount, I will release Roxas into your capable hands."

Axel looked down at the woman incredulously. "You're serious."

"Of course."

"…Roxy?"

Roxas nodded hesitantly.

"Alright then!" Axel said, clapping his hands together. "I will do everything in my power! Even if it means selling myself my dear Roxy! I will do it for_you!_" He struck a 'Power Pose.'

Roxas facepalmed. "You are going to enjoy every minute of this aren't you."

"Damn straight."

--------------------

Alright I'm seriously going to update now. XD I thought that would be amusing. I was going to make the owner of the gay club me, but my friend Caroline was like NOOOOOO MEEE So why not. SO.

IF YOU WANT AXEL TO FREE ROXAS YOU HAVE TO REVIEW!!

This has been a journey into my mind. I'll update properly now. 8D

freaky-hanyou


	27. Kairi: Soriku

I feel better. :- ) You could all ignore that last bout if you want to.

But seriously. Share the love.

Anyhoodles.

**What If…**

_Sora and Riku try to tell Kairi about their relationship?_

_((as suggested by the lovely lildevil425))_

Sora moaned aloud as Riku performed miracles with his tongue as he tugged at Riku's shirt. _I don't think it could get any better than this…_Sora thought contentedly as he finally got Riku's shirt pulled off without coming up for air _Thank god for buttons…_ Sora growled and flipped Riku onto the bed, chuckling. Riku quirked an eyebrow.

"Why are you acting so devious?"

Sora smiled. "Because it's my turn." Sora pulled Riku in for another deep kiss when he heard cans jingling in the hallway. "_Shit!_ Quick Riku! Un-pause the video game!" he whispered frantically as he threw a controller at Riku's head. He quickly jumped onto the bed beside Riku, pretending to be into the game.

"Wha-?"

"Hey guys!" Kairi greeted, "I'm sorry I'm late, I spent a little more time at the mall than I thought I would….Why were there cans all over the steps? And where's Riku's shirt?" she asked questioningly.

"Oh sorry Kairi!" Sora said, rubbing the back of his head apologetically. "I dropped those on the stairs earlier, and I forgot about them because I was…preoccupied…" Sora trailed off, flashbacking to him dropping cans on the steps purposely while eagerly chasing Riku up to his bedroom.

"And I was hot," Riku explained succinctly.

Kairi nodded. "Well, I don't know about you, but I am famished! I'm going to go downstairs and get some lemonade, would anybody want some?" Both Riku and Sora nodded.

As the door shut behind her, Sora fell back onto the bed with a sigh of relief after he re-paused the game. Riku propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at Sora while chuckling quietly.

"I don't think your 'booby-traps' are very effective Sora."

"Nonsense! We heard her coming didn't we?"

Riku sighed. "We're going to have to tell her sometime you know," he reasoned. "She's not stupid."

Sora nodded. "I know, I know. But just a liitle while longer," he said, sighing.

--------------((a few days later))-------------

Riku walked upstairs slowly. _I know it's not normal for me to have to let myself in, but it doesn't seem like anyones home…_ Riku snickered as he heard loud singing coming from the shower. _There he is._ Riku quietly walked towards the bathroom.

"YOU MAY HATE ME BUT IT AIN'T NO LIE, BABY BYE BYE BYEEE!" Sora sang, completely oblivious to the door opening.

"Why _hello,_ my dear Sora!" Sora swore.

"Holy shit Riku! You scared the crap out of me!" Riku smiled as he neared the shower curtain.

"Mind if I join you?" Riku asked, his voice taking on a deeper tone.

Sora popped his head out of the shower. "What an excellent idea! But if you do recall, it _is_ my turn," Sora muttered quietly as he reached out a hand to pull Riku in with him.

The instant he grabbed Riku's shoulder, there was a knock on the door. "Sora? Is that you? Do I hear Riku in there?"

"Yeah Kairi I'm here! I had to go to the bathroom, I'll be right out!" Riku looked at Sora apologetically as he walked towards the door.

"I'll be out soon too Kairi!"

'_We have to tell her!'_ Riku mouthed as he opened the door. Sora facepalmed.

"Hey Riku, why is your shoulder so wet?"

Riku grimaced.

---------------((a few MORE days))--------

"Watching a movie at your house is the best," Sora sighed contentedly, cuddling into Riku's chest.

"No it's not," Riku replied stubbornly,

"Riku. You have a _home theater._ That makes any movie amazing!"

"I'm pretty sure the time you made us watch the Teletubbies was certainly _not_ on my list of all things 'amazing'."

Sora laughed and cuddled closer. "You know," he whispered, sliding down Riku's body, "It _is_ still my turn…"

Riku took in a breath sharply. "It is," he agreed. "Why don't you—"

"_Sora? _What are you_ doing?"_

"…..And here's the marble!" Sora said, pulling a marble out of Riku's pocket. "See? Isn't that a cool magic trick?"

Riku blinked. "Mind-_blowing."_ Sora gave him an apologetic glance and leapt off the couch to greet Kairi.

----------------((next week))-----------

"Sora." Riku said plainly, sitting across from him on the bed in his room.

"…Yes?"

"We are telling her. _Today._ I cannot live with this anymore! She appears at all the _worst_ possible moments!"

"Oh she does not-"

"The bedroom?"

"Well, that-"

"The shower?"

"Yeah, that was-"

"The couch?"

"That was interesting-"

"The _pool locker room?"_

Sora paused. "…Yeah. That was pretty bad. Maybe we should tell her…"

"We are," Riku said sternly. "Who knows? Maybe she won't be…_that_ angry…"

Sora shuddered at the memory of the last time he had seen Kairi 'angry'. They were five, and Riku had dropped a crab down Sora's pants at the beach. Sora had screamed and accidentally ripped Kairi's new swimsuit in the flailing process. Sora couldn't sit for a week. And it was _not _ because of the crab.

"Hey guys!" Kairi said as she opened the door. "No cans on the steps today?"

Sora shook his head solemnly. "Listen Kairi. We have something important we want to tell you." Kairi sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Well, you see-"

"What Riku is trying to say is—"

"We've been dating for a 3 months now." Riku spat out. Both of them waited for their come-uppance.

Kairi blinked. "So I've been off by 2 months? Wow. You guys actually kept a secret. Nice job!"

Sora and Riku looked at eachother, dumbfounded. "You mean…you aren't mad?" Sora asked shyly.

"No silly! I've actually been interrupting you two on purpose for the past few weeks. I figured you'd have to tell me _sometime!"_

Riku smacked Sora on the shoulder. "I told you she wasn't stupid."

"So…" Sora started, still slow on the uptake. "You aren't…mad."

"Not at all! Who _wouldn't_ be a fan of such cute guys making out?!" Kairi said squealing.

"You'd be surprised," Riku said dryly.

"Well, I think I'll leave you alone this afternoon," Kairi said, getting up. "I think I've been bugging you enough these past few weeks. Have fun you two!" she said, winking, as she shut the door behind her with a snap.

Sora turned his head towards Riku slowly.

"…What just happened?"

"She doesn't care," Riku replied slowly, "She even _likes_ it. Great," he said, falling back on the bed, "Now we just have to worry about her rigging our rooms with cameras."

Sora laughed and crawled over to Riku. "Why don't we give her a show then?" he whispered huskily. "After all," he said, hands roaming south, "it _has_ been my turn for a few weeks…why don't we use a little bit of that pent up…_energy?"_

Riku chuckled quietly and groaned as Sora leaned down to kiss him passionately.

--------------------------------

Ha ha! See? A real update.

Now. Free Roxas guys. XP

freaky-hanyou


	28. The Blind Date: Cleon

Ok so yeah I basically love every one of you. I woke up _early_ and frolicked/dragged my tired self over to the computer to check for reviews! Whee! And I ended up falling asleep at 1 again. So today I am going to write this one a bit quickly because I am _so tired_ (and of course it's a Cleon which is like one of the hardest ones for me to write, except for maybe that Cloud/Sora that's in the lineup that I'm kinda freaking out about) but anyway.

So I _still_ am not going to free Roxas, because I did not get the majority of my reviewers reviewing! BUT! I did get many new people! This. makes me_ very_ happy. Tis a pleasure to hear from _all_ of you. AND ZESTY! I did not think of your idea with freeing Roxas then. Excellent thought.

But I am so far behind. Like I think I'm catching up, and then I just get WHAMMED with them. Like. Holy Lord. There is a new record of What Ifs in one review. Dearest Kerrilea gave me _ten what ifs_ in one sitting. PleaseDon'tTryTobreaktherecord! XP Because if you suggest it, I _will_ do it. Just picking the good ones is mean. But I cannot even utilize Master List Jr anymore because I just can't. write. them all. down!

AND! Damn this is a long AN. BUT I have been trying to keep the rating at a T to attract more people to the story, BUT. some of your reviews are _begging_ for some…interesting…things (coughzesty'scough) So seriously. I need some feedback on what you think!

ONE MORE THING I'm sorry OnlyInThisLight that I keep ruining your shirts. 8D

There. I'm done. I bet you 10 dollars anyone who doesn't review is just going to skip all that. Ah well. Can't win em all. AND I LOVE THE PICKETING. XD ….Shutting up. ((This is me winging it with a Cleon! Should be fun.))

**What If…**

_Leon and Cloud went on a blind date?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Kiki))_

"I'm not going."

Yuffie sighed exasperatedly as Aerith shook her head and sipped her tea from her place at the kitchen table. "Cloud. You're being unreasonable. Leon is a perfect gentleman-"

"And how is it do you know that I am gay, exactly?"

Yuffie snorted. "Please Cloud. You live with two women. Besides, we know where you sneak off to at night. You're gayer than a maypole in a dance studio with Mexicans frolicking around it."

Aerith snorted her tea back into her cup, and Cloud looked at Yuffie incredulously. "How the hell do you think of these comparisons?"

Yuffie glared at him. "Stop trying to change the subject Cloud. You are going out with him to the Rose Castle and you will enjoy every minute of it."

Cloud sputtered. "The_Rose Castle?!_ What, are you trying to make me propose to him or something?"

"Aha! See Aerith, I_told_ you he was gay! Cough up that five bucks." Aerith sighed and handed over the money.

"Gay guys aren't supposed to like sports and fighting!"

"_He _does!"

Cloud blinked. "I thought you said you knew I was gay!"

Yuffie snickered. "I guessed. But anyway! Back to the matter at hand! You will go upstairs and get dressed for a nice evening out, or I will send out the pictures I have of you making out with your pillow to every address in your book."

Cloud sighed and started to walk towards the stairs. "But what if he's a rapist? What if he slips something into my drink?"

"Then you'll have one hell of a night. Get going!"

-----------------------

Leon fidgeted at the table he was sitting at as he watched the door. _Let's see, Yuffie said that he was blonde, crazy tall, and does not look gay in the slightest. This is going to be difficult. Maybe I should have had Aerith give me a picture._ He sighed as he watched blonde after blonde walk through the door.

Finally he saw one enter that seemed to be looking for someone. He stood up, but sat back down quickly when said blonde caught what appeared to be his fiance' in his arms. Leon sighed. _That would have been awkward._

From his peripheral vision, Leon noticed a man dressed in black slacks with a black dress shirt walk by. He grabbed his arm, still watching the door. "Waiter, can you fill up my water please?"

"I'm not a waiter."

Leon looked up, slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry sir. And your name is?"

"Cloud." Leon quickly leapt up out of his seat and started to shake his hand. When he noticed the look that the man was giving him, he stopped.

"I'm sorry, let me introduce myself. I'm Leon," he said, now shaking Cloud's hand. "I didn't see you come in," he continued, sitting down in his seat.

Cloud sat down across from him. "I move quietly."

"Oh," Leon said, leaning back in his chair. "So…" Cloud quirked up an eyebrow. Leon paused. _He's kind of cute when he does that. In an I'm-going-to-kick-your-ass-and-skin-you kind of way. How endearing._"…what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a housekeeper."

Leon snorted involuntarily. Cloud glared at him, offended. "I'm sorry, it's just…that's an interesting profession."

"It pays the bills."

"Right," Leon said, twirling his water glass. "Well, I'm a dojo master. I teach sword fighting."

Cloud nodded. "How nice."

Leon shifted awkwardly. "Well! Here's the waiter," Leon said, quickly pulling one over to them. "What will you have?" Cloud ordered quickly, and Leon, after fiddling around with the menu a little, placed his order as well.

"So…" Leon began again, trying in vain to start up a conversation. "bad…weather we've been having hm?"

Cloud nodded deftly._Man, he's scraping the bottom of his conversation barrel already and we just got the bread, _Cloud thought.

Leon continued to rack his brain for conversation topics, eating his bread mechanically. Suddenly, a person with long platinum hair with an obnoxious blue wing tattoo on his right shoulder at the table behind him leapt out of his seat, in a heated argument with his partner across the table. Leon started, inhaling the bread he was eating. He coughed rapidly, then stopped.

Cloud looked over at him, mildly concerned when Leon did not sound like he was breathing. "Leon?"

Leon made the choking signal, and Cloud leapt out of his seat and rushed towards him. In one fluid motion, he pulled Leon out of his seat and tight up against him. He quickly wrapped his arms around Leon's waist and performed the Heimlich Maneuver. After a few seconds, Leon coughed up a lump of bread, choking loudly.

Cloud stepped back from him quietly and handed him his water. "Do you feel better?" Leon nodded, unable to speak properly yet.

When Leon was breathing more evenly, he smiled weakly at Cloud. "Thanks," he said, shifting to get more comfortable in his seat again.

"No problem," Cloud said. "You said you were a dojo master?" he questioned as their food was placed in front of them.

Leon smiled. "I am. Would you like to come by one day and visit? I could show you around."

"I'd like that. What do you say we go see a late movie after dinner?" Leon's smile grew wider.

"Sure. So did we bond or something when I was choking or did you just randomly decide to engage in conversation?"

Cloud smiled and leaned closer to him over the table. "Let's just say I'd like to know more about what I felt when I was saving your ass."

Leon laughed and returned to his dinner.

-------------------------------

Why don't I ever really like the Cleon ones I write. Sigh. Maybe I'm just really._really. _Tired. Hoo. Only 15 more until Christmas ones! Anyone who can guess who the guy who hit Leon is gets a cookie. Alright I'm going to go collapse now.

Share the love my lovelies. FREE ROXAS! ((haha I want to like make a shirt or something. 8D))

freaky-hanyou


	29. Strip Poker: Zemyx & AkuRoku

MY DARLINGS ! I apologize deeply for no update yesterday! I was just so _exhausted_ I went to bed at 1145. XP AND I overslept. Go figure. BUT! In addition to this, I made Karaoke Night all Extended Addition because it kept bugging me how short Riku's dance scene was, so I added some fun to it. 8D It showed up in my live preview, but nowhere else yet…So if anyone has any difficulty seeing it let me know.

I'm excited for this one. XP

oh yeah Zesty your suggestion wasn't bad its just….dirteh. and that's a GOOD THING. XD

Btw. Subtley-odd as it was, that _was_ Sephiroth. 8D Remember, never played Final Fantasy.

AND Kerrilea! I have never played, BUT I prefer Leon. XP

**What If…**

_Organization XII played a game of strip poker?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Chained Memories))_

Luxord sighed in frustration as he grabbed a late night snack in the cafeteria. _This sucks, _he thought darkly. _There's nothing to do in this castle anymore._

A week before, Xemnas has banned all forms of betting due to the ridiculous monopoly Luxord had over it. Whenever someone had something he wanted, he would convince them to bet it. Now, after convincing the Superior to bet his new pair of fuchsia swim trunks (the Superior secretly loves all vibrant colors and frequently visits his slip-n-slide), he got angry when he lost them in a sports bet. Consequently, all forms of betting were henceforth banned from the Castle.

"Then again," Luxord muttered to the empty cafeteria, "Axel and Roxas were banned from pranking anyone, but that doesn't stop them from throwing all of my cards into Demyx's swimming pool…"

"Talking to yourself again Luxord? It's healthy you know."

Luxord turned around, deep in thought. "Hello, Marluxia."

Marluxia looked at him closely. "You looked deep in thought," he smirked. "This is a rare thing for you."

"Stuff it Marluxia, I'm plotting. It requires a lot of effort."

"Tell me about it," Marluxia sighed. Luxord looked at him, confused. "Nevermind. What, praytell, are you plotting?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to bet in the castle again."

Marluxia laughed. "What, is that all? But that's so simple!"

Luxord looked at him incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that Luxord; your negative chi will disrupt my idea. Just leave it to me!"

Luxord narrowed his eyes, suspicious. "Don't you usually want something in return?"

Marluxia laughed evilly. "Trust me, this game is going to be payment enough."

-----------((the next morning))-----------

Marluxia came in late to breakfast the next day, carrying a pile of bright purple flyers. "Good morning everyone!" Marluxia greeted cheerily as he began to pass out flyers.

Roxas snorted. "Marluxia? _Cheery? _The apocalypse must be coming." Axel laughed, putting his hand up for a high five. Roxas glared and turned to continue his breakfast. It was too early to deal with Axel.

"What's this?" Zexion wondered, examining the purple-colored flyer closely. "Game night?"

"Rec room?" Demyx pondered, before whispering to Zexion, "We have a rec room?"

Marluxia nodded. "Missions have been a bit slow, and I figured that we all could use some…_alternative…_entertainment."

Axel choked on his bacon, and Roxas hit him on the back. "He's going to rape us and make us play sex games," Axel stage-whispered to Roxas.

Marluxia glared at Axel and continued. "I think it could be fun," he said, sitting down in his seat.

"Why didn't I get one?" The Superior asked.

"I figured that you would be too busy with more important matters sir," Marluxia replied without missing a beat.

The Superior nodded, appeased. Saix quickly threw the flyer back at Marluxia. "I refuse to participate in anything that the Superior is not involved in," he said, huffing.'

"Me too," Vexen said, "handing the flyer calmly back to Marluxia.

"Lexaeus and I have a mission," Xaldin said, standing up and handing his flyer back.

"Hell, I'm in," Xigbar said, "I've got nothing better to do."

"I too, have nothing better to do," Luxord said carefully, trying not to gain attention from the Superior.

The Superior narrowed his eyes. "There isn't going to be any betting involved in this 'game', is there Number XI?"

Marluxia shook his head. "No sir, we won't even have a deck of cards," Marluxia lied, "Last I checked, Numbers VIII and XIII threw all of Luxords' into the swimming pool."

Axel and Roxas snickered quietly. The Superior looked stern. "Alright," he said warily. "Number VI."

"Sir?"

"I want a full report on what happened on my desk tomorrow morning."

"Yes sir. Demyx, it looks like we're going to game night."

"Yay!" Demyx cheered.

"We'll go too," Roxas said. Axel began to protest, but Roxas smacked him on the back of his head.

"Larxene, are you coming? It's bound to be an _interesting_ affair," Marluxia questioned, giving her the I've-got-something-up-my-sleeve-and-it's-manipulative-and-you'll-love-it look.

Larxene smiled wickedly. "I wouldn't miss it Marly."

Marluxia smiled. "8 o'clock then."

--------((8 o'clock))---------

Axel and Roxas walked down to the Rec room warily. "I feel like we're walking into a lion's den," Axel whispered as they neared the door.

"Nonsense."

"Come on, don't you think it's a bit suspicious that he never told us what came we're playing?"

"Axel, stop being so-"

"Wow! I never knew this was over here Zexy! You learn something new every day! Oh hi guys!" Demyx called out as he and Zexion came visible around the corner. Zexion nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Do you guys know what game we're playing?" Axel asked them, concerned.

They shook their heads. "Only one way to find out!" Demyx said cheerily and opened the door.

Upon entering, they found that Marluxia, Larxene, Luxord, and Xigbar were already there.

"Great! Everyone ready to play?" Marluxia said cheerily, completely mismatching his sadistic expression.

"What are we playing, exactly?" Axel said, as they began to sit around a table situated in the middle of the room.

"Oh nothing big. Just strip poker," Marluxia replied casually.

Axel missed his chair and landed hard on the ground. Leaping up without missing a beat, he yelled, "See Roxy? I _told_ you he wanted to rape us! It's all a plot!"

"Actually," Marluxia explained, "Luxord here just wanted to bet in the castle again, and I thought that this was the _perfect_ way to show off his _talent."_

Axel glared at him. "Why you sadistic little bastard. Come on Roxas, we're goi-"

"What if you see the Superior? What will you tell him?"

Axel glared and sat down.

"What the hell am I going to write about then?" Zexion said, concerned.

"You'll write about how Larxene kicked everyones ass at Life and then at High Ho Cheerio," Marluxia supplied.

Zexion nodded slowly. "What the hell is High Ho Cheerio?" Demyx whispered quietly. Zexion shushed him.

"So what are we betting?" Xigbar asked, looking for the chips.

"Clothes," Marluxia said, "Betting will automatically start at one article of clothing; first one naked loses."

"What game are we playing?" Roxas questioned.

"Five card draw," Luxord said, passing out the cards. "Let's start."

Luxord finished dealing, and the game began. Everyone was silent as silent as Larxene started the betting at 1 article, and everyone called with the exception of Roxas and Xigbar, who folded.

"That's right Roxy, you strip for no one but me," Axel said proudly. Roxas smacked him in the face with his jacket sleeve.

"How boring," Luxord said, as he switched out everyone sans Roxas and Xigbars' cards. "I'll raise the betting to 2 articles."

Zexion and Demyx folded. Larxene smiled. "I'll bet my bra that I have a better hand the you three," she smirked. Axel and Marluxia folded warily.

Luxord looked at her closely. "You're bluffing," he said, and showed his cards. "Straight."

"Dammit!" Larxene cursed. "Three of a kind."

"Come on Larxene, take it off," Marluxia said, leering. Larxene glared at him and shifted in her seat, reaching back to unclasp her bra. Luxord and Marluxia whooped and hollered as she fumbled with the clasps. Unhooking them, she pulled her yellow bra out of her jacket sleeve.

"Happy?" she said sharply.

"Actually, the bet was 2 articles Larxene. Take off your jacket." Luxord grinned. Larxene sighed and pulled off her jacket. She only had on a camisole shirt and pajama pants.

"You guys are bastards," she said.

Deal passed to Larxene, who quickly dealt out the cards. Xigbar and Zexion folded immediately, while everyone else took a few cards.

"I'll raise the bet to 4 articles of clothing," Axel said quietly. Luxord looked at him and folded.

"Quite the poker face you have there Axel," he said chuckling.

Everyone but Demyx followed Luxord's lead and folded. Demyx was the only one who was 'wise' enough to see his bet. Sure enough, when the cards were revealed, Axel had a Full House while Demyx only had two pair.

"You thought you could beat him with _that?"_ Zexion said incredulously as Demyx began to strip.

"I thought he was bluffing!" Demyx retorted, and pulled off his jacket, his shoes and socks, and his shirt.

Xigbar catcalled. "What's this?" he said, grinning, "Have you been working out Demyx?"

"Fuck you," Zexion snapped protectively.

Marluxia laughed. "Touchy touchy!" The deal passed to him, and the game continued.

-------------((a few hours later))--------

After a few more hands, everyone but Luxord, who had not lost one hand, was down to either jeans or boxers. Larxene still had her cami on, but had lost her pajama pants and socks the last round.

"This round will decide it," Luxord said as Axel dealt out the cards.

As the cards were passed out, Luxord looked around the table. Zexion seemed to be losing his cool, looking over at Demyx and then at Xigbar every few seconds. Axel seemed to be enjoying the view of boxer-clad!Roxas, while Marluxia took his time teasing Larxene.

As a safety precaution, Roxas, Xigbar, and Zexion folded. Axel took 2 cards while Larxene took three. Marluxia didn't take any, nor did Luxord. Demyx took 4 cards.

"I'll begin the betting at all clothing," Luxord said. Everyone folded but Demyx and Larxene, who were all for it.

"Ready?" Luxord said, eyes glinting. They nodded. "Four of a kind," he said.

"Straight flush!" Larxene said triumphantly. Luxord blinked. They both looked over at Demyx expectantly.

"Royal. Straight. Flush." Demyx said, brandishing his cards with a flourish. Larxene protested, looking at Demyx's cards.

"Good job Demyx! We didn't know you had it in you," A jeans-clad Axel said, hitting him on the back in congratulations.

"Well I have to go start writing that paper," Zexion said, gathering his and Demyx's clothes and standing up. "Why don't you help me _Demyx?"_ Zexion asked sharply.

"Sure!" he said cheerily and they left the room.

"Well, _we're_ gay,:" Axel said, pulling Roxas up, "and I'm pretty sure I'd be traumatized if I saw Luxord strip," he continued, gathering their clothes, "so we're out."

They left, and Marluxia grinned. "Well, that was fun!"

Luxord was in shock. "I lost," he said quietly.

"The poor man's comatose," Marluxia said, tsk-ing. "I think Larxene should go first."

"Kiss my ass Marluxia."

"Is that a promise?"

--------((Zemyx time!))------

Once Demyx and Zexion entered Zexion's room, Zexion collapsed onto his bed, exhausted. "Shit, Demyx, you really had me going there," he said.

"What? Did you think I was going to lose?" Demyx asked.

"Well you could have, and I did _not_ like the way Xigbar was looking at you," Zexion said, turning on his bed to face him.

"Thanks for the faith," Demyx said dryly, lying next to him. "Wanna save your paper for later?"

Zexion grinned. "Sure."

"You'll know I'll only strip off these boxers for you right?"

Zexion laughed and pulled Demyx closer. "Of course." He rolled over on top of him and pulled Demyx up for a kiss.

---------((AkuRoku time!))-------

Axel laughed as he and Roxas entered his room. "That was actually quite fun," he admitted.

Roxas glared at him. "You only say that because I almost had to strip down all the way."

"…True," Axel admitted, and Roxas snorted. "But," Axel admitted, pulling Roxas to him in an embrace, "I wouldn't have liked it if you had to strip down in front of all those people," he admitted softly. "I'll keep you all to myself."

"Is that so?" Roxas whispered. "In that case, you have to finish stripping for me as well," he whispered.

"Done deal." Axel whispered, lifting Roxas up and kissing him while carrying him over to the bed.

-----------------------

Goddamn that turned out longer than I thought it would. SO YOU KNOW I suck. ass. at poker. XD AND I was reeeally trying not to make Marluxia gay, because I don't think he is. And I haven't even played CoM. 8D

Alright I'm tired. Read and review my darlings and lovelies!

freaky-hanyou


	30. Drunk: Soriku

Eee! Hello my darlings. You people rule. I left my ring at school, and of course its Friday, soo you made me feel better that my idiocy just lost my 130 dollar ring. ::sadness::

AND. EVEN if you say that I don't have to do it. _I'mstillgonnaaaa._ ::cackle:: They are all a challenge! As silly or as wtfhowintheworld that they are. No skipping. 8D

So I looked at my inbox and I'm like woah did we break the high score?! Nope not yet! Plain Jane you rock. XP AND! ROXAS IS NOT FREE. XD I let him out so he can help Axel work off his slave fee. ;-)

And so you know how drastically far behind I am in What Ifs…in the reviews, the ones I am pulling from are from page 8 of 12 and are dated mid September. The new ones are on page 1. XP

OnlyInThisLight: hahah I know hence why I didn't want him to be gay. 8D Altho I would like to know where in the world everyone gets so much detail as to what when down with Roxas and Axel during the Organization. I haven't been able to find anything on that one!

**What If…**

_Sora got drunk for his birthday, and told Riku about_

_a very interesting feeling he was hiding…?_

_((as suggested by the lovely zesty))_

Sora rolled over in his bed and looked at his clock. _Hmm…eleven o'clock. Late enough!_ Sora stretched and leapt out of bed. Surprisingly, the floor cried out and squished under his feet. Sora started and fell back on the bed.

"Riku! I'm sorry! I forgot you slept over," Sora said sheepishly.

"It's alright," Riku replied. _First I have to sleep on the floor, and then I get stepped on. Geez. _

Riku noticed that Sora was still staring at him. "What?" Riku said innocently, "it's not like today has anything _special_ going on."

Sora glared at him. "There is and you know it. You only stayed over for my mother's birthday pancakes."

"True. Happy Birthday Sora!" Riku said, giving Sora the traditional man-hug. Then, both of them raced downstairs for breakfast.

----------((after breakfast))--------

After breakfast, Sora and Riku realized that they had the house to themselves. Sora's dad was away on a business trip and his mom had to leave for work.

"You're sure you'll be alright sweetie?" Sora's mom asked as she kissed him goodbye.

"I'll be fine mom," Sora said, "go make money."

His mom smiled. "Have fun Sora!" Riku grinned evilly as she left the house. "You do realize that we have this entire house to ourselves for today, _your_ birthday," Riku stated evenly.

"Yes!"

"And you know what this means?"

"What."

"_Pillow fight!"_ Riku said, lunging for couch pillows and launching them at Sora. A Battle Royale: Pillow Style ensued for the next half hour. Every pillow in the house was littered about on the floor. Sora peeled out of his parent's bedroom, leaving assorted pillows strewn about on the floor as a trap for Riku, who quickly followed.

"Ha!" Riku said, dodging pillows as if they were…well, pillows. "If I can defeat Darkness, I'm _pretty_ sure I can dodge pillows," Riku said laughing. As if on cue, he missed a step and tripped over a body pillow.

Sora started laughing, until he noticed that Riku was falling straight for him. It was too late to move, and Sora acted as a cushion for Riku between the floor. Riku put his arms out so he wouldn't crush Sora, effectively pinning him to the ground.

Sora laughed harder. "Defeat Darkness hmm?"

Riku chuckled. "Shut up."

Sora only stopped laughing when he realized that not only could he hear Riku laugh, he could _feel_ it. An awkward silence ensued. Riku stared at Sora intensely. Sora returned it with his own stare for a few seconds before blinking.

"Um…let's clean up the house," Sora said, pushing Riku up so he could get up. Riku sighed internally.

---------((::hits fast forward button::))---------

After cleaning up the house, lunch, and a Heroes: Season One Marathon, it was already around 7 o'clock. Sora stretched from his position on one of the couches in the living room. Riku turned from his spot on the floor, looking up at him.

"Are you staying over again, I'm assuming?" Sora asked. Riku nodded.

"Why not," Riku said, "After all, if you get hammered or something, I have to be here to make sure you don't slit your wrists or something."

Sora looked as if he had gotten the most brilliant idea in the world. "That's _it_ Riku! That will make my birthday interesting!"

"…slitting your wrists?" Riku asked tentatively, reaching for a phone to call the Suicide Hotline.

Sora laughed. "No silly, I wanna get _wasted!"_

Riku blinked. "Seriously?" Sora nodded. "Well, I _guess_ you could, I won't stop you," Riku said slowly as Sora got up to go towards the kitchen.

Sora turned around. "You don't want me to?"

Riku stood up and walked over to him. "No, it's fine with me; _I_ just don't want to get completely hammered."

"Deal. I'll keep you from jumping out the window, and you'll keep me from slitting my wrists! It'll be fun!"

"Right."

-----((a raid of the liquor cabinet and 2 hours later))----

A completely and utterly wasted Sora laughed hysterically as he rolled around on his bed. "Oh man! Look at that pile!" he slurred, pointing to the pile of beer and Smirnoff bottles next to a cross-legged Riku.

An only slightly inebriated Riku looked to his left at the pile. "What's so funny about it?"

"It's so…_brown!"_ Sora said, cracking up. "And and, _clear!"_ He burst into hysterical laughter again.

"You're hopeless," Riku sighed, getting up and sitting on the bed next to Sora.

Sora laughed and ignored him. Riku forced him to pay attention.

"No seriously, you need to calm down a little bit," Riku said sternly.

"Why?" Sora asked, pretending to be serious. His expression changed as he rolled over, partially on top of Riku. "Do you…_want_ me to be?" he asked, semi-seductively.

Riku blinked, reflexively pushing himself into the bed. "S-sora, cut it out!"

Sora rolled away, breaking into hysterical laughter. Riku sighed and turned on his side, watching Sora laugh.

"Wanna know something funny?" Sora asked Riku after he calmed down.

"What?" Riku said, half interested.

"I've secretly liked you since kindergarten!" Sora snickered, "And I've been too _afraid_ to tell you because I thought it would 'ruin our friendship.' Isn't that _funny?"_ Sora continued laughing.

Riku started. "Sora, quit fooling around."

The Drunk!Sora looked hurt. "But I'm not kidding!"

"…Really?" Riku asked tentatively.

"Really." Sora said, moving closer and closer to Riku.

Riku weighed his options about responding. _Well…there's no way he's going to remember this in the morning... "_I like you too," Riku muttered quietly.

Sora squealed and tackled Riku to the bed. "Really? Yay!" Sora exclaimed, hugging Riku tight. "Now we can get married, and have babies, and have a farm on the North Pole!"

Riku looked up at him, only half serious. "Men can't have babies Sora. And isn't the North Pole a little cold for a farm?"

Sora pouted. "You're no fun," Sora whispered quietly, slowly moving towards Riku's lips. Riku's eyes crossed as he watched what was happening. He hesitated, then put his fingers over Sora's lips.

"What's wrong?" a muffled Sora asked.

"I can't Sora. You're drunk! You won't remember this in the morning," Riku admitted softly.

"I will too! You just wait!" Sora said determinedly, rolling away from Riku. Riku laughed, sitting up.

"We'll see," Riku said, intending to lie down on the floor to go to sleep.

"Where are you goin?" Sora asked.

"To bed."

"You could stay up here if you want," Sora asked quietly.

Riku paused. "I guess I could," Riku said, moving back towards the top of the bed. Sora giggled and snuggled under the covers with Riku.

"Just don't throw up on me in the morning," Riku said dryly. Sora laughed.

------((morning!))------

Sora awoke to a variety of feelings, all combining to feel as if he was ran over by a train and consequently made into a Toaster Strudel and eaten by small children. He tried to roll over away from the bright sunlight only to realize that a pair of strong arms were holding him in place.

Sora froze. _Something happened last night,_ his mind deduced. He wracked his brain. "Dammit, I can't remember," Sora muttered, frustrated. Riku shifted. _Dammit, he was always an extra-light sleeper._

"Sora?" Riku asked groggily, "Do you have to throw up or something?"

"Why are you up here?" Sora asked, harsher than he intended to.

Riku flinched and started to get up. "I'm sorry," he said, "let me get you some aspirin." Sora grabbed onto his shirt sleeve and pulled him close again.

"I meant, what happened that I can't remember that resulted in you not sleeping on the floor?" Sora elaborated.

Riku hesitated. "Well…you said some…things…"

"What kind of 'things'?"

Riku muttered something quietly.

"Hungover people have ringing ears you know," Sora said. "I need a repeat."

"You said that you liked me since kindergarten and that you were afraid to tell me."

Sora blinked. "…And what did you say?"

Riku hesitated again. "I said I liked you too." Sora relaxed a little bit.

"Did anything else happen?"

"No!" Riku protested instantly, "I knew you were wasted, although you _did_ try to kiss me," Riku muttered quietly.

Sora smiled. "You're so honorable Riku. Although that's not how I wanted to tell you," Sora said quietly.

Riku hugged him tighter. "It's alright Sora. You told me. It just took you getting completely wasted to do it," he said chuckling. "Now, I do believe a kiss is in order," Riku whispered, pulling Sora closer and kissing him.

Sora sighed into the kiss as Riku worked his lips over his. He wound his arms around Riku's neck, and tugged on his hair as Riku ran his tongue around Sora's lips. Sora opened his mouth, and Riku smiled into the kiss as he explored this new part of Sora he had not had the priveledge to visit before. Eventually, air was needed, and they pulled apart.

Riku sighed contentedly. "We really need to get rid of that alcohol pile," he said, looking over at it.

Sora laughed. "Way to be random Riku. Can't we just go back to sleep for a while? I have a headache," he muttered.

Riku smiled. "Sure. But don't expect to get any sleep tomorrow," he said grinning.

Sora smiled and cuddled back under the covers with Riku.

-------------

Gah I'm so tired. I MIIIGHT not write one tomorrow, I'mnot sure. ::goes to collapse in bed::

Free Roxas children! I'm seeing new reviewers every day! Keep up the good work everyone!

freaky-hanyou


	31. Dora the Explorer: Soriku

AHEM. SO. I have moved Roxas to the high security area of my bedro--…the dungeons, because out of the 70something who _read_ _FOUR._ reviewed. ((Fouramazing.)) Which means that my usual lovelies just haven't seen that I updated, which is cool. And I'm getting new reviewers every day, which is good, but STILL.

::evil glare::

ANYHOODLIES. I WROTE A STOREH. which is what if in nature, go figure, but. I still wrote it. 8D GO CHECK IT OUT! eee.

Alright let's do this. THIS is the Halloween one I wanted to get to like, oh about a monthish or so ago. ::innocence::

**What If…**

_Kairi made Sora dress up as Dora the Explorer for Halloween,_

_and Riku thought he looked really cute?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Sofricus Aurora Zakuro))_

Sora opened the door gleefully around 4 o clock on Halloween. "Kairi! Did you bring this amazing Halloween present I should wear?"

"Oh I did," she said, with a hint of deviousness in her voice. "And you're going to love it!" she said, pulling it out from behind her back.

Sora's eyes widened as he slowly backed away into his house. "Ohhh no, I am _not_ wearing that Trick-or-Treating, there is No. Way."

Just as he was about to give chase, Kairi exclaimed, "if you don't wear this, I'm telling Riku that you wet your bed until you were seven!"

Sora paused mid-step. "You're evil."

"That's right. Now get ready, we're meeting Riku at his house."

------((fast forward!))----

Riku sat in his living room, dressed as Zorro to go trick-or-treating with Kairi and Sora. _I still think we're too old to go trick-or-treating,_ he thought, sword in hand. The doorbell rang, and he got up from his spot on the couch to answer it. _It must be them._

Opening the door, he saw that it was a witch and someone dressed as Dora the Explorer. He smiled as he turned around to get candy. "Isn't it a bit early to start trick-or-treating?"

"Stuff it Riku and let us in already." Riku froze and turned around. He looked at Dora closer. Under the black wig was a pair of fierce blue eyes.

"….Sora?" Riku said, barely containing his laughter. "You're…Dora?"

Sora glared at him. "Kairi made me do it."

"You sure look the part," he said, admiring his pink t-shirt and little red shorts. "Those shorts look like the ones you wore when we were younger!" He couldn't hold his laughter in any longer.

Sora twitched. "Will you just let us inside already?!"

Riku straightened. "Not until you say something in Spanish."

"No."

"Come on! We took Spanish for 8 years! You have to remember something."

Sora sighed, and pulled out the little book of Spanish translations that Kairi gave him. "Déjeme en su casa que usted _bitch_," he said, smirking.

Riku paused. "'Let me in your house you bitch,'" he translated, "very nice," he said, moving out of the way. As he let them walk in front of him to the living room, Riku admired the view of Sora's rear that the tighter pants offered. _This might be a worthwhile trip after all._

----------((Whee!))-----

"This is crap," Sora said, going up to the fifth house that evening. "Every effing house it's, 'say something in Spanish, Say something in Spanish!' Gah, why are we trick-or-treating again?"

"Because you wanted to," Kairi supplied.

"Well if I would have gotten to dress up as something _cool,_ like _Riku_ got to, _then_ it would be fun.

Riku smiled. "Well, then you wouldn't have all those little girls looking at you like you're their idol," he said mockingly.

"Atorníllele Riku."

A nearby Spanish woman who was taking her kids out covered their ears.

"Let's not have _Dora_ be saying 'Screw you' in front of the children," Riku said, laughing.

---------((eeee))--------

After Sora and Riku had walked Kairi home, they arrived at his house, where Sora promptly rid himself of his hated wig in the entranceway.

"This was stupid," he said, "I am never letting Kairi pick out my Halloween costume. Ever. Again."

"Oh come on," Riku said devilishly, "you looked so cute with your 'Pouty Spanish Idol' look."

Sora started and turned around, walking backwards up the stairs to his bedroom. "You really think I look cute in this?"

Riku smiled as they reached the top of the stairs. "Of course. You should have had Kairi get a size up of the shorts," he said, chuckling. Sora looked down, his face reddening.

"You're such a perv Riku."

"Guilty."

"So, what, are we going to play Zorro ravishes Dora?"

"No. That's disturbing Sora." Riku said, chuckling. "But, you _could_ say something sexy in Spanish…"

Sora thought for a moment, then put on his 'Come-undress-me' expression. "Vamamos tienen gran sexo en mi dormitorio," he said seductively.

Riku smiled. "Why, I would _love_ to have great sex in your bedroom!" he said, playfully leading Sora towards his bedroom. "Or," he said, stopping. "Why bother when we could just have it right _here,_" he said, pushing Sora up against the wall and kissing him deeply.

Sora groaned involuntarily as Riku ground his hips upward against his own. He quickly wrapped his legs and arms around Riku, fisting his hair and pulling his black hat off of his head.

Pulling away briefly, he whispered breathlessly, "you look really sexy in that outfit you know," Sora said.

Riku smiled, walking into Sora's bedroom and throwing Sora down on the bed. "I'm pretty sure you'd look even better with that outfit _off_," he replied. Sora laughed as Riku settled himself on top of him, and placed little kisses down his jaw.

"Riku," Sora whispered.

"Mmm?" Riku replied against Sora's neck.

"Your sword is poking me in the ribs." Riku laughed.

-------------

Hee! LAME. XP That was fun. SLEEP TIME!

REVIEW MY DARLINGS!

freaky-hanyou


	32. RENT: AkuRoku

((YOU KNOW. i wanted to put this up YESTERDAY but STUPID wouldn't let me. grr. so technically TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY! WHEE!))

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. So basically all of you except Zesty need to drag your asses to my profile ::points:: ((that over there XD)) and read Tresune. Consider it a birthday present.

You heard right folks. MY BIRTHDAYS TOMORROW:WHEEEEE: So. I _might_ not update tomorrow. 8D

And all that Spanish was from a translation site. although I _did_ take Spanish for 8 years. and now I take Latin. and soon I will be all about Japanese. eeeee.

But yeah. So birthday presentreviews. XP

This one might be a bit difficult for meh…I'm having a hard time finding the plot bunny…

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas went to see the movie/musical RENT?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Sofricus Aurora Zakuro))_

Axel sighed dramatically as he cuddled with Roxas on his bed. He stared at the TV blankly, not paying attention to what was on in the slightest. He looked down to the pleasantly napping bundle in his arms, and smiled._How peaceful,_ he thought, sighing again, _this clearly needs to be interrupted._

"Rooooxyyyyyyy," Axel whispered into Roxas' ear quietly.

"Mmmrfdon'tshowthestaplerAxel'sunderwear…" Roxas muttered. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Rise and shine Roxy. Axel's bored." Roxas shifted.

"Don't wanna get up," he said softly, pouting slightly.

"But I need_entertainment,"_ Axel said, waggling his eyebrows at the groggy Roxas. Roxas smiled.

"Can't we do something else?"

Axel looked crestfallen. "You don't want to have mind-bending Demyx-and-Zexion-waking sex?"

"Of course I do," Roxas said, starting to get up, "It's just that I want to do something else _first,"_ he said, pulling Axel off the bed.

"Like what?"

"Ummm…I dunno," Roxas pondered. "How about a movie?" Axel smiled and dramatically summoned a portal.

"TO THE TWILIGHT TOWN MOVIE RENTAL PLACE! HIGH HO ROXY AWAYYYYYY!" Axel dove into the portal.

Roxas rolled his eyes and walked in calmly, to find Axel sprawled against an alley wall on the other side. Roxas laughed at him and helped him up. "You really need to learn to walk," Roxas said dryly, leading the way to the Video Rental Place.

-----------(((haa it just asked me if I wanted to google map video rental place XD:))-----------

((Anyway.))

"_Ooohh,_ hey Rox what about this one?"

"No."

"But you didn't even look!"

"That's because we're in the video games section," Roxas replied shortly, walking away towards the newer releases. _Taking Axel here is like taking a kid to Toys R Us…then again, you can't really take Axel there either…_ Roxas turned around to see Axel pouring over the movies in the children's section.

"Axel!" Roxas called sternly. "Come over here!"

Axel walked over. "I'm not four, you know," Axel said, "Ooooh look! This one has a monkey in it!" Axel picked up the movie and gave Roxas the puppy face.

"I'd say you were five," Roxas replied, putting the movie back.

"You're such a meanie," Axel said, leaning against the movie rack. Unfortunately, because it was a small movie store, the rack fell right over, and right into the next one, and the next one, and the next one…

Axel stared wide-eyed at the movie destruction. Roxas quickly grabbed a movie, threw some munny on the counter, and summoned a portal to arrive quickly back in Axel's room.

------((oh dear))-----

"_Axel."_

Axel turned around to face Roxas slowly, putting on his don't-forget-you-love-me face. "What's wrong Roxie?"

"That was the fifth movie place in or near Twilight Town we can no longer go to because you haven't learned _you can't lean on the movie racks."_

Axel winced. "I'm sorry!" After a pause, he asked hesitantly. "…What movie did you grab?"

Roxas twitched. The last time he had to "grab" a movie, they ended up watching _The Led in Life: How Pencils are Made._ He cautiously looked at the movie in his hand. "…Rent," he said.

"Huh." Axel said, "That sounds like it had promise." He flopped onto the bed. "Put it in!"

------((cut to: Out Tonight))-----

Axel and Roxas, who was cuddled in his favorite position atop Axel, watched the movie quietly.

"…It says 'I wanna commit a crime, Wanna be the cause of a fight, Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt With a stranger'…"

Roxas looked up at Axel and blinked. "Do we really have to watch this scene?"

Axel smiled. "But it could be important to the plot Roxy!"

Roxas gave him the 'whatthehellAxel' look.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Axel said, skipping the chapter.

------((cut to: I'll Cover You))-----

"Live in my house, i'll be your shelter, just pay be back with one thousand kisses, be my lover and i'll cover you…" Axel smiled and swayed Roxas to the music.

"Ooooh, I _like_ this song…" Roxas smiled.

"….just slip me on i'll be your blanket wherever whatever i'll be your coat…"

"Hey Roxy…." Roxas looked up. "Do you like leather or fur jackets?"

Roxas laughed and nudged him. "Shhh! You're missing the movie!"

------((big cut to the end))-----

Axel and Roxas sat in quiet as the credits began to roll.

"That was pretty good," Roxas said quietly.

"LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!" Axel said, hitting the back button.

------((135 minutes later))-----

Axel smiled as he watched the credits roll again. Roxas had fallen asleep about halfway through the movie, having _just_ seen it. Axel shook him awake.

"Psst…Roxyy!"

"mmm..what?"

"_Fun dreams?_" Axel asked deviously. "You promised me mind-bending, Demyx-and-Zexion waking sex remember?"

Roxas groaned. "I'm tired…"

Axel sighed. "Fine. But pay attention, this is the important part," Axel said, although the way his eyes were glinting told Roxas otherwise.

"You won't slit your wrists?"

"_No._" Roxas groaned, shifting in Axel's arms.

"You won't barge in on me with my…_guitar?"_

"No, Axel."

"You won't die?" Axel said quietly.

"Well, I can't really _die,_ considering we're Nobodys," Roxas said dryly, before looking up into Axel's face to realize he was serious. Roxas sighed and crawled up Axel to kiss him softly on the lips.

"No, Axel, I promise I will never," he kissed him again, "_ever_ leave you like that. No day but today remember?"

Axel laughed quietly and kissed him on the forehead. "I guess I'll let you sleep then."

"Night Axel."

"Night."

--------------------

Hooo Danced riiiiight around that ACTUALplot irony right there. BUT YEAH HEY NOW LETS LEAVE BIRTHDAY GIRL LOVE!

R AND R!

freaky-hanyou


	33. Sugar: Zemyx

Holy damn. What. a. day. FIRST of all, we _tied_ the High Score with the last chapter my lovelies. Myabe I should have birthdays (the 4th those who were confused) more often. XP But yeah. That's how important reviews are. That would have been a step closer to freeing Roxas! XO

But ah well. I LOVE ALL OF YOU ANYWAY! XD OMG. ALL THE BIRTHDAY LOVE. I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

ANDOMG. Zesty. Wrote me a story. Oh man. It just about made my century. AND I'm on her list of profile buddies! Eee. happiness. BUT ANYWAY THE STORY. Its called A Special Someone by Zestychicken2. Go read it now. ::pimps the love:: EEeee.

BUT YEAH so my crazy day started with a tossing of cookies. I guess 13 wings a bag of popcorn snowcaps and half a giant thing of fruit punch is too much for my stomach to handle in two hours. -.- But that's why I'm guessing because there's no fever or ANYTHING and I ate fine all day so. Don't worry I'm not sick. BUT ANYWAYZ so besides crazy learningland, I'm writing an essay for homework, and im on the LAST sentence, and the _keyboard dies!_ And im like…are you shitting me. SO I drive to MartWal and get a cheap one, and I come back and the computers frozen, and as im tearfully restarting it it asks me if I want to save my Unsaved!Essay and I WANT TO but I have no keyboard OR mouse power.

BUT. DOCUMENT RECOVERY SAVES MY UNSAVING ASS AND IS THE REASON I GET TO WRITE TODAY. ::happiness::

SO yeah there might be some typos in this one because this keyboard is weird. It's thinner, and feels funky. ::mourns keyboard:: but like my old one had like a frayed wire and I never noticed. Boo.

Alright enough. It is time. ::goreadzesty'sstoryandleavereviewloveXD::

::btw this one hasn't been planned at all::

**What If…**

_Larxene snuck sugar into Zexion's food and got him hyper?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Sofricus Aurora Zakuro))_

Larxene glowered as she stirred the soup glumly. _I hate kitchen duty,_ she thought darkly as she began adding various spices to her 'Vegetable Surprise' soup, which in reality had no vegetables at all.

"Nothing fun has happened in a while," she muttered to herself.

"What is it with everyone talking to themselves?" Marluxia commented loudly, entering the kitchen.

"Go screw Marluxia," Larxene replied offhandedly.

"Already did," Marluxia said, grinning. "Twice. Now, you said something about needing some fun?" he asked, holding up 6 of Demyx's giant pixie sticks.

"Where'd you get those?" Larxene asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know where Demyx hid all of his pixie sticks away to keep from eating them," Marluxia said offhandedly. "What I am proposing is we set a little…_plan_…with these against the dear Melodious one…"

Larxene grinned maliciously as she began ladling soup into bowls. "What are you implying?"

"Why, it's simple," Marluxia continued, leaning on the counter mischievously, "We simply conceal six giant pixie sticks in the Cloaked Schemer's soup-"

"He'll notice immediately," Larxene interrupted.

"He'll never notice because your soup never tastes the same," Marluxia continued as if she never spoke, "and, since he obviously has no such tolerance for such high sugar levels, we watch as Demyx tries to keep him under control."

Larxene smiled evilly, taking the pixie sticks from Marluxia. "Excellent idea."

--------((oh noes!))----

Zexion watched with mild surprise as soup was placed before him. "Is there a special occasion that requires serving, Number XII?"

Larxene smiled mysteriously. "Am I not allowed to be nice?" she asked sweetly.

"No."

"Let's just say I'm being…_sweet,"_ she said, continuing to pass out soup.

Zexion looked down into his soup warily. Further down the table, Demyx was already diving into his. _Hmmm, he seems unharmed,_ Zexion pondered, picking up his spoon, _I guess it can't be that bad…_He took a tentative bite and made a face as if he just bit a lemon.

"Damn," he muttered to himself. "That is…sweet…" he thought for a minute. _She isn't up to something, is she?" _He looked even further down the table, and saw that she too, was eating the soup.

"Impossible," Zexion concluded, and dug into the strange-tasting soup.

----------((stupid keyboard))------

Demyx sighed as he collapsed onto his bed with a copy of _The Elusive Flame,_ the latest romance novel he was reading. Ever since Zexion and he started, 'reading', he actually found them to be quite entertaining. He hummed a quiet little tune as he opened the book to the page he was on and began to read.

He paused. _It's quiet out there…_he thought. _Too quiet._

Demyx paused for the on cue interruption that usually comes after said thought. After nothing happened, Demyx sighed and got into his book.

-------((exactly 2.37 seconds later))------

"DEMY!" Zexion cried as he kicked in the door, bestowing a flying tackle upon him. Demyx started, catching the flying Cloaked Schemer as he landed.

"Zexion--?"

"_Demy I have missed you!"_ Zexion exclaimed, planting butterfly kisses all over Demyx's face.

"Zexion, what-…what are you wearing?"

Zexion looked down at the bright yellow robe Marluxia bestowed upon him and his neon coral shirt bearing the words: 'YOUR FISH ATE MY SOCKS.'

"He never asked for it back!" Zexion protested, "and I like my pumpkin pink shirt!" Zexion squeezed Demyx in a bear hug. "You're really cuddly," he said, instantly seductive, settling himself more fully upon Demyx.

Demyx blinked. "Wait," he whispered as Zexion began to kiss down his jawline. "_Wait_ a second!" he said, puzzled. He thought for a moment as his past actions flashed across his mind. "…What did you eat today Zexion?"

"Ummm! Nothing unusual," he pondered aloud, "I had breakfast, and that_reeeeeealllyyy good_ sop that Larxene made, and a cracker, and another cracker, and another cr-"

"_That's it!"_ Demyx said, gently pushing Zexion back. "Alright Zexion, stay here, I'll be right back."

"Where ya goin Demy?" Zexion asked.

"I have some business to attend to." He stopped at the door and turned around. "Don't play with anything shiny."

----((enter:Badass!Demyx))-----

Demyx knocked calmly on Larxene's door. _After all, I could be wrong, she might have done anything at all to him…_The door opened to a positively triumphant Larxene staring back at him. _Then again maybe not._

"Why Demyx! How nice to see-"

Demyx picked her up by her cloak and shoved her into the wall. "It's _Number IX to you,"_ he said darkly. "What did you do to Zexion?!" he said harshly.

Larxene feigned innocence. "Why, I don't know what you're talking about _Number IX."_ she jeered.

Demyx snarled. "You will tell me or-"

"Or what? Gonna drown me Demyx?" she inquired, electricity dancing in her eyes, "I'd like to see you try."

"Now, Now, what's all of this commotion? Can't we all be friends?" Marluxia asked calmly, strolling out of a portal.

Demyx dropped Larxene to the floor, coming at Marluxia. "What did you two _do-"_

"We didn't do_anything_ Demyx, he just ate dinner," Marluxia explained. "Granted, his bowl of soup _did_ have 6 giant pixie sticks inside—"

"_Six?!"_ Demyx exclaimed. "Zexion doesn't _eat_ sugar!"

"Exactly," Marluxia explained, "Now go be a good boy and _ride_ it out," he jeered, disappearing into a portal.

Demyx made a noise of frustration, sent a death glare at a snickering Larxene, and was about to come at her again when a crashing noise resounded from the vicinity of his bedroom. He sent her the 'I'll-get-you-later' look and took off towards his room.

---------------

"What. Happened. Zexion." Demyx ground out, eyeing the giant hole in his wall between his room and the hallway."

"Well, it involves a quarter, three sitar strings, and a stapler," Zexion said, ready to go into a long winded tale, when Demyx cut him off.

"Nevermind," he commented absently, and duct tape a poster board over the whole. "That'll work for now," he said, turning to Zexion. "So, what shall we do for the next few hours?"

Zexion seemed to be vibrating on the spot. "I know what _I _want to do," Zexion said huskily, pulling Demyx towards the bed. "Come here Demy," he whispered.

"No, Zexion, I can't. Not when you're like this."

Zexion looked hurt. "Why not?"

"Because…it's not…_you!"_ he said, frustrated. "_I'm_ the one that's supposed to be babied!"

Zexion pulled Demyx closer. "I'm still me. And I promise I'll stay still," he whispered into Demyx's ear. "You can baby me all you want."

Demyx thought for a minute, torn. "Well…I _guess_ we _do_ need to work off some of that sugar," Demyx admitted, pushing Zexion backwards towards the bed. "You need some exercise," he said, leaning over Zexion to place a searing kiss to his lips.

"Demyx…" Zexion whispered, leaning his head back on the pillow as Demyx kissed his collarbone. He was still unable to stay completely still, and ground his hips up against Demyx's.

Demyx hissed, planting a hand on Zexion's hip. "You promised to stay still!" Demyx said, mock-stern.

Zexion pouted. "But, Demy, it's so hard!" he said, winking.

"_Believe me,_ I know," Demyx replied, grinning. "I've been hyper too you know. But it has its advantages," Demyx said, nibbling on Zexion's earlobe.

"HEY DEMYX!" Axel said, kicking down the door with Roxas in tow. "HOW ABOUT YOU AND THIS HYPER ZEXION COME PLAY...shuffleboard…..with…us?" Axel said, slowly, as he realized that Demyx and Zexion weren't paying attention to them at all.

Roxas poked him. "Come on, let's go," he whispered.

Axel looked torn and whispered back, "They don't even know we're here," Axel muttered, watching as a cloak was thrown on the ground.

Roxas growled and dragged him out of the room.

-----------------------

EEEE. Haven't gotten to write a Zemyx in a while. Crap I have to awaken early tomorrow. I LOVE YOU ALL MY LOVELIES.

R AND R. XD

freaky-hanyou


	34. Love Poetry: Cleon

YAY! 200 REVIEWS MY LOVES! THAT IS QUITE THE STEP TOWARDS FREEING ROXAS::happiness: More and more new people I am noticing::hands out cookies:: So. The Golden Compass tomorrow. ::excitement:: Might not update tomorrow, I know I wont be here on Saturday. eee.

COMMENTS. I actually have some. and holy mother of yes reviewing Zesty's story (DOITNOW XD) SO counts as helping free Roxas! XD

KIKI YOU GOT A SNOWDAY!? Boo. A few days ago it seemed like _every_ damned county but MINE had schools closed. Sadness.

And dear OnlyInThisLight, I think that Demyx's other's name is Myde. I have _no_ idea where I learned this. 8D but I dunno really. BUT OMG SOMEONE NOTICED THAT ROXAS AAANDDD DEMYX BOTH LOVE ROMANCE NOVELS::tackles:: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. AND ew I hate the stupid Small World ride. I went on it to humor my mother. I hope you threw up on one of the scary dolls. XP

Oh and the quarter, the 3 sitar strings, and the stapler? shit even _I_ don't know what went down there. XP

So I think this ones going to be interesting. AND I didn't write ANY of these poems except one. And I'm preeety sure you'll figure out which. But in case you don't, it pertains to fish. 8D

**What If…**

_Leon secretly wrote love poetry to Cloud?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Sofricus Aurora Zakuro))_

Cloud sighed happily as he walked in the door after a hard day's training. "I'm home," he muttered to no one in particular. "Leon?" he questioned. "Where are you?"

Cloud walked around the house for a while, before settling himself in their bedroom. _I wonder where he is…_He shut his eyes for a moment, before getting up and rubbing his hands together. _Guess I'd better get some cleaning done before he gets home, because then _nothing _will get done…_Cloud smirked to himself and rolled up his sleeves. He laid down on his stomach and looked under the bed for potential dust bunnies that he missed in last week's cleaning session.

"This wasn't here before," Cloud muttered, seeing an old shoebox under the bed. He pulled it out and sat on top of the bed. In bright orange sharpie the words 'OPEN AND BE CASTRATED' were written in friendly, curly lettering. Cloud chuckled. _Leon has really outdone himself with this one…_He opened the box, and, seeing no angry man coming at him with scissors, examined its contents.

It appeared to be a box of old papers. Cloud picked one of the scraps up and examined it closely. "It's a poem!" he said aloud, "I didn't know Leon was a poet…" He began to read one.

"_Roses are red, _

_Fish sticks are fried,_

_Cloud is really juicy,_

_But fried seafood is not."_

Cloud blinked and read the poem again. "I'm juicy…?" He picked up another paper, nonplussed.

"_Your hugs are like whip cream,_

_Your kisses are like Jell-O,_

_I hope you always have_

_Room in your heart for this fellow."_

Cloud snickered. "He seems to have an obsession with food as an image," he said, chuckling as he picked up another:

"_My love is like cabbage,_

_Divided into two,_

_The leaves I give to others,_

_The heart I give to you."_

Cloud just couldn't hold it in anymore. He threw back his head and laughed. Loudly. So loudly that when Leon walked in the door, he immediately went upstairs to see what was going on.

"_What are you doing?"_ Leon exclaimed, snatching the box away from a still laughing Cloud.

He tried to sober. "Your poems are very…_unique,_ Leon," Cloud said, snickering. "I didn't know that I was so…_juicy."_

Leon's face was expressionless. "Get out."

Cloud sobered immediately. "What?"

"You heard me," Leon said, serious. "I said get out."

"But its my hous-"

"Get _out _dammit!" Leon cried, coming at him in anger. Cloud stood up and left the bedroom and then house in a rush.

-----------

Cloud sighed softly as he walked down the street during the crisp winter afternoon. Luckily he had the sense to grab he coat as he barreled out the door, for it was quickly getting chillier and chillier.

_Man, I've really fucked up, _Cloud thought sadly, _I didn't know that Leon was that into poetry._ He slowed as he walked past a library and then the costume rental shop. An idea slowly formed in his mind as he began to smile.

"Maybe there's a way to win my way back into my _own_ house tonight."

----------

Leon sat in the living room, pouting. "He didn't have to laugh at them," Leon muttered to himself. "He could have just said he didn't like them…he didn't have to laugh…" Leon started when he heard a knock at the door.

Leon plastered on a face of indifference as he opened the door. Indifference quickly turned into incredulity as he looked at the 1700s!Cloud down on bended knee before him.

"What the hell-?"

"It is my Leon!" Cloud said, trying and failing to pretend as if he was from the 1770s. He was wearing a pair of tan breeches, white socks, a blue coat with matching waistcoat, and buckled shoes.

Leon laughed at him. "There are…_ruffles…_on your shirt sleeves!" Leon said, laughing harder.

Cloud glared at him, but continued on. "A Red, Red, Rose by Robert Burns…"

Leon slowly stopped laughing and started to focus intently on Cloud's performance on their porch.

"_O, my love is like a red, red rose,_

_That's newly sprung in June._

_O, my love is like the melody,_

_That's sweetly play'd in tune._

_As far art thou, my bonnie las-lad,"_ Cloud correctly quickly, improvising and grinning sheepishly.

"_So deep in love am I,_

_And I will love thee still, my dear,_

_Till a' the seas gang dry._

_And fare thee well, my only love,_

_And fare the well a while!_

_And I will come again, my love,_

_Tho' it were ten thousand mile!" _

Leon smiled warmly and looked down at the still kneeling Cloud. "Can I come in now?" Cloud said, whining. "My legs are starting to cramp."

Leon laughed and pulled him up to drag him inside. Once Leon had shut the door, Cloud spun him and put his hands on his shoulders. His gaze was serious. "You do know that I was only kidding you, right?" he asked seriously. "I thought you're poetry was cute."

Leon was silent. Cloud continued to stare intently at him for long minutes. After a beat, Leon spoke.

"It is impossible to take _anything_ you say seriously in that outfit," he said, bursting out into laughter.

Cloud pinked and stepped back. "I was _going_ for dramatic effect!"

"Oh it's dramatic alright," Leon said, pulling Cloud close suddenly. "I bet it would look even better on the bedroom floor than it does on you," he whispered.

Cloud smirked. "That could be arranged," he said, and closed in for a kiss.

---------------

WHY IS IT I NEVER LIKE THE CLEONS. But I do despise poetry. BUT I like that one poem. I read it for Brit Lit in the summer. XD Boo. I am tired. Talk soon lovelies!

R AND R MY LOVES!

freaky-hanyou


	35. Twister: Soriku & AkuRoku

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! HelloOOO my darlings! I am sorry. you have all been so good, and I have just been so crizazed it isn't even funny. SO heres what happened. LAST week, I was going to update either Monday or Tuesday, BUT I had to work on both (retail and Christmas is evil) so I was super tired when I got home and I had to pack for Kairos which is this amazing amazing retreat I was on until SATURDAY XD and THEN I had to work Sunday Monday and Tuesday and then wed through today was lets play catch up at school when you missed TWO flipping days. AND work. Oh it was evil. I couldn't even update the day I had a snow day. -.-

But. I am _free_. AND YOU PEOPLE! _YOU BROKE THE HIGH SCORE!_ Twice. First it was 12 reviews, and now the top to beat is _fourteen._ You are love.

AND Kiki by all means! PUT IN THAT SUGGESTION!

And speaking of, I've decided since ive been looking so forward to writing this one, I'm going to do this one and take a skip down to the Christmas one and bounce back. 8D

AND the one after that is a Cloud/Sora. Which I'm kinda freaking out about. Input?

**What If…**

_Sora and Riku were tricked into playing Twister and_

_Axel got really turned on by their "show?"_

_((as suggested by the lovely uppiguppi))_

"I'm telling you, we _didn't_ tape over your episodes of _Will and Grace_ Axel!" Sora said angrily, arguing alongside Riku against Axel, who sat across from them at Riku's kitchen table.

"Oh _really,"_ Axel said sharply, "then _why,_ exactly, were they taped over with…_home…_videos of you and Riku?"

Sora pinked and did not reply.

Axel pointed a finger up in the air triumphantly. "AHA! YOU ADMIT IT!"

"We were just messing around," Sora said lamely. Axel glared at him.

"Well! You're messing around has cost me an entire _season_ of my show!" Axel exclaimed.

"So we'll just buy you the season!" Riku retorted, getting his say in, "If you really love them that much, you should buy the DVDs."

"I'm cheap," Axel continued, "But! You two owe me more than that. This has caused me serious emotional trauma," he said, sighing and putting a hand over his eyes.

Riku sweat dropped and looked helplessly over and Sora, who shrugged.

"Fine," Riku admitted, "we owe you one."

"Yay!" Axel cheered and leapt from the table. "One second!" He ran up the stairs in a flash, and was back with a largeish white box within seconds.

Riku stared at him incredulously. "You want us to play…Twister with you?"

Axel nodded vigorously.

"Why…?" Riku questioned slowly.

"Because! Roxas is gone on that vacation with his family, and you two usually go off with your own…fun…" he said, leering at them, "and its about time that Axel had some fun!" he cheered, opening the box.

Riku sighed. "Fine."

Sora looked on, giggling. "I think this will be fun actually," he winked at Riku. Riku smirked deviously.

Axel, however, did not miss the exchange as he set up the mat. He grinned to himself. _This could get interesting…_"I'll spin!" He exclaimed, turning a chair from the table around to be near the mat.

Riku smirked internally and took off his shoes. Sora giggled softly and did the same. They began, standing on opposite sides of the mat.

Axel smiled, "spinning" the spinner. _This is going to be too easy…_ "Right foot yellow!"

Both participants followed instruction.

"Left hand blue!"

Axel noticed that both players were keeping a reasonable distance from eachother. Axel pondered, and continued to "spin" them so they were closer.

"Left foot green."

Riku sighed, and they both turned around so that they could reach the opposite color on the board without falling down.

"Right foot green." Both of them turned to the side, so that they were facing opposite directions with their left hands still on blue, their right hands hovering about in the air for balance.

"Righ foot yellow!" Both Sora and Riku went for the same yellow spot, ending up entwining their legs together as they reached for different circles.

_Perfect._ "Right hand green." Both Sora and Riku leaned slightly forward, reaching for the center green spots. The shifted so that Riku was half bent over Sora, straining his muscles to hold his hand on the blue circle.

Axel shifted a little in his seat, coughing. "Right foot red."

"Are you fucking kidding," Riku grunted, shifting so that he was partly doing the splits over top of Sora, who was getting a face full of Riku's crotch.

Axel groaned softly and crossed his legs lightly. _Aw hell. Maybe it was a bad idea to start this when Roxas is gone…_ "Left foot red."

Sora and Riku swung out their legs quickly, bracing themselves with both legs on the same color. Still an awkward position with Riku half covering Sora, but they were more comfortable.

Axel, however, was getting less and less comfortable, and pulled at his collar. "Right hand green."

It was now so that both hands were on green, and both legs were on red. However, their limbs were so entangled that Riku was half-mounting Sora, sweating slightly.

Axel shifted again, trying not to groan aloud. _One of them has to fall sometime! _"Left foot yellow; Right hand blue."

Both players shifted, getting more entangled.

Axel grunted. _I'm going to need a shower with ice after this. _He lamented Roxas' absence as he continued to try to make them fall. "Left foot yellow."

At this moment, Riku tripped over top of Sora's hand, and fell on top of him. It was still a mass tangle of limbs, but the game was over.

"I won!" Sora cheered from the Riku pile on top of him. Axel smiled weakly and stood up, placing the spinner on the chair.

"Well," he said, his voice cracking, "I have to go home and…get ready for Roxas to come home tomorrow!" he said, starting for the door, "I'll see you guys later!"

As soon as the door clicked shut, Riku and Sora burst out into hysterical laughter.

"Oh man," Sora said, holding his side, still under Riku, "I thought he was going to die from a heart attack!"

Riku chuckled, leering down at Sora, who was still laughing. "Hey Sora…"

"Hmmmm?"

"Wanna play my version of Twister?"

"And what's that?"

"Put your hands on green and your legs on red." Sora pinked and Riku kissed him deeply, fully stretching over top of him. He kissed a slow line down Sora's jaw as Sora writhed under him.

"This is quite an _entertaining_ game you know," Riku murmured into Sora's neck. Sora shivered, and wrapped his arms around Riku's back.

-----------((To Axel! XD)---------

Axel groaned loudly as he collapsed face first onto the couch in his apartment. "Son of a bitch," he grunted into a pillow. "That was…_crazy…"_

"What was crazy?"

Axel jumped into the air, turning towards the voice from the chair in the corner. He blinked as he saw Roxas sitting over there.

"Roxy? I thought you were supposed to come home tomorrow…"

"We came home early," Roxas shrugged, "I thought you'd at least _notice_ me…"

In an instant, Axel had pulled Roxas from the chair to the floor, plastering himself fully overtop of him, pressing him into the floor. "Still think I didn't notice you?" he purred into Roxas' ear.

Roxas shuddered and smiled up at him. "Phenomenal sex time?"

Axel smirked. "How about a game of Twister?"

----------------

hahha THAT WAS FUN::frolics::

But yes the Christmas one shall be next!

LEAVE LOVE MY DARLINS!

freaky-hanyou


	36. The Christmas Gift: Soriku

HELLOO MY DARLINGS:wheeee!: So. YES, reaching High Score DOES help free Roxas. BUT he is NOT free until we reach a certain point, OR the majority of the folk I see on the stats for that chapter review. XD

AND I have _two_ Christmas stories to write! woo! So the Cloud/Sora I've been freakin out about is a few away.

So let's have fun.

**What If…**

_Sora forgot to get Riku a Christmas present,_

_and gave him whatever came to mind first?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Zesty))_

((of COURSE this is a dirty one XD. Fair warning! But NOT so dirty as to up that rating!))

"Come _on,_ Riku!" Sora exclaimed, dragging him up the stairs to his bedroom.

Riku laughed lightly, "My, my, whatever are you so antsy about Sora?"

"Well it isn't every day that you go on vacation for _two_ weeks and leave me all alone!" he called as they entered his bedroom. "Finally!" he said relieved as he tackled Riku into the bed and forced his lips over Riku's heatedly.

Riku made a noise of surprise, but quickly recovered and got into the fervor of Sora's kiss. He flipped them around and rested a hand on Sora's abdomen as he placed butterfly kisses over Sora's face. He nuzzled Sora's hair. "I missed you," Riku whispered.

Sora smiled. "I missed you too!"

Riku leaned up a bit. "Before I forget," he said, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. One of these things was fairly large to be in a pocket.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "How big exactly _is_ that pocket?"

Riku grinned. "You may never know," he said. "Merry Christmas!" Sora froze as Riku handed him the presents.

"…Christmas?"

Riku laughed. "Duh, it's only the 23rd of December today. Open the bigger one first."

Sora put on a smile and opened it. It was a sheet set.

A Twister sheet set.

Sora turned pink and hurriedly threw the sheet set under the bed. Riku laughed above him. "We'll use that later. Open the next one!"

Sora slowly uncovered a picture frame, with a picture of Riku and Sora at the beach. Riku had his arm slung over Sora's shoulder, with a shit-eating grin, as Kairi stood in the waves in the background. Sora smiled.

"Thanks, Riku!" he said, frowning slightly.

Riku did not miss his expression and settled closer to Sora again. "What's wrong?"

Sora looked away and mumbled something.

"Sora…" Riku put his hand under Sora's chin and forced his eyes to meet his. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot it was Christmas," Sora muttered.

Riku laughed. "How could _you_ of all people forget Christmas!?"

Sora glared at him. "Well its not like I _forgot,_ its just that I forgot to realize that I have to buy people presents!"

Riku smiled. "It's okay, you don't have to get me anything that I don't already have," he snuggled closer to Sora. "I have everything I need right here."

After a minute, Sora suddenly got an idea and shot up in bed, sending Riku careening to the floor. "Riku!" he exclaimed, pulling him off the floor, giving him a 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing-down-there-but-it-doesn't-matter-because-I'm-so-excited-I-might-pee-myself' look. "Go stand outside my room!" he said, pushing Riku towards the door.

"But weren't we going to cuddle?"

Sora shook his head. "Out!"

"But-"

"_Out!"_ he pushed Riku out and slammed the door behind him. Sora began rummaging around his room for some bow and some ribbon, digging through his drawer for his sexiest pair of boxers…

--------------((Poor Riku…))--------------

Riku sighed as he leaned against the wall next to Sora's door. _What is going on in there?_ Riku wondered as he listened to various sounds of rummaging and the occasional swear word. He smothered the urge to pace the floor. He sighed again.

He suddenly heard a 'Come in!' from inside. He sighed in relief and walked inside to a completely different room.

He looked around in the candle-lit room, amazed that all of this could be done in the span of three minutes. "…Sora?"

He looked on the bed, where Sora lounged seductively on his side, his head propped up by one of his hands. He wore a pair of silky dark blue boxers and with a matching ribbon and bow tied around his chest.

"Merry Christmas, Riku."

Riku twitched slightly. "You didn't have to do this, Sora…"

Sora pouted. "You don't want me, Riku?"

Riku smirked, looking devilish in the candlelight. He walked over to the bed, tugging off his t shirt as he went. "Of course I do," he murmured, crawling onto the bed. "It's just I don't think I deserve such a gift…"

Sora smiled. "Why don't you open it and find out what it is?"

Riku leered as he slowly tugged at the ribbon. The bow slowly came undone and was pulled away, revealing Sora's bare chest to the candlelight. Riku moved closer to kiss each exposed piece of flesh from under the thin ribbon. Sora whined slightly at the sensation, beginning to tug at Riku's jeans.

Riku pulled back, making a 'tsk'-ing noise at Sora. "Impatient, are we?"

Sora nodded.

Riku continued his devilish leer. "Well, since you are _my_ present, I get to do whatever I please with you don't I?"

Sora smiled back and wrapped his arms around Riku, pulling him down for a kiss. Riku quickly took control, and angled Sora's chin for better access. He nipped at Sora's lips, and Sora opened up to him. Sora groaned into the kiss as Riku's hands traveled lower to caress Sora's abdomen. Sora's arms tightened around Riku's shoulders as his hand ghosted over his boxers and traveled back up again to his shoulder.

Pulling back slightly, Riku slowly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off. Then, he came back to Sora and kissed slowly down his jaw to play with the taut skin around his collarbone. Sora cried out softly at his ministrations as his hand ghosted lightly over his boxers again.

"Stop tormenting me, Riku…" Sora whispered.

Riku looked up again, smirking. "But it's so much fun," he murmured in reply.

"Just remember," Sora said, pausing as Riku repeated his ministrations over his boxers, "Payback is always a bitch…"

"I'll keep that in mind," Riku said, as he began kissing around Sora's boxers. "Shall I unwrap the last of my present?"

Sora nodded vigorously, and Riku smiled as he slowly began tugging at his boxers…

"Hey Sora, your mom said you and Riku were up here alre-_Holy shit!"_ Roxas exclaimed as he walked into the room.

"What's wrong, Rox, they aren't fucking like bunnies again are they-_shield your virgin eyes Roxas!"_ Axel cried, covering Roxas' eyes with his hands as he entered the scene. Roxas growled and pulled them off.

Riku swore and reached for the blankets to cover them. "Don't you two _ever_ knock?"

Roxas snickered. "I would, but Axel says that it ruins the best of situations."

Sora whimpered from under the blankets. Riku growled again. "Will you two just _leave_ already?"

Axel chuckled. "Alright, alright, we get the picture. We won't interrupt your Early Christmas sex…Although," he said, pausing at the door, "This _would_ make a good Christmas card!" He whipped out his digital camera and took a picture, running out of the room with Roxas.

Riku stared at the closed door in disbelief.

"I think I'm going to get you a lock for your door this Christmas."

Sora laughed and nodded.

"Shall we continue then?"

"Please." Sora reached up and kissed Riku feverishly as Riku pulled down the blankets.

--------------

haha evil place to end. ((is listening to Fever sung by Michael Buble XD)) Don't worry. Revenge will be taken eventually. But it's so irresistible! XD I crack up every time. Poor Sora and Riku.

LEAVE ME CHRISTMAS LOVE!

freaky-hanyou


	37. Mistletoe: AkuRoku

Oh hells children. I just got _three_ more Christmas fics. Now deeming it physically impossible to finish by Christmas eve. I'm writing two now and two tomorrow. XD WHEEE.

BUT ANYWAY REVIEWS ARE LOVEEEEE. A few quick comments/concerns:

Kiki: "All in all, holy Axel and the Organization that was hilarious." I stared at this for a good five minutes, and I still have no idea what the hell you're talking about. XD And darling enjoy vacations! You'll just have bunches to come home to. 8D

SoraXxXRiku: I love that quote too. XP

ZESTY YOU FIEND AND YOUR IDEAS! XD ((I'm kidding it's a good thing)) You write whatever you feel like darling. As long as _you_ enjoy it.

And I'm glad that most of you folk aren't freaking out about this crack!ness that will be going down. 8D

SO I'VE BEEN THINKIN ABOUT THIS ONE ALL DAY AT WORK AND I AM EXCITED.

**What If…**

_Axel drank a drop of mistletoe juice, and was _

_affected by its aphrodisiac properties?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Hyper Kid))_

((pretty sure mistletoe is NOT an aphrodisiac, but who the hell cares its fanfiction XD))

"You _what?"_ Axel cried, staring at disbelief at Roxas as they sat at the kitchen in the cafeteria.

"You heard me," Roxas said calmly, "I was assigned Twilight Town Patrol by myself today. You have a mission at Port Royal."

Axel continued to stare. "But…Twilight Town will be all decorated for Christmas!" He looked as if someone has drowned both of his puppies and then threw them into a wood chipper.

Roxas sighed and stood up from the table. "I have to go," he looked down at Axel, sympathetic. "We'll do something fun tonight when I get back, alright?" He offered Axel a reassuring smile.

Axel smirked. "What kind of fun?"

Roxas pinked and glared at him, summoning a portal. After Roxas left, Axel sighed and continued to mope at the table.

-------((oh boys))--------

Vexen smirked as he approached Axel, who had been moping at the table for twenty minutes. _Maybe I _shouldn't_ give him this mistletoe…_ he thought, looking down at the drink he had in his hand. _It will screw with his senses all day. _He grinned at himself. _Nope. I am just that much of a sadistic bastard. _He put on his 'Poor-you' face and approached Axel.

"Aw, poor Number VIII, you actually have to do a real mission today?" Vexen began, sitting down next to him.

"Go screw, Vexen."

Vexen looked hurt. "Now, Number VIII, I'm trying to be nice to you! Look, I even brought you a drink," he continued, putting the glass in front of Axel.

Axel looked at it suspiciously. "Oh, right, I'm supposed to believe that that isn't another one of your crazy concoctions? Riiiiiiight."

Vexen smiled innocently. "It's only hot cocoa. What incentive do I have to mess with you when you are already miserable?"

Axel smiled mockingly. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you're a sadistic bastard?"

Vexen glared, but didn't retort. "What should I do to get you to trust me that this is not anything bad?"

Axel looked at him long and hard. "You have to swear to me on your laboratory that this will not affect me in any negative ways."

Vexen grinned, almost evily. _Sucker._ "I swear, on my laboratory, that this drink will not affect you in any negative ways."

Axel sighed. "Fine." He drank down the entire glass in one gulp. "Mmm. Minty. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, standing up. "Port Royal calls me."

Vexen laughed evilly to himself as Axel summoned a portal and disappeared. "My dear Number VIII, what you'll experience will be anything _but_ negative…"

---------((oh hells))-----

Axel glumly and mindlessly fought through Heartless after Heartless that seemed to never stop infecting Port Royal.

"God this is so _boring!"_ he exclaimed, punctuating his sentence by setting four Soldiers on fire. "Why can't I just go-

_mindlessly screw Roxas into the bed of the Captain's Quarters while the crew is hard at work?_

Axel paused as his thoughts took a dirty turn without his command. "Waiiiit. Wait." he said, slashing downward with his chakrams and inadvertently slaying the Heartless that were sneaking up on him. "Has my dirty mind finally gotten a mind of its own? It's impossible, just like when Roxas told Demyx that dust bunnies cannot come alive-

_or the time when Roxas did that _extraordinary _thing with his tongue-_

"Woah!" Axel said, ducking as a Large Body pushed him towards the wall. "This is getting distracting! What the hell could have caused such a thing?"

He thought for a few seconds before massacring the Large Body in front of him.

"_Vexen._ Now I have to hurry up and finish this, and go home and-

_find Roxas so he can live in my bedroom for the next 48 hours-_

"NO!" Axel said, falling to his knees in half delirium from the fantasies and memories and half from frustration. "This is going to kill me."

Axel quickly began to dispatch the rest of the Heartless to get to the bottom of this.

--------((::hits fast forward:: ))-------

Axel appeared from a portal immediately into Vexen's laboratory, where Vexen was hard at work at a potion. "Vexen! What the _hell_ did you do?"

Vexen chuckled to himself and turned to face Axel. "Number VIII! You've returned to _quickly-"_

Axel shoved Vexen into the wall and held him up by his robe.

_I wish that it was Roxas that I had shoved up against this wall, tight against my-_

Axel shook himself, and glared at Vexen. "What did you give me?!"

"Nothing but a bit of mistletoe!"

Axel paused. "How is an aphrodisiac _not_ negative?"

Vexen looked at him calmly. "I don't think _anyone_ would think that an aphrodisiac negative, Number VIII."

Axel growled in frustration, dropping Vexen to the ground and going up the stairs to his bedroom. _I need to take a shower._

--------((more fast forwarding))-----

Once in the cold shower, Axel sighed in relief. _Finally I can just relax-_

_As Roxas steps in beside me, rivulets of water running down his smooth chest to his-_

"Gyah!" Axel cried, turning the water to a colder setting. "There has got to be a way to make this wear off faster!" He stepped out of the shower, still sexually frustrated, to walk into his bedroom and find-

_Roxas, strewn out on his bed on his side, in naught but a pair of Christmas boxers, grinning up at him and beckoning towards him to-_

Axel shook his head as he walked into his bedroom, finding it empty. Axel sighed and collapsed onto the bed.

"This sucks."

At that precise moment, a portal formed and Roxas entered his bedroom, bearing two sea salt ice creams and-

_many different sex toys-_

Axel smacked himself upside the head, deftly and silently taking an ice cream from Roxas. Roxas looked at him questioningly.

"Don't. Ask." Axel said, eating his ice cream. Axel watched as Roxas took his ice cream and

_slowly wrapped his tongue around it, pulling it slowly into his mouth, before sucking on the-_

"Shit!" Axel suddenly called out, throwing his ice cream down onto his desk and pulling Roxas onto the bed, pinning him under him.

"The hell, Axel?" Roxas said, irritated he wasn't able to finish his ice cream.

"Rox, you've gotta help me!" Axel said, looking down at him, tormented. "Vexen gave me an aphrodisiac-"

Roxas snorted, trying not to laugh. Axel glared at him and continued, "And it's driving me up the wall! You've got to make it stop!"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "And how, exactly, am I supposed to make it go away?"

Axel made a noise of frustration and slammed his lips into Roxas', forcing his chin up and sliding a hand up to unzip Roxas' cloak. He made quick work of Roxas' cloak, never once breaking contact, and momentarily pulled back to pull of his shirt. He gently caressed the inside of Roxas' mouth with his tongue, making Roxas groan involuntarily. Axel pulled back, smiling.

"Just let me have my way with you, kay?"

Roxas smirked, panting slightly. "Well," Roxas started, deviously reaching down south of the border as Axel's eyes widened. "I did promise you something fun, didn't I?"

"You did," Axel choked out as he brought himself over Roxas again, closing the distance between them.

---------------

WHEEE! ONE DOWN CHILDREN.

YOU BETTER REVIEW BOTH OF THEM. XD

freaky-hanyou


	38. The Pole: AkuRoku

You know. I just realized that if I didn't write these I'd have no life at all on the computer?

Sad. XD

haha look at that! Two reviews already!

hahah OH. Man, Kiki, I was so confused. IHAVEANAXELPLUSHIE. 8D AND Zesty, I was going to ask for New Years, but then I was like….Nah.

((Hyper now. Beewaaaree!))

OO RARE! 50 PERCENT OF THE STATS HAVE REVIEWED! (CUZ ONLY 4 have read so far! XD)

Anyway.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas were taking a walk on Christmas Eve before the big Organization _

_dinner, and both their tongues stuck miraculously close together on a frozen pole?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Zesty))_

"I'm not doing it, Axel."

"But why not, Roxy? Don't you want to know what happens?" Axel said, whining as they walked down the snowy path in Twilight Town.

"Because I know what happens! I've seen the Christmas Story." Roxas said, stopping and pointing at the metal pole next to them. "You put your tongue on that, and it is not coming off unless you burn it away."

"Roxaaaaaas!" Axel said, turning to Roxas and pouting. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"Please with cheese?"

"No!"

"What about please with me?"

Roxas twitched. "No, Axel. Now come on or we'll be late for dinner."

Axel held Roxas by the shoulders, forbidding him to summon a portal. "What if I don't want to?" he said deviously.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Not now Axel, I'm hungry." He tried to dismiss him, but Axel just would not be dismissed. "Axel! Let go!"

"Not until you kiss me," Axel said, whispering as me moved closer.

Roxas stared at him. "You just get these random urges all day don't you?" However, he stopped trying to pull away.

Axel smiled. "What can I say? It's snowing, and we're alone, and besides," he moved close enough so that his words formed on Roxas' lips, "I want you to touch your tongue to _something."_

Roxas' eyes widened as Axel placed a searing kiss to his lips, pivoting so he could push Roxas against the pole. Unfortunately, a patch of black ice happened to reside there, and as Axel pushed his tongue past Roxas' lips, both of them slipped and fell onto the pole, their tongues landing directly where Roxas didn't want them to. They stuck steadfast onto the pole, inches away from each other. Axel had his arms pinned between Roxas and the pole, and Roxas had a hand stuck under Axel's arm.

"Well," Axel said, trying to smile, "I bed dis woud dee an intehesting thight to thee!"

Roxas growled and smacked Axel upside the head with his free hand. "You dumbass! How awe we thupposed to get to dinner now? I'm hungwy dammit!"

Axel laughed. "You thound like you'e thwee!"

"Tho do you. Now get uth out of this!" Roxas ground out.

"Firtht you have to thay I was born on a pirate ship with a bunch of apples!"

Roxas sighed. "Fine! I was born on a pile of shit with a bunch of assholes. Now get uth out of here!"

Axel smirked. "You hath to fwee my handth firtht."

Roxas fidgeted, and eventually one of Axel's hands managed to finagle out from behind Roxas' side.

"This might get hot," Axel warned, striking a small match with his fingers and putting it next to Roxas' tongue. Within a few minutes, the metal around Roxas' tongue heated up and his tongue was free.

Since Roxas was free, and Axel had free use of his hands, he was about to free himself when Roxas grabbed both of his hands and held them fast.

"Promise me you won't_ever_ make out with me near a cold metal pole _EVER _again."

"I pwomise I pwomise!" Axel said, laughing, before releasing his hands and making short work of his tongue on the pole. He then wrapped his arm around Roxas, laughing.

"Come on, we're late for dinner!" He called out, summoning a portal.

"At least no one saw that whole embarrassing affair," Roxas muttered, stepping into the portal after Axel.

Little did they know that Demyx sat in a nearby bush, snickering as he put away his video camera.

"Oh man, there is going to be some interesting Christmas entertainment tonight!" he said, cackling, as he summoned a portal.

---------------

ahhah THAT WAS FUN. Oh man. I pronounced EVERY sentence while holding my tongue. Kinda short, but still amazing. XD

LEAVE THE LOOOOVEEEE!

freaky-hanyou


	39. Jealousy: AkuRoku

::skips about:: ALRIGHT TWO MORE FOR YOU LURVLIES FOR CHRISTMAS. And I have decided that that be a new rule so things like the Dora one appear around Halloween.

::ahem:: If there is a What If regarding a Holiday, it will be pushed up through the massive of giantness list to the front so it will appear on time. 8D

HERE WE GO DARLINGS.

**What If…**

_Larxene and Axel got caught under the mistletoe,_

_and this was the first time everyone saw Roxas jealous?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

"Go long Roxas!" Axel said as he threw the football across the dining room after Christmas dinner. Most of the Organization was still milling about, sitting and chatting and watching the antics of the two. Axel chuckled to himself as Roxas sprinted across the room, dodging chairs and Nobodies as he made a diving grab for the ball. _Roxas is such a fun drunk,_ Axel thought gleefully as Roxas stood up, laughing.

"Awright, Axe, _you_ go long!" Roxas cried out, giggling, as he lobbed the ball pretty far down the length of the dining room. Axel looked up as the ball when over his head, running backwards to catch it. He caught the ball, but he ran straight into Larxene in the doorway as she chatted with Marluxia.

"Hey! Watch it asshole!" she snarled, elbowing him in the ribs. "Just because you two are punch drunk doesn't mean we all have to suffer."

Axel grinned deviously. "_I_ do not get affected by such a drink." He chuckled. "Besides, I'm drinking Pepsi! I'm just naturally crazy." He gave the peace sign and moved towards stepping out from the doorway when Marluxia grabbed his shoulder.

"Not so fast," he said, smirking his Trademark!Marluxia smirk. "I do believe you owe someone here a kiss."

Axel looked at him as if he just told him and 2 plus 2 equaled spaghetti with meatless meatballs. "Who, exactly?"

Marluxia laughed at him. "Oh not me, you're not my type," he said, grinning at Larxene. "Her, of course! You two _are_ standing under the mistletoe. I am standing _near_ it."

Axel gaped. "But…drunk Roxas will think-"

"Come on Axel, its Christmas tradition!" Marluxia said, his grin turning more sadistic as he noticed that drunken Roxas was paying rapt attention to the situation. "Just give her a smooch."

Axel growled in frustration. "_FINE_." He quickly grabbed Larxene by the shoulders and dipped her down for a quick kiss before quickly bringing her back up.

"My, my Axel, whatever will Roxas think?" Marluxia said, shocked, as he looked over at Roxas, who looked as if he was going to burst into tears.

Axel looked stricken. "But, you just said-"

"Larxene, did I say anything?" Marluxia grinned at her.

"You were talking?" Larxene said, pretending to be confused. "Axel randomly kissing me just threw off my senses," she continued, pretending to faint. Marluxia caught her and smiled at Axel.

"You better go make up with your girlfriend." Axel resisted the urge to punch Marluxia in the face and ran over to where Roxas stood, staring in shock at the doorway. He seemed torn between wanting to cling to Axel and wanting to scream at him. He settled for half of both, and held Axel's hand as he got angrier and angrier.

"Roxas-"

"Not a word." Roxas said calmly, sobering slightly. "You're mine, remember?" he whispered, clearly hurt.

"But Roxas, the mi-"

"I don't care, dammit!" he said, pulling roughly away from Axel. "Just…leave me alone!" Roxas stormed off, still on the verge of drunken tears. Axel tried to follow, but Roxas turned around with blue flames in his eyes. "Don't even _think_ of following me, _flame-boy!"_

Marluxia snorfled in his punch as Roxas stormed past.

------------

Axel marched straight up to Roxas' door and knocked calmly.

"Go away Axel."

Axel sighed and summoned a portal into Roxas' room. "You know that locking me out is useless," he said, sitting on the bed next to the lump that was Roxas.

"You said you'd never hurt me Axel."

Axel winced, remembering that very event…

-------((A FLASHBACK!))----------

Roxas stormed into his bedroom and smothered himself into his pillow. He had only been in the Organization for 2 weeks, and it seemed that everyone was out to get him. _Even Number VIII set my dinner on fire today…I thought he was my friend._

As if on cue, said Flurry of Dancing Flames appeared through a portal into Roxas' bedroom.

"Hey, Rox-"

"Number XIII."

"Roxas, why did you storm off? I thought you and I were going to explore Twilight Town?" Axel sat down next to the lump that was Roxas and poked it.

Roxas fidgeted. "Why don't you go hang out with your _friends?"_ he said icily.

Axel looked hurt. "But you are my friend…"

Roxas looked up at him angrily. "Then why did you set my dinner on fire today?"

Axel snorted. "That was an accident! Demyx provoked me using the powers of the flaming dust busters of doom!"

Roxas blinked at him. _I really do not want to know about that._ He sighed in frustration and shoved his face into his pillow. "No one likes me here…"

Axel rubbed his back comfortingly. "I do! I'll never hurt you intentionally Rox, I promise," he said sincerely, continuing to sit with him for the rest of the night.

-----((END FLASHBACK!))-----

Axel looked at Roxas, clearly torn. "But I didn't _mean_ to hurt you Roxas! Marluxia provoked me!"

Roxas ignored him. "If you don't want to stay with me, then just go then."

Axel made a noise of frustration and gathered the Roxas bundle in his arms. "Listen, dammit! Why would I try on purpose to lose the most important person in my miserable life?!" he said, tormented, as he pulled Roxas closer. "Why would I want to lose you?"

Roxas inadvertently melted against Axel, sighing. "But you're so _mean_ sometimes," Roxas said playfully.

Axel sighed in relief._Thank goodness he's forgiven me for that fiasco. _"I know, but its apart of my devilish debonair appeal, right?"

Roxas laughed as he turned to look up at Axel. "Of course it is." he said dryly.

Axel chuckled. "Come here, you little fiend." He closed in on Roxas for a sweet, 'Thank-god-I'm-forgiven' kiss.

---------

ONE DOWN. AND NO, Axel was not turned into an ad for pepsi. I just picked a pop. XD

YOU BETTER LEAVE CHRISTMAS LOVE FOR BOTH!

freaky-hanyou


	40. The Cookie Sutra: Zemyx

Oh man I am going to have SO MUCH FUN with this one. All because dear Aranel71390 gave me the _perfect_ idea for the gift. XD It like shaped the plot.

ANYWAYS. Woah chap 40.

**What If…**

_Demyx gave Zexion an unsigned Christmas present,_

_and just to throw Zexion off,_

_started giving him the cold shoulder?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Zesty))_

Zexion walked into his room, clearly exhausted from an invigorating five hour trip to the library._ I'm really starting to hate these research papers,_ he thought as he fell straight onto his bed.

However, said fall was interrupted by a smack to the face by a present that was lying on his pillow. He swore, but when he noticed the gift, he picked it up, intrigued.

"What's this?" he wondered aloud as he read the card.

_Zexy-_

_I hope we get to try some of these out later!_

_XD_

"Demyx," Zexion said, grinning as he opened the package. His eyes widened as he came upon The Cookie Sutra, which was the Kama Sutra acted out by gingerbread men and women. His eyes widened as he turned the pages. He put the book down quickly on the desk, flustered.

_I've gotta go find Demyx, _he thought,_ or a cold shower._

---------------

Demyx sat there, chuckling to himself in the cafeteria as he ate his pudding. _This is going to be great,_ he thought, watching the door for Zexion to come in. _Here he comes!_ Demyx quickly quelled his giggles and put on a solemn face, quietly eating his pudding.

"Demyx!" Zexion called, walking up to him. Demyx remained passive, calmly eating his pudding.

Zexion looked at him, perplexed. "Don't you want to…_discuss…_you're present?"

Demyx looked up at him, unaffected by Zexion's innuendo. "I don't know what you're talking about, Zexion." With that, he quietly stood up, perfectly composed, and walked out of the cafeteria. Once out of earshot, he collapsed into a fit of giggles. Marluxia walked by on his way to the cafeteria and gave him the 'what-in-hell?' look.

---------------

Meanwhile, Zexion sighed as he collapsed into a chair in the cafeteria, still sexually frustrated. _I was _positive _that Demyx gave me that book,_ Zexion reasoned,_ who else could it be? I leave my door unlocked, so anyone could get in…but who would _want_ to give it to me?_ Zexion shuddered as he mentally went through a list of people. _It could have been Axel as a gag gift,_ he continued,_ or-_

As if on cue, his thoughts were interrupted by an entrance of Marluxia into the cafeteria. Zexion paused. _It couldn't be…_

"Marluxia?"

Marluxia turned around, smiling his usual 'I'm-always-hiding-secrets' look. "Yes, Number VI?"

"Did you give me a Christmas present?"

Marluxia, always ready to jump on a bandwagon destined for ruin, smiled and nodded. "Of course. Did you get it?"

Zexion gaped. "You-_You're _the one who gave me The Cookie Sutra?"

Marluxia almost lost his calm and composed look. He covered up his almost laugh with a sexy smile. "Of course I did. Didn't you _like_ it?" he said, smirking.

Zexion looked down at the table. "I'm sorry, Marluxia, I-"

"Oh come on," Marluxia said, approaching Zexion and running his hand over Zexion's shoulders. Zexion stiffened. "You know you want to try it, Number VI."

Zexion sat still, still clearly flustered. "But not with-"

"Just think about it," Marluxia whispered into his ear, "_Zexy."_

_--------------_

Zexion walked into Demyx's room, clearly stunned as he sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Demyx said, pretending to be immersed in the television as he drank his pop."

"Marluxia just told me that he was the one who left The Cookie Sutra on my pillow as a Christmas present."

Demyx spewed pop all over the television. "He _what?"_

Zexion looked at him, semi-frightened. "I didn't _know_ he liked me Demyx, or I wouldn't have accepted it-"

Demyx stood up, cutting him off. "That's not it, Zexion. _I_ gave you The Cookie Sutra! To think that he would take the credit-"

"_You_ did?! But you told me you didn't!" Zexion said, standing up as well.

"I was just screwing with you!" Demyx said, turning. "I'm going to go kill that bastard…"

Zexion sighed and turned Demyx around. "He probably escaped to a mission…Besides," he said, his tone taking a seductive glint, "you said something about screwing me?"

Demyx pinked as Zexion continued, "After all, you _did_ give me The Cookie Sutra. And I've just been _itching_ all morning to try some…"

Demyx laughed as Zexion led him to his bedroom.

-----------

That. Was so much fun. You have no idea. WELL OBVIOUSLY this over updation the past two days was to make up for not updating today or possibly tomorrow, SO MY LOVELIES.

MEEEEEEEERYYY CHRISTMAS!!!

freaky-hanyou


	41. How Vexen Stole Christmas

So. Since you folk are crazy, and I'm not tired, I'm going to write. XD

AND I'M SAYING IT NOW DAMMIT. NOMORECHRISTMASFICSKAY:-D

They're fun, but still. I have an after Christmas one which is cool, I'll switch it up a bit and itll work, AND THEN I have a New Years.

So lay off the Christmas, kay::loves::

You people made me happy after my funcrazyday.

AND you people must thank Aranel71390, who has the flipping Grinch _memorized,_ and is the main source for the fic. XD

**What If…**

_Vexen, despising all of Christmas, decides to ruin Christmas_

_for the rest of the Organization by sneaking into _

_their rooms and stealing their gifts?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely OnlyinthisLight))_

Vexen grumbled to himself as he poured over his work in the laboratory. _So many experiments at once, it's a good thing I'm so organized,_ he grinned to himself, _or nothing would ever get done!_

"Number IV! Come up here, the Christmas Eve dinner is about to start!"

Vexen grumbled at the sound of The Superiors voice. _Oh well, _he sighed, standing. _I guess these stupid little 'holidays' can't be helped. At least we get to drink on New Years,_ he thought darkly, reaching behind him and grabbing his drink. Unfortunately, he grabbed the beaker to the left of his drink, which held bright green liquid and was labeled 'The Grinch Formula.' He gagged and his eyes widened as he realized what he had drunk, but his countenance was overtaken, turning a slightly darker tint.

He snarled at the noise coming from upstairs. "There they are, playing their games and chatting away!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically _here!"_ He dramatically slunked over to the stairs, listening upstairs. "I must find someway to keep Christmas from coming!" he growled, "All too well do I know what will happen when the Organization members wake up bright and early. They'll rush for their…._toys…"_ he said, shuddering, "and then, oh, the noise, noise, noise!" He vaguely remembered the interesting sounds he remembered hearing from Axel's room the year before.

He snarled even more grinch-like than before. "And then those members young and old will sit down to a feast, and they'll feast and they'll feast, and they'll feast feast feast feast!" He smirked with an evil sneer. "I must stop this whole thing! Why for many years, I've put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?" He stood puzzled in thought.

He chuckled and went over to his 'Special Closet'. "I know just what to do!" Vexen said, with a laugh in his throat. "I'll pull out my 'special' Santa Claus hat and coat!"

He strolled into the middle of the laboratory, thinking some more. "All I need is a reindeer." He looked around the laboratory, but none were to be found. Did this stop Vexen? Bah! Vexen simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead." Then, Vexen took a small beaker and tied a little antler to the top. "There!"

"Vexen! Get your ass up here or The Superior will turn you into a Dusk!"

Vexen growled, momentarily stripping off his coat and his hat. "I'll put this plan into fruition," he muttered, "you can be sure of that!"

----((You're a mean one, Number IV, you really are a heel!))---

After dinner, Vexen snuck away to his laboratory to finish his preparations. When all the Organization members had fallen asleep, he snuck upstairs with his reindeer, Todd, and some assorted bags to stuff the presents in.

"This is stop number one!" he whispered, standing outside Roxas' door. He quietly opened the door, and slithered and slunked with a smile most unpleasant, until he had gathered every last present. He cackled and snuck towards the door, when dear Roxas awoke with a loud lengthy snore. Vexen turned around and stopped in his tracks.

"Vexen," a slightly drunk Roxas said groggily, "what the _hell_ are you doing?"

Vexen paused, an evil idea coming to him. "Why my dear Roxas!" he said, smiling cheerily. "This new keyblade has a chain that isn't hooked on quite tight! So I'm taking it back to my workshop to fix it up right!" He laughed merrily, shaking his belly.

Roxas stared at him, rubbing his eyes slightly before rolling over. "Whatever Vexen. Just finish your fantasy somewhere that _isn't_ my room.

Vexen cackled and continued on his journey.

---((you're as cuddly as a cactus you're as charming as an eel, Number IV!))—

Vexen sat around with his mountain of presents, decided how to dispose of them in his laboratory. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!" he said, grinning happily. "They're just waking up; I know just what they'll do. Their mouths will hang open and they'll all cry, boo-hoo! That's a noise," grinned Vexen, "that I simply must hear!"

He stood near the stairwell to hear the conversation.

An obviously hung-over Axel was walking down to breakfast with Roxas, to meet with all the other confused members in the cafeteria.

"What the hell happened to my presents?" he said angrily.

Zexion sighed. "I guess they were stolen," he said, shrugging.

Roxas shrugged. "I can't remember anything," he said, rubbing his head.

Axel grinned. "You know the best way to heal a hangover is more liquor!" he cried, pulling out a case of beer. The rest of the members shrugged, finding no presents to open, decided to have another party like last night.

And Vexen stood at the foot of the stairs puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?" he wondered. "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" He puzzled and puzzled and puzzled some more, and then Vexen thought of something that he hadn't thought of before. "Maybe Christmas," he thought, with a smile on his face, "doesn't come in a bag, but in a case!"

Vexen decided right then and there, that whatever Christmas was or it wasn't, he really didn't care. So he walked up the stairs with all the presents, full of glee, and shoved them back under the Christmas tree! Then, after apologizing to the other members for this drunken chore, he got so drunk that he forgot that he was had drank the potion, and became the sour Vexen we all know once more.

----------------

ahha That was the Effed up How Vexen Stole Christmas. Look i even invented some of my own rhymes!

Once again.

MERRRRYYYYYCHRRIIISTMAAAAAAAAS!

freaky-hanyou


	42. New Year's Eve: Zemyx & AkuRoku

::frolics about:: HEY CHILDREN! GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS!?

ITS STORY PIMPING TIME!

And I hope you all had a good Christmas and all that. XD

YOU MUST GO READ:

A Christmas Wish by Zesty! (Zestychicken2) DO IT DAMMIT. 8D

AND if you all like POTC, then go read Honorbound by Aranel71390. Its basically POTC written in Norrington's POV. Its excellent business right there.

AND she also has a Haldir/Legolas story up there if you feel like checking that one out. XP

BUT ANYWAY THIS ONE AND ONE MORE HOLIDAY FIC And THEN business As usual!

But yeah for this one I was like….Zexion? Drunk? How could that ever happen?

I could only think of one answer. HEee!

ALRIGHT HERE WE GOES. FIRST! A brief proof lesson from wiki:

"The proof number is twice the percentage of the alcohol content. Therefore "80 proof" is 40 alcohol by volume, and pure alcohol is "200 proof"."

**What If…**

_The Organization got totally smashed on New Years Eve, and Zexion and Axel_

_confuse Demyx and Roxas, _but_ Demyx and Roxas are the only_

_two that are sober?_

The Superior cleared his throat over the normal dinner chatter to make the cafeteria go silent.

"Tonight there will be festivities-"

"meaning booze-" Axel interrupted.

The Superior glared at him. "for New Year's Eve in the cafeteria tonight. I expect everyone to be perfectly capabable of working the next morning. That is all."

Axel looked over at Roxas and grinned. "Tonight's going to be a blast!"

-------((a brief fast forward))----

Zexion sighed as he watched the festivities begin with a game of Beer Pong. He watched as Demyx and Roxas danced by the stereo, clearly having a good time.

He sighed louder as Marluxia sat down next to him.

"The fuck do you want Marluxia? Go get drunk like the others."

Marluxia feigned hurt. "My dear Zexion, why must you hurt me so? After all, I'm only looking out for your well-being," he said, eyes glinting evilly.

Zexion looked at him warily. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing!" Marluxia said, 'innocently', "I just want you to loosen up a little! Go have fun with everyone!" Marluxia grinned, handing him a drink. "Here's your first." Zexion raised an eyebrow. "And if you don't want to listen to me, then just drink that one and continue pouting here."

Zexion sighed and took a tiny sip, smiling slightly. "…Aright."

Marluxia grinned and patted him on the shoulder, standing up to go join Larxene by the liquor. "Too bad for you Zexion," he muttered, "That that is my special mix of 100 proof vodka, and _you're_ a lightweight." He chuckled to himself, almost skipping over to the liquor station.

--------((Meanwhile))-------

"Rrrrrrroxas!" Axel slurred, stumbling over to where Roxas and Demyx were dancing. He collapsed into Roxas' arms, laughing. "There's like, _twelve_ of you on this dance floor. How did you do that man?" Axel gave him a noogie.

Roxas growled, pushing him onto the floor. "Shit, Axel, go win another game of Beer Pong or something!"

"I already won 5…" Axel said, pointing a finger into the air triumphantly. "The floor is soft…"

Suddenly, Zexion strode over to both Roxas and Demyx, looking concerned. He stared at both of them, unblinking.

"Zexy….what's wrong?" Demyx said slowly.

Zexion addressed both Roxas and Demyx as if they were the same person. "There are unicorns being turned into pocket protectors in the kitchen," he said with mild panic in his voice. "Demyx! We have to go save them!" He stared at Roxas and Demyx a moment, confusion etched onto his face, before reaching out and grabbing Roxas' hand, thinking that he had grabbed the mass of blob that was Demyx, and started off for the kitchen. Roxas, alarmed, turned around to see Demyx being tackled by Axel.

----((cut to Axel and Demyx))---

"Roxy how did you get your hair done like Demyx's in the span of…." he thought for a long moment. "Three minutes? It's _amazing!"_ He marveled, running his fingers through it. "And you grew! In _three minutes!"_ Demyx shuddered, pulling away.

"Axel, it _is_ Demyx," he said, pulling Axel towards the table. "Come on, you sit down and I'll get you some aspirin…"

"Pshh, screw that!" Axel cried, dragging Demyx around like a limp noodle. "Let's go bring in the New Year _properly_ in _my _room," he said, winking as he dragged Demyx away.

Demyx's eyes widened. _Oh shit…_

------((cut to Zexion and Roxas))----

Roxas silently panicked as Zexion pulled him into the kitchen.

"They aren't in here," he said calculatedly, "The gnomes must have hidden their immoral practices in my bedroom," he reasoned, storming off with Roxas in tow.

Roxas was pulled along in confusion, being quickly pulled along by Zexion towards his bedroom.

"Zexion, you do realize that I'm-"

"Hush!" he said, turning around and glaring. "You'll scare them away, Number IX!"

Roxas glared at him and shut up. As they entered Zexion's bedroom, Zexion quickly looked in the closet and under the bed. "They're not here…" He looked over at Roxas. "You shrunk, Demyx."

Roxas sighed. "I'm not-"

Zexion was suddenly angry. "Not only did you scare off the unicorn-killing-gnomes, you _shrunk! _What the _hell_ is wrong with you, Number IX?!" Zexion pinned Roxas against the wall, holding him up by his robe. Roxas gulped but continued glaring.

Suddenly, Zexion dropped Roxas to the floor and collapsed onto his bed, sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know it hurts you whenever I call you Number IX! I can't help it!" he whimpered, "it's just those damn _gnomes_ have got me all worked up!"

Roxas held back a snort in his throat as Zexion continued to cry quietly on his bed. Roxas sighed. _I hope Axel doesn't traumatize Demyx…_ He hesitantly sat next to Zexion on the bed, rubbing his back soothingly. "It's okay, Zexion, we'll get them soon enough," he crooned, making small circles on his back.

Zexion looked over at him with watery eyes. "You mean it?"

Roxas smiled. "Of course! Let's get you to bed, alright?"

Zexion sniffled, and pulled off everything but his boxers. Roxas blushed as Zexion cuddled under the covers, and quickly got up to leave.

Zexion looked alarmed. "Where are you going?!"

"To bed…" Roxas said warily.

"Stay with me!" Zexion said commandingly.

"…Why?"

"Because the gnomes might turn me into a pocket protector!"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "I thought that they only used unicorns?"

"They have other models."

Roxas sighed and pulled off his boots. "I guess," he said resigned, crawling into the bed.

"Why are you sleeping with your cloak on? Take it off! I know you only sleep in boxers _sometimes_ Demyx," Zexion grinned.

Roxas pinked and looked over at him. "…You're right, _Zexy,"_ Roxas said, stripping down to his boxers and crawling in beside Zexion.

Zexion wrapped his arms around Roxas, sighing happily. "'Night, Demyx."

"Night Zexy."

------------((Axel and Demyx!))--------

Demyx wrenched away from Axel as they entered his bedroom. "Now Axel, _listen_ for a moment!"

"Why?" Axel said seductively, stalking Demyx. "We don't even have to talk…." he whispered, preparing for a pounce…

"Let's play a game!" Demyx said, thinking fast.

"OOOH! I wanna play!" Axel said, switching gears easily. Demyx sighed in relief, mind whirring towards possible games.

"We could play a board game?"

Axel made a face. "Bor-ring!"

"Hmm…" Demyx saw Axel begin to get the 'Predator' look in his eye again. "Let's play the Who-Can-Strip-To-Their-Boxers-The-Fastest' game!" he said, wincing even as he said it. "Ready? GO!"

Demyx purposely let Axel win, even when Axel violently ran his foot into the desk trying to strip off his jeans. "I win!" he said triumphantly, approaching the now boxer-clad Demyx. "Now what's my prize?" he questioned seductively, pulling Demyx to bed with him.

"Candy in the morning," Demyx said decisively.

Axel thought for a moment. "Nope, I don't want any candy!" he pushed Demyx down on the bed, leaning over him. "I think I want something else…"

"Look out the window! It's the Monopoly guy doing the hoedown!"

Axel leapt off the bed, diving towards the window. "_Where?!"_ He stood there for a few minutes, looking, while Demyx dove under the covers. "You lied," he said accusingly, getting under the covers with Demyx. "You have to be punished," Axel smirked.

"My _god_ how does Roxas put _up_ with your libido!" Demyx groaned, and drew a line on the bed. "There. Axel, this is the Invisible Sex Line. You are not to cross it with any intentions past PG."

Axel stared at the line as if it had done him personal harm. "How dare you invoke the _line?"_

Demyx grinned triumphantly as Axel pouted.

"…Can't we at least cuddle?" Axel said coaxingly.

Demyx sighed. "_Fine."_

Axel squealed and tackled Demyx, smothering his face in his neck. When he moved in for a kiss, Demyx pushed him back. "Cuddling only!"

Axel sighed and settled himself more snuggly around Demyx. "Night Roxy."

"Goodnight Axel."

---------((THE MORNING (AFTER XD) WITH ZEXY AND ROXAS!))------

Zexion groaned as he slowly opened his eyes to the glaring sunlight. _Son of a bitch,_ he thought darkly…_I got drunk._ _What the hell happened? _He tried to roll over, but froze when he found a lump in it. He sighed. _Its probably just Demyx. _He pulled down the covers to find not a sleepy-eyed Demyx, but a sound asleep Roxas cuddled against him. Zexion cried out and leapt out of the bed, falling to the floor and holding his head from the loud noise he caused.

This racket immediately woke Roxas, who was still disoriented from the rude awakening. "The hell Ax-Oh shit…"

"Why are you in my bedroom?" Zexion said, thinking quickly, "Where is Demyx?!"

Roxas sat up in bed, revealing that he too was only wearing boxers. Before he could get a word out, Zexion began panicking even more.

"Oh shit, ohhhh shit, Demyx is going to _maim _me-"

"Calm _down_ dammit!" Roxas called out, throwing a pillow at Zexion. "Listen to me! Yesterday, you and Axel confused Demyx and I and you dragged me here."

"Oh…" Zexion said, brows furrowing. "…Why?"

"You were muttering about unicorns being turned into pocket protectors by gnomes."

Zexion laughed. "What the hell? But I didn't _drink_ anything! I only had what Marluxi-" he stopped. "That little _shit…"_

Roxas laughed. "Leave it to Marluxia. Now-"

He suddenly heard an ear-splitting scream come from the vicinity of Axel's room. Roxas cursed, grabbed his cloak, and started off in that direction. Zexion followed.

-------((oh boy))------

Axel awoke to an ear-splitting headache. He sighed deeply. _And yet another hangover…Good thing I've got my Roxy to comfort me!_ He rolled over to the lump next to him. He wiggled right up to it, whispering, "Mornin' my Roxy…" Demyx groaned and rolled to face Axel.

Axel screamed and leapt out of bed. "_Demyx?! _Why are you here! What happened-?"

Demyx tried to speak, but Axel refused to listen. _There's no way that _I_ would do anything at all with Demyx, and since Roxas has disappeared somewhere, that means…_

"OMIGOD! YOU _RAPED_ me you FIEND!" Axel looked scandalized, covering himself up with his discarded cloak.

Roxas and Zexion chose that moment to walk in on the scene. Axel looked at the door in happiness, flying towards Roxas. "ROXY! HE RAPED me-"

"I did not! You kept coming on to _me!"_

"I was not! I wouldn't-"

"Do you remember?"

Axel paused. "No…BUT I wouldn't come on to anyone but Roxas!" He hugged the Captive!Roxas tightly.

"I know," Demyx said, groaning, "you thought I _was_ Roxas-"

"Oh." Axel said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Did anything…happen?"

Demyx shook his head. "Nope!"

"Thank _god,_" Zexion said, gathering up Demyx's clothes. "I'm sorry about this whole affair guys," he said, looking at Demyx and Roxas, "I don't know how the hell it started-"

"Zexion thought I was Demyx," Roxas supplied shortly.

Zexion pinked. "Well, it all just kinda snowballed from there…"

"Well!" Axel said, clapping his hands together. "That's a fun way to bring in the New Year then!" He helped Demyx out of his bed.

When Roxas looked at the clock, he saw that it was around 8 in the morning. "I don't think breakfast is going to be on time today…I saw The Superior getting his groove on to 'Its Raining Men' yesterday…"

Demyx snickered. "We'll see you guys at breakfast," he said, pulling Zexion out of the room.

Axel laughed. "Anyway!" he said, glancing at Roxas predatorily. "Why don't we bring in the New Year _now?"_

Roxas sighed. "But it's already the New Year Axel."

"But I missed it!" Axel pouted.

"That's your fault," Roxas said, lying on the bed. "I didn't sleep well last night. Let's go back to bed?"

Axel sighed, cuddling in with Roxas. "Tonight then?"

Roxas smiled. "Maybe."

----((ZEXIONANDDEMYX))-----

Demyx collapsed in exhaustion as they reached Zexion's room. "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night," Demyx groaned, "I kept thinking Axel would wake up and rape me!"

Zexion laughed and crawled into bed with him. "Poor Demyx," he said, chuckling, as Demyx glared at him. "Alright, alright! Let's go back to sleep!" He pulled the blankets close around them.

"Hey Zexy?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you know what happened with you two last night?"

Zexion pinked. "Nothing but a few gnomes and unicorns."

Demyx looked at him strangely while Zexion laughed, cuddling him closer.

------------------------------

SERIOUSLY IT JUST WOULDN'T END!! Oh man, I wrote the word Hoedown and went off on like an hour tangent on watching Whose Line Is it Anyways? on Youtube. XD

But yeah THAT was a bitch. R AND R MY CHILDREN!

AND R AND R THE OTHER STORIES! YOUMUSTDOITTTT.

freaky-hanyou


	43. Christmas Lights: Zemyx

K so. Apparently nobody looks at my pimping anymore. AND I WROTE A STORY TOO. XD GOREADZEM!

DO it children.

AND. Darling OnlyinthisLight, I don't _have_ any creativity. Hence this little gem of an idea where _you_ give me ideas. Shhh, the reviewers don't know how important they are. ::whistles::

XD

Anyway. THIS is the last anything involved with Holiday ANYTHING until Valentines. THEN I will jump again. BUT after this is the….CloudSora ::coughs violently::

Could be fun. ON WITH THE SHOW!

AND OMG ZESTY I FORGOT TO CREDIT THE NYEVE ONE TO YOU. ::spazzes:: so I apologize _here_beause I'm so tired to go back and fix it. ::bows::

AND for this one I've decided to back it up a bit and Zexy will not realize his inner gayman yet. 8D

**What If…**

_Zexion was taking down the Christmas lights, slipped, and fell, _

_and Demyx just _happened_ to be there to catch him?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Moogles With Flamethrowers))_

images of Zexion falling from the sky and faceplanting Demyx appear XD))

((Ahem.))

"Why are you taking down the Christmas lights already, Zexy? It's barely even January!" Demyx protested as he walked by a tall ladder with Zexion atop it, taking down the Christmas lights in the cafeteria.

"Because it's past Christmas, Number IX," Zexion stated plainly, "And they're an eyesore."

"You're such a scrooge!" Demyx said, unfazed. He looked up and down the hall before whispering conspiratorially, "You're just like the Superior. We had to put them up inside to keep from 'ruining the foreboding image' of the Castle." He sighed and leaned against the ladder.

Zexion looked down, glaring. "Don't talk bad about your Superiors, Number IX. And call my Number VI, for goodness sake_-shit!"_ Zexion swore as the ladder teetered precariously when Demyx leaned against it. Zexion, never one for having good balance, stumbled and began to lean in Demyx's direction.

"Steady the ladder, IX!" he called out. But it was too late. He tumbled to the ground, and Demyx cried out, steadying himself to catch him…

-----((oh noes!))-----

Zexion groaned as he cracked open one eye to a semi-blurry world. _What the hell happened? I was taking down those infernal lights and…oh yeah, I fell…Then what?_ He opened both eyes to see a white ceiling above him.

He heard a sigh of relief beside him. "You're awake!" Zexion looked over to his left to see Demyx sitting beside him.

"IX-?"

Demyx grinned. "Will you call me Demyx already? I only saved your life!"

Zexion looked at him incredulously. "If you saved my life, then why am I sitting in a bed recovering?"

Demyx pinked and smiled sheepishly. "Well…I caught you, but you're momentum caused me to fall, and you hit your head on a table in the cafeteria."

"How smooth of you…Demyx," he said, trying to sit up, but thinking better of it as a massive headache hit him. "Ouch…"

Demyx hovered over him, concerned. "Sit still! Don't try to get up yet," he whispered, pushing gently on Zexion's shoulders until he fell back on the bed. Demyx lingered a hand softly near Zexion's chin, pulling away quickly before he was noticed.

Zexion turned pink slightly. _What's happening to me? _He thought, averting his eyes from Demyx, _Why am I feeling like this? I should even feel!_

Demyx looked him over, concerned. "Are you alright? You're flushed!" he put a hand gently on Zexion's forehead. "Could you be getting a fever? Maybe being out for a few hours has screwed with your health more than I thought…"

Zexion tried to shrug his hand away. "I'm fine! You could go, and I'll be alright-"

Demyx cut him off by shaking his head. "You can't even get up without feeling dizzy yet! I'm going to stay here and baby you," he said, winking. Zexion flushed again. "First, you need some warm soup!" he stood up, walking towards the door. "I'll be right back Zexy."

Zexion turned his head into the pillow and screamed in frustration.

--------((poor sexually confused Zexion))-------

Demyx smiled to himself as he walked down the hall to his room, laden with a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup. _He's been flushing a lot,_ he thought. _Could he really have a fever? Or could he…_he shook his head at the thought. _There's no way that _Zexion_ of all people would like me…_

He opened the door, smiling. "Here we are Zexy!" He turned to the bed to see Zexion fast asleep.

_Oops…_he thought, setting the soup to the side on his desk. _He needs his rest._ He resumed his seat by the bed, pulling out a good romance novel.

-----((didn't think I forgot about the romance novels did I XD))-----

Zexion stirred, looking around for Demyx. Demyx looked away from his book, smiling. "Did you have a good nap?"

Zexion blinked, smiling slightly. "I did. I'm kind of hungry though," he said, trying to sit up again but failing miserably.

Demyx smiled. "Good! Because I have some hot…Well, it might not be hot any more…" he looked away for a moment. Then he smirked. "I have some good ol' lukewarm soup here for you!"

Zexion chuckled slightly. "Sad thing is, I can't get up to eat it."

Demyx thought about that for a moment. "I'll help you up!" Zexion's eyes widened as Demyx crawled onto the bed with him.

"There's n-no need-"

"Oh hush," Demyx said, crawling between him and the wall, "You have to eat. Here," he put his hand gently behind Zexion's head while reaching to put the other hand behind his shoulders. Slowly, he lifted him up and propped him up against himself as he leaned against the wall. Demyx chuckled. "Now, if only I could reach the soup…" he laughed, pointing to it sitting on his chair.

"I can get it," Zexion whispered, leaning forward and just barely reaching it. He began to eat it, but Demyx stopped him.

"Hey! If you're sick, you deserve to be coddled," he scolded, taking the soup away from him. "Open wide…"

Zexion made a noise of protest. "I'm not a child!"

"But you're an invalid," Demyx said dismissively, "now _eat."_

Zexion blushed as he opened his mouth for Demyx to feed him. He tried not to think about the close proximity they were in as Demyx spooned small amounts of soup to his mouth slowly. _This is kind of nice…but mortifying,_ he thought, looking out of the corner of his eye to see Demyx behind him. _That little shit, he's enjoying this…Two can play this game. _Zexion shut his mouth, pouting.

Demyx leaned forward, looking at him. "Open up already!"

Zexion looked at him as if he was about to throw a temper tantrum. "Don't wanna!" He crossed his arms behind the soup for added effect.

Demyx blinked. "You little shit…" he murmured, looking at the 'baby-Zexion' incredulously. _Fine, I'll play along…_ "Come on, Zexy, you have to eat!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Here comes the aiiiirplane!" Demyx made airplane noises as he brought the soup to Zexion's closed lips. Zexion shook his head again.

"What about the Choo-choo?" Demyx brought the 'Soup Train' to Zexion's mouth. "Open the tunnel!" Zexion shook his head.

Demyx sighed in frustration. "Zexy, you're going to eat this soup if I have to feed it to you myself!"

Zexion turned around slightly, eyes glinting. "Isn't that what you were just doing?"

Demyx grinned evilly, and unwrapped an arm from the front of Zexion. "Not this way…" He took a spoonful of soup into his mouth, and leaned forward quickly, kissing Zexion. Zexion's eyes widened as Demyx pushed his tongue through to Zexion's mouth, 'feeding' him the soup. Demyx pulled away, smacking his lips.

"There!" he said, laughing. "Will you eat now?"

Zexion sat there in Demyx's arms, frozen in place. Demyx panicked slightly. _Oh man, now he's mad at me, he'll never forgive me…_

While Demyx was angsting over Zexion, Zexion pulled the soup out of his grasp and placed it back on the chair. In one fluid movement, he pulled Demyx beneath him, putting his arms out on each side to hold himself up. However, Zexion forgot the fact that he was still weak, and within a few seconds collapsed onto Demyx. Demyx recovered from shock and laughed.

"Dammit…" Zexion groaned into Demyx's chest, "How the hell can I be spontaneous and sexy if I can't even lift myself up!" he said in frustration.

Demyx chuckled, wrapping his arms around Zexion's frame. "You don't have to try to be sexy, Zexy." An epiphany struck Demyx. "Sexy Zexy!" he laughed. Zexion lifted his head to glare at him, blushing profusely. "That's your new nickname now, you know."

Zexion continued glaring. "You call me that in public and die."

Demyx laughed harder. "Anyways, you can be spontaneous when you feel better," he said, pulling Zexion closer. "For now, just rest," he pulled the covers over them and finagled out of his boots.

Zexion sighed and cuddled into Demyx. "Thanks," he said, letting his eyes slide shut. _I think that I could get used to this… _"Night, Demyx."

Demyx kissed his forehead, smiling softly. "Goodnight, my Sexy Zexy."

Zexion groaned and hit him in the shoulder.

----------------------

DONEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OH MAN, that Sexy Zexy business was an actual epiphany AT that moment. XD

It made me chuckle.

NIGHT MY LOVES. HAPPEH NEW YEAR! ((HEE! I WON'T WRITE UNTIL NEXT YEAR!))

freaky-hanyou


	44. The Pride Lands: CloudSora!

HAPPEH NEW YEARS MY DARLINGS::throws confetti::

Eeee. Oh. Man. So I was psyching myself up earlier to write this, and I was like alright come on crazy mood! But it was kinda rebellious, and it kinda died, which I guess it's a good thing, but anyway. SO I will try not to make this disturbingly wrong.

Like any of the other pairings I write aren't disturbingly wrong to some. XD haha i remember one time my online friend Nibzo and i had this HUGE battle over whether Sora should be with Riku or Kairi, and i was all sdjfkldfn RIKUewwwwwww. Ha. Ha.

ANYWAY.

Onlyinthislight. SO like, I wait after I update for a review before I let myself off to bed, and OH MAN. I was dying from your review. A. I fell asleep saying '_Dance, water, Dance!'_ and '_Silence, Traitor.'_ XD I've been trying to find a good sceencap of the part where he goes into BATTLEMODE! but I cant find any. B. Oh man. I didn't even_realize_ the I cant lift myself up line was perverted! and C. SHINY HEART SO. TRUE.

So, if I'm not totally wiped after writing this, cuz I actually have to work tomorrow, Boo. I'll update again. But that's still up in the air.

…I might not make this one too long.

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO! BRACEYERSELVES.

**What If…**

_Cloud found Sora in his Pride Lands form?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely GoGothGirl))_

Sora sighed in relief as he defeated another multitude of Heartless in the Pride Lands without the help of his friends. He collapsed to the ground, exhausted. _Yeesh, how long does a vacation to Disney Castle and Other Places last? _He thought for a moment. _…Where exactly_is_ Other Places?_

He sighed. _I should go visit Riku…_He sighed, shaking his head. _Nah, _he thought again, cheeks pinking slightly. _Or I could go see-_

"Well well, what do we have here?" a voice said above Sora. Sora leapt up to his feet, growling at the smirking cheetah above you. The cheetah looked offended. "No need to be hostile, Sora! I'm kind enough to you whenever we meet in Radiant Garden!"

Sora's eyes widened._It can't be…_

The cheetah's eyes took on a darker hue as his smirk grew wider. "I wish you'd come visit more often Sora."

Sora took a hesitant step towards the cheetah. "Cloud?"

The cheetah nodded slightly, smirking all the more. "I'm glad you recognized me." He took a predatorial step forward, licking Sora on the nose. "Since I _am_ a cheetah, you get a 30 second head start."

Sora stepped backward in reflex, shocked. "Wha-?"

"_One."_ Cloud took a step towards him again, leering. "Two. Three. Better get moving, Sora, if you don't want me to_ catch_ you, Four…"

Sora got the picture, and turned to hightail it towards his Gummi Ship. He fought with himself the entire way, debating. _Do I really want to run? _He slowed down momentarily. _What am I doing?_

"Twenty-nine,_Thirty."_ Cloud smirked as he saw the little brown dot close to the Worlds Exit. _I'll catch him easy._

Just as Sora was nearing the exit, he saw a blur of yellow appear next to him. _I can make it-! _he thought, diving into the exit. Cloud dove in after him, landing on Sora's gummy ship with him, tackling him to the ground.

"Caught you," the Human!Cloud purred, arms propped lazily above Sora's head, holding off most of his weight. He smiled. "You slowed down," he commented.

Sora smiled. "Well, I was debating if I should let you catch me…"

Cloud leaned down and kissed his nose. "I caught you," he murmured.

Sora wrapped his arms around Cloud's shoulders, smiling softly. "I guess I'm yours then…" he reached up and placed a tentative kiss on Cloud's lips. Cloud smiled to himself, returning the kiss, pressing down on Sora softly.

Sora groaned, fisting Cloud's blonde hair while Cloud ran a hand down Sora's chest. Sora almost lost his senses when Cloud began playing with his abdomen, running his hand over his abs and down further…

Sora gasped, breaking apart from Cloud. "_Cloud…_I have to be able to drive…"

Cloud smiled, standing up, pulling Sora with him. "You'll just have to come see me in Radiant Garden, then, so I can visit with you _properly."_

Sora shivered and kissed Cloud goodbye as he left the Gummi Ship. "I'll do just that," he murmured to himself.

---------------------------

sdklfjawioefbnsfljsdklfjsd::smacks self with fishstick:: Yeah can't do more than that. But that wasn't_that _bad…SO I guess I could do some crack. Lay it on. XD

I MIGHT do another. Not sure yet.

UNTIL THEN MY LOVES.

freaky-hanyou


	45. Sleepover: AkuRoku

OMG LAST DAY BEFORE BREAK ENDS. ::Cries:: ….NO, I don't go back in like…5 hours, cuz its 230 right now, but it's the last day I get to stay up. XD SO I am sad. BUT my dad gets up at like. 3 for work so this should be interesting.

AND I HAVE LIKE A WINDFALL OF MY _OWN_ STORY IDEAS. GREAT TIMING MUSE. ::pouting ensues::

And darling OnlyinthisLight, your link didn't show up. -.- you h a v e t o s p a c e I t s o stupid doesn't realize it's a link. ::winks::

SPEEDING ALONG SO I CAN FINISH THIS IN TIME!

((The NEXT day))

WOoops. WELL I went upstairs and mother was asleep on the couch. so I figured I should hightail it downstairs before I got caught. XD AND OMG I WAS JUST PLAYING KH2 IN PROUD MODE AND I HAVE BEEN STUCK AT XALDIN FOR _CENTURIES._ HE HAD LITERALLY ( ) MUCH HP AND WENT INTO KICKYOURASSMODE AND I DIED.

I CRIED. (not really but I was shaking and swearing up a storm) ANYHOO.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas had a 'sleep over' because Axel thought_

_best friends do this all the time?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely zesty))_

Roxas sighed in relief as he finished his report on their last mission to Atlantica. _Finally!_ he thought, glad as he folded into the little envelope all reports went into. _I can't believe I finished that without _any _interruption-_

"ROXY I'M HOOOOOOME!" Roxas' door was kicked open as Axel strolled in, rushing over to where Roxas was sitting to pull him into a hug.

Roxas hugged him back slowly, smiling. _He has impeccable timing._ "What's up Axel?"

Axel looked down at Roxas, smiling happily. "I'm done with my mission! Do I need an _excuse_ to come see my Roxy…?"

Roxas responded immediately as Axel leaned down to kiss him softly. "Marluxia told me the most _interesting_ thing today…" Axel murmured against Roxas' lips as he absently stroked his back.

Roxas swallowed, clearly distracted as Axel's other hand trailed down his chest. "What...did he say?"

"Well he told me about something called a sleep-over…would you like to…_discover_ it with me?" Axel whispered, thrusting against Roxas.

Roxas, although he would never admit it, would _never_ pass up an opportunity to 'discover' anything with Axel. Plus, he was distracted and wasn't thinking about _any _possible drawbacks. "S-sure," he whispered, gripping Axel's cloak for support.

"GREAT!" Axel yelled, stepping back triumphantly. Roxas, surprised, let out a noise of protest as he almost collapsed to the ground.

Regaining his balance, he glared at Axel. "Why can't you just innocently ask me something? You always have to be so underhanded…" he muttered, still pink.

"Because the trick is half the fun," Axel replied deviously, summoning a portal to his room. "Come on! I've already set everything up!" He grabbed Roxas' hand and led the way.

Upon arriving in Axel's room, Roxas' eyes widened at the _girlish_ things that now resided there. He promptly turned around and summoned his own portal. "No way." He said, stepping towards it.

Axel blocked him. "But you said you would!" He gave him the 'you-must-be-a-good-uke-and-obey-my-every-stupid-command-or-I'll-cry' look.

Roxas sighed loudly. "_Fine._ I'll stay and see what this is all about…" He picked up a long, thin tool that looked devious. "The hell is this then?"

"It's a hair straightener! You let it heat up and it makes it straight! Marluxia told me that must be done at _every_ sleepover!"

Roxas unconsciously reached up, holding his precious spiky and messy hair. "You want to straighten my hair?" Axel nodded. Roxas looked at him, glaring slightly. "…Will your hair even _straighten?"_

"I can try!" Axel said, giggling.

Roxas sighed and sat down on the ground as Axel plugged in the straightener and sat behind him. "Just _don't_ burn me," Roxas warned.

"Sure thing!" Axel said, saluting. Roxas groaned. _I'm doomed._

---------((20 minutes later))-----

"DONE!" Axel said, accomplished, pulling one of Roxas' short locks through the straightener one last time. He held up a mirror, smiling. "Look how cute you are!"

Roxas deadpanned at the mirror. His normally short, spiky hair had been flattened so that the entire mass came down just barely past his ear. If looked at cross-eyed, he could pass for a high-school age girl. "What. The hell."

Axel's mouth twitch, trying to keep his laughter in. "Come on! It looks _fine!"_

Roxas continued to stare in the mirror. "I'm spiking it back up," he said, standing.

Axel pouted, standing as well. "Can't you do that tomorrow?" he gave him a pleading look.

Roxas sighed and sat back down. _Why can't I ever win an argument against him?_ "Fine. Give me the straightener." Axel clapped his hands together, sitting back down in front of Roxas.

Roxas looked at the fluffy tangled mass of spikes before him. "Do you even _brush_ your hair Axel?"

Axel chuckled. "Never!" Roxas rolled his eyes. _This could take a while…_

------((A good 2 hours later))-----

Roxas put down the straightener, sighing in exhaustion. "I think I'm done," he said, holding up the mirror. Axel looked into it stunned. His hair came down just past his shoulders, slightly covering his eyes from the sides.

Roxas coughed. _Of course, _I_ look like an idiot, but _he_ looks undeniably sexy._ "V-very nice, Axel," he said dismissively, standing up. "Now what?"

"What?" Axel said, confused, standing up. "Don't I look good?" he said uncertainly, self-consciously holding the ends of his hair.

"Of course you do," Roxas said, turning around to face him. Axel gasped at the lustful gaze Roxas gave him. "_Very _good," he continued, stepping into Axel and snaking his arms over his neck. He planted a short kiss on his lips. Axel groaned, lifting Roxas up to angle him for a longer, more lengthy kiss. Roxas smirked, pulling away. "Who said that they wanted a sleep over?" he pulled himself out of Axel's embrace, standing back.

Axel looked down, pouting. "I did."

"So what are we going to do next?"

Axel shook himself, smiling. "Makeup!"

Roxas looked at him, surprised. "Come again?"

----((evil cackle))----

"Come _on,_ Roxy!" A fully-made up Axel, eye-shadow and all, complained as he pinned Roxas against the wall. "Just a liiiitle bit?"

"No, dammit!" he retorted, ducking out from under Axel's arm. "I don't know _why_ you think we need makeup, or _how_ you know how to put _on_ makeup, but there is no need for makeup! End of story!"

Axel gave him 'The Look' again. Roxas wavered, but continued to hold his ground. Axel sighed. "I guess you don't want to have fun with me then…"

Roxas started. "That not-! Fine…" he said, sitting defeatedly on the bed and patiently obeyed as Axel made him look _more_ like a drag queen with eyeliner and lipstick.

"Perfect!" Axel said, standing up. "Now for the final touch!"

"We aren't putting on dresses and going clubbing, are we?" Roxas said hesitantly.

Axel laughed. "Of course not silly! We're going _sleeping bag riding!"_

Roxas blinked. "What the hell is that?"

Axel rummaged about in his closet for two cylinder-like blankets. "These are sleeping bags," he explained, grinning. "We go to the largest set of stairs we can find, get in them, and slide down!"

Roxas looked at the bags warily. "Is that what they were made for?"

Axel looked at them as well. "I don't know, really, but it sounds fun! Come on!" He opened up a portal, and Roxas followed Axel to the main entrance of the castle, where the largest staircase was.

---------((Meanwhile…))-----

Larxene sat behind a statue in the entrance hallway, waiting. _Whatever Marluxia claimed was coming this way and worth taking pictures of better come soon…_ she thought darkly. As if on cue, two organization members suspiciously feminine-looking appeared holding two strange blankets.

Larxene sat up and whipped out her camera, restraining her laughter. "Oh, this is perfect," she muttered, beginning to take pictures…

-----((anyway!))-----

"You sure about this Axel?" Roxas said, warily looking down the vast staircase.

"Why not? No one ever comes in this way anyway," he explained, "it has to be used for something." He unfolded his sleeping bag and got inside. "Here goes!" He pushed himself off the stairs and flew down, knocking into the sides of the staircase as he went. Once he reached the bottom, he rolled to the side, laughing. "This is amazing Rox! Try it!"

Roxas sighed and reluctantly unrolled his sleeping bag. "Here goes nothing…" He got inside and pushed away from the edge. He cried out as he flew down the stairs, out of control. Once he reached the bottom, he was unable to stop and flew into the doors across the stairs. "Ow…" he muttered, rubbing his head. Axel ran up to him, laughing.

"Come on Rox! Let's go again!"

Roxas shook his head. "No thanks…Can we just go back to your room?"

Axel looked at him, clearly wanting to go try it again, but smiled anyway. "Of course, Roxy." He summoned a portal and they disappeared.

Larxene appeared from her hiding place, clutching her sides in laughter. "These are being posted in the kitchen tomorrow!" she exclaimed, strolling down the hall.

------((anyway.))------

Roxas sighed as he collapsed onto Axel's bed. "Tell me there isn't anything more Marluxia told you that you 'have to try'," he said dryly.

Axel looked away from him, putting away the sleeping bags. "You didn't have to do this if you didn't want to," he said quietly.

Roxas sat up on the bed, noting the hurt look on Axel's face. "I did it because _you_ wanted to!" Roxas said, standing up and walking towards Axel. "…It wasn't that bad, actually."

Axel looked at him, smiling slightly. "Really?"

Roxas smiled. "Really. My hair doesn't look _that_ bad…"

"And I highly enjoyed watching you careen into the wall," Axel said, laughing.

Roxas looked at him dryly, pulling him to the bed. "How about we just forget that ever happened?"

Axel's smile turned devious. "What's in it for me?"

Roxas laughed as Axel threw him down onto the bed, straddling him. "I bet I could think of something…"

-----((ZE NEXT MORNING))----

Demyx came crashing into Axel's room, not surprised to see him snuggled up with Roxas, blissfully sleeping. _Hmm…_Demyx thought, _if I pull off the blankets, I _could_ be scarred for life…_ He settled for throwing a discarded boot at Axel's face. Axel started, sitting up slightly.

"What the fuck?! Demyx, what are you doing here?"

"I came to show you what Larxene put on the cafeteria bulletin board," he said, laughing as he showed Axel and the newly-woken-Roxas one set of copies of the pictures of their escapades the night before.

"See you at breakfast!" Demyx said, leaving the two to their devices as he left for breakfast.

Axel growled, ripping up the pictures. "She is _so_ dead!" he cried, getting up out of bed.

Roxas laughed as he watched him angrily get dressed. "I can't wait to watch," he said dryly, earning a glare from Axel.

"Doesn't this bug you _at all?"_

"A little," Roxas admitted, "But I was having fun, so what's the big deal?"

Axel smiled and gave Roxas a hug. "Come on, I'll serve you up some Larxene-en-flambe' in the cafeteria! HIGH HO SILVER!"

Roxas laughed as he threw on some pajamas and let Axel lead him to breakfast.

--------------------

Not a fan of that one. But I'm kinda rushing cuz I have to shower and want to read before I go to sleep. Stupid school.

LEAVE LOVE MY LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou

_MAKEUP HAIR AND SLEEPOVER RIDES._


	46. Alternate Sleepover: AkuRoku

You know. I realized yesterday as I tried and failed to fall asleep why I didn't like Sleepover. (ended up falling asleep at like 330, go me!) BECAUSE I FORGOT AN ESENTIAL PLOT POINT! ARGHHH. THE WHOLE BEST FRIENDS PART was going to be this big running thing::growl:: So. Since going back and fixing it would change the story _entirely_, I'm going to post an Alternate Deleted Scene version right here. Before the next what if! XD So its like a What…? Not enough to be a What if because it would have the same things happening, but some tweaked lines. I would have backed it up before they were 'together.' Pout.

AND before I write this, THANKIES for the help with Xaldin. I usually tend to back off limits because I try to use the Learn thing but I always accidentally pull up the Beast's limit. Boo. Waste of my MP. I love my Master form. I love Valor better but I put Beast in instead of Goofy. I'll run around the castle and level up, tis a good place to start. BUT my sis is taking the pS2 away to college in a few days, so boo.

ANYWAY!

**What….if…?**

_The author forgot an essential plot-point in the previous_

_chapter and wouldn't let it go until she wrote it out?_

((I'm basically going to skip around here. its like. NOT a full out what if, but like a skeletal form XD Shit, you don't even have to read this, it just makes me feel better! XD))

_So Axel would come in... _

"ROXY I'M HOOOOOOME!" Roxas' door was kicked open as Axel strolled in, making a showstopping appearance. "You will never _guess_ what Marluxia told me about today! It's called a sleep-over!"

Roxas looked at him warily. "…What is it?"

Axel shook his head, laughing. "You just have to come see!"

So then they would go in his room and Roxas would freak, but Axel would give him 'The Look' and then…

"Come on Roxy! Stop freaking out!" Axel said, trying to placate him. "Marluxia says that best friends do this all the time!"

Roxas stopped his protests monetarily, raising an eyebrow. "…Really?"

Axel nodded vigorously. Roxas sighed. "Why not."

Axel squealed and pulled Roxas into a hug. "First…"

_THEN the whole straightener business... And after Axel got his hair done... _

Roxas coughed awkwardly as Axel admired himself in the mirror. _He does look…good…great…astounding…_ Roxas couldn't pull his eyes away from Axel. He swallowed loudly, shifting in slight discomfort.

Axel looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. "Something wrong, Rox?"

Roxas forced a grin. "Nothing at all. What's next?"

_Then the makeup ordeal, where... _

Roxas looked at the pile of makeup warily. "…Are you _sure_ that best friends do this all the time?"

Axel nodded, smiling. "Of course they do! It's all in good fun, right?" He smiled as he pulled out some eyeliner, motioning Roxas to sit on the bed.

_Then there would be sleeping bag riding, WHERE... _

Axel grinned as he threw Roxas a sleeping bag. Roxas looked at him dryly. "Let me guess. Best friends do this all the time?"

Axel smiled, opening a portal to the entrance hall.

SEE how it would be subtly added through the damn thing::fumes at self:: AND i made up the entrance hall thing, but its a flipping castle, so its plausible. Anyway, getting off track...

SO then, they would return from sleeping bag riding, Larxene thing included, then the whole END would change! Ahem...

Roxas sat down on the bed, warily eyeing the sleeping bags as Axel put them away, still chuckling about Roxas' meeting with the wall.

"It wasn't _that_ funny," Roxas pouted. Axel laughed harder, coming to sit down next to Roxas on the bed. "So is there anything else that Marluxia said we should do?"

"No," Axel whispered quietly, turning towards Roxas with fire in his eyes. "But I bet I could think of something…"

Roxas' eyes widened as Axel moved closer to him. "…Axel?" He crossed his eyes as Axel moved even closer. Roxas held his breath as Axel moved within millimeters of his lips. Roxas closed his eyes and closed the gap, covering Axel's lips with his. However, he missed slightly, kissing the corner of Axel's mouth. He pulled back, blushing profusely. Axel chuckled softly.

"Care to try again?"

Roxas turned redder, nodding. Axel smiled, pulling Roxas closer to him. "Let me help you with that…" he closed the distance between them again, slowly lowering Roxas to the bed as he kissed him fervently. Roxas groaned as Axel slid a hand up from his waist to stroke his collarbone.

"Axel…"

THEN I would have cut to the next morning, and Demyx would be slightly surprised to see them together, but wouldn't comment any different as is. THEN...

Roxas chuckled slightly as Axel went on his angry tirade as he threw on clothes for breakfast. Axel stopped in his tracks, looking over to him. "What's so funny?"

"Do best friends do_that_ too?" Roxas asked, leering at him.

Axel smirked, approaching the bed again. "Of course they do…" Axel murmured, reaching down to kiss Roxas and trail kisses down his neck, "And they will continue to do so again and again….as soon as I go kick Larxene's ass!" He declared, straightening. He looked down at Roxas expectantly. "Revenge is in order. Are you coming?"

Roxas smirked, sitting up. "You bet."

---------------

…AND THAT'S how I would have gone. So I guess its' like…the ALTERNATE Sleepover.

Don't mind this. I'll_really_ update I swear. I'm still pondering about the next one.

Pick whichever of these you would have enjoyed, hell, you don't even have to _review_ if you don't want to.

…I can't believe I just said that.

Take it as a rare token. But yeah. I FEEL BETTER!

freaky-hanyou


	47. The Broken Leg: Zemyx

::twitch:: SEE I KNEW IT WOULD BE BETTER. Stupid me. Lesson learned? ITSBETTERNOTTOUPDATETHANTORUSH. Boo. That entire affair just peeves me off. I _knew_ it would be better….skljfklsdjkfl grrrr. So anyway. BEFORE I FORGET!

A fanart I found ages ago of Axel with straight hair:

…This could take a minute to disguise the fact it's a link. k no wwwness

jack666rulez. deviantart. com/art /akuroku-new-hairstyle- 47436921? qby3Ajac666rulez &qhsort 3Atime+-in 3Ascraps

…Dude. Yeah just get rid of the spaces. (hope that worked)

BUT IN OTHER NEWS THAT IS AMAZING. AFTER RUNNING AROUND THAT DAMNE CASTLE AND LEVELLING UP _THREE_ TIMES. _IBEATXALDIN!!!_ EEEEEEEEE.

HOLY MOTHER OF HAPPINESS! I COULD HAVE DIED.

Although nothing compares to when I was playing KH and it took like 7 months to beat Ansem the second time, oh man I was running through the house screaming my head off. XD

And OnlyinthisLight, that site is amazing. I can see what I was missing in CoM!!! WHEE.

AND I'm thinking of writing one of my own stories next. Like The Old Flame, but it might be either Soriku or Zemyx. (heheee Dexion giggle) But I dunno. Alright, shutting up. ahahh WOW I just looked at Sleepover right, AND I forgot. To erase my little 'note for me' in capital italics at the bottom. Ignore that. ::embarrassment::

**What If…**

_Zexion broke his leg, with only Demyx there to help?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Zesty))_

Zexion sighed as he strolled down the grand hall in the Emperor's Palace in the Land of Dragons with Demyx. _I must have done something wrong,_ he thought darkly, _There's no other reason that I got a field assignment with _Demyx_ of all people!_ He looked over at Demyx, feeling slightly guilty for thinking so poorly of him. _It's not that I don't like him…_He looked Demyx up and down quickly before the Nobody turned his direction and noticed. _I just don't know what to do about it…_

He sighed again as they turned a corner. Demyx looked over at him, concerned. "Is there something wrong Zexy?"

Zexion shook his head, focusing on the halls ahead. "I'm just…not fond of field assignments, is all."

Demyx smiled. "I agree with you there! I'm not the best at close combat, if you haven't noticed," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

Zexion looked over at him. "I wouldn't say you're _that_ bad," he said slowly, "you just haven't had enough training. After all," he continued, smiling slightly. "You're _in_ the Organization. That counts for something."

Demyx laughed. "What's this Zexy? A compliment? I'll have to write it down in our mission report; surely this has never occurred in the Land of Dragons!"

Zexion glared at him. "Fine, see if I ever try to be nice again, _IX._."

Demyx stopped walking, grabbing hold of Zexion's shoulder. "Sorry, I was only kidding!" He gave him a cheesy smile. "I'm quite flattered actually; no one ever compliments my fighting skills."

Zexion smiled back. "They have their…uses…" He suddenly turned pink slightly, looking away as a dream he had a few nights before flashed in his memory.

---((dream o' randomness!))----

"_D-demyx…" Zexion groaned as he laid on the warm tile in Demyx's practice area with Demyx sprawled out next to him, lightly stroking his bare abdomen. Demyx's eyes darkened in hue as he smiled devilishly, summoning a small amount of water to him. Zexion looked at him questioningly, and his eyes widened as the water lightly ran over his arms, stroking over the side of his face. Zexion shuddered at how warm it was. As Demyx leaned over to kiss him heatedly, the water shifted to Zexion's legs and upper chest, as Demyx's hand that was resting on his abdomen traveled lower…_

----((end dream o' randomness!))---

"Zeeeexy? IX to VI, do you read?"

Zexion shook himself, refocusing on the confused Demyx before him. "S-sorry," he apologized, shuddering slightly.

"What the hell was that?" Demyx wondered. "Are you having visions now?"

Zexion shook his head. "No," he said dismissively, beginning to walk forward again. "Just a crazy dream I had…"

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "What _kind_ of dream?"

Zexion shook him off, walking faster. "Nothing."

"Come on! Tell me!" Demyx said, matching pace with him.

Zexion ignored him and continued walking, setting his sights for the turn up ahead in the hall.

"Zeeee_xy!_" Demyx whined, "It's mean to bring such things up and then not share," he commented. "You seemed so _into_ it."

Upon reaching the corner, Zexion could take it no longer and turned swiftly, putting his arms on either side of Demyx, pinning him to the wall. "I was," he admitted softly. "But I need to focus…" he trailed off, pulling away abruptly. Demyx, who was slightly pink from the proximity, watched him as he turned on his heel, and walked on…

Straight onto a long flight of stairs he was unprepared for, tumbling down the 50 odd stairs.

Demyx turned the corner and gasped to see a pile of Zexion at the bottom of the stairs. As he reached the bottom, he heard Zexion groan aloud.

_Fucking dream is throwing me off…Stupid thing…_He hissed in pain as he tried to get up.

"Don't move," Demyx said to him commandingly.

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? I am your _superior-"_

"Whose leg is bent the wrong direction, and should therefore not move."

Zexion looked over to his side, seeing his leg bent the wrong way at his knee. His eyes widened. "_Fuck_," he cried out as the pain hit him like a wave.

Demyx summoned a portal, and, with a burst of strength, carefully lifted Zexion bridal style to the hospital wing of the castle.

-----((Poor Zexy))------

Zexion sighed in frustration as he tried to reach an itch at the bottom of his foot from his prone position on his bed. _This sucks. _His leg had been popped back into place, and covered in a cast, leaving him nothing to do but sit in his bed for at least a month. _And of course_,he thought dryly, _my caretaker is none other than-_

"Hey Zexy! I brought you something to eat!" Demyx called in greeting, laden with a sandwich and some milk. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Zexion muttered as Demyx laid the tray down on his lap and sat in a chair next to his bed.

"That doesn't sound fine," Demyx said, stretching his arms behind his head, "it sounds like you need some cheering up!"

Zexion choked on his sandwich, quickly covering it up with a cough before Demyx decided to give him the Heimlich. Out of the corner of his eyes, he searched Demyx's face for any hint of double meaning in that sentence. Finding none, he sighed inwardly. _That stupid dream just won't leave me alone!_

"What would you like to do Zexy?" Demyx said, smiling.

Zexion finished off the last of his sandwich, frowning. "Sleep," he said deftly, handing him back the tray. Demyx sighed and left, taking the tray back to the cafeteria.

----((poor Demyx))-----

Demyx arrived back in Zexion's room to find him fast asleep. He smiled slightly, sitting back down in his chair as he watched Zexion slumber. _He's been so grumpy lately…_he wondered, _what's gotten into him? Granted, I would be grumpy too if I was confined to my bed…but it seems to be more than that. I wish he would tell me what was bothering him so much that he didn't notice an entire flight of stairs…_

--------((Zexy's dream))------

_Zexion hissed as Demyx and his trails of water made new paths around his skin, dancing over his chest as Demyx kissed his collarbone. Demyx trailed a hand down to join Zexions' while the other one reached its destination on his inner thigh. Zexion cried out as the water made a new path under his swimsuit to circle around Demyx's hand. Demyx grinned, covering Zexion's lips with his own…_

---------((end Zexy's dream))-----

Demyx looked up as Zexion stirred in his sleep, panting slightly. His eyes opened, seeing Demyx sitting there smiling at him. He rolled over to hide his flush, giving a polite, 'Hey Demyx,' as he did so.

Demyx sighed inwardly. "Why did you fall down the stairs, Zexion?"

Zexion froze, turning back over to face Demyx slowly. "I was…distracted…by something I really don't understand enough to talk about," he said, dancing around the subject.

Demyx nodded in understanding. "It sometimes helps to talk about something," he explained. "It can make things clearer for you."

Zexion flushed again, shaking his head. "I don't think you'd like to hear about it," he muttered,

not meeting Demyx's eyes.

"Of course I would," Demyx said kindly, reaching his hand out to turn Zexion's chin so he could meet his eyes, "You don't have to hide anything from me."

He said it so sincerely, and so tenderly, that Zexion smiled slightly and gave in. "I…guess I could tell you…" he began, "but you have to promise not to react or say anything until you hear me out."

"Sure," Demyx said, scooting closer to hear his story.

"Well, when we were talking about your fighting skills, it reminded me of this dream I have been having…"

----((bit o fast forward))-----

Zexion turned redder and redder as he related his dream to Demyx. Demyx, true to his word, did not say a word until Zexion had finished telling every detail of his dream.

"And I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice a flight of stairs in front of me!" he said, laughing awkwardly. He looked up at Demyx, awaiting a response.

Demyx looked at him intensely, before breaking off into peals of laughter. Zexion turned away, hurt. Demyx turned Zexion's gaze to him, smiling. "Why Zexy, I didn't know that you were so…_kinky."_

Zexion stared at him, stunned as Demyx's gaze turned devilish. "You wouldn't want to help me…practice my element once you're healed, would you?"

Zexion smiled at him, his blush permanently etched on his face. "I'd like that." Demyx moved closer to him, carefully leaning on the bed so as not to disturb Zexion's leg.

"I could get you a glass or two of water now, if you'd like."

Zexion laughed and pulled Demyx closer to him. "Maybe later," he said, smirking, "Right now, I'd prefer it if my bed were kept dry," he grinned, pulling Demyx down for a kiss.

------------------

I kiiinda liked that one, but I still give it a meh. Whats this? Demyx being a seme? Or hinted as one? LE GASP! Haha that was fun.

Not as fun as it usually is, but still fun.

…I'm so tired. I'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep. Stupid school. I blame these updates on school.

LOVE.

freaky-hanyou


	48. The Flu: AkuRoku

ALRIGHT SO ITS 230. WHEE! Omg. OnlyinthisLight (dude 'wet dreams!' Omg hilarious.) mentioned something about something called Kingdom Hearts: The Stupid files and I was like ….? SO I youtubed it and OMG. i. died. It is the most hilarious KH vid I have ever seen. Go watch it. XD

AND RANDOM question to all. A few What ifs coming up require me knowing canon knowledge of what goes on with dear Aku and Roku duing Orgy 13 time. I have no DS and have only know the gist of CoM, and I have no knowledge other than Roxas leaves to find out more about what he can't remember about his somebody and Axel is sad.

SO anyone who could help out with that is appreciated. because I've seen icons of like the two of them eating sea salt ice cream in twilight town (le duh) but I was like Dude when did that happen. XD

AND I sat here and racked my brains for_ever,_ but Aranel wasn't on to help me brainstorm, and so the only way I could think of breaking a leg (I have never broken limbs XD) was stairs. I couldn't think of anything as crazy as the making out and kicking the hamster into traffic business for it. XD

Here goes for making this one hilarious. HIGHHOSILVA! XP (I use faces too much.)

**What If…**

_Roxas caught the flu?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Inspire-Illuminate))_

Roxas sneezed as he walked through Twilight Town with Axel on one of their 'penalty-for-being-annoying-asshats' missions. Axel looked raised an eyebrow as Roxas sniffled.

"You alright Roxy?" he asked, mildly concerned. "I don't want you catching a cold on this _difficult_ mission we're on," he grinned and Roxas smiled weakly.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Roxas said dismissively, waving him off. "I just have a little headache is all." Axel took off his gloves and put one hand to his head and the other to Roxas' head. "Hmmmm…." he pondered, into 'Dr. Axel:Medicinal Wonder' mode. "I think you have a fever…"

"Do not," Roxas protested as the walked by the Ice Cream shop.

"I know what will make you feel better! A good sea-salt ice cream and a trip to the clock tower!"

Roxas' stomach churned at the idea of ice cream. "I'm not hungry," he said continuing walking.

Axel stopped in his tracks. "You don't want _ice cream? _This is serious." He summoned a portal, and dragged Roxas back through to the Superiors office.

-----((leave it to Axel XD))---

The Superior raised an eyebrow when he heard a knock on his door. _Everyone should be busy with missions…_he pondered, bidding his visitors entrance. His eyes widened as he saw Numbers VIII and XIII enter his office. _Hmm…I gave them a slack-off mission. Why are they back?_

"State your business Number VIII," The Superior began, speaking to the superior of the two members.

"Roxas is sick!" He pulled Roxas up next to him. "He has a fever, and he's been sneezing, and he has a headache! I think he should be excused today."

The Superior raised an eyebrow. _Why would they want to get off of an easy mission…? Something's up. _"Come here, XIII." Roxas slowly approached the Superior, sneezing. "Hmmm…" he thought. "You do look sick…VIII."

"Sir?"

"Stay and care for him. And if I hear a _word_ about any explosions, I'm turning you into a dusk. Agreed?"

"Sure," he grinned, steering Roxas out of the room.

Roxas looked as if he had just received a death sentence. "Why is it that _you_ trying to cure the flu doesn't sound like the best idea?"

Axel feigned hurt as they walked towards Roxas' room. "Don't you think I'm the best doctor out there?" he said jokingly.

Roxas looked at him warily. "What do you do to treat the flu?"

Axel shrugged. "Sex?"

Roxas groaned as they walked into his room, flopping onto his bed. Axel laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Put on your PJs Rox! I _do_ know that you need rest!"

Roxas smiled wryly as he took of his jacket. "And you're actually going to let me get rest?"

Axel grinned. "Don't worry; I have a plan! I'll be right back!" he said, strolling out of the room.

-----((oh lord Axel with a plan))----

Axel skimmed Google on his computer, searching for flu remedies. _Hmmm…there has to be a few good things on here…Aha! _He thought, discovering a site full of home flu remedies. He wrote a few down that he thought would work, smirking.

"Let the games begin!"

-------((poor Roxas))-----

Roxas sighed in frustration as he tried in vain to read his romance novel while Axel was away. _Gah!_ he thought angrily, throwing the book on his desk. _I can't focus!_

"Damned headache…" Roxas sighed, turning over in bed. "I wish this damn thing would just _go away…"_

As if on cue, Axel popped in through the door carrying a small yellowish drink. "First remedy coming up!"

Roxas looked at him, cautious. "Before I drink that, you have to list to me everything you put in there and how much."

Axel feigned offense as he handed him the drink. "It's nothing much really…just some hot water, lemon juice, honey…"

Roxas looked a bit relieved and took a small sip as Axel continued listing. "…Some cloves, and a good helping of whisky!"

Roxas choked as the small amount of drink burned his already sore throat. "Axel! What makes you think _hot alcohol_ is going to make me feel better!"

"But it's supposed to work! I was just going to give you straight whisky, but I ran into Marluxia on the way down here and he told me how to make a 'hot toddy' properly…"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "And we're trusting _Marluxia_ with my health?"

Axel pondered that for a moment, before abruptly taking the drink away from Roxas. "We'll try something else," he said shortly, disappearing again.

-----((time elapse))-----

Roxas warily looked towards the door as he heard it open. He watched as Axel arrived bearing an entire gallon of orange juice and a glass. Roxas' eyes widened. "The hell Axel? Are you expecting me to drink that entire thing?"

"You're supposed to drink Vitamin C to boost your immune system and increase while blood cells!" Axel defended, pouring Roxas a liberal glass. "_Drink."_

Roxas glared at him, sipping it slowly. Axel watched avidly, as if Roxas was going to miraculously heal before his eyes. Roxas smirked at him. "It's not a miracle cure you know," he said.

Axel put the gallon on the desk, pulling up the chair next to Roxas' bed. "I know!" he said, pulling out his list of cures. "What's next…" He looked up to see Roxas staring at him. "What are you waiting for? Drink up!" Roxas sighed and continued to drink his orange juice. "Here's one!" Axel said, getting up. He disappeared, and Roxas sighed, putting the orange juice down on the desk. Axel stuck his head in the door.

"Drink!"

Roxas threw a pillow at the door. "I will, dammit!"

--------

Axel reappeared with a bucket of water. "That gallon still has a lot of orange juice in it," he said pointedly, putting the bucket on the ground. Roxas glared at him.

"I'm not a _sponge,"_ he retorted, sneezing, "I can't just fill myself up!"

Axel made a noise of disbelief as he moved towards him. "Whatever, time to sit up now."

"What? Where am I going?" Roxas said as he let Axel help him sit up. Axel shifted the blankets so they were around him.

"You're going to soak your feet!" Axel explained, "It's supposed to get rid of your headache."

Roxas nodded. "Makes sense," he said as he put his feet in the water. "So…now what?"

Axel consulted his list. "Aha!" he shifted so that he was sitting behind Roxas. He brought his hands up to Roxas' shoulders, rubbing them in small circles. Roxas jumped in surprise, turning to see Axel grinning at him.

"How does that help?" Roxas said, already leaning into Axel's ministrations.

"It's supposed to activate your immune system," Axel said dismissively, pushing harder on those stress spots. "Besides," he smirked as he moved closer. "It gives me something to do…"

Roxas sighed as Axel continued. "Or should I say some_one…"_

Roxas was brought out of his euphoria, turning slowly to look at Axel. "Hey now, I'm supposed to be healing…"

"I know," Axel said, sighing. "But that was the last remedy that I had! How about if I massage a little _lower_…" Axel moved one of his hands to rub Roxas' chest, tickling him slightly. Roxas chuckled, inadvertently pulling his feet out of the water as he shifted to get closer to Axel.

"Can I opt for this to be the 'rest' part of the day again?" Roxas asked as he wiped his feet dry on his carpet, laying down in bed again.

Axel grinned. "Of course you can," he replied, never breaking his embrace. "Now I can pamper you properly…" He made a small line of kisses down Roxas' neck towards his collarbone. Roxas gasped, flushing.

Axel smirked as he moved lower. "Now Roxas, I thought your fever was going away…"

Roxas groaned as Axel's other hand appeared on his knee and inched itself slowly upward. "I-I'm sick, Axel…"

"I know, I'm not doing anything exerting am I?" Roxas shook his head. "Just tell me when to stop."

"But," Roxas said heatedly, "I don't want you to…"

"Then I won't," Axel grinned, coming up to Roxas' lips for a kiss.

-----(((waiiit for iiit))----

Roxas groaned as he rolled over the next morning, snuggling into Axel to shield his eyes away from the sun. _Shit, it' s morning already…_He poked Axel in the ribs. "Hey. Get up."

Axel opened an eye, yawning. "Wow. Time flies when you're having fun," he grinned, pulling Roxas closer to him. "Say Roxy…how are you feeling?"

Roxas thought for a moment. "…A lot better actually. Wow," he said, "I think you're crazy cures might have worked…"

Axel snorted. "Doubt it. _I_ think it was the sex," he grinned. Roxas hit him lightly over the head. "Hey! You never know!"

Roxas didn't comment as he snuggled closer to Axel. "You could be the cure for the common cold and no one would know," he suggested.

Axel smiled. "You going to bottle me up and put me in a store?" Roxas hit him again.

"Just shut up and go back to bed. As far as Xemnas knows I'm still sick," he said, feigning a sneeze.

Axel grinned deviously. "But what if I don't want to go back to bed?" he said, coming closer to Roxas.

Roxas smiled. "Then I guess we could do something?"

Axel laughed, "Or some_one…"_

--------------

HEEEEEEEEEEEee. I liked that one. There's not _that_ much sick in there, but too many people are invalids as of late. XD

Yes, sex with Axel is the cure for all maladies. XD AND i did not make up ANY of my remedies. Except Axel.

R AND R!

freaky-hanyou


	49. A New Form: AkuRoku

Who's obsessed with Seven Deadly sins::raises hand:: stupid song. XD

Anyway. SO I prooobably won't update on Firday cuz someone might a comin over, and we have a Show Choir competition (tech crew XD) Saturday so if we don't make finals if there's an update it will be a late one. XD

I use that face to much. 8D

But yeah I'm thinking I'm gonna have some fun with this one. And to my surprise, the High Score is not held my Rent anymore with 13, but by Love Poetry with 16! Wow I say.

ON WITH THE PERFORMANCE. (AND if you're wondering, these what ifs are coming from suggestions from October. XD)

**What If…**

_Roxas was turned into a girl?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Darkest Soul of Sadness))_

Vexen made small incoherent noises as he toiled over his current side project. _Damned inferiors,_ he thought to himself as he mixed various concoctions together, _They show no appreciation…We'll see if they switch my cholesterol medicine with Viagra after this! _He cackled evilly as he took a small spray bottle and poured some of the pink liquid into it. Twisting on the cap, he smiled triumphantly.

"He'll never know what hit him." His mind continued to plot out how to go about with his plan. _Hm…how can I make it seem less obvious…Aha._ He grinned deviously as he thought of just the person to help him.

----((foreboding music))---

"And how can I_service_ you today, Vexen?" Marluxia asked devilishly as he twirled around in Vexen's spinning chair in his lab.

Vexen pinked slightly but ignored him. "I need you to do me a favor Number XI. Consider it payment for your disrespectful attitude."

Marluxia's eyes lowered into a devious smirk. "Why Vexen, I didn't know you thought of me as disrespectful…" He stood up, coming closer to Vexen. "I thought you thought of me as something _else…"_

Vexen jumped as Marluxia grazed his shoulder, all but leaping away from him. "Will you do it or not?!"

"Of course," Marluxia said, still leering. "Many times." Vexen gave him a stern look. "Kidding," he said, sighing. "What must I do?"

-----((THAT was fun. XD))-----

Roxas rolled over on his bed, sighing in contentment as he read his romance novel. _This is my favorite part!_ He thought wistfully as he read the part where the star-crossed lovers profess their need for each other. _Of course everything always goes to hell after this…Ah well._

He looked up from his book as he heard a knock on his door. Putting a bookmark on his page, he looked at his watch. _Axel is still on his mission…_ "Who is it?"

"Marluxia, of course."

Roxas sighed as he sat up on his bed. _This can't be good._ "Come in."

Marluxia entered his room, a serious expression on his features. Roxas tried to be friendly. He _tried_ not to send death glares at him. Sure, that doesn't mean he _didn't_ but hey.

Marluxia walked around his room as if he owned the place. Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "Yes…?"

"The Superior ordered me to inspect rooms," he said matter-of-factly, opening Roxas' top dresser drawer. Marluxia's gaze turned amused as he turned to Roxas, a pair of handcuffs in his hand. "Wow, Roxas, I didn't know you were into this…"

Roxas blushed, standing up to take them from him. "Those are Axels," he muttered.

"Makes no difference," Marluxia said, grinning, as he walked over to the closet. He laughed again as he pulled out a pair of tight leather pants with dark red fiery embroidery. "And you're going to tell me these are Axel's too? I don't think they'd fit…"

"_Are you done?"_ Roxas said angrily, his face a permanent shade of red.

"Just about," Marluxia said, smiling his devious 'Bitchstick-and-damn-proud' smirk. He strided towards the door, and turned around to face Roxas.

"And one more thing," he added, still smirking.

"What."

"This." Marluxia whipped out the pink spray bottle, spraying Roxas a few times full in the face. Roxas sputtered, then suddenly dizzy, passed out onto his bed.

Marluxia chuckled quietly as he left the room.

--------((oh noes!))-------

Roxas stirred in his bed, groaning softly. _Ugh…what happened? _He sat up, shaking his head. _Marluxia came to inspect or whatever, and-Ohmygodican'tfeelmy__**penis!**_ Roxas leapt out of his bed, shaking slightly as he slowly stepped in front of the mirror.

Roxas quickly pulled his computer chair to catch himself on before he collapsed to the ground. _Holy shit…I'm a _girl?Roxas was distracted by himself in the mirror. Roxas' hair was a bit longer, still voluminous but parted to the side with spiked ends. He ran his hands down his not-so-flat-anymore chest, turning in the mirror slowly to notice that his pants fit more snuggly to his hips than before. _Wow…I have curves…_

Roxas paused at his observations in the mirror. _Wait. I'm a fucking GIRL. How the hell did this happen?! _He thought for a moment. _It must have been that shit Marluxia sprayed in my face…_ Roxas checked his watch again, smiling. _I've still got a good hour before Axel comes back…_

His smile grew more impish as he dove into his dresser.

-----((I love this))----

Roxas smirked as he stood in front of the mirror, grinning. _After all I _am_ a girl…why not have a little fun?_ He looked himself over as he stood in one of his silky red dress shirts with his fiery black leather pants, which were snugger around his hips. _I daresay I love how these fit…although, I think I am scarred for life…I feel like I was castrated…_

His eyes widened as he heard a knock on his door. _Fuck, if that's Axel I have exactly 1.9581 seconds to hide…_ He dove for his bed…

---((exactly 1.9581 seconds later))---

Axel smiled fanatically as he kicked in Roxas' door, as per his style. "HELLOOOO MY DARLING ROXY!" he cheered, walking into his room. He saw him in the bed, with the covers up to his neck.

Axel's smile turned roguish. "Ah, ready for me already? You don't need the blanket, you little virgin you…"

Roxas's eyes widened as Axel came closer. "Don't Axel, I-I'm….sick!"

Axel paused, laughing. "Then isn't that even _more_ of a reason for me to come closer?" he smirked, covering Roxas under his blanket. He cuddled closer to him, before examining his face closer. His features looked…softer.

"Roxy, are you growing out your hair? You look different…"

"No! Why would you think that?" Roxas said nervously. Axel looked as if he was about to ask more, so Roxas decided to silence him with a kiss. This switched Axel from 'Thinking mode' into 'Sexing Mode' flawlessly, as he murmured his approval against Roxas' lips.

Roxas, however, did not think of the consequences of this move. He was unable to pay attention as Axel's hand stealthily made its way under the blanket, aiming for his taut abdomen.

"Hmmm….so you still have clothes on," Axel murmured as he nipped at Roxas' neck. "I think that must be remedied…" He kissed Roxas again more passionately as his hand slid up further and further….

"_What the FUCK?!"_ Axel cried out, pulling back violently as he felt something that was definitely _not_ Roxas' flat chest. Roxas sat up, still holding the blanket around him, blushing.

"I-I'm sorry, Axel, I tried to keep you away…"

Axel was in shock. "What…. Are you…. How…girl?"

Roxas turned redder as he slowly lowered the blanket. Axel's eyes widened as Roxas stood up, showing off his femininity. Axel continued to stare wordlessly as Roxas spun in a circle, looking at himself in the mirror again.

He looked back at Axel, twitching slightly. "Aren't you going to say something?"

Axel swallowed visibly. "…Girl?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, glaring at him. "You should really be more eloquent, Axel."

Axel blinked and swallowed again. "…What the _hell_ happened?"

Roxas explained to him what happened with Marluxia, and of the pink spray bottle. "Of_course_ it was Marluxia," Axel said angrily as he stood up, "Who _else_ would it be?!"

Roxas grabbed onto his arm, trying to calm him. "Think rationally before you do anything, Axel." Axel looked down at him, eyes widened and nostrils flaring.

Roxas blushed, letting go of him. "I figured you'd want to stay away from me now that I'm like this…" He moved to go towards his closet when he felt himself being spun around and held tight against Axel.

"Dumbass," Axel said, his voice cracking, "You're still _you._ And in _any_ form, I still love you for who you are on the inside."

Roxas smiled up at him wryly. "How preschool of you Axel. Is that the moral of the story?"

Axel leered down at him. Roxas swallowed as the rest of his retort died in his mouth. Axel lowered himself so his lips were right next to Roxas' ear. "Besides," he whispered softly as if Roxas never said anything, "I think you're dead sexy in this form, too."

Roxas' eyes widened as Axel tilted his chin up to kiss him deeply. He inadvertently grabbed onto Axel's shoulders, wrapping his legs around his waist as Axel carried them to the bed, entangling one of his hands in Roxas' longer hair.

"Those pants look just as gorgeous on you as they usually do…" Axel murmured heatedly, kissing his way up Roxas' abdomen.

Roxas groaned, feeling way too many new sensations. "Axel…" he murmured as the nobody began to skillfully unbutton his pants.

"Axel!"

Axel looked up, stopping his trail on both accounts. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry I-I can't do this…" Roxas muttered, looking away. "It's so…_wrong!_ I have no _penis_ for god's sake! Think about it. If this happened to you, would _you_ want to still do it?"

Axel thought for a moment, shuddering as he held Roxas closer. "You poor thing. I'll see to it that your manhood is restored immediately, as cute as you are…" He tweaked Roxas' nose and pulled them up off the bed. "Throw your cloak on. We need to find Marluxia."

-----((heee))----

Axel and the hooded Roxas cautiously walked up to Marluxia's room. Axel smiled and asked jokingly, "Do you think we'll need a machete to get in?"

Roxas laughed as he knocked on the door.

"Come iiiin!"

Axel and Roxas walked into a surprisingly mildly-flowered room. They saw Marluxia lounging in his desk chair, as if he expected them to arrive.

"Let me guess," he said, before either one of them opened his mouth. "You want me to_fix_ whatever I did to him by spraying that stuff in his face or you'll burn all my plants to a crisp?"

Axel blinked. "What are you implying…"

Marluxia chuckled. "I'm saying I can't help you. But, I can tell you who can…for a price, of course."

"What do you want?" Roxas asked. Marluxia raised an eyebrow. Roxas' voice sounded_slightly_ higher than usual.

"Take off your hood." Roxas slowly lowered his hood to reveal that he was a girl. Marluxia burst into uncontrollable laughter as his eyes traveled up and down his form, realizing that it was in fact, female.

Roxas blushed as Marluxia continued laughing. Axel, however, got angrier and angrier. "Hello? Earth to flower-boy!"

Marluxia wiped a tear from his eye as he calmed down. "That was worth it." he stood up, smirking as he stepped closer. "Are you _sure_ you want to change back, Roxas? You're pretty cute that way…"

Roxas glared at him, daring him to come any closer. Marluxia sighed. _He is still the Keyblade wielder…_ "Very well," he said dismissively as he sat back down, "Go see Vexen. He'll tell you what you want to know."

---((TO THE LAB!))---

Vexen twitched as Axel slammed him into the wall of his lab. "Fix him," he ground out as he gestured to Roxas. Vexen's eyes widened as he saw the female form of Roxas next to him.

Vexen smiled coldly. "No, I don't really think I will."

Axel clenched his cloak tighter in frustration. "Why _not?_"

"Because he's my specimen now; he needs to be _examined."_

Axel would have punched him in the face if Roxas hadn't held back his free hand. "Why the hell are you doing this? We haven't even _pranked _you lately!"

Vexen laughed. "So you're saying you didn't switch my cholesterol medicine with Viagra?" he said sarcastically. Axel and Roxas looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"No," Roxas said, laughing. "But whoever did gets a pat on the back from us!"

Vexen thought for a moment, confused. _Well if _they _didn't, then who-_He thought for a moment to the morning of the occurrence, remembering that Marluxia was right outside his room. _He _was_ making all those comments today…Damn him…_ Vexen sighed in frustration, admitting defeat.

"I'm…._sorry,_ I have mistaken you for a flower-headed prick," he muttered, spraying Roxas with a lime green liquid. Roxas fainted again, Axel catching him in mid-fall.

"Thanks?" Axel replied, turning to go back to his room. "Oh, and Vexen?"

Vexen looked up from his labs at him.

"I do believe a certain Graceful Assassin would benefit from being separated from his penis for a few months."

Vexen grinned. "Duly noted, Number VIII."

--------------------

That. was so much fun. Shit, even the MarlyVexen was fun. Oh man, I was dying as I wrote this.

And the title? I dunno, it just reminds me of like a new Drive form. XD

YOU BETTER LEAVE THE LOVE.

freaky-hanyou


	50. The Misunderstanding: AkuRoku & Zemyx

Eeeeeee. I still am in love with that last one. This one looks promising as well. It took me a while to figure out the plot point, but I _think_ it'll work. I think. I haven't exactly ironed out _everything_ that happens yet…it'll flow.

And its still up in the air if I'll update Firday or not. XD

Alright, here we goes!

…HEY! THIS IS CHAPTER FIFTY CHILDREN! WE ARE HALFWAY TO 100!! CELEBRATE WITH REVIEWS ON THIS SPECIAL EVENT. XD

**What If…**

_Zexion and Roxas stumble upon Axel and Demyx in _

_a compromising position and formulate _

_a plan for revenge?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Larxene-NumberXII))_

Axel sighed contentedly as he grabbed ate a small snack of donuts in the cafeteria. _Mmm…_he thought, thinking of both the donuts and a certain member of Organization XIII. _Gotta love those surprise-sex moments…I was rather surprised that Roxas was the one to push _me_ into the wall…He never does that…Mmmm, I hope he returns from his mission soon…_

Axel continued to be lost in his memories as Demyx strolled into the cafeteria, whistling a little tune as he grabbed a tray to pile a late lunch onto. The members only ate dinner and breakfast together because not everyone was around at lunchtime. Upon seeing Axel, Demyx smiled and hurriedly piled on random foods, walking towards him.

As he sat down in front of Axel, he realized that Axel wasn't really all there. Demyx chuckled. _I wonder what he's thinking about…_ He waved a hand in front of Axel's face. "Hello? Earth to Axel, can you read?"

Axel however, absentmindedly picked up a donut and took a bite, none the wiser that Demyx was there. Demyx twitched, and pulled none-too-gently on Axel's hair. This seemed to send him off _further_ into memory lane as Axel made a noise of delight and looked off into space.

Demyx sighed in frustration. _I am not invisible dammit!_ Inhaling the food on his plate, he lifted up the empty tray and slapped Axel upside the head with it. Axel started, forcibly knocked out of his reverie.

"What the _fuck?"_ His eyes alighted on Demyx. "What the hell was that for?!"

Demyx grinned, sipping his glass of water. "You were staring off into space. I decided to bring you back to the world!"

Axel glared at him. "You could have been nicer about it."

Demyx looked offended. "I _tried!_ I don't randomly walk up to people and slap them with lunch trays!"

Axel grinned deviously, getting an idea for quick revenge. "Oh. That's too bad…" Demyx looked at him quizzically. "Because I do!" Axel quickly grabbed the abandoned tray from the table and hit Demyx in the face. Demyx snorted, standing up quickly, spilling his water all over the table.

"Oh, it's on." Axel and Demyx stared at each other for a moment before diving for the lunch tray pile. Trays went everywhere as they were thrown in every direction, landing on tables and garbage cans as Axel and Demyx ducked and dodged each other's attacks.

Demyx rolled behind the table across from the one they were sitting at before, panting. Looking up, he noticed that a tray was sitting on the small puddle of water that was left from his spilled drink. Demyx smirked evilly as he stood up. Axel immediately ran over, trays flying, to stand between Demyx and the table with the water.

He grinned triumphantly at Demyx, armed with two trays. Demyx had none. "What are you going to do now, Demyx? Apologize I think?"

"Noope," Demyx said as he summoned his sitar, "I don't think I will." Axel's eyes widened as he played a quick and merry tune. Axel smirked, thinking nothing happened, while behind him, the puddle of water was flattening and slowly raising the tray high.

"_Dance water, dance!"_ Demyx cried out gleefully as the tray hit Axel square in the back, sending him sprawling forward. Axel would have caught his balance if his foot had not landed on an ill-placed tray, sending him flying forward even faster. Demyx gasped and tried to dodge, but it was impossible. Axel flew straight into him, pinning him on the cafeteria table, his head buried in Demyx's neck with his hands flung out on either side of Demyx to prevent from crushing him. Demyx's cocky aura disappeared as Axel fell onto him. _I still won,_ he thought, smiling to himself.

"_Axel!"_

------((briiief flashback))-----

Roxas grinned as he took a portal back from his mission directly to Axel's room, hoping to find him there waiting for him. His grin dropped as he was met with an empty room. _That little shit…_ Roxas thought darkly, _I'll just have to go find him and punish him…_ Roxas smiled to himself as he stepped out the door, abruptly running into Zexion.

"Oh! Sorry, Number VI." Roxas replied shortly, turning to walk down the hall.

"It's alright, Number XIII," Zexion replied as he ended up walking in the same direction as Roxas.

Roxas walked next to him, making no conversation. Zexion looked down at him, noticing that he turned the same direction in the hall he did. "Heading for the cafeteria?"

Roxas nodded. "I'm trying to find Axel."

Zexion took in a deep breath. "Yep, he's there. Demyx is too, I believe." As they neared the cafeteria, they heard loud crashing noises from behind the door.

"What the hell-?" Roxas said as Zexion pushed opened the door. Zexion and Roxas stared in disbelief at the sight of the state of the kitchen and the occupants in it. Axel appeared to be kissing Demyx's neck, as Demyx looked away, a faint smile on his face.

Zexion stood in the door, stunned, as Roxas cried out, "_Axel!"_ Axel immediately pushed himself up, staring at the new occupants of the cafeteria. Roxas wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise as he went off on him, marching up to him and gripping his collar. "What the hell are you doing?! You _knew_ where I was going right when I got back!"

"I-"

"Dammit, Axel, what are you thinking? What am I supposed to think?"

"We-"

"Shit, Axel I tonight I was going to-" Roxas cut himself off, blushing as he realized the Demyx and Zexion were still in the room. He continued his death glare as Axel stared at him, giving up on talking. "Well?! Aren't you going to _try_ and explain?"

"We were just-"

"I don't want to _hear_ it, Axel!" Roxas said angrily, breaking away from him.

"But he cheated!" Axel said, pointing at Demyx.

Roxas stepped back further, looking as if he was near tears. "Well, he isn't the only one…" Roxas quickly summoned a portal and disappeared.

Axel cried out in frustration, glaring at Demyx. "This is _so_ your fault." He then summoned a portal to go after Roxas.

Demyx blinked, and turned warily to where Zexion was standing. However, he only saw the closing portal that Zexion had summoned moments before. Demyx sighed, slowly standing up and, left the cafeteria, preferring to walk to Zexion's room.

----((to poor Roxy))----

Roxas lay sprawled out on his bed, his head smothered into a pillow. _He better knock before coming in here if he wants to ever have sex again…_ Roxas thought darkly as he started blankly at his wall.

As if on cue, someone knocked on his door. "Roxas, will you please just let me explain?"

"No."

"But it's all a big misunderstanding! _I_ don't even know the full extent of what happened! One minute I-"

"I said I don't want to _hear_ it Axel, now go away."

"But-"

"_Go away, Axel."_

Axel, having never had Roxas' 'I'm-going-to-cut-out-your-entrails' voice directed at him before, frowned and sat down by his door.

"If I find you sitting outside my door, I won't be responsible for my actions."

Axel looked up hopefully.

"No, I did not mean that in a perverse way, Axel. I meant that in a threatening way."

Axel sighed, and slowly stood up, regretting each step he took away from Roxas' door.

-----((to poor Demyx and Zexion))----

Demyx sighed and steeled himself as he stood in front of Zexion's door. _Here goes nothing…_ Expecting harsh retorts, he hesitantly knocked on Zexion's door.

"Come in."

Demyx almost fell to the floor in shock. He stepped into Zexion's room, seeing Zexion hard at work at his desk. "Zexion, I-"

"What do you wish to speak with me about, Number IX?" Zexion asked, turning his head back towards Demyx.

Demyx winced inwardly. "I want to explain-"

"Unless you have any professional matters to discuss, I have no business with you." Zexion turned around and went back to work. The hurt emanating from both of them was palpable as Demyx slowly stepped out of the room.

Zexion sighed in frustration as he heard the door click behind him, pounding his fists on his desk in frustration. "Goddammit-!"

At that moment, a portal appeared directly into Zexion's room. Zexion was surprised as none other than Roxas appeared directly into his room.

Roxas smiled weakly. "Sorry. I didn't want to run into anyone in the hallways."

Zexion nodded understandingly. "What do you want, Number XIII?"

"Please call me Roxas." Zexion raised an eyebrow. "You see, I have a plan for us to get back at them, but I need your help…." Roxas trailed off. "Would you help me? Zexion?"

Zexion turned around completely to face him, motioning that Roxas sat down on his bed. "What do you have in mind….Roxas?"

-----((oh boy))----

Axel and Demyx sat with the rest of the Organization, sans Roxas, eating breakfast the next morning. Both of them looked as if their favorite puppy had just committed suicide. Axel refused to speak to Demyx due to this being _entirely_ his fault, in his opinion, and Demyx wouldn't speak to _anyone,_ because he was still in shock over the night before. Neither had gotten much sleep.

"Number XIII is very late this morning," The Superior commented offhandedly, looking at Axel. "Would you have any idea where he is?"

Axel shook his head, sighing as Demyx longingly stared over at Zexion's part of the table. The door suddenly opened, and Roxas walked in, strolling up to the higher part of the table towards Zexion.

"Mornin' Zexy," Roxas said cheerily as he kissed Zexion on the cheek. Everyone in the room watched in shock as Zexion smiled and kissed Roxas softly on the lips, whispering him a soft good morning. Demyx's jaw dropped and Axel looked as if he was going to breathe fire.

"I let him sleep in later, Superior, I hope you don't mind," Zexion replied to the Superior's earlier question. Xemnas nodded absently as he watched Roxas all but skip to his seat, as Axel choked on his eggs he was chewing. Demyx thumped him on the back absently, staring at Zexion, waiting for him to look over at him. Zexion's eyes passed right over him as he followed Roxas back to the table. Roxas looked up at him as he sat down, and blushed as he began to tuck into his food.

Axel looked from Zexion to Roxas and back again. Settling for Roxas, he leaned across the table towards him. "Roxas! What did he do?"

"I'm not talking to you, Axel," Roxas said shortly, cutting up a pancake. "Why don't you talk to Demyx?"

Axel glared at Demyx, who looked torn between defending himself and running up to the head of the table. Axel looked back at Roxas, clearly disturbed. "But-"

"I'm done," commented Zexion as he stood up, quickly leaving the table. Roxas stood up as well, finishing up his pancake.

"But you just sat down to eat!" Axel argued.

Roxas grinned at him as he walked towards the door. "I've got something else to eat," he said, winking, as a scandalized Demyx began to choke on his own food.

-------((WHOS CONFUSED. CUZ YOU BETTER BE. XD))----

Axel stood pacing in his room, torn as to what he should do. _I could go and save my Roxy-but he's doesn't want me anymore…But I never got to explain! He needs to listen to the whole story! But he's doesn't want to listen…_ Axel sat down on his bed, his head in his hands.

"Dammit, he's going to listen if I have to force him to!" Axel said, standing up and summoning a portal to Zexion's room.

Appearing outside it, he hesitated as he moved to open the door. _He's mine!_ Axel thought determinedly as he opened the door. Axel stared as he saw Roxas pinned back onto Zexion's desk, Zexion nipping at his collarbone as Roxas fisted his hair. Axel twitched as Roxas looked right at him, panting, "Go get Demyx, Axel."

Axel paused in his shock. "Wait, what?"

"Go get Demyx." The door shut in Axel's face, leaving one confused Nobody in the hallway. He shook himself, and summoned a portal to Demyx's room.

"Demyx." he said, appearing immediately in the Nobody's room, who was curled up in a ball on his bed.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" Demyx said brokenly.

"Yes, but that's beside the point." Seeing Demyx's hurt expression, Axel softened slightly as he sat down on the bed, putting a hand on Demyx's shoulder. "We both fucked up Demyx. Now listen. I just saw the strangest thing…"

As Axel related what he saw compared to what he heard to Demyx, Demyx looked just as confused and as stricken as Axel was. "…What?"

"Exactly." Axel said, getting up and summoning a portal. "We have to go see what the hell is going on."

----((some explanation!))---

Axel warily stepped out of the portal into Zexion's room, wary of what he may see this time. Surprisingly, the two Nobodies were sitting calmly on Zexion's bed, playing cards. Demyx wordlessly walked out of the portal behind him, collapsing onto Zexion's desk chair.

"I brought him. What do you want to tell us?"

"Nothing," Roxas said offhandedly, "Except this." Without warning, he leapt at Zexion the same was he leapt at Axel in the hall the day before, kissing him hard on the lips. Demyx and Axel recoiled as Zexion moaned against him.

"Are you sorry for what you did to us?" Zexion said calmly as Roxas lifted his shirt, caressing his chest.

"_Yes,_ dammit!" They said simultaneously.

"Good." Demyx and Axel blinked, and Roxas was back where he was when they entered the room, playing Go Fish with Zexion.

Axel stared at them, puzzled. "….What just happened?"

"Nothing," Zexion replied, "Everything you saw today has been an illusion…"

-----((WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT DAY))----

"_Number XIII is very late this morning," The Superior commented offhandedly, looking at Axel. "Would you have any idea where he is?"_

_Axel shook his head, sighing as Demyx longingly stared over at Zexion's part of the table. The door suddenly opened, and Roxas walked in, opting to walk the long way around the table to his seat. _

"_Good morning, Zexion," Roxas said, patting him on the shoulder as he walked by. Zexion nodded to him._

"_Good morning to you, Roxas."_

_The Superior raised an eyebrow but refrained from comment as Roxas walked to his seat. Demyx's jaw dropped and Axel looked as if he was going to breathe fire._

"_Superior," Zexion said, "I'm going to be a little late in handing in my latest report, I have something I am working with my illusions today."_

_Xemnas nodded absently as Axel choked on his eggs he was chewing. Demyx thumped him on the back absently, staring at Zexion, waiting for him to look over at him. _

_Axel looked from Zexion to Roxas and back again. Settling for Roxas, he leaned across the table towards him. "Roxas! What did he do?"_

"_He said good morning, Axel. Is there something wrong with that?," Roxas said shortly, cutting up a pancake. "Why don't you talk to Demyx about it?" _

_Axel glared at Demyx, who looked torn between defending himself and running up to the head of the table. Axel looked back at Roxas, clearly disturbed. "But-"_

"_I'm done," commented Zexion as he stood up, quickly leaving the table. Roxas stood up as well, finishing up his pancake._

"_But you just sat down to eat!" Axel argued._

_Roxas grinned at him as he walked towards the door. "I'm not hungry anymore," he said as a scandalized Demyx began to choke on his own food._

----((AND.))---

"_Dammit, he's going to listen if I have to force him to!" Axel said, standing up and summoning a portal to Zexion's room._

_Appearing outside it, he hesitated as he moved to open the door. _He's mine!_ Axel thought determinedly as he opened the door. Axel stared as Roxas leaning over Zexion's shoulder, looking at the collection of romance novels that Zexion was showing him. Axel twitched as Roxas looked right at him, stating blankly, "Go get Demyx, Axel."_

_Axel paused in his shock. "Wait, what?"_

"_Go get Demyx." The door shut in Axel's face, leaving one confused Nobody in the hallway. He shook himself, and summoned a portal to Demyx's room._

---((AND!))----

"_Nothing," Roxas said offhandedly, "Except this." Without warning, Roxas leaned forward and asked Zexion determinedly, "Do you have any twos?"_

_Demyx and Axel recoiled as Zexion replied, "Nope. Go fish."_

"_Are you sorry for what you did to us?" Zexion said calmly as Roxas picked a card from the pile on the bed._

"_Yes, dammit!" They said simultaneously._

"_Good." Demyx and Axel blinked, and Roxas was back where he was when they entered the room, playing Go Fish with Zexion. _

----((Anyway.))-----

Axel and Demyx sat, unblinking, as Zexion recounted everything they saw that day.

"So…" Demyx started.

"There _wasn't_ any Roxas and Zexion sexing going on today?" Axel finished.

Roxas blushed and put down his cards. "No you idiots, we just needed to get back at you."

"But you don't even know what happened!" Axel said angrily, standing up from his position on the floor.

"We were having a Tray War!" Demyx blurted out. Zexion and Roxas looked over at him as he continued in one breath, "Axel was day-dreaming about Roxas so I hit him over the head with my lunch tray and it caused a battle and then I used my water ability to throw a tray at him from behind and he tripped and fell on top of me and we didn't do _anything_ I swear Zexion, why did you do this!"

Zexion blinked. "I did this because Roxas asked me to," he said shortly. Demyx sweat dropped. "I was going to hear you out before I condemned you. Besides, it's always fun to screw with you." Zexion turned pink as he openly flirted, "How could I refuse?"

Demyx thought back. "But why were you so angry at me?"

"I hadn't had time to work out what happened yet," Zexion explained. "It's alright," he stood up, opting to ignore Axel and Roxas for his pride's sake. He opened his arms to Demyx as he fell into them, happy and exhausted.

Axel stared at Roxas, stunned. "You little shit, you wanted _revenge _before you even knew what happened?!"

Roxas nodded, smirking. "Even if what you did was harmless, you _still_ gave us both minor strokes. You needed to be punished."

"Why couldn't you just punish me in a _different _way?" Axel said, winking.

Roxas pinked slightly. "Because you would _enjoy_ that punishment, which would defeat the purpose."

Axel nodded. "Guilty. So you aren't mad at me?"

"Not anymore. I was, but now I feel better."

"Come here my little sadist," Axel said, summoning a portal. "You still owe me from yesterday morning…"

Roxas grinned at him and ran after him into the portal.

---------------

Hoo. What a long 50th it is. I _kinda_ want to read it over for mistakes, but its so LONG and I need to go get ready for school! I don't think there is anything major in there. If tehres a name mix up I'm sure you can figure it out.

LOVE MY DARLINGS!

freaky-hanyou


	51. The Haircut: AkuRoku

Hoo. Hello my lovelies. I am reeeally tired, No we didn't make finals at our show choir competition, (boo), AND I have finals this week starting TUESDAY so. Updates MIIGHT be scarce, but I don't know. And Thursday I have a winter formal YAY. Do I have a dress yet? noooo.

Should be fun. I would be going stagful, but my moms like YOUWONT HAVE FUN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE as usual, and my friend tried to pawn one of her stalkers off on me, but I think I'll just ask one of the dudes going in my group to shut mom up. It'll be alright.

Alright here we goes! I think this one will be better if it was a rewind to before Aku and Roku came together. OSKLFJSKLDJFKLSDJOMG. RANDOM. but dude. So, I was reading a story by thoughtless dreamer (pimping XD) AND HER BRILLIANCE. OK SO. 1/3/08 Right? Take out the lines and you get 1308.

Let me repeat that.**13/08!**It happened folks! DUDE AND I MISSED IT. So Aranel and I decided that every thirteenth of this year, SUCH AS TODAY AND HENCE WHY I REMEMBERED, must be honored with such a thing. eee. So I will try to RokuAku-ify this.

OnlyinthisLight: Dude my email didnt tell me you reviewed! LUCKILY i always check my stats. XD ::tackles:: Eeeee. Yes it was an illusion. XD ::continues reading review:: Aw, darling, I know how you feel. My mom has had about 12 surgeries from before and after i was born and no matter how comortable i feel in a hospital now from basically living in one, it never stops being...just, eerie. You rock my socks girl.

**What If…**

_Axel needed a haircut, and Roxas was the only one _

_to comfort his nerves?_

_((As suggested by ze lurvely Zesty))_

Axel groaned as he rolled over in his bed, glaring at the offending light penetrating his room. Sure, it was strictly artificial, but its sole purpose was pestering people to come down for breakfast nonetheless. Axel grumbled to himself as he stepped out of bed, glancing in his mirror. He paused on his trek to the closet, staring at himself.

_Damn, _he thought, pulling at a lock of his constantly messy hair. _I'm looking more and more like a wild-man everyday…_Contrary to popular belief, Axel loved his hairstyle. He spent time on it even, sometimes. He just happened to like the 'I-just-had-a-good-roll-in-the-hay-so-suck-it' hairstyle. He shuddered as he thought about what The Superior would say when he noticed how out of control his hair was getting. _Oh man,_ he thought, twitching, _he's going to make me get a haircut…_

He shook his head, continuing his trek to the closet. _He wouldn't…_ he reassured himself. _There is absolutely no way._

-----((at breakfast))----

Axel munched happily at his breakfast. All was quiet at the breakfast table, with the exception of murmured conversations and outbursts from Roxas for Axel to 'stop eye-raping him.' _I might just make it,_ Axel said, standing up. _Now all I have to do I get out of here-_

"Number VIII." The Superior said, not looking up from his hash browns.

Axel winced. "…Yes, Superior?"

"You are to get a hair cut today, or I will turn you into a Dusk," he said succinctly. Axel braced his chair for support, trying not to collapse.

Roxas smirked as he watched Axel squirm. _Finally, that little shit can be the one who's uncomfortable…Serves him righ-_

"Number XIII."

Roxas looked over at the Superior, face schooled to an indifferent mask. "Sir?"

"Your mission today is to accompany Number VIII into Twilight Town and make sure that he gets a proper haircut."

Roxas grinned. "Is he to get a buzz cut sir?" Axel turned white as a sheet, sending death rays in Roxas' direction.

"No," The Superior continued, "just see to it that it is back to the normal controlled chaos that it usually is." Roxas snapped his fingers, while Axel sighed in relief.

Roxas stood up, seething slightly. "Yes, Superior." _Damn it, I don't want to go with this idiot to get a haircut,_ he thought darkly. _Who_knows_ what he'll try to do to me…_

Axel was surprisingly quiet as the two exited the cafeteria. Roxas looked over at him out of the corner of his eye, amused. _Looks like he finally shut up._he thought smugly.

They stopped outside of Axel's room, where Axel turned to go inside. Roxas stopped him, tugging on his arm.

"We have a mission to complete, Number VIII." Axel didn't turn, staring at his door.

"I'm not ready yet," he said quietly, pulling Roxas inside his room with him, despite his protests.

Once they were inside his room, Axel turned around and looked at Roxas with scared, pleading eyes. "Don't make me do it Roxas! I'll do _anything_ you want, just don't make me go get a haircut!"

Roxas stared at him, eyebrow raised. "What's so difficult about a haircut? You just sit there…"

Axel made a noise of frustration, clutching his head in his hands as he began to pace. "I don't _know!_ I've never been able to go to get my haircut without freaking out like this! It's just…the razors, and the barbers, and the _scissors!_ Roxy, I can't _do_ it! I have…a phobia or something!"

Roxas laughed at him. Axel stared at him, surprised he wasn't moved with pity for him from his panicked tirade. "It's not funny! I'm-" he stopped, pinking slightly and turning away from Roxas.

Roxas stopped laughing, turning Axel around to face him. "You're what?"

"I'm…scared," Axel whispered softly, turning around again.

Roxas paused, before hesitantly patting Axel awkwardly on the shoulder. "It's going to be fine…Axel," he said slowly. Axel relaxed slightly as Roxas attempted to soothe him. "We'll get you through this together. Besides," he said evilly, "I could always cut it for you…"

Axel jumped back from Roxas' hand, staring at him in horror. Shaking himself, he quickly summoned a portal to Twilight Town. "We're leaving right now."

Roxas continued grinning as he followed Axel through the portal.

-----((Go reverse-psych go!))-----

Axel stood outside the Twilight Town Barber Shop, frozen in place. Roxas stood next to him, letting him gather his courage for a few moments. After 10 minutes without even blinking, Roxas sighed, frustrated, and poked Axel hard in the side.

This seemed to click something in Axel's mind, and he began to speak. "If I go through with this…"

Roxas raised an eyebrow at him. Axel turned to look at him, smiling devilishly.

"Do I get a reward?" He winked.

Roxas flushed, smacking him in the shoulder as he pushed him into the store. Axel made a strangled noise in his throat as the friendly barber came up to them, involuntarily gripping Roxas' hand. Roxas hesitated momentarily before silently squeezing his hand in reassurance. Axel slowly walked over the barber's chair, dragging Roxas with him. Roxas stood next to him, momentarily letting go as the barber draped a cloth over him. Axel reached for his hand again, and Roxas immediately took it. The barber raised an eyebrow, looking questioningly at Roxas.

Roxas pinked slightly, smiling. "He's afraid of getting his hair cut," he explained.

The barber looked at Axel's mess of hair, pushing the chair towards the sink to wet it down. "I can see that…" he muttered as he prepared Axel's hair. "Just a trim then?"

Axel nodded vigorously as the barber tried to keep his head still. "Yes. Yes, definitely not too much." Axel said, closing his eyes as he was pushed in front of the mirror again.

Roxas watched as the barber slowly began to cut Axel's hair. _I kind of feel sorry for him…_he thought as Axel continued to squeeze his hand, _He really isn't that bad…_Roxas took a moment to trace his eyes down Axel's physique, tracing the contours of his face and the unique diamonds under his eyes. _He's…kind of cute actually, even when he's all flustered…_He continued to think about him as Axel tried not to squirm in the chair, his eyes squeezed shut as the barber brought out the razor…

---((good distance of time later))---

"Axel. Axel!" Roxas nudged his shoulder to bring him out of his stupor. Axel blinked, and looked at the barber.

"Am I done?"

The barber nodded, turning him towards the mirror. Axel lifted his free hand to feel his freshly trimmed red spikes, admiring how smooth they felt under his fingers. "That…actually wasn't that bad," he admitted as he was freed from the chair.

Roxas thanked the barber, paying him the appropriate amount of money before leaving the store with Axel.

Axel walked merrily down the street with Roxas, still holding onto his hand. "Thanks for coming with me, Rox," Axel said quietly, "I mean, I know you were _assigned_ to go and everything, but-"

"You're welcome," Roxas said, pinking as he squeezed Axel's hand.

Axel raised an eyebrow as Roxas led them to the alley they usually summon their exiting portal in. "Do I get my hand back now?" Axel chuckled. Roxas shook his head, not turning around to face him until they were in the alley.

"I think I'll keep it," Roxas whispered, suddenly pushing himself closer to Axel, reaching up for a heated kiss.

"Nnnf-?" was Axel's reply as Roxas pushed him into the wall, standing on tip-toe and leaning fully against Axel to gain some leverage on the taller Nobody. He slowly worked his mouth over Axel's, grazing his bottom lip with his teeth and slowly unzipping part of his cloak. Axel groaned as Roxas slipped his tongue into his mouth, gripping Roxas' hair and lifting him up with his newly-freed hand to hold him closer.

Roxas reveled in his new and taller position, breaking away from Axel's lips to kiss and nip Axel's collarbone until it left a fairly dark bruise. Then, he reached up again and angled his lips over Axel's, slipping a hand down Axel's coat.

Axel's cried out in surprise as Roxas journeyed southward, his legs going weak beneath him. He broke apart from Roxas and quickly set him down, panting.

"What…What was that?" he asked slowly, trying to comprehend what brought about the change in Roxas.

"Your reward," Roxas said shortly, summoning a portal as he stepped away from a gaping Axel.

Axel pulled him back towards him, wrapping his arms around him. "Is there any other way I could earn one of those rewards?" he whispered in Roxas' ear.

Roxas shivered, pulling back slightly. "I guess you'll just have to find out."

----------------

Dude my letters keep capitalizing without me hitting caps lock. Anyway! I actually am pleased with this one. YAY!

And I have another mini-rant! So I was reading My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada by Quillslinger (look at all the pimping I am doing today! Go me!) and it is an AMAZING story but. beside point. In her last author note, she asked if one would tell something about themselves in their review, so she could get to know them. I personally think this is an excellent idea! So, if you feel like it, could you tell me a bit about yourselves? It would really be great. You don't have to though, so don't feel obligated. 8D

So I'll do one. My name is Rosie, I am 17. I write fanfiction. (XD) I'm nearly blind when I take off my glasses, I love Ramen and Bawls, I go to and have been to ColossalCon for the past 4 years, (June omg!), and I hate high school. I also have the strangest taste in music you'll ever come across.

R and R my darlings! LOVE TO ALL!

freaky-hanyou


	52. Hair Gel: Soriku

Grrr. I have an extreme hatred of finals. And my math teacher. Ok so seriously, I get 99 and UP on EVERY FINAL BUT MATH. WHICH I FAILED BECAUSE THE TEACHER IS A ::censored for the innocent::

::stewing::

But anyway. Thanks for telling me all about yourselves my lurvelies and risking the internet! I feel like responding! (Has been stalling on this what if for ever. because part of it just wont. come to me! klsjdfkljsd)

Anyway. Here we go! Let's up that word count!

Panicchannel: Hey girl! Oh man, I wish the compie was in my room. It would be so nice to not have to worry about parentals sneaking up behind you when you're music is too loud and you're like _IM NOT READING ANYTHING BAD._ (father is a maniac homophobe) I am addicted to the 1.09 coffee at Speedway. XD _You made pants?!_ That. is. amazing.

Kiki: haah Holy Sea Salt Ice Cream…I like that one. ::twitches:: Math..iIsjfklsjklfjsIhatemath::hellfire:: Stupid math. Howd you do! hee its fun being a closet yaoi fan. eeeee.

Plain Jane: Woohoo! Its so much fun to have names that are similar, by letter even. XD No one ever has the same name as me. Which I guess is a good thing. I have 5 Michaels in my Latin class. XD Dude, AkuRokuOTP. XD

White Raven: Darling, I LOVE writing for Axel, but I'm becoming more and more attached to writing Zexion. Its so much fuN! hahah 369. Amazing. My music…Hmmm…well I lurve Jpop, like V6 etc, Musicals ::love of all loves:: and Fahrenheit, Chinese band of amazing, JUST to name a few. And like some 'normal' things like scattered Fall Out Boy songs etc, and Mae. Mae is amazing. XP Kinda music do you like?

Sora: Darlin, I like, go out of my way while writing to figure out which quote you are going to pick. Like as I'm writing, im like maybe its this one! And I'm almost always wrong. XD ….How are you a senior? Dude, that's not fair. XD OOO FLORIST amazing. I work at a dollar store. Woo. klsjdfklsjdMATH::more twitching:: Dude, do you speak _fluent_ all those? Holy wow.

OnlyinThisLight: I'm having trouble shortening your name. XD I have some of the most random fears. Public schools for example. My neighbor tells me all these freaky stories. Creeeeeeps me out. But some of my best friends are from public schools so there's really no reason for it. ANYway. haha we went a whole day with eye-raping in the conversations it was hilarious. I feel for you and your crazy town, girl. My family is just as crazy. Well…half of it is. The other half is preety good, but I can see when I get tattoos all hell is breaking loose. Dude you gave me an idea for a story with your deviant siggy. I am excited. Marlexen to boot. (dude look at the crazy: Marlexen and Marlexene. How SIMILAR is that. Craziness.) WHO DOESN'T LOVE PORN. ksdjfkljdMusicalslove. Woah roasted triscuit sounds yummmeh. Aw I wanna dress up as Axel. Amazing. Oh man, NC that sounds like something I'd do. XP

Zesty: Girl, I did say that I don't have creativity. Cuz I usually don't. Like THIS one for example, I have the premonition is going to SUCK because I cant think of a major PLOT point. XD

BlueFox: Aw girl, I hate writers block. It sucks so much. And if I said this in my PM, I have the shortest memory in the world and can therefore not remember. XD

TK: Holy LORD girl, you are the _first_ to send a 4k review my way. I was like WOOOOAH. LOVETOYOU! hah WOAH AkuZeku sounds kiiinda crazy, but then again. Crazy is fun. XD (haha your nickname suddenly reminded me of this one reviewer on lullabies of broadway. This has been a random flashback. XD) DUDE I want to play FF. Problem is I want to start from the beginning. Theres like 80 of them. haha WOAH dude it took me _centuries_ to beat KH. Ansems a bitch. hahah my sister _hates_ spoilers. its funny, cuz I really don't care either way (DEPENDING on what it is) and she's like GET AWAY ::hiss:: OOoo I read Bleach. Just got vol 21 in from the library today! Haha darling, Yaoi and all that jazz rox. ::wink:: Yeah my addiction for lemons appeared about 13 when I was reading this one story and one of the chapters was a lemon and I was like WHATS THAT and I was like …..o.o….i've never been the same since. Yaoi was slower to grow on me though. AkuRoku is what catalyzed all this. I remember arguing about how Soriku was wrong. XD haha darling, I am not capable of being scarred anymore.

Taru: Awww, your compie died? That. Sucks. I would die if mine suddenly dropped from existence. I feel for you XD

….Dude I am never doing that again. HOW can people do that for every chapter. Nkssfksdjfkls. BUT SO I HAVE BEEN SEEING AN UPTAKE OF PEOPLE HITTING THE STORY ALERT BUTTON INSTEAD OF THE REVIEW BUTTON. I KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE. XD Do I need to send Roxy back to the high security prison? XD

Be nice people. I don't bite. (That much. Kidding. XD)

Now, I cannot think of the other half of this story. So we are winging it. AHEM.

**What If…**

_Sora was out of hair gel, and Roxas was the only one _

_that knew he used it?_

_((as suggested by my darling zesty of COURSE XD))_

Sora groaned as he rolled over in his bed, glaring at the sunlight that peeked in through his blinds. He glanced at his clock, sighing as he tucked his head under the pillow. _It's a Saturday! I do not have to be up at 10 in the morning on a Saturday. I need to sleep at least two more hours._ Sora resolutely attempted to fall back asleep, but the bright sun seemed to energize every part of his being but his brain. Groggily, he sat up on the side of his bed, dragging himself to his feet. Scratching his head, he walked over to his dresser to fix his hair. His eyes widened as he saw the empty bottle of gel on top of his dresser. He never, _ever_ left his bedroom without spiking his hair. _No one_ knew that his hair wasn't naturally spiky.

Except _one_ person.

Sora was off like a shot, flying out of his room and down the hall, opening up his brothers' door, and leaping in the general vicinity of his bed. He made it on pure guess alone; his brother's bedroom was darker than a cave between the hours of sundown and 3 pm.

"ROXAS!" Sora yelled, abruptly awaking the peaceful teen from his slumber. "_You'vegottahelpme!"_ Roxas blinked before throwing Sora off of him and onto his rear on the floor out of reflex.

"What the _fuck_ Sora?" Roxas said blearily, blinking as he glanced at the clock. "It's so_ early!_ You better have a good reason for waking me up…"

Sora moved closer to him, making sure _no_ one was anywhere close enough to hear him. "I'm out of hair gel." Roxas raised an eyebrow, noticing that indeed, Sora's hair was straighter than it normally was. Then he snarled, pushing Sora back.

"You woke me up for _that? _I'm going back to bed…"

"So I can use some of yours?" Sora said hopefully, moving towards Roxas' dresser.

"No."

"But Roxas!"

"Go buy your own."

Sora looked scandalized at his twin brother. "You would make me go out into the _world_ looking like this? I wouldn't make _you_ do that!"

"I don't care," Roxas said offhandedly, "Axel _knows_ I use hair gel. He uses it too."

Sora growled in frustration. "What am I going to do?"

Roxas sighed loudly. "I don't know, and I don't give a _shit_. But if you value your life, you will be out of my room in three seconds or I am castrating you and hanging your goods like a flag."

Sora was out of the room before Roxas could finish his sentence.

------((poor Sora))------

_Stupid Roxas…_Sora thought darkly, sitting on his floor thinking. He looked over at his clock. _Hmmm…11:30…Riku is supposed to get here at 1. I guess I have time to shower before I think of my plan to get hair gel in time!_ Sora leapt up, making sure no one was in the hallway before diving for the bathroom.

Unfortunately, the water flattened Sora's hair even more, and when he towel dried it, trying to get it to stick up, it just fell limply to his shoulders. Sora glared at his reflection in the mirror as he pulled on a pair of boxers.

"I look like a brown-haired Riku…" Sora muttered, thinking aloud. "He's going to die laughing if he sees me like this…" He snuck back to his room to finish changing into 'Battle Mode.' As he pulled on his clothes, he opened his closet to look at the hats he had. _Hmmm…baseball caps won't cover my hair, a fireman's hat is too conspicuous, and a lime green pimp hat is a _definite_ no…_ Sora picked up his tall red and white Dr. Seuss hat cautiously. He sighed as he took it with him to his dresser.

"I guess I have no choice." He put down the hat, pulling his hair into as high of a ponytail as he could. He positioned the hat over his head, effectively covering his hair.

"There is no way I am getting to the store looking like this...Unless…"

Grinning mischievously, he snuck downstairs to the garage, looking for his brother's skateboard…

-----((High Ho Sora, AWAY!))-----

Sora whizzed down the pavement flying towards the convenience store. He grinned to himself, dodging people left and right as he held onto his hat with one hand. _Ha! _He thought happily, _people can't stare at me if they can't focus on me long enough!_ He slowed at the front of the store, picking up the skateboard and putting it to the side. He walked into the convenience store, making a beeline for his destination. However, as he turned down the appropriate aisle, his eyes widened as he saw Riku perusing the shampoos right next to the hair gel. He squeaked and dove into the next aisle over. Riku looked up, but saw nothing.

_Strange,_ he thought, _I thought I heard Sora's squeak…_Riku shook his head and continued his shopping.

Sora however, was in the next aisle over, panting. _Of _course_ he's here…_he thought sourly. _Life wouldn't be interesting enough if he wasn't!_ He glared at a passing family as the youngest child laughed and pointed at his hat. Preoccupied in his thoughts, he didn't bother to apologize as he slowly made his way down the neighboring aisle. Tentatively, he peeked his head over, seeing where Riku had gone. Sora sighed in relief as he saw Riku walking down the far end of the aisle, heading for the check out. Sora relaxed and walked over to his destination, picking up a bottle of hair gel. Unfortunately, said bottle happened to be wedged between two others a little too closely, and caused a minor bottle avalanche. Sora froze as Riku turned around, smiling as he saw Sora.

"I _knew_ I heard you-Why are you wearing that crazy hat?" Riku quirked an eyebrow as Sora hurriedly picked up all the bottles he dropped, blushing furiously. He tried to walk away, but Riku held on to his shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?" Sora slowly turned to look at him, panicking. Riku chuckled at how ridiculous Sora looked in his Dr. Seuss hat.

"I can't take you seriously in that hat," he said, still laughing, as he quickly pulled it off before Sora could protest. Riku gasped, seeing Sora's hair, unspiked! and in a ponytail.

"Sora, what-" Sora lunged for his hat, silently mashing it back on his head. He grabbed his hair gel, power-walked to the check out, threw some munny down, and dove for his skateboard, speeding away before Riku could even blink.

-------((oh business))------

Sora didn't even bother to spike his hair as he sat pouting on his bed, counting down the seconds before Riku would arrive. _Based on the time I left, his reaction, and the relation of Mars to Venus on the 22__nd__ of February he should be here in three, two…_Sora braced himself as the door flew open, revealing a puzzled and slightly amused Riku.

"Sora, was I hallucinating or did I see you with straight hair at the convenience store?" Riku strolled over to the bed, lifting the lump that was Sora up and leaning against him.

Sora sighed. "Yes, you did…" He tentatively pulled off his hat and pulled out his ponytail, revealing his slightly wavy shoulder length brown locks.

Riku stared at Sora before bursting out into laughter, falling back onto the bed. Sora turned around, glaring at him. "What's so funny?!"

"You!" Riku managed.

Sora glared at him. "Don't make me kick you out of this bedroom…" he threatened. Riku quickly sobered, sitting up.

"I'm sorry," he apologized automatically, grinning. "It's just…you never knew that I knew you used hair gel?"

Sora blinked. "You…knew?"

Riku chuckled. "Duh! It's kind of hard _not_ to know when your hair is unnaturally stiff in parts when I run my fingers through it…"

Sora pinked. "Why didn't you tell me? It could have saved me _so_ much trouble today!"

Riku grinned. "I find it endearing that you'd go to such great lengths to hide such a 'secret' from me, so I didn't want to ruin your fun," he said, pulling Sora into a hug. "And now that I know," he whispered, "you could leave it like this more often…" Riku pulled Sora closer, running his fingers through his hair.

"Are you saying you don't like my spiky hair?" Sora said, mock offended.

Riku chuckled. "Of course not. I'm just saying, change is a good thing…" he smirked and pulled Sora in for a kiss.

Sora pulled back a moment, grinning evilly. "Maybe you should spike your hair."

Riku shuddered. "Never."

"But change is good!"

"Shut up, Sora…" Riku said, covering his mouth with his.

-----------------

Meh, I only like the last bit of this one. XD I have a lime green pimp hat. Its amazing. AND I was GOING to have Roxas make Sora do something so then he'd give him the hair gel, but I couldn't think of anything for like a week, SO I gave up and changed the plot direction.

It works.

R AND R DARLINS!

freaky-hanyou


	53. Crossdressing: Zemyx

ugh. I do not want to go to school tomorrow. Like. More than normal. Ick. But my reviewers! You are being so nice! AND. Some of you have never reviewed before::winks at those lovelies:: Yes, I can tell. XD

Before ANYTHING else commences, OnlyinthisLight thought of the funniest line EVER. like. I was kicking myself that I didn't put it in the story. So it must be shared:

"…When he jumped on Roxas there for a second I thought Roxas was gonna shout "Dammit, Axel!-oh, wait"…"

I was dying. XD

ANYWAY. I do realize that I scarred a lot of folk with my Straight Hair!Sora. I scarred myself! XD And quicky now, Zesty you're what ifs are lovely XD, TK you're reviews are AMAZING and it was TK that reminded me of this person in Lullabies of Broadway, Plain Jane I think you asked me that before and I forgot (::innocent::)! It means One True Pairing. I had to look it up myself. XD Kiki, oh man Axel makes you think about math? You poor thing. AND OSDJFLKSDJFIOSKLFSJ THAT DAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!?! That is damned creepy. And SORA I TOTALLY HAD THE QUOTE RIGHT AND THEN YOU CHANGED IT. XD

And OnlyinthisLight I _will_ make it work. I even went digging to see where in the lineup it was. XD (And I'm saving my 411 for april. XD)

AND ALL OF MY DARLINGS TELL ME WHEN ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY SO I CAN SING TO YOU! I KNOW THERE ARE A FEW COMING UP. XD

Alright here we go! Oh and this one was _officially_ suggested by one person, but many people said it? So its kind of communal…

**What If…**

_Because of what Demyx said in Chapter 19 ((_look it up XD

_he had to dress as a woman?_

_((as suggested by the following lovelies: Noones, Link-chan, Larxene-NumberXII, and anyone else I missed trying to dig through the reviews. XD))_

Demyx tossed and turned as he attempted to get some sleep

"_If he reads that book ever, I'll dress as a woman," he said offhandedly to himself, and stuffed the book back on the shelf…_

He groaned and turned sharply, accidentally hitting his head into the wall. He woke with a start, his words echoing in his mind. Shaking himself, he slowly rolled over to face the empty room.

"Godammit!" he swore to himself, "Why is this plaguing me? It's not like I took an oath or anything…It was me just making a stupid bet with myself! It's not like I have to do it!" He sighed as he argued futilely with himself. "This is stupid…" he rolled back over and fell back asleep slowly.

_---------_

"_If he reads that book ever, I'll dress as a woman," he said offhandedly to himself, and stuffed the book back on the shelf…_

_-------_

Demyx slowly ate his eggs the next morning, debating on choking himself so that he would be able to get some decent sleep. Axel stared at him as he inhaled his breakfast.

"Demyx are you alright? You look like you had a battle with an ironing board and lost," he said, observing his blackened eyelids and his overall hung-over look. "Have you been getting into the booze? You might want to lay off a bit…"

Demyx nodded absently, slowly continuing to eat. Axel's grin turned devious, and he kicked Roxas across the table. "Psst!" he whispered conspiratorially, as if Demyx was really listening. "I can say _anything_ I want and he will just nod! Watch!"

"Hey Demyx?" Demyx took a bite of his eggs to prove he was listening. "Do you sleep in girl's lingerie?"

Demyx nodded, taking a sip of milk.

"Do you secretly cry as you watch Days of Our Lives?"

Demyx nodded again, trying not to fall asleep on the table.

"Have you and Zexion done any role-playing involving a chef, a spatula, and a plate of linguini?"

Demyx nodded again, seemingly off in outer space.

"That's _enough_, Number VIII," Zexion said sternly, listening in from slightly further up the table. Axel and a few other members snickered as Zexion blushed profusely, hurriedly finishing his breakfast.

Demyx, who did not register any of this conversation, finished his breakfast and slowly walked off to perform his mission quickly, intending on getting in a nap afterward.

--------------

"_If he reads that book ever, I'll dress as a woman," he said offhandedly to himself, and stuffed the book back on the shelf…_

-----------------

"I GET IT!" Demyx yelled, startled out of his nap by the same repeating memory. He sat up on the side of his bed with his head in his hands. "I guess there's only one way to get my sleep back, huh?" he asked the room as he stood up to grab his cloak.

"It's off to Twilight Town then," he sighed, summoning a portal to the world.

---------------

Demyx slowly walked down the aisles of the Women's section at the discount store, clearly uncomfortable. _Hmm…what should I buy? I'm not wearing it ever again, no matter what it is…_ Demyx slowed as he came upon a dark blue high school uniform, complete with short skirt and sailor top. He looked up and down the aisle before slowly picking it up. It was within his price range.

_I shouldn't…then again, no one is going to know… _He grinned conspiratorially as he walked on. _Maybe I should get some matching shoes…_

After picking out a pair of black polyester knee high boots, Demyx slowly walked to the check out. He hummed to himself as he purchased his items, ignoring the weird looks he was getting from those around him and the cashier. _After this, I'll be able to sleep again!_ He nearly burst into song as he stepped out of the store and summoned a portal straight to his room.

------------

Demyx checked the time, making sure that Zexion would not accidentally walk in on this whole affair. _There is no possible way, _he decided. _He should be knee-deep in Heartless right now…This will be done quickly. _Demyx locked his door and stripped, putting on the uniform quickly. He sat down on his bed and struggled with the boots, slowly pulling them up his leg.

"Ugh, _clearly_ these weren't made for a man…" he stood up slowly so as not to fall back onto the bed. He stood in front of his mirror, smiling slightly to himself.

_I don't look half bad,_ he thought, critiquing himself. "There!" he called out to the empty room. "I did it! Are you happy?"

"I would be if I knew what was going on." Demyx's eyes widened, turning to see Zexion behind him, leaning on his door.

"But…you….how?" Demyx questioned, speechless.

"I finished early, and I entered using a portal. Locking your door is not a very effective manner of keeping people out." He circled the stunned Demyx, looking him up and down. "Are we role playing and I was not notified?"

Demyx blushed. "No! Not at all. It's just I haven't been sleeping lately…"

"So you thought that dressing as a schoolgirl would help you fall asleep?" Zexion tried to reason.

Demyx turned redder. "Do you remember when I hid that letter in your Harry Potter book?"

Zexion raised an eyebrow at the change in conversation. "Yes?"

"Well, when I did, I said that if you ever read that book I would dress as a woman," Demyx clarified. "And I haven't been sleeping recently because of that stupid dream, so I figured I should just get it over with so I could sleep!" He sighed in frustration, collapsing into his desk chair.

Zexion chuckled, walking over to him and patting his shoulder. "Only you, Demyx."

Demyx stood up and stared at him in frustration. "Only me what?"

"Only you would have to do such a thing to be able to sleep at night," he said, laughing.

Demyx glared at him, pouting. Zexion sobered, grinning at him. "You know, you look really cute when you do that."

Demyx's pout turned into a sly smirk. "Really? I thought you didn't want to role-play…"

Zexion slowly ran his hands up Demyx's arms to his shoulders, moving closer. "Now, I never said that. I'd just like to be _notified_ if we were…In this case, you, being the naughty schoolgirl, need to be _punished."_ He swiftly smacked Demyx on the rear, leering at him.

Demyx chuckled. "I forgot you had a kinky side."

"We all have our secrets," Zexion whispered, nibbling on Demyx's ear. "Now where to start?"

Suddenly, a rattling noise could be heard from Demyx's door. They both turned, amused, to hear the conversation from behind it.

"It's locked Roxy! I can't barge in at the perfect moment this time!"

"It's your own damned fault for not checking the door first."

"Well we can't interrupt them now! What am I going to do for fun?"

"Psh, I see how valuable I am to you then."

"Oh I could always do you for fun Roxy," they could practically hear the grin on his face, "but this is more of a hobby than anything…"

"Think they'll notice if we sneak off to my room?" Zexion whispered.

"Not a chance," Demyx replied as he summoned a portal.

--------------------

hahah THEYCOULDNT INTERRUPT! Heee I liked that one. And I totally have ran my head into the wall during sleep many a time. Gave myself a minor concussion once.

R AND R MY DAHLINGS. LOVE TO ALL!

freaky-hanyou


	54. The Picnic: AkuRoku

Ok so basically we have the Twilight Zone in WhatIfland now. Because not only did I accidentally pick Kiki's birthday and put it in a story, _both_ Zesty _and_ OnlyinthisLight have the _same birthday._

Freaky? I think so.

AND OMYGOODNESS I AM GETTING MORE AND MORE NEW REVIEWERS EVERY DAY. ::HUG ATTACK!:: You people rock my socks. Darlings, it does not matter if you have reviewed much, the point is you just did! And this ALL contributes to freeing Roxas! Yay!

haha but yes, _two_ fics now where Zexy is kinky. Its fun! XD

Oh dude Kiki, 'burning passion' was my connection thought too. XD

Ok so, this one really doesn't have a plot. Like, at all. But I swear it isn't going to be another Sleepover. ::collective shudder:: Its basically a fluff session. Not even fluff, just WAFF. XD ((Warm and Fuzzy Feelings))

WHEEE.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas went on a picnic date_

_and it started raining?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Plain Jane Is A Vampire))_

Roxas rolled over in Axel's bed, sighing as he snuggled into Axel's chest. _Thank goodness today is our day off…_he thought lazily, twirling a pattern into Axel's chest with a finger. _No having to rush anywhere, do anything…_

Axel chuckled, slowly waking from his sleep. "Stop it, Roxy that tickles!" He cracked open an eye, grinning down at the blonde sharing his bed. "Mornin, sunshine."

Roxas smiled. "Morning." He reached up and placed a chaste kiss on Axel's lips before collapsing back onto his chest. "I swear it takes too much work to climb up your lanky body," Roxas muttered, snuggling back down into the covers.

Axel smirked, cuddling Roxas closer and kissing his forehead. "But the reward is always the greatest at the top right?" he said, grinning.

Roxas smirked deviously. "Or at the bottom…" he winked at Axel as one of his hands snaked under the blanket…

Axel jerked involuntarily. "Hey!" he said, pulling his hands back out of the blanket. "Don't you want to leave this bed at some point today?"

Roxas put on an innocent smile. "Maybe…So, what are we going to do today anyway?"

"Besides have baskets and baskets of SuperSex?"

Roxas snorted. "And what exactly makes _Super_Sex, super?"

Axel winked. "You'll see. I have a plan!"

------((time elapse))-----

Roxas strolled out of the portal Axel had summoned, marveling at the exquisite landscape. He looked around, noticing the soft green grass, shady trees, and the clear blue lake with an upside-down boat next to it.

"Where are we, exactly?" Roxas asked.

"Somewhere deep in The Jungle," Axel explained. "I found this by accident one day. And it's the perfect place to have a picnic!" Axel hefted a picnic basket from behind him, placing it in a shady spot near the lake. He opened the basket, pulling out the traditional white and red checkered blanket, and spread it out on the grass. Roxas moved to sit down on the blanket, but Axel stopped him.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

Axel grinned. "I'd like to carry you over the threshold of this picnic blanket."

Roxas gave him a quizzical look. "Are we getting _married_ on this picnic?"

Axel smiled as he lifted the blonde up bridal style before he could protest. "You never know Roxy," he whispered as he set him down, "You never know."

Roxas chuckled at the crazy way Axel's mind worked. "So what food did you pack for us?"

"Eight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, strawberries, and water."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Eight sandwiches?"

Axel grinned. "2 for you; 6 for me!" Roxas sighed as he flopped back onto the blanket.

"It's a wonder you stay so thin." Suddenly, a thought occurred to Roxas, and he sat up again. "So you brought strawberries…"

Axel nodded, eyes glinting deviously.

"But no whipped cream?"

Axel laughed, wrapping an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "I figured we'd save that for home…"

Roxas shuddered, leaning towards Axel. "Mmm…Good idea."

Axel smiled, leaning them both back on the blanket, propping himself up around Roxas with an elbow. "So do you want to eat now, or later?"

Roxas winked. "What am I eating?"

"Well," Axel whispered, moving closer, "You could always have me for an appetizer…"

Roxas smiled, pulling Axel closer to him. "That sounds like a good idea," he replied, sealing his lips over Axel's. Axel smirked into Roxas' lips as he quickly took control, running a hand up and down Roxas' side. Roxas inhaled sharply as Axel's other hand rested itself on Roxas' thigh and slowly inched inward. Roxas dug his nails into Axel's shoulders, pulling apart to breathe.

"This seems like such a perfect day…" Axel whispered, kissing Roxas on the forehead.

On cue, a clap of thunder was heard overhead, immediately being followed by pouring rain. Axel and Roxas sad up abruptly, being shielded very little under the tree.

"You just _had_ to say it didn't you?" Roxas yelled over the pouring rain.

Axel didn't reply, and looked for shelter that they could hide in. Spotting the boat, he grabbed Roxas' hand and ran toward it. He lifted it up, and crawled inside. Roxas stared at him for a moment before following suit. However, being a boat on dry land, there was not much space under it, so Roxas laid himself out fully on top of Axel to be in the most comfortable position.

Roxas glowered a he watched the rain through the few holes in the sides of the boat, stewing silently.

Axel looked up at him, sighing. "Oh come on Roxy, it's just a little rain-"

"I know," Roxas said, cutting him off. "It's just…"

Axel stared into Roxas' sad blue eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin our-"

"I'm just really _really_ hungry."

Axel glared at him. "Well, _fine,_ see if I ever put out anymore."

Roxas glared at him. "Excuse me? I do believe it is _me_ who does the 'putting out' in this relationship."

Axel chuckled. "True, but you don't really need to try..." he looked sideways at one of the holes. "I'm sad I left the strawberries over there…"

Roxas shifted closer to Axel's ear, whispering, "Strawberries go better with whipped cream…" Axel shivered, looking up at Roxas.

"You know, it doesn't look like the rain is going to let up any time soon," he said, leering. "And it's too cramped to summon a portal…Why don't we find something to do to pass the time?"

Roxas grinned roguishly at him, eyes glinting. "I know something we could do…" He settled himself more fully on top of Axel.

Axel smirked as Roxas moved closer to him. "I wonder what that could be…"

"Oh just shut up already." Roxas said, kissing Axel hard on the mouth. Axel cried out at Roxas' assertiveness, melting into the soft ground below him as Roxas ran his hands over Axel's covered chest, tracing the same patterns from this morning over him as his tongue worked its way into Axel's mouth. Axel laughed into the kiss, tickled by the action. In response, he wrapped one hand around Roxas' shoulders, while the other moved down to the zipper of Roxas' cloak. Roxas pulled back, stopping him.

"Not here," he whispered, "it's too cold out in the rain…"

Axel nodded wordlessly, bringing his other hand to rest on Roxas' hip as Roxas continued doodling on Axel's chest. Axel moaned softly when Roxas shifted, moving to nibble at his neck and trace the patterns on his collarbone. Axel turned his head to give Roxas better access to both, looking out the hole at the rain.

"Roxy," he whispered, voice cracking slightly, "the rain is stopping…"

Roxas hummed a response, and Axel shivered slightly. "Shall we screw lunch and have an indoor picnic in my room?" Axel continued inquiring.

Roxas made the same noise, pulling back slightly. "That's a wonderful idea," he said, leaning back to tip the boat so they could get out. Axel got up, and walked over to the picnic basket, quickly packing up the blanket.

"So the SuperSex was supposed to happen on a picnic blanket?" Roxas asked as Axel packed the things away.

Axel smirked. "Oh, it's still happening. The location will just be different."

He summoned a portal, gesturing for Roxas to go first.

"Ladies first," Axel said, bowing slightly.

Roxas glared at him. "That kind of talk will get you nothing but peanut butter and jelly today."

Axel smiled at him. "XIIIs first, then."

Roxas smiled, stepping into the portal. "I think I'll go get the whipped cream from the kitchen…"

"It's already under my bed!" Axel called after him as he followed quickly.

---------------------

See? No plot to speak of. Just good ol' lovin. I liked that one, actually. Whee!

You better R and R. I was waiting for review number 400, but. I didn't. Because I'm nice. XD

LOVE!

freaky-hanyou


	55. The Bet: Cleon

You people better love me. Because I am a lazy ass, and I know I am. XD Damn proud too, but I spent this entire weekend reading. That's it. AND what SUCKS is that I got to this _really_ good part in Ceres (only took like, 8 volumes for it to pick up XD) and THEN someone died and then ANOTHER someone "died" who _better_ come back and I DON'T HAVE THE LAST TWO VOLUMES. ::snarlies:: BUT. a new FY Genbu Kaiden FINALLY effing comes out Tuesday. SO I spent today rereading all of it. all five. Woot.

But it cracks me up how EVERYbody Watase draws has similarities to eachother. Like Yuhi and Tomite and then Tamahome and Night and Toya and Uruki? ((Don't even get me_started_ on Abs. Boyfriend…))

But anyway, the moral of the story is I am tired, but you reviewers have been so kind that I just cannot stand the guilt. AND HERES THE IMPORTANT PART: Ok so, I have obviously been dancing on the rating line, and _this_ one will be living proof because I have thought of _such a dirty plot_ but. I decided to go a different route Still dirty, but a liiiiiitle better.

Anyway. I have been debating since some of your suggestions can only be written in M, if I should either A. Up the rating, or B. Make an entirely different story called What If: For the Older Kids and put them there. ((honestly don't give a HOOT if young folk read it, but FFNET does so…))

But yeah let me know what you think. And it's a Cleon today, so naturally that means its going to suck because its so much fun to make Leon love sports and I_know_ that probably isn't his character. OOC ahead children.

And quickly now: HEY SORA WHENS YER BIRTHDAY!? XD Onlyinthislight you and _Zesty_ have the same birthday and it is a freaky experience. XD Sillies. And TK! I have too. AND SLEEPOVER REFERENCE IS THE HORRIBLE HORRRIBLE CHAPTER 45 THAT I REWROTE CUZ I WAS TIRED WHEN I WROTE IT-

::stops abruptly::_Oh_man I hope this one doesn't come out like that one.

Damn. Alright seriously shutting up. ::steels self:: BTW this weeks making itself to be a bitch. So you know. XD

**What If…**

_Cloud lost a bet to Leon?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Plain Jane))_

"Hey Leon what kind of lotion do you like?" Cloud asked as he walked into the living room from the kitchen, "I can never remember-"

He paused as he looked upon his boyfriend, who was sprawled out on the couch and staring avidly at the television screen. Not paying attention to him at all.

"Leon? Hey Leon, are you listening? Yoo-whoo-"

"Shh. Game's on. Crucial part."

Cloud approached the television, peering over to see what Leon was so immersed in. _It figures,_ he thought, rolling his eyes as he saw the tied score of the Green Bay Packers and the New York Giants. _Why does he have to be such a sports fanatic?_ Cloud sat down in front of the couch, attempting in vain to be immersed in the football game as well.

He looked up at Leon, blowing his bangs away from his face. _If it was sword fighting or karate,_ sure_ I'd be interested…but football? No way._ After five minutes, Cloud could take it no longer. He stood up, blocking Leon's view of the television.

"Hey!" Leon said automatically, trying to regain his view of the football game. "There's only two minutes left!"

"I don't care," Cloud said, reaching for the remote, "I want to watch something that interests me for once."

Leon looked at him incredulously. "But you don't _like_ watching television."

Cloud paused. "…True, but I'm still sick of you worshiping it like it is some kind of god or something." Cloud pushed Leon over, sitting on the Couch beside his head. He sighed. "I'd like some attention to you know."

Leon spared him a brief glance before returning to watch the final minutes of the game. "You'll get it! After the game is over…"

Cloud made an exasperated sound in his throat. "_No_, dammit, you're done! I'll just sit here and annoy the _hell_ out of you for the last minutes of the game and then you'll lose focus and by default you won't pay attention and I will have successfully distracted you as I am doing right now so then you will be wasting brain cells attempting to tune me out and watch the game at the same time so its really pointless trying to ignore me-"

Leon twitched. "Cloud. I just want to watch the last part of my football game, so _please_ just shut up until it's over?"

Cloud smirked. "Don't bet on it."

Leon's eyes suddenly glinted with an evil idea. "Indeed," he said mysteriously. "Why don't we make this a bet?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "What, exactly are you implying?"

"I'll make a bet on the football game." Cloud flopped back against the couch exasperatedly as Leon sat up, excited about his idea. "Seriously! If my team, the Giants, win, _you_ have to stop talking for the next 24 hours."

"And if the Packers win…?"

Leon thought a minute. "If the Packers win…." Leon hesitated before continuing. "I won't watch the Super Bowl."

Cloud froze, shocked at Leon's high stakes. "But…you _love_ the Super Bowl-!"

Leon nodded and put out his hand. "Do we have a deal?"

Cloud grinned. "You are _so_ going down," he said as he shook his hand.

As Cloud and Leon watched the game, Cloud discovered that football wasn't half bad._It's quite fun when you have a team to cheer for,_ he said, cheering as the game went into the final minute.

"Come on, _make the field goal-"_ Leon said as the final seconds dwindled.

"_Dammit!" _he swore, as the Giants kicker misses, sending the game into over time. Leon smothered his face into a pillow. "This is too much pressure."

"Oh relax, Leon," Cloud said, grinning. "Then again…Fate loves me more than you, and therefore you are doomed to lose."

"We'll see about that," Leon retorted as the game began the overtime round.

------((Heeee football.))-------

Cloud stared at the television in shock and disbelief. "An _interception…_"

"And an amazing field goal!" Leon rejoiced as he all but danced in his place on the couch. "I get to watch the Super Bowl! And _you,"_ he said, pointing to Cloud, "can't talk anymore!"

Cloud made to retort, but Leon raised a finger. "Ah! Nope! Not a word!" he grinned as he stood up to go to the kitchen.

"I think it's going to be a very pleasant night."

Cloud sighed frustratedly as he followed Leon into the kitchen.

"Say Cloud, you wouldn't mind if I ate your last Fudge-sickle would you?" Leon asked, purposely looking away from Cloud as he spoke.

Cloud shook his head vehemently, but Leon didn't turn to look. "No? Great!" He turned around, smiling devilishly as he ate the treat. "This is fun!" he said deviously. "I should get you to bet on sports more often…"

Cloud was getting pissed about not being able to argue. Suddenly getting an idea, he ran upstairs to get something as Leon finished off his ice cream. He returned quickly, writing furiously on a dry erase board with a purple marker. When finished, he turned it around, thrusting it in front of Leon. It read:

_You owe me a new box of Fudge-sickles, asshole._

Leon smirked. "But you didn't _say_ you wanted any!"

Cloud erased his writing, and scribbled down some more.

_You are such a sadistic little bastard, you know that?_

"Damn proud," Leon said, leaving the kitchen and heading for the upstairs. He turned around. "Are you coming? It's so much fun to torment you."

Cloud glared, but reluctantly followed him up the stairs to their bedroom.

----((here's that bit I was going to make longer but then it wouldn't be T then would it XD))---

Cloud flopped down on their bed, growling into the pillow. He grabbed onto the dry erase board.

_This is really frustrating, you know._

Leon's smile turned more devious. "I know," he said, falling down on the bed beside him, "And it's about to get a _whole _lot worse…"

Cloud raised an eyebrow as Leon rolled over top of him, throwing the dry erase board off the bed. "Don't speak," he whispered as he began to place slow, lazy kisses on the side of Cloud's neck. Cloud groaned, biting his lips together to keep from speaking.

"I could be really evil you know," Leon said, hovering just above Cloud's lips, "What do you think?"

Cloud only stared up at him with hungry eyes, licking his lips as he closed the distance between them. Leon smirked as his hands ran up and down Cloud's sides, one resting on his hip while the other traced his abdomen. Cloud pulled away from the kiss, gasping.

"L-"

Leon raised an eyebrow, meaning to stand up and leave. Cloud stopped forming the word quickly, silencing himself once more. He wrapped a hand in Leon's hair as the other traced his jaw, inhaling sharply when Leon's hand dipped lower….

-----(( ::stops:: For the rating, AND the fact. I don't write lemons. Not yet anyway.))----

Cloud yawned loudly as he woke up to the sun's rays peeking in through the window. He groaned, rolling over in Leon's arms. He was about to speak when he remembered the occurrences of the day before.

He smiled at the sleeping Leon beside him, before reaching over the bed, grabbing his dry erase board. He wrote out a message, and slipped out from the covers, heading for the bathroom.

Leon stirred, rolling over to where Cloud would be. He made a noise of surprise when, instead of his face meeting Cloud's warm chest, he was met with a cold dry erase board. He sat up, reading:

_Hey. Due to your…rambunctious and rather energetic behavior last night, I am in need of a long, hot shower. Obviously I still can't talk yet. Come visit me and we can continue last night. ::insert sexy grin here:: _

_By the way, you are so getting payback come Super Bowl time._

_Cloud_

Leon grinned, rolling out of bed to head for the shower.

--------------

Meh, it wasn't that bad. And I have never written a lemon before, ive _read_ over 200 now, (we counted one day XD) but I'm not sure if I'll ever write one.

And I was going to have this story be a Cloud/Leon, and have Cloud be the uke when he lost the bet. But _that_ is a definite high rating.

Btw, the next few What Ifs are rather Emo. Be warned.

AND to all those Pats fans out there. I hate the Patriots, they cheat and deserve to lose. XD Putting that out there.

So let me know you're ratingful opinions of what I should do my darlings!

Til we meet again!

freaky-hanyou


	56. Memories: AkuRoku

You folk. I was _going_ to write one of my own ideas, BUT I am in quite the sad mood, SO I figured HEY. let's be Emo Productive! (EP XD) So. Here I am! I haven't thought _any_ of this out yet, so screw it.

AND, because of the whole I don't flipping know anything that happened while Roxas was in T-Town and Axel was alone at the organization, THIS one is going to defy canon.

_And_ end happy I hope. XD (How sad is that I don't even know XD) I'm pretty sure it is.

Anyway, I've decided that when I do reach one of those What Ifs that is _humanly_ impossible to make T, it will be put in a new story. I am only doing this cuz there aren't enough to change the rating, and there will only be a few. XD I would just put a warning in the beginning of the chapter, but I just have _visions_ of ffnet discovering and taking it off and THEN busting me for interactiveness or something stupid.

K quickly now. HEY SORA WHENS YER BIRTHDAY. XD (watch you'll review before I post. XD) ahhaa I love how all of you feel for Cloud. XD ahha Kigichi, most of _yours_ are going in the M. XP AND Axel as a girl is quite a popular request. XD Unfortunately, _your_ crazy emo ones are months away. The Master List has grown out of control. But I'm catching up! XD I hope. Random Reviewer, not many people know I _read_ yaoi let alone _write_ it.

Zesty. 5k!? Good lord girl, quite a review. Omlord I would die if my computer broke you poor thing. mine's a trooper though. Survived over 100k viruses. XD and in fact, YOUR emo ones are next on the list XD GO figure. (bday is Dec 4th) DUDE THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA FOR A FIC. REMIND ME in June in case I forget. XD AND Valentines stuff anytime, Kiki sent one a bit ago, Ima just going to skip to them like I did for Christmas. And all requests are final. I'll think of something for it. XD

…We need to count how many times I go XD. cus my fav smilie doesn't show up with ffnet stories. that and the squiggle.

ANYHOO Kiki I feel for you and your Christianness girl, my dad told me he was worried about my soul one day. -.- I _kinda_ wanna watch Blair witch, BUT I get scared easily. XD Hey Onlyinthislight, that's ME in an inidans game. XD

AND IM LOVIN THE HATE ON THE PATRIOTS. XD (Sorry Zoe, I have boston friends too XD) Boston teams have lost their love from me. (mumblegrumbleredsoxbitchesgrumble)

What else needs a comment of huge…um…Hikari, if I wrote that it'd be the same! XD Well maybe _some_ bits would be different, but the _main_ plot bits would be the same. XD Can you _tell_ I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Yes. it would be the same. Cept maybe Cloud would watch solely for the commercials, and Leon would lose the right to talk. Same concept still. XD BUT if YOU think of a different What If involving the SuperBowl girl, I'll be glad to write it!

AND OMG TK THANK YOU! I CHANGED IT RIGHT AWAY. This is the bad thing about No beta. BUT those are silly cuz then it takes longer to update. (Shhhh, no one else noticed…XD)

Wow. Definitely longest authors note ever. What can I say, I love talking to you people. XD

ANYHOO. and remember! This. Defies. Canon. XD

**What If…**

_Roxas found something that would replay someone's memories,_

_and saw what Axel went through when Roxas left?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

Roxas stretched out lazily on Axel's bed as he watched Axel change into his pajamas.

Axel raised an eyebrow as he pulled on a loose T-shirt. "See something interesting?"

Roxas grinned. "Hey, I have the right to look. After all I have been gone for quite awhile."

Axel's face softened as he laid down on the bed next to Roxas. "You were gone for almost a year, Roxas…" he said quietly. "You've never been gone that long before…"

"Well, look at all the good it did, right? We learned more about the Keyblade, so we'll be able to get more hearts! And, I know about my Somebody, like all of you…" He smiled. "Shit, he even _woke_ up and I still got to keep existing. Tell me that isn't a good thing!"

"Do you remember what happened in Twilight Town, Roxas?"

Roxas paused. "…Kind of. Most of those memories were lost when I woke up Sora. Why?"

Axel shook his head. "No reason." He shifted, wrapping his arms around Roxas' smaller form and pulling the covers over top them. "Bedtime!"

Roxas looked up at Axel questioningly, but didn't comment. _He's hiding something…_ "Night."

----((dodged that bullet, sorta. XD))----

_You really don't remember…It's me, Axel. _

_Axel?_

_Talk about blank with a capital "B."_

………

_We're…best friends, right?_

_Sure…but I'm not getting turned into a Dusk for-Wait a sec! You remember now?_

_Y…eah._

_Great! But, gotta make sure and all, so, umm…What's our boss's name?_

…

_Can't believe this…_

………

_Simply amazing Roxas! You really _do_ remember me this time. I'm so __**flattered! **__But you're too late!_

………

_No one would miss me._

_That's not true…I would._

----------

Axel shot up in bed as the alarm went off, consequently face-planting Roxas into the pillow when he shifted abruptly. Roxas made a 'mrwmf..?!' noise as he regained his senses, and sat up.

"What happened Axel? Where's the fire?" he smirked at his own lame pun.

For once, Axel didn't take the bait to make a snappy remark. "I'm sorry…I had a….nightmare."

Roxas stared at him, eyes going soft. "Would you like to talk about it? It helps, sometimes."

Axel quickly shook his head, standing up. "No, that's alright, I'm fine…Besides, we have to get moving or we'll be late for breakfast."

Roxas sighed as he stood up as well. _Yep. Definitely hiding something. The question is what?_

-----------

Roxas growled in frustration as he took out Heartless after Heartless in the forest in Wonderland. _Stupid Superior…_he grumbled, _today was supposed to be 'Twilight Town Patrol Duty' after out little stunt with Marluxia's rose garden and a can of Crisco…He's catching on to us._

As Roxas sliced through the final Large Body, he landed on his feet, stumbling as one of his feet found purchase on something round. He slipped, falling straight onto the ground.

"My, my," a floating mouth said, "Not very graceful are we?" The mouth slowly grew a cat's body and grinning face, revealing the Cheshire cat as is walked slowly around Roxas.

"The hell?" Roxas said, picking up the small object that caused him to trip. It was no bigger than his fist, with sides like a soccer ball, reflecting aquamarine light on each side. He examined it closely.

"Are there…people in this?" He noticed little figures interacting on each facet, as if different movies all spliced into one.

The Cheshire cat smiled widely. "Aah! You have quite a treat there! Or is it a curse? Takes quite a turn to find out, but make sure you're prepared for the worst!"

"What are you talking about? What is this thing?"

The Cheshire cat ignored him as he laughed. "Does it play the past or the present? Does it play anything at all? What if it's an illusion? Aren't we all simply…_illusions?"_ He asked, slowly disappearing.

"Wait!" Roxas exclaimed, "What does it do?"

The Cheshire cat chuckled. "Why don't you ask it!" He disappeared, laughing gaily.

Roxas cried out as he sat alone in the forest. "Why doesn't that damned cat ever make sense!" He stared at the blue orb, puzzled. _Wait a minute…_ he said, examining a facet closer. _That looks like…what happened this morning? Does this replay memories?_ He looked up at the shaded sky, noticing how late it was.

He pocketed the object, standing up. "I better get back…"

------((fast forward!))-----

Roxas relaxed on the floor against Axel, who was lying against his bed, quietly watching television as the two digested dinner. They chatted softly, only half paying attention to the television.

Roxas suddenly remembered the strange object. "Hey Axel, I found something strange today in Wonderland…"

Axel snorted. "What would be strange is if you found something _normal_ in Wonderland…What is it?"

Roxas shifted, pulling the strange object out of his pocket. "I think it might play back memories…" he said slowly.

Axel's eyes widened. "Roxas. Give that to me."

Roxas looked at him, puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Give it to me."

"Why?"

"Because it's dangerous!"

Roxas looked at him incredulously. "How is seeing _memories_ dangerous?"

Axel paused. "It just…is!"

Roxas wrung his hands around the ball angrily, turning. "Axel…I just want to know what's wrong with you!"

"Roxas _no!"_

A bright filled the room, and in a blink, Axel, Roxas, and the ball disappeared, leaving an empty room in their wake.

----------------

Roxas blinked as they stood outside the castle in the World that Never Was, watching themselves near Axel. "What is this…?"

"_No one would miss me," _the Past!Roxas said, walking determinedly away from the Past!Axel.

"_That's not true," _Axel muttered dejectedly, "_I would."_

"Hey, I don't remember that…Are these your memories, Axel?" Axel said nothing as the scene changed to Axel, alone in his room, angrily going through his dresser.

"_Goddammit!" _he cried angrily, throwing the contents on the top of his dresser to the floor. "_Fucking idiot…_" He angrily stormed over to his bed, hearing a crunching noise beneath his feet. He froze, stooping down to pick up the one picture of him and Roxas together in Twilight Town, smashed under the broken glass.

"_Dammit!"_ he swore again, collapsing on his bed and clutching his pillow. "_Fucking Roxas…You just had to leave didn't you?" _Axel cried out to his empty room, "_didn't think how _I'd_ feel about it! No sir! Fine! Stay there for all I care!"_

Roxas heard a muffled cry of anguish as the scene changed abruptly to Axel in his room again, this time tossing and turning in bed as he tried to sleep.

"_Mmmf…Roxy…stop, that tickles…" _He rolled over, grinning as he fell to the ground, starting himself awake.

He sat up, sighing. "_Roxas…"_

The scene changed again, and as Roxas watched the scenes unfold in Twilight Town, his memory slowly came back to him about the events that transpired just before he woke up Sora and returned to the Organization.

Suddenly, the scene blinked and they were back in front of Axel's bed as if nothing happened. Roxas slowly put down the ball and looked up at Axel.

"…What just happened?"

Axel sighed. "You turned the ball and told it what you wanted. _That's_ what's been bugging me recently," he explained, gesturing into the open air to mean his memories that they just viewed.

Roxas' eyes softened. "Axel…"

"You don't have to say anything. You were right to want to find out more about yourself."

"But I really didn't talk to you about it…"

"It's alright, you shouldn't have to."

"But I still _should_ have!" Roxas suddenly cried out, his hands fisting on the floor. "You were important to me then too, I should have _bothered_ to at least _ask-"_

"Its _fine,_ Roxas, stop freaking out-"

"But you _missed_ me!" Roxas continued, "And you didn't even say anything when I got back! I walked in the door, and you glanced up for maybe _five_ seconds from the television, said '_Hey,'_ and that was it! I sat down next to you and continued on as if nothing happened! Why didn't you _say_ anything if it was bugging you this much?"

Axel flinched at Roxas' truthful words. "…Because I didn't want to hurt you. You left because you wanted to, and it's my job to deal with my own feelings."

Roxas hit him in the shoulder. "You're supposed to _communicate_, here, it's what we do! When I'm sad, I tell you-"

"I'll usually figure it out first-"

"Well I wasn't _here_ to figure you out!" Roxas yelled.

Axel hugged Roxas to him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I missed you," he whispered into Roxas' ear, "I'll be sure to tell you that I need you here with me more often."

Roxas gasped softly. "Really?"

"Of course," Axel grinned. "Couldn't you _tell_ from my memories? I was pretty broken up."

Roxas turned slightly, reaching for the back of Axel's head. "Come here you," Roxas said, pulling Axel down to his level. "I'll show you how much I missed you…" he said deviously, kissing Axel fiercely.

---------------

Well. _That_ was insane. And there's probably _SOMETHING_ fundamentally wrong with it somewhere, but I don't feel like checking it. Ima tired.

Night lovelies! R AND R!

freaky-hanyou


	57. Blindness: Soriku

OMGSNOWDAY. ::dances around:: It was funny, we were all expecting one at school yesterday. And I was trying _not_ to because it always happens that when you expect it it never happens. BUT IT DID! YAY!

Eee. AND THIS What if has some truth to it…._Some._ You'll see what I mean. But its not _completely. _And I can see ALL of you reading this like say what. So you'll just read. XD

K quick now. TK::feigns innocence:: Me? Stalling? Whatever gave you that idea? (has only been stalling for the past 2 days)) hah no seriously I've been working like crazy. XD Aw. That's why I try reeeally hard to be careful. What was a shout out thing!

Sora; Awww you poor thing. Go sleep and take Tylenol. (hates sickness) 8D

SEEEEEEEEEE TK! I'm NOT WRITING A BOOK. ON TO THE STORY! XD

….One more thing. XD OMG SO when i get bored I read my stories. XD AND I NOTICED! LOOK AT THIS.

Chapter 16, Lessons:_ "Demyx looked like Zexion just took his puppy and threw it into a wood chipper. 'Why not?'"_

Chapter 37, Mistletoe:_ "Axel continued to stare. 'But…Twilight Town will be all decorated for Christmas!' He looked as if someone has drowned both of his puppies and then threw them into a wood chipper."_

Yeah. Wthell by me. Alright, I'm writing I'm writing!

**What If…**

_Sora went temporarily blind, and Riku felt guilty_

_because he was the cause?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

"Riku?" Sora asked as he walked into Riku's seemingly empty apartment. "Riku? I know you're here…You just called!" Sora walked throughout the living room and the kitchen, finding nothing but quiet.

He grinned deviously as he slowly down the hall. "Hmmm…I _wonder_ where he could be!" he called loudly, aiming his voice at Riku's room. "I wonder if he's in here…"

Sora slowly opened the door to Riku's room, stepping inside. His eyes glazed over in surprise as he glanced over at the bed, staring openly.

Riku grinned deviously as he lounged nearly-naked on his blue silk-covered bed, head propped up by his hand, his hips only half-covered with a piece of the sheet. He smirked, moving to make a big show of stretching out on the bed, his abdomen flexing temptingly.

"Hey Sora," he said as casually as if they were talking about the weather, "See something that…_interests_ you?" He winked at Sora, mocking him.

Sora blinked. "I…I can't see anything…."

Riku grinned. "That's the point of the sheet Sora," he said gesturing at his hips, "It prevents you from seeing anything…_yet._ It promotes mystery."

Sora blinked again and again. "No, seriously! I can't see _anything!_"

"What?" Riku said, getting off the bed and moving closer to Sora. He waved his hand right in front of Sora's eyes and got no reaction. "Did you see that?"

Sora jumped. "When did you get so close?"

Riku swore. "Hold on a second," he said, pulling on a pair of pants, "We're going to the hospital."

-----((couldn't stop laughing as I wrote that XD))----

"Well…" Dr. Vexen said as he walked into the room, looking pointedly at Riku as he held Sora's hand. "The damage doesn't seem that severe."

"What happened?" Riku asked.

"Usually when someone sees something racy or gory, they might become temporarily blind to their surroundings for less than a second," the doctor explained. "However, when Sora walked in on your…_escapade,_ something overlapped in the vision sector Sora's brain, lengthening the effect on his sight. He should be able to see by tomorrow morning." The doctor turned to leave the room.

"Wait!" Riku said. "That's it?"

Dr Vexen nodded. "I suggest you don't try that again." He walked out the door, leaving Sora and Riku in silence.

"Hey!" Sora called after the doctor, not realizing that he had left. When he got no reply, he sighed. "Riku…" Sora said, reaching out for Riku's other hand. He may have been temporarily blind, but he wasn't deaf.

Riku squeezed Sora's hand, standing up. "Come on," he said with false cheer in his voice, "let's go home."

-------((aw poor Riku getting hated on))-----

The car ride back to the apartment was quiet and uncomfortable in Sora' opinion. _I feel like a baby,_ he thought, as he waited for Riku to come to his side of the car and guide him to the apartment.

"This sucks," he said, following Riku up the stairs.

Riku let go of Sora's hand as he unlocked the door. "It will be gone in the morning," he said matter-of-factly as he walked inside.

"But that's tomorrow," Sora continued sourly as he followed Riku's voice. Unfortunately, Sora judged wrong, and he ran smack into the wall next to Riku's door. "_Fuck."_

Riku turned around, mentally smacking himself in the forehead as he rushed outside to guide Sora in. "Sorry Sora, I wasn't paying attention…"

"That's alright." Sora said, holding his nose. Riku guided him to the couch and examined Sora's face.

"Your nose is bleeding a little…" Riku went quietly into the kitchen to get some ice and some tissues. Upon returning, he handed them over to Sora, sitting down next to him.

"I'm sorry Sora…I really shouldn't have done that."

Sora laughed, smiling. "Oh come on. How many times am I going to go _blind_ whenever I walk in the room to find a naked Riku? This is a once in a lifetime thing." He groped for Riku's leg, trying to reassuringly place his hand on it. Riku grabbed his hand, holding on to it.

"But still, the doctor thought we were _insane-"_

"That doctor was an asshole," Sora said seriously, making Riku lock eyes with Sora. "…Am I looking at you?"

Laughing quietly, Riku nodded. A moment of silence passed as Sora waited for a reply. "Oh! Yes, you are," Riku replied, laughing inwardly at his stupidity.

"Anyway, I'm being serious here. Don't let that doctor's ethics get in the way of your spontaneity. It's one of the things that makes you, you!" He pulled Riku closer, aiming to kiss him. "Besides," he said, grinning, "what a way to lose your senses, right?"

Riku smirked as he pulled Sora in for a kiss. Sora groaned as Riku wrapped his arms around him, lifting him up to carry him to their bedroom. As Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's shoulders, he got an idea. "Hey Riku…" he whispered against Riku's lips.

"Hmmm?" Riku said contentedly as he entered the bedroom, sitting Sora down on the bed.

"Go get a tie from your closet." Riku raised an eyebrow questioningly, but complied, returning to the bed with a black and blue striped tie. He sat down next to Sora.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Wrap it around your eyes."

"But then we _both_ wouldn't be able to see!" he protested, "What if something happens-"

"Then we'll go see Dr. Vexen again and tell him that what we were doing…" Sora whispered, cupping Riku's cheek in his hand. "And we'll be sure to give him accurate details…"

Riku's breath hitched as he slowly wrapped the tie around his eyes. "There, I-I can't see anymore…" he whispered as Sora pulled him down on the bed.

"Good…That makes two of us then." Sora grinned as he covered Riku with his body, bringing his lips down for another kiss.

--------------

Yeah, not sure how I feel about that one. I tried to make it more light-hearted, but it kinda fell in the middle. And Sora's really serious too. Ah well! I think its good.

Now as for what I said before, it is _true_ that you won't notice something in your surroundings if something happens the same _instant_ something racy or gory appears in your vision. XD The rest is allllll fictional. 8D

AND I've thought of something fun and new! It's called Name That Chapter! I shall give a quote, and in your review you can guess which story its from! Could be fun. XD

Start with an easy one.

"_PENIS! Sora, a fucking PENIS!"_

Heee! I might update after work. LOVE MY LOVELIES!

freaky-hanyou


	58. The Coma: AkuRoku

::skips around:: HERE WE GO NUMBER TWO. XD This one's sad. Boo.

SO I think I might write one of my own ideas to make me happy afterward. XD

AND I totally forgot before the last one, that dear Thnks fr the mmrs (nice name XD) wanted some story pimpage! Some good chapter ones I know of are Carmine Complex (amazing.), Surgeon General's Warning, How I Met Your Mother…Um. There's more. oo um crap whats it called ::looks at her alerts:: My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada, Protecting Me (THAT'S what its called I knew it started with P. XD) and Thirty Dates. To name a few. Some that are complete are Ten Hugs. Wow I don't have that many on my story alerts. I used to have like 800…that must be author alerts. Hope you enjoy! XD

Alright anyway. On with the show my friends!

Oh hey, right after i finished the earlier one, i checked to see if my book was in and it WAS and the library closed in TEN minutes. And i got it. In my pajamas. XD

OH and Axel as a girl. During English class I was _struck_ with inspiration. I almost burst out laughing. And it was like. Utter silence. So be excited for it! (Its 4 away from this one XD)

**What If…**

_Roxas got a concussion, and fell into a coma, and could_

_remember everything Axel said to him_

_while he was unconscious?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

"Roxas duck!" Axel cried out as he fought the slew of Heartless on the rooftops of Agrabah. Roxas ducked quickly, turning and slicing the offending enemy behind him. Axel sighed in relief. "Jeez Roxas, you have to pay more attention!"

"Sorry," Roxas said, yawning loudly. "I'm just…really tired from last night. And I can't survive by coffee and energy drinks like you can," he said, slicing through Heartless after Heartless mechanically.

Axel looked back at Roxas sheepishly. "I'm sorry," he said slowly as he continued to fight, "I wouldn't have kept you up so late if I'd known we'd have such a vigorous mission toda-_Look out!"_

Axel watched in horror as a Soldier's weapon made perfect connection with the back of Roxas' head. Roxas recoiled, falling forward as the Soldier moved in for a killing blow. Axel cried out, throwing a chakram at the Soldier, killing it instantly. Axel fought his way over to Roxas, helping him get up.

"Are you alright Roxas?" he said, shaking him slightly as he held back the Heartless throng.

Roxas shook himself, nodding. "I'm okay…my head is starting to _kill_ though…"

Axel sighed in relief, "Good, you had me worried for a second. But it takes a lot more than a smack to the head to take you out, right? Roxas?" Axel looked back to where Roxas was standing a moment before. He wasn't there. Axel turned around completely, sending out walls of fire behind him to cover himself.

"_Roxas!"_ Axel looked down at the ground level of Agrabah, seeing a black and blonde heap at the bottom. "Shit," Axel murmured, ignoring the Heartless completely as he jumped down to the ground, shaking Roxas. "Roxas? Get up!"

He didn't move. Axel swore, scooping him up into his arms. He held him close as he used one hand to send long distance shots at the Heartless before him. "Hang on Roxas…"

-----((oh boy))-----

Axel sat pacing outside the Hospital Wing, waiting for the Superior to come out so he could go in. _This is all my fault,_ he thought, hitting himself in the forehead and shaking his head, _Just let him be okay. _

Axel's eyes shot to the door as it opened. The Superior stepped out, face blank. Axel stood across from him, masking his panic as he asked quietly, "How is he?"

"He is in a coma," The Superior said matter-of-factly. Axel braced himself against the opposite wall as the Superior continued, "maybe next time he'll get enough sleep so he could fight efficiently," he began to walk away. He stopped, turning. "_If_ there's a next time, that is."

Axel's glare bore into the Superior's back as he walked away and turned the corner. The moment he was gone, Axel flew into the Hospital Wing to the bed in the far corner where Roxas lay ina white hospital gown, motionless.

_He looks like he's sleeping,_ Axel thought sadly as he pulled up a chair next to the bed. He hesitantly took Roxas' hand, squeezing it with his. "…Roxas?"

When he got no reaction, he sighed and continued. "White is _so_ not your color," he said chuckling. He sobered quickly, chilled by Roxas' lack of reaction. "I know you probably can't hear me…" he started, "but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Roxas, if I knew…" he broke off, taking deep breaths.

"I won't do anything that could hurt you like this ever again, I swear. Just come back to me." He sat with Roxas for a while, before placing a kiss on his forehead, slowly going to the cafeteria for dinner.

-----------((aw.))--------

As the weeks went by, Axel slowly fell into a new routine. Wake up, go see Roxas, eat, go on a mission, go see Roxas, dinner, Roxas, sleep. He barely spoke and didn't even _think_ of pranking anyone anymore. Demyx looked on worriedly as Axel stood up from the dinner table, off to see Roxas again. He sighed, getting up to follow him.

"Hey Axel?" he said, catching up to him in the hallway. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Axel said casually, "Why?"

"Nothing, its just that you've seemed to have lost your spark lately…"

Axel's smile was pained. "I have," he said softly, picking up his pace towards the Hospital Wing.

"Listen Axel," Demyx continued, "He might not come back-"

"He _will!"_ Axel said, nearly shouting at Demyx. He stopped walking and turned to face him. "He will," he said quietly, turning to walk away. Demyx put a hand on his shoulder.

"You can always talk to me," he said comfortingly before walking away.

Axel sighed deeply as he walked into the Hospital Wing. _Demyx…I know you're just trying to be a good friend, but this is something you can't fix…_ He sat down next to Roxas' bed, smiling softly.

"Hey Rox," he said, holding his hand. "I miss you…" He sat there in silence, trying to think of something to talk about that he hadn't already said to him.

"I went to Twilight Town today," he started, "The mission was really boring. No Heartless or anything. I bought a sea salt ice cream for you though, although I ate it because I didn't want it to go to waste, but I did buy it with you in mind-"

"So why didn't you bring it back for me, asshole?" was the weak reply.

"Well you wouldn't be able to _eat_ it-Holy shit," Axel said, looking at the conscious Roxas. "Roxy!" he said, hugging him tightly. "You came back!"

Roxas smiled weakly. "Of course I did. You're obviously nothing without me…" Axel glared at him half-heartedly. "I heard everything you said to me…you came to visit pretty often. Have you no life?"

Axel blinked, blushing slightly. "You heard me?" _I must have sounded like a sniveling idiot to him…_

"Every word," Roxas continued. "You apologized a lot. Have you been beating yourself up all this time? …How long has it been anyway?"

"A month," Axel said quietly. "I'm sorry Rox-"

"Didn't I _just_ say something about how much you have been apologizing?" Roxas said, glaring at him. "I knew my own limits, I shouldn't have gone on that mission."

"But it's still _my_ fault-" Axel said, voice cracking as he held Roxas closer.

"It's okay, Axel, I'm here now," Roxas said soothing as he held onto Axel tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Axel nodded. "I won't do anything that stupid anymore, I promise!"

------((::fast forward:: ))----

One week later, Roxas was able to leave the Hospital Wing and move freely about the castle. He walked with Axel down to his room after dinner, chatting merrily.

"Say Rox, what are we doing?" Axel said as they walked into his bedroom.

"This," Roxas said deviously, pressing Axel into his closed door and pulling Axel's head down to him, kissing him roughly. Roxas quickly took control as he ran his hands down Axel's chest, making up for his weeks in the Hospital Wing.

"I missed you too," Roxas muttered against Axel's lips, reaching to unzip Axel's cloak. Axel slowly regained his senses, reaching for Roxas' shoulders to hold him arms length from him.

"We have a mission tomorrow," he said slowly, staring at Roxas with want in his eyes. "We can't do this."

"And why the hell not?" Roxas asked, irritated.

"Because you have to be awake in the morning!" Axel said, pulling Roxas to the bed. "Come on, let's go to sleep so we'll be ready for tomorrow's mission."

Roxas sighed loudly, but didn't complain as he snuggled with Axel in his bed.

-----------------

The next day, Axel and Roxas returned from their mission in Twilight Town late that night, heading up to Axel's room. "I could have slept through that," Roxas said darkly as he shut the door to the bedroom.

Axel winced. "Well, you never know!" He looked at his clock as Roxas started to come towards him with the 'its-time-to-have-the-best-sex-in-the-world-and-wake-up-half-the-castle-doing-it' look in his eyes. "Oh look at the time!" Axel said, casually pulling Roxas to bed after they took off their cloaks and got ready for bed. "We need a good night's rest for tomorrow!"

Roxas groaned aloud. "_Axel…"_

Axel feigned sleep. Roxas rolled his eyes, snuggling up to him yet again.

--------((Poor sexually frustrated Roxas))---------

The next day Axel and Roxas returned from the _exact_ same mission at the exact same time. Roxas shut the door into his bedroom quietly, glaring at Axel.

"Hey Axel…."

Axel laughed uncomfortably. "Well, Rox, I guess we should go to sleep-"

"For the love of _god_ Axel, I'm not made of glass!" Roxas shouted, pushing Axel down onto the bed, straddling him. "Don't you want me anymore…?" He asked softly, looking away.

Axel looked at him quizzically. "Of course I do!" He cupped Roxas' chin, forcing him to look at him. "I just don't want to see you hurt…"

"I know my limits," Roxas stated, trying to reassure Axel that yes, he was a big boy and could handle himself. "Now can we _please_ do it already?"

Axel looked at him warily. "I don't know…"

Roxas gave him the puppy-dog pout. "_Please?"_

Axel grinned devilishly. "You know, it's nice to have you beg for it once and a while…"

Roxas laughed, pressing himself closer to Axel. "There's the Axel I know…" he whispered, covering Axel's lips with his.

------------------------------

There. I like that one. I was going to have them not have 'wandered off the straight path' as Zesty would say, BUT then I wouldn't have a sexually frustrated Roxas. XD

…Holy mother of the lord, I got _six_ reviews while I wrote that! Sweet damn people! Ooo! Seven!

Hyper Kid! You rock. XD I have Aqua, Phantom of the Opera, AND Chinese techno on my mp3. XD OMG POCKY. LOOOOOVE. I want at least two tattoos as well. XD

haha holy _dude_ that middle what if is SO for older kids. XD And what _exactly_ is this complex? I've probably had it. 8D

Heeehee! ALRIGHT NAME THAT CHAPTER! (from THIS story so you know)

I think this is an easy one: _"What. Happened. Zexion." Demyx ground out, eyeing the giant hole in his wall between his room and the hallway."_

"_Well, it involves a quarter, three sitar strings, and a stapler…"_

R AND R MY DARLINGS!

freaky-hanyou


	59. The Sickness: Soriku

K so many things to talk about my lovelies! FIRST OMG I WAS REREADING chapter 50 AND LOOK AT THIS:

"_Both of them looked as if their favorite puppy had just committed suicide."_

WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND PUPPIES. AND WOODCHIPPERS FOR THAT MATTER. NO MORE PUPPIES. XD

And. Weekcrazy. Listen to this. Today! Service and work. Tomorrow! Work, SuperBowl (GO GIANTS), giant physics lab. Monday! Service. Tuesday! Tech crew! Wednesday! Service! Thursday and Friday! Work! Saturday! Show Choir competition! xD FUN RIGHT::twitching::

And finally! hahah Dear OnlyinthisLight. "Be a good uke and beg." Oh man. Hahah, Roxas begging seems to be a hit here. But don't worry Uppiguppi, there will be seme Roxas. XD Every 13th of every month! This month will be difficult, but I promise itll happen. XD How many What Ifs do I have? Enough to put this story in the 200s easy. Do I ever get tired/annoyed at them? Of course. Whenever I find a particularly difficult/ridiculously silly one, I think_ Goddammit can't I just Skip it._ But no. We don't weed out What Ifs. XD We figure it out. Shit happens what can I say. ahaha you people are giving me more amd more M ones. XD

Plain Jane, there _do_ seem to be many a hospital lately. Odd indeed ne? AND Kiki, you're review made me lol. XD

And don't worry folk! I don't kill people. Unless warnings are plastered all over like neon signs, such as in _Illusions Don't Last._ But that's a raaaaaaaaaare thing. Cuz it pisses _me_ off when characters get killed, so why wouldn't it piss off you? XD

…Alright alright I relent! When I get to the original reviews from chapter 33: Sugar, which was the Name that Chapter, where you folk first inquired about the "quarter, three sitar strings, and a stapler", and will write a What If short as to how this all came about. XP

AND DO YOU KNOW MUCH I LOVE IT WHEN NEW PEOPLE REVIEW::frolics::

…Ok I'm going I'm going. …You know, I'm really tired, I cant do this. ::apologizes::

K that was yesterday. OMG OMG OMG JUSTICE MY FRIENDS!! THE AMAZING LAST 3 MINUTES!!!!! THE PATRIOTS HAVE RECEIVED THEIR COME UPPANCE::runs around flailing:: AND THAT CATCH OMG. OMG I AM SO AKLSDJFKLSJFKLJS! Eeee.

AND ZESTY YOU POOR GIRL. He must not have been much of a bf if he'll dump you on his friends word. Wtbusiness happened? (_I HATE_ stuffy noses girl. Especially going to sleep.)

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO.

**What If…**

_Sora was sick and hyper at the same time,_

_and Riku had to watch him?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Plain Jane is a Vampire))_

"_RikuRikuRikuRikuRiku!_" Sora squealed as he tackled Riku into the door the moment he entered Sora's house. "_GuesswhatIhadforbreakfast?!"_

"What?" Riku asked, mildly surprised at being pinned to a door so quickly.

"_Sugarcakes!!"_

Riku looked down at Sora, mildly amused. "May I ask what a sugar cake is?"

"WELLLLLLL," Sora said, taking a deep breath, "it's pancakes with a _special_ ingredient!"

"Which is…"

"_Pixie Stix!"_

Riku groaned. "How many?"

"Only 4…" Riku sighed with relief as Sora grinned. "Of the foot long ones, that is!"

Riku banged his head against the door. _"Sora…_"

Sora smiled innocently, giving Riku the 'You-know-you're-going-to-have-fun-with-this' look.

Riku grinned. "You're crazy, did you know that?"

Sora laughed as he ran away from Riku, past the window to the front yard. He stopped dead in his tracks, pointing. "Riku! _It's snowing!"_

Before Riku could get out a word, Sora was out the door and in a fresh snowpile, barefoot and wearing nothing but a T-shirt and pajama pants. Riku sighed as he followed Sora out the door, intending to catch him and drag him back inside to dress properly.

"Sora, how about you put on some boots-Sora? Why are you looking at me like that?" Sora had stood up from his snow angel, and was currently looking at Riku dangerously, silently conveying that he would prefer Riku's clothes be in a snow pile somewhere.

Riku slowly backed away towards the side of the house. "Sora, it's _freezing_ out here-"

"So let me warm you up…" Sora murmured as he closed in on Riku, pushing him up against a convenient tree. He smirked as he put his arms on either side of Riku's head, kissing him hard on the mouth. Riku gasped at Sora's forwardness as he forced his tongue into Riku's mouth, slowly sliding a hand up his shirt. Sora pulled back for a moment, grinning as he licked his lips.

"See? I'm getting hotter already…" he pulled off his T-shirt before returning to Riku's neck, kissing his pulse point softly. Riku inhaled sharply, focusing more on Sora's wandering hands, as his mind moved in and out of rational thought.

_Mmmm…Sora…it's freezing…Shit…it's so cold…_ Riku shook himself, distancing himself from Sora. "Sora! We have go inside," he said decisively, picking up Sora's shirt and grabbing him by the arm.

"But why?" Sora whined as he was lead in the house.

"Because it's cold! You'll get the sniffles, and then you could get a fever," Riku said warningly.

"Psh, I'm not going to get s-…sic-Achoo!" Sora sneezed. Riku raised an eyebrow as he put a hand to Sora's forehead.

"Way to go," Riku said sarcastically, "Somehow, sugar has made you get sick quicker than any normal human being."

"But I'm not si-_Achoo!"_ Sora swore as the recoil from his sneeze propelled him backwards a few inches. "But Riku-"

"No buts! To bed, Oh Hyper One!" Riku dragged the protesting Sora up the stairs to his bedroom, throwing him in his bed and shutting the door, intending to go make Sora some warm soup.

----((teeheee PATRIOTS LOST XD ::inrubbing:: ))-----

Riku steeled his senses as he slowly walked up the stairs with a tray of warm vegetable soup._There's a 98.4 chance that he isn't in bed…_ He prepared himself for flying objects as he peeked his head in the door.

"Sora?" He looked over at the bed. _Of course he isn't there…_Riku said, eyeing the bed closer in the darkened room. _Then again…none of the blankets and pillows are there either…_ Riku looked around, noticing a little blanket and pillow mound where Sora's desk usually was. Riku shook his head as he heard a sneeze from under the blanket.

"Sora! I said in _bed!_ How does that transfer to making an army fort?" Riku said scoldingly, putting the soup down on the nightstand as he moved to the small fort.

Sora pouted from under the desk as Riku took down his fort, setting up the bed again. "But Riku, I was bored!"

"You're supposed to be _resting!"_

"I don't wanna!" Sora crossed his arms and legs in frustration.

"Sora…." Riku said, sighing. "Come to bed."

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"…I'll give you a cookie."

"'Kay!" Sora said, getting up and jumping into bed. Riku rolled his eyes and propped pillows up around him, setting the tray over his lap with the soup.

"You get a cookie after you rest and finish your soup," Riku declared, satisfied that Sora was finally listening to him.

Sora glared at him. "You tricked me."

"I did no such thing," Riku said, sitting on the bed next to Sora, "I said you'd get a cookie, I just didn't say _when._ Now eat!"

Sora continued glaring at Riku as he slowly ate the soup. "See if you get any sex this month," he muttered darkly.

Riku looked wounded. "Hey! I'm just looking out for your well-being!"

"Someone who's looking out for my well-being would give me a cookie!"

Riku sighed inwardly. _I feel like I'm baby-sitting…_ "Sora, you can't _blackmail_ me into giving you a-"

Sora raised an eyebrow, giving him the 'You-don't-think-I-could-go-a-month-without-it?-Cuz-you-sure-as-hell-can't' look. Riku's lip quivered slightly.

"_Fine, _I'll go get the damned cookie," Riku said, picking up the empty soup bowl and going downstairs to get a cookie, "but you're resting right after!"

Sora giggled.

-----(( ::still rubbing it in:: )))-------

"Sora."

"Riku?"

"You ate that stupid cookie an _hour_ ago, why won't you _rest!"_

"I'm not tired!" Sora shrugged as he snuggled with Riku on his bed. "Let's do something else," he said, winking.

Riku held him still. "One minute you're holding out, the next minute you're giving it away…" Riku muttered. "You need to rest!"

"Nu-uh!"

Riku growled. "What will it take to get you to fall asleep?"

Sora gave him a conspiratorial look and whispered something in his ear. Riku's eyes widened as he blushed. "…I don't think I could bend that way Sora…I don't think that's even _legal…"_

Sora snapped his fingers and whispered something else in Riku's ear. "Sora…" Riku said warningly. "You are _not_ getting another cookie."

Sora pouted. "Please?"

"Nope."

"Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"Pl-"

"Sora, you are not getting another cookie and that's final."

Sora turned away from Riku, pouting silently. Riku sighed, absently stroking his arm, trying to calm him down. "What am I ever going to do with you, Sora…"

Sora turned around again, smiling. "Give me a cookie?"

"Sora!"

"Fine, fine! I'll try and sleep."

"Thank _god,"_ Riku said, holding him closer.

-------((2 minutes later))-------

"Riku?"

"Now what?" Riku said warily.

"I can't sleep."

"Of course you can't," Riku said knowingly. "Am I going to have to _sing_ or something_?"_

Sora looked at Riku as if he had just solved pie. "Oooh! Please?"

"Sora, I was kidding."

"Please? I promise I'll sleep if you sing to me," Sora said, pouting cutely.

Riku was torn. "But…I can't sing…"

"Sure you can! I've heard you sing before, you're fine. Please?"

"_Fine,_ dammit," Riku said, clearing his throat.

"_I'll sing you a song of times not forgotten, far away dreams and castaway skies, I'll sing you to sleep top of candy land mountain with echoes of life in your eyes," _

Riku looked determinedly away from Sora as he continued, "_Sweet lullabies of times in our life, of holding you cheek with mine, Rocking and dancing to the beat of life, forever locked in time, look in my heart can you see how I mess you of wanting you, by my side, I'll capture my memory of your love within me with this special lullaby."_

Sora was perfectly quiet as Riku finished singing, blushing slightly and still looking away. "Riku…I've never heard you sing that before…"

"That's because I haven't…My mother used to sing it to me…"

Sora smiled softly and pulled Riku's chin so he would look at him. "That was perfect," he whispered, kissing him softly.

"Thanks."

"Night, Riku."

"Goodnight Sora."

---------------------------------

Alright children serious moment here. That song. Is an actual song. And my family actually owns it, copyright JMK Productions, take it without permission and you are killed. I had no intention of using that, but I just couldn't figure out an END. So yeah, my mom would sing that to me, so…if she finds out I used it she'll probably kill me cuz I posted it online without permission or something, I dunno, don't steal it. XD Cuz its all copyrighted and legal.

::squees:: Wow, I didn't mean that to be so serious. I have no idea when I'm updating next my darlings! Love to all!

You better review.

OO! Name that chapter!

Here's a harder one:_"THERE IS MERRIMENT AFOOT IN HERE! COME ROXAS, WE MUST EXPLORE!"_

freaky-hanyou


	60. Abroad: AkuRoku

Ugh, business. Ok so. Here is my epic tale of crazy: SO I wanted to try to figure out a way to like, give you folk the melody of the lullaby in the previous chapter if you wanted to hear it. But, the cd its on has crazy harmonies and like repeats and business and I'm like yeah don't want to put that up there. SO I sang it myself, (WHILE DRIVING XD) and put it online. BUT it sounded really crappy, so I rerecorded it through the computer mic this time instead of my mp3 and it sounded better, _but_ it was a wma and I hate wmas so I tried to make it a wav and it wasn't flipping working and I still can't figure why.

SO I used this random upload site and now it's a download which isn't what I wanted so. IF you want to hear the melody, you can either:

A. Go to my old blog here: w w w . geocities. com /freaky5907 //christmas .html and scroll ALL the way down and click Special Lullabye. It comes up as a quicktime in the browser (which is what I wanted) but it sounds like crap.

OR B. go to. www. megafileupload .com /en/ file/ 44099/ TheSong-wav .html AND THEN it will be good quality, but you have to download the thing.

OR you could just ignore all that and be like whatever you crazy. And the A has car noises in the background for part, and in both my voice sounds like shite. XP

Alright I gotta get in an emo mode here for this one. I can do it! …It's not working. jsdfkljdslBEFORE I FORGET I FORGOT A STORY OF AMAZING YOU ALL SHOULD READ. It's called Tease. AND its complete, which is why I forgot about it. XD

ANDOMG ONEMOREPARADISE ::flying tackle:: HI!! hahah Kool-Aid man hits a brick wall. Oh man. AMAZINGGIRL!

Kiki I am a shameless cat person too. XD MANIACYOUDONTSUCKATREVIEWS! Eeee Sora. Giants beat down the Patriots. And I got to gloat to the Bostonians at school. All is good.

Aw Zesty you poor thing. That doesn't sound like a good friend. (that's a sweet name!) And let me tell you. Shitty as it is, if he wanted to stay he would have just ignored your friend, but it seems like he already had this other girl in mind and was looking for an excuse…doesn't make it stop sucking, but still. It's nothing you did, he's just a dickhead. Needless to say, I hate Mondays as well. The songs called Special Lullabye (up there::points up:: ) Dude I would melt into a puddle of goo if Riku sang.

I wrote that last Tuesday. It is now Saturday. THISWEEKHASBEENSOHORRIBLE::cries:: I am an exhausted puddle of mush. TT like that! Ugh, so much business. If I don't have service I have work if I don't have either I have tech crew or a show choir competition, WHICH today we did beyond suck. Like. Suckity suck. And this hectic aint letting up until like. March. Mid march. SO sparse updates. ::sadness::

Sparse meaning like how they are now, that is. XD MAKING IT QUICK OMG ONEMOREPARADISE UPDATION::faintage:: AND OMGOODNESS THOUGHTLESS DREAMER! I LURVE YOUR STORIES!! Girl, when I saw your review I was like I _know_ this name is familiar…AND IT TOTALLY WAS OMYGOSHGIRL.

::waves to AquaFlame::

You people spoil me. Alright! Finally, right? And yeah, this one is kinda just Axel and random dude until the end. Beware!

**What If…**

_Roxas had to leave, and Axel sees him two years later?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

"I mean, what _is_ it with Demyx these days?" Axel said, conversing with Roxas as they entered his room. He sat down on his bed as he continued, "I haven't seen him in centuries! He's all 'Zexy this' and 'Zexy that'… I don't even think he's came out of his room-"

"Axel," Roxas said wearily, trying to interrupt.

"I mean he's only going on a _mission_ for pete's sake-"

"Axel."

"He's going to be coming back _eventually_-"

"AXEL!"

Axel was silenced, looking at Roxas in question. "Yes?"

"I'm going with him."

Axel blinked, giving him a look of surprise. "You're…what?"

"I'm going with him," Roxas clarified, "he needs a partner, and I volunteered."

"You…_volunteered? _Roxas, this mission is-"

"I know, two years of dedicated research. But hey, you just said that I'll be coming back eventually right?"

Axel pulled Roxas close to him, hugging him tightly. "But with you, Rox, it's totally different…"

Roxas sighed deeply, hugging Axel tightly.

"Two years…" Axel muttered into Roxas' neck, "think you'll be able to last that long without me?"

Roxas pulled back a little, smiling. "Will you?"

"Of course not," Axel said, winking, "but I'm pretty sure I'll manage." He put his right hand over his heart and made the Girl Scout promise sign with his other hand. "I'll take a vow of chastity until you return!"

Roxas laughed. "That's right, because _I'm-"_

"_My_ Roxy…" Axel muttered, pulling Roxas close again. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow…" Roxas muttered.

Axel flinched, but did not comment. "Well then," he said, smirking, "why don't we make the most of the time we have then? My vow doesn't come into effect until you leave…"

Roxas chuckled, hovering over Axel's lips. "Sounds like a plan to me."

------((Dun dun dunnnn))-------

Axel sat quietly alone in his bedroom. _He's gone…_ he thought, slowly taking in the silence of his bedroom. _How am I going to do this?_ He put his hands to his forehead in frustration.

"Ugh…I'm getting a headache." He smiled softly to himself. "Roxas always said that the best cure for any malady was a Sea Salt Ice Cream…"

He laughed bitterly as he stood to summon a portal.

----((poor Axel XD Don't worry, theres more trouble brewing))----

"And how many would you like sir?" The Ice Cream vendor asked as he took Axel's order.

"Two," Axel said on reflex, wincing slightly as it came out. _Oh well,_ he shrugged, _I can eat two…_ He thanked the vendor as he picked up his ice creams and sat down on a bench near the stand on the busy street of Twilight Town.

He sat there, contentedly watching the people walk by. _This isn't the same,_ he thought sadly, _this feels so…empty now. And he hasn't even been gone for a day yet…_ He didn't even flinch as a young man in baggy jeans and a T- shirt sat next to him, pulling out the comics section of the newspaper to read. _There's no way I'm going to make it _two_ years! We aren't even allowed contact! The Superior is afraid we'd 'ruin the mission…'_

Axel continued his melancholy line of thoughts as the mysterious man next to him eyed him openly. The man had shaggy black hair, sharp hazel eyes, and a kanji tattoo of the word 'love' on his neck. He smiled widely, openly staring at Axel as he began a conversation.

"You don't look like you're from around here…" the stranger commented, pulling Axel out of his reverie.

"I'm just traveling through," Axel said offhandedly, easily covering for his unusual apparel.

"Well I just moved here myself," the stranger said, sticking out his hand. "I'm Shane," he said, smiling. "I'm a bit unfamiliar with around here," he said, putting down his newspaper, "would you mind showing me the best place to get something to eat?"

Axel sighed inwardly, pretending to look at his watch. "I've got to go," he said, standing up, "but if you go down that street there you'll find the Restaurant Discrict," he pointed down the side street to his left.

"I might see you around then," said Shane, smiling as he walked away, humming a random tune.

Axel rolled his eyes. _Crazy kid…_

------------((lets fast forward a good fair amount of months shall we?))--------

Axel shivered as he stepped into the warm movie rental place, rubbing his hands together against the cold weather outside. _It's been 6 months…_ he thought, shivering. _It seems as if it was yesterday…_ He looked warily at the cashiers, who were busy with customers. _Hmmm…I guess they don't remember me from the 'Rent' incident…Good._

Axel decided that a month after Roxas left, he would take up a new hobby. Movie-watching. Unfortunately, it only took him a few months to get through every movie in the castle. So here he was, perusing random movies at the store, opting to pay for them this time so he would be allowed to come back.

He took his movie selection, _Saving Private Ryan,_ up to the counter, where lo and behold, a slightly familiar face was behind it.

"Hey!" Shane said smiling, "Remember me?"

"Vaguely." Axel replied shortly.

"The bench this summer? How have you been?"

Axel refrained from rolling his eyes. _He makes it sound like we're best friends or something…_ Axel was suddenly washed over with a wave of melancholy, missing Roxas more than usual.

Shane raised an eyebrow. "You okay? You don't look too good…"

Axel handed over some munny as he took his movie. "I'm okay, one of my friends has been gone for a long time…"

Shane nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. My wife died 3 years ago. I still miss her sometimes. Say! I don't think you ever told me your name!" Shane said, abruptly changing the mood of the conversation.

Axel looked at him oddly for a moment. _What is with this guy? One minute he think's we're bonding, then he's serious, then back to bonding! Weird…_ "I'm Axel." he said shortly, leaving the store.

"Come visit anytime!" Shane called behind him.

----((more fast forward! Don't worry, there's AkuRoku in here somewhereXD))----

Over the next few months, Axel continued to go to the Video Store, and every time he would start a new conversation with Shane. It turned out he was a pretty interesting guy. He was going to college for engineering, and loved pyrotechnics just as much as Axel did. And every visit, Shane would ask Axel to meet up with him for dinner after his shift, and Axel would turn him down.

"So how about dinner?" Shane asked for the one-hundredth time.

"Not today Shane," Axel said offhandedly. _It's a year tomorrow Roxas left…_

"How about fireworks?" Shane inquired, "there's supposed to be a Midsummer Festival tonight…"

Axel winced, remembering the fireworks display he and Roxas tampered with one festival. "No…that's okay."

"How about a walk?"

"_Fine,"_ Axel said, just to shut him up.

"Great!" Shane said, grabbing his coat, "I get off right now!"

-----------

Shane and Axel walked quietly next to each other through the park. "So…." Shane started. "How's life?"

Axel sighed. "What the hell do you think of me as?"

Shane looked hurt. "A friend. After all, I only see you _every other day," _he said dryly.

Axel smiled weakly. "I guess that could work…." Shane smiled widely as he nodded, setting his eyes back to the walk ahead. Axel followed suit. _This couldn't be that bad…_Axel reasoned, taking a sidelong glance at him, _He _is_ kind of cute…_He stared for a moment before shaking himself, bringing himself back to reason. _No! Roxas is still out there. I'm halfway there…I can do this._

--------((add some odd months))--------

"This is nice," Shane said as they lay in the grass in the park on one of their days together after Shane got off of work. "Hey Axel?"

"Hmmm?" _I hate to admit it, but this guy is growing on me…_

"Where's your 'friend'? Is he still gone?"

Axel flinched. "Yes. He'll be gone for about another year."

"Oh…where is he?"

"I…don't know," Axel admitted softly.

"That's harsh," Shane said, scooting slowly closer to Axel. "You must miss him…"

"I do." 

"But it's not like he had a choice right? You told me work took him away," Shane reasoned.

"No, he had a choice. He _volunteered."_

"Ohhh," Shane reasoned. "Are you sure he's still waiting for you, wherever he is?"

Axel looked away, lost in thought. "Aaaah, seems I've hit a nerve," Shane said, smiling slightly. He rolled over, leaning over Axel slightly. "Are you going to be okay?" he whispered, inches away from Axel.

Axel licked his lips. "I'll be fine," he whispered as Shane kissed him softly. Axel smiled, pushing back up against him. _I missed this…_ he thought as he intensified the kiss, wrapping his arms around Shane's neck. "Roxas," he murmured as he pushed harder against him. _Wait a minute. This isn't right. _

"_Two years…" Axel muttered into Roxas' neck, "think you'll be able to last that long without me?"_

_Roxas pulled back a little, smiling. "Will you?"_

"_Of course not," Axel said, winking, "but I'm pretty sure I'll manage." He put his right hand over his heart and made the Girl Scout promise sign with his other hand. "I'll take a vow of chastity until you return!"_

_Roxas laughed. "That's right, because I'm-"_

"_My Roxy…"_

"_Roxas!"_ Axel cried out, pushing Shane off of him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You didn't seem to mind," Shane said, eyes glinting.

"Get away from me you asshole, you made me break my vow of chastity."

Shane laughed. "Your what?"

Axel stood up, green eyes blazing. "Stay away from me, or you'll never be able to have children."

Axel walked away quickly and summoned a portal out of sight before he burned him to a crisp. _Bastard…I am uke for _no one_ but Roxas…dammit, what have I done?_

----------((::skips:: ))---------

The last few months Axel spent mechanically, barely speaking or coming out of his room. As the day Roxas returned drew near, Axel grew more and more nervous. _He's going to kill me…_ _And Shane…he might castrate him first. I'll gladly help there…little whore. _He smiled wryly at the thought.

…_I'm dead._

----------((alright AKUROKU finally right?))---------

After speaking with the Superior, Roxas portaled directly to Axel's room, throwing himself on him without so much as a 'hello'.

Axel made a strangled sound as he was pushed down on the bed, arms behind his head. "Roxas…?" he murmured between harsh kisses.

"Shh," Roxas whispered, "No talking. I want to have hot 'I missed you' sex before _anything_ else." He moved to cover Axel's lips again, before Axel shifted to hold him back.

"Roxas, wait. I have to tell you something first…"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "You have five seconds."

"I broke my vow of chastity," Axel said, looking away.

Roxas froze. "You…what?"

"There was this guy I met in Twilight Town named Shane, and we would walk together after he got off work…." Roxas listed avidly to Axel's tale, wincing when he said that all he did for two years was watch movies and hang out with Shane.

"…and then he kissed me, but I threw him off almost immediately…"

"Then there's no problem then," Roxas said, moving closer.

"But I kissed him back for a second," Axel admitted, holding Roxas back. "I don't know why, I just was lonely…I've been feeling so horrible for months Rox. You've gotta forgive me."

Roxas paused for a moment. "What did you do after that?"

"I threw him down and threatened his ancestry." Roxas laughed as Axel continued. "Seriously! He tried to _top_ me Rox! I am _not_ topped by _anyone-"_

"But me," Roxas said, glinting as he moved closer to Axel again. "I forgive you," he whispered against Axel's lips, bringing his hands to cover Axel's above their heads, "As long as you get punished, of course."

Axel grinned slyly. "There's my sadist Roxy I've been missing…" He smiled as Roxas kissed him deeply, lowing one hand to unzip Axel's cloak. He smirked as Axel fidgeted as Roxas ran his hand up and down Axel's chest.

Axel pulled back to breathe, smiling. "It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"

"Damn straight," Roxas said, winking.

----------------------------

Dude that took forever. I'm like, going to collapse. T-T You must review to help the poor exhausted me! XD

And yes, last quote was Spin the Bottle. Here's an easy one:

"…_And here's the marble!"_

freaky-hanyou


	61. Reincarnation: AkuRoku

WHEEEEEEE SNOW DAY TOMORROW. THIS MEANS UPDATE TODAY! YES!!!

And believe you me. This update is going to be _insane_. In. Sane.

BUT before we get into the laced with flashback crazy, we have some reviews to attend! ahahah Onlyinthislight: Roxas. You hit puberty. I died. XD OMG Onemoreparadise! You have a friend named Shane? A GAY ONE TOO. That is damned freaky. XD AHahah I wrote that line and I thought "Sora is so picking this one. XD"

KORIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAOMGGGGGG GIRL! I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN FOREVER::flying tackle:: When I finished Hanyou you totally disappeared! I thought you died. GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK! Dude you read. Screw not playing, read on Wiki. It tells all you need. XD AND if you go on kh dash vids dot net you can see all the cutscenes.

(today I put the dash in the wrong place and got a porn site, it was disturbing) BUT OH MAN GIRL. HIII!!!

DarkDeSkull, thanks for that observation. With the whole Beta's suck thing. XD I was totally going to back and change it, (I have no idea what I was thinking when I said that XD) BUT. I'll leave it for hilarity. Eee!

Zesty, you just keep infusing ideas! It's a good thing! I find that most of my reviewers will wait the months for their what if to come up before suggesting another. Both ways are all good. XD

And yeah my VTines ones might be a little off, because of the weeks crazy, AND I have a _perfect_ one shot for Feb. 13ths RokuAkuness. XD ON WITH THE SHOW! It's gonna be a doozie. And to avoid confusion, NO, these folk are NOT their Somebodies. XD

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas met in the next lifetime?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely firelid)) _

"_You're lucky. Looks like my summer vacation is…over."_

…

"_Axel? What were you trying to do?"_

"_I wanted to see Roxas. He…was the only one I liked. He made me feel…like I had a heart. It's kind of funny…you make me feel…the same."_

--------------

"Help! Help! My workshop!" A distressed woman called out as she watched her store go up in flames.

Sirens were heard as a fire truck approached the scene. A lean fireman leapt out, toting a hose behind him. "Don't worry m'am," he said reassuringly as his team quickly and efficiently controlled the fire and slowly reduced it to a quiet smolder. "Everything will be alright."

"But my business!" The distressed woman fretted.

The fireman chuckled. "I'm sure insurance will take care of it. What kind of business was it?"

"I'm a locksmith," the woman explained, "And I don't think that I have that much insurance…"

The fireman patted her head. "Don't worry, it'll be fine. Just be happy you're safe."

The woman nodded. "Thank you for doing what you could. What's your name?"

The fireman watched the smolders and, seeing that they were under control, took off his bright yellow hat and gloves. The man had spiked black hair with sharp red streaks and piercing green eyes. "I'm Alex," he said, sticking out his hand.

The woman smiled brightly. "I'm Roxanne!" She said, bubbly shaking his hand. As she shook his hand, she noticed a teardrop tattoo on the top of his hand. "That's an interesting tattoo…"

Alex agreed. "I know, right? I got them when I was a teenager…"

Suddenly, Roxanne's vision changed from the current scene to a stark white cafeteria…

---------------

"_Those are interesting tattoos under your eyes, Number VIII," Roxas said as he offhandedly began eating his bacon._

"_Call me Axel, got it memorized?" Axel said grinning, "But yeah, aren't they? My Somebody got them when he was a teenager…"_

---------------

Roxanne blinked, again focusing on the smiling fireman before her. "Sorry," she said to his questioning look. "I spaced out there for a moment…Anyway," she continued casually, "I owe you for saving my workshop...I live right behind it, my house would have been next."

Alex smiled, putting his hands out in front of him. "You owe me nothing. I was just doing my job."

"Can I at least make you dinner? Or would your wife be mad?"

Alex laughed. "I'm sure she would be if I had one. But…I'm gay, so I guess the point is rather redundant. Still want me for dinner?"

Roxanne laughed. "Of course."

Alex smiled. "I'll come by tomorrow."

Roxanne nodded. "Great! I'll see you then."

----------------------

_Axel…_Roxanne thought, toweling her long blonde hair as she tied it loosely back in a ponytail. "Where do I remember that from?" she asked herself, stepping out in front of the mirror behind the door as she wrapped a towel around her waist.

"Ugh…" she grimaced, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "You'd think that after dressing as a woman for two years would make me look more feminine…"

'Roxanne' looked over his toned physique in dismay as he heard the doorbell ring. _Shit!_ He cursed, hurriedly running into his bedroom and getting ready. In under three minutes, she was at the door, smiling as Alex walked into the entrance way, carrying a tin of cookies.

"I figured I should at least bring _something,_" he said, offering her the cookies.

"Thanks!" Roxanne said happily, happily accepting the cookies and taking them into the kitchen. "Come one! I'll give you a tour…"

"Alright…Rox," Alex said, smiling. Suddenly, his vision changed from her warmly painted kitchen to a standard-sized bedroom…

---------------

"_Roxas huh?" Axel said, laying back on his bed as Roxas sat in front of it watching the television. "I think you need a nickname."_

"_Give me one and die," Roxas said shortly._

"_Oh come on!" Axel said, smiling, "It could be fun…Roxy."_

"_No."_

"_How about Rox? It's not _too_ feminine. It's kind of manly…"_

_Roxas sighed as he changed the channel. "Fine."_

"_Yay!" Axel said, hugging him from above. "Thanks, Roxy."_

"_Shut up!"_

------------------

"Roxas…" Alex muttered quietly as Roxanne arranged the cookies on a plate. She froze in place, turning to look up at him slowly, as if she was plagued by the same thing he was.

"What did you just say?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, nothing," he said offhandedly, waving the strange occurrence away. He looked around for a change of subject. "Do you need any help with dinner?" he asked.

Roxanne smiled. "Nope! It's already set on the table," she said, leading him to her small dining room.

Alex sat down across from her after pulling out her chair. "This looks delicious," he said, commenting on her chicken parmesan and spaghetti.

"So…" Alex started, looking up from his meal at Roxanne. "That's a lovely necklace you have," he commented, gesturing at her silver chain dangling over her blouse.

Roxanne looked down, pulling up so she could see. "Thank you," she said, "I made it myself in my workshop. I felt compelled toward its design. It's shaped like a key," she continued, taking it off so he could see it. "Take a look."

Alex examined the necklace, intrigued by the handle-like top and the pointed edges. "It could almost be a weapon," he commented.

Roxanne nodded absently, as he was plagued with another vision of a strange weapon-like key before him…

-----------

"_What…What is this thing?"_

"_The Heartless have great fear of the Keyblade."_

"_That's right. The Keyblade."_

--------------

Roxanne shook himself, smiling over at Axel, who was holding out the necklace for her. "Thanks," she said quietly, reclasping the necklace. Needing to change the subject away from the necklace, she asked him about his work.

"What made you pick firefighting?" she inquired.

"Hmmm…" Alex said, thinking. "Ever since I was little, I have had this…fascination with fire. I decided I should put it to good use," he finished, taking a bite of his chicken.

--------------------

"_You control fire?" Roxas asked him, shock only _slightly_ evident in his voice._

"_Sure do," Axel said, gloating. "It's very effective." _

_Roxas looked slightly downcast. "I'll never learn how to use this damn Keyblade," he said exasperatedly. "It feels like I've just…forgotten."_

_Axel laughed as he turned towards him, giving him plenty of space in the practice room._

"_You just have to relax," he said, spreading his arms. "Go on, hit me."_

_Roxas sighed, charging at him. Axel was ready to easily parry his move when he pivoted abruptly, hitting Axel in the side. Axel had the wind knocked out of him, and he was taken down by Roxas' momentum._

"_Nice one," Axel said softly as Roxas lay on top of him._

"_Oh, um…sorry…" Roxas said, starting to get up._

"_That was fine…" Axel muttered, holding Roxas in place. "This is better…" he finished, kissing him softly._

----------------------

Alex locked eyes with Roxanne, confused. "Did you see that?" he asked, serious.

"See what?" Roxanne said, chuckling. Alex picked up a rather nervous tint to it, however.

"You did!" Alex said, leaning forward. "Do you know what it is?"

Roxanne shook her head. "I …I have to go to the bathroom," she said, abruptly standing up. Alex stood up as well, crossing the small distance, grabbing her by the arm and pulling. Roxanne lost her balance, falling against him as she turned.

"Dammit Axel!" she yelled in a distinctly lower timbre. Alex's eyes widened as she clapped a hand over her mouth, pulling away from him.

"Axel…?" he murmured, looking away from her. _Why does that sound right? More importantly…_

"You're not a woman?" he asked slowly.

Roxanne slowly shook her head. "….No," he admitted, looking away. "My name's Ross. I've been cross-dressing for a couple of years."

"Why?"

Ross shrugged. "I dunno, I was just…bored. I needed something interesting to do. Mystery. Intrigue."

"Secret identities?" Alex continued, raising an eyebrow. "I'm still calling you Rox…" he said quietly. "It fits."

Ross nodded absently.

Alex looked at him seriously. "Do you know anything about that…vision?"

Ross shook his head. "I just…I've been having them too. Ever since I met you, I keep seeing this…Axel character. He looks kind of like you…Its freaking me out. I need to change," he said, turning towards his bedroom. "The living room is that way," he pointed, "I'll be right there."

--------------------

Alex looked up from the couch as Ross entered the room. His eyes widened as he looked at him. His hair was spiked casually, giving his fierce blue eyes a less gentle look. _Damn,_ Alex thought, slowly admiring this new person before him.

"You look great, Roxas," Alex said offhandedly. As soon as the name came out of his mouth, he did a double take.

"Roxas?" Ross said, eyebrow raised. "That sounds…familiar…" He shook his head, sitting down next to Alex. "Anyway, I'm sorry for this…crazy affair," he said, laughing slightly.

"It's been quite interesting," Alex admitted.

"I don't think you'll see me again," Ross continued, "I'm leaving this town to start my business elsewhere. Business has been slow anyways. It's time for a new place."

Although Alex had known him for scarcely a day, he felt alarmed. "What? Don't!"

"Why?" Ross asked. "No one will miss me."

"I would," Alex said automatically. He blinked. "I have no idea where that came from."

Ross sighed. "We're hopeless."

Alex laughed. "Or just slightly inebriated. What did you put in that chicken?" Ross laughed, leaning closer to him.

"Whatever the recipe called for. Sure, it might have asked for a _little_ wine…" Ross suddenly had an idea. "Hey! My roof is the _perfect_ place for star-gazing. Let's go up!"

Alex nodded and followed him up the stairs.

-------------------

"It's perfect…." Alex muttered, leaning back with Ross on the roof as they watched the stars.

"Too bad you forgot the ice cream," Ross said automatically.

Axel looked over at him, eyes widening. "What--?"

------------------

"_It's perfect," Axel muttered softly, sitting with his arm around Roxas at the top of the clock tower._

"_Too bad you forgot the ice cream," Roxas said dryly, snuggling into Axel's embrace. _

_Axel pretended to be offended. "Hey! It was my idea to come up here at night in the first place! Cut me some slack!"_

_Roxas smiled, looking up at the stars. "Hey, Axel…?" _

"_Hm?"_

"_Have you ever wondered what would have happened if we both lived normal lives?" Roxas asked quietly. "With no Heartless, no Somebodies, no problems at all?"_

_Axel sighed contentedly, holding him closer. "We'd be the same we are now, Rox. Together, as always." He turned, kissing Roxas' forehead softly._

"_Forever."_

_Roxas smiled. "I'd like that," he muttered, leaning up to kiss Axel under the starlight. _

-------------------

"Forever…" Alex muttered, staring at Ross intensely. "Roxas…?"

Ross smiled at him. "Axel!" He hugged him tightly.

Axel grinned and hugged him closer. "Well, that went well."

"What did?" Roxas asked offhandedly.

"My whole divine plan to be reborn into the same era and meet again."

Roxas looked up at him skeptically. "Oh _yes,_ Axel, it was _your_ plan that made this happen. Nothing else at all," he said sarcastically.

Axel grinned. "Who cares? We're together again…"

Roxas smirked. "Your hair is black," he commented.

Axel made a face. "I'll be dyeing it. _You_ were dressing as a woman!"

Roxas laughed. "What can I say? I had to release my inner feminine wiles."

Axel snorted. "The day you have feminine wiles is the day that Vexen declares a love for inferiors and small children," he said dryly.

Roxas sighed, content in Axel's embrace. "We have normal lives now," he said contentedly.

Axel nodded. "How about we go inside and celebrate? I'm sure you have some kinky things mixed in with your mini skirts…"

Roxas blushed and led the way off the roof.

---------------------

"But Mr. Vexner, I didn't _do_ anything!"

The kindergarten teacher rolled his eyes as he dragged the child over to time out. "Now, Marlin, you stay here until you learn to behave," he said, turning to continue teaching his beloved class.

Marlin pouted, already plotting his revenge on his stupid teacher. _We'll see how he handles his hair being dyed blonde…_

------------------

GAH END. its twenty to two. TOLD you that one was a crazy. NOW the next one is another crazy sick one, BUT. WEllll its more of a memory loss one. BUT IT LEFT BLANKS for the names! SO ya'll pick two people, and whomever gets the most votes is who it will be!

AND if you didn't get the end, its Vexen as a kindergarten teacher with Marluxia as the devil child. XD

Alright R AND R

The last one was Kairi. XD

This ones harder:

_Roxas shuddered and smiled up at him. "Phenomenal sex time?"_

freaky-hanyou


	62. Stalker: AkuRoku

Oh darlings. First off, I am preeeeeeeeeeetty sure that I only have 3 suggestions for Valentines day. Two from Zesty and one from Kiki. (there has to be an easier way to rummage through reviews…like by penname or something) So if I somehow missed yours, tell me! XD

IN OTHER NEWS OF OMWOWNESS. YOU PEOPLE HAVE JUST TOOK ONE GIANT STEP TOWARDS FREEING ROXAS (::Bets cookies that some don't even remember he was imprisoned XD::) AND I DIDN'T EVEN HELP. XD

YOU BROKE THE HIGH SCORE!! WOOT! The score is now set at 18/however high chap 61's reviews go. OMG you people. XD

SO anyway. It being February's RokuAku day, I was going to write a fanfic of my own idea that had nothing to do with Vtines but was a RokuAku to the core. XD But. I remembered I had many a Vtine to get out, and so I thought I should pick one. I should do Kiki's cuz it was suggested first, but its more of a Zemyx, and the other one is a Zemyx, So. This leaves this one, _which_ I was going to have be AkuRoku, but hell. It's a minor dialogue change.

The moral of the story is, cookies to you people! You make me proud. 8D After these three, What Ifs will resume from the original position in the list.

::quickly now:: ahha I love how all of you loved Mr. Vexner XD AND I FOOLED YOU with my Roxanne. (I love how you people read this story in a marathon, its amazing) XD EeeeKoriinaaaplay and have fun! tdreamer OMG RENT fun, it came here last spring but my mom hates he rockoperaness of the musical so. Boo. XD And springs always crazy if ya'll didn't notice. ahah Onlyinthislight I can see Axel being one of those fireman strippers…

"'Have you ever wondered what would have happened if we both lived normal lives?'   
Yeah! Roxas would be a CROSSDRESSER and Axel a fireman STRIPPER!"

I laughed. Very obnoxiously so. XD

::frustration:: I want to reply to all of you dammit! SJDFKLS. Aw Zesty, I think that Vtines day is Singles Awareness Day. XD

ANYWAY. I LOVE ALL OF YOU, BUT IF I REPLIED TO EVERYONE ID PROBABLY GET CITED AND ITD TAKE UP THE MAJORITY OF THE STORY XD Everyone's reviews make my day, and yes I do notice when you do review or do not (TK I MISSSEDYOU! XD)

AHEM. Lastly, WE HAVE SOME BIRTHDAYS COMING UP. SO, lightbulb for me, ye who knows who you are, gimme a special birthday request/whatif/something XD And itll go up in the rankings. It is a holiday. XD

SO YE WHO HAVENT TOLD ME WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS. XD IF YOU FEEL THE NEED YOU GET SPECIAL TREATMENT.

Alright I'm done. XD

**What If…**

_Axel had a secret admirer, and_

_he didn't know who it was?_

_((as suggested by Zesty!))_

_February 10__th_

Axel whistled a merry tune of "The Christmas Song" as he walked back to his room. _Heh,_ he thought, grinning, as his whistles evolved into a loud hum as fellow members gave him an odd look, _never follow the mold. Besides, there are few Valentines songs worth whistling anyway._

As he approached his door, he noticed that there was a pink piece of construction paper attached to it. He raised an eyebrow as he stopped in front of it, reading the curvy handwriting:

_If I could have just one wish,  
I would wish to wake up everyday  
to the sound of your breath on my neck,  
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,  
the touch of your fingers on my skin,  
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...  
Knowing that I could never find that feeling  
with anyone other than you._

Axel 'awwed' under his breath as he continued to read:

_Here's to spending today and always with you,_

_Your Stalker_

Axel snorted. _Of course, it just wouldn't be fitting if I had a "Secret Admirer." Gotta be different! _Axel smiled as he took the poem into his room. _Now, who could the little poet be?_

_February 11__th_

Axel smirked as he saw another letter taped to his door as he returned from his mission. He smiled secretively, taking it off the door and taking it into his bedroom. He sat on his bed as he read the bold letters: 

_You're my man, my mighty king,  
And I'm the jewel in your crown,  
You're the sun so hot and bright,  
I'm your light-rays shining down,_

Axel smiled as he allowed his ego to inflate. _Damn straight I'm as hot as the sun… _

_You're the sky so vast and blue,  
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,  
I'm a river clean and pure,  
Who in your ocean finds his rest,_

Axel snickered. _This is getting dirty…_

_You're the mountain huge and high,  
I'm the valley green and wide,  
You're the body firm and strong,  
And I'm a rib bone on your side,_

Axel grinned widely. _Damn straight I'm the mountain and he's the valley…_

_You're an eagle flying high,  
I'm your feathers light and brown,  
You're my man, my king of kings,  
And I'm the jewel in your crown._

_The jewel in my crown, huh…_Axel thought, scratching his chin. He opened the card for more:

_Don't think just because I'm the 'valley' that you're the 'mountain…'_

_You can be the sheath for my sword anytime._

_Your Stalker._

Axel blinked. _Did this card just threaten to rape me? I gotta find out who this is…_

_February 12__th_

Axel sighed as he walked back up the hallway to his bedroom. _People here suck…I know it isn't Marluxia, but that guy is just so hard to read! Always agreeing with anything to cause mischief…there's always Demyx, but I'm pretty sure he and Zexion are an item…_

_What about Roxas…? _He thought for a moment, pausing in the hallway. He laughed to himself, shaking his head.

"Nah, it _can't_ be Roxas. He's my best friend, he wouldn't like me like that…" He muttered to himself as he walked to his room.

Around the corner of the hall, a hooded figure grinned as he was swallowed up by a portal.

Axel feigned surprise to himself as he saw yet another poem on his door. He ripped it off and took it into his bedroom, sitting down to read:

_I thought love was just a mirage of the mind,  
it's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find.  
But the day I met you, I began to see,  
that love is real, and exists in me._

_See you tomorrow,_

_Your Stalker._

Axel smiled to himself. _Short and sweet…Wait, tomorrow? _He stood up to look at his calendar. _Tomorrow isn't Valentine's Day…_

_Why is he coming tomorrow?_

_February 13__th_

Axel cautiously approached his door, knowing that some crazy being was near it. _He could be inside for all I know…_he thought, opting to read the poem for today outside:

_If there's one face I want to see,  
so beautiful, so true,  
one smile that makes a difference,  
to everything I do._

If there's one touch I long to feel,  
one voice I long to hear,  
whenever I am happy,  
or just needing someone near.

If there's one joy, one love,  
from which I never want to part,  
it's you, my very special love,  
my world, my life, my heart.

_I'm waiting,_

_Your Stalker_

Axel read over the poem a few times, getting a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. _Although his ending line is a bit creepy…_he thought as he quickly opened his door.

"Where's my Rome—_Roxas?"_ Axel said as he shut his door, speechless to the sight of a red boxer-clad Roxas on his bed. Roxas grinned devilishly.

"Hey."

Axel gaped at him. "But you…we…_you?"_

Roxas' grin grew wider. "Yes, me. What of it?"

Axel paused, trying to think of his reasons before as to why they couldn't be together. "But…we're best friends!"

"Ever hear of friends with benefits?"

Axel almost dropped to the floor, for his legs turned into a substance resembling jelly as Roxas' voice turned husky. He dragged himself over to his computer chair, sitting down and facing Roxas seriously.

"Is there something you want to tell me Roxas?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Haven't you gotten the message all week?" He gestured down at his lack of attire. "Isn't _this_ a strong message?"

Axel swallowed. "So…you really love me?" he whispered.

Roxas smiled again. "Of course. After all, you are as hot as the sun," he winked.

Axel smiled as he scooted his chair closer. "How did you know I'd like that line?"

Roxas' grin turned smug. "What can I say? I know you," he said. "Now…what is your reply to my wooing?"

Axel smirked. "Well, you've been pretty persistent…" he joked. "Who knew you could be such a poet?"

Roxas smiled. "That's the beauty of the internet."

Axel laughed to himself before quickly abandoning his chair and pinning Roxas to his bed.

"Damn, Roxy," he whispered urgently, his voice breaking slightly.

"What happened to being best friends?" Roxas asked sarcastically.

Axel grinned sheepishly. "Well…I didn't want to scare you away," he rationalized. "Why didn't you say something sooner? We could have had so much more fun…"

Roxas smiled secretively. "Well, it is the _thirteenth_ of February. It's my special Valentine's Day…" he whispered, moving closer to Axel's lips.

"So…?"

"So there's _two_ days of sex in the deal."

Axel smiled. "Sounds like a plan," he whispered as Roxas closed the distance between them. Axel's eyes widened as Roxas quickly took control, shifting so he was sprawled out on top of Axel. Roxas made short work of Axel's cloak, never once breaking the kiss as he leisurely caressed his shoulder. Axel sighed happily as Roxas' other hand rested calmly on his hip, squeezing gently.

"The thirteenth?" Axel questioned softly as they broke apart for air. "Does that mean-"

"Sure does," Roxas said, grinning. "Sure you don't want to wait until tomorrow?"

Axel waved the thought away with his hand before wrapping them both around Roxas' neck. "Do your worst." Roxas smiled devilishly.

"With pleasure."

-----------------------------------

Eeeee. I liked that one! Now before anything else, I did not write those lovely pieces of poetry. They are by: Courtney Kuchta, Nima Akbari, Chris Farmer, and John Ragland. All I did was Google love poem XD.

Now anyway. Last time was in fact, Twister. XD A few of you got it. I dunno when I'll update next my darlings!

HAPPY VALENTINES/SINGLES AWARENESS DAY! ((Here's a reeeallly easy one))

"_Déjeme en su casa que usted __bitch__," he said, smirking._

freaky-hanyou


	63. Secret Admirer: Zemyx

Yeah still have 3 Vtines what ifs to do. ::innocence:: Life is so crazeh my children. I have like, a research paper due on the 29th that I haven't started yet. Ugh. So I sat down here and I'm like dammit tiredness, fuck you I'm updating. XD

Holy wow it just took me the better part of 20 minutes to FIND the three What Ifs in the dogpile of reviews. There needs to be a search engine for reviews I swear to god. I knew WHO and WHAT(kinda) they entailed, but I had no idea WHERE. SO I pulled all three out and stuck them in my Story Ideas document (I always forget my ideas, so I have to put them somewhere! XD Half of them will come to nothing, some already have, but its okay!)

TK brought up the amazing point that I should just respond with the reviewrespondage button. WHICH is an amazing idea, BUT since I barely have enough time to update here, we're going to skip this bit of the author note in the beginning. Cept for a few…XD BUT ALL of your reviews make me laugh. Seriously.

And hey I did my homework to Christmas music on the 14th. XD And darling Koriina, I always used to check to see when my old favorites updated. XD

I love all these new people::waves:: Great to hear from you! AND PEOPLE you can put more than one what if in the line up ((Sofricus XD))! You can put as many as you want!

And let me say. That when writing a Zemyx, it is really hard to distinguish Zexy and Zesty. XD

…_Ohmygod. YESTERDAYWASSORASBIRTHDAYANDITOTALLYFORGOT. (WHY must I remember this the18th instead of yesterday.)_

::bows in forgiveness:: DARLING IM SORRY. I shall do ANYTHING you want to appease you. XD

SO FIRST PART OF THE APOLOGY IS:

::ahem::::blows kazoo::

HAAAPY HAPPY [BELATED) BIIIIIIIRTHDAY!

HAAAPY HAPPY [BELATED) BIIIIIRTHDAY!

HAAAPY HAPPY [BELATED) BIIIIRTHDAY!

TO YOU TO YOU TO YOU!

_OLE!_

I fail as a reviewer-loving authoress. T-T

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas blackmailed Demyx into becoming Zexion's secret admirer?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Kiki))_

Axel grinned as he slowly pushed open the door to Demyx's room, putting a finger to his lips when Roxas started to giggle behind him. _Shhh! _Axel mouthed, _he'll know we're watching him sleep…_

_It is a little creepy…_ Roxas mouthed back. Axel sweatdropped as he shut the door quietly, shaking his head.

_It's the best way to get secrets! He always talks in his sleep. _He turned to look at Demyx, who slept peacefully facing them. _See!_ Axel pointed,_he's talking right now!_

"Mmmm…Zexy…"

Axel chuckled quietly as he squatted down by Demyx as he continued to mutter. "Stop…tickles…"

"What's he doing, Demyx?" Axel whispered, winking at Roxas.

"Blowing…." Axel nearly choked as Demyx stopped to shift, "my ear…"

Roxas nearly exploded as he tried to keep in his laughter. Demyx sighed in appreciation as he rolled onto his back. "Now what's he doing Demyx?"

"Shut up, Axel, we're kissing…" Axel looked puzzled. _He's never directly addressed me before…_

Somewhere in the dark recesses of Demyx's mind, he realized that there was something wrong with addressing Axel in a hot steamy make out dream with just him and Zexion. _Should I be talking to Axel while kissing Zexion?_He thought, slowly coming back to he real world. _Dammit, and that was such a good dream too…_

Demyx blearily opened his eyes to see Axel and Roxas grinning mischievously at him. "Axel?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"Don't mind us," Roxas said smirking, "go back to having your hot sex with dear Zexy."

Demyx shot up in bed, grasping his head from the sudden vertigo. "To _what?"_

"Oh come on Demyx," Axel said, standing up, "We know all about your little dream love affair with Zexion."

Demyx gaped. _I am so screwed._ "So…what are you going to do about it?"

"Oh nothing," Axel said, luring Demyx into false relief, "Just tell him at breakfast."

"You wouldn't," Demyx said.

"Try us," Roxas replied, grinning.

Demyx sighed. "Alright, alright, what do you want this time?" he asked, 'fondly' remembering the time the two overheard him dreaming about square dancing with Marluxia, which resulted in him doing their laundry for two weeks.

"Hmmm…Laundry?" Roxas asked Axel.

"Nah, too easy…" Axel replied, thinking. Suddenly, his eyes took on a devious glint. "I have the perfect solution to your little problem, Demyx."

Demyx looked at Axel warily. "What problem?"

"Why, confessing to Zexion, of course! And, it being two days before Valentine's Day, its the perfect time to do so!"

Demyx looked away. "But I don't think he'd accept me…" he said, more to himself.

"That's where our help comes in," Roxas said, realizing Axel's plan.

"We'll help you show your…_admiration _to dear Zexion," Axel began.

"Or we'll tell him at breakfast for you." finished Roxas.

"I guess I don't have a choice then, do I?" Demyx sighed.

"Nope!" Axel said, giving Roxas a high five.

-----((Axel and Roxas: The Russian Mafia XD))----

Demyx glared into his pancakes as he slowly ate his breakfast. _Secret Admirer… bullshit,_ he thought darkly. _What, are we in grade school? _

"_Remember," Axel said as they walked down to breakfast, "We'll know if you don't do it."_

Demyx glared as he remembered Axel's triumphant grin at his little scheme. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered, excusing himself from breakfast and heading to his room.

------------------

Zexion entered his room after breakfast and immediately noticed something was different. He looked around his room, locating the difference on his bed. He saw a little bag of sugar with a purple ribbon tied around it, with a small card attached. It read:

_You're sweet. Well, sometimes you can be sweet, but most of the time you can be quite a stick in the mud…_

_You're sweet okay?_

_Your Secret Admirer_

Zexion picked up the bag, raising an eyebrow. He sniffed it tentatively. Amidst the smell of sugar and sweet flavoring, whiffs of water and the sea were found. Zexion sat down on his bed, puzzled.

_Demyx…? _He thought, trying to rationalize the reason of giving him a gift. _Well, this card is pure Demyx…But why would he give me a gift? Valentine's Day isn't for two days… Why would he give me a gift anyway? I barely talk to him…_

Zexion dismissed the small sugar bag, intending to throw it away. Instead, he placed it gently on his nightstand, still lost in thought.

_What would he see in me?_

------------------------

The next day, Zexion returned from his research in the library to collapse on his bed. However, he forgot about Demyx's little 'gift', and got smacked in the face with a ruler. Grumbling, he turned it over to read the note written in Sharpie:

_No one can ever measure up to you in my mind. Well, technically you're kinda short, and I'm taller than you, but hey, it's a metaphor. _

_You're special, alright?_

_Your Secret Admierer_

Zexion took a sniff, confirming that this gift was also from Demyx. _What the hell is he up to…_ He fell back on his bed in frustration. _Does he know that I dream about him? He couldn't… I already did Axel and Roxas' laundry for a week for that…_

_What is he thinking?_

-----------------------------

Zexion was aware that it was Valentine's Day the entire time he was on his mission. He could barely see the words as he wrote out his final report in the library. _Gah! _He thought distractedly, _I can't focus! What is going to be waiting for me in my room? Maybe it's him…_

Images of a scantily-clad Demyx laid out on his bed came unbidden to his mind. He waved them off, determined to finish his mission. _I will go to my room, and there will be nothing but a stick, or a flower, or something…_

Still, the image would not leave his mind. Zexion wrote out his conclusion, scowling as he went to turn it in.

-----------------

Zexion cautiously opened the door to his room, peering around. _No sign of Demyx, _he thought, sighing as he picked up the small bottle that laid next to the ruler and bag of sugar on his nightstand.

_Well I couldn't think of a cute little phrase to go with this…Knowing you, you probably already know who this is. So, drink your little bottle of Love Potion Number 9 and come see me!_

_Yes, that pun was intended._

_Your Not-so-Secret Admirer _

Zexion smiled at the little bottle. He took off the cap and sniffed it. _Grape juice,_ he thought, drinking it down before summoning a portal to Demyx's room.

Zexion saw Demyx sitting on his bed, fidgeting as he muttered a small hello to Zexion.

Zexion gestured to the little bottle he still held in his hand. "Care to explain this?"

Demyx looked away, cheeks pinking. "Axel and Roxas put me up to it…" he muttered.

Zexion stepped back. "Oh…" _That makes sense. They knew that I had…feelings…for him, so they decided to have Demyx screw with me. _"Thank you for putting up with their stupidity," Zexion said, forcing a smile. "Even though you didn't mean it, it's still…sweet," he finished, laughing at his own pun as he summoned a portal.

"Wait a second!" Demyx exclaimed as he stood up. "What makes you think I didn't mean it?"

"Obviously you were blackmailed…" Zexion said, raising an eyebrow. "Did you mean it?"

Demyx sat back down, face pink again. "…Yes."

Zexion dropped the bottle. Luckily, it was plastic, so it bounced harmlessly on the ground before rolling by the desk. "You did?"

Demyx nodded. "They heard me dreaming a few nights ago, so they kind of took matters into their own hands…"

Zexion sat down next to Demyx, grinning sheepishly. "That makes sense. And here I thought…" he stopped himself, almost revealing his own 'feelings'.

"What?" Demyx said, looking over at him.

"Well…" Zexion said, blushing as well, "a few weeks ago, Axel and Roxas overheard me dreaming about…something, and I had to do their laundry for a week. So I thought that they were just mocking me with you," he finished lamely.

Demyx grinned. "What…_kind_ of dream was it?"

Zexion's face turned redder. "Nothing!"

Demyx's grin turned sly. "I don't believe you," he said, turning towards Zexion.

"Were there kinky objects involved?"

Zexion's eyes widened as he looked away. "Of course not!"

"There was!" Demyx said, putting an arm on either side of Zexion as he shifted closer, "I feel the same you know," he admitted quietly, "You can tell me."

"I know…" Zexion said, looking away, "but still…"

"It's alright," Demyx said, pulling away from him to sit next to him again. "We can start slowly."

"Handcuffs," Zexion said abruptly, turning red.

Demyx laughed. "You kinky bastard."

"Hey!" Zexion said, turning to see Demyx smiling deviously.

"Experimenting is always fun," he said, smiling, "What other secrets are you hiding?" Demyx muttered as he moved closer to pin Zexion to the headboard of his bed.

"You'll just have to find out…" Zexion muttered, covering Demyx's lips with his own.

----------------

Gah I'm tired now. It's really fun to make Zexion a closet lover of all things Kinky. I've decided to make it a theme. XD

Now, last time the Name that Chapter was indeed Chapter 31: Dora the Explorer XD

Here's an easy one:

"_Learn this, and learn it quickly. I do not apply to the laws of science. Got it memorized?"_

freaky-hanyou


	64. The Scavenger Hunt: Zemyx

I love you all. XD Like, seriously, if I could free Roxas this _instant_ I would, but alas alack, he is under a specific time constraint suggested in a what if type nature ::winks at Zesty::

BUT OMG YOU PEOPLE MAKE MY CENTURY.

Gahah OnlyinthisLight, SCRATCHAND SNIFF. Pretty much made my life. TK::blinks innocently:: I find it rather fun. Because I for one, cannot even remember anything myself ever. Every day I forget something. There has to be something wrong with me. Xforalways, I have a research paper due in 2 weeks! I started today though. ::proud:: Researching, that is.

I love seeing all you new people::waves::

AND OMG. TDREAMER. (see how I attempt to find initials? I'm lazy like that) "You've inspired me to start drawing hillarious scenes from these stories."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY!?! I would probably remove a part of my spleen to see this. XD (don't feel pushed, life comes first. XD)

You people are amazing.

**What If…**

_Zexion left Demyx a scavenger hunt for Valentine's Day, but_

_it accidentally led to a different person?_

_((as suggested by ze lurvely Zesty))_

Demyx almost squealed in delight as his alarm went off. He hurriedly turned it off, opening his eyes in an energetic fashion. _It's Valentine's Day!_ He thought, throwing off the covers and hurriedly dressing for breakfast, _It's time for steamy, end-that-mission-early Valentine's sex! _

Although he was alone in his room, Demyx looked around surreptitiously as he rummaged in his dresser looking for Zexion's present.

_He's going to love this!_ He thought happily, nearly skipping down to breakfast.

---------------------------

_Something's wrong,_ Demyx thought concerned as he stared up the table at Zexion as he ate his bacon. _He hasn't even looked at me…_

Suddenly, Zexion excused himself and abruptly summoned a portal, obviously off to start his mission for the day. Demyx sighed. _Maybe he forgot? _

Demyx stood up slowly, dragging his feet back to his bedroom to prepare for a long mission.

-----------------------------

_What's this? _Demyx thought as he opened his door, noticing a big blue 'X' on his desk. Next to it was a small note card, with curly handwriting that read:

_Although you see my obscured face every day,_

_You never seem to look my way,_

_I go crazy in the darkness waiting for you,_

_Only you will truly be able to bring me light._

Demyx blinked. _What now? _He turned the card over. It read:

_Go to the broom closet across the hall and look by the flashlights, Demyx. _

"Oooh!" Demyx said, heading for the door. Suddenly, a thought struck him. "Wait. Waiiiiit a minute. Who is this?" He read the card over again.

_I would assume it's Zexion,_ he reasoned, _but then again…he did seem to be in a very businesslike mood today…Who else could it be? _

_Obscured face…Crazy in darkness?...Bring me light…Why does that sound like…_He noticed the big blue X as his clue. He dropped the card.

_Saix?_

------------------------------

Demyx cautiously opened the door to the broom closet, expecting to be attacked. Seeing no one, he cautiously walked over to where the flashlights were kept. There, he saw a heavy brick sitting next to the pile with a small card. Turning on a flashlight, he read the inscription:

_Big blunt weapons are always the most fun. Go back to your bedroom to find one._

Demyx read over the card multiple times. _Saix wields a claymore…which is a crazy heavy blunt object…It can't be. _He slowly walked back to his bedroom, praying that he was wrong.

As he opened his door, he noticed that the curtains had been drawn, revealing the giant moon of Kingdom Hearts in his window. There was a note taped to the window. He pulled it off, hesitantly reading:

_Only in moonlight tonight may we truly meet,_

_After our missions are complete,_

_In front of the castle I'll see you,_

_Surely you aren't wondering who?_

_Because if you are…_

Demyx stared at the card a moment before turning it over.

_Then we can't screw._

Demyx dropped the card as if it had burned him. _This _so_ better be Zexion!_ He thought, sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. "This is insane," he muttered, "And I have to go through a _mission_ before all of this?!"

"I'm going to get stabbed by a Heartless…" he thought, summoning a portal.

------------------------

Somehow, Demyx put the strange clues out of his mind for his mission. Only when he returned later to the front of the castle did his worries return. He looked around suspiciously. _What if Saix is here waiting to jump me? _He looked up at the full moon above. _Dammit, doesn't this place ever believe in clouds?_

"Hello, Demyx." A deep voice behind him announced before wrapping his arms around Demyx from behind. Demyx jumped, squeaking.

"Surprised it's me?" the voice continued, nuzzling his nose into Demyx's neck. Demyx shuddered, turning around to get a better view.

"Y-yes, of course…_Zexion?!"_ Demyx finished as he turned around to see Zexion grinning behind him.

"What?" Zexion said innocently. "Am I not allowed to have a little fun on Valentine's Day? I thought a scavenger hunt would be the perfect way to spend the day, right?"

Demyx stared at him for a minute, before bursting out into laughter. Zexion raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh nothing," Demyx said between giggles, "It's just…I thought that….that…"

"Do you need a sedative, Demyx?" Zexion said, eyes glinting with mild amusement.

Demyx shook his head, composing himself. "No…but all day you had me thinking that you were someone else."

"Who?"

"Saix."

Zexion was silent for a long moment. Demyx looked closely at him and realized that his shoulders were shaking with silent mirth.

Demyx struggled to defend himself. "Seriously! An _X?"_

"It was a scavenger hunt."

Demyx pulled out the notes from his pocket. "'_ You never seem to look my way'?_Come on, Zexy, that isn't you." At this, Zexion looked away slightly. "Right?"

"Well," Zexion said slowly, "You never look at me during meal time."

Demyx snorted. "Come on! I was staring at you _all morning._ Someone needs to learn to pay attention," he said, winking.

Zexion glared at him. "What else gave you this crazy idea that I was…Saix?" he said, barely able to speak the thought without cracking up.

"A big blunt weapon?"

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "You don't know what that is?"

Demyx blushed and continued his defense. "Your last clue was the _moon_, Zexy! It scared me! I mean all day I was thinking that-"

"You were being an idiot and all of your evidence was completely unfounded," Zexion finished. "Now, nonsense aside, I do believe that it is Valentine's Day?" he questioned.

Demyx's eyes lit up, remembering something. "That's right! I have a present for you!" He handed Zexion a bright red box, beaming. Zexion slowly opened the gift. When he saw what was inside, he blushed profusely.

"_Demyx,_ you don't seriously think that I need-"

"Hey," Demyx said seriously, "if I have to be handcuffed to _your_ headboard, I would prefer not to get metal marks on my wrists. Ergo, fuzzy handcuffs."

Zexion's face turned redder as Demyx laughed at him. "What do you say we go test them out?"

"I don't see why not," Zexion reasoned, slowly guiding Demyx back to the castle.

------------------------

"See?" Xemnas said, pulling Saix away from the edge of the alleyway. "I told you that Demyx wasn't looking for you today. You just saw him meet Zexion," he said decisively.

"But he was muttering about me at dinner!" Saix protested. "They could have been talking about me over there, you know," he pointed out.

"Nonsense," Xemnas said dismissively, summoning a portal. "Now hurry up. It's Valentine's

Day, and we have a lot of night ahead of us." Saix nodded, hurrying into the portal.

-----------------------------

hahhha. THAT was fun business. I have a headache now sadly. The end? Totally on the spot. XD

Scavenger Hunts are fun! XD

Alright, the last one was indeed Road Trip, Chapter 6. Hopefully this ones more difficult…

"…_slitting your wrists?" Riku asked tentatively, reaching for a phone to call the Suicide Hotline._

_Sora laughed. "No silly, I wanna get __wasted!"_

freaky-hanyou


	65. The Valentines Flowers: Everyone

K I am getting really,_really_ confused with this whole 'Let's keep track of the What Ifs' thing. I am SO this close () to just sitting here and GOING through all gamillion (WHEEE) of the reviews and putting them in a word document.

So I'd remember things like writing a what if special about the sitar strings the quarter and the stapler when the reviews for that chapter appear, and when the reviews for Reincarnation appear I'd write one with Mr. Vexner and Marlin. AND I'd be able to find a flipping what if when I wanted (for example, did anyone suggest one about someone like, shrinking in size or _something?_ I swear to god I _know_ there is one like that) and I'd be able to have semblance of organization.

Unfortunately, Organization and I aren't on speaking terms. So we'll have to just grin and bear it. Besides, if that what if (above XD) doesn't exist, then I have an idea for another one shot. XD I might write one of my ideas after this, im not sure.

Haha, Kinky Zexion is like my favorite thing to write about now. It's a theme. XD And people! Demyx/Saix is just wrong. XD TK, a werewolf sounds like a good possibility. Aw you poor darling, I get 5 hours sometimes on school nights anditssohorrible I'm like. Asleep. 1st period. XD And yeah the drunk thing was me, Misunderstanding chapter 50.

Speaking of….Tdreamer, your picture sounds amazing, but Marluxia isn't _in_ chapter 50. Do you mean the New Years Eve one? Or the Cookie Sutra? I can't imagine which one you mean. XD

Aw Darling Sora, you're gone right now but I'm putting this here so when you return you know I was thinking of you. 8D

ahahahah Xigbar's handcuffs. Amazing, dear OnlyinthisLight (girl, you need a nickname, I cant shorten your penname XD)

AND I FORGOT SOME OTHER AMAZING STORIES: Not That I Care, which I haven't read in a while cuz I keep forgetting about it, but it's the sweetness, Where the Hell is Magic Lake? (just read it. XD), And ZESTY I have a story like that I'm (still in the process of!) reading! Its called Kingdom Hearts 2 Lost Chapters. Its written like the video game with the dead Nobodies. Its. Amazing.

And darling VexenIV, I do have an idea for a Marlexen, but I'm saving it for 4-11 you see. Marluxia is the seme however. XD

AND THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE UPDATION. ALTHOUGHT ITS LIKE, 1130, ITS STILL THE 22ND AND THEREFORE KIKI'S BIRTHDAY!! SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

::blows kazoo:: ONE TWO THREE FOUR

HAAAPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIRTHDAY

HAAAPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIRTHDAY

HAAAPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIRTHDAY

TO YOU TO YOU TO YOU

_OLE!_

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!

So hey! Those who got birthdays in March, speak up so I can write them down in my planner! XD K shutting up. XD

**What If…**

_All the Organization members came to Marluxia for flowers_

_and bouquets, and one day Marluxia decides to_

_add an aphrodisiac scent to them?_

_((as suggested by the dear OnlyinthisLight))_

Marluxia sighed contentedly as he filled yet another rose order for Valentine's Day. _Ahhh, Valentine's Day flowers…the perfect mission,_ he thought happily, content to stay in his greenhouse forever. February was Marluxia's busiest season, and all of his missions were spent exclusively filling flower orders.

_Strange,_ he commented as he finished his last arrangement, _Axel and Roxas keep ordering a lot of roses…they better not be using them for anything devious,_ he thought as he sent them off to be delivered by the lesser nobodies.

----------------

_Phew,_ Marluxia thought after a hard day of work, _now it's time for a nice rest. Tomorrow's another wonderful day in the greenhouse!_ Marluxia was in such a good mood that he could have skipped to his room. He flung open the door, only to be greeted with piles and piles of rose arrangements he had made that day for Axel and Roxas. There were so many that he couldn't enter his bedroom.

Attached to the inside doorknob was a card. It read:

_To our dearest Flowerboy,_

_We figured you were missing your precious flowers,_

_so we sent as many as we could to you. Enjoy!_

_Axel and Roxas_

_P.S. Watch out for thorns!_

Marluxia twitched as he stared at the mountain of roses. _Now, I love flowers…but even with flowers there needs to be moderation! _He grumbled as he slowly began to clear a path through the giant rose bush. _We'll see how everyone likes my flowers tomorrow…_he thought evilly, smirking to himself. _With my aphrodisiac spray, no one will know what hit them._

-----------------------

The next morning, business went around as usual for Marluxia. Flowers were leaving the greenhouse left and right to be delivered to different members of the Organization. However, today Marluxia was working with an extra spring in his step because he added a special mixture to the flowers' morning watering.

_Hmmm…perhaps it is bad taste to punish everyone for Axel and Roxas' misdoings…_Marluxia thought, pausing in his arrangement. _Nah, _he thought, grinning as he continued to nurture the special 'ingredient' mixed in with his flowers.

Axel stopped by the greenhouse to pick up some flowers, expecting to see a disgruntled and scratched Marluxia glaring at him. He was surprised to find Marluxia whistling a merry tune as he arranged the flowers, lost in his own happy world.

"And why are you so happy, Marluxia?"

Marluxia turned, and beamed at the sight of Axel. "Axel! Just the person I wanted to see! I have the arrangement you ordered for Roxas!" he said, placing it calmly in front of him. Axel narrowed his eyes at it, skeptical.

"What's wrong with them?"

Marluxia looked offended. "Why, there's nothing wrong with them at all! I even gave them a _special_ breakfast this morning…"

Axel shook his head as he took the flowers, writing off this 'special breakfast' as one of Marluxia's personality quirks. "Whatever. I'll see you at dinner."

"Oh yes," Marluxia said deviously as the door shut behind Axel, "I wouldn't miss this performance for the world…"

--------------------

Marluxia strolled into dinner that night to an atmosphere as tense as the climax scene of a murder mystery, if the murder mystery was set on a gay pride cruise. He noticed members shifting awkwardly, trying to eat quickly. He grinned secretively and sat down.

Dinner was abnormally quiet as everyone focused on their food. The occasional cough was heard. Suddenly, Demyx stood up, slamming both hands down on either side of his plate. Everyone looked up at him as if he was about to begin a speech.

"I _looooooove_ men!" he yelled loudly, turning to Zexion and winking obnoxiously. "I'll see you in five, studmuffin," he purred, summoning a portal out of the kitchen. Zexion groaned quietly and hunched further over in his seat.

The Superior cleared his throat loudly. "I do not know what that outburst was about, Number VI," he began, staring intently at Zexion, "but I would prefer it never…happen…why are you looking at me like that, Saix?" The Superior switched his gaze from Number VI to Number VII, who was staring at the Superior intensely, licking his lips.

Surprisingly, a tinge of pink was seen on the Superior's cheeks as he stood up abruptly and refocused momentarily on Zexion. "…You know what I mean." He shared a meaningful glance with Saix before disappearing into a portal of darkness.

Immediately, a scream of alarm was heard from the other end of the table and a bolt of lightning was sent at Axel, searing the ends of his hair.

"What are you doing with your _foot_, Axel?!" Larxene screeched.

"Sorry," Axel said sheepishly, "I thought you were Roxas." Larxene, who was the only one who did not to get Marluxia's 'special' flowers, screamed in frustration and stood up.

"I don't know what's wrong with you boys today, but something is definitely off! And as fun as it is to watch you babies suffer, I can't take this! It's so irritating!" She turned on her heel and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Roxas turned around to watch as Larxene walked off. "How strange…" Roxas had not yet received his flowers from Axel. He turned back to look at Axel, who had a positively feral gleam in his eyes. "Axel…?"

Axel stood up, slowly circling around to Roxas' side of the table. Roxas stood up quickly, backing away from him. "Hey! What's going on? Why are you looking at me like…like-"

"Like he wants to have his way with you on the table?" Marluxia supplied helpfully.

"Yes, like that!" However, Axel did not respond and only grinned wider, causing Roxas to abandon reason and summon a portal in retreat. Axel quickly summoned one as well, following him. Roxas did not get far, for a muffled scream was heard further down the hall, followed by a door slam and Axel's cries of, "_Roxas and Axel will not be seen until next year!"_

Marluxia continued to grin as he slowly finished his dinner, standing up to leave. _Ahhh, Valentine's Day flowers…the perfect mission, and the perfect recipe for chaos. Perhaps I should do this every year…_

No one was seen until dinner the next day.

-----------------------------

haha, what a horribly random story. XD If anything isn't stated in correct English, its because I'm so tired I'm about to fall over. XD That's it for the Vtines day folks! We shall now return to our regularly scheduled programming. WHICH has blank name spots, and as of now its Zemyx 2 votes, and Soriku 1, so if you have an opinion, tell me about it! XD

R AND R THIS MONSTROSITY MY DARLINGS.

Last chapter: DRUNK! XD

Here's a good one:_"It was just…the wind…tickled me."_

freaky-hanyou


	66. Amnesia: Zemyx

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! HI EVERYBODY! Hah, it just took me about 10 minutes to find the what if I'm on. I really should make an archive. 

…I might just do that.

ANYWAY! So the play went well. EXCEPT THIS ONE HORRIBLE FRIDAY that I missed my alarm and_overslept_ until 2 friggin PM, rendering me ineligible for the_sold out_ show that night. But my techies were able, and they managed as I sat in the audience with an earbud in my ear, listening to _everything_ they did.

It was not fun. But all in all it went well. Cept the radioactive snowstorms that happened over the WEEKEND and knocked out 2 performances. -.-

But before I begin. Two things. ONE. I REMEMBERED a birthday yesterday, but I was exhausted and since SPRING BREAK STARTS TODAY WOOT! I would bow down in apology and updated late. So without further ado.

DARLING DARKDESKULL:blows kazoo:

HAAAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIIIRTHDAY!

HAAAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIIIRTHDAY!

HAAAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIIIIIRTHDAY!

TO YOU TO YOU TO YOU

_OLE!_

Happy Belated, darling! (Dude, you type on a Wii? THAT'S Crazeh!)

AND OMG ONEMOREPARADISE I HOPE YOUR SURGERY WENT WELL.

Btw, this chapter was 2 reviews from breaking High Score. And I cant remember any of my review comments, which is probably a good thing. BUT so many new people on this one! I LOVE all of you! and 600! Holy Hell!

Ahem. By vote, this will be a Zemyx. XD And hey, ILoveNumber8, I _work_ at a Dollar Tree. That's amazing. (well. for 3 more weeks then it goes out of business…but that's another story!)

ONE MORE THING. I totally missed the RokuAku for March….so The Day that Never Was will have to work. XD

**What If…**

_Zexion lost his memories and Demyx had to help nurture him?_

_((as suggested by the darling firelid))_

"D-Demyx…" Zexion stuttered as he was pushed against a wall in his bedroom while Demyx ravished his neck while roaming hands traveled over his half-covered chest.

"Yes?" Demyx murmured against his neck, smirking. He pushed himself closer to Zexion, running a trail of kisses to his collar bone. "Did you want to _say_ something?"

Zexion groaned a response as he wrapped his hands in Demyx's hair. 

Demyx's smirk turned devilish as he pulled Zexion to himself, edging him off the wall and towards the bed. "I didn't think so…So how would you like it?"

Zexion gasped as Demyx continued to distract him with his hands. "How…ever…" 

He smiled. "Good. Because I'm feeling a little…" he whispered in Zexion's ear, "_Crazy._" Demyx quickly pushed Zexion away from him, aiming him towards the soft bed. However, he pushed him a bit too hard, and watched in horror as Zexion flew back towards the bed, his head crashing into the headboard with a sickening thud.

------((I do declare that's T enough))-----

Demyx stood outside the Hospital Wing, forcing himself to be calm and stay still. _This is all my fault…I act so strange sometimes…_Demyx looked up as the Superior exited through the door of the Hospital Wing.

"Number IX." He said coldly.

"Yes sir?" Demyx replied hesitantly.

"I want a detailed account of what happened. _Now."_

"Well…" Demyx said, cheeks pinking as he looked away, "I kinda…." He trailed off.

"_Yes?_"

"I pushed him into my headboard." Demyx winced, waiting for the tongue-lashing he was about to receive. 

The Superior sighed as he stared at Demyx. "Number IX, because of your stupidity we lost one of the most brilliant min—"

"Wait, you _lost?"_ Demyx interrupted, sidestepping the Superior and entering the Hospital Wing. _He can't be…_ He sighed in relief as he entered the Hospital Wing to see Zexion propped up beside a window, calmly gazing at the stars outside.

"Thank goodness, Zexion, The Superior made it sound like you were—" He cut himself off as he looked closely at Zexion's expression. Demyx had expected Zexion to glare at him and make a witty comment about his strength, but surprisingly his expression was blank.

"Who's Zexion?" Zexion asked Demyx blankly. "And who are you?"

Demyx stared at Zexion in shock for a moment before collapsing into a chair next to him.

"What have I done?" Demyx muttered to himself.

"Well, whatever you did, it must have been pretty serious to have you looking like that," Zexion commented dryly, resuming his perusal of the stars.

Demyx shook himself, staring at Zexion. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Zexion looked at him blankly. "Nothing."

_Shit. _Demyx shifted his chair closer to Zexion's bed, sighing. "This is going to be quite a long story…"

-----((poor Demyx))-----

"So you're saying…" Zexion said slowly, "That my name is...Zexion, and I am a brilliant member of this…Organization, and you're…" he frowned, straining to remember his name.

"Demyx," Demyx supplied helpfully. "We…spend a lot of time together," he finished lamely. _I can't tell him we're…together, it'll scare him…_

"Right. Well, if you'll excuse me Demyx, I need to sleep for a while."

"Alright, Zexion, I'll see you in the morning!" he said with fake cheer as he stood up to leave. Once out the door, he put his hands over his eyes in frustration.

_The Superior is going to _murder_ me._

------------------

Just as he predicted, the next morning Demyx was called down early to breakfast to get an earful from the Superior about his 'actions.' 

"_From this moment, all of your missions consist of helping Zexion regain his memory. If you fail, I'll turn you into a Dusk."_

Demyx sighed as he idly stirred his eggs at breakfast. Deciding that he wasn't very hungry, he stood and began to head towards the Hospital Wing. _Might as well start now…_

Surprisingly, Zexion was not alone when he arrived.

"So, Marluxia…you're saying that I used to do _what_ with Demyx every Thursday?"

Marluxia smiled devilishly. "Why it's really very simple really. Demyx would go to the kitchen and get a carrot-"

"_Get out Marluxia."_ Demyx ground out, his ire rising.

Marluxia smiled innocently as he stood up to leave. "Why, I'm just helping you with your _mission_ Demyx!" he winked. "You never _know_ what could spark his memory!"

"It would help if what you told him was true," Demyx replied as Marluxia walked towards the door.

He turned at the door, smiling. "Oh, I know your secrets." He chuckled as he left the Hospital Wing. 

Demyx turned around to find a pleasantly confused Zexion staring at him. "Now, what did we do with this carrot that I should know about?"

"_Nothing._" Demyx said, pinking slightly. "Don't believe anything Marluxia says. He lies almost constantly."

Zexion raised an eyebrow, not sure if he should drop this matter regarding the carrot. However, Demyx cut him off, pulling out a book from his cloak. "Now, I brought something from your room that might spark your memory." 

He brandished the small gold book for Zexion's inspection. "You were reading this to me before you lost your memory," Demyx explained. "Maybe if I read it aloud to you it might spark something?"

Zexion nodded. "It might work. What's it called?"

"_Yours Until Dawn_," Demyx said hesitantly. Zexion raised an eyebrow but decided not to comment. Demyx opened to the page they left off on and continued to read. "_Her swallow was audible. 'Perhaps we'd best eat before you feel compelled to describe my undergarments.' 'That won't be necessary,' he replied in a tone as smooth as silk. 'You're not wearing any.'_"

Zexion cleared his throat loudly. "I have a question."

"…Yes?" Demyx said slowly.

"Are we dating?" 

Demyx almost fell out of his chair. _Well, he's definitely still as perceptive as he was before…_ "Why do you ask?"

"Why else would we be reading such a book together?" Zexion reasoned. When Demyx didn't reply, his gaze turned sharp. "Well?"

"Well….yeah, we're together."

"Oh." Zexion said quietly. "So have we…?"

Demyx nodded. Zexion smirked.

"So does that mean the carrot thing that Marluxia was telling me about was true?" 

Demyx blushed. "_No it does not!_" Zexion laughed at him.

"I'm only kidding," he said, "I'm starting to see why I liked you. You're cute." 

Demyx blushed harder. "Thanks." 

"This must be pretty difficult for you," Zexion commented. "How did I lose my memory, exactly?"

Demyx made a choking noise in the back of his throat. "That's quite an interesting story…"

"Do tell."

"You kinda…hit your head pretty hard on my headboard," he said sheepishly.

"_Really,_"Zexion said, smiling. "This must be _really_ difficult for you then."

Demyx nodded. "I'm sorry, it was all my fault."

"Since I can't remember, you are forgiven." Zexion's expression turned sly. "Demyx?"

"Hm?"

"Kiss me."

Demyx sputtered, his blush returning. "What?"

"Kiss me," Zexion repeated. "To regain my memory I have to do things I would do normally right? And that book isn't working, and I don't know anything about…Heartless, so kiss me."

Demyx looked away. "I don't know…"

Zexion reached for Demyx, turning his chin to lock eyes with him. "Please?"

Demyx closed his eyes and nodded. He stood up, leaning over Zexion on the bed before leaning in a pressing his lips against Zexion's lightly. He had intended it to be a quick, chaste kiss, but once he had begun he found that he couldn't stop. He pushed against Zexion forcefully, putting his hands out on either side of Zexion. However, Zexion was unprepared for this action and he was pushed backward, his already injured head hitting the wall. 

"Ouch!" Zexion cried out, grasping his head.

"I'm sorry, Zexion!" Demyx said hastily. _Dammit, I did it again!_

"It's alright, Demyx, I'll live. Although I can't remember for the life of me why I'm in the Hospital Wing…What happened?"

Demyx blinked. "You…remember?"

Zexion stared at him, puzzled. "Of course I do…why wouldn't I?" 

Demyx squealed happily, hugging him tightly. "You're back!"

Zexion patted his back awkwardly, still confused. "Did I miss something?"

Demyx smiled up at him. "It's an interesting story. I'll explain in detail later when you're out of here."

Zexion smiled. "Fair enough." He smirked down at Demyx. "Hey…What day is it?" he whispered.

"Thursday…why?"

Zexion smiled secretively. "No reason," he said winking. 

Demyx immediately flushed, turning away from Zexion. "Not until you're healed, Zexy."

----------------------------

haha. Carrot. Well that was quite random. I'm tired. 

R AND R MY LOVELIES!

Last one:_Rollercoaster._

"…_what do you do for a living?"_

"_I'm a housekeeper."_

freaky-hanyou


	67. Trickery: Zemyx

Ok so I realize that I have to update lots to make all the reviewers return

Ok so I realize that I have to update lots to make all the reviewers return. XD But. Let me say this first. :mutters: I _guess_ you can give me some Easter suggestions since I was MIA for St. Patties. Not 8 million! XD

AND for the carrot thing, I told Aranel ((idea source)) to name a random noun that was a food, and first she said pie which wouldn't have worked. And carrot was _perfect._ XD

AND I spent yesterday pulling out _all_ the freaking What Ifs from the reviews. It was a bitch. 8 pages of Word document. And Zesty, I remember you gave me a what if to replace the pool one thing (which I am doing anyway XD we don't renege _any_ what ifs do we? Hee!) but I cant remember which and tis bugging me. Oo I just found it. Nevermind. :innocence:

But yeah, even stupid what ifs will somehow be done. As much as I bitch. Although SOME I cant do until people explain. Like, Hyper Kid needs to tell me what the Inu complex is and Kerrilea needs to tell me what its like at her house. XD

BUT OMG STORY PIMPING TIME. IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING OF THE AN, MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS.

SO OMG. SOFRI. WROTE. A STORY FOR THIS AND YOU ALL HAVE TO READ IT.

Its called 'What Exactly' By Sofricus Aurora Zakuro. Wanna know what it is? Its what happened with the quarter, three sitar strings, and a stapler! WHICH IS AMAZING BECAUSE A.) I don't have to write it (seriously I had no idea, I was thinking like…stapler-launcher?) AND B.) ITS HILARIOUS. LOVE. GO READ IT.

Ahem. That is all. :spazz: This is one of those stories where I have no idea where its going. XD

**What If…**

_Marluxia knew that Demyx liked Zexion, and had an idea that Zexion_

_returned the feelings, so he tried to make Zexion jealous?_

_((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))_

Marluxia sighed as he slowly ate his bacon at breakfast. _This is nauseating,_ he thought as he idly watched Axel make obscene gestures at Roxas seated next to him. _I don't see how I'm supposed to be able to eat watching this. _As Marluxia tried to find something else to focus his attention on, he noticed that Demyx was staring at Zexion longingly through his peripheral vision.

Again.

Marluxia sighed, deciding that this was boring as well. _When is this kid going to give up?_ he thought, glancing up the table where the higher numbers resided. _There is no way _Zexion_ of all people—well, what do we have here?_ He looked incredulously at Zexion who was pointedly ignoring Demyx. However, every few seconds, Marluxia noticed that Zexion would glance over at Demyx, only to find hat he had either looked at Axel or down at his food. He would then sigh and return to conversation with those around him.

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. _Well _that's _suspicious…could Demyx's affections possibly be returned? This could use some looking into…But how to do it? _

Marluxia grinned secretively to himself as he began to tuck into his eggs, happy that he finally found something to do. _Oh dear Zexion, you are surely in for it now._

---------((wooo backstory))---------

By dinnertime, Marluxia had already mapped out his plan down to the hair follicle. He grinned devilishly as he strolled into the cafeteria, making a grand entrance for himself. Once he had everyone's attention, he strolled over to Demyx, smirking.

"Heya Demyx," he said, winking as he moved to his seat. Demyx stared at him disbelievingly, while Zexion raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

Partway into dinner, just as Demyx was engaging in casual conversation with Axel, he suddenly jumped and yelped loudly. He turned bright red, glaring at Marluxia.

"_What._ Are you doing." he ground out.

"Why, nothing," Marluxia said, flipping his hair and grinning, "just…_stretching._"

Demyx noticed that their incident was attracting the attention of those higher up the table, and, face turning redder, he began to eat his roast beef silently. Marluxia glanced up the table and saw that Zexion was glancing over at Demyx more than usual.

_Perfect._ Demyx suddenly jumped again, banging his knees into the bottom of the table. 

"Marluxia," he whispered loudly. "Move your foot."

"Why?" Marluxia said innocently, "Don't you like it _there_?" 

Demyx was silent once again, and hurriedly finished his dinner. Marluxia smiled, seeing that Zexion was now avidly watching Marluxia and Demyx. _Do I spy envy in his eyes? _Marluxia thought deviously as Demyx stood up and left quickly. 

_This is great._

Marluxia patiently waited for the perfect conditions for his next plan to be executed in. He calmly waited outside the cafeteria doors for the perfect opportunity. Finally, one day before breakfast, the opportunity presented itself. Everyone was already seated at the table except for himself and Demyx, who was running late. Marluxia grinned as he saw him arrive, walking briskly and not paying attention to his surroundings. As he entered hearing distance, Marluxia stuck out his foot between Demyx and the door.

"Good _morning,_ Demyx," Marluxia whispered, grinning as Demyx tripped through the door, landing safely in the cafeteria in Marluxia's arms as if he was just dipped tango-style with his face inches from Marluxia's.

Demyx spluttered as Marluxia slowly lifted him up, making a great show of dusting off his shoulders.

"He tripped," Marluxia said in his 'you-know-I'm-lying-to-cover-up-something-devious' voice.

Demyx said nothing, and immediately sat down to eat. Zexion sent death glares at Marluxia all throughout breakfast. 

Marluxia grinned as he set up his final scheme. _This is going to be the killer,_ he grinned mischievously as he stalked one of the corners of the hallway. _They're both on their way. _

"Marluxia? You said Zexion wanted to see me?" Demyx said as he appeared from the other side of the hallway.

"Why yes," Marluxia said, stepping in his way, "he's in the library. Although you might not want to go this way, Axel and Roxas have opened up a portal straight into Atlantica in the floor."

Demyx looked at him disbelievingly. "Why the hell should I believe you after all of your antics this week?" he said as he turned the corner. 

Marluxia heard a yelp and reached out, pulling Demyx away from his portal and pulling him against the wall. He stepped in front of him, grinning as he moved closer.

"You see Demyx?" he whispered softly, "I wasn't lying. I tell the truth sometimes you know. And I have a secret to tell…"

Demyx leaned away in protest, still panting from his near fall. "Marluxia, what-?"

"Demyx, you wanted to see me-Oh." Zexion said as he turned the opposite corner, alighting on what appeared to be an inappropriate moment. 

"Sorry," he said quickly, summoning a portal and disappearing.

Marluxia smiled as Demyx pushed him away, furious. "What the hell is going on Marluxia?!"

"I said I had a secret," Marluxia said, his smile growing wider, "Want to hear it?"

Demyx glared at him. "Why?"

"Oh no reason," Marluxia said casually, "it has something to do with one Cloaked Schemer of course. He likes you, you know."

Demyx's eyes widened. "He does not."

"I've been watching him all week," Marluxia countered, "and he's head over heels. You better go apologize." 

Demyx swore and disappeared into a portal. Marluxia smiled, closed his portal, and disappeared down the hall.

_Mission accomplished._

Demyx appeared in front of Zexion's door, exasperated. He put his hand to the door to knock, but hesitated, thinking. _What if Marluxia is lying? After all, he _has _been lying all week…_ He steeled himself, knocking. _I'm thinking about this too much._

"Come in."

Demyx hesitantly opened the door, seeing Zexion bent over his desk, staring at a paper. "Zexion, I-"

"What do you want, Number IX?" he asked, turned away from the door.

"I'm sorry about what you saw in the hallway, I-"

"There's no need to explain anything, IX. I understand perfectly," Zexion said in a clipped tone, turning around to face him.

"But he was-"

"Is that all, IX? Because I have to work on—"

"Will you just let me_finish?_" Demyx yelled, suddenly angry. "Marluxia was just being a dick and trying to make you jealous all week because he knows I have feelings for you!" Demyx clapped his hands over his mouth, face turning pink.

"He knows…what?" Zexion said, standing from his desk.

"Nothing," Demyx said, turning to leave.

"You have feelings for me?" Zexion asked slowly, grabbing hold of Demyx's shoulder and turning him around slowly.

"….Yes."

"Good," Zexion said, closing in for a fierce kiss. He pressed into Demyx closely, pushing him against the door as he rested his hands against it. Demyx gasped and wrapped his arms around Zexion's shoulders, shocked by the action. Zexion pulled back slightly, grinning.

"Well," he said softly, "_something_ had to get the ball rolling." 

"Does this mean that we actually _owe_ Marluxia?" Demyx asked half-jokingly.

Zexion smiled. "Not a chance," he said before pulling Demyx close for another kiss.

GAH! ITS DONE! I kept getting distracted and distracted and distracted and wow its 215 and I started this bugger at 1130. XD

Last one: Blind Date. Good job!

"_I would just __die__ without you. And the lovechild that I am secretly pregnant with from our impassioned tryst would be a __bastard__ because I had to go and dump __snow__ on your head…"_

freaky-hanyou


	68. Beware the Bunnies: XemnasSaix?

Ok so

Ok so. I am super tired at its quarter to 1. Leave it to Zesty to give me an Easter one shot. XD WHICH I don't want to ruin with my tiredness so I will ponder it during dinner tomorrow. XD BUT. During the Easter Vigil today I was thinking about the next what if, and it occurred to me. One of Kerrilea's craaaaaaaaazy what ifs could totally be rationalized if I put it under the easter heading.

So here we go. There's no real pairing for it, maybe AkuRoku I dunno I don't really have a plan yet. XD Maybe a bit of some Xemnas and Saix, not sure. ((After writing: Ok this is TOTALLY a Xemnas and Saix one. Beware. XD)) BUT

PEOPLE. I expected the drop from the double digit chapter reviews, but from 20 to 10 to 5!? I'm loving the symmetry and stuff, but seriously my buddies. Share the love.

XD Alright here's with the crazy, then Zesty's, then anyother easter brainstorms you get, THEN back to our regularly scheduled program. XD

And trust me, you're gonna read the what if and be like _what the hell._ but don't worry. It'll not be that spazztic. I shall try, it's a crazeh idea. (Kerrilea you can have some shitcrazy ideas in that bomb of 10 you gave me XD)

WHEE! This might be kind of short.

**What If…**

_an army of multicolored bunnies invaded the castle?_

_((as suggested by the darling Kerrilea))_

Xemnas sighed in contentment as he strolled down the hall towards his quarters. _Ahhh,_ he thought happily, _the hearts are being collected, missions are being completed, and no high school drama is occurring for once. It's so quiet…_

Xemnas paused and turned around, scanning the hallways for possible mischief. _It's too quiet, actually. What have Axel and Roxas been up to? They haven't earned any special Twilight Town Patrol in a while…_

As if on cue, Xemnas turned the corner and nearly plowed into Axel and Roxas, who had their heads bent over a piece of paper and were giggling softly. Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"Numbers VIII and XIII. What are you doing?" he asked sharply.

Axel smiled at him. "Nothing, sir," he said, brandishing the paper. "We're just looking over our Easter list of…_supplies…_for next week. Would you like to see what we need?" he asked, winking obviously. 

Xemnas turned and kept walking. "No, get to work," he said shortly before continuing. _Those two are acting far too innocent…_

--------(( I noticed stupid ffnet got rid of these if I didn't say something in them.))----

For a few days, Xemnas actually became accustomed to the quiet in the hallways and at mealtimes. As he walked to his bedroom with Saix, he groaned suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Saix asked, concerned. 

"Easter is in a few days…" he muttered darkly. Saix raised an eyebrow. "The Inferiors are going to use it as an excuse to be inappropriate all day," he said, sighing. 

Saix shrugged. "Maybe they've had a change of heart?"

Xemnas laughed at Saix's pun. "If only…"

-----((woo))----

The day before Easter, Xemnas stood up at the dinner table and cleared his throat to make an announcement. "As you all know, tomorrow is Easter. Tomorrow will be a normal day of missions, and I expect _everyone,_" he said, looking especially at Axel and Roxas, "to be on their best behavior. That is all."

"But sir," Axel said, standing up, "we haven't done _anything_ lately!"

Xemnas paused, raising an eyebrow at Axel's protest against authority. "Nevertheless, the announcement must be made." 

Axel sighed loudly and sat back down. Xemnas sat as well, thinking as he slowly continued to eat. _Maybe they really have changed their ways…_

Xemnas looked down the table and watched as Axel flung peas into Roxas' hair. He snorted.

_Impossible._

------((waiiit for it))-----

On Easter morning, Xemnas warily went down to breakfast, expecting that the walls of the cafeteria had been dyed pastel colors. However, he walked into a surprisingly civil scene. He glanced at Axel and Roxas, who were calmly eating their pancakes. 

Xemnas furrowed his eyebrows. _There doesn't seem to be anything wrong…_ he thought as he began to sit down in his chair. However, a loud squeak was heard and he stopped, looking on his seat.

Xemnas slowly lifted the hot pink rabbit from his chair, holding it up by the scruff of its neck. "You have three seconds for this to be removed from my sight," he said to the group, "or I burn it."

Demyx, not wanting to see the poor animal hurt, stood up hurriedly and took it, intending to release it safely in Twilight Town after breakfast. Axel and Roxas snorfled into their breakfasts, smiling.

Xemnas raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

------((waiiiiiit for it))------

Xemnas continued to be puzzled as he walked with Saix back to his living quarters. "That _couldn't _have been it," Xemnas thought out loud, "one little _rabbit?_ It's too tame."

Saix sighed as he grabbed Xemnas hand, stroking his palm with his fingers. "You're freaking out too much," he said reasonably.

"I have every right to," Xemnas protested, "I shouldn't have to expect the _windows_ to explode on any given day."

"That was pretty funny," Saix admitted, fondly remembering the day that Axel and Roxas made all the windows in Xemnas' room explode. It was raining pretty hard that day.

"It was not," Xemnas said sharply, "and I have every mind to avoid my room entirely for the rest of the day."

"That's ridiculous," Saix said reasonably. He paused as Xemnas stood in front of his door. "Well?"

"…I think I have to make a stop in the library," he said, continuing to walk.

"Don't be stupid," Saix said, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him against the door. "Do I need to give you…_incentive_ to go inside?" he said softly, brushing his lips against Xemnas' neck.

"Maybe," Xemnas replied stubbornly, looking away.

"As you wish," Saix grinned, kissing Xemnas softly, resting one hand on his waist. As Saix distracted Xemnas by kissing his jawline, his other hand reached for the doorknob, intending to slowly ease Xemnas towards the bed…

However, he was surprised that upon edging into his bedroom, both Nobodies tripped over a small fluffy object and fell into a pile of fluffy objects in a collapsed heap on the floor. Many loud squeaks were heard.

Xemnas untangled himself, confused. "What…?" He stood up and saw a living sea of turquoise, yellow, pink, and purple dyed bunnies. He summoned his weapons in anger, intending to cause bedlam.

"S-Superior," Saix started. Xemnas turned to face him. Saix only called him 'Superior' when he was afraid or when he was…well, _distracted._ "You wouldn't _kill_ all of these creatures?"

"Oh _no,_" Xemnas said viciously. "But I _do_ intend to castrate two _other_ creatures. Care to help?"

Saix laughed evilly. "With pleasure."

------((End?))------

Well that was….Very odd. XD I've never written a Xemnas/Saix before. Very odd indeed, miniscule plot as well.

Ah well. Betters tomorrows.

Last Episode: Snow

OMG ALL OF MY STORIES little ---- THINGS ARE GONE!! :snarls: I am not fixing them, because it's a waste of life and you people can figure out when they change, but STILL. WHAT THE HELL. GRRR.

"_Because I know what happens! I've seen the Christmas Story." _

freaky-hanyou


	69. The Egg Hunt: Soriku

HOMG HAPPEH EASTER MY DARLINGS

HOMG HAPPEH EASTER MY DARLINGS!! I knew you loved me. It just takes a while for people to check their emails and go OMGWTFUPDATE?! Eee I know the feeling.

So all of your reviews pretty much made my day my lovelies. haha and No, Akane, I am a humble human being, and if I'm smoking something I don't even know what it is. Although I did a shitload of fudge today. This could be fun. XD

Kiki you crazy, of course those count as What ifs and I would be delighted to write them. Granted, it might take a few years to get to, but it'll come. I think I'm working on ones from November….:checks: Yep. End of November.

AND regarding STUPID Ffnet and the dashes. I _reeeally_ don't want to go back to all my FLIPPING stories and add them back in with words. So from now on I'll just stick that mental note to put a word or two in. OH and hey. Darling OITL :sniggle: in your roman numeral example I thought you totally said 4/12 and 6/11 but then I looked at it and I'm like wait that's 4/11…but I simply cannot see the 8/13 in the VIXIXI XD I feel like an idiot. It did take me about 12 years to find the 4/11. :innocence: BTW REMIND ME TO UPDATE ON APRIL 11TH WITH A STORY IDEA OR I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO BEAT ME. XD

So we have an Easter update my DARLINGS! :sends love and chocolate to all: And I haven't really planned this, so you know. XD

**What If…**

_Sora put out an Easter egg hunt for Riku, with a _

'_special surprise' at the end?_

_((as suggested by the darling Zesty))_

Riku paused momentarily before knocking on his best friend's door. _I really hope he hasn't gone off the deep end for Easter just because his parents are out of town,_ he worried. _He shouldn't be too lonely, his brother Roxas is still there…_

"_RIKU!_" The flying brown and blue dart cried before tackling Riku to the ground and kissing him hard. It pulled back, smiling. "I have such a fun Easter planned for us!"

Riku smiled, chuckling at his stupidity. _What am I thinking. Sora? Lonely? That would be the apocalypse._ "So what fun things are planned, exactly?" he asked.

"Oh I dunno.." Sora said, getting up and dragging Riku inside. "You're just going to have to find out!"

"Can't you just tell me?" Riku said mock exasperatedly as Sora covered his eyes with his hands. "Sora!"

"Come on, it's Easter!" Sora giggled. "Just led me lead you to the designated area of fun!"

"Only you would designate a special area for 'fun'," Riku said dryly. Suddenly, his eyes were uncovered and a basket was thrust into his arms. "Wha-?"

"Find the eggs! There are 12! I'll see you later!" Sora said as he ran away out of sight.

Riku sighed loudly. _And here I actually had a glimmer of hope that Easter fun included sex…_ He gave in and slowly began hunting for eggs throughout the living room and kitchen. Eight of them were simple to find, hidden in plain view. The other four were harder to find. He found one in the freezer, one in the sink, and one under the mattress. He was still unable to find the last one, twenty minutes later.

_This is stupid…_ Riku thought, grumbling. Suddenly, Riku noticed an egg-shaped shade of pink peeking out from the side of a lamp in the living room. He grinned to himself, picking up the final egg.

_Now, how did I miss that?_ he wondered, as he sat down on the living room floor and unpopped the tops of the plastic eggs. A slew of small sheets of paper fell out, each with an individual letter upon them. Riku spread them out on the floor, reading:

'_L U O P S T O A R K I S'_

Riku blinked. _A word scramble? I suck at these. _He sat there for a few minutes, before he finally unscrambled the word 'Look.' This left:

'_U A P I S R T S'_

_Look Trip? _He mused. _That's too many verbs…This has to be one word. _Suddenly, he got an idea. He walked over to Sora's computer and pulled up his favorite unscrambling website, AnagramSite. He typed in the letters, and the word '_Upstairs'_ stared back at him.

Riku grinned to himself. _I'm an idiot._ Still smirking, he ran up the stairs to Sora's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Password?"

Riku stared at the door, puzzled. "Password…but the note said-"

"_Password?"_ was the reply.

Riku glared. "All the note said was 'Look Upstairs!'"

"You may enter."

Riku rolled his eyes at the door. _Only Sora…_ Riku slowly opened the door, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light.

"Now what do we have here?" he asked huskily, staring at the pink boxer-clad Sora who lay on the bed, waiting for him. His boxers had a soft white cotton ball pinned to the back, which he proudly displayed as he lay on his side.

"Took you long enough," Sora said, grumbling. "I was starting to fall asleep…"

Riku snorted. "If you wanted it quicker, you should have just said, 'Hey Riku! How are you? Let's have sex!' Not make me go through some crazy egg hunt to come up here!" he said a bit harshly. Sora winced.

"I thought you'd like it…" he said, slightly hurt.

Riku berated himself silently. "Of course I did, dummy," he said, crawling on the bed and pulling Bunny!Sora into his arms. "It's one of the things that you do best…"

"What's that?" Sora asked quietly.

"Make mischief fun and exciting to the point of insanity." Riku replied, smiling devilishly. He pulled Sora closer, whispering, "It makes you even more appealing…"

Sora inhaled sharply as Riku began to nibble on his ear. "Riku…"

"What?" he asked, "The note said 'Look Upstairs'… And I do believe I found my prize waiting right here… What should I do with it?" he teased, running his hand up and down Sora's chest.

"I-I don't know…" Sora replied shakily.

"Oh I think you do," Riku replied smoothly, shifting so that he was lying securely atop Sora. "And I think you can't _wait…_" he continued, kissing Sora softly. Sora gasped as Riku pushed himself against him tightly, running his hand up and down Sora's arm while stroking his cheek.

"R-Riku…"

Suddenly, the door clattered violently, with muffled curses being heard behind it.

"Dammit, Riku!" one voice cursed.

"It's not working Axel," another voice replied smoothly, "let's just go to my room and pretend this never happened."

"_Fine,_" the other voice replied, stomping away. "We'll get them back _later._"

Sora looked up into Riku's eyes, his own shining with happiness. "You locked the door?" he whispered admiringly.

Riku smiled warmly. "Of course I did. We wouldn't want any…_interruptions,_ would we?" he replied, closing in for another kiss.

--((END!))--

BWAHAHAHA. I love how I can just never resist having Axel and Roxas interrupt _anything._ It's like, a theme. That, romance novels, and kinky Zexion. XD

…ffnet wont even let me _edit_ anything anymore, wtf.

R AND R MY EASTER DARLINGS!

Last one: Pole. XD

"_New game! Let's play Dare or…__Dare!"_

freaky-hanyou


	70. Another New Form: AkuRoku

:kicks ffnet:

:kicks ffnet:

If you notice, ffnet repeats every first sentence above. and I cant delete it. Little bitch. SO ANYWAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE FOR CENTURIES! :excited:I was struck with inspiration for it.

But seriously people. Please please _PLEASE_ no more girl suggestions! Trust me. There will be a point in the list that _every damn person_ is a girl. It'll happen. XD And its such fun seeing new reviewers! :waves:

And there are TWO Akanes reading this story. Confusing? Yes. Akane A, those movieshilarious. The Zexion singing the girlfriend song made my century and spurred me to watch the stupid files again. And WOW Jextia, I DO end everything with smex. XD its amazing.

So I am so excited for this. BE READY MY LOVES! I want a High Score on this. XD

**What If…**

_Vexen and Marluxia combined their talents to create a potion_

_that causes the drinker to switch genders, _

_and decide to test it on Axel?_

_((as suggested by the darling OnlyinthisLight and later by the equally darling Kigichi))_

Marluxia sighed loudly as he strolled into his bedroom. _I'm so bored,_ he thought dully as he walked to his dresser, _there is nothing to do around here anymore…_

He glanced at his picture of Vexen by his mirror and grinned. _Of course, there's always some_one_ to do around here, but…_ he trailed off, noticing a bright pink spray bottle next to it.

Marluxia grinned evilly. _Perhaps I should pay our dear Chilly Academic a visit…_

--((dun dun DUN!))--

Marluxia leered at Vexen as he leaned against the wall by the stairs, keeping silent as he watched the scientist pore over his labs.

"Find something interesting, Number XI?" Vexen asked without looking up.

Marluxia grinned. "Oh, you're calling yourself a thing now Vexen? How intriguing…" Marluxia invited himself to sit in Vexen's desk chair.

Vexen pinked slightly. "What do you want, Marluxia?"

"Nothing at the moment," Marluxia said innocently. "I would just like your word that you won't interfere with my latest business venture."

"Business venture?" Vexen snorted. "So that's what you're calling it these days?"

Marluxia winked. "I could call it whatever you want…So do you promise?"

"Fine," Vexen said, waving him away, "As long as I don't have to do anything."

"Perfect."

--((oh dear))--

Marluxia grinned to himself as he spotted Axel and Roxas walking down the hallway he had stationed himself in. _Target sighted,_ he thought to himself as he began walking down the hallway in the other direction.

"Boys," he greeted casually as they met in the hallway.

Axel stopped in his tracks, turning. "Boy?!" he said incredulously. "I am no boy!"

Marluxia smirked as Roxas tried to calm Axel down, but to no avail. _This is too easy. _he thought, reentering the conversation.

"Let's just go-"

"_No!_ He's perpetually a cocky bastard and he finally needs to be taught a lesson!"

"How about if I teach _you_ one?" Marluxia replied. As Axel looked up in anger, a pulled out the bright pink spray bottle and sprayed him full in the face.

"No!" Roxas cried out as he realized what Marluxia did, reaching to slow Axel's descent onto the cold hallway tile.

Marluxia grinned and disappeared into a portal as Roxas yelled after him.

--((the fun is just beginning my friends))--

Axel slowly opened his eyes as he came to in his bedroom. "What…?" he said aloud, his mind slowly replaying what happened.

"Axel," Roxas said calmly from his place next to Axel on the bed, "The important thing right now is not to panic."

"Panic?" Axel repeated, his mind clearing. "Why would I have reason to pa-" he paused as he shifted, his eyes widening.

"Penis?" he said quietly, sitting up and running his hands up and down himself. "Roxas….where the _fuck_ is my _penis?!"_ He blindly reached out for Roxas' hand, gripping it tightly.

"What _happened?"_

"You're a girl." Roxas stated, pausing to let Axel take it in. "Marluxia sprayed that stupid shit on you to make you female. I had to drag your ass all the way down the hall to your room."

Axel breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. "Do I look different?"

Roxas tried not to snort aloud. _Hell if he doesn't look damn sexy…_ he thought as he gave Axel a once over. Granted, he wasn't as curvy as Roxas was when he was female, but his layered shoulder length spikes and naturally lined eyes definitely made up for it. "Let me put it this way," Roxas said slowly, "I could see what a pain it was for you to keep your hands off me when I was a girl."

Axel grinned. "I'm that sexy!" He said, leaping out of his bed and bowling Roxas over. "I've got to change into something!" Axel said, stripping down to his boxers.

"Woah," Roxas said, staring at a topless female!Axel from his spot on the bed.

"What?" Axel said, turning to the mirror. "Oh…So I look _good?_" Axel said, grinning.

Roxas paused. "_Damn_ good," he replied.

Axel frowned at him. "You hesitated! You think I'm ugly don't you!" he concluded, sitting on the ground Indian-style, near tears.

Roxas blinked. "The hell?" he said, standing up and sitting down next to Axel. "I paused because I was _speechless,_ you dumbass."

"Don't call me a dumbass!" Axel wailed.

"Sorry!" Roxas flinched as he soothingly ran his hand up and down Axel's back to calm him down. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know…" Axel trailed off. "I just feel a little moody…Hey! Roxy…"

"What…" Roxas said warily.

"While I change would you mind going to the kitchen and getting me some chocolate?"

Roxas nodded wordlessly as he was pushed out the door towards the kitchen. _What is he pregnant or something? He couldn't be, we haven't even had sex today…_

As Roxas neared the refrigerator, an ear-piercing scream was heard from the vicinity of Axel's bathroom. The chocolate was forgotten as Roxas quickly summoned a portal to Axel's room.

--((Here's where it gets good my friends))--

Roxas arrived in Axel's room to find Axel curled in the fetal position on his floor near the bathroom.

"Such…pain…." he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, concerned. Axel wordlessly pointed to the bathroom, stunned.

"I'm…_bleeding_ out my….my…"

Suddenly Roxas understood. _Oh shit. _"I'll go get Larxene," he said, summoning a portal.

--((poor poor Axel))--

"Why in hell would I give _you_ of all people some of my maxi pads?!" Larxene said irritably, interrupted from her video gaming session.

"Because…I need them." Roxas said lamely.

"Psh, some reason," Larxene said, unpausing her game, "you're probably making a piñata or something…"

"It's important!" Roxas said forcefully, causing Larxene to pause her game and raise an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Well…Axel got turned into a girl and he…he…"

Larxene burst out into laughter. "Say no more!" she said, standing up and going to her dresser. "I will give you this pack of pads if you do my laundry for a month."

Roxas winced. "Deal," he said, and summoned a portal back to Axel's room.

--((wooo))--

"You _owe_ me," Roxas said as he returned to find Axel in the same position he left him in. "Look," he said sympathetically, "we'll figure this out. First, you need to put one of these on…"

"On where?" Axel muttered.

Roxas thought for a long while. "…I'll be right back," he said, summoning another portal.

--((XD))--

"And what makes you think I have a pair of Larxene's panties lying around?" Marluxia said, smirking.

"Look, this is your fault," Roxas said, blushing, "just give me a pair, okay?"

"What do I get out of it?"

"You get to keep your balls, just give me the fucking panties!"

"But what if I tell Axel you came looking for them?" he said, feigning shock, "What will he think?"

Roxas glared. "Laundry for a month."

"Deal," Marluxia said, handing over a pair of bright purple panties.

--((XD))--

"You _really_ owe me," Roxas said upon his return, throwing the panties at Axel. When Axel raised an eyebrow, Roxas shook his head. "Do. Not. Ask. Just put them on, and put that…_thing_ on it."

"How?"

"There has to be directions on the bag….doesn't it just stick?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Let's figure this out…"

--((20 minutes later))--

"This is _so_ uncomfortable," Axel grumbled as he changed into his pajamas. "I'm going to have a wedgie for a week…"

Roxas hesitated as Axel crawled into his bed. "Are you…okay?"

"My abdomen feels like someone is making origami out of it," he said, gritting his teeth. Roxas looked scandalized.

"How?"

"I don't _know_ it just does!" he snapped. Roxas stepped back and put his hands out in a placating gesture. "Sorry," Axel apologized, opening his arms out to Roxas and waiting for him to join him in bed. "I don't know how women function like this…."

"Don't let Larxene hear you say that, she'll start demanded her 'Time of the Month' off from work!"

"I need off, that's for damn sure…I don't think I'm going to be moving anytime soon. Want to keep me company?" Axel murmured, pulling Roxas closer.

"I don't see why not," Roxas replied, "Seeing as you can't rape me in my sleep…"

"Hey! I take offense to that. Besides, it's not considered rape if both parties are willing."

"True," Roxas said, "How about you get some sleep so you'll feel better?"

"Good idea. You won't leave me?"

"I might," Roxas said, "but I'll be back before you wake up.

"…Alright," Axel said, already halfway off to dreamland.

--((totally almost forgot this crucial part of the story))--

Roxas summoned a portal directly into Vexen's lab, Keyblade at the ready. He charged straight up to Vexen, aiming his Keyblade at the Academic's throat.

"You have three seconds to give me the green spray bottle with the antidote for the gender switch. _Go._"

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas…" Vexen said, shaking his head. "I promised I wouldn't get involved…"

"I don't give a fuck. Hand it over."

"I don't have it."

"Who does?"

Vexen raised an eyebrow. "Who do you think?"

Roxas swore and summoned a portal.

--((everyone guess now!))--

Roxas sighed loudly as he entered Marluxia's room. "What do you want for it Marluxia?"

"Now Roxas, I wasn't aware I was selling sexual favors today…"

Roxas glared. "For the antidote, bastard."

"Oh, that…I won't give it to you," Marluxia said, grinning.

Roxas growled. "Laundry for two extra months."

"Deal," Marluxia said, handing over the spray bottle.

--((hee!))--

Roxas returned to Axel's room to find the Nobody still fast asleep. _Thank god…_He took out the green spray bottle and sprayed it straight in Axel's face.

_Hopefully he'll wake up back to normal now,_ Roxas thought before crawling into bed with Axel and falling asleep.

--((wo0t))--

Roxas awoke to cheering and loud noises.

"_Roxas! _I'M A MAN AGAIN!!" Axel cried, hefting up Roxas and spinning him around the room. "You fixed me didn't you?!"

"I did," Roxas said as he was set down on the ground before he was kissed fiercely.

"Oh man, Rox, I owe you one. Or two. Or a million. How about I just start by giving you the best sex you've ever had?" he said, stepping closer to Roxas and grinning devilishly.

Roxas smiled dryly. "How about you start by helping me do Marluxia and Larxene's laundry this month?"

--((END!))--

Sorry there wasn't a lot of make out age in that one. It didn't come out as amazing as I thought it would. Huh. Go figure.

It is definitely 3 in the AM. Go me. XD

Last one: The Closet

"_I've got something else to eat," he said, winking, as a scandalized Demyx began to choke on his own food._

freaky-hanyou


	71. Payback: AkuRoku

Repeated Sentence

Repeated Sentence! ahha alright now. Children, I wasn't exaggerating when I said EVERY MAN will become a girl in this series. Its in the list. XD haha and OITL your OMGBBQ made me giggle. And DorkFace! (hah that sounds insulting, sorry girl) do you think. for your what if, I could have Roxas sing it? I think I'd be able to work it better that way. Up to you.

I totally haven't been updating because I've been obsessed with playing SuperSmashBros on Wii. :innocence:

XD This one should be fun. Look at the small Authors Note! XD Oh yeah. There's a plot whole I don't care to fix in the last chapter. Want to know what it is?

Axel changed back into a man wearing women's underwear. :sniggle:

**What If…**

_Zexion and Demyx got back at Axel and Roxas for their_

'_interruptions' by tormenting them in their relationship?_

_((as suggested by the darling Zesty))_

"See Zexy?" Demyx asked conversationally as the pair arrived in Zexion's room, "I told you swimming would grow on you! Don't you like it?" he continued as he toweled off his hair.

Zexion stared at Demyx's still damp chest as he spoke. "Oh yes. Very much." Demyx looked over at him and saw where he was staring. He blushed.

"Zexy, eyes up!" he said, giggling.

"Why?" Zexion asked devilishly, coming closer to Demyx, "We've both finished our missions today…"

"So what do you want to do?" Demyx asked softly as Zexion ran a hand through Demyx's hair.

"Oh I don't know," Zexion said, eyes closing as he moved in to kiss Demyx, "my handcuffs have been looking a little rusty…"

"Zexion…" Demyx whispered, eyes closing as well.

"THERE YOU ARE DEMYX!" Axel cried as he kicked in the door. Roxas smiled as he reluctantly followed Axel inside.

Demyx sighed loudly. "Hi Axel."

"You busy?" Axel said, winking. "My bad," he said as he stepped back, "I'll just talk to you at dinner. Later!" He then dragged Roxas out the door and shut it behind them.

"So…where were we?" Demyx asked hopefully.

Zexion sighed. "The moment has been lost…Those two…" he grumbled. "They really need to stop doing that."

"You know," Demyx said, eyes glinting, "They aren't going to be stopped until they're taught a lesson…"

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "What are you implying, exactly?"

Demyx grinned. "That we school them in their own game, of course. Here's the plan…"

--((wo0t))--

Axel snickered as he and Roxas entered his bedroom. "That never gets old," he said, wrapping his arms around Roxas' waist.

"Someone has to get wise eventually," Roxas reasoned as he was led to Axel's bed. "Karma demands that something has to happen."

"Aw fuck Karma," Axel said as he pushed Roxas back onto the bed. "And you too, while I'm at it…"

Roxas laughed as Axel moved to kiss him softly.

"Hey Axel, do you have any-Oh shit, sorry!" Demyx said as he walked into Axel's room.

"It's alright," Axel said, mildly perturbed. "What did you need?"

"Staples…"

Axel stared at him. "Aren't there some in the supply closet?"

Demyx nodded. "Right! Thanks!" He shut the door behind him.

Axel turned to Roxas slowly. "What was that?"

Roxas looked at him gravely. "They're catching on to us," he said forebodingly.

Axel shook his head. "Doubt it. I laugh in the face of danger!"

"You're crazy," Roxas muttered as the dinner bell rang. "Let's eat," he continued as me moved to get off the bed.

"Don't mind if I do," Axe said, pushing Roxas back down on the bed and closing in on his lips…

"Roxas, are you in here?" Zexion said, opening the door and finding the two on the bed. "Oh, sorry, Nevermind…"

"No, that's fine, what is it Zexion?" Roxas said, pushing a stunned Axel off of him with an 'I-told-you-so' glare.

"I just wanted to talk to you about our next mission on the way to dinner."

"Sure," he replied as he stood to follow.

Axel shook his head in amazement as he followed the two out for dinner. _I can't be wrong…Can I?_

--((fuck yes you can Axel. A FEW DAYS LATER))--

Axel smiled as he shut the door of his room behind Roxas with a resounding 'click.'

"Want to know something special about today, Roxy?" Axel said, pushing Roxas down on the bed.

"Hmmm…" Roxas said, pretending to think, "maybe Zexion and Demyx are going to let us have sex for the first time this week?"

"Oh yes," Axel said, grinning, "Because I bought a _lock_ for the door." He laughed evilly. "They can't stop us now!"

"I'm not too sure about that…" Roxas thought aloud as Axel laid atop of him.

"Oh just stop talking already," he muttered, moving to kiss Roxas.

"Hey guys!" Demyx called as he opened the door. "Want to play poker with us? Oh! I'm sorry! You're busy! We'll come back later…"

"No that's alright, Demyx, we'll be right there…" Axel said, sighing as he stood up. Roxas glared at him as he followed suit, giving him the 'It's-_your-_fault-we-won't-be-having-sex-this-year' look.

Demyx smiled widely, leaving the two alone. "I thought you said you _locked the door?_" Roxas said, glaring.

"I did!" Axel said, confused.

Demyx chuckled evilly as he put his bobby pin safely back into his pocket, waiting for Axel and Roxas to emerge.

--((later that week))--

Axel chuckled evilly as he walked with Roxas down the hallway to his room. Roxas raised an eyebrow as his chuckles slowly became louder.

"I knew it," he said, "the lack of sex has finally gone to your head…"

"No it hasn't," he said as he stopped near Demyx's room. He looked up and down the hall, making sure the coast was clear. Then, he swung open the door of the closet next to Demyx's room and pushed Roxas inside, following and shutting the door behind them with a snap.

"Axel. Why are we in a closet."

"To have sex!" Axel said gleefully.

"But now we're locked in here!"

"Exactly," Axel said, grinning, as he wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist.

"I'll be right there Zexy!" Demyx called as he opened the door, "I just need to get…the…bucket…I just keep running into you two everywhere don't I?" Demyx said cheerily.

"Tell me about it," Axel said, defeated, as he walked down the hall.

--((I love this.))--

Roxas sighed dejectedly as he walked down the hall by himself. _This is madness,_ he thought as he neared his bedroom. _At this rate, we're not going to be able to have sex until Christmas…_

He opened the door, prepared to write his long Heartless report he had due the next morning. His jaw dropped when he saw a red flame boxer-clad Axel spread out on his bed, grinning devilishly.

"Hello my dear Roxy…"

Roxas paused and turned, sticking his head out into the hallway. _Clear!_ He thought as he returned to the matter at hand. "How'd you swing this one? We haven't even been able to kiss before being interrupted!" he said, half expecting Demyx or Zexion to walk in at any moment.

"I apologized," Axel said simply as his grin grew wider. "We're free!"

Roxas hesitantly came closer. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. The only question left is are you ready for the best sex this lifetime?"

Roxas smiled. "I think I'm game," he said, crawling on the bed and tentatively pressing his lips to Axel's. _Hmmm…no interruptions,_ Roxas thought happily as he intensified the kiss, wrapping one hand in Axel's hair while the other trailed down his chest.

Axel groaned as Roxas grew bolder, tracing his abdomen with feather light caresses. Roxas smirked as he trailed kisses to his collarbone. _I've missed this…_

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Axel said.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Roxas muttered distractedly.

"It looks like you're making out with a broom."

"What?" Roxas said, blinking. Below him was a slim white broom with bright red bristles. Roxas recoiled, spitting all over it. "Ugh, I need to brush my teeth," Roxas said, blushing profusely as he stood up and went into his bathroom. Axel doubled over in laughter.

"What the hell were you doing?" he said between breaths and snickers.

"I'm going to _murder_ Zexion," Roxas said after he brushed his teeth. "This has gone on too long! You're coming with me and we're apologizing."

"But-"

"_Now._"

--((To Demyx's room!))--

Demyx continued to laugh as Zexion told him the events that transpired in Roxas' room.

"You had him make out with a _broom?_" Demyx said in hysterics. "Oh man, that is great!"

"They'll be here soon," Zexion said, "I think that might have been the last straw for Roxas."

As if on cue, knocking was heard at that moment.

"I really don't think this merits us apologizing," Axel's voice said beyond the door.

"Do you want to make out with a plunger next?" Roxas said irritably.

Demyx chuckled. "Come in!"

Roxas dragged a still-reluctant Axel into the room, still blushing slightly.

"Yes?" Demyx asked.

"We are very sorry for constantly interrupting your make out sessions," Roxas said. He looked over at Axel, glaring.

"Yeah, we won't do it again," he said unconvincingly.

"Is that a promise?" Zexion said. "Because if it isn't, I could see to it personally that you _accidentally_ lose your ability to procreate."

Axel shuddered. "I promise!"

"Good. You can have sex now."

Axel squealed with delight and scooped Roxas off the ground, leaving a comical cloud of dust behind them.

Demyx snickered. "Could you really put up an illusion that they were castrated?"

Zexion grinned. "For a few days. I'm very proficient with many types of illusions you know."

Demyx giggled. "I know. I especially enjoyed the one where you put us on a pirate ship and chained me to-"

"Shhh! Demyx," Zexion said, blushing, "someone could be listening."

"So?" Demyx said, grinning, "Let them hear. So where shall we go today?" he continued, winking.

Zexion smiled softly. "Wherever you want."

--((END!))--

I lurved that one. XD You folk better show the love.

Last one: The Misunderstanding. Good job! This one could be difficult:

"_Number IX! What are you doing in this part of the castle?!"_

freaky-hanyou


	72. The Underwear: Cleon

Repeated Sentence

Repeated Sentence! OMG MY CHILDREN. IF YOU READ NOTHING IN THIS AUTHORS NOTE READ THIS. :contradictory: **THIS BE IMPORTANT. XD** So holy business, I was watching the Stupid Files again yesterday, and.

I thought of a story idea. Go figure right? But no! This is different! IT'S A CHAPTER FIC! (If I didn't split it up it would be like one bitchass of a oneshot) ME! CHAPTER! FIC! OMG! RIGHT? OMGBBQWTF! lol. I don't want to list any details, and I don't even know if someone did this already cuz the search isn't working again. but.

What do you folk think? I want to write this, but no doubt its going to affect this story. I'd have to alternate like, WhatIf, story, what if, story, maybe a random oneshot, what if, etc. SO. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! Oh yeah. Itd be a Soriku, but thered be a teeeeeny bit of Riku/Leon!? in it. XD I don't think this could get that long. AND! I might be dabbleing in lemons for this. XD Help me train for the Older Kids What ifs.

And if you want to try and figure out my idea I was watching KH Stupid File numero 12. XD

EEEEEEEEEEE. This one has the potential to be good. XD

**What If…**

_Aerith dared Leon to steal some of_

_Cloud's underwear, and he got caught?_

_((as suggested by the darling Reverse the Riddles))_

Yuffie laughed as Aerith went downstairs to the main floor of her apartment complex. She poked her head out the window, giving her a perfect view of the lobby two floors down.

"There is _no_ way she's going to do this—"

"Shuttup Yuffie," Leon said, "It's only a dare-"

"But it's _Aerith!"_

"Shuttup the lot of ya or we're gonna miss it!" Cid said with finality in his tone.

"_**PENIS!"**_

Yuffie and Leon burst into hysterics as Aerith bolted for the stairs. Cid shook his head. "No matter how old you kids get that never gets old…"

"Because it's brilliant!" Yuffie exclaimed, giving Leon a high five!

The door suddenly slammed open and Aerith stomped in, face flushed in embarrassment.

"Never. _Again._" she said, sitting down. The pair burst out into laughter again. "It's not funny," Aerith mumbled, "I scared the hell out of the sweet old couple that lives next door…"

Leon laughed harder, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. "Even better! They know about your 'dark side' now…" He feigned horror.

"Alright, pretty boy," Aerith said, twitching, "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." He said, arching his eyebrows in challenge.

Aerith thought for a moment before her expression turned evil. She grinned. "I dare you, to go across the hall to Cloud's apartment-"

"But Cloud's at sparring practice…" Leon said in confusion.

"I'm not finished!" Aerith said, continuing, "And go into his bedroom, and bring us back a pair of the sexiest underwear you can find."

Yuffie guffawed as Leon's jaw dropped. "That's cruel."

"Paybacks a bitch," she replied calmly before glancing at the clock, "you better get going if you want to get there before he does," she said, handing him a key.

Leon swore as he stood up and was out of the apartment in a flash. Cid stared at Aerith incredulously. "You really are evil aren't you?"

"Evil is in the eye of the beholder!" she said, giggling.

--((tick tock!))--

Leon tentatively walked into Cloud's apartment. _I've been in here thousands of times, why does it seem so wrong now? Oh I know,_ he thought dryly, _maybe its because I have to go steal my best friends underwear…_

He paused as he entered Cloud's bedroom. _Never been in here before…_ He tentatively looked around, making his way towards the dresser. _I wish Cloud was here…wait! Did I just think that? _he wondered, _Cloud's my best friend! Why would I want him to help me pick out his sexiest underwear? _He sighed. _There's something wrong with me…_

Leon closed his eyes as he slowly pulled open the top drawer of Cloud's dresser. Opening them a crack, he saw a pile of underwear innocently folded in its space. _I guess I thought it would jump out at me,_ he shrugged, _Let's see here…_

Once Leon got the drawer open, he found that it was remarkably easy to rummage through his best friends underwear. _This risk is such fun its almost criminal,_ he thought smirking to himself. _What's this? _he thought as he reached the bottom of a pile of boxers. _Could it be…?_

Leon pulled a white thong adorned with pink hearts out of the dresser. He snickered to himself. _This is brilliant, Cloud will never hear the end of—_

"Leon?"

Leon froze as Cloud stared at him incredulously.

_**Fuck.**_

--((oh noes! Let's back up a bit. :hits slide button: ))--

Cloud sighed contentedly as he approached his apartment. _Excellent workout will be followed shortly by a long shower,_ he thought happily as he moved to unlock his door. His brows furrowed as he saw that it was already open.

_Did Aerith get something?_ he wondered as he tentatively stepped into his apartment. He heard rustling coming from his bedroom.

He stealthily made his way to his bedroom, peering in cautiously. He saw Leon across the room at his dresser, rummaging through something.

"Leon?" Cloud asked questioningly as he walked into his room. Leon turned, the thong held up in both of his hands.

Cloud stared at him, blushing four different shades of red. "What are you doing?" he asked, mortified.

Leon looked down and saw what he was holding. He dropped the offending underwear as if it burned him. "Cloud! I was-I just…Sorry!" he stuttered, making his way speedily to the door.

Cloud put his arm across the doorway, effectively blocking the exit. "You were _what?_"

"I was…looking through your underwear."

"I figured that much out," he said dryly. _Is he serious?_ "When did you become a panty thief?"

Leon blushed. "I am not! Aerith dared me to steal your sexiest pair of underwear!"

Cloud chuckled. "Wow, Leon, I didn't know your taste in underwear was so…_risqué._"

Leon snorted. "Like you should talk. Pink hearts? What, do you frequent a strip club?" Cloud remained silent. "Besides…" Leon muttered before stopping himself.

"What?" Cloud asked, eager to somehow get out of this awkward banter.

"I was going to say that I thought _Aerith_ would find that underwear sexy," Leon muttered, blushing again, "I personally prefer a nice pair of boxers—"

"Boxers?" Cloud asked, raising an eyebrow. "On a _woman?_"

Leon sputtered, turning even redder. "I mean-I…yeah." he finished lamely.

"Right," Cloud said without sincerity. "Well, Aerith is probably thinking you had an aneurism or something over here…" he said, "you should take those undies and get over there."

Leon nodded, awkwardly picking up the thong from the ground and walking towards the door.

"Oh and Leon?" Cloud asked. Leon turned at the doorway to Cloud's bedroom.

"You're welcome to come see _any_ of my boxers you'd like," he said, winking. "And they don't have to be in the drawer, if you catch my drift…"

Leon swore his face would never be his normal complexion again. "I'll be back later," he muttered before speeding out the door.

--((END!!))--

HEEE! That one wasn't that bad for a Cleon. XD After this one we start the long line of Kerrilea's suggestions! XD

Let me know what you think about my chapter!story!

Last one: Alone in the Castle. You guys are getting good! Have to make it harder…This one's kinda easy. XD

"_So…Do __you__ have any injuries that need…_wrapping?"

freaky-hanyou


	73. The Internet: Zemyx

:dramatic sigh: I am sad about the reviewage

:dramatic sigh: I am sad about the reviewage. Roxas is sad too. I was planning on releasing him soon you know. -.- I dunno what to do! XD I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be hell on earth for me, so I'm updating now.

SO PEOPLE. IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, (by some hit count I can tell that you didn't XD) I BEGAN A CHAPTER STORY. XD I wanted to update that actually, cuz the first chapterprologueTHING is freakish to the short, but. I figured I could broadcast/whoreselflessly via this chapter. XD

Its called Coin Operated Boy and it's a Soriku with future AkuRoku. It was going to have Cleon, but I changed the characters after a long thought. Luckily, this idea has only been done as a KairiRoxas with an Absolute Boyfriend feel, which is kinda disturbing.

But ANYWAY, I have never written a KH chapter fic before, so check it out! (I totally wrote the ending already XD)

Alright darlings, one crizazy What if coming up! Onemoreparadise, penis makes me laugh too. XD Axure, you're damn right that staples was a reference to Sugar. XD

**What If…**

_Roxas had to explain the basics of the internet to Demyx?_

_((as suggested by the darling Kerri))_

Demyx stared blankly at the new technological advancement on his desk. To Demyx, the object looked dark and foreboding. Granted, that could be because it was off, but nevertheless Demyx still decided that this 'computer' was unnecessary in his bedroom.

_Why the hell do I need one of these anyways? Zexion doesn't even need one that often. There are plenty in the library…He should be here soon to teach me about this thing. Hopefully we'll get something done!_ he thought, grinning to himself as he sat on his bed.

_We could always get other things done…_As dirty thoughts flew unbidden from his memory, there was a knock heard on his door.

"Come in!" Demyx called, smirking. "Hey sexy-_Roxas?_" Demyx finished, surprised.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that I had a new nickname," he replied. Demyx blushed. "Zexion sent me here to teach you about the computer, he has a report to finish by tonight," Roxas explained.

Demyx nodded in understanding. "So," he said as Roxas beckoned him to the computer, turning it on and sitting in the chair, "What's so special about this thing?"

"I suppose the most interesting aspect would be the Internet," Roxas said thoughtfully as the desktop loaded.

"What's that?" Demyx asked curiously.

"You'll see," Roxas said mysteriously. "How often have you used the computers in the library?" he asked.

"Maybe…twice? Twice."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Alright, to get to the internet you drag the mouse," he waved the mouse on the screen so Demyx would notice it, "to this icon," he continued, dragging the mouse over the Mozilla icon. "Then you click it twice." He did so, and the browser came up, automatically coming up on Google.

Demyx was vaguely fascinated. "What do I use this 'Internet' for?" he asked.

"Anything," Roxas explained, "you can find anything you want by typing it into this search bar right here." He clicked in the text box. "What would you like to see?"

Demyx thought for a moment. "A Sitar video." he said resolutely.

"Alright," Roxas said as he typed 'Sitar Video' into the box and hit 'Enter.' Immediately, a screen with various websites appeared. Demyx was spellbound when Roxas found a website, _Sitars-Unlimited,_ which had thousands of videos to choose from.

"YouTube might also have some other videos," Roxas explained as he stood up, letting Demyx take over the computer. "Feel free to ask if you have any questions."

Demyx nodded absently as Roxas summoned a portal out of his room.

--((now it would be quite lame to end it there. XD We need some Zemyx up in here!))--

After a few hours Demyx began to get a headache. He closed the windows and hit the Sleep button that Roxas had showed him on the keyboard. The computer screen blackened and he sighed happily.

_This is some pretty interesting technology, I have to admit,_ Demyx thought. _Right now, my own sitar needs me,_ he grinned as he summoned his weapon for some tuning.

_Zexion has _got_ to see this._

--((wooo))--

Zexion smiled as he summoned a portal Demyx's room that evening, only to find him fast asleep, sprawled partly on top of his sitar. _Someone must have had an exciting day,_ he thought as he neared the sleeping Melodious Nocturne.

"Hey," he whispered, lightly touching Demyx's shoulder, "I know you want to rest up for tonight and all…"

Demyx groaned and looked up groggily. "What? Oh, hi Zexy…" he said absently as he rubbed his eyes.

"Did you enjoy your nap?" Zexion asked, smirking. "Do you want your snack now?"

Demyx glared at him. "Oh stuff it, Zexion, I stared at the computer screen to long…which reminds me!" he said, putting away his weapon and awakening the computer. "I want to show you this website!"

Zexion raised an eyebrow as Demyx skillfully opened an internet browser window. _What is he up to…?_ he thought, amused as Demyx struggled to remember exactly what the website was.

"Ah! I remember! It was _SitarsUnlimited!_" he said happily as he typed the URL into the address bar.

"Isn't this cool?" Demyx said as he waited for the website chock full of sitar videos to load.

Zexion stared at the screen. "Well Demyx, I wouldn't say that 'Women at the Car Wash' was exactly my cup of tea…" he said, trying to contain his laughter and failing.

Demyx squawked in surprise at the dirty images on his screen. He panicked and shut the window. "That wasn't what I wanted!" he said hastily, opening up a new browser and typing 'Sitars Unlimited' into Google. His website appeared as the first result. He clicked it, puzzled.

"What happened?"

Zexion peered at the URL. "It appears that you had forgotten the ever important hyphen between 'Sitar' and 'Unlimited,'" he reasoned.

Demyx sputtered in protest. "So you're saying that a _hyphen_ could be the difference between sitars and _porn?_"

Zexion laughed as he hit the Sleep mode on the computer and pulled Demyx out of the chair. "Welcome to the Internet, Demyx."

"Have you ever done that before?" Demyx asked as Zexion led him to the bed.

"Sure," Zexion said, pinking slightly.

Demyx grinned. "It looks like you found something worse than I did."

"If you typed in 'learning techniques' with the safe filter off, I bet you'd get some interesting results too…" he muttered.

Demyx laughed. "What kind of techniques were you looking for Zexy? Surely it wasn't something…dirty?" He snickered.

Zexion blushed. "I didn't want _techniques_, I wanted a new method to learn! As in, memorization!"

"Of course you did." Demyx said dryly.

Zexion glared at him and pushed Demyx onto his back, leaning over him. "Are you implying that you think I need a new technique?" he asked, forming the words against Demyx's lips.

"N-no…"

Zexion grinned. "I didn't think so," he said smugly before closing in for a kiss.

--((Ze End!))--

haha, that one was kind of fun. I've done that before, I put the hyphen in the wrong place for KHVids and got something _totally_ wrong. lol And I didn't put any coms or nets cuz I know ffnet would delete them. Lame.

R AND R PLEASE! XD

Click the purple button for REVIEWS. Not alerts. That's lameity, however appreciated. XD

Last one: Dance Dance Revolution! XD This is easy:

"_You'd think that after dressing as a woman for two years would make me look more feminine…"_

freaky-hanyou


	74. The Truck: Zemyx

Gah

Gah. I am such a softie. I am like, exhausted and beyond tired but here I am. Updating. AND YES AKANE I LOVED EACH AND EVERY _OUNCE_ OF THOSE REVIEWS. Do not feel bad leaving them! xD

You people made me happy, reading COB and all. XD I really like it, even though all I added was from the depts. of backstory and plot setup. XD Check it out if you haven't!

If anyone's seen the Parenthood, you'll definitely know where I'm going here. :snickers:

…:goes to sleep and posts later XD:

**What If…**

_Zexion was the reason there is a semi truck on the right side_

_of Memory's Skyscraper? (Refresher cuz I sure as _

_hell don't remember this either: upturned and _

_with skid marks leading to it)_

_((as suggested by the darling Kerri))_

"Stop being unreasonable, Demyx," Zexion said calmly as he entered his bedroom, turning to face Demyx.

"I'm just saying, with all these new worlds being discovered it would be logical for one of us to learn how to drive!"

"Again," Zexion said, massaging his temples, "why would we need to learn how to drive when we can just use a portal?"

"What if we get into a situation where we can't?" Demyx replied, "We'll need to be able to blend in with the people of the world!"

"Not if we can just _leave_, we don't have to."

"But then we'd have to come back and say we failed our mission."

Zexion was silent.

Demyx grinned, prodding him. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Zexion looked as if he had swallowed something sour. "…It wouldn't be pleasant coming back from a failed mission," he grimaced.

"So…?" Demyx said, raising an eyebrow triumphantly.

Zexion sighed. "I'll get us a car," he said defeatedly as Demyx cheered his victory.

--((thisll be interesting))--

"Why exactly does the Superior have a truck lying around in the World that Never Was?" Demyx asked curiously as he and Zexion approached the vehicle.

Zexion shrugged. "He said it was a failed experiment from early transportation methods. They eventually decided it would be easier to portal humans than trucks."

Demyx stared at the dilapidated truck. "I can see why." He grinned at Zexion. "So when are you going to give me the keys?"

Zexion looked affronted. "Never. If one of us is going to drive, it will be me," he said resolutely. "I value my life."

"Hey!" Demyx protested, "What makes you think you'll drive better than I would?"

Zexion gave him the 'how-can-you-ask-me-such-an-obvious-question' look. "I can focus longer than you can," he said simply before opening the door to the cab and climbing in.

Demyx grinned deviously as he walked around to the other side. _We'll see about that…_

--((:cackles: ))--

"This isn't so bad," Zexion said as he mowed down countless Heartless in the darkened streets and paths of the World that Never Was. "Turning is only slightly difficult…"

"I want to drive," Demyx pouted.

"No."

"You never let me learn anything new," he continued sourly.

Zexion sighed. "I'll make it up to you by teaching you some things when we return if you want."

Demyx grinned devilishly. "What kind of _things?_"

Zexion blushed. "Come on, Demyx, keep your mind out of the gutter. I have to pay attention."

"I don't think I want to," Demyx whispered, staring at Zexion's profile intensely.

Zexion looked over at him through his peripheral vision. His blush darkened as he turned rather sharply around a corner. "Stop looking at me like that, it's distracting."

Demyx's grin turned slightly sadistic as he shifted, taking off his seat belt. "I could be even more _distracting,_" he snickered, "besides, this driving is causing you to look quite tense." He slowly eased a hand across the front of Zexion's shoulders, caressing his chest.

Zexion slammed on the brakes as a league of Nobodies ran into the street in front of him. "Demyx!" he scolded as the Nobodies flitted past, "I really need to concentrate!" He slowly began accelerating again as Demyx drew his hand away from his chest.

However, after a few minutes of silence, Demyx's devilish grin returned. "I really think you need to relax," he whispered as he gently laid a hand on Zexion's thigh.

"Demyx, stop," Zexion whispered lamely as he stared ahead at the road, hands gripped tightly over the wheel. Demyx grin grew wider as he slowly shifted his hand inward, kissing Zexion's collarbone before disappearing below the steering wheel entirely.

Zexion yelped, involuntarily slamming down on the accelerator. He vaguely registered that a building was fast approaching. He swore and attempted to slam on the brakes. Seeing that it wasn't working, he gripped Demyx tightly before summoning a portal. The two appeared the next block over, collapsed in a pile. A loud crash was heard as Zexion winced.

He pulled Demyx up on his feet and came upon the truck, on its side in flames. Demyx made short work of the fire while Zexion refastened the button on his pants and regained his wits. Once the fire was out, Demyx turned to look at him, smiling sheepishly.

"Um…oops?" he said, laughing softly.

Zexion glared at him. "That was not. Funny."

"That's what you get for saying your focus is better than mine," Demyx said, gesturing at the truck, "I bet I could drive just fine while I was _distracted._"

Zexion blushed and did not reply. Suddenly, a portal appeared and the Superior stepped out. He stared at the totaled semi for a moment, crashed into Memory's Skyscaper, destroyed. He then turned to Zexion and Demyx, livid.

"What the hell happened here?" he ground out.

Zexion's face was impassive as he turned to Demyx. "Go ahead, Demyx. Tell him."

--((END!))--

:fit of giggles: Oh man. That is straight from the Parenthood my friends. XD So yesterday I watched the Pebble and the Penguin, and today I took a 4 hour nap. Wow. And for a while I thought that the truck was literally like, on the side of the building, but then I was like. Noo.

Kinda short, but I still love it. R AND R MY DARLINGS! OH MY and on Apr 11th is supposed to be like, insanity for me, but I'm going to try my damndest to post a story. XD

Last one: Reincarnation.

_Did this card just threaten to rape me?_

freaky-hanyou


	75. Earth Day: Soriku

HEY GUYS

HEY GUYS! :innocence: Did I neglect to mention that Spring is the busiest time of year for me? But things are finally dying down, so I should get back on track. WOO!

Now lets see…I drew a picture of the last chapter! its not very good and its VERY chibi, and Xemnas looks like he might eat someone. But I don't know how to put it up anywhere? (has no scanner and no working digital camera) Well. If I managed to find my camera and make it work and get it on my computer, I wouldn't know what to do with it. -

AND HOLY CRAP Bee, the image of Xemnas driving the Mystery Machine cracks me up. XD

OMG GUESS WHAT. ITS STORY PIMPING TIME. NOT ONE, BUT _TWO!_ See, when I'm bored, I go skim your people's profiles for stories. AND LOOK AT THESE! I'll even **bold** them so you notice when you skip my authors note. Akane (who is holding Canada at ransom for this update XD) is writing the lovely story **Attendance is Mandatory,** a Zemyx Cinderella parody. Hilarious. AND Kiki is writing **Hello, Axel!** An AU AkuRoku where an Axel-hating Roxas stars opposite Axel in Hello, Dolly! Brilliance. AND BOTH ARE FAST UPDATES! Go read them. _Now._

AND this is for Earth Day…:angelic smile: Pretend it's April 22nd people!

**What If…**

_Sora loved Earth Day and made Riku help him_

_volunteer against his will?_

_((as suggested by the darling Zesty))_

"Morning Sora," Riku mumbled groggily as he sat down at the kitchen table in their apartment for his breakfast of toast and coffee.

"Good morning Riku!" Sora said cheerily as he dug into his pancakes. Riku smiled softly and lifted the paper, skimming the headlines. However, after a few minutes passed, Riku sensed that Sora was still staring at him. He peeked around the edge of the paper.

_Oh no,_ Riku thought as he saw the 'innocent' look on Sora's face. _He has the 'I-have-something-special-and-potentially-life-threatening-that-doesn't-involve-sex' look in his eye again… _Riku shuddered as he remembered the last time Sora had that look in his eye. Sora had decided he would spend the entire day gluing magnets to himself so he could bond with the refrigerator. He still had a scar on his forearm from when Riku had to rip one off.

"Yes Sora?" Riku asked tentatively.

"Do you know what day it is, Riku?"

Riku thought for a moment before glancing at his newspaper. "April 22nd?"

"Which is…?"

Riku skimmed more of the paper's headlines. _Earth Day…Shit. _"Sora, I am _not_ planting 50 trees like last year. I couldn't get out of bed for a week."

"You're saying that like it's a bad thing," Sora said, winking.

Riku rolled his eyes. "I was sore from planting _trees_, Sora. There's a difference. No trees."

"But we have to help the environment!" Sora said, pouting.

"No. Trees."

Sora frowned. "What if we volunteer in a way that doesn't involve trees?" he asked.

Riku mentally ran through the possibilities. Seeing no loophole, he sighed. "…Alright."

Sora squealed as he leapt from the table, kissing Riku on the cheek. "Thanks, Riku!" He then ran into their room to get ready to leave.

--((wo0t))--

"Sora."

"Hmm?"

"This is a highway." Riku stared blankly as the two stood beside the edge of the busy road near their group of voluneers.

"So?"

"So doesn't Earth Day involve…nature?"

"Sure!" Sora said cheerily as he reached into the pile behind him and the others, pulling out two pokers and trash bags. "We're going to clean up litter!"

Riku groaned inwardly. "Of course we are." Slowly, Riku began to spear trash with his poker and place it into his trash bag. _This isn't…that bad. Sure, it's disgusting, but we're helping the environment._ Riku glared as a passing car nonchalantly dropped a pop can out the window. _Great._

"Riku?"

"Hmm?" Riku asked as he turned around, pulled out of his thoughts.

"What's this?" Sora said, brandishing a white cylindrical object with a string attached on the bottom of his poker.

Riku's eyes widened. "Nothing, Sora. Just trash. Throw it away."

"But-"

"Throw it out Sora."

"Riku, tell me!"

"No."

"Please?"

"_No._"

"Riku, what is i—"

"It's a _tampon!_" Riku exclaimed loudly. A few volunteers nearby stared at him. "Now throw it out."

"Oh." Sora said as he threw it out. A few moments of silence passed. "What does it do?"

Riku facepalmed. "I'll tell you later, Sora, alright?"

Sora nodded, silently continued his work.

Riku slowly cleared his area of trash. _Disgusting,_ he muttered as he picked up item after item. _Hold on, is that—_

"Ew," Riku muttered as he speared a used condom on the bottom of his poker. "Why the hell would someone have sex on the side of the road?" he continued, more to himself.

Sora, unfortunately, heard him. "Many reasons Riku! Don't you remember that one time it was hot and the air conditioner was broken so we—"

"_Yes,_ Sora, I remember," Riku said quickly, cutting him off before more people stared at him. _As if this could get any worse,_ he thought darkly.

At that moment, the overcast sky flashed and cracked with thunder, sending a bucket of rain upon them. Riku glared at the skies above, deftly tying his trash bag. "Come on, Sora," he muttered, throwing his bag on the pile.

"Riku its only rain—"

"And you're holding a metal poker," Riku muttered as he discarded of his and Sora's remaining supplies and headed for the car. "It's time to go."

"Alright," Sora conceded, letting himself be pulled away to the car. As soon as they reach the car, Sora looked down, shielding his expression behind his soaked hair. "Are you mad at me Riku?"

Riku turned, surprised. "Why would I be mad?" He turned slowly, pushing Sora's drenched hair out of his face and pulling him closer.

"Because we're on the side of the highway in the rain, cleaning up trash…"

"So? We're helping nature," Riku explained. "That's what you wanted right?"

Sora grinned. "Right! It's not like we're going to melt."

"Of course not," Riku whispered as he ghosted his lips across Sora's. "Not from rain, anyway…" Sora pushed upward, closing the miniscule gap between them. He pushed Riku up against the car, smirking into the kiss. Riku groaned in surprise, water from the wet car seeping into his clothes. He found that he didn't mind that passing cars honked as they passed, or that they were both going to get colds from kissing in the rain.

Sora pulled back, smirking as Riku tried to follow. "So…"

"So?"

"What does a tampon do?"

Riku laughed, ruffling Sora's soaked hair. "Get in the car, you nut. We're going to need showers…"

Sora smirked and jumped into his seat.

--((END!))--

WOO! I UPDATE. IT IS GOOD. REVIEW! XD Let me know you're still alive too!

Last episode: Stalker

"_Zexion, stop that you little animal…" _

freaky-hanyou


	76. Friday the 13th: AkuRoku

((HOLY CRAP IT LET ME DELETE THE COPIED PHRASE!))

heee. Hi. Alright THE GOOD NEWS! This lazy recently freed for summer me is UPDATING! WOOT! (I updated Coin Operated Boy semi-recently now if you haven't noticed. XD)

The bad news, however is that I am going to ITALY Woot. I'm leaving Thursday, and will return like, the 23rd. So. This is going to have to tide you over. Don't you dare think I'm giving this up. I am bringing a LIST of what ifs and one shots to write with on the EIGHT FREAKING HOUR PLANE RIDE. I already have an airport oneshot halfway written already from the last flight adventure. XD I can't write CoB on the plane, it'll be too difficult. XD

So, I won't bore you with much talk. XD

!! I JUST REMEMBERED! Holy CRAP. Ok so. This FRIDAY the thirteenth. I will not be here. SO. I OFFICIALLY DUB THIS THE FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH WHAT IF SPECIAL!

Pretend its Friday people.

…There wasn't an exact what if ramification for this, but heres the inspiration: _"Well, why not do a totally creepy, yet completely sexy one on a friday the thirteenth?"_ says Zesty.

SO! Sorry if this is crappy, I have to work the rust out of my writing…

**What If…**

_Axel had a secret fear of thunderstorms, and_

_Roxas had to comfort him?_

_((A What If Special care of Zesty!))_

"Hey Roxas! Roxas! Roooooxasssssss?" Axel pretended to whisper conspiratorially as he poked Roxas in the shoulder. Roxas, who was trying to calmly eat his dinner, tried not to twitch.

"_Yes, _Axel _dearest_?" Roxas said sarcastically. Axel, however missed the sarcasm.

"Roxy!" he squealed, "Do you know what today is?"

Roxas thought for a moment. "The thirteenth…." he said slowly. _It's not August, so I still have two months to prepare for _that_ day,_ he thought, concealing a blush.

"It's _Friday_ the thirteenth! Let's go out into the city and capture Heartless to put in unlikely places!" he declared.

Roxas rolled his eyes. _He must have spiked his own dinner._ "That isn't scary, that's just annoying…and besides, it's supposed to thunderstorm soon."

Axel stopped mid tirade. "Storm? As in, rain and lightning and thunder?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow as he finished his meal. "That would be the definition of a thunderstorm," he said, standing up. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, not at all," Axel said as he followed Roxas out of the cafeteria. "Not at all…"

--((woooooo))--

Axel fidgeted nervously as he and Roxas sat in front of his bed, watching television. Roxas absently played with the ties of Axel's jacket as Axel wrapped his arm around him. Axel, however, could not seem to focus on the regularly scheduled program. He kept looking out the window into the impending darkness.

"Is something wrong Axel?" Roxas asked after he noticed Axel looking out the window for the fifth time.

"Nope, not at all!" Axel said sheepishly. "Everything is just—"

A bright flash of lighting and a loud burst of thunder and with a buzz the power went out.

"_Fine,_" Axel said, his voice cracking as the two sat in darkness.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned as the Nobody visibly tensed. "Are you alright?"

Axel winced as another round of lightning and thunder commenced.

"Axel?"

"N-no…"

Roxas paused. "Are you afraid of thunderstorms?"

"A little bit," he admitted sheepishly as he tightened his hold on Roxas.

"Why didn't you say anything before, hmmm? Didn't want to ruin your 'badass' image?" Roxas teased.

Axel laughed. "I wasn't aware of this 'badass', but sure." Axel yelped as a particularly loud peal of thunder erupted. Roxas made a small 'oof' sound as Axel landed in his lap.

"Shh…." Roxas said, trying to be soothing as he rubbed his hand down Axel's back, "it'll be alright…"

Axel snorted. "Roxas, I'm not a baby, I'm just scared," he said as he tightened his grip.

Roxas tried to get up. "Well _fine,_ see if I stay here and try to comfort you then—"

"Wait! I'm sorry! Don't leave!" Axel said, genuinely afraid.

Roxas softened. "I was just kidding, I won't leave."

Axel visibly relaxed. Slightly. "Good."

"So…" Roxas started, "What can we do during this storm to calm you down then?"

Axel's eyes took on a devious glint. "Oh I don't know, maybe you could _distract _me…"

Axel waited for the obligatory protest and punch to the shoulder. However, nothing came. Instead, Roxas pushed Axel off of him so he lay flat on the floor and straddled his waist.

Axel bit back a groan. "You aren't shutting me down?"

Roxas grinned. "No," he whispered as lightning flashed, "I'm shutting you up." Roxas then sealed his lips over Axel's. Quickly taking control, Roxas lightly stroked Axel's cheek as the other hand slowly lowered his zipper. He quickly slipped a hand under the fabric, stroking Axel's stomach and sides. Axel made a whining sound and tried to roll them over.

Roxas pulled back. "Stop fidgeting and let me distract you," he muttered as he moved to nip Axel's neck. He pushed the cloak off of Axel's shoulders while tracing intricate patterns on his abs.

"Roxy…" Axel muttered.

"Sh," Roxas said before moving to caress Axel's collarbone. Axel hissed and fisted Roxas' blonde locks with both hands, mind reeling.

Roxas' kisses soon reached the same point as his hand, just above the waistline of Axel's pants. Axel's breathing became labored as Roxas moved slowly lower.

"Are you fully distracted?" Roxas muttered, breathing puffs of warm air on Axel's abdomen.

"Y-Yes," Axel stuttered out, barely even aware he was in his room let alone a thunderstorm.

"Good," Roxas said, sitting up. "Mission accomplished." His eyes glinted mischievously as he grinned.

Axel blinked. "Wait, what? No it isn't!" Axel regained his senses and in one fluid motion flipped himself over and nestled himself fully on top of Roxas.

"We've just barely started…"

--((End!))--

haha sorry that's kinda short, but I couldn't continue for obvious T rated reasons. But do not worry! There will be updates when I return! Leave me love! I exist still so you do too!

OH! Hm. Last one: The Puppy!

"_Ugh, _clearly_ these weren't made for a man…"_

freaky-hanyou


	77. Diet: AkuRoku

HELLOOOO MY DARLINGS

(it wont let me delete phrases again.) HELLOOOO MY DARLINGS! ((Italy was totally the shiz)) Yes, I know I've been back for a while. Heee! I'm bad. But one of my summer reading things is due Thursday so it might suck up some future time (yes my evil teacher made summer stuff due DURING summer) Anyway. I totally love how I missed 6-9 day wth by me. So we're going to have to jump in the time machine later. BUT.

I always update on the 4th of July for some reason. So I figure this is the plan. I'll update What If to get your attention, then CoB, then maybe a oneshot or two. XD Btw, Roxas isn't free yet. :wink:

**What If…**

_Axel decided to go on a diet?_

_((as suggested by the darling Kerrilea))_

"I'm fat."

Roxas snorted as he rolled over in bed to face Axel, who was staring at his boxer-clad self in the mirror. "No you're not."

Axel pinched the skin on his stomach. "Yes I am! See? That's fat."

Roxas sighed and sat up. "Axel, everyone needs at least _some_ fat on their body to stay healthy. It's a part of nature."

Axel frowned as he continued to grip his 'fat' stomach. "But not this much! I need to go on a diet."

Roxas joined him by the mirror, encircling Axel's waist from behind. "No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"Axel," Roxas whispered, kissing Axel's shoulder. "I'm telling you. You are perfectly healthy." He skimmed his hands up and down Axel's chest. "There is no fat here."

Axel absently nodded along with Roxas' statements. "I don't know…"

Roxas grinned as he pinched Axel's 'fat.' "Come on. Let's go get breakfast."

Axel sighed. "Alright." 

--((after breakfast))--

"Gah," Axel said as he and Roxas sat eating Sea Salt Ice Cream on their 'mission.' "I even _feel_ fatter."

Roxas sighed in exasperation. "Of _course _you do dumbass, we just ate!"

"This is different!"

"Of course it is." Roxas sighed as he stood to throw away his trash. "Alright, fine. You think you're fat?"

Axel nodded.

"Want to know the only way to slim down?"

He nodded again.

"Diet and exercise."

Axel made a face. "I hate forced exercise. We exercise enough. Diet, however…" Axel looked off into the distance, lost in thought.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You don't need a diet!"

Axel ignored him. "I'll check the internet tonight."

--((the next morning))--

"Come on Axel," Roxas said we he zipped up his cloak, "we're going to be late for breakfast!"

"I'm not going," Axel said plainly as he strolled to his dresser and pulled out a huge bar of chocolate.

"Axel…" Roxas said, turning around and eyeing the giant bar of chocolate. "Is that your breakfast?"

"And lunch and dinner," Axel supplied.

Roxas stared at him incredulously. "You aren't seriously…"

"Yep!" Axel grinned, "I'm going on the chocolate diet!" 

"But chocolate is bad for you. It-"

"helps lower your blood pressure and fight heart disease, says the Internet," Axel stated triumphantly. "I can lose weight _and_ enjoy it!"

Roxas sighed as he left him to his 'breakfast.' "And so the fad diet begins…"

--((later that week))--

Axel grinned as he strutted into Roxas' bedroom and cleared his throat. Roxas looked up from his romance novel, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Notice anything different?"

Roxas gave him a once over. "Nope."

Axel glared at him. "I lost two pounds!"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel, your weight fluctuates two pounds plus and minus every day. Two pounds means nothing."

Axel stuck his tongue out at him. "You're just a nonbeliever in the chocolaty goodness! I'll be slim again, you'll see. And then…." he broke off, grinning at the prone Roxas.

"What?"

"You won't leave this bedroom for a week!" He winked and walked off to his room.

--((that night at dinner))--

Roxas looked down at his full plate of spaghetti and meatballs, Axel's favorite dinner. Then he looked across the table at the empty seat where Axel would usually sit, inhaling his meal.

_This is getting serious, _Roxas thought. _I'll have to resort to drastic measures._ Standing up, Roxas took his plate and walked to Axel's room. He walked in to find the redhead happily munching on a bar of chocolate and drinking hot cocoa. His chewing slowed when he saw Roxas' plate.

"What are you doing?" Axel asked as he eyed the spaghetti.

"Nothing," Roxas said nonchalantly, watching as Axel practically drooled at his plate, "I just figured you'd want some company." He snickered to himself as Axel's eyes followed his fork from the plate to his mouth. "Would you like some?"

Axel cleared his throat and went back to eating his chocolate bar. "Nope, I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Roxas pressed, "It's really good. Soft meatballs in warm spaghetti….Mmmm." He happily continued to slurp up his spaghetti. Axel stared before shaking himself.

"Yep, I'm perfectly fine."

Roxas sighed in frustration and ate his meal.

--((the next day))--

_This is the last straw, _Roxas thought as he entered Axel's room, brimming with determination.

"Axel." Roxas ground out, staring at the redhead who was lying face up on his bed, a bar of chocolate on his stomach. "I can't take this anymore."

"Take what?" Axel said innocently.

"This chocolate diet! If anything, you're gaining fat! And you're getting lazier! No one ever sees you anymore unless you're on a mission!" Roxas glared at him. "You look exactly the same! If you got any thinner, you'd be anorexic," he put his hands over his eyes. "You need to realize that you are not fat, and you are fine exactly as you are."

"But-"

"No buts! I am resorting to desperate measures. I went online yesterday and found a new diet for you if you're so hellbent on being on a diet."

"And that is?"

Roxas' frustration was slowly replaced with a sly grin as he approached Axel. "The Sex Diet. I found out that frequent sexual encounters increase exercise, which lessens weight, increases cardiac health, and decreases depression."

Axel chuckled as Roxas covered Axel's body with his own. "And this is a desperate measure?"

"Oh yes," Roxas said. "One that needs to be performed at least three, maybe four times a day."

Axel pretended to think. "I think I could live with that."

"Good," Roxas said, before covering Axel's lips with a fiery kiss. He pulled away, grinning. "I'm sick of tasting chocolate on your breath."

Axel switched their positions, unzipping Roxas jacket and discarding it. Then, he reached under his bed and pulled out a can of Hershey's chocolate. "What do you say I cover you with it instead?"

Roxas chuckled which turned into a groan as Axel ran his tongue around the shell of his ear. "That sounds like a good idea."

"That sounds like a great idea," Axel replied as he popped open the lid.

--((End!))--

Haha, damn I'm evil. That one was kind of…..ridiculously uneventful? Ah well. There's only so much I can do. And hell, if you google chocolate diet OR sex diet, shit comes up. It's amazing. I'll update soon, I promise! Leave me love!

Last one was indeed Crossdressing! Good job!

_That's the point of the sheet Sora," he said gesturing at his hips, "It prevents you from seeing anything…yet. It promotes mystery."_


	78. Suicidal: AkuRoku

Hello

Hello! xD Kiki persuaded me to update. AND she also pointed out that I have 813 at the reviews at the moment! Make sure the meaning is not lost upon you. 8 13. XD COOLAGE! And if anyone is thinking, _Jeez, why are all of these What Ifs recently by Kerrilea?_ Because she suggested 10 in a row. XD After this one there's 5 more and THEN the next one will have to be a What If for the Big Kids because its definitely not going to be a T. XD

So there's plans. Now I shall attempt some writing. XD

**What If…**

_Axel thought Roxas was suicidal?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Kerrilea))_

"Good morning dear Roxy!" Axel said as he charged into Roxas' room at exactly 7:06 AM for his daily morning tackle and or possible quick roll in the hay. Roxas groaned and rolled over.

"Go away Axel, I didn't sleep well last night."

"Awww my poor dear," Axel crooned as he stripped the blankets away from him anyway, "but now its time to get up and face the day!" He grabbed Roxas' wrists and started to pull him out of bed. "Breakfast is—Roxas, what happened to your wrist?" Axel said, turning his hand over to see the jagged red lines across his forearm.

"I told you I didn't sleep well last night," Roxas explained blearily, "I rolled out of bed to use the bathroom and I tripped and caught my arm on the desk."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "There's more than one gash though…"

Roxas glared at him. "There are shop objects on top of my desk that I ran into as well."

"But—"

"Axel it's too early in the morning for the third degree," Roxas groaned as he got out of bed to change into his robes. As he opened his closet, Axel noticed that the few ties Roxas owned were hanging strangely over the closet bar.

"Why are those there?" he questioned. _Cut wrists? He didn't think about hanging himself did he? He couldn't be suicidal…Could he?_

"I was trying to reorganize my closet earlier," Roxas replied offhandedly. "Can we go get breakfast?"

Axel shook away his dark thoughts and smiled. "Of course."

--((later))--

Axel sighed in contentment as he sat with Roxas on the edge of the clock tower in Twilight Town. _Maybe I was wrong earlier,_ he thought as he glanced to Roxas at his side before casually draping an arm around him, _He's been acting perfectly fine all day._

"Hey Axel?" Roxas asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Hmmm?" 

"How far of a drop do you think this is?"

Axel had to use all of his willpower to keep himself from summoning a portal to send them back both to the safety of the ground. "Pretty damned far. Why do you ask?" he asked cautiously.

"I was just thinking what would happen if I fell off…"

"I would catch you and we would land on your bed where we would proceed to have wild monkey sex until dawn," Axel replied easily, lightening the mood.

Roxas chuckled. "You have this planned out don't you?"

"Damn straight."

"So should I fall?" Roxas asked, chuckling.

Axel grew serious. "Never," he said before he pulled Roxas away from the edge. "We could just have wild monkey sex up here," he whispered in Roxas' ear, cornering him at the wall.

Roxas smirked. "We could…"

"We will," Axel replied, kissing Roxas hard on the lips. Roxas wrapped his hands in Axel's hair as Axel pressed fully against him, wrapping an arm around his waist and running a gentle hand down his neckline.

"Axel," Roxas whispered as Axel's mouth followed the path made by his hand.

"Yes?" he whispered deviously, green eyes glinting with mischief.

"Can we go back to my room?"

"Why?" Axel pouted, "Where's your kinky side? Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I'm too tired to have sex standing up," he whined.

Axel sighed before he scooped Roxas up bridal style. "Alright Miss PMS, although we could just have sex _right_ there," he said as he gestured to the ground, "I'm sensitive to your womanly needs, and we shall depart for your bedroom."

Roxas smacked him over the head. "You're going to pay for that."

Axel grinned. "I don't think so."

--((even later))--

Axel whistled happily as he walked from his bedroom to join Roxas in his room. _There is no way he's suicidal,_ Axel concluded. _If he was, he could simply stab himself with his Keyblade!_ he reasoned. _He's fine._

Axel walked into Roxas' room to find Roxas in the center of his bedroom with his Keyblade pointed straight at his chest.

"Roxas, what are you doing?!" he asked, panic evident in his voice.

Roxas looked down at his Keyblade before he looked back at Axel. "Axel-"

"Roxas, don't do it! I don't want you to leave!" he exclaimed before he tackled Roxas to the floor.

The Keyblade disappeared as Roxas looked up at Axel with surprise on his face. "Axel, I—"

"Don't you ever think of hurting yourself, you are needed just as much as everyone else here—"

"I know and I wasn't!" Roxas said. Axel looked down at him in confusion. "There was a Heartless in my room, and I killed it by throwing the Keyblade at it. You just happened to see me pick up my weapon backwards," he explained.

Axel didn't look convinced. "But all the other suicidal things you've asked me today—"

Roxas laughed. "Like what? My scrapes? Ties? Falling off a building? Please Axel, even I'm not that stupid."

"So…." Axel started.

"You're overreacting."

"Good," Axel whispered, kissing Roxas on the lips. "I didn't want to have to pull an Intervention on you."

Roxas smiled. "You'll never have to. Now if you don't mind, can I get off the floor?"

"Only if you're going to the bed," Axel replied.

"Fine," Roxas said, grinning.

--((END))--

Hm. Kinda short, but I had the worst ADD writing this. I would like, write a sentence, and look away. XD and I forgot to mention. If anyone likes straight pairings, (don't laugh xD) a lovely authoress named JesusRox7111 decided to take up a Straight Version of What If with my blessing. Why not spread the amazing to the straight ones? I used to hate yaoi like, two years ago. So feel free to check it out, I don't know her talent but it doesn't hurt to look. .

R AND R. XD

Last one definitely Blindness.

Alright if anyone gets this they get a cookie because its pretty ridiculous.

_Hmm…__Riku thought as he looked around. __I am damned sick of coconuts…_

freaky-hanyou


	79. Christmas in Not So July: AkuRoku

Hi

Hi. So I forgot I had another Date-important What if again. AND rather than wait for it to come around to Christmas, we're all just going to pretend its Christmas in July ne? I'm only a little over a week off…Humor me. XD

And I just finished writing out phase 2 of my summer reading, so to celebrate I might even write this AAAAAAAAAND CoB today. XD AND IMPORTANT **BOLD! There's a bit of a contest, if you will,** at the end of the chapter. Because I need your help! And manpower needs to be rewarded! XD

Enjoy my loves! Oh yeah…Yes I admit the suicide one left something to be desired, xforalways, I agree (desire pun intended). But I was dry on ideas that day. XD AND Noir, I ALWAYS end on a sexual note cuz it's the first thing that comes to me. Hee! And Noir, I read that story. I laughed at the end.

UkeGlomper, you'd like variety? You got it.

**What If…**

_Axel and Roxas must decorate a Christmas tree?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Panicchannel))_

Roxas grumbled as he slowly ate his pancakes that morning. _I had too much caffeine yesterday,_ he thought dourly, _I don't know how I am going to function on two hours of sleep today…_

"Roxas…Roxaaaas!" Axel whispered loudly, 'discreetly' launched a pancake ball at him. Roxas rolled his eyes.

_Especially with him as my mission partner. _"_What_, Axel? It's really too early for this…"

Axel was unaffected. "But it's Christmas?"

Roxas looked up, confused. "But it's July…" He thought for a moment. _Aw shit, it's—_

"But it's the 25th! Christmas in July!" Axel all but shouted to the table! Realizing that he was being a little too obnoxious even for _his_ standards, he leaned forward to whisper to Roxas. "So we'll have to celebrate, alright?" he winked.

Roxas sighed and launched the pancake ball back at Axel. "Oh stuff it, you perv."

_I'm screwed._

--((wo0t))--

Much to Roxas' delight, their 'mission' in Twilight Town was uneventful. Even better, Twilight Town was having a Christmas in July celebration.

"It just really isn't my day, is it?" Roxas muttered to himself as Axel tried to convince him to go decorate the Christmas tree with the rest of the Twilight Town inhabitants.

"Come _on,_ Rox," Axel pleaded as he longingly watched the festivities, "I want to help! What could possibly go wrong?"

"Oh a hell of a lot of things with you helping," Roxas replied, beginning to walk away. When he noticed Axel wasn't following and continuing to whine, he stopped and turned to find him frozen in place, staring at the ground.

"Am I really that bad?" he responded quietly, unmoving.

Roxas sighed, approaching the redhead. "No, you're not. I just tend to overreact…"

Axel looked up at him, smiling. "Really?"

"Really. So do you really want to decorate that thing?" Roxas asked, pointing in the general direction of the tree.

"Yes!" Axel replied, excited. "It's a break from the norm, you know?"

"I bet," Roxas replied. "I guess…come on," he said, taking Axel's hand and pulling him along towards the tree.

--((naaaawwww))--

The two were easily assigned to work at a section of the giant tree, managing a companionable silence. Roxas focused on arranging the tinsel and garland, while Axel 'discreetly' lit the candles that served as the lights from his palm.

"This is kind of fun," Roxas admitted, circling the candles with tinsel and gold garland.

"I told you," Axel said, smirking as he lit a candle. "Perfect mission."

"Why do you say that?" Roxas asked, absorbed in his task.

"Well, I get to use my power, our lives aren't in danger, and the company isn't half bad either…" Axel said slowly, smiling to himself. "We should do this more often…"

"We should do things _like_ this more often, do you know what I mean?" Roxas half whispered, finishing his corner.

Axel tried to register his vague words. "You mean like….spend more time together?" He turned to Roxas slowly. "Seriously?"

Roxas turned to look at him, considering his words. "Axel, I—_Fire!_" he started, pointing at where Axel had started to light a candle before looking at Roxas. He missed the candle, and lit the pines, starting a fire on their side.

"Why yes Rox, it's my fingers—holy shit!" He pulled his hand back, watching as the tree was quickly covered in flames.

Roxas and Axel stood back for a moment, watching the fire spread. "I think it's time to go," Roxas said.

Axel summoned a portal.

--((oooops!))--

Axel winced as the two returned to the hallway by their bedrooms in the Castle that Never Was. _He's probably going to be mad at me now for causing such a spectacle,_ he thought. He looked over cautiously at Roxas, who had his back turned to him. His shoulders were shaking.

"Rox…?" he said carefully, turning Roxas to face him. Roxas was laughing, uncontrollably so. "Roxas…? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Roxas said, slightly chuckling, "it's just we probably ruined their entire festival, and we just poofed right out of there!"

Axel stepped back a bit. "You really are sadistic."

Roxas glared at him. "I'm allowed to laugh for no reason! _You're_ the crazy one!"

Axel laughed. "So I can be. Well, who wants to write _that_ mission report?" he grinned.

"I'll do it," Roxas said, sighing before heading towards his room.

--((time fast forward))--

"There," Roxas said, pulling back from his desk, "one fully embellished mission report completed. Now I just have to—"

"Did you mean it Roxas?" Axel said as he barged in Roxas' door without knocking.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Did I mean what?"

"That you wanted to spend more time with me."

Roxas turned slightly pink. "…Yes."

"Good," Axel said, kissing him on the cheek, "because nothing would make me happier. Would you like to watch a movie tonight?" Axel asked warmly.

"Sure," Roxas replied, blushing more. "Let me just finish the last few pieces of this," he turned around to face the report, only to find Axel standing there still. "Did you need something else?"

"I think I do," Axel replied before turning Roxas in his chair to kiss him more fully on the lips. He pulled back, chuckling to himself. "How about we do something _after_ the movie?"

Roxas threw a stapler at him. "Get out, perv, before I change my mind." He laughed as Axel bowed and left.

"Crazy," Roxas muttered before returning to his work.

--

Haha! I daresay that was IN character! Well, make sure you review! (I listened to Christmas music while I wrote this XD)

And this contest I spoke of. WELL, for my 9/6 oneshot, I have an idea…BUT there is something in these stories that I need to use. And I know you people will find it faster then I can. In ONE of these stories, Demyx calls Zexion Number VI, and I list why. I need to know why. So the first three people to tell me what it is, (I say three because I'm nice XD) will get their story OR a new what if of their liking pushed up to the front of the line. I appreciate it. XD

OOoo you people caught me! It was Paopu Fruit!

"_So I have to be __you?"__ Roxas said, sounding as if he tasted something bad._

freaky-hanyou


	80. Halloween: AkuRoku & Soriku

Well Hi. So yeah, I have been and still am obnoxiously busy, but the good news is I'm on FALL BREAK and have time to do this. And I know that I said whoever gave me the lovely ideas I need for the Zemyx I completely forgot to but still intend to write, will get this next chapter, but I stumbled upon a Halloween fic that I have in the list, so I'm giving that one the Holiday Amendment pass go andTHEN the next will be Akanes. AND THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND HERE WTF. Anyway, dear blkcat I think you're number 3…I'll ttyou about that soon.

And Kiki! WE"RE DOING The Matchmaker! WHICH IS HELLO DOLLY without songs! Cept they put in Hello Dolly, holy crap I started laughing when I found out this is what we were doing. XD

This has been around for over a year. Dudely I wish I noticed. XD

I love allof yous who checked up on me. Eeee bear with me here. So, without further ado… oh and this story is a deviantart, but the reviewer didn't tell me what it was. So… lol

**What If…**

_Sora dressed up as Winnie the Pooh, Roxas as Piglet, Riku as Eeyore and Axel as the one and only Tigger?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Live-WireLinx))_

"This party is going to rock," Axel said as he finished hanging the orange and black streamers from the stairs. "I can't believe your parents don't mind us having one Riku," Axel called down to his friend as he came down the stairs and entered the kitchen where Riku was watching Sora and Roxas finish baking food for the party. Sora slapped his arm in disapproval as Riku tried to pilfer a cookie from the plate.

"They're out of town so much, they never mind," Riku replied as he glared at Sora. Sora gave him his 'I'm-innocent-and-I-know-you-love-me' face and Riku smiled. Roxas rolled his eyes and gave Riku a cookie, despite Sora's protests.

"It's just one cookie Sora," he scolded his younger brother, "it's his house, he can have one."

"That's my Roxy," Axel said happily as he wrapped his arms around the blonde from behind, "always being generous to others."

"Don't make me frost you," Roxas said, turning around with a tube of frosting, "we'll never be ready in time if you two keep distracting us."

"Aw, relax," Axel said as he sat down at the kitchen table, "the party isn't supposed to start until nine. It's only six…" His voice trailed off as he stood up to look out the kitchen window. "Fuck," he swore as he saw two men in suits and sunglasses approached the block and began to peer down the street at the house numbers. One had long silver hair, while the other had sky blue hair and a peculiar scar across the visible parts of his face. "Guys…" Axel said warily, turning around to face the rest of those gathered in the room. "We need to cancel this party."

"What?!" Sora said, protesting, "Why? You just looked out the window and—" Sora paused as he saw the men approaching down the street. "Who are those guys?"

"CIA agents," Axel replied stoically, gazing hard out the window again. "They're coming after me. I know it."

"But how do you know?" Sora said shakily, "after all, it _is_ Halloween, maybe they're dressed up—"

"Agent 1, Xemnas. Agent 7, Saix. They work for my father, and they're after me."

"But…why?" Roxas asked, desiring to hear all the facts. "This isn't because of the time your dad caught us in the kitchen with the ice cream and the—"

"No," Axel said, cutting him off hastily and blushing slightly, "we already had a talk about that…incident…No, this is something else. We need to go."

Roxas looked at the rest of the group, all silently agreeing that Axel was being crazy. "They're CIA agents, Axel, there's no way to hide from them!"

"Not necessarily," Axel said, smirking as an idea already began to form in his mind. "Riku, do you have any Halloween costumes here?"

Riku raised an eyebrow. "We might have a few," he said, leading everyone to the closet in the back room of his house. "There's only—"

"You have _got_ to be kidding…" Roxas said in disbelief, staring at the costumes.

--------((holy exposition batman!))------

"There is no fucking way I am going out _trick or treating_ in this outfit," Roxas ground out as he pouted on the couch in the living room.

"Oh come on," Axel said as he zipped up his costume, "won't you do it to save your precious Axel?"

"I'd rather throw you to the agents," Roxas muttered, standing up in his Piglet costume. He looked at himself in the mirror, then rolled his eyes and Sora gleefully pranced around the room in his Winnie the Pooh costume. "This is outrageous…"

"We'll have fun," Axel said assuredly in his Tigger costume as he pulled Roxas closer. "I would say some role play is in order," he whispered into Roxas' ear, "but that would bring about a whole new level of wrong…"

Roxas ignored his involuntary shudder and drew back from him. "I'm still angry at you for this Axel."

Axel brushed Roxas' anger aside. "Bah, you'll be over it by the evening."

"So what's the plan?" Riku said as he entered the living room dressed as Eeyore, struggling to get his tail to stick to the costume.

"I put a sign on the door saying the party was cancelled due to illness, so we can sneak out the back and go get us some free candy, and hopefully they'll be gone by the time we get back!" Axel explained, gathering pillow cases for treat bags.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Roxas said warily as he watched Sora pull on Riku's tail, tugging it off just after he got it to stay on.

"Everything will be fine!" Axel said helpfully, slinging his arm over Roxas' shoulders. "We'll be home before you know it!"

-------((Meanwhile…))------

"Why wouldn't he be at his house again?" Agent 7 asked as they walked down the chaotic neighboring, filled to the brim with excited trick or treaters.

Agent 1 looked at him dryly. "Saix, we're the CIA for gods sakes. We know his whereabouts are somewhere on this street." Agent 1 perused the gaggles of trick or treaters around him. "Unfortunately, finding him could be easier said than done."

"They're teenagers, Xemnas, why would they go trick or treating?" Saix asked, confused.

"To hide," Xemnas quipped as they began their search.

------((Dun dun DUNN))----

"I haven't gone trick or treating since I was 7," Roxas muttered as they walked up to the next house.

"I feel young again!" Sora replied gleefully as he all but skipped up to the house. Riku stopped following momentarily to pick up his tail. "Trick or Treat!" Sora yelled, alerting the house members of their presence. An old man quietly opened the door.

"Ah shit guys," Riku muttered under his breath to his friends, "this is old man Vexen's house, we aren't going to get anything from here…"

Sora continued to be cheerful as the old man looked up at their faces before grumbling and reaching out with his gnarled hand to drop a few items into each of their bags.

Sora said thank you before leading the troupe down to the sidewalk. He peered into his bag, grinning. "Hey!" he called out, grin disappearing. "He gave us condoms, not candy!"

"Really?" Axel said, intrigued as he looked into his bag. "All right!" he looked over to give Roxas a high five, but was effectively ignored. Axel snickered. "You know Roxy, us Tiggers love to pounce…"

"How about I just kill you and save myself the trouble?" he grouched. Axel slumped, defeated, before he noticed the men in suits approaching. He ushered the group along faster. "Come on guys, they're coming this way! It's almost eight, we can make it! Hopefully they'll give up after trick or treating is over…"

However, in his haste to avoid the two men, he pushed Roxas who pushed into Sora who pushed into Riku, who dropped his tail and tripped on it, plowing straight into Saix. The two stood up and Saix dusted off his suit and righted himself.

"Are you alright?" he asked the Eeyore costume. Riku kept his head down, nodding. He looked over, and noticed that Axel, Roxas, and Sora were already heading to the next house, so he dashed off before Saix could say another word.

Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "What a shy child…"

"This is hopeless," Saix said, continuing to scan the children, "there's no way to find him! We have to stop this."

"He's not going to like it…" Xemnas argued half-heartedly.

"He shouldn't have sent us on this mission in the first place!" Saix defended, already walking back towards the car. "It's his problem!"

"You can tell him that when we get back," Xemnas said as he followed.

---------((wheeee))------

Eight o clock arrived as the gang arrived back at Riku's house. "We did it!" Axel said triumphantly as he dumped his candy out on the living room floor. "And we have rewards!"

Sora joined him in his candy merry-making as Roxas glared at him. "Would you like to tell us what the hell that was about?"

"My father sent them to retrieve me," Axel explained as he began to sort his candy, "my little sister wanted to go trick or treating, and he wanted me to dress up and go with her," he pulled out a Three Musketeers bar and began to much on it.

Roxas stared incredulously at him. "Your father sent CIA agents to get you to go…trick or treating with your…sister?"

Axel nodded. "Stupid isn't it?"

"So we went trick or treating so you wouldn't have to go trick or treating?"

"Exactly," Axel said, pulling his candy pile closer to himself. "A rather brilliant plan if I do say so myself.

Roxas faceplanted onto the couch.

-----------((End!))------------

Well that was nothing but silliness. I would like to say I'll get another one out soon, but I'm not so optimistic. LOVE TO ALL!

R and R my dears!

Wow! I forgot!

Last one: BODY Switching if i'm not mistaken!

_Leon snorted. "Like you should talk. Pink hearts? What, do you frequent a strip club?" _

~freaky-hanyou


	81. Upside Down: MarVexen & Everyone

HEY GUYS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! So I love how that although I'm on break I still have to WORK every bleeding day of break. So. Because of this there will be No Christmas suggestions this year. Let me say that again. _DON'T _give me 80 Christmas suggestions! Lol This year is just going wooooooosh and it seems im only updating on holidays. Lol, cept fall break that was just ridiculous.

AT any rate, im trying real hard to remember who won my little contest, and I know Akane is on that list so I think she's first and I was planning this out at work (which was retail ridiculous) SO its going to be this one. And I know Dark Deskull has one too but that's all I remember.

Im not going to say I might update CoB because I'll jinx it. ::knocks on wood:: (K so now an hour has passed and I still haven't started so that one will be tom nights job lol)

AHEM.

**What If…**

_Marluxia somehow made Vexen conduct an experiment_

_that would completely alter the entire normal_

_functioning pattern of their universe?_

_((As suggested by the lovely Akane))_

"Almost…got it…" Vexen grunted to himself in his quiet laboratory. All was business as usual in Castle Oblivion. Missions were being completed, Axel was being molestive, Demyx was writing songs for Zexion, and Vexen was thiiis close to finishing his potion to almost triple the process of regaining their hearts…

"I just need three drops of this potion," he muttered as he held the pink liquid over his concoction. "One, two,--"

"_Hey Vexen,"_ Marluxia whispered as he appeared behind Vexen, starting him out of his skin and causing him to drop the whole bottle of pink into the potion.

"Dammit Marluxia!" Vexen said, disgruntled as Marluxia tried to give him a proper hello of a kiss. Vexen, however, would take no such ministrations. "You just ruined my experiment!"

"Bah," Marluxia said dismissively as he ran his hand over Vexen's side, "You can worry about that later…"

"But it's important…" Vexen muttered as he leaned into Marluxia, pushing him towards the table. Marluxia turned to look at said potion. Picking it up, he gave it a shake.

"It doesn't look important at all," he said as he threw it away dismissively.

Vexen's eyes grew wide as the potion twirled through the air, heading fast for the floor. "Marluxia, no-!"

A loud explosion was heard through Castle Oblivion as it was enshrouded in a pink mist.

-------((Oh noes!))-------

Marluxia groaned as his eyes cracked open, taking in his surroundings. _What the hell…?_ He thought, confused, as he realized that he was tucked safely in his bed. His door opened, and Axel appeared bearing a tray with soup.

"Axel…?" Marluxia said confused as Axel set the tray before him.

"You're awake," Axel said, relieved, "we were worried about you and Vexen after we heard that explosion, but aside from a few bumps on the head, no harm done. We thought that you had—"

"_Oh Aaaaaaaxel!" _came from a voice in the hallway. Axel paled.

"He's looking for me again!" Axel whispered before running to hide in Marluxia's closet. "I'm not here!"

Just as he tucked himself behind Marluxia's clothes, Roxas popped his head in the door. "Oh, Marluxia! Good to see you awake! Is my darling Axel in here?" He scanned the room hopefully, looking for a flash of red.

When Marluxia shook his head in the negative, Roxas sighed. "Oh well, tell me if you see him then," Roxas said with a wink as he shut the door.

Axel sighed in relief as he tumbled out of the closet. "Thanks, he has been looking for me all day!"

"Did you raid his underwear drawer again?" Marluxia said sarcastically.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Actually I wouldn't be surprised if he raided mine…Why would I do that? He's been feeling me up all day!"

Before Marluxia could respond, Axel made for the door. "You finish that soup before you get out of bed. I'll see you at dinner!" Axel shut the door behind him and Marluxia stared at it, confused.

"_Axel, sunshine of my EXISTENCE!!"_ came from beyond the door as a thump was heard from someone being droptackled.

"Hey Rox," Marluxia heard Axel sigh as he let himself be dragged down the hallway while Roxas chatted about Zexion's latest clumsy mishap.

_What is going on here? _Marluxia thought as he began to eat his soup.

-----((fast forward thru soup eating))-----

Marluxia decided that he would stop by the laboratory to see how Vexen was faring. He didn't make it all the way to the lab, however…

"Hey gorgeous," someone whispered into Marluxia's ear as he turned the corner. Marluxia jumped and turned as he was pinned into the wall.

"Vexen!" Marluxia said, startled, "what are you--?"

"Nothing special," Vexen said, ghosting his fingers up Marluxia's sides and kissing his neck lightly before stepping completely away with a smirk. "Just saying hello," he said with a cheerful wink before strolling back towards his laboratory.

Marluxia blinked after him before he watched Zexion chase after Demyx towards the cafeteria.

"But Demy—"

"I've told you a _thousand _times, Number VI, I do my missions alone! I do not need your help with my sitar and," Demyx paused, looking up and down the hallway, but completely missing Marluxia. "I am perfectly straight!" he whispered urgently, blushing a light tinge of pink.

"But what about that time after dinner we—" Zexion whined lightly before Demyx cut him off.

"It was a simple lapse of judgment," Demyx explained matter-of-factly before strolling off down the hall with Zexion hot on his heels.

Marluxia blinked. Twice.

_Am I still unconscious?_

-------((oh dear))----

Dinner seemed normal enough. Marluxia watched with relief as things seemed normal, and Zexion contained himself near the head of the table. Vexen also seemed his stoic self as he only stole occasional glances at Marluxia before grinning deviously.

Suddenly, Axel jumped in his chair and glared across the table. "Roxas!" he hissed, "Stop that!"

Roxas whistled and innocently ate his ham. "I didn't do anything, Axel darling!"

"The hell you didn't," Axel grumbled.

Marluxia looked away from them, confused, only to find Zexion making longing faces at Demyx. Demyx rolled his eyes and steadfastly ate his dinner before leaving the dinner table without a word to him. Zexion sighed and returned to his dinner. Marluxia bewilderedly finished his own dinner before setting off to his room, not noticing he had someone following him.

"HEY!" he heard behind him.

"AAH!" He turned and saw Vexen smirking behind him. "Vexen! What do you need?" he asked. Vexen never talked to him unless he had absolute purpose to.

"Nothing," he said nonchalantly as he grabbed Marluxia's wrist and turned him so he lay tucked against him. "Just wanted to say hi," he whispered into his ear before kissing him deeply. Marluxia groaned as Vexen pressed him into the wall and angled his chin to deepen the kiss. Marluxia wrapped his arms tightly around Vexen's neck as Vexen lightly trailed kisses down his neck and ran his hands down Marluxia's chest before pulling back abruptly.

"Hi," he whispered before turning away to walk down the hall.

Marluxia shook himself. "Hey, why don't you tell me 'How are you?' later?"

Vexen turned and winked. "I just might."

Marluxia grinned and turned to go into his room. "I could get used to this…"

_Number XI…_

_NUMBER XI!_

"Marluxia! Wake up! I told you that potion was important!"

Marluxia slowly opened his eyes and found himself prone on Vexen's laboratory floor. "Dammit," he muttered as he slowly sat up. "It was just a dream…"

"What was just a dream?" Vexen said as he helped Marluxia stand up.

Marluxia looked at him before grinning evilly. "Nothing at all. So Vexen, how are you today?"

-------((END!))-------

Bwheeee to the end. I was trying to figure out how to make things to back to normal, but then I realized Marly wouldn't WANT things to go back to normal! XD

R AND R MY CHRISTMAS LOVELIES!

AND A MERRY EVE TO ALL!

Last one: The Underwear!

"_That was the fifth movie place in or near Twilight Town we can no longer go to because you haven't learned __you can't lean on the movie racks."_

~freaky-hanyou


	82. Freezing: AkuRoku

SO joy for you guys, I'm ridiculously bored right now. And unable to go out, which is probably a good thing because I was out until a ridiculous hour yesterday night. Lol.

And today at work was fun, cuz I gave blood and then almost passed out at work because I didn't eat anything. Yay me.

K here's IMPORTANT part that you have to read if you care. Lol. I have decided not to go in order on this ELEVEN PAGES OF WHAT IF-ERY that I have. So I'll be skipping around. I have also decided that after this one (cuz this ones pretty old), if I am able to PM you, I'll tell you if I do your idea. Unless your someone like Kiki or Zesty or theblkcat or Akane who I know will look. But this crazy just got crazier. XD

**What If…**

_Roxas and Axel got stuck in Vexen's fire-proof freezer?_

_((as suggested by the lovely DarkDeSkull))_

"I'm tellin you Rox, this'll be great!" Axel whispered conspiratorially as he snuck into Vexen's laboratory at midnight with Roxas, no doubt to impose mayhem.

"Somehow throwing a bucket of marbles all over the floor of Vexen's freezer does not sound appealing," Roxas said dryly as he followed Axel into the laboratory.

"But he'll destroy his own experiments!" Axel argued, "it would be his own fault! The plan is _foolproof!_" He opened the door to the freezer and peeked inside. "Man, there is some weeeeird things in here…" Axel crept inside, rubbing his arms, to peer into some of the jars. "Is that…a pair of Marluxia's underwear?"

Roxas, who was standing outside, leaning against the wall keeping watch (read: pouting), turned towards the door. "I don't believe it; let me see," he walked into the freezer to examine the supposed underwear. Unbeknownst to him, Roxas accidentally nudged the colossal door and it slowly began to creep closed behind him.

"That's not a pair of Marluxia's underwear," Roxas said matter-of-factly, "it's what happens to magazines when you drop them in starch and dye them thirteen different shades of pink."

Axel glared at him. "Otherwise known as Marluxia's underwear." He rolled his eyes. "Who would even _think _to do that?"

Roxas returned the glare with full force. "Who would think to throw marbles around a freezer?"

Axel sighed. "For the _last_ time, Roxy, _the plan is foolproof!_"

A forceful slam was heard as the solid steel door shut behind Roxas, hitherto locking them into the freezer.

"What. The. Fuck." Roxas said, turning to stare at the door in disbelief. Axel was not alarmed, and pushed Roxas out of the way to get closer to the door.

"Never fear, my dearest Roxy, your knight-in-shining Axel is here!" he proclaimed as he sent a Flurry of Dancing fire towards the door. However, instead of melting away, the door remained spotless and pristine. Axel's jaw dropped.

"Straight shootin', slick," Roxas said dryly as he dropped to the floor.

Axel remained staring at the door in disbelief until Roxas pulled him down alongside him. "It didn't work…"

Roxas nodded at Axel as if he just graduated preschool. "Duh. I bet if I tried to attack it with my Keyblades nothing would happen either. Vexen probably has every charm imaginable on that door."

"But strangely enough, a normal lock," Axel said, sighing. He then shivered involuntarily. "It's really cold in here…"

"We'll probably be stuck here for a few hours," Roxas calculated, "Vexen won't be here until morning. Great."

Axel began shivering even more. "No, Roxy, it's seriously really cold in here…"

Roxas turned to look at Axel. His lips were already turning blue. "Axel, what…?" Roxas was only mildly cold.

"My element is _flame,_ smart one," Axel chided gently, "of course I'm going to be affected…more…" he broke off to stop his teeth from chattering.

"But it's only vaguely cold in here!" Roxas protested, "You can't be that…cold…" Roxas noted while Axel broke into uncontrollable shivers, "Okay, you can be that cold."

"You know," Axel said, grinning through his shivers, "we can always huddle our naked bodies together for warmth," he explained.

Roxas sighed and for once did not argue as he began to unzip his jacket and remove his clothing. Axel nearly cried out in glee as his clothing came off as well.

"I swear, it's almost as if you did this on purpose," Roxas muttered as he laid out his jacket on the ground so they would not be on the cold floor.

"I stand by my foolproof marbles," Axel protested and followed Roxas to lay down on his coat. Once Axel was lying down, Roxas planted himself firmly atop him before piling the rest of their clothing over them. Axel smirked as his breath came out in short puffs of condensed air.

"See Rox?" he said grinning, "I feel warmer already…" he leaned into Roxas to steal a kiss. Roxas rolled his eyes before closing them and responding to Axel's kiss. He slowly brought his arms up to splay on Axel's chest, idly tracing random patterns. Axel's arms wrapped tightly around Roxas' waist, pulling him even closer for more warmth. Roxas held Axel down when he moved to flip their positions, however. He pulled away, smiling softly.

"You need to stay there Axel, it's warmer," Roxas reasoned before pushing down harder on Axel's chest with his hands.

Axel grinned. "I think you just like to dominate."

Roxas didn't reply before moving in for another kiss, wrapping a hand in Axel's hair.

Neither of them heard the whistling coming from outside the door.

"I swear, Vexen really needs to stop taking my undergarments for his experiments," Marluxia muttered to himself as he opened the door to the freezer with the key he 'borrowed.'

Roxas and Axel looked up, wide-eyed.

"Oh!" Marluxia said, surprised. He stared at them for a moment, winking, before turning back around and shutting the door. "Perhaps I'll come back later…"

---------------((End!))------------

WIN! I really couldn't see any other form of plot to add to make it longer really. Whee!

R AND R!

Now, my reviews tell me this quote is from _Rent!_

"_Have you and Zexion done any role-playing involving a chef, a spatula, and a plate of linguini?"_

~freaky-hanyou


	83. Dollar Tree: AkuRoku

HAH it hasn't been a month yet. AND I daresay I need to update this, because I always update/write something on the 4th of July for some strange reason. And before I update COB kiddies, I need to reread the whole thing. Don't worry its fine, I have written down everything I want in it because I knew this would happen, (I wrote the ending too lol).

So this isn't a What If in so many words, but it is…? Shut up I WORK at Dollar Tree, there's an old What If in this or I wouldn't have put it on the list. XD So here's the story.

_..Me and a friend of mine were at Dollar Tree in town. They had these big purple trash can things, and mops and brooms in the same aisle. So I was gonna be a blind person, with the can over my head and the broom as a cane so I didn't run into anything. My friend did the same, only she got a mop. And her big sister told us to fight, so we were blindly sword fighting in the middle of Dollar Tree…_

So.

**What If…**

_there were Dollar Tree shenanigans? _

_((as suggested by the darling ILoveNumber8))_

"I don't believe I'm doing this…" Roxas muttered as the automatic doors rolled open to the 'Dollar Tree' store. "I never should have agreed to take you shopping, Axel!" He said loud enough for his partner in crime to hear him, "Who knows what we're going to come out of here with?"

"Oh come on Rox, when have I ever been bad in a store?" Axel said innocently as they entered the establishment. Roxas rolled his eyes as memories from many video rental places bombarded him. "All we need are cleaning supplies," Axel continued, oblivious to Roxas' reverie, "and then we shall be out of here to carry on with…other…entertainments," he winked at Roxas as he grabbed a basket. "Sound like a plan?"

"I guess," Roxas said warily, as he allowed himself to be led through the store.

"Now which way is he cleaning supplies," Axel muttered, noting that the store was in fact quite large.

"How about we ask someone?" Roxas suggested, pointing at the cashier.

"Nah," Axel said dismissively as he took off in a random direction. "How can you call yourself a man if you ask for directions? No, we can find it. All we need to do is loo—Oooh, what is this?" Axel said as he stopped abruptly. He looked down at the item of the day advertisement, which demonstrated an animal that grew 600 percent of its original size once it was placed in water.

"Psst," Axel whispered to Roxas as he winked, "I know something that grows without being placed in water…"

Roxas smacked him and continued to walk towards the aisles. "Lets see, this appears to be all summer stuff, party stuff," he continued to peruse the aisles, "toys…"

"HOLD THE PHONE!" Axel said, pulling Roxas to a complete stop. "_Toys?_ I think we need to check this out…" He dragged Roxas down the aisle, amazed at all the toys the place had to offer.

"LOOK ROXY!" Axel said, slowly amping it up to hyper mode, "a ninja star! Can we get some?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel, they're plastic."

"So?"

"No. You have real weapons. You do not need fake ones." But Axel was not listening. He had already picked up a fake plastic sword ensconced in a fake plastic sheath. He modeled it at Roxas, grinning suggestively as he made a lewd gesture with it. "Oh stop that," Roxas said, turning a mild shade of pink.

"Fine," Axel said as he moved to put it down. However, a sudden bolt of inspiration hit him. "ROXAS it's a NEW KIND OF WEAPON, check it out!" He held the sword and sheath as one and whipped it in Roxas' direction. Just as Axel had planned, the sheath flew off the sword. However, instead of hitting its intended target, Roxas, the light plastic sailed over Roxas to the next aisle over. A crash was heard as Roxas glared at Axel. Axel quickly put the sword down and disappeared with Roxas into a portal, appearing on the opposite side of the store.

"Hey look! The cleaning supplies! Convenient…" Axel consulted his list as he saw what they needed. "We need a mop."

"We should probably get a bucket too, just in case." Roxas picked up a bucket, and threw it at Axel. Axel, ever the genius, decided to catch it with his head.

"Ta da!" he said. Roxas then threw the mop as well, satisfied when it hit him across the head with a resounding clang. Axel, seeking retaliation, began blindly swinging the mop, aiming to hit Roxas. Roxas quickly moved to snatch the mop from his hands before he knocked down the entire aisle. Grabbing a container of soap, he ushered him away from the danger zone.

"Can't I take you to a store without you tearing it down?" Roxas asked impatiently.

"What can I say," Axel smirked sheepishly, "it's a curse…" they turned the next aisle and Axel gaped in awe. "Look at all the food…"

Axel went into overload from the junk food possibilities, and quickly began to fill up his basket with all sorts of munchies. In his excitement, he nearly toppled over a worker who was placing food on the shelves.

"Excuse me," he asked her, trying to be polite. "How much is this?" he asked while holding up a bag of potato chips.

"A dollar," she said without even looking.

"And this?" he held up the pretzels.

She turned to him, putting down her box. "A dollar."

"What about this?" he held up a bag of sunflower seeds.

"Also a dollar."

"What about—"

"_Can't you see that everything is a dollar?!"_ Roxas asked impatiently. The girl smiled knowingly as the two continued down the aisle. She rolled her eyes as they passed her and continued with her work. "Now come on, let's get out of here before you destroy the place…" he muttered, seeing the check out in sight.

"But Roxy, this place is cool!" Axel protested.

"Well, maybe we can come back some day, if you're good."

"How good?"

"No sexual propositions for a week."

"Oh, we're never coming back here."

Roxas laughed as they paid for their purchases.

--------------------((End!))---------------------

Yes yes short, and OMG THEY DON'T MAKE OUT WHAT?! Theyre in the middle of Dollar Tree for gods sakes, never have I once ran into anyone getting down with it in a aisle. Lol. But the sheath launching? Yeah I did that. It launched into the next aisle over, luckily no one was there. AND I MAKE AN APPEARANCE! I'm the girl. WHEE! And I get that question every freaking day.

REVIEW MY DEARS!

Last time was indeed Crossdressing!

"_You want me to…regularly…buy you your…KY?" _


	84. Dr Seuss: MarVexen

I have been bitten by the fanfiction bug. Xcore. Lol. I've been reading and reading and reading and trying desperately not to think of story ideas because when I plot out a story I forget it and this is a very sad thing. Lol. You people have been giving me such good suggestions! Some have made me lol. I will get there, never you worry! XD

In other news, OMG HARRY POTTER TOMORROW NIGHT SKLFJSDKJFKSDKF I am dressing as Tonks. Pink hair=win.

So this one is one of the ones that have been bothering me to do, cuz theres a lot of option for hilarity…btw in the beginning it kinda hints at the crazy things that Vexen does to Roxas in the Mind series, if you're curious do check it out. Lol (Mind Reading, Mind Watching, Mind Acting) XD

**What If…**

_One of Vexen's experiments backfired and he could only speak in rhyme?_

_((as suggested by the lovely OnlyInThisLight))_

"Axel!" Roxas whispered urgently as he followed the said Flurry of Dancing Flames down the stairs, "Axel, we really shouldn't be doing this!"

Axel snorted as he continued his 'stealthy' (read: elephant stampede) journey into the dark laboratory. "Really Rox? You of all people should want Vexen to suffer from one of his experiments. Think of how many times he has used you as a test subject!"

Roxas pinked, trying to focus on the task at hand and not his various test results. "That's not the point! He knew what was going to happen when he used those potions! You are just—"

"Going to throw random potions together!" Axel finished for him as he reached the lab and grabbed a bottle with pink liquid inside. "That's the perfect plan. Maximum retribution."

"But you could hurt him!" Roxas said, trying his last defense.

"And this is a problem?" Axel raised an eyebrow as he mixed the pink with a blue one.

Roxas paused. "….Fine," he said as he grabbed a purple one, "Add this one."

---------((breakfast the next morning))------

Vexen grumbled to himself as he marched into the cafeteria for his breakfast. Vexen was never happy until he had his morning dose of coffee. He nearly stomped his way into the kitchen to make his way to the refrigerator, which held his own special coffee. He even had written on the thermos: Vexen's Coffee: Drink and Wake up Purple to stave off the occasional offender.

He sighed happily to himself as he poured a cup for himself. Because he glanced to the side to receive a wink of a morning greeting from Marluxia, Vexen missed the telltale green smoke that erupted from his coffee mug. Taking a sip, he moved to join the others at the table. _Hmm..this tastes like it has some extra flavor…_ Vexen paused as he stared at the cup. _Maybe I added too much creamer to this batch…_ he continued to muse as he sat and reached for the pancakes. He found that he could not reach the butter.

"Could you pass the butter, Number XI?" he asked Marluxia, "You are much closer to it than Number VII." Saix raised an eyebrow at his strange inclusion in Vexen's comment, but did not comment. Axel however, who had been surreptitiously watching Vexen since sat down, nearly choked on his bacon to hide his laughter.

"How is your experiment progressing, Number IV?" The Superior asked Vexen conversationally.

"I am finding no trouble sir; the results should be completed today, as it were," Vexen replied. _Why am I speaking in rhyme? _He mused at his strange speech pattern.

Marluxia noticed as well. "What's wrong Vexen? Do you feel the urge to be Dr. Seuss today?"

Vexen feigned indifference. "I do not know to what you refer, but if you will excuse me there is some work that I must cater to, monsieur." Even Vexen looked incredulous as his sentence came out of his mouth.

Marluxia burst into laughter. "_Monsieur?_ Why thank you for your kindness, mademoiselle." He bowed to Vexen, who blushed and disappeared into his laboratory.

-------------((down in the lab))-------

"Why am I speaking in rhyme?" Vexen muttered to himself as he set off to continue his experiment, "this is nothing but a waste of time!" He slammed his book down in frustration. _I need to focus on this._

"I need to pay attention," he resolved, "or surely, I will have no retention."

He then resolutely set to work. So absorbed he was in his work, that he did not notice a familiar visitor enter…

"From there to here, here to there, funny things are everywhere!" Marluxia shouted, reading from a printout titled 'Dr. Seuss Quotes'. Vexen looked up, startled. "I figured since you want to speak in rhymes, I should entertain myself by keeping up with you!"

"Stop this nonsense this second!" Vexen argued, trying to turn back to his work, "This will never get done then, I reckon…"

"When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad... You should do what I do," Marluxia replied, winking as he approached.

"What do you do?" Vexen asked quietly, turning cautiously before Marluxia captured him in an embrace. He sighed. "I suppose I already knew…"

Marluxia pulled Vexen in closer for a kiss as he read, "If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good…"

"Oh stop your nonsense and do what you need," Vexen replied, "quick while I still concede." Marluxia did not need to be told twice as he sealed his lips over Vexen's, pushing him yet again against the table, rattling the test tubes and beakers.

--------------((Meanwhile))-------------

"Do we really need to watch this anymore, Axel?" Roxas said from their hidden spot on the stairs, "It's stopped being funny and started being disgusting…"

Axel shushed him and dragged him upstairs to his bedroom. "Don't worry my dear Roxy! I'll distract you from those awful mental images!"

-------------((Meanwhile again))--------

Vexen groaned as Marluxia slowly unzipped his jacket and slipped his hand in side, smoothly caressing his chest. "Marluxia……I need to get this work done, I insist…" he gasped when his jacket slid from his shoulder to lay against his waist, "but I'm finding this a little hard to resist…"

Marluxia grinned to himself as he planted small kisses on Vexen's neck, making a trail down his collarbone. "Maybe your rhymes aren't so bad…"

"Marluxia! Stop raping Vexen and get up here! We have an assignment to take care of!" Larxene's voice grated against Marluxia's ears as he reluctantly let Vexen go. He sighed as he started to head toward the stairs. Vexen sighed in half frustration as he turned back to his work. Marluxia, however, stopped at the stairs with a final quote:

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."

-----------------((End!))--------------

Don't worry. I figure his potion will wear off after a while. XD

This one reminds me of How Vexen stole Christmas, lol.

LEAVE ME LOVE!!

Last one was the Bike Rack! You get a cookie if you get this one...

"_Marluxia?"_

_Marluxia turned around, smiling his usual 'I'm-always-hiding-secrets' look. "Yes, Number VI?"_

"_Did you give me a Christmas present?"_

~freaky-hanyou


	85. Breakfast: AkuRoku

I am so bored. Good for you people. Lol. Go check CoB, I updated it and find the reviews lacking. XD That's why I try to update in pairs, because people check both that way. Anyway, we are approaching a thousand here people! I need suggestions for celebration!

In lieu of the last chapter, I need to share Akane's lovely rhyme with you:  
_Listen, writer, keep on going, you'd do well to stop this slowing. _

_Thinking in my bed each night, I dream requests for you to write! _

_Write more of Akuroku jokes, potions going up in smoke. _

_Or perhaps of four again, the bad guy surely sometimes wins._

_Eleven and his tales gay (happy), born to make men go astray._

_Or maybe, writer, you like best, the stories made for honest jest!_

But heed me writer, listen here, lend me quick your wizened ear.

_Tarry not and write more soon, more of Saix and his moon,_

_more of Xemnas and his dreams, more of Demyx and his sea,_

_more on Akuroku love, more on heart-shaped moons above._

_Keep on, writer, and rejoice! People love your written voice._

::run around flailing in squee:: That is win. XD

So anyway, I feel my lols haven't been up to par in a while. I hope this chapter will meet my expectations. ::sniggles::

**What If…**

_Roxas was extremely bored, and became very suggestive_

_In a really inappropriate situation?_

_((as suggested by the dear uppiguppi))_

Roxas rolled over to his beeping alarm clock, casually hitting the off button. He sighed to himself as he dressed for breakfast. _Another boring day. Wake up, breakfast, Axel hits on me, mission, Axel hits on me, lunch, Axel hits on me--…_

He stopped his predictable train of thoughts as an idea struck him. _Waaait. What if I…shuffled that order around? I'm sure the day would be more interesting._

Roxas almost skipped to breakfast with an evil glint in his eye.

--------------------((Here we go))-------------

Sausage. Pancakes. Milk.

Breakfast.

Roxas was well prepared for when Axel tiredly crashed into his seat across from him.

"Mornin, sunshine," Roxas sat, winking as Axel sat down. Axel confusedly raised an eyebrow and reached for the coffee.

"Morning, Roxy," he replied scatchily, "I never knew you to be so…chipper in the morning," he commented.

"You'd be surprised," Roxas said mysteriously as he began to tuck into his breakfast. Axel looked at him quizzically and took a sip of his coffee before striking up a conversation with Demyx.

_This ought to get his attention, _Roxas thought to himself before picking up his sausage with the fork. He cleared his throat softly, making sure Axel was paying attention. Axel turned away from Demyx to glance at Roxas, who seemed to be contemplating all the particular facets of his sausage.

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Axel commented, slowly gaining his first caffeine buzz.

Roxas ignored him as he tentatively put the tip of the sausage in his mouth. Axel twitched involuntarily. _What the hell is he doing…_ Axel nodded absently to whatever Demyx was saying, his attention focused solely on Roxas.

_Here we go, _Roxas said, hiding a grin. Roxas continued to suck on the sausage before sucking the whole thing into his mouth whole, chewing thoughtfully. Axel, who was taking a sip of coffee at the time, coughed violently. Demyx, innocently unaware of the exchange, thumped his hand against Axel's back.

_Next, _Roxas thought cheerfully, as he cut a small square off his pancake and saturated it in syrup. Axel, who had recovered somewhat, tried to resume his conversation with Demyx. He still, however, kept a careful eye on Roxas, who slowly brought the pancake square to his lips. A drop of syrup was in danger of falling into his lap; Roxas' tongue shot out of his mouth and licked away the drop.

Axel twitched violently, sending his coffee falling into his lap. He stood as he grabbed his napkin, cursing. Demyx raised an eyebrow at Axel's deathly habits this morning, but said nothing.

Roxas nearly cackled with glee. _And now for the final touch. _Roxas then took a huge swig of milk, leaving a thick white moustache on his lips. He then slowly licked it off, smacking his lips and winking. Axel stood up, expression unreadable, before storming out of the cafeteria.

Roxas burst into laugher.

Demyx, however, was clearly confused. "What'd I say?"

-----------------((The End))--------------

Ahahahha Oh man. ::dies laughing:: Short, but I cannot continue. I now challenge you to go count the one liners. I lolled.

LEAVE LOVE!! ::goes to make pancakes::

Last was indeed The Cookie Sutra:

"_Why the hell would someone have sex on the side of the road?" he continued, more to himself._

_Sora, unfortunately, heard him. "Many reasons Riku! Don't you remember that one time it was hot and the air conditioner was broken so we—"_

"_Yes,__ Sora, I remember," Riku said quickly, cutting him off before more people stared at him._

~freaky-hanyou


	86. Snow Tubing: Zemyx

I've been bitten by the fanfiction bug. Which is awesome because I have an entire week of (college!) break. And I'm not working. And I have (almost) NOTHING to occupy myself with but books, video games, and FANFICTION! (And my guitar XD).

So.

I have ideas _simmering_. And I'm stickin to these oneshots, because lord knows I don't update like I should. But I'm still here. : )

Let's get to it!

**What If…**

_Zexy and Demyx went snow tubing?_

_((as suggested by the lovely HyperKid))_

"Zexy."

"Zexy."

"Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexy."

"_ZEXY!!_"

"_WHAT?_" The man in question replied harshly before automatically switching to his 'oops-I'm-in-the-library' voice, "I mean, _yes, Demyx?_" Zexion said with forced hushed sweetness. "What do you need?"

Demyx grinned. "Have you looked out the window lately?" Zexion raised an eyebrow.

"Of course not," he replied, returning to his book, "why would I bother with this dreadful snowy weather we've been having?"

Demyx looked affronted. "_Dreadful?_ Zexion! I am shocked! This weather is anything but dreadful!"

Zexion shook his head at Demyx's antics and returned to his book. Demyx took the book from him.

"Number IX!" Zexion exclaimed, reaching for his book, but to no avail. He sighed. "What do you want?"

Demyx gave him an 'angelic' expression. "Only for you to come out of this library and spend some 'quality' time with me…"

Zexion paused. He could not help but wonder at what kind of quality time Demyx was referring to.

"Will this quality time be…enjoyable?" Zexion questioned.

"Most definitely," Demyx confirmed. "With my help of course," he winked.

Zexion stood up from his chair. "I suppose it would do me good to leave this library for a while; it sounds like I have valid incentive…"

-----------((::snickers::))-------------

"Number IX," Zexion ground out as he stood out in the snowy tundra in front of a sharp hill bedecked in snow pants, boots, coat, and a neon yellow hat, "_what_ are we doing?"

"Snow tubing of course!" Demyx exclaimed happily, "I was able to muster a few sleds from Twilight Town as well!"

Zexion twitched . "I do not find this enjoyable!"

Demyx smirked, fully aware that he had duped Zexion. "Oh come on Zexy! Where's your sense of fun and adventure?"

Zexion stared at him sardonically. "I was made without one. Birth defect."

Demyx rolled his eyes and sat him down in a black snow tube. "Trust me, you'll have fun." Then, Demyx proceeded to give him a push down the hill.

"Hey-woah!" Zexion started as he careened down the hill. "What do I hold on to--?" He futilely gripped the sides, speeding down the hillside. He landed safely at the bottom. Soon after, Demyx, riding a blue sled made of plastic built for speed, skidded to a stop next to him.

"Admit it; that was fun!" Demyx said, already getting up to go down the next side of the hill.

Zexion did not reply but dutifully followed Demyx up the hill.

Once arriving at the top of the hill, Demyx turned to Zexion, grinning deviously. "Are you ready for the _truly_ fun part of this hill?" he asked , smirking.

Zexion looked at him warily. "I can only imagine what that could possibly be," he replied cautiously. He sat down on his tube to go down the hill again, but Demyx stopped him and directed him to the opposite side of the hill.

"Go down this side! It's…special!" Demyx said, and before Zexion could reply, he pushed him forward, starting his descent down the hill.

Zexion sighed. _This isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be…_ he thought, although he would never admit it aloud to Demyx, of course. _It is slightly enjoyable…what in the world?_ His musings were interrupted as he saw a suspicious white lump in his path. As he sped closer, he realized it was a ramp. Unless he wanted to jump ship, avoiding going off said ramp was impossible.

"_Demyx!_" Zexion shouted as he flew off the ramp, sprawling mid-air, flying off his tube, and landing on his back in the hard packed snow. Demyx was close behind, shooting off the ramp with his blue sled, spinning in midair, and landing back on the sled. Zexion could not help but be impressed. Demyx slowed next to Zexion's prone form, smirking.

"Demyx, you—didn't that hurt?" Zexion asked, momentarily distracted from his ire.

"Nope!" Demyx grinned, "Anything's possible if you practice enough!"

Zexion remembered his anger. "Demyx, that hurt! Why didn't you warn me, or at least give me something to _hold on_ to?!"

"Because the landing is part of the fun!" Demyx said, giggling at Zexion's shocked expression.

"You are insane."

"Only after dinner."

"We haven't eaten dinner, Demyx."

"…On weekends then."

"It's Tuesday."

"You know what I mean!" Demyx said, exasperated at having to work so hard at making a witty retort. "Let's go again!" he said, already dragging Zexion back up the hill.

"I'm cold, Demyx, I think we should stop," Zexion said, resisting.

"One more time, Zexy," Demyx replied, "We'll go down together!" Demyx sat down in the black tube, pulling Zexion down on top of him, "This is another fun part!"

"I thought there was no 'not fun' part for you," Zexion replied dryly as Demyx started to push them down the hill. "Wait, Demyx, are we going down the—"

"WOOOOOO!!!" Demyx cheered as he and Zexion raced for the ramp. Zexion tried to brace himself for impact, but the only thing to hold onto was Demyx, who was also mobile. The two hit the ramp and flew into the air. Demyx shifted in the air, pulling Zexion with him as the two tumbled into the snow, rolling slightly down the hill. Demyx controlled the roll until they stopped near the bottom with Demyx resting atop Zexion.

Demyx smirked. "I promised you it would be….enjoyable, didn't I?"

Zexion started, but Demyx was too quick and swiftly leaned in for a kiss. Placing his arms on either side of Zexion's head, Demyx worked his mouth languidly over Zexion's, slowly destroying Zexion with his mouth. Zexion's hands automatically wrapped around Demyx's shoulders, searching for purchase. Demyx smirked into the kiss before reluctantly pulling away.

"I think if we stay here you'll get hypothermia," Demyx explained, standing and helping Zexion up.

Zexion agreed, summoning a portal directly into the castle. "I suppose I could find a more…appropriate venue, don't you agree?"

Demyx smirked before going towards the portal. "I could think of a few. Shall we?" He said, holding out his arm for Zexion.

Zexion grinned and linked arms with Demyx.

------------------------((End!!))-------------

So I kinda thought Demyx would be good in snow, water element and all. And if ANYONE can do tricks of a snow ramp, I love you. Lol. I'M the person who crazy flails off it. XD

Karma didn't want me to write, my spacebar like, failed, and after I "fixed" it, (its still odd), it would work ANYWHERE BUT THIS DOCUMENT. The irony made me lol.

R AND R MY DEARS! I hope you're still there too!

Last one was Earth Day. : )

This is a hard one…

"_I'm not tired!" Sora shrugged as he snuggled with Riku on his bed. "Let's do something else," he said, winking._

_Riku held him still. "One minute you're holding out, the next minute you're giving it away…" Riku muttered. "You need to rest!"_

"_Nu-uh!"_

_Riku growled. "What will it take to get you to fall asleep?"_

_Sora gave him a conspiratorial look and whispered something in his ear. Riku's eyes widened as he blushed. "…I don't think I could bend that way Sora…I don't think that's even __legal…"_


	87. Edward Cullen: Zemyx

You know. I wasn't going to post this. Here I am, all excited that I updated, and I get one review. And I told myself if I get one review, then I will go two days in a row. My Microsoft Word isn't even working for goodness sakes and I'm still finding a way. This means I don't have my LIST. The LIST of all the WHAT IFS. I am WINGING (read: doing a recent one I was going to do next anyways) it here.

So this chapter is all for Kiki, who ACTUALLY reviewed.

It will also be dedicated to anyone who reviews the last chapter. Cookie for you. XD

Oh yes. This has Twilight ripping. XD Oh, I don't own the books mentioned in here. And I couldn't get the What If centered without Word, but I don't feel like you mind, hehee.

Ahem.

**What If...**

_ Demyx fell in love with Edward Cullen after reading Twilight?  
((as suggested by the brilliant Tayberry))_

All was quiet in the library. Zexion counted his blessings as he blissfully read his book (research, if you must know) quietly in his favorite chair. This was a miracle because Demyx was sitting beside him, also quietly reading a romance novel. Zexion decided to risk the silence and peek over at the Melodious Nocturne. His blonde hair gently framed his concentrated expression; he was completely immersed in his fictional world. Zexion frowned as he looked at the scandalous cover of the novel. _I hate to press my luck, _Zexion thought as he continued to peruse the cover, _but when he is calm and focused is the best time to discuss such matters._

"Demyx?" Zexion asked quietly, still loathe to lose the companiable silence.

Demyx blinked, inwardly shaking himself back into the real world. "Yes, Zexy?"

"Why do you read those books?"

Demyx looked confused. "Because I enjoy them...? I don't see the problem--"

"That's not what I meant," Zexion corrected himself, "I mean, why do you _exclusively _read romance novels? You've never tried to read anything less..." For once, Zexion stumbled for an appropriate word.

"Explicit?" Demyx said, grinning. "I've never heard you complain before about what I've learned from these books, especially when--"

"What I am saying," Zexion said, blushing as he cut him off, "is that I think you should try to find something new. Expand your horizons."

Demyx stared at him for a minute. "All right," he said slowly, "only if you'll read one of my romance novels."

Zexion paused. "....Fair enough," he conceded. "You pick a book that is more worthwhile than your....novels," he said, loathe to even put them on the same level with meaningful fiction, "and I shall read one of them."

"It's a deal."

-------------((fast forward!))--------

Zexion looked down at the romance novel with disgust. _The Reckless One, _it was entitled. Zexion sighed as he settled down on his bed to start reading. A few hours later, he was nearly completed with the book. He was an extremely fast reader, after all.

"_He'd shown her the most exquisite care, given her profound pleasure, and taught her passion. She'd taken all he had to give and offered nothing in return. Except her love, and that she gave in abundance. Now she wanted to please him, to show him her love in the most intimate way possible..._"

"My goodness..." Zexion muttered as he read a rather...Ahem...scene. _No _wonder _Demyx renders me senseless every time he--_Zexion blushed at his own train of thought. Zexion put down the book, opting for a rest to discover what book Demyx had decided to read.

--------------((to Demyx's room!))--------

Zexion entered Demyx's room to discover that it was as silent as a funeral wake. He found Demyx sprawled on his stomach on the bed, his book propped on a pillow before him. Whatever he was reading, he was nearly done with it.

"Demyx...?"

"SH!!" Demyx said, cutting him off, "Go away! I'm at the climax of the book!" Demyx rolled over to his side, effectively shutting Zexion out.

Zexion sighed before returning to his room to finish his romance novel.

-------------------((in the dead of night XD))--------------------

Zexion couldn't sleep. The romance novel had filled him with...thoughts. That's it, thoughts. That he needed to discuss with Demyx. Immediately.

_He has to be done with that book by now, _Zexion thought as he summoned a portal to Demyx's room, _I wonder what it is?_

Upon arriving in Demyx's room, Zexion discovered that he was already asleep. However, Demyx, being a light sleeper, opened his eyes the moment he heard the portal close. "Zexion...?"

"I...couldn't sleep," he said, blushing slightly before crawling into bed with Demyx, who scooted to the far side of the bed, waiting for Zexion to wrap his arms around him.

"Why are you here, Zexy?" Demyx asked, not harshly, but simply confused.

Zexion's blush returned. "I, uh," for once Zexion was at a loss for words, "I finished your book."

Demyx's eyes lightened with understanding before quickly becoming devious. "Really," he said, shifting to a more predatory position, "Did you _enjoy_ it?"

"Indeed," Zexion said, moving ever closer to Demyx. However, he was still curious about Demyx's book. "Did you finish yours?"

Demyx, already switching into romance mode, nodded distractedly.

"What was it?"

"_Twilight_," Demyx replied before making a trail of kisses up Zexion's neck.

Zexion tried with no avail to stay on task. "_Twilight_? What's Twi---" Zexion completely forgot what he was going to say as Demyx closed in for a kiss.

------------((the next day))----------

Zexion sat in the cafeteria, eating lunch and researching quietly. _I liked that book more than I thought I would, _he thought to himself, _but I have work to do. I wonder what Demyx's book was about though...I am well versed in the classics of fiction and I don't think I have ever heard of that particular novel. _Research forgotten, Zexion became lost in his musings about what Demyx's book could possibly be about.

_Maybe a mystery occurs, and the heroine must solve it before twilight? Maybe Twilight refers to a military code, and it is a historical novel..._However, his musings were abruptly interrupted by Demyx's entrance into the cafeteria. His cloak was open, revealing a plain black T-shirt bearing the inscription _Team Edward._

Zexion was confused as Demyx sat down for lunch and relayed a greeting. "Who's Edward?" Zexion inquired.

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "He's the gorgeous marble beefcake hero from my novel of course! I've already started the second book and I hate Jacob already; I can't believe that---why do you look like that?"

Zexion was startled. "Beefcake...hero? Made of marble? What sort of novel is this?"

"_You've never read it?_" Demyx all but screeched, before standing abruptly. "You must!" Before Zexion could protest, Demyx had disappeared to get the book for Zexion.

----------------((some hours later))----------

Zexion closed _Twilight,_ clearly in shock. _That. _Thing. _Was Demyx's idea of a _novel? _I've never read such trash before. The plot is minimal and downplayed, and I lost count of the ridiculous plot holes. He said there was _more_ to this? A series? I need to talk to him. _Immediately Zexion summoned a portal to Demyx's room. He found said man sprawled on his bed, reading a book entitled _New Moon._

"Demyx."

Demyx ignored him, engrossed in the book.

"_Demyx."_

Demyx turned over.

Zexion approached the bed and turned him back, ripping the book out of his hands. "_This _is your idea of a novel of worth?! You have got to be kidding."

Demyx was clearly insulted. "It is!"

Zexion snorted. "It is a preteen romance novel."

"It is a true love story!"

"The vampires sparkle."

"That's their revealing trait, it is essential to the series!"

Zexion just managed to refrain from rolling his eyes. "The plotholes are numerous."

"Like what?" Demyx accused.

"They travel to _Arizona's airport_ in broad daylight?"

"It's possible!" Demyx protested.

Zexion sighed. "The dialogue was arcane!!"

"Was not! How can you say--"

"_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb?"_

"It is an exemplification of their love! And its improbability!"

Zexion twitched. "And your...._hero?_ This Edward Cullen? She keeps comparing him to _marble,_ how is that a turn on? He keeps refraining from killing her!"

Demyx stood in anger. "Don't you dare insult Edward. I love him."

Zexion threw up his hands in exasperation. "You are impossible. Go ahead. Read your terrible series. I will be in the library, reading something _worthwhile._"

He stormed out of the room, opting to use the door so he could slam it.

-----------------------((a week later))--------------------

Demyx refused to speak to Zexion until he apologized for his terrible slander of _Twilight._ This, Zexion had no intention of doing. _This is ridiculous. I am not going to apologize about slandering some ridiculous fictional character---_

He stopped his own train of thought, sighing slightly. _I am lonely though...not that I'd tell him. _Just then, a portal appeared in the library. Zexion nearly fell out of his chair when he saw it was Demyx, looking apologetic. Zexion raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something.

"I'm....sorry," Demyx said finally. "You were right."

Zexion could barely contain his surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. The last book in the series made me realize how right you were."

"...How?" Zexion asked, still confused.

"Well, Bella ended up having this half vampire child named Renesmee, and Jacob---"

"Never mind," Zexion said, opening his arms for Demyx to come sit on his lap, "I don't want to know."

-----------------------((End!))-------------------

BWAHAHA Twilight ripping makes me happy. And don't you dare try to tell me that they are quality novels; they are not. My ROMANCE novels are better (BTW The one in this story is one I am reading currently XD)

You. Out there. Review. Kthx. XD Let me know you still love!

Last one: The Sickness!

Easy one:  
_  
"Number __IX," Zexion ground out, "I am not putting on the wingies."_

~freaky-hanyou


	88. Sundaes: AkuRoku

Thank you. I asked for reviews, and I got more than 5. This makes me happy enough to push out another story before I am forced to return to school and busy-ness. Although I have many many ideas now simmering around in there, and let me put it this way. The more you review, the more I think of your name, and the more likely I'll do one of your stories. Although the few I have in mind are a ways back in the list, they have much…potential. XD

Without further ado…

Oh wait. PS This chapter is a throwback to something said in Chapter 80…And will probably be short, Twilight stole my long chapter. Heehee.

**What If…**

_this authoress described what happened between Axel and Roxas_

_involving Axel's dad catching them in the kitchen from Chapter 80?_

_((as suggested by the marvelous Kiki Lelsissia))_

"_But…why?" Roxas asked, desiring to hear all the facts. "This isn't because of the time your dad caught us in the kitchen with the ice cream and the—"_

"_No," Axel said, cutting him off hastily and blushing slightly…_

* * *

"Axel, just because I said I was hungry does not give you the excuse to break out the crazy in the kitchen," Roxas said to his boyfriend in exasperation as they entered the kitchen.

"Oh come on Rox," Axel replied, "learn to have fun once in a while. Now," he began as he donned an apron saying 'I heart cooking' with the heart for cooking replaced by a heart made of flames, "What are you in the mood for? My dad tells me I can be quite the accomplished cook when I want to…" He smirked.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Actually, I'm really just in the mood for dessert, actually. What have you got?" he asked as he sat down on a bar stool in front of the island.

"There's always ice cream…" Roxas watched as the idea light bulb turned on over Axel's head. "Sundaes it is!" He hurriedly moved about the kitchen to gather the supplies.

"Sounds good," Roxas said offhandedly as he propped his face between his hands on the counter, "just not too big of one, I don't want to make a mess—why the hell are you pulling out a spatula?" Indeed, among his supplies Axel had pulled out a mixing bowl and spatula.

"What?" Axel said, wondering why he was coming under fire, "when I make sundaes, I mix in the toppings! It tastes better that way."

Roxas looked offronted. "No it doesn't," he started, rising from his stool, "it just tastes like blended ice cream then. It'll taste like nothing! Let me make them," he tried to take the ice cream from Axel, who had just taken the container out of the freezer.

"No, I'll make them," Axel said, pulling away from Roxas and running to the other side of the island.

"No, you'll ruin them! Let me do it," Roxas followed Axel to the other side of the island; Axel held the ice cream high out of Roxas' reach.

"Try and stop me," Axel said, winking. For some reason, Axel's inadvertent mockery of Roxas' stature alighted a spark of anger inside him. Roxas cried out in frustration before full on tackling Axel straight onto the island counter. Axel, surprised at his newfound position below Roxas _on the counter_ caused him to loosen his grip on the ice cream. Roxas grabbed the tub in victory. As an afterthought, he also reached for the spatula Axel had put amongst the supplies on the table.

He grinned devilishly down at his prisoner. "Now you don't get any," he said as he opened the tub, scooped out a mouthful, and licked it from the spatula.

The combination of Roxas' position above him and him licking the ice cream off the spatula abruptly sent Axel into overdrive. He quickly switched their positions, pinning Roxas to the counter below him.

"Now you've done it," he murmured seductively into Roxas' ear as he grabbed the ice cream and spatula from him.

"What?" Roxas asked innocently.

_Too_ innocently.

_He is so going to pay, _Axel thought, abruptly ripping off Roxas' shirt.

Roxas started at the sudden loss of clothing, squirming underneath Axel. "What the he—"

Axel cut him off with a scorching kiss, completely silencing all protest. He pulled back abruptly before scooping out a small amount of ice cream and spreading it on Roxas' face.

"Hey!" Roxas protested, squirming under the cold of the frozen treat. Axel put the tub down, reaching for the chocolate and strawberry syrups. He added them to the mix, spreading them all the way down to Roxas' abdomen.

"_You're_ my sundae now," Axel murmured as he slowly leaned down to nibble the ice cream off of Roxas' face. As soon as he was licked clean, Axel bypassed Roxas' hungry look and began to slowly lick the strawberry syrup from Roxas' neck. Roxas gripped Axel's shoulders, already anticipating Axel's next move—

"Axel, I'm home! How was your da—_Axel?_"

Axel abruptly leapt off the counter, hiding Roxas from his Dad's view. "Uh, hi Dad," Axel said, blushing.

"What in the world were you _doing?_"

"Just having a sundae," Axel replied, grinning.

---------------((End))-------------

So I realized as I was writing that, this story is still rated T and the father needs to come in, _soon._ Haha. Maybe I should up the rating. Thoughts?

Review!!

Last one was indeed Lessons!

"_That's right, Roxas, always loving the meat…" he winked and Roxas groaned._

Also from this chapter, the Quote of Irony: _Axel pulled Roxas to him, embracing him. "How about we experiment with the desserts in here au naturel?"_

~freaky-hanyou


	89. Grease: KairiNamine

I should be packing. I should be reading. I should be NOT updating, but I have been just…_blown away_ that I HAVE to update. Wow. Holy wow, Zellarius. Your review completely blew me away. Slow maybe 1 review for everything and then BAM. Sweet Jesus! I am completely flattered. Thank you.

AND Kiki, I forgot. _The Reckless One _is by Connie Brockway, second in a series of three. The first is called _The Passionate One. _They're pretty good, but my favorites are still the Dark-Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon. XD

SO. I am trying this. This _one_ suggestion which is going to be new and…interesting. It's YURI ya'll. Something completely new. But hey, if I could do Cloud/Sora, you never know. I plan to throw some Akuroku in here, so don't worry.

Let's do this. ::hugs to my reviewers:: I love you people.

**What if…**

_are no boys good enough to play the male lead in the school musical, and_

_Namine and Kairi get cast opposite each other as lovers?_

_((as suggested by the darling Zellarius Burvenia))_

_I don't believe this…_ Namine thought as she walked down the hallway to her next class, _I have to act beside _her? _Of all people? _She sighed before entering her Algebra class.

_Unbelievable…_

-----------((flashback))---------

"I can't believe Ms. Larxene is going to direct the musical this semester!" Demyx exclaimed as he sat next to Roxas at the cafeteria table. Namine, sitting further down the table reading a book, quietly kept to herself as she listened to their conversation.

"You couldn't expect them to let Mr. Xigbar do it again after the pyrotechnics he put in last year's production of _Phantom of the Opera_," Riku replied.

"Yeah, he almost set the theatre on fire!" Axel agreed, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "What do you suppose she has in mind?"

"She wrote on the audition paper she's looking for a 'fresh angle' to the musical," Roxas mused.

_A fresh angle? _Namine thought, _What in the world does that mean? Maybe I should try…No, _she corrected herself. _I can barely talk to people, let alone act in front of an audience…_

"What is the musical anyway?" Sora asked Riku while stealing one of his chips.

"It's—"

"Hey boys," a red-headed figure said, sitting on the top of the table and taking an apple from Roxas' plate.

"Hey Kairi," the table chorused.

Namine blushed from behind her book. _Kairi, _she sighed mentally. The girl was practically the opposite of Namine. Witty, outgoing, and extremely energetic. _She's never even spoken to me…_

Unbeknownst to Namine, Kairi cast a furtive glance down the table to the girl behind the book before turning her grin towards the table. "So what are you talking about?"

"We were just discussing the musical this semester," Demyx answered before rummaging through Zexion's lunch, "You going to try out?"

"Of course," Kairi said with a flick of her hair, "What is it?"

"Grease!" Axel said enthusiastically, "Can't you just see me as Danny?" He slicked his hair back and flashed a debonair smile.

"Too bad you're down deaf," Roxas replied sardonically.

"Hey!" Axel said, affronted, "I can sing better than you can!"

The rest of their argument was lost on Namine, who had went into shock. _Grease…?I've always wanted to be in Grease! It's my one weakness. Maybe I could be Sandy… _Namine glanced down the table at Kairi, who was laughing along with Demyx. Namine shook her head. _No way, I could never beat her out for the role…I'll settle for a Pink Lady...A girl in the chorus. Something. _Namine stood as the bell rang. _Anything…_

----------((a few days later, still in flashback))-----

Namine stood in shock in front of the freshly posted cast list. _I'm in! I'm…Sandy?! I don't believe it!_ She scanned the cast list in more detail. _Danny Zuko is…_Kairi?! _How? _

"Why the _fuck _is Kairi Danny?!" an angry Axel asked Roxas as they too scanned the cast list.

Ms. Larxene, who was entering her office, heard him. "She fits the part," she said succinctly, "She can sing the role. It will be perfect," she walked into her office.

"But--!" Axel said before Roxas shushed him.

"Shut it, _Kenickie!_ She'll take your part away!" Axel looked down at Roxas in disbelief.

"Don't you feel slighted at all you're playing _Rizzo?! _You have to cross-dress onstage!"

"But I get to act beside you," Roxas murmured, blushing.

Namine decided this was the perfect moment to walk away, before she witnessed anything more…embarrassing. _The first rehearsal is after school today, _she thought, on the way to Algebra. _I don't believe this…_

--------------((OKAY back to the real time, after school))----------

Namine steeled herself as she approached the large group milling about in the theater. _I guess I better introduce myself, _she thought, _they probably don't even know who I am. _She sighed. _SHE probably has no idea either…_

With that thought, Namine walked straight up to Kairi. "Hi," she said timidly. Kairi, who was talking with Demyx, turned. "I'm—"

"Oh hey Namine! So you're Sandy? Congratulations! I hope you enjoy it," she said, winking. Namine blushed. Luckily, Ms. Larxene chose that moment to start the rehearsal. Namine took her seat, her mind whirling.

_Did she just…_flirt _with me? She had to have been kidding…_ Namine could barely listen to Ms. Larxene's opening lecture about 'paying attention' and 'learning your lines and choreography.' _This musical is going to be something else…_

----------((Lunch, the next day))------

Namine moved towards her usual table to read her favorite book. However, Kairi spotted her first.

"Namine!" Kairi called out before walking over to her. "Come sit with us!" she said, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the table. Speechless, Namine followed Kairi to the table, before smiling wide.

------------((musical time!))----------

"_Summer lovin' had me a blast," _Kari sang in one of their first musical rehearsals.

"_Summer lovin' happened so fast," _Namine gushed, acting along.

_It's so much easier to act onstage than in real life, _Namine thought as Kairi sang. "_Met a boy, cute as can be," _she continued. _When my lines are planned for me, I feel like I can just…go with it. _

As the lines continued, Namine found it easier and easier to act along.

"_We made out, under the dock," _Kairi sang, winking at Kairi.

Namine blushed and replied, "_We stayed out, til 10 o clock!" _

_I am going to enjoy this._

-----------((flash forward a few weeks))-------

Choreography in place, practices were getting better and better as the set was slowly built. Namine found herself onstage alone, ready to practice _Hopeless Devoted to You. _She focused on Kairi, sitting in the audience doing her history homework, waiting for her scene to arrive.

"_Guess mine is not the first heart broken," _she sang, looking forlorn as she walked to her blocked position. "_My eyes are not the first to cry,"_

Kairi stopped working on her homework and looked up, focusing on Namine's abrupt change from her quiet persona.

Namine cast furtive glances at Kairi as she sang. _She's watching me, _she thought as the song built.

"_But there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside, I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you," _Namine stopped all pretense, staring straight at Kairi.

"_Hopelessly devoted to you."_

---------((class, the next day))---------

Namine walked into her history class, trying not to look at Kairi. _She's never noticed me before, why would she start now…_

"Hey Namine!"

Namine looked up, startled.

"Come sit up here!" Kairi said, waving her over. Namine smiled and walked over to them. _Yes, trying out for the musical was a good thing. _

Namine pinked slightly as Kairi gave her a hug in greeting.

_A very good thing._

"So Namine," Kairi asked while the class was milling about, "What are you doing after practice today?"

"Um, nothing…" Namine answered slowly.

"Want to go study with me at Starbucks after? I really don't get this history stuff…" she said, scratching her head sheepishly.

"Sure," Namine said, smiling.

_A very _very_ good thing._

--------((after rehearsal))-------

"Wow Namine, this is making so much more sense!" Kairi said, scooting closer to Namine in the booth they shared as she pored over the book, "I think you should teach it instead of Mr. Xaldin, he makes it so _boring!_"

Namine blushed. "I think it's interesting," she murmured, absently taking notes on the text.

"I like it when you blush," Kairi said, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind Namine's ear. "It's really cute."

Namine blushed more. "Th-thanks."

"Sure," Kairi said, smiling, before continuing to study.

---------((Hey look, after Starbucks!))-----

"Thanks for driving me home, Namine," Kairi said as they pulled into her driveway.

"Well, I'm the lucky one that has a car," Namine replied, laughing. _It's so much easier to talk to her now, _she thought happily.

"Hopefully I'll get one soon," Kairi replied, laughing as well. "Namine."

Namine looked over, and Kairi quickly pecked her on the cheek. "Thank you," Kairi said, before bolting from the car and into her house.

Namine froze and turned bright red. _Did she just…kiss me? _She brought her hand up to her cheek.

_Wow._

----------((next day))------

The next day, Namine confidently walked through the lunch room. _Something feels different today, _she thought happily, _I'm…confident! _She walked over to the table, where Axel and Roxas were deep in conversation with Kairi.

"….So you _don't _like her then?" Axel asked.

"Of course not," Kairi, who was facing away from Namine, replied, "We're just friends. I'm only acting."

Namine, who had just reached the table, froze. A sudden rush of anger overcame her normally peaceful countenance. "Only _acting_, huh?" Kairi spun around, shocked and embarrassed. "I didn't realize that covered your actions _off-stage_ as well." She then stormed off and left the cafeteria. She headed straight for the bathroom, tears welling up in her eyes.

_I'm a fool._

------((musical time!))-----

As dress rehearsals began, Namine continued to ignore Kairi. Namine sighed as Kairi tried to get her attention for the thousandth time in the dressing room.

"Namin—"

"I have _nothing. _To say to you," Namine said before storming out of the makeup room. "I believe it's your scene now."

Kairi sighed as she walked up to the platform for her song.

"_Stranded at the drive-in," _she began, looking down at Namine, "_Branded a fool…What will they say, Monday at school?"_

Kairi began to pace her blocking, hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. "_Sandy, can't you see? I'm in misery. Made a start, now we're apart, there's nothing left for me."_

She ran a hand through her slicked back hair, sighing, "_Love has flown, all alone, I sit and wonder why-y-y-y oh why, you left me, Oh _Sandy."

Namine looked up at Kairi, her glare softening. Then she steeled herself, looking away.

_She's only acting._

------------------((opening night!))----------

Namine sat in front of the mirror, psyching herself up for the first performance of the musical. _I can do this, _she thought, _I'm acting. It's not Kairi. It's Danny Zuko. _Unbeknownst to her, her and Kairi were alone in the dressing room.

"Namine."

Namine immediately stood up, startled. She started to make for the door, but Kairi blocked her path.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Kairi said, grasping Namine's shoulders. "When Axel and Roxas were talking to me, I…I panicked!"

"Sure," Namine said dryly, fighting to break her hold.

"No, listen!" Kairi said, forcing Namine to meet her eyes. "I was! I've never done this before. I like…guys," she started.

"Well _that's _great to hear," Namine said dryly.

"Would you just shut up!" Kairi said, startling Namine. "As I was saying, I like guys, but with you it's…different. I like you more than them. I feel…different. In a better way than before," she finished, blushing.

"…Really?" Namine said quietly. "You've never even noticed me before!"

"I've been too shy to talk to you," Kairi admitted quietly.

"_You? _Too shy? I don't believe it," Namine commented.

"You don't have the monopoly on shyness," Kairi said, smirking. "Now, can I kiss you or do I have to save it for the stage?"

Namine blushed. "I g-guess you can," she said. Kairi smiled and closed the distance between them. At first, it was slow and sweet, the two getting used to each other. Then, Kairi slowly turned up the heat, lacing her hand through Namine's hair and pulling her closer. Namine clutched her shoulders, gasping. Kairi took the chance to slip her tongue into Namine's mouth. Namine pulled her closer, pulling her flush against herself.

"Five minutes!" The stage manager called as she walked down the hall beyond the makeup room. The two broke apart, panting.

"Well…" Kairi started.

Namine laughed. "I guess we should get out there…"

Kairi took Namine's hand and led her out of the room.

-------((end of show))----

_This is wonderful, _Namine thought, waiting in the wings for one of the final numbers, _it feels completely different tonight. _As soon as her cue was said, Namine strutted on stage, bedecked in full leather, hair frizzed.

"Tell me about it, stud."

Kairi's eyes widened. She was only half acting as Namine winked at her, strutting closer.

"_I've got chills, they're multiplyin," _Kairi sang, "_And I'm losin control, Cuz the power you're supplyin, it's electrifyin!" _She shook to the floor.

"_You better shape up," _Namine sang, pulling her off the ground, "_Cuz I need a man and my heart is set on you," _She ran her finger down Kairi's chest and pulled her closer, "_You better shape up, you better understand, to my heart I must be true,"_

"_You're the one what I want."_

------((END!!))----

Sweet lord. That was…interesting. And epically long too, jeez. It was hard to do other pairings, cuz it was pretty much one point of view, which is new.

Give me feedback here!

Looooove those reviews!

Last one: Filet Mignon! XD

"_Learn this, and learn it quickly. I do not apply to the laws of science. Got it memorized?"_

~freaky-hanyou


	90. Date Night: Soriku & AkuRoku

The reasons to update have finally reached critical mass! I've been thinking about updating a lot recently, and for some reason it's a tradition that somehow spawned that I update on July 4th (or close to it as recent years have shown), so here we go!

But wow. The main reason I am updating is definitely you guys. I won't lie, I squee every time I read a review. You people are too flattering to me. I just wonder if some of my old reviewers are out there looking (Kiki, Zesty, Zellarius, Akane, etc). But I always love it when a new person finds my stories! You people ROCK. And OMG for the first time EVER, I forgot something that happened in my own story. (In Payback) I loled. Aloud. I hope this is how all of you feel.

Oh and PS. SKF, a review from the _phone?_ Goodness! And I am confused; I still need a good 40 reviews before we hit a thousand.

Wow, a thousand reviews…

Whatever should I do? ; )

For the love of…I can't this idea out of my head. I don't feel like I'm being fair and spreading the ideas around because I just did one from this person, but I really can't get it out of my head! I'm kind of switching the people around….oh hell. You'll see. : )

**What If…**

_Sora and Roxas dressed up as each other, and Riku and Axel got really confused?_

_((as suggested by the darling Tayberry and well…me!))_

"I don't think this is going to work…"

"Shush, of course it will! Come here, so I can do this right, or Riku will figure it out for sure…"

Roxas looked dubious at best as he bent his head over the sink to allow his brother Sora better access to his hair. This could only be explained as one of their 'brotherly ideas;' no one knows exactly how it came about, but the idea was too epic to not follow through with.

_Sora better know what he's doing,_ Roxas thought as his brother poured brown hair dye in his hair. "Why are we doing this again?" he wondered aloud, if for no other reason than to quell his newfound anxiety regarding the whole 'swapping-boyfriends-and-see-if-they-notice' idea.

"Why for the sake of chaos and deviousness, of course," Sora said, winking. "It can definitely work," he mused as he pulled Roxas upright, "we have the same hair style, eye color, and our voices can be remarkably similar. It will work!"

"I don't know, Sora…" Roxas continued as Sora started the process of dying his hair blonde, "your hair is a bit too fluffy to be mine, and you can be so…"

"Spaztic?" Sora supplied with a grin. Roxas nodded. Sora laughed at his brother's worry. "Nothing a haircut and a good lesson in acting won't fix!" He put his arm around Roxas' shoulder. "We're brothers! Barely a year apart! How hard could this be?"

Roxas managed a grin. "I hope you're right…"

-((suuuure…))-

Axel nearly skipped all the way to Roxas' house down the street. It was the hallowed 'Date Night,' where Axel whisked Roxas away to his house and left Riku and Sora in theirs.

_Finally, _Axel thought merrily, _a Date Night. We haven't had one of these in weeks! Idiotic busy schedules…_ He smirked to himself as he approached Roxas' door and rang the bell. _Tonight's going to be fun, that's for sure._

Axel's trademark smirk faltered as Roxas answered the door. _Something's…different. _He brushed the feeling away and pulled Roxas in for a hug.

"Hey stranger, I haven't seen you for a while…" Axel said, tightening the embrace.

"Hey Axel!" Roxas said enthusiastically. A little _too_ enthusiastically.

Axel pulled back slightly. "What's up, Rox? Did you miss me that much? You seem hyper…"

Roxas giggled awkwardly (_giggled?_) and kissed Axel on the cheek. "I'm not hyper, Axel, I just…wanted to see you. Is that a bad thing?" Roxas said, trying to look deep and thoughtful but failing miserably.

Axel laughed to himself and wrote it off as Roxas being, well…Roxas. "Whatever, Rox," he said, taking his hand, "Let's go."

Meanwhile, as the pair walked out the door, the real Roxas was banging his head against the wall in frustration, silently pleading for Riku to call sick. _If he keeps that act up, _he groaned, _Axel will recognize him before they even get to the house!_

Roxas' musings were cut off, however, by another ring at the door.

-((to Riku!))-

_Well that's odd, _Riku thought as he rang the doorbell, _why did Roxas duck behind Axel when I went to say hello? Must have been some odd game they were playing. _Riku didn't even try to understand Axel and Roxas' antics.

The door softly opened, and Sora stood there with a slight smile on his face. "Hey Riku," Sora said quietly.

"Hey Sora," Riku said warmly, leaning in for a kiss. He was confused however, when Sora turned to have him kiss him on the cheek. "Sora?"

"Yes?" he replied, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Is something wrong?"

Sora laughed half heartedly grinning slyly. "Of course not, Riku, why would you think that?" he giggled, giving him a thousand watt smile, squinting his eyes closed. "Come on!" he exclaimed, grabbing his hand, "let's go watch a movie!"

Riku grinned to himself as he let Sora pull him into the living room. _There's my Sora._

-((oh, the deviousness…))-

_Something is definitely up. It is halfway into this movie and Roxas has not made a pass. _Axel frowned at the blonde resting lightly in his embrace. _More importantly, _he_ hasn't let me make a pass!_

"Alright, I give. What's up?" Axel asked, trying to see Roxas' face from his place behind him.

"Nothing, why?" Roxas asked, clearly engrossed in the movie.

"Because we haven't started making out yet, that's why!" Axel said exasperatedly.

Roxas grinned in a very un-Roxas like manner. "I'm actually interested in this movie!"

Axel blinked. _I think he was serious. Usually that was the moment where he would insert something sarcastic like, 'Can't just hold it in for a few hours can you?' or something. Wow._

"Why do you think they're in a bar? Don't you think this scene would be more interested filmed underwater?"

Axel was silenced for the remainder of the movie.

-((over in the other MovieLand))-

Riku was definitely confused. _How is this happening? _he thought as he watched Sora watch the movie. _This isn't right. He is watching, but he's not….watching. He'll either be completely focused with the occasional ridiculous comment only Sora could come up with, or he'll get bored and make out with me. This is just…nothing. _Riku continued to watch Sora calmly watch the movie. Riku sighed and finally paused it.

"What's going on Sora? You're not acting like yourself," he commented, turning Sora around so he could see his face. The problem was, Sora still would not look him in the eye.

"Nothing!" Sora protested loudly, "I was just watching the movie!"

"But that's not how you normally watch movies," Riku replied, "you've seemed to lose some of your…spunk," he finished lamely. "I don't understand it!" He frustratedly ran his hands through his silver hair. "And why won't you look at me?" he said forcefully before grabbing Sora's chin and forcing him to meet his eyes. That was when he saw it. In Sora's eyes he saw a touch of fear, sheepishness, and clarity.

Complete clarity. There was no usual spark of joy and bubbliness that never seemed to disappear, just clarity and…wit.

"_Roxas?"_

-((oh dear))-

"Well, that was a good movie," Axel said, stretching slightly as the credits rolled, "let's get down to business."

"What?" Roxas said, quickly masking the...panic?...in his voice.

Axel narrowed his eyes as Roxas slowly got off the couch and headed for the kitchen. He followed him, determinedly wrapping his arms around the younger's waist. "What is wrong with you?" he muttered into Roxas' ear. "You've been acting weird all night. I feel like I'm going _crazy,_" he whispered the last as he kissed Roxas' ear. Roxas jumped a foot and lunged for the fridge.

"Not right now Axel," he said nervously, "I'm hungry."

"So am I,"Axel said, before pushing Roxas against the door of the fridge and pinning him there with his arms. "And I think you'll enjoy the same thing," he muttered, moving in for a kiss.

"Axel I—"

"Hush," he whispered, moving ever closer as…the doorbell rang.

Roxas ducked out from Axel's arm and bolted for the door. Axel rolled his eyes and followed.

Axel raised an eyebrow as he opened the door and found Riku standing there with Sora in tow.

"I believe this is yours," Riku said dryly before pushing Sora in the doorway and dragging Roxas out with him, shutting the door after them.

Axel started to protest before a look in Sora's eye stopped him. He looked almost…guilty. _Now when Sora's guilty, he doesn't look like that…That looks more like…_

Axel burst into laughter. "Roxas?" he said disbelievingly. "What in the…how?...why?" he said between fits.

Roxas, with brown fluffy hair and looking to the common passerby to be Sora, ground his teeth together in a very un-Sora like manner. "It was Sora's idea. I don't remember how we came about on the topic. I don't know what would have happened if Riku didn't realize it was me."

Axel abruptly sobered. "He didn't do anything to you did he? Because if he did I'll—_oh my god…_"

Sora/Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I almost practically _jumped_ Sora! How am I going to explain that? Jeez, Rox, I'm sor—" Axel was cut off as Roxas pulled him down to kiss him softly.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's Sora's own damn fault for not thinking far enough ahead, the idiot." Roxas continued to ramble, failing to notice that Axel's look was starting to look more and more predatory. Roxas finally faltered and looked wary as he backed away a step. "Doesn't it bother you at all that I bear a striking resemblance to Sora?"

"Nah," Axel said, winking as he locked Roxas in an embrace, "it'll be kinky with a brown-haired you. Come on," he said as he half-dragged an only slightly protesting Roxas upstairs.

-((but the other story is not done!))-

"_What the hell was that?" _Riku exclaimed at a grinning Sora. "And why aren't you ashamed of it?"

"Because it was fun!" Sora smirked, clearly not seeing a problem. "Axel totally almost jumped me, you should have seen it-"

"He _what?_" Riku said as he stopped in his tracks, intending to turn around and show Axel a thing or two, before Sora stopped him with a look.

Mischief.

All anger that Riku held was promptly deflated."You genuinely enjoyed pulling one over on us didn't you?"

Sora smiled a shit-eating grin. "You bet! Although I will admit, your doorbell was perfectly timed, I was probably going to have to give up the game myself if you hadn't figured it out…"

Riku was so exasperated it bordered on comical. "You are just…ridiculous," he said in a completely endearing fashion.

"Life's never boring with me, is it?" Sora said, sticking his tongue out.

"Never," Riku agreed, stealing a kiss. "Now come on. Let's go fix your hair so you can make it up to me."

Sora smirked. "Deal," he said, before racing back to the house.

-((End!))-

That was actually better than I thought it would be. I figured that if Roxas spoke a register up, and Sora spoke a register down, they could pass as each other voice wise, for the record. But the original What If was to have Riku and Roxas switch, but I thought this might be a bit more fun to write : p

Love to all! Send me some!

Last one: Road Trip!

_"Is that a promise?" Zexion said. "Because if it isn't, I could see to it personally that you _accidentally_ lose your ability to procreate."_

~freaky-hanyou


	91. Assassins: AkuRoku

I'm terrible. I have every inclination to update and I just can't muster the gumption to sit still and do it. Ugh. Shame on me. We can do this.

FIRST OFF it was definitely Zellarius Burvenia's birthday on the 20th, so we're doing his suggestion and filling this with…action! Well..we're going to try! Bwahaha. (That's right kids, if you tell me when it's your birthday, it'll get me to update, haha)

So PsychoBabble brought up an interesting point and gets a cookie; apparently mistletoe is poisonous when ingested, and Axel drinks mistletoe in chapter 37, so…oops? We'll just say Vexen is awesome and magicked out the poisonous property and replaced it with the plotpoint of that story : )

So..on with the show?

**What If…**

_an Organization XIII sparring match got out of control?_

_((as suggested by the birthday boy Zellarius Burvenia))_

"_Fight!"_

A clash was heard from the practice room of Castle That Never Was as Axel and Xaldin crossed weapons in the center of the fighting circle. The rules were simple: Don't step out of the circle and don't kill anyone.

"You're at the top of your game today, Axel, I'll admit…" Xaldin commented as he blocked Axel's flying chakram with two lances while sending two in Axel's direction.

Axel smirked and parried the lances by entangling them in his remaining chakram before catching the other when as it returned to him. "What can I say?" he said none-too-modestly, "When you've got it," he paused to enclose Xaldin in flames, who protected himself with a cage of lances, only to be thwarted as Axel leapt down through the top of the flames, knocked the lances away with his chakram wheels, and pinned Xaldin to the ground, "You've got it."

Xaldin glared down at the chakram pointed under his chin as the flames disappeared around them. "Do you give?" Axel asked from atop him.

"I give," Xaldin said reluctantly, ending the match.

"Winner: Axel!" Xemnas announced.

Axel stood triumphantly, bowing to the observing Nobodies of Organization XIII. Roxas clapped; even the rest of the Organization had to give him credit. "That's seven victories!" Axel exclaimed, "I can't be beat!"

"Oh I highly doubt that…" Saix murmured quietly, stepping into the ring. "It's time your reign of this training exhibition came to an end, Axel…"

"Really?" Axel said doubtfully, "and you think you can beat me without help from your beloved moon?"

"My dear Axel," Said said, smiling softly as he summoned his claymore in the ring, "I could beat you with my eyes closed. Now if you would stop your strutting around, we can begin the match."

Axel glared and readied his weapons.

"_Fight!_" called Xemnas.

Saix wasted no time closing the distance between them by unleashing a mighty swing of his claymore at Axel's knees; Axel quickly leapt into the air and landed deftly behind him. Saix turned and thrust his weapon forward, and again Axel gracefully leapt to the side.

"You can't avoid me forever, you know," Saix pointed out, grinning. Before Axel could respond, he darted forward with inhuman speed and swung his weapon down, sending out talons of blue energy. Axel barely had time to dodge and send up his own wall of flame to dodge the blow. He landed on Saix's left, panting.

"Breaking a sweat now, are we?" Saix said with a smirk.

Axel glared. "Less talking," Axel ground out before sending two flame-encrusted chakrams hurtling Saix's way in rapid.

Saix parried the weapons easily, and it dropped to the ground near his feet. "If you insist," he replied cheekily, before bringing his weapon up in a great arc, aimed to land on Axel. Axel dove to the side and continued to roll, intending to pick up his chakrams that lay useless on the ground. Saix saw his motive and brought the claymore around again, forcing Axel to change his path and roll the other way. He stopped abruptly before he rolled out of the circle.

"I almost had you," Saix commented on Axel's near defeat. He continued to stand close to Axel's weapon. "But I will soon."

"Enough!" Axel exclaimed, encircling the circle in flames. He leapt into them, moving in camouflage with the flame walls.

"_Burn baby!_" he cried as he leapt out of the flames behind Saix, shooting a jet of rising flames at Saix, who was launched to the other side of the circle.

_That's it! He's going out of the circle! _Axel thought triumphantly as he reached his weapons. However, Saix threw his claymore in mid-air. As Axel stood with his chakrams he was clocked across the jaw with the heavy end, sending him hurtling in the other direction.

_Shit…_

"Winner: …" Xemnas paused, determining who left the circle first.

"Axel won, Superior," Roxas tried to explain, "he hit Saix first!"

"But Saix's blow was made before he left the ring," Larxene countered. "And shut up anyway; you're biased!"

"Make me." Roxas declared, shooting a smoldering glare at her. The other Nobodies started to bicker and argue, each trying to determine who the victor was. Meanwhile the combatants picked themselves up off the floor, Axel rubbing his jaw.

"_Enough._" One word from the Superior was all it took to bring on complete silence. "Clearly the match is a draw. Perhaps a rematch could occur now _or _at a later date," the Superior added, ignoring protests of exhaustion and injury and future problems. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "_Or,_" he continued, stroking his chin in thought, "we could all take part in a different exercise to determine the true victor. One that is more…subtle."

"Subtle?" questioned Demyx; he was rarely if ever subtle.

"The game is called Assassins," Xemnas continued as if Demyx had never spoken, "and it will require more than brute force to be the victor."

"Well this'll be easy," Marluxia, the Graceful Assassin, remarked.

"I will pass out a slip of paper to each of you, detailing who you are to kill," Xemnas explained. "However, you are not to actually kill them. Because our team is easily prone to…_accidents…_of a violent nature," he sent a meaningful look around the room, "you must stab your victim with a spoon. Your victim's target then becomes yours. There is no safe zone, and can be no witnesses. Sound fair?"

_No,_ thought everyone, but agreed to the game nonetheless.

-((the game is afoot Watson!))-

Demyx nervously walked the halls of the Castle, looking all around him for his potential attacker. _I hate this game, _Demyx thought darkly, _I couldn't sleep at all yesterday…_

He slowly peered around the corner to the next hall. He looked behind him again before continuing on towards breakfast. _Everyone can use portals, making things even more difficult. And the worst part, _how_ am I supposed to sneak up on Marluxia? I have the dexterity of a freight train._

Demyx continued to muse on how best to sneak up on Marluxia, and failed to notice the figure appear in a portal behind him…

-((rewind a bit to that morning with Axel and Roxas))-

Roxas watched lazily from the bed as Axel immediately awoke and dressed for the game. _Practically losing to Saix clearly is not sitting well with him…_ he thought as he watched Axel put three spoons in various cloak pockets. He looked twitchy and was constantly aware of what was around him. _I guess he forgets he can't be attacked while I'm a witness,_ Roxas mused as Axel peered out a crack in the door.

"Are you sure you're not my killer, Rox?" Axel asked for the millionth time.

"Axel, for the last time, _no,"_ Roxas groaned, "I could have killed you about fifty times already!"

Axel smiled. "This is true." He gave Roxas a goodbye kiss and summoned a portal. "Now you'll excuse me if I don't wait for you, I'm going to get my assassin on early," he grinned and disappeared into the portal.

Roxas sighed before getting out of bed to dress. He pulled the little sheet of paper with the word _Axel_ written on it, tore it to shreds, and threw it in the trash. _I can't kill him, _Roxas explained to himself for the umpteenth time, _it means too much to him._

With the game already losing its luster, Roxas slowly headed to breakfast.

-((back to Demyx and the mystery man))-

_Maybe if I charged into his room one night? No, that wouldn't work; what if he was my assassin? _Demyx shuddered, _then I'd really be screwed…_

"Sorry, Demyx." Demyx jumped as cold plastic was jammed into his back. He turned around abruptly. "Axel?"

Axel nodded grimly. "I wouldn't have done it, but you understand right? I've got to take down Saix in this."

Demyx agreed wholeheartedly. "I don't mind. Besides," he looked around conspiratorially, making sure no one else could hear, "now _you_ have to take down Marluxia!" Demyx smiled as he cheerfully walked to breakfast.

-((flash forwards!))-

Axel wondered through breakfast, lunch, and dinner how to get to Marluxia. He was almost never alone, and when he was he retreated into his plant labyrinth of a bedroom. _Sure I could take a portal into there, but I could land in a pile of poisonous plants or something… _As Axel stood to leave dinner, deciding to camp outside his door for him to emerge from his room the next day, a miraculous opportunity made itself known.

"Superior," Marluxia inquired, "May I go to the market in Twilight Town? I need to pick up some things…"

_Meaning hair products, _snickered Axel.

"Of course, Number XI," the Superior, said, "just do not forget the game."

"Never, Superior," he said before disappearing into a portal.

Axel practically tripped over himself to exit the cafeteria and enter a portal to follow him.

-((Twilight Town!))-

Axel found himself stalking Marluxia to a haircare products aisle of a store in the Market District. He watched Marluxia in the huge mirror on the corner of the aisle to make sure he could easily sneak up on him. He chose the right moment and abruptly turned into the aisle to make his move—

"Jeez, _finally_! I thought you were going to stand there and stare at me forever," Marluxia replied, not even looking up from his shampoo selections. Axel paused mid-stab before finishing off Marluxia.

"You knew I followed you?" Axel asked incredulously.

"Duh, Graceful Assassin remember?" Marluxia continued, "If I wanted to win this silly game, I would. But you're enjoying this _so much, _I'll let you work your tail off to please the Superior instead."

Axel only heard half of his speech; he had disappeared into a portal mid-sentence.

Marluxia rolled his eyes and continued shopping.

-((flash-forward))-

After taking down Xaldin, Larxene, and Vexen (who thought the game was idiotic and juvenile anyways), Axel was finally given Saix's name a few days later.

_Game time, _Axel thought as he went to the deserted cafeteria to load up on spoons. _He won't see it coming—_

"I believe your time has come, Axel."

Axel swiftly turned towards the door to see Saix smiling in the doorway, spinning a spoon with his fingertips. He smirked. "Actually, I think it's your time."

Saix raised an eyebrow. "So you have my name as well? We must be the only two left then, considering I eliminated Lexaeus, Zexion, Xigbar, Luxord, _and_ Roxas before I finally got your name.

Axel's smirk faultered. "_Roxas_ had my name?"

Saix's smile grew wider. "Yes, he hardly put up any fight. Pity he didn't take you out during one of your…_encounters," _he said none-too-casually.

Axel's mind whirled; he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. "That's Roxas' prerogative, not mine. But now, the only problem I see is…_you._"As Axel finished his statement, he took one of the many spoons in his hand and sent it rocketing at Saix, who swiftly ducked and headed for the other side of the condiments table, grabbing a number of spoons as well.

"So it comes to this," he murmured as he turned to Axel, "I was hoping I would be able to finish you quietly."

"Yeah right," Axel commented snidely before charging with his weapons. Saix leapt over him easily and calmly landed on the table. Axel moved to the other side and followed him up. Saix smiled evilly and brandished four spoons, throwing them at Axel simultaneously. Axel, who had just gained his balance on the table, leapt into the air again, backflipping back onto the ground. Saix however, had leapt after him; the moment he gained his footing on the ground he was tackled to it. Saix landed on him, spoon first.

"Ha!" he exclaimed victoriously, "I do believe that you have been eliminated."

Axel snorted. "I doubt that." He looked pointedly down between them, and Saix followed his gaze. Not only had Saix stabbed Axel with his spoon, upon landing Axel raised a spoon in self-defense and stabbed Saix at the same time.

"Now what?" Axel asked, "We've both been eliminated." Saix stood, brushing himself off.

"I, for one, do not want to go through the tedium of that game again," he said coolly, flicking invisible dust off his cloak, "However," he started with a manic gleam in his eye, "next time we meet in the practice room—"

"You're going to get your ass kicked," Axel finished with a grin.

Without another word, Saix disappeared through the door.

-((but there is still a loose end!))-

Roxas looked up from his desk as Axel entered his room, grinning. "Did you win?" he asked curiously as Axel pulled him from his seat.

"No," he replied, pulling himself close against Roxas, "we stabbed each other at the same time…You had me the whole time?" Roxas blushed and looked away.

"I didn't have the heart to take you down; I knew how much you wanted to go against Saix." He murmured distractedly as Axel started to slowly kiss down his neck.

"I thought so," Axel replied huskily as he came up and placed his forehead against Roxas'. "And that is why you are wonderful," he kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"And you're just realizing this now?" Roxas grinned and pulled Axel down for a proper kiss.

-((End!))-

I cannot believe that this took three days to write. That never happens. I'm losing my little attention span. Anyway, I just HAD to put some fluff in there.

R AND R!

Last one: Payback!

_"HOLD THE PHONE!" Axel said, pulling Roxas to a complete stop. "_Toys?_ I think we need to check this out…"_

~freaky-hanyou


	92. The Accident: Zemyx

So this is definitely long in coming, considering SOMEONE had a birthday on August 7th and August is on the way out now…I fail.

So this is a Happy BELATED (boo) Birthday to Composer Gizmo-chan! I apologize sincerely for the lateness!

I am excited to write this. That's a good sign : p And sadly I'm going to valiantly attempt to keep this T…blur the line a bit..what do you folk say to just taking the plunge and rating this M?

**What If…**

_Demyx was injured during a kinky sex game and as a result,_

_Zexion changed his ways?_

_((as suggested by the lovely NoirCat))_

_BANG._

Roxas, who was silently doing paperwork alongside Axel in said person's room, jumped when he heard something hit the wall from the adjacent room. "What in the…" He looked over at Axel, who had not even stopped writing his report.

"Axel, what was that?"

"Don't worry about it," he replied, adjusting his glasses as he stared at the computer screen.

"I'm going to go check and make sure everything's okay; Demyx's room is on that side right?" Roxas asked, moving towards the door.

"Exactly. This happens all the time," Axel said, turning to grin wolfishly at Roxas. "They are doing…_things._" Axel then returned to his report.

Roxas stared in puzzlement at Axel, then at the wall, and back again. "Things? As in, _things _things? I mean I can understand hitting the wall, but that sounded like a missle—"

"Don't even try to picture it, Roxy," Axel said nonchalantly as he typed away.

-((lets rewind a bit))-

"Zexion, stop, I have to finish this…" Demyx squirmed in his computer chair as Zexion knelt behind him, languidly nuzzling Demyx's neck.

"What?" Zexion whispered seductively into Demyx's ear, "I'm not doing anything…"

"Sure you're not," Demyx replied breathily, "you are deliberately distracting me from my Heartless report I have to write for tomorrow…" Demyx inhaled sharply as Zexion began to nibble his ear. "I really have to finish this," he said, but he didn't sound too committed to the idea.

"It's not going anywhere," Zexion murmured as he began kissing Demyx's collarbone, "Why don't you take a break?"

"Hell with this," Demyx said as he let his arms rest against the arms of his computer chair, closed his eyes, and became completely absorbed in what Zexion's tongue was doing. It made a slow trail from his collarbone, up his jawline, and slowly made its way back to nibble on his ear. Demyx went to reach back and grip Zexion's soft locks, but found that he was unable to.

Demyx's eyes shot open when he realized that his hands had been tied to the chair with two tight cords. "Not again!"

Zexion grinned evilly and spun Demyx's chair away from the computer. "Yes, _again,_" Zexion said mockingly, pushing Demyx and chair into the opposing wall.

_BANG._

"You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it the last time we tried this either," Zexion said as he stalked closer, "I remember your pleas of—"

"You made your point!" Demyx said, blushing scarlet. He always felt…._dirty_…when Zexion decided to fully unleash this side of him. He didn't protest as Zexion placed a searing kiss on his lips and slowly started to unzip his cloak. He moaned aloud when Zexion slowly started to kiss down his chest, pausing to pay extra attention to his pecs.

Dirty, indeed.

-((throws up the stop sign before we go too crazy))-

A while later, Demyx lay against the back of the chair, unable to move. He sighed happily before nudging Zexion to spur him into movement. Zexion stirred and grinned ;

"That was fun," he said, winking as he started to unwrap Demyx's hands.

"Yeah, maybe next time it'll be your turn to sit in the chair," Demyx said jokingly. Demyx was puzzled when Zexion didn't respond, and looked at him to see what the problem was. Zexion was staring at Demyx's now darkness-stained hands.

"What the hell? Ow…" Demyx said, pulling his hands closer for further inspection. The cords around his hands wrapped so tightly they cut shallow loops into Demyx's wrists. Demyx massaged the wounds while they throbbed steadily. Wordlessly, Zexion passed him his shirt to press on the wounds, put on his pants, and left to get some bandages from the closet. Upon his return, Zexion looked heartbroken. He knelt next to the still-sitting Demyx and cleaned his hands with a rag before beginning to wrap them in bandages.

"I'm really sorry Demyx," Zexion whispered, pain lacing every syllable.

Demyx immediately wanted to comfort him. "It's alright Zexion; they don't really hurt that bad…" Demyx faltered. He was never really the wordsmith.

"I promise I won't hurt you like this ever again," Zexion said with an uncharacteristic resolve, standing and pulling Demyx into a fierce embrace.

"I trust you," Demyx whispered, kissing Zexion's cheek.

-((a few days later))-

Now only feeling the occasional twinges and throbs from his wrists, Demyx sought out Zexion for a bit of attention. _Am I crazy or is he avoiding me? _Demyx wondered as he went to Zexion's room. Not bothering to knock, he was not surprised to see Zexion hunched over his desk, working hard at something. He slowly started to run his hands down Zexion's shoulders before Zexion jumped a foot in the air and leapt away from Demyx. Recovering, he grinned shakily.

"Zexion, what's—" Demyx started, confused and concerned.

"I'm sorry Demyx, you startled me!" Zexion said, laughing falsely. "I was just working on my stamp collection, you know…"

"Oh that's alright-you're _what?_" Demyx said, approaching the desk for a closer look. Indeed the desk was littered with stamps that Zexion was arranged into a neat little book.

"Why are you doing this Zexion?" Demyx asked, concern winning out as the dominant emotion.

Zexion hesitated before dropping his gaze from Demyx's. "I just wanted to find something to pass the time," Zexion whispered.

Demyx smirked. "Is that all? I can solve that problem," he said bewitchingly as he stepped closer to Zexion.

"No!" Zexion said, abruptly stepping back. Seeing Demyx's hurt and bewilderment, he immediately reached out a hand to comfort him before pulling back. "I can't. I don't want to hurt you again."

"So you're just going to stay away from me forever?" Demyx questioned harshly.

Zexion flinched. "I don't know." He then took a portal out of his room, leaving Demyx alone.

-((a few days later))-

_I can't stand this, _Demyx thought to himself as he watched Zexion duck into the library again. _He keeps hiding in there and I can never find him. He must have some secret hiding place that no one has ever found, _he thought as he entered the quiet library.

Demyx slowly walked up and down the quiet stacks, running his hands along the spines of the books. He unthinkingly scanned the titles as he went along. _The Viscount who Loved Me, Huckleberry Finn, The Lost Symbol, Ultimate Sex Positions, Catching Fire, wait what? _Demyx backpedaled until he found _Ultimate Sex Positions,_ a small picture book nestled in the shelves. Eyes widening at some of the pictures he found, he immediately started walking away with it. _Zexion would love some of these, _he thought gleefully before remembering his current predicament. Sighing, Demyx turned around to put the book back.

He placed it carefully on the shelf, staring at it as he let his emotions overwhelm him. _You know what, he isn't allowed to do this to me! _Demyx thought frustratedly as he hardened his resolve. _He doesn't get to call all of the shots! We're a team goddammit!_ On that thought, he grabbed the book, stuffed it in his cloak pocket, and summoned a portal to Zexion's room.

_I'll just wait here until he comes back—good lord,_ Demyx thought as he appeared in Zexion's room only to find Zexion prone on the floor surrounded by scrapbooking materials. Anger flashing, Demyx picked up a fistful of stickers and cutouts.

"Do you really think you can replace me with this?" he exclaimed. Zexion didn't answer. Demyx pulled him up, threw him on the bed, and pinned him there with his own body. Zexion tried to resist, but when Demyx wanted to he could overpower Zexion.

"Demyx, don't-"

"Don't what? Want to be with you? Please you? Want you? Love you?" he spat back. "Well I have news for you Zexion," Demyx said, leaning closer to his face, "you aren't the only one who makes that decision." He placed a searing kiss on Zexion's lips.

Zexion came up for air, panting. "Demyx, I—" he faltered.

Demyx glared at him. "What?"

"I'm scared," he whispered almost too quietly to hear. Demyx's anger immediately dissipated.

"Zexion, you have no reason to be scared. Accidents can happen this is true," he allowed, "but we'll just be more careful in the future…" he leaned forward, breathing in Zexion's ear. "We'll use the fuzzy handcuffs instead."

Zexion blushed.

Demyx grinned widely. "Now that that is settled, I need to show you this book I found in the library…"

-((END!))-

Oh god that was fun. The beginning was my favorite because it was awesome. And a glasses-clad Axel sounds like the sexiest thing ever. A bit angsty, yes, but I always think that Demyx doesn't get mad often, so when he does it's pretty much a bomb going off.

Yaay Reviews!

Looooveee!

Last one: Dollar Tree! I almost stumped myself, haha.

_I'm just saying, with all these new worlds being discovered it would be logical for one of us to learn how to drive!"_

~freaky-hanyou


	93. Babies: AkuRoku

So. Hi. :) I'm alive and certainly kicking. I do apologize for that lack of anything, but I have appreciated all of your reviews. Some reviews I have received have claimed me lazy, but yes college is hard, but I was also doing (still am doing) martial arts twice a week, school, and school plays. Liiiiittle busy.

BUT school has been replaced with two jobs and that leaves more time and more of my late night energy free :p

And omg guys, so I am a die-hard Indians fan, went to the game today, hell yes win, but they are making a new t-shirt slogan for this year:

_**What if?**_

**I about peed myself.**

So that was a sign to update, and I am really excited to get THAT t shirt. XD

And funny thing, the last time I updated for **Composer Gizmo-chan's** birthday (I bold so you read this if that's you lol), but hey if you're still out there, I put it in my calendar to update again when it comes around XD. And if any of **you** want a birthday update, let me know! It guilts me into updating. ALSO next year I'll be in Japan from January to June (!) so if your birthday's in there, I'll update for your half birthdays, cuz those are cool.

ONE MORE THING I SWEAR. I thought of a hilarious one shot idea, but I won't let myself write it until I did this first. So. If you don't have me on author alert, keep a watch for a title called **Here I Am,** because it is going to be epic. I is excited.

To business! Here's proof that I look at both old AND new suggestions, because I got this one last week and I am intrigued. Let's see what I can do with this.

And now, without much more ado…

**What If…**

_Axel became pregnant?_

_((as suggested by the energetic Roxel forever))_

"This has to be the cutest mission we have ever been assigned," Axel said offhandedly as he and Roxas exited a portal into his bedroom in the wee hours of the morning.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Roxas replied as he sat in his computer chair.

Axel flopped onto the bed in exhaustion. "It is. I don't care how cute the subjects are, these twelve hour work days are killing me," Axel stripped off his pale green scrub shirt as he continued talking, "and these clothes are uncomfortable..."

Roxas gave him an incredulous look. "I cannot believe that you think posing as nurses in the nursery of a hospital is a bad mission. Instead of fighting off Heartless, we get to hold new life! And cuddle it! And these clothes are _so comfortable!_" Roxas said, rubbing his shirt, "These may be my new pajamas."

Axel pouted. "I like when you sleep in your boxers…"

Roxas winked at him. "I may lobby that these be our new uniforms. And they come in patterns!"

Axel rolled his eyes as he stripped off his scrub pants for bed.

"Seriously!" Roxas continued, "We could all wear duck-patterned scrubs!"

Axel laughed aloud at the thought of the Superior wearing duck-patterned scrubs.

"You know what I think," Axel said, flopping back on the bed, "I think you've been having too many 'interviews' with the pregnant women."

Roxas looked offended. "We need their input for evidence! New hearts may be valuable to creating our own!"

Axel gave Roxas an offhand look. "You talk more about baby clothes than the actual babies.'

Roxas snorted. "Well, _I_ think that you really do love the babies; you're just too stubborn to admit it."

Axel looked skeptical. "Nope, I'd rather be fighting off hordes of Heartless. You aren't seriously going to sleep in that are you? It smells like baby fluids…"

Roxas mock-sighed as he stood and started to get ready for bed. "I guess I'll take them off…Axel, I know you say you don't like the babies," Roxas continued quietly as he crawled into bed with Axel, "but I just think you don't want to admit that you do. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have one?"

Axel didn't reply for a while. "I think you've been hanging out with the pregnant women too much, Roxas," he said dismissively, ending the discussion as he enfolded Roxas in his embrace. Roxas sighed a goodnight and closed his eyes.

Axel's thoughts were running a mile a minute. _Roxas? Me? A baby? Ridiculous…_

-((This looks like I set it up to be a dream, but its not, lol))-

Axel looked bored out of his mind as he sat in a rocking chair, holding one of the new additions to the nursery. _This sucks, _he thought as he watched Roxas feeding one of the babies, _we could be off doing a fun and exciting mission. Instead, I get you,_ he thought as he looked down at the child in his arms.

The baby, Charlie, rarely opened his eyes in the nursery. He lay silently in Axel's arms, quiet for the moment. Axel continued his mental tirade against the two-day old while he subconsciously rubbed his back. _All you do is eat, sleep, poop. I could work at a zoo for the same effect. I don't see what the Superior sees in you. You're just small, defenseless—_

At this moment, Charlie let out a great baby yawn, opened his big blue eyes and looked up at Axel.

_-and just about the most adorable thing I have ever laid eyes upon._ Axel looked up to make sure Roxas was otherwise occupied, before waving a finger in front of the child, who latched on instinctively with his hand. Axel cooed at him softly.

"You're not that bad kid," Axel whispered to the boy as he continued to rock him.

-((SQUEE))-

The next few weeks greatly improved Axel's disposition; he was really started to grow attached to the babies. Roxas grinned widely after they returned from work one night, commenting on Axel's newfound love for the little ones.

"Seems like someone has changed their mind about little bundles of joy," he gloated.

Axel rolled his eyes and stretched. "Joy is not the word I would use in that sentence…ow!" He rubbed his lower back.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"My back hurts. Too many hours at the hospital I guess," he took off his scrub shirt and turned so Roxas could see his back. "See anything?"

"Nope, it must just be sore." Roxas couldn't resist a jibe at the stick-thin redhead. "It's all that hospital food you're eating; you must be getting fat."

Axel took him seriously for a minute before grabbing a pillow off the bed and throwing it at him.

As the two climbed into bed, Axel thought about his now-throbbing back. He experimentally flexed his stomach. _It actually does feel a little…fatter…wow, I really need to work out more,_ he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

-((so it begins! The next morning))-

Axel awoke to the alarm and moved to leap out of bed to perform his daily 'wake Roxy' routine. However, as soon as he leapt out of bed, something was definitely…off.

"RISE AND SHINE, MY –woah," Axel said, clutching his stomach.

Roxas turned bleary eyes over at Axel. "Is something wrong?"

Axel shook him off. "Nah, I just feel a little…weird. Almost nauseous even," he said, sitting down on the side of the bed. "Maybe I have been eating too much hospital food…"

"We'll have to start packing some lunches," Roxas said as he sat up, "Maybe you should stay home today?"

"No really, I feel f-" Axel stopped and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned looking pale. "I think I'll stay home today…"

Roxas tucked him back into bed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll tell the kids you say hello," he said, winking before disappearing into a portal.

-((that night))-

Roxas made sure to hurry home after his shift at the hospital today. _I wonder how Axel is feeling; I hope he isn't that sick…_he exited the portal to Axel's bedroom to find not only a perfectly healthy-looking Axel sitting in bed, but a healthy-looking Axel eating the strangest assortments of foods.

"How are you…feeling?" Roxas asked, confused.

"Great," Axel said after a bite of pizza. Also on the bed was a 2 liter bottle of root beer, mini donuts, Milano cookies, and an empty box of chicken wings. "It must have been something weird I ate the night before that didn't digest right," he explained. "Pizza?"

Roxas declined the offer, overcoming his surprise. "And all of _this_ is going to digest right?"

Axel stopped eating. "I have a high metabolism," he said offhandedly as he gathered up the garbage into a pile on the bed.

Roxas shrugged. "You're lucky if you don't some wicked heartburn," he said as he sat in his computer chair.

"What does it matter? I enjoy it," Axel snapped.

"Woah, sorry," Roxas backtracked, "I was just surprised not to find you bed-ridden when I got home. No need to get mad."

"I'm not mad," Axel continued in a sharp tone, "I'm just sick of you making fun of my eating habits," he stood to throw the trash away. "I'm perfectly healthy, and you do not get to judge if I eat too much or not!"

"I'm sorry!" Roxas exclaimed, "All I did was make a comment!"

"Well I do not appreciate your comments Roxas! They're hurtful!" Axel turned away with a tear in his eyes. Roxas was speechless.

"I didn't realize you felt that way Axel…"

"Well I do," Axel said, turning towards Roxas. Roxas' eyes widened as he focused on Axel's stomach.

"Axel?" Roxas said cautiously, "I am not saying this to be offensive, but you don't normally get food babies when you eat a lot, and…well…that's one hell of a food baby."

"What?" Axel looked down at his stomach to see a small bump in it. He turned towards the mirror. He was definitely convex.

"Roxas…" he turned towards the blonde, eyes wide. "Did I just get really mad at you about nothing, eat a lot of weird food, and throw up this morning?"

Roxas opened his mouth to speak, paused, and closed it again. "Axel," he tried again, "are you…"

"Pregnant?" Axel finished, rubbing his belly. Both men stared at each other, eyes wide. After a moment in silence, both started talking very rapidly.

"I don't understand how this happened, we don't even have the right _parts_"

"Can you get pregnant by proximity? I shouldn't be hanging out with the pregnant women so much, maybe I passed it on to you—"

"Oh my _god_ Roxas, _how does it come out?_"

"There has to be a book for this—"

"I think I'm going to pass out—"

"Hold on!" Roxas said, standing and guiding a panicking Axel to the bed. "All we have to do is take this issue into work tomorrow. It'll be okay," Roxas said, wrapping his arms around a shell-shocked Axel's waist. "Men can't get pregnant. Right?"

"Right," Axel replied softly.

-((the next day after work))-

"I TOLD YOU I should not have loved the babies!" Axel exclaimed as he stormed out of the portal. "That's it! No more affection, or I'll start making milk or something!"

Roxas rolled his eyes, but inwardly he laughed just like the nurse at work did when he tried to bring up their suspicions about Axel's 'pregnancy.' The nurse had spit out half of her lunch laughing before explaining the details of a sympathetic pregnancy, where men around pregnant women start sharing the symptoms. "It didn't happen because you love them, it could have just as easily happened to me!"

Axel pouted. "Why does all the crazy shit happen to me."

Roxas snorted. "You cannot justify that claim. _I_ am usually the one that has the crazy shit _acted upon me,_" he emphasized. Axel leered at him as he followed him to the bed.

"So Roxy, since we have been reassured there is no way either of us can get pregnant, what do you say we practice making phantom babies?"

Roxas laughed as he let himself be pushed onto the bed and pulled Axel on top of him. "Sounds like a good idea," he whispered against Axels lips, "just no more mood swings."

Axel grinned. "Deal."

-((End!))-

Bwahaha. Not as funny or smutty as I hoped, but that was harder than I thought. Shaking off the rust I guess. This Here I Am I want to write will definitely be a funny one though ;)

Now I'm still here, let me hear if you're still out there! R & R!

Last one: The Truck! I had to think, lol.

_Roxas laughed. "What can I say? I had to release my inner feminine wiles."_

_Axel snorted. "The day you have feminine wiles is the day that Vexen declares a love for inferiors and small children," he said dryly._

~freaky-hanyou


	94. Roxanne: AkuRoku

((EDIT: I WROTE THIS AND TOTALLY DIDN'T NOTICE I HIT 1,000 WOOOO! Lol))

So it's a good day to write, but I don't want to waste Here I Am on this unhappy mood I'm in right now. So you might want to turn around or skip this one, because I think this one's going to be **sad** and have character **death **in it. (I think this is the …third? story I've ever written that doesn't have a happy ending, to let you know the rarity of this…)

So yes, **Roxel forever,** I might use your upcoming birthday points AND your sister's birthday points on this one, because I don't like sad :p But you've caught me at that perfect time, and loathe as I am to see myself hit 1k on a sad story, we'll just celebrate later…;)

This will most likely be short.

**What If…**

_Roxas dies after giving birth?_

_((as suggested by Roxel forever for a birthday present))_

"Axel."

Axel sat on his bed with his head in his hands.

"Axel."

"How did this happen?" he whispered softly.

"_Axel._"

Axel looked up. "How did this _happen?_" he repeated to Roxas, who stood in the doorway.

Roxas sighed and came to sit next to Axel on the bed. "I haven't looked at it yet," he said, gesturing to the pregnancy test in his hand. "We could be completely wrong."

"How could we be wrong? You've been sick so much and the weight you've gained…" he looked away. "How did this happen?" he whispered.

"It's impossible, Axel," Roxas said as he reassuringly put a hand on Axel's shoulder. "Not only am I male, we're _Nobodies._ We shouldn't be living; we're built completely different than humans!" He looked down at the pregnancy test.

"It's blue," he whispered quietly. He laughed to himself. "Well, I guess we're built a _lot _more differently than humans…"

Axel stared at the positive pregnancy test before lashing out against the opposite wall.

"_How did this happen?"_

-((aw here we go))-

A few hours later, Roxas was hooked up to an ultrasound in Vexen's lab.

"I don't even want to guess why you have this," Roxas joked lightly. No one responded.

"It would definitely appear that you are pregnant," Vexen said as he located the baby's heart rate on the machine, "Although I cannot begin to fathom how. You are definitely male, but there is definitely a fetus attached _somewhere…_I don't know how you can have an ectopic pregnancy when you shouldn't even be able to conceive," he clarified.

"Clearly a Nobody is more mysterious than we thought," Roxas replied.

"Ectopic?" Axel questioned.

"An ectopic pregnancy is when a baby grows outside of the uterus. It simply latches on to something and starts to grow. It is very dangerous," he explained darkly.

Silence filled the room. "How do we make it stop?" Axel whispered.

"I don't think that we can. Under normal circumstances, one simply removes the fetus; however, because this area is completely unknown, the attempt would most likely kill both Roxas and the fetus. If we took Roxas to a hospital, they would ask questions and make too many discoveries. Our only option is to wait until the fetus grows more so it will be easier to remove," Vexen explained.

"But then you'll be killing a child," Roxas said.

"Rox, we won't even know if this thing comes out as a child, let alone a human," Axel replied.

"We're still not going to give it the chance to grow only to take it away," Roxas said firmly.

"There is a chance that the baby will live if it is carried long enough," Vexen said.

"Would Roxas survive the birth? How can there even _be_ a birth?" Axel questioned.

"It would have to be a Cesarean. However, if the fetus does not tear apart Roxas' insides, it is possible they will both live," Vexen said bluntly.

"Possible," Axel whispered.

-((all aboard the sad and depressing train!))-

Roxas rolled over for what seemed to be the millionth time to throw up in the trash can next to the bed. There was no way to do it quietly; Axel awoke and rolled over to rub his back as he tossed his cookies.

"I could sleep in my own bed so you can sleep," Roxas said between heaves. "You still have to go on a mission tomorrow." The Superior had put Roxas on bed rest until this ordeal was complete; he did not want to lose a Keyblade master.

"Nonsense, Rox, don't worry about me," Axel said tenderly as he gently pulled Roxas back down to bed and tucked the covers over them. "I just want you to get better."

A few moments passed of quiet before Axel whispered something unintelligible.

"What?" Roxas whispered back, already half asleep.

"I'm sorry."

-((a few months later))-

Axel returned home from his missions, collapsed into his computer chair, and shut his eyes. Roxas, who had a pregnant belly now, was napping in bed, and he didn't want to disturb him.

A quick search on Google determined that it is possible for a baby to live if he or she is born at 24 weeks, although it is extremely risky. Roxas agreed that they could try to deliver the baby at that time. He had just entered week 14 and tried to leave the room as little as possible so he did not startle the baby or his insides.

_Three more months, _Axel thought hopefully, _just three more months and Roxas will be safe again. We might even have a child…_ Axel wouldn't dare to let himself even think about that future, or a future without Roxas. Suddenly, Axel eyes shot open as he felt a pressure of lips against his neck.

"Axel," Roxas whispered as he kissed a path down Axel's neck. Axel stood abruptly and pulled Roxas in front of him.

"Rox no," he said hoarsely as he pulled Roxas back to bed. "We can't, it's too dangerous…"

"But I want to, Axel, I want you so badly…" Roxas said with tears brimming in his eyes, "please?"

Axel hesitated. Roxas seized the opportunity to capture Axel's lips in a fierce kiss while pulling him completely down to the bed. Roxas' hands were everywhere, tracing paths along Axel's chest, back, and shoulders before Axel gained his senses and captured them with one hand.

"Roxas," Axel whispered, "I'm scared…"

"Don't be," Roxas replied, "the pregnancy books say this is normal…"

"But this isn't normal at all Roxas!" Axel exclaimed. Roxas, clearly hurt, turned away on the bed. Axel sighed, angry with himself. "Well, if we can't do it like we _normally _do," Axel said as he crawled tentatively closer to Roxas, "I _suppose_ I can think of one or two things we could try instead," he said, eyes glinting.

Roxas smiled happily. "That's my Axel…"

-((fast forward two and a half months))-

_This might just turn out all right,_ Axel thought as he walked down the hall to his bedroom. Both Roxas and baby were healthy and well, and soon they would try to deliver the baby. Axel even felt the baby kick yesterday.

"_It's not going to hurt you," _Roxas had said before putting Axel's hand on his stomach. _"This baby's going to be the luckiest one in the world, having us for parents."_

_Just a couple more weeks, _Axel thought with a twinge of hope, _a couple more weeks and this will all be over,_ he pushed open the door to his room as he smiled to himself.

Roxas lay on the floor, coughing up darkness.

"Fuck."

-((here it comes))-

Axel held Roxas' hand in a death grip as he and half the Organization piled into Vexen's lab gone maternity ward. Every possible gadget that could be required for a birth was brought into his lab for the occasion. Vexen worked fast as Roxas lay on the table, unconscious.

"Get it out!" Axel exclaimed, angry and frustrated that he was so powerless.

Vexen made a few incisions and there was darkness everywhere. Vexen swore and went to work, trying to deliver a viable baby and save Roxas in the process. Axel couldn't watch what was going on; he simply stared at Roxas' sleeping face.

"Please wake up," he whispered.

Vexen had the baby out and handed her—a girl—over to Marluxia, the impromptu nurse. He worked to resuscitate the baby, who was not breathing, while Vexen tried to save Roxas. All machines were beeping and screeching while they worked. Axel closed his eyes. He heard one of the machines start beeping solidly, while the other flatlined.

"Please," he whispered as he opened his eyes. A small cry was heard from a far off table, and Roxas lay unmoving.

"The baby had attached to his intestines; they burst and I couldn't save him," Vexen said quietly.

Axel didn't hear him. "Please wake up," Axel said softly as Roxas dissolved into darkness.

-((three months later))-

Axel walked into the lab turned NICU to see his baby. He watched her with blank eyes as she kicked in her high tech incubator, designed to help her finish developing. She grew strong rapidly over three months; Axel could only put his finger through the glass to touch her.

"You still haven't named her," Vexen pointed out as he watched her through the glass.

Axel didn't respond. He didn't speak much lately.

"You can hold her today," Vexen said, walking over to the incubator, "she's strong, this little one."

"What?" Axel said as he was pushed into a chair and given the child. He automatically held her close and cradled her head, looking down into the face that took away his love.

Piercing, big blue eyes opened beneath the tufts of bright red hair, looking up into stunned green ones. The baby reached out a hand and wrapped it around Axel's finger, staring at him. Axel stared back and began to rock her gently.

"It's just you and me isn't it, baby," he whispered to her, waving his finger that she held. "It's you and me…Roxanne."

-((End))-

EPIC PILE OF SADNESS. That was also longer than I thought. If I didn't write it myself, I would have cried. Let me know if you do, lol.

SO WE NEED HAPPY IDEAS YESYES. XD

R and R, how did I do?

Last one: Reincarnation!

_"So does that mean the carrot thing that Marluxia was telling me about was true?"_

_Demyx blushed. "No it does not!" Zexion laughed at him._

~freakyhanyou


	95. Raising Roxanne: AkuRoku

Time? What's that? I'm still in shock that school is so close! So I completely missed my tradition of updating on July 4th weekend, AND my phone reminded me that I needed to update for Composer Gizmo-chan's birthday, sooo….

LET'S FIX THAT LAST UPDATE SHALL WE.

And PS some people are asking about what I'm doing for the 100th chapter, and I have a few ideas…I kind of miss writing stories where Axel and Roxas aren't already together, because I know all these one shots are separate, but there is a bit of continuity to them, like people staying together once I put them there and Roxas and Demyx liking romance novels and Zexion being kinky and etc. SO. I'm working on it. XD

PS, apparently I updated for Composer's birthday last year too :p If you review a lot, it sticks XD

….I don't even know how I knew to put a birthday remind in my phone…did you mention it in a review reply or something Composer? It isn't in a review. lol

**What If…**

_Roxas had survived and Axel and Roxas raised Roxanne together?_

_((as suggested by the belated birthday girl Composer Gizmo-chan and the darling Zesty))_

_Previously on All My Children read:__Nobodies…_

_Roxas lay on the floor, coughing up darkness._

_"Fuck."_

_-((here it comes))-_

_Axel held Roxas' hand in a death grip as he and half the Organization piled into Vexen's lab gone maternity ward. Every possible gadget that could be required for a birth was brought into his lab for the occasion. Vexen worked fast as Roxas lay on the table, unconscious._

_"Get it out!" Axel exclaimed, angry and frustrated that he was so powerless._

_Vexen made a few incisions and there was darkness everywhere. Vexen swore and went to work, trying to deliver a viable baby and save Roxas in the process. Axel couldn't watch what was going on; he simply stared at Roxas' sleeping face._

_"Please wake up," he whispered._

_Vexen had the baby out and handed her—a girl—over to Marluxia, the impromptu nurse. He worked to resuscitate the baby, who was not breathing, while Vexen tried to save Roxas. All machines were beeping and screeching while they worked. Axel closed his eyes. He heard one of the machines start beeping solidly, while the other flatlined._

_"Please," he whispered as he opened his eyes. _Roxas stirred on the table; the baby lay unmoving.

"Baby?" Roxas managed before Vexen gave him more anesthetic. Axel looked over to Marluxia, who was continuing chest compressions. His face lost hope with each one.

Roxas fought to stay awake. "Where's…my baby?" he said before going under again. Axel walked over to the table where the baby lay.

"Please wake up," he whispered, for Roxas' sake, as Marluxia gave one final chest compression. Machines came alive as a small cry was heard as the baby, a girl, was immediately carried off and prepped to be put into a special incubator to continue her growth.

Axel turned back to see Vexen putting the final sutures into Roxas' abdomen. "We were lucky," he explained," I was able to save some of his intestines. His waste will have to be disposed of in a bag now, but I'm sure Roxas would rather be alive."

"Definitely," Axel said as he settled down next to Roxas, holding his hand.

-((a few hours later))-

Axel woke from his brief doze to see Roxas beginning to stir. Axel moved close to the bed again as Roxas opened his eyes.

"Axel?" Roxas said weakly.

"Hey Rox," Axel said, a relieved smile on his face.

"Where's the baby?" Roxas asked.

"The baby's fine Roxas, she just has a bit more growing to do." He gestured to the incubator across the room. "Her lungs still need to develop completely."

"Her? A daughter?"

"Yes, Rox, we—" he stopped, suddenly overwhelmed by it all, "We have a daughter," he finished, his voice cracking.

Roxas smiled as broadly as one can from a hospital bed. "We have a daughter," Roxas repeated, equally as stunned. "A daughter! Axel, what should we name her?"

"I think you've earned that right," Axel replied, glancing at all of the machines and Roxas' new digestion bag.

"Oh, quit being such a downer, Axel, that's my job," Roxas said, winking. "Do you have any ideas?"

Axel thought for a moment. "How about we wait until we can take her out of the incubator? Then she'll officially be 'born'," Axel explained.

"Sounds like a good plan," Roxas said, yawning. "I think I'll…take a nap again."

"Good idea Rox," Axel said, smiling.

-((three months later))-

Roxas practically tackled Axel to wake him up one morning. "Come on, Axel, get up! Today we get to hold the baby!"

Axel rolled over and glanced at the clock. "Roxas, it's four-thirty in the morning. Not even Vexen will be up this early to let us into his lab," he said as he rolled over.

"Well I can't sleep anymore, I'm too excited," he said as he crawled up and straddled Axel's waist while jumping up and down.

"Roxas be careful!" Axel said, suddenly serious, "you don't want to upset your—"

"My bag is fine and digesting in a perfectly normal manner, thank you Mr. Worrier, and if you'll stop brooding—"

"I'm starting to see why you'd do this all the time," Axel muttered.

"You have to entertain me to keep me distracted!" Roxas finished. "And when I say, entertain me, I mean _entertain me,_" he said as he laid completely down on top of Roxas.

Axel looked away. "You know for a fact we used the last condom last night…"

"We don't need them, Axel! There's nothing left in my body for a baby to attach to!"

"Of course there is Rox!" Axel said, sitting up and taking Roxas with him, "it could be even worse if there's a next time!"

"There won't be Axel," Roxas said quietly.

Axel narrowed his eyes. "So if you got pregnant again—"

"We would abort the baby. I have to be around for this one, and besides, the likelihood was small enough in the first place for this one, no one even understands how it happened—"

"We seem to be the presidents of the small likelihood club…" Axel pouted.

"You need to stop being such a downer! You're going to make our child into an emo kid!" Roxas said, smiling. "I'm tired of being the happy one who has to coerce you into having sex all the time. That's your job and, frankly, I miss being coerced," Roxas said, winking.

"I'm alive, Axel," he continued, caressing Axel's cheek, "I'm alive and well right here, with you and our baby."

Axel smiled. "I'm glad things will be getting back to normal…now, how about I distract you for a few hours while we wait to see the baby?"

Roxas smiled and flopped back down on the bed. "That's more like it!"

-((a few hours later))-

Roxas was practically vibrating on the spot; he was finding it that hard to contain his excitement. Axel stood behind him as he sat in the rocking chair, waiting for Vexen to bring them the baby. Vexen carried her over to Roxas who took her gently, cradling her close to his chest. Her tuft of red hair made her unmistakably Axel's child.

"Well, at least you know I wasn't sleeping with anyone else," Roxas joked lightly. Axel didn't reply, but continued to watch their child. As if sensing something was going on, the baby opened her bright blue eyes and looked up at Roxas and Axel.

"Roxanne," Axel whispered.

"What?" Roxas said, twisting up to look at him.

"Let's name her Roxanne," he suggested, "Look at those eyes. And without you, she wouldn't be here."

Roxas considered it. "Roxanne it shall be," he proclaimed, "but I'm your only Roxy."

Axel laughed. "Deal."

Roxas looked to Vexen. "When can we take her upstairs?"

Vexen shrugged. "She's strong enough now. Tonight if you would like."

"That sounds wonderful," Roxas said as he rocked his baby back and forth.

-((Roxanne's first night in their room))-

Roxas paced the room, making shushing noises as Roxanne's loud, piercing screams filled the air.

"Her lungs are definitely healthy now," Axel deadpanned as he rolled over, giving up on trying to get some sleep when it wasn't his turn.

"She's just fussy," Roxas explained, trying to get her to settle down in this new place. "Shhhh, it's okay Roxy…"

"Hey, I thought you said that we weren't going to call her Roxy?" Axel asked.

Roxas grinned. "I said _you_ couldn't call her Roxy," he explained as he continued to calm Roxanne down. "There we go," he crooned as he put her in her crib across from Axel's bed, "aaalll better!"

"No doubt Demyx is camping with Zexion tonight," Axel said, referencing his poor neighbors.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the Superior takes pity on Saix," Roxas replied softly as he came to bed. "She's finally quiet," he said as he lay down next to Axel under the covers.

"Miracles happen," Axel replied before kissing Roxas on the cheek. "Night, Roxy."

Roxas grinned. "Goodnight, Axel."

As if on cue, a piercing wail filled room. Axel sighed and rolled over Roxas to see to the upset infant.

"What was that you said earlier about things getting back to normal?" Roxas said after him.

Axel threw his pillow at him.

-((let's fast forward and let the plot begin shall we?))-

"Axel."

Axel sat on his bed with his head in his hands.

"Axel."

"How did this happen?" he whispered softly.

"_Axel."_

Axel looked up. "She's turning two today! How did this _happen?_" he repeated to Roxas, who stood in front of him, pulling on a shirt.

"Children grow, they're funny that way," Roxas replied, "and if you don't shut up you'll wake her, and then we can't have birthday sex as presents to ourselves."

"I don't know why you're putting that shirt on then," Axel murmured as he came close to Roxas, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He looked over Roxas' head to the crib.

"Roxas."

"Hmmmmmm?" Roxas murmured contentedly against Axel's chest.

"Why is our child sleeping on top of the dresser instead of the crib?"

"_What?" _Roxas exclaimed and turned around to see Roxanne open her eyes on top of the dresser.

"So much for not waking her up," Axel said dryly. They continued to watch as she stretched and blinked. Then, they watched as she appeared to sink into the dresser. Roxas rushed forward but she was already gone; her 'I'm awake' cry emitted from the crib. Roxas blinked in astonishment.

"Did she just—"

"use a _portal?_" Roxas finished. "Oh no, Axel, she could transport _anywhere_ and not even realize! What if—"

"Up," came the plaintive cry from the crib.

Axel put a finger over his mouth. "Hush Rox, we haven't even taken her to Twilight Town yet. The farthest places she'd go would be to the lab or the cafeteria to get into the cookie jar."

By now, Roxanne was trying to climb out of the crib. "UP!" she yelled, demanding attention.

Axel walked over to the crib. "It's okay baby, it's time to celebrate!"

Roxas looked doubtful. "As long as she doesn't go anywhere without us, I guess it'll be okay…"

-((less than a year later))-

"_What do you mean you can't find her?" _Roxas said as he finished off the last Heartless in Tram Common.

"She wanted to play with you over here and when I told her no, she made a portal and ran into it," Axel explained, "the portal closed before I could follow her."

"This is what happens when a three year old comes on missions; she should never have even been here—"

"You know the Superior is dying to see if she has any keyblade ability," Axel put in.

"And now she could be in Agrabah for all we know!" Roxas said, worry increasing with every second.

"I don't think so," Axel mused, "she's never taken a portal out of the world we're in; I'm starting to wonder if she knows how to. She has to be somewhere in Twilight Town…Where is her favorite place to go?"

Roxas immediately opened a portal to the Sea Salt ice cream stand.

-((20 minutes later))-

"This is ridiculous," Roxas said as he paced in worry, "we've checked the ice cream stand, the mansion, the sandlot, and even Yen Sid's Tower! I'm really starting to think she's in another world, Axel," Roxas started to pace in a circle around Axel.

Axel stopped him. "Come on now, Rox, it's only been-" he looked up at the clock to see how much time had passed and stopped. He opened a portal.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned.

"I'll be back in one second," he said, leaving Roxas no time to protest. Axel was back thirty seconds later with Roxanne in tow.

"Roxanne!" Roxas cried in relief as he ran over to them and took her from Axel's arms. "You're safe! You know better than to run off without us!"

"Play," Roxanne said, pouting.

"You couldn't play then, Roxy, we told you that. You just need to listen," Roxas said, sternness evaporating by the end of the sentence. He looked up at Axel. "Where did you know to look?"

"Oh, I saw her on the edge of the clock tower when I looked to see the time," Axel said as if commenting about the weather.

Roxas almost dropped Roxanne. "I don't even know what to say," Roxas said.

"Nothing," Axel said, moving to embrace his family. Roxanne squirmed between Roxas and Axel. "She's safe, that's all that matters."

"We're terrible parents aren't we, Axel?" Roxas questioned honestly.

"Not terrible, just fun," Axel replied, winking.

-((END!))-

OMG That was longer than I expected. AND I lost about a half a page because my computer freaked out…I hate that. Because once I write it I can't get it back. But it could've been worse!

And the chapter title sounds like a Sitcom. XD

R and R!

Last one: Amnesia!

_"Why the hell would someone have sex on the side of the road?" he continued, more to himself._

_Sora, unfortunately, heard him. "Many reasons Riku! Don't you remember that one time it was hot and the air conditioner was broken so we—"_

_"Yes, Sora, I remember," Riku said quickly, cutting him off before more people stared at him._

~freaky-hanyou


	96. Backfired: MarVexen

First of all I give myself a million points for inadvertently updating for AkuRoku day WITH an AkuRoku. XD Happy day. SAD day is that I start classes tomorrow. So I figured it was only right that today I have one more summer update before I get chained to books and work and kanji and busy-ness.

And as a note, I have an idea for a oneshot that won't leave my head called **Questions Later,** so make sure I'm on your Author Alerts for when I write that dirty little number ;P

This is connected to chapter 81, **Upside Down,** so you might want to go give that a refresher, but it should stand without it either way.

Additional PS, if you notice I went through and wrote down which pairing is which story. I've always hated stories that made you dig if you wanted a specific story, and I never realized that OH HEY MY OWN STORY DOES THAT. So I fixed it. And I particularly recommend rereading Dr. Seuss, I loled.

**What If…**

_Marluxia was messing with Vexen and caused himself_

_To turn nice and adorable?_

_((as suggested by ze lovely NightFlowerLuv))_

"_Hey Vexen…"_

"What are you working on, _Vexy?"_

"What chilly academics are you coming up with _today?"_

"That looks interesting, _Vexen…"_

-((the fun begins!))-

"I can't take it anymore!" Vexen monologued to himself as he journeyed downstairs to his laboratory, every day, without fail, whenever I am working on my most important project, Marluxia _interrupts _me!" he pinked as he remembered those pleasant 'interruptions.'

His monologue continued as he approached his worktable. "He needs to be punished somehow…he needs to learn that 'interruptions' need to happen in the proper time and place…" Vexen continued to mutter to himself as he slowly formulated a plan to have his revenge.

"A little niceness and courtesy would do him a great deal…" He pulled ingredients for a special potion off the counter and began to mix them together.

_He should interrupt me soon, _Vexen thought as he fully completed the potion. _For effect I should continue…_ "Two more drops of this and it will be complete!" he dramatically flourished the last ingredient as he 'added' it, waiting for Marluxia to interrupt him.

"Morning _Vexen,_" Marluxia whispered against his ear.

Vexen feigned surprise. "Damn it all Marluxia," he blustered, "that was a very important potion!"

"Indeed," Marluxia said mysteriously, "and what was this one for, exactly?"

"Why, Kingdom Hearts of course!" Vexen improvised. "It's supposed to improve…performance," he finished lamely.

"Performance?" Marluxia brightened, waggling his eyebrows. "I didn't realize that performance was _lacking_," he insinuated. "Maybe I should try some of this potion," he said as he picked it up, "do you think my _performance_ needs enhancing?"

"No," Vexen stuttered, "I mean, yes, I mean—" Vexen gave up as Marluxia shrugged and downed the potion.

Vexen mentally congratulated himself as Marluxia dropped to the floor. _My flawless acting pays off at last!_ He feigned concern as he moved to help Marluxia stand.

"Are you alright Marluxia? You seemed to have taken a fall!" he said as he helped Marluxia to his feet.

"Wow, I'm sorry Vexen! I didn't mean to cause you any trouble!" Marluxia smiled brightly as he looked at Vexen. "I must be having an off day; I can't even remember why I came down here!" he laughed to himself as he headed for the stairs. "Have a good day Vexen!"

Vexen laughed to himself as he returned to his work. "Oh believe me, I will…"

-((the next day))-

"What a wonderful day yesterday was!" Vexen monologued, "I've gotten more work done than I have in a week!" He calmly settled at his work desk for another day of fruitful experimentation.

"And this potion only needs three more drops!" He carefully dropped them in with no interruption. He smiled in satisfaction as the quiet surrounded him.

-((the next day))-

"Hmm, I never realized how much Marluxia must go out of his way to visit," Vexen mused, "I truly only see him in passing at meal times…" Vexen shook himself out of that line of thinking. "It's not like I miss his company or anything…Back to work!"

-((two days later))-

Vexen's hands were shaking as he mixed the potions. "It's too quiet….I can't believe I'm saying this…"

He stood abruptly from the table. "I need to seduce Marluxia."

-((oh boy))-

Vexen headed upstairs and began to roam the halls, searching for Marluxia. _He's usually prowling about this time of day,_ he thought. He found him walking out of the cafeteria, carrying a heavy pile of books for Zexion. _The perfect situation…_

"I really appreciate your help, Number XI," Zexion said, "but there's really no need to—watch out!" Vexen strolled right into Marluxia, books scattering to the ground.

"Oh my," Marluxia said, "I'm sorry!" he bent to pick up the books.

"My apologies," Vexen added as he bent down to help Marluxia pick up the books. He 'accidentally' brushed up against Marluxia's hands a few times, lingering for effect. If Marluxia noticed he paid no mind; instead, he gathered the books, thanked Vexen for his help, and continued to carry them down the hall for Zexion.

_Wow, _Vexen thought as he was left alone, _he really is…nice._

-((later))-

_This should do it, _Vexen thought determinedly as he walked towards Marluxia's workspace, _his weakness has always been my neck and collarbone…_

Upon being admitted to Marluxia's garden office, he headed straight for Marluxia, who was tending a few exotic purple flowers.

"I was in the greenhouses today, and I think one of your plants may have bitten me," Vexen explained as he unzipped his jacket to reveal the upper part of his chest and two small punctures that he had made with a needle. "Is it poisoned?"

Marluxia seemed to hesitate. _Got him,_ Vexen thought.

"What kind of plant was it?" Marluxia asked as he appeared to mentally shake himself and get down to business. _Damn._

"I-I couldn't tell, there were so many," Vexen improvised. Marluxia peered at his clavicle with a critical eye before dismissing him.

"You're fine; there's no evidence of poison," he said as he turned back to his work.

_This is bad,_ Vexen thought desperately as he thanked him and turned to go, _I'm running out of options. _

"Marluxia?" Vexen asked as he stopped at the door.

"Yes?" he said, looking up from his plants.

"Could you meet me in my lab in an hour? I need your advice on an ingredient," he asked. Marluxia nodded and Vexen walked out the door.

-((an hour later))-

"Vexen?" Marluxia called out as he came down the stairs, "I'm here; what did you need help wi—" Marluxia was cut off as Vexen appeared in front of him and slammed his mouth over his, pushing him against the wall. Marluxia tried to pull back but Vexen just moved to kiss his jaw, face, and anywhere he could reach.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he murmured as he continued to kiss him, "I'm sorry I gave you that potion, I shouldn't have," he continued to kiss him before he noticed that Marluxia was shaking. He looked up and saw that Marluxia could no longer contain himself, and he burst out laughing.

Vexen watched in confusion as Marluxia continued to laugh. He wiped a tear from his eye and composed himself. "That was priceless," Marluxia said, wrapping his arms around Vexen's waist, "when you plan to take revenge on a coworker-lover who visits you regularly, you shouldn't make your plans _aloud,"_ he said, snickering.

Vexen was stunned. "You knew the whole time?"

Marluxia nodded. "Your acting is terrible, by the way."

Vexen looked affronted, but it didn't occur to him to pull away from Marluxia. "But…you drank the potion!"

"I switched it when you didn't notice," Marluxia said offhandedly, "I just wanted to prove to you that my deviousness is within reason," he said as he moved his head closer to Vexen's neck. "Although, your attempts to seduce me were rather diabolical and nearly worked…"

"I…I missed you," Vexen let out quickly before blushing.

"Good," Marluxia said, "because I about died without you for three days," he grinned and switched their positions, pinning Vexen against the wall. "So you've learned to appreciate my interruptions?"

Vexen nodded vigorously as Marluxia ran his hands up and down Vexen's sides. "Good," he whispered as he kissed him passionately.

-((End!))-

Don't worry, I swear the oneshot I plan on writing is going to have a lot of macking. XD

Let me know what you think, unfortunately I have to learn tomorrow : (

R & R!

Last one: Earth Day!

_"I believe this is yours," Riku said dryly before pushing Sora in the doorway and dragging Roxas out with him, shutting the door after them._

~freaky-hanyou


	97. Sephiroth: Cleon

I am not a happy camper right now. I have been going nonstop since 7 this morning, and when I could be going to bed, _I __am __updating __this __frigging __story._ Why? Because I wrote my own you see, but no one is reviewing, so apparently only ideas that aren't my own matter.

Seriously, if it wasn't my idea I'd make **Questions ****Later** a chapter in this story. And if I don't get any reviews for it, don't expect me to update this. I'm that bitchy right now :p (there's no bitch smile face lol)

So this chapter's going to be a bit _angsty_ because I could be SLEEPING RIGHT NOW.

AND unless there are no objections, I'm going to up this rating to M and make me some raunchy oneshots in the near future

_That's if you review._

Ahem. I know nothing about Cloud and Sephiroth's canon relationship, so this is all me.

**What If…**

_Leon found Cloud collapsed outside his front door in the middle of the night_

_after another fight with Sephiroth? _

_((as suggested by the dear Rita))_

_AND_

_Cloud and Leon were together but Sephiroth (Cloud's past lover) showed up?_

_((as suggested by the one, the only Gryphon icefire 98))_

_THUMP._

Leon looked up from his book as he looked over at the front door from his position in the living room. _Am __I __hearing __things?_ He heard another halfhearted _thump_ and put his book down. _Here __we __go __again__…_

Leon walked to the front door and opened it; sprawled on the steps outside his front door lay a prone Cloud, who looked worse for wear but was grinning from ear to ear. He sported a bright black and blue bruise on his left cheek.

"Going at it again with Sephiroth, huh?" Leon asked sardonically as he helped Cloud stand up and walk into the house. Cloud continued to smile.

"It's different this time, Leon, I swear," he stated enthusiastically as Leon sat him down on the couch.

"How so?" Leon asked sarcastically, "he threw you into the table instead of the wall?"

"No…" Cloud said, looking away. Then, he regained his earlier fervor. "This time, I'm done. I'm not going back!"

"You say that every time I find you sprawled on my front steps," Leon replied.

"No, I really am!" Cloud persisted, "I finally broke it off with him!"

"As in you actually said words in which the point 'our relationship is over' was made?" Leon asked. Cloud nodded. "Not, 'I hate you' or 'I never want to see you again'?" Leon continued, "You tried those already."

Cloud shook his head but then regretted it as he held his temple. "No, I really broke up with him! I won't go back," he said with determination in his eyes.

"We'll see how you feel about that in a few days," Leon muttered to himself as he went to get Cloud some ice for his cheek.

-((a week later))-

"Thanks for letting me stay here," Cloud said as he sipped his coffee at the breakfast table.

Leon looked up from the newspaper. "You can stay as long as you like," he said, smiling. _You __can __stay __forever __if __you __want,_ Leon thought. _Careful __Leon, __we __don__'__t __want __to __scare __the __already __damaged __love __interest._

"How about we celebrate a week of freedom by getting out of the house?" Leon suggested.

Cloud looked troubled. "I don't know, Leon…"

"I know what you're thinking. He won't find us because we won't stay out very long," Leon explained. "We'll just go pick up some breakfast at the coffee shop; sound like a good plan?"

Cloud thought for a moment before smiling happily. "Let's do it."

-((to the coffee shop!))-

_This __is __nice,_Leon thought as he and Cloud waited in line to place their order, _I __could __get __used __to __this. _He glanced over at Cloud, who was perusing the menu. _I __mean, __nothing __too __serious __of __course, __nothing __would __happen __for __a __while, __but __just __being __with __him __is __nice-_

"Cloud."

_Fuck._

Cloud's entire body froze at the sound of _that_ voice. Leon mentally braced for the worst.

Cloud and Leon slowly turned to face Cloud's ex-boyfriend Sephiroth, who now stood in line behind them. "Squall," he greeted cooly, before turning back to matters at hand.

"Where have you been?" Sephiroth asked quietly, trying to look Cloud in the eye. Cloud avoided his gaze. "You haven't come home, I miss you," he continued in a cool voice.

Cloud still would not look at Sephiroth. "I-I told you, I'm not coming back," he said, voice cracking slightly before he looked Sephiroth in the eye. "It's over," he said forcefully and with confidence. Anger sparked in Sephiroth's eyes.

"Why, you—" Leon stepped in front of Cloud, preventing Sephiroth from striking him and causing even more of a scene.

"You heard the man," Leon said, taking Cloud's hand as he urged him towards the door. "He isn't coming back."

-((fast forward))-

Cloud practically broke down the door to enter the house. "That was, I mean, Sephiroth was, and then you were, but, Sephiroth-"

Leon put his hands on Cloud's shoulders and walked him to the couch. Sitting next to him, he said reassuringly, "You're okay Cloud, we're home now. You're safe; you never have to see him again." He pulled Cloud in for a hug. Cloud gripped him tightly.

"Thank you Leon," he whispered, pulling back slightly to look in Leon's eyes. "You've always known exactly what to say…"

"It's what I'm best at," Leon stuttered out, mesmerized by Cloud's proximity.

"Leon," Cloud began, "I know you must think I'm insane, and that I have terrible issues with myself and control, but…" he looked up into Leon's eyes and couldn't continue. He tried again. "I mean, I….Hell with this," he gave up and closed the distance between them.

Leon's eyes widened as Cloud kissed him, slowly moving his lips over Leon's. He responded for a second before pushing back on Cloud's shoulders. "Cloud, Sephiroth is still-"

"I know, I know I still have a shitload of issues to deal with Sephiroth," Cloud finished for him, "but I've known that you were the one for a long time," he whispered. "I've just never had the courage to actually do it." He sighed. "I'm so fucked up…can we just do this, and skip the thinking?" he said only half-jokingly.

Leon pushed Cloud back flat on the couch in response. "I'm in if you're in," Leon murmured before closing his lips once again over Cloud's.

-((the next morning))-

Leon smiled to himself as he awoke in his bed the next morning. _That __was__…__perfect,_ he thought to himself as he rolled over, _but __nothing __is __more __perfect __than __waking __up __next __to__…__huh? _He rolled over, but instead of seeing Cloud's sleeping visage he saw an empty bed with a note bearing a single word:

_Sorry._

Leon screamed in frustration and hurt.

-((saw that coming, ne? A week later))-

Leon stood in the same line at the same coffeehouse one afternoon, waiting to order. _At __least __some __things __never __change,_ he brooded to himself. Then, he looked over to the door at the sound of its welcoming jingle to see Sephiroth entering with his arm slung over Cloud's shoulders.

_Yep, _Leon thought ironically, _Some things definitely never change. _Cloud immediately noticed Leon and looked away.

"Squall," Sephiroth greeted in the same cool tone. Leon skipped the small talk.

"Is the sex really that good?" Leon asked, looking directly at Cloud, who still wouldn't look at him, "because I can see no other reason that you'd go back. There is absolutely nothing healthy about your relationship!" Seeing that Cloud still wouldn't look at him, he turned to leave before he was asked to leave by a manager.

"So it really is the sex, then?" he stopped at the door without turning around and continued, "It must be; that's the only important thing to you in a relationship."

He stepped out the door onto the busy street.

-((a couple days later))-

_THUMP._

Leon looked up yet again from his book. _That __isn__'__t __what __I __think __it __is,_ he thought to himself before returning to his book.

_THUMP._

He looked over at the door. _Still __not __what __I __think __it __is._

_THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP-_

"Oh for the love of god, Cloud, would you-" he stopped after opening the door, seeing Cloud standing on the front steps, just barely.

"Leon….sorry…left…really…" Cloud let out, swaying on the spot, clearly about to pass out from abuse. Bruises marked his arms and face, as well as his neck.

"Sorry," he muttered before he started to fall backwards. Leon caught him and dragged him to the sofa, laying him down.

After putting a few cold compresses on Cloud, he started to stir. "Leon…?" he murmured, trying to sit up. Leon held him down on the couch.

"Shhhh," he said, "Stay still or you'll get dizzy again." Cloud gave up moving, but continued to speak.

"Leon, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—" he trailed off with a few more 'I'm sorry's before passing out again. Leon then decided to make him some soup.

When Leon came back with the soup, Cloud was sitting up on the couch, holding the compress to his forehead.

"Cloud, lay back down or you'll—" Leon protested.

"No," Cloud cut him off, "I need to say this. What I did was wrong, and I don't even deserve to be in this house," he said, "let alone talking to you and eating your soup."

"Cloud—"

"He always knew what to say!" he interrupted, looking Leon in the eye, "in answer to your earlier question…he always knew the exact thing that would get me to come back," he whispered before he trailed off and looked down. He took a deep breath before looking up again, "But so do you. You know everything to say and more; you're smart, kind, funny, caring-"

Leon put down the soup and placed a kiss on Cloud's lips. Cloud smiled.

"We'll get you through this," he said as he sat next to Cloud on the couch, "together."

-((End!))-

YES! You have no idea how much it cost me to make time to write this.

_Just __review __something._

Still love, of course.

Last one: Date Night!

_Cloud __chuckled. __"Wow, __Leon, __I __didn't __know __your __taste __in __underwear __was __so__…_risqué_."_

~freaky-hanyou


	98. Masquerade: Soriku

PAPER FACES ON PARAAAAADE—

Ahem.

I feel like fanfiction readers are giving me the cold shoulder and I don't like it. I feel like I can fix this in one of two ways: Updating so my story appears in the Just In and new (reviewing) people hit upon this, OR Updating and old (reviewing) people re-hit upon this.

Either way it seems that I need to prove to you I exist.

So we're having a confidence dilemma here. No reviews makes me nervous. And for the love of holy, I've had **Questions ****Later** up for a week and not a review! Or a favorite, even. Is it really that bad? If it is, say something!

So here's me, proving my mettle. I wish you'd do the same :)

And this is Halloween-ish too; Unfortunately; there will be no Phantom singing :( Heehee.

**What If…**

_There was a masquerade complete with_

_Sora & Riku shenanigans?_

_((as suggested by the darling Zesty))_

Sora lay on Riku's bed, reading a magazine while Riku checked his email on the computer. He looked up at Riku from the corner of his eye.

_I __should __ask __him__…_he thought to himself, absent-mindedly turning a page of the magazine without really reading it, _it __couldn__'__t __hurt._

_Then __again,_ he argued with himself, _it __could __do __a __lot __of __hurt. __I__'__m __pretty __sure __he __knows __I __like __him, __but __he__'__s __never __shown __any __sign __of __interest__… __I __don__'__t __want __to __ruin __anything. __Maybe __if __I__—_

"You look like you're having a particularly troubling inner monologue," Riku interrupted. He had swiveled the computer chair around to face Sora and was grinning at him. "Care to share?"

Sora hid his blush by looking down at the magazine. "Well…are you going to Namine's Masquerade on Halloween?" he asked nonchalantly.

_Too __nonchalantly, _Riku thought. _I __think __I __know __where __this __is __going__…_ "Why do you ask?" Riku asked, wanting to be sure he was getting the right message.

"Oh I don't know," Sora continued with his fake casualness, "I was just wondering. If you were, we could just drive there together because Namine lives outside of the city," he justified.

"Oh," Riku said, turning his chair back to face the computer. _That __was __a __good __cover ,__but __I __see __that __underlying __meaning, _he thought. "Well, I don't think I'm going to go," he said, opening a window on the computer to look distracted, "I think I have a date with a guy I met at the grocery store that night," he paused, letting the bomb drop.

"I see," Sora said, trying and failing to hide his disappointment, "that's cool," he continued, "I was just checking.

Riku didn't reply and continued to hit buttons on the computer. _I__'__m __sorry, __Sora,_he thought to himself while trying to think of a way to cover the awkward silence, _I __just __don__'__t __want __to __lead __you __on__…We wouldn't work well together._

Sora stood, relieving Riku of his search for a conversation topic. "Well I need to get home," Sora said casually, "I still need to get my costume together."

"What are you going as?" Riku asked.

"A Victorian gentleman," Sora replied, "when I think of a giant masquerade ball, that's the first thing I think of."

"You would," Riku said, laughing to himself when Sora waved goodbye. He sighed as the door closed. He rolled his computer chair back and looked up at the ceiling.

"What am I going to do?" he said, before closing his eyes in thought.

-((stupid Riku))-

Riku pulled his car up to the old mansion, getting out to let the valet park the car. _Wow,_ Riku thought as he looked at the old building, _it __really __is __a __Masquerade __ball. _As he approached the steps, Riku saw a number of guys and girls dressed in Victorian-style costumes, masks adorning their faces. _I __guess __Sora __wasn__'__t __the __only __one __with __that __idea,_ he smiled to himself.

He stepped into the ballroom and took in the scene. _I __shouldn__'__t __be __here_, he thought as he admired the soft light illuminating the grand room, tables of food with jack-o-lanterns at every corner. The floor was left open for dancing; even the DJ would occasionally play a waltz or a swing dance.

_I __told __Sora __I __wasn__'__t __going __to __be __here; __this __is __lying,_ he quarreled with himself as he stood near the entrance way. Soon, he felt the eyes of someone upon him. Looking around the room, he spied one of the Victorian gentleman eyeing him. His chestnut hair was slicked back from his face, which was covered with a deep blue mask. His waistcoat was the same shade of blue, complementing his black-tailed suit with ruffled shirt.

Riku tried not to stare back at him. Surprisingly, he was strangely at ease with the way the man was ogling him. _I __should __be __uncomfortable __with __this,_ he thought to himself, wondering why the guy wasn't creeping him out. _Random __men __don__'__t __randomly __ogle __other __men__…__unless __it__'__s __a __masquerade__…_

As the gentleman approached him, Riku decided to see how this would pan out.

-((awe yeah))-

Sora stood in the corner of the ballroom, trying not to look depressed. _Riku__'__s __on a __date __right __now __with __Mr. __Grocery __Store__…_he thought dejectedly as he nodded at passerby commenting on his costume. He watched the groups dance on the dance floor, sighing.

_You __know __what?_ he thought to himself, _hell __with __this. __So __Riku__'__s __picking __up __people __at __grocery __stores, when I've liked him for years, __who __cares? _He stood up straighter, infused with confidence. _This __is __a __masquerade! __I __can __be __whoever __I __want __to __be__…myself. _he turned to look at the entrance and saw a man dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride enter the room. He couldn't see much of him, for he was wearing all black everywhere except the lower half of his face. Sora couldn't stop staring.

_That __is __the __sexiest __jaw __I__'__ve __ever __seen, _Sora said, blatantly ogling the man. Instead of entering the party, the man just stood there, watching the crowd.

_This __is __just __what __I __need, _Sora thought as he approached the Dread Pirate Roberts. The pirate pretended to ignore him until he was close enough to be spoken to; then he looked over with a serious pirate mien.

"Good evening," Sora said, bowing regally to the pirate. "Would you be interesting in taking a turn about the room?" _It__'__s __a __masquerade; __he__'__d __blow __me __off __if __he __didn__'__t __want __me __to __hit __on __him, __right?_

"No," the pirate said succinctly; Sora's smile dropped. He turned to walk away as a waltz began to play, "but I would enjoy a dance." Sora's smile returned.

"To the dance floor then!" Sora took the pirate's hand and led him to the dance floor. Once he let go of his hand, the pirate immediately took the lead.

"Sorry," the pirate said, "I only know how to lead." He looked anything but apologetic. As he swung them about the room in time to the music, he asked, "So what brings you to this ball?"

Sora's smile dropped a degree, "Let's just say that I'm getting over some heartache with some well-needed action," he said, smirking.

"Well, good sir, life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something," he said, Sora laughed.

"You've rehearsed your part quite well!" he commended him.

The pirate moved his mouth closer to Sora's ear. "As for the _action_ of the evening, I'm sure I could help you there," he whispered. Sora shivered as they moved in time to the music.

-((switch!))-

_The pirate moved his mouth closer to Sora's ear. "As for the action of the evening, I'm sure I could help you there," he whispered. Sora shivered as they moved in time to the music._

_What __am __I __doing? _Riku thought to himself as he whirled the nameless man across the dance floor. _I__'__m __hitting __on __someone __I __don__'__t __even __know! _He smiled a devilish smile as the gentleman pulled back from his face in surprise, blushing underneath his mask. He laughed. _I __like __this. __This __feels__…__right._

The music ended and the gentleman regained his composure, bowing to him. "Would you like to go get some punch?" he asked. Riku nodded, and the two walked over to the nearest punch table.

"So what brings you to this party?" the gentleman asked him, returning his question from earlier.

"I….don't know," Riku said, looking away slightly. The gentleman smiled brightly.

"Not knowing is the greatest adventure!" he said happily before sipping his punch and looking over the crowd.

Riku's eyes widened beneath his mask. _Sora __says __that __all __the __time__…__!_ Riku looked at the gentleman closely. _That__'__s __not __Sora,_ he concluded. _His __hair__'__s __too __weird __and __he__'__s __not __silly __enough. __Besides, __this __man__'__s __carrying __himself __in __a __completely __different __way. __He__'__s __so __sure __of __himself __and __full __of __life. __It __can__'__t __be __Sora._

The gentleman noticed his sudden panic. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Riku said, waving him off, "you just reminded me of someone, but it's not important." He spied a door leading outside. "Would you like to go onto the verandah?"

_Hah, __he __said __verandah._"I would love to."

-((Switch!))-

_This __is __so __weird!_ Sora exclaimed mentally as the pirate held the verandah door open for him. _Here __I __am, __flirting __with __a __random __man, __and __now __we__'__re __out __on __the __secluded verandah__! __What __do __I __do? __I __know! __I__'__ll __just __pretend __I __know __what __to __do!_Sora calmed himself down and resumed his suave demeanor, leaning against the rail.

"It's quiet out here," Sora said, trying to convey a leer through a mask. It must have worked, because the pirate moved closer.

"It's true there isn't that many people out here," the pirate said, moving even closer.

"Who are you?" Sora suddenly spat out, becoming slightly nervous.

The pirate's smile grew wider. "No one of consequence," he murmured as he curled his hands around Sora's waist.

"I must know," Sora replied faintly, losing his battle of wills with reason.

"Get used to disappointment," the pirate said before sealing his lips over Sora's, pushing him against the railing. Sora quickly threw caution to the wind and pressed the pirate's face closer to his. The pirate worked his hands underneath Sora's jacket as he plied Sora's mouth for entrance. The two battled for dominance while Sora moved his hands around to run up and down the pirate's chest. The pirate groaned and pushed closer to Sora, pressing his hips into his. They pulled back for air, panting.

"This is so much better than Mr. Grocery Store," Sora said before pulling the pirate down for another kiss. The pirate pulled away quickly, confused by the comment.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, the man I was interested is on a date with someone he met at the grocery store," he said nonchalantly as he leaned in for another kiss.

-((Switch and rewind a bit!))-

Riku groaned as he pushed closer to the gentleman, smiling against his lips. _Now __this __is __nice. __This __is __the __kind __of __man __I __could __fall __in __love __with. __He__'__s __perfect._

"This is so much better than Mr. Grocery Store," the gentleman said before pulling Riku in for another kiss. Riku pulled back quickly. _Now __that__'__s __not __a __normal __comment__…_

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, the man I was interested is on a date with someone he met at the grocery store," he said nonchalantly as he leaned in for another kiss.

Riku broke away from the gentleman, staring. _It __can__'__t __be__…_he looked at the man before him, and tried to equate him to Sora. _Sora? __I __suppose __it __could __be __true__… _Riku put all of his knowledge about Sora, his lifelong friend, together with the short knowledge of the gentleman he just made out with. _I __never __knew __that __Sora __was __so__…__perfect. __Some __friend __I __am. __I __should __make __it __up __to __him._

"I have to go," he said before turning away to walk towards the door.

"W-wait!" Sora started, reaching for him. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Riku said, turning to him with emotion burning in his eyes, "it is I who have wronged you." He gripped Sora's hand with both of his. "I will come for you soon," he said before pulling away again.

"But how can you be sure?" Sora protested. "You don't even know who I am!"

"But this is true love," he said, turning and smiling widely, "you think this happens every day?"

Then he turned and walked quickly back into the ballroom.

-((Switch!))-

_What __the __hell __was __that, _Sora continued to think as he drove home, _I __can__'__t __even __begin __to __comprehend __any __of __it__…_

Sora turned into his driveway to find the Dread Pirate Roberts sitting on his porch steps. _What __the __hell __is __this! _He thought as he got out of the car.

"What the hell is this?" he reiterated when he walked up to his steps. "Are you some kind of stalker or something? Because if you are, I'm going to-"

The pirate had taken off his mask and head cover, revealing it to be Riku. Sora stopped talking abruptly. "Riku…"

Riku closed in for a tender kiss. "I'm sorry," he murmured, pulling away, but wrapping his arms lightly around Sora's waist. "I'm so sorry, I never realized how perfect you are," he kissed Sora again. Sora blushed.

"I-I thought you were on a date," he replied lamely.

"I lied, I was trying to find an excuse not to go to the dance with you," Riku said, "besides, no one picks up anyone at the grocery store. Only you would believe that," he said, smirking. "I never realized how adorable that was. All this time I've been looking for a boyfriend and I never noticed the one right in front of me…I'm sorry I took so long," he said looking into Sora's eyes.

"Apology accepted," Sora said, pulling Riku towards him for a kiss.

-((End!))-

Idk, I've seen people suddenly like each other like that before. XD There are a few Princess Bride quotes in there, teehee!

Now, please show me some love. I really need it.

R&R!

Last one: The Underwear!

_"Hey!" he called out, grin disappearing. "He gave us condoms, not candy!"_

~freaky-hanyou


	99. The Box: Soriku Lemon

::giggles::

Hang on to your hats, younglings, it's time to get _dirty._

**What If…**

_Riku broke something extremely important to Sora, so Riku started_

_avoiding Sora because he thought Sora was mad at him?_

_((as suggested once upon a time by Zesty))_

_I'll be back in less than an hour, Riku, so just stay here!_

Riku sighed as he lay on Sora's bed, remembering the brunette's words as he left Riku alone in his bedroom. He just had a "quick errand to run," so there was no need for him to go all the way home only to come all the way back.

_It__'__s __fine, _Riku thought to himself, _being __alone __in __your __secret __love__'__s __room __is __perfectly __fine__…_ He closed his eyes in an attempt to drown out the temptation to explore. As soon as he closed his eyes, he inhaled deeply. The whole room smelled so…_Sora._

"I can't take it," Riku said, immediately sitting up and getting off of the bed. "He'll be gone for a little while longer…"

He hesitated as he stared around the room. _What __exactly __should __I __do? _He wondered. _Look __for __his __secret __porn __stash? __Prove __that __he__'__s __straight?_

He paused. _Prove __that __he__'__s __not__…_

Riku was torn between being a good friend and fulfilling his desire of professing his love to his best friend. If only he had some _proof__…_

He started in Sora's desk drawer. He sighed, finding nothing more than a harmless bottle of lotion and some tweezers…

He dropped down to look under the bed, finding spare socks, stray shoes, and a shoebox.

_A shoebox…_

Riku pulled the shoebox out from under the bed and shook it. It did not sound like shoes were inside…

He sat on the floor next to the bed, deciding whether or not to open it. _I __shouldn__'__t __do __this,_ he thought as he moved to put the box away, _I __am __betraying __Sora__'__s __trust._ He hesitated before putting the box completely down. _However, __it__'__s __one __small __betrayal __that __he __doesn__'__t __have __to __know __about; __it __could __lead __to __a __whole __new __realm __of __our __relationship!_

That decided, Riku set the box on his lap, a determined look on his face. However, he still could not bring himself to open the box. _I__'__ll __just__…__close __my __eyes,_ he thought, compromising with himself, _then __I__'__m __not __necessarily __looking__…_

Riku shut his eyes tightly and slowly removed the lid of the box. He reached inside; there was only one thing inside. He picked it up cautiously. It was firm, and cool, and he could wrap his hands around it. He ran his hands up and down the object, trying to figure out what it was.

_Wait a minute…_

Riku reached the bottom of the almost cylindrical object, finding a button. He hit the button, and when the object started to _vibrate,_ he—

"Gyaah!" Riku cried as he opened his eyes and flung the vibrator up in the air. It landed on the ground with a smack, vibrating softly.

He cautiously picked up the pink vibrator, turning it off. _This __isn__'__t __what __I __think __it __is,_ Riku thought to himself, staring at the object, willing it to be something else.

He turned it back on. It vibrated.

He turned it off.

He turned it back on. It vibrated.

He turned it off.

He turned it back on. Nothing happened.

"Shit, what happened," Riku muttered, clicking the button a few times. Nothing happened.

"Goddammit," he muttered, trying to figure out how he broke it. His heart stopped as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs to the bedroom. Riku hurriedly through the vibrator back into the shoebox, shoved it under the bed, and flopped onto the bed just as Sora came into the bedroom, shopping bag in hand.

"Find anything interesting while I was gone?" Sora teased.

Riku winced inwardly. "Nah," Riku tried to say offhandedly.

"Oh come on, my room's pretty cool," Sora defended, "why just yesterday I packed some fun games away under my bed, let me show you—"

"Actually, Sora, I just remembered my mom needed me to pick up a few things before dinner," he said, hurriedly standing up and already exiting the bedroom, "I'll call you later!"

Riku left before Sora could give a reply.

-((fast forward))-

Riku spent the next three days using every excuse he could think of to avoid Sora. Unfortunately, Riku could only hide for so long; which he found out once Sora cornered him on the beach one afternoon…

"You can only rearrange the living room furniture so much, Riku! Come on! We're going to my house," Sora said, turning away to walk towards his home.

"But Sora, I really—"

"And I really don't want to hear it Riku," he turned back to face Riku, eyes teeming with an unknown emotion, "I come home from the store and you run out of my room like your pants are on fire—"

_Oh __they __were __on __fire __alright, _Riku grimanced inwardly.

"You are going to explain to me what's going on. _Now,_" he said in a tone that meant 'if –you-don't-follow-me-you-wont-see-breakfast-tomorrow.

Riku silently followed Sora to his room.

-((awww yeah))-

Sora silently opened the door to his room; Riku silently entered and sat down on the bed.

Sora followed suit. "Now, what-"

"_I __searched __your __room __and __broke __your __vibrator!_" Riku exclaimed, unable to contain it any longer.

"…What?" was Sora's only reply.

"I wanted to…" Riku trailed off, clearing his throat. "I wanted to find some proof for myself that I wasn't misreading the fact that you might…that you might…like me, and I found this shoebox under the bed and I looked at what was inside but then it stopped working and I'm sor—"

Sora silenced Riku by smashing his lips against his; Riku automatically linked his arms around Sora's waist as Sora kissed him passionately. He pulled back, smiling.

"Silly Riku, why do you think I went to the store? The batteries were dying," he smirked deviously. "Although I really don't think I'll be needing them…" he winked.

Riku was in shock. "So you mean you—"

"Want you more than a never-ending Christmas Town? You bet," he smiled widely before pushing Riku down on the bed. "And you've now idea how long I've waited…" Sora lay down on top of Riku, placing butterfly kisses on Riku's lips.

"Why…didn't…you…say…so?" Riku said between kisses.

"Why didn't _you?_" Sora countered, placing feather-light kisses on Riku's neck.

Riku gasped. "Sorry if I'm not as confident as you, Mr. Vibrator," he quipped. He inhaled sharply when Sora bit down on Riku's collarbone.

"Don't worry," Sora whispered as he stared lovingly into Riku's eyes, "I have enough confidence and built-up sexual frustration for the both of us." His smile faltered a bit, however, when Riku pushed off of Sora and switched their positions, leaning over Sora with a smirk.

"Now Sora, I didn't say I didn't have _any_ confidence," he leaned down to whisper against Sora's lips. "And I have plenty of sexual frustration," he pulled one of Sora's lips between his teeth and began to nibble. Pleasure shot straight up from Sora's toes to rest in a place down south while Riku brought his lips completely over Sora's. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's neck, his hands coming to rest in Riku's hair. Riku slowly ran his tongue over Sora's lower lip, plying him for entrance. Sora smiled into the kiss as he opened his mouth to Riku. Riku worked his tongue over his while his hand made intricate patterns over Sora's shirt. Sora quickly grew irritated with the light ministrations and pushed Riku back in order to take off his shirt.

Riku tsked. "Impatient, are we?" he inquired.

Sora grinned. "You have no idea," he replied, reaching up to pull Riku back down to him by his hair. He moaned as Riku grazed his fingers up and down Sora's sides. Sora gripped Riku's hair in frustration while Riku continued to run his hands up and down his sides, never straying from his path.

"Riku…" Sora murmured.

"What?" he said innocently. "Problem?"

Sora groaned as Riku's hand softly stroked over a nipple. "Touch me…" he whispered passionately.

Riku smiled widely. "As you wish," he said before placing his lips back over Sora's, continuing the battle for dominance. As they danced, Sora's hands strayed from Riku's hair to push up under his shirt, stroking the quivering stomach underneath. Riku inhaled sharply before catching himself and continuing his path down Sora's body. His hands ghosted over Sora's waistline, one finger trailing lightly up the zipper. Sora gasped loudly as Riku lightly grazed his hand over the bulge in Sora's pants.

"Riku…" Sora huffed, "Stop teasing me…"

"Or what?" Riku goaded, clearly enjoying his position of power. Suddenly, Sora's hand darted out from underneath Riku's shirt to firmly grip Riku's member through his shorts. Riku gasped loudly.

"Or I'll get mean," Sora threatened, only half-jokingly. Riku raised an eyebrow, intrigued. He was so intrigued, that he continued to lightly caress Sora's member, adding only a light squeeze at the end of each stroke.

"Do your _worst!_" he ended up shouting as Sora abruptly flipped their positions, Riku somehow losing his shirt in the process.

"Oh, I will," Sora answered, before latching onto one of Riku's nipples and swirling it with his tongue, nipping it with his teeth just hard enough to cause Riku to gasp.

Riku pushed his head back into the pillow as Sora continued his trail down Riku's chest. "S-Sora…"

Sora smirked as his kisses reached Riku's waistband. His smile grew wider as he undid the belt slowly, watching Riku's anticipation grow. "Yes?" he asked, just to needle him.

Sora freed Riku from his pants and boxers, and his member sprung free of all restraints. Sora licked the tip and blew on it. Riku cried out, hips bucking into the air. "P-please…"

"If you insist…" Sora said before encasing the tip of Riku's in his mouth. He wrapped both hands around the lower part of his shaft, squeezing gently while he forcefully sucked at the tip. Riku moaned loudly as Sora's head bobbed lower, taking more of him into his tight mouth. When Sora's tongue ran over Riku's slit, he bucked uncontrollably in response. Sora pinned his hips down and continued to torment him, reaching out with one hand to gently fondle his tender sacs.

"_Sora!_" Riku moaned, one hand reaching down to entwine in Sora's hair. "S-Sora, I can't, I-I need…" he trailed off with a gasp as Sora continued his assault, bringing all of hiss member into his mouth and sucking hard before pulling off of him completely with a soft 'pop.' Riku's head fell back against the pillow in frustration; he was too weak to cry out.

"Told you I'd be mean," Sora said confidently before catching Riku's eye. Realizing his mistake too late, his eyes widened an instant before Riku had switched their positions, relieved Sora of his pants and boxers, and latched onto Sora's rock-hard member with renewed fervor.

"_Riku!__"_ Sora cried, unable to restrain himself at all as Riku sucked at him hard, playing with the sacs that lay underneath. Sora fisted his hands in Riku's hair, unable to do anything but hold on while Riku licked up and down his member, placing kisses on the vein underneath before sucking firmly on the tip. He hummed to himself while taking more of Sora into his mouth, squeezing the base almost as an afterthought.

"_RIKU!_" he cried as his eyes rolled back in pleasure; it was too much. In the next instant he climaxed into Riku's mouth, who swallowed as much as he could while prolonging Sora's pleasure. Sora finally collapsed back against the pillows, panting hard. Riku licked his lips and brought his forehead to rest against Sora's, smiling softly.

"You okay?" he asked in quiet concern. Sora smiled brightly.

"More than okay, he said between breaths, "Wow, Riku," he pushed out as he caught his breath.

Riku stroked Sora's cheek with one hand. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sora gave him a dry look. "I think we're a little bit beyond that point, Riku," Sora said sarcastically.

Riku gave him a serious look. "We can never be beyond that point, Sora, I will never force you to do anything," he said with concern in his eyes.

Sora smiled widely. "Well, it's a good thing you'll never have to force me to do anything," he finished, kissing Riku softly. "There's lotion in the dresser," Sora whispered.

Riku smiled before reaching over for the dresser to prepare himself for Sora's entrance. He moved to wet his fingers before Sora caught his hand and brought it to his lips. He licked each of Riku's fingers slowly and purposefully, sucking on the tips. Riku groaned softly.

"Sora…" he whispered.

Sora smiled widely. "Can't help it!"

Riku brought his hand to Sora's entrance and tentatively pushed against him, preparing him for the coming intrusion. Sora winced slightly; surprised, Riku looked up at him.

"I thought this wouldn't be that big of a problem, Mr. Vibrator," Riku said, teasing in order to distract him from his scissoring fingers.

"I…never actually put it…in," Sora explained in huffed breaths. "I didn't want to…spoil it…"

Riku hesitated, not wanting to hurt Sora. Sora felt his hesitation and brought him to his entrance. "I don't care if it hurts," he whispered softly.

Riku pushed himself partway in slowly before interlocking his hands with Sora's. "I'm sorry," he whispered before pushing into Sora completely. Sora gasped, shocked at how big Riku felt. Tears reached the corners of his eyes as he adjusted to the new sensations. Riku bit the inside of his lip in order to prevent himself from moving; _Not __until __Sora __says __something, _he thought.

After a few minutes, Sora tentatively moved his hips. Riku moaned, unable to control himself. Taking that as a signal to move, Riku began a slow steady pace which Sora matched. The more they moved, the better Sora felt, and soon the two were moving at a backbreaking pace, frantically thrusting against each other towards their release.

"S-Sora," Riku whispered, "I-I can't…"

Sora released Riku's hand and brought it to his member, stroking against him a couple times. It was all he needed to push him over the edge, and once Riku felt Sora's release begin, his own climax overtook him. The two cried out to the heavens as they felt truly as one being, never to be separated.

Riku soon collapsed onto a spent Sora, trying to catch his breath. Before he could squish him, he rolled off of Sora, pulling him tightly against his chest.

"I…Sora…wow…"

"Yeah…" Sora agreed, smiling.

"I love you, you know."

Sora smiled, placing a kiss on Riku's chest in front of him, "I know. I love you too, you know."

Riku placed a kiss on Sora's forehead. "I know. So…what should we do with the vibrator?"

"Scare the neighbors?"

"Sora!"

-((End!))-

I WROTE A LEMON I DID IT I DID IT!

You MUST let me know how it is!

Last one: Halloween!

_"Why not," Riku said, "After all, if you get hammered or something, I have to be here to make sure you don't slit your wrists or something."_

_Sora looked as if he had gotten the most brilliant idea in the world. "That's it Riku! That will make my birthday interesting!"_

_"…slitting your wrists?" Riku asked tentatively, reaching for a phone to call the Suicide Hotline._

_Sora laughed. "No silly, I wanna get wasted!"_

~freaky-hanyou


	100. Nervous: AkuRoku Lemon

I have a very very good reason as to why I haven't written anything in a while. I'm in Japan. XD If that isn't a good reason, what is? I'm here for study abroad; I really wanted to get this chapter written before I left in the beginning of the year, but I lost track of time.

So, on the bullet train to Tokyo (!) last week, I wrote this little number down in my notebook so there would definitely be something to post…

After all, it's not very often one hits 100 chapters, right? I've had this one in mind for a long time. SO without further ado, this is a **lemon…**

**What If…**

_Roxas had to get an undercover job at a spa…and Axel_

"_unfortunately" took advantage of the fact that Roxas_

_had to fulfill his every wish…_

_((as suggested a very long time ago by Zesty))_

"Do you have any questions, Number XIII?"

"No sir," Roxas said, rising from his seat across from the Superior. He started to leave the office, but stopped in the doorway.

"Do I really have to do this, Superior?"

"That would be a question, Number XIII."

Roxas nodded and left the office.

-((heehee))-

"Your next mission is _what?_" Demyx said, dropping his fork onto the table. The two were eating a quick lunch before their next mission in Atlantica. "Why?"

"I don't know; the Superior just likes to pick on me," Roxas replied. He felt bad about lying to Demyx, but the Superior forbade him from telling anyone the real reason he was given an undercover mission at a day spa of all places. There was a possibility there could be another keyblade user, and he was under strict orders to investigate the places she frequents—namely, this day spa.

"I don't believe it," Demyx continued, leaning back in his chair, "of all the places to be assigned, that has definitely got to be one of the strangest…what are you going to tell Axel?" Demyx asked hesitantly.

Roxas inwardly grimaced. There was an unspoken agreement between him and Axel that it was in their best interests to ignore the intense amounts of sexual tension between them. _It's simpler if we're just friends,_ he reminded himself silently.

"…The truth, of course," Roxas finally replied. "What reason do I have to hide the fact that I am going on an undercover mission as a masseur at a day spa?" He winced. It sounded so much worse when he said it aloud.

"Oh, I don't know," Demyx said noncommittally, "maybe because when you tell him it might cause him to go on a flamingly jealous rampage across the worlds?"

Roxas was not amused. "You know its better this way," he said succinctly. "There is no logical reason not to tell him."

"What are we telling whom?" said a voice from behind him. Roxas froze.

_Shit. That doesn't mean I want to tell him _now, Roxas thought forebodingly as he watched Axel sit in the seat beside him with a casual greeting.

"Roxas was just assigned on a new mission," Demyx said carefully, clearly trying to think of an excuse to leave the table.

"Oh?" Axel said, raising an eyebrow, "For you to be considering secrecy, it must be _scandalous!_ What is it, are you being sent off on one of Captain Jack's pirate ships?"

"Better," Demyx added, unable to resist making the situation worse.

Roxas glared at him with a 'shut-up-you-asshole' look. "It's really not that big of a deal," he start with, trying to downplay the situation.

"Go on," Axel said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

_Might as well just say it._ "I've been assigned an undercover mission as a masseur at a day spa." Axel froze mid-sandwich. Demyx waited for the jealous fireworks, both afraid and excited.

Axel casually, _too_ casually, put his sandwich down. "For how long?"

"Unknown," Roxas replied. Silence pervaded the table while Axel slowly took a long sip of his coffee. When he put down the cup, the contents inside were boiling.

"Well that's definitely a new one," Axel said lightly, "he must be running out of places to send us if he's resorting to commercial businesses," he said jokingly before changing the subject to weekend plans.

_That was…weird._ Roxas thought. _I thought his reaction would be a little more…explosive. I guess it really isn't a big deal to him. _Roxas could not decide if he was relieved or disappointed.

-((oh man))-

Demyx heard a loud explosion from the room next door.

"Something wrong?" Demyx asked as he let himself into Axel's room.

Axel glared at him. "You know what's wrong."

Demyx noticed the gaping hole in Axel's closet door. "The Superior isn't going to like that," he pointed out.

"I don't give a shit what the Superior likes and doesn't like," Axel said angrily, "I just—" he cut himself off, seething.

"All you have to do is say something," Demyx said gently.

"Roxas doesn't want me to," Axel said dejectedly, collapsing into his desk chair. "He likes things the way they are. Unspoken. Simple."

"Well," Demyx said, sitting down on Axel's bed, "if it's going to bother you this much, maybe you should change his mind."

"Roxas probably prefers me to drown in jealousy," Axel muttered bitterly.

"That's not true," Demyx said, "you never know unless you say something."

"It would be easier for me to become human."

-((the next day))-

Roxas slowly shut his bedroom door and walked down the hall. _This sucks,_ he thought, _what would make the Superior think I'd make a good masseur? _He was so lost in his pitying thoughts that he failed to notice he was about to run into someone until it was too late.

"Sorry," he said automatically when he collided with a solid chest. He was surprised when a pair of arms lingered momentarily on his waist, steadying him.

"No worries," Axel said, smiling brightly. "Are you going on your new mission?" he asked, his smile dimming slightly.

Roxas nodded, "I'm going to be late for my first day," he said before starting to walk down the hall.

"Rox—" Axel started, causing Roxas to pause in the middle of the hallway.

"Yeah?" he said, turning slightly in his direction.

"I…be careful, okay?" he said softly.

Roxas nodded before setting off down the hall. Axel set out in the other direction, angry with himself. _It's better if I don't say anything._

-((2 weeks later))-

Roxas sighed inwardly as he changed from his cloak into his uniform for work, a loose fitting V-neck and white trousers. _It's not even a mission anymore,_ he complained, _I should be getting paid for this shit._

He walked into his 'office' to see how many 'customers' he had that day. Surprisingly, he only had one for the entire afternoon. _Strange,_ he thought. He'd been unusually busy since he finished his orientation; apparently he was very skilled at his 'job.'

Celebrating the small break, he prepared his room for the one customer. He grimaced when he read that the customer paid for a full body massage. _It's too weird,_ he thought, _the sooner this os over, the better._

He heard his door open, and turned to welcome his guest. "Welco-_Axel?_"

"Hey," Axel said, holding up a hand in greeting.

Roxas was speechless as Axel entered his room. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Well this is a place where one can get a massage, isn't it? Work has been so stressful lately…" he winked.

It was impossible for Roxas to focus on one thought. "But…"

"Something wrong?" Axel asked, needling him. "Nervous?"

Roxas got a grip on himself and smiled his 'customer smile.' "If you would kindly change in this room," he gestured to a changing room on his left, "we can begin."

Axel smiled. "With pleasure," he murmured into Roxas' ear as he passed him on the way to the changing room.

-((aw yeah))-

Roxas tried not to pace while he waited for Axel to change—or rather, strip. _I know why he's doing this,_ Roxas thought, fiddling with his appointment book, _I know why, and I will not let him get to me. It's so much simpler to remain friends._

Roxas nearly dropped his book when Axel came out of the changing groom, a towel slung low on his hips. Roxas swallowed. _Friends,_ he told himself firmly as he gestured for Axel to lay face down on the table.

Axel grinned cheekily before lying down. "I'm not nervous," Roxas said, more to himself as he slowly began to rub Axel's shoulders.

Axel smiled softly to himself. _This is nice,_ he thought, ignoring the fact he paid for Roxas to touch him. He inhaled sharply when Roxas' hands went lower in order to massage Axel's back.

"Nervous?" Roxas asked, throwing Axel's question back at him.

Axel laughed softly. "Not a bit."

Roxas, meanwhile, was trying to pretend that Axel was simply another customer. It was quite difficult; normal customers didn't make appreciative noises from his ministrations. Before long, Roxas' mind began to wander, causing some stirrings down south…

Axel was in heaven. Roxas' hands were working their magic on all of his extremities…_all_ of them. "Hey Rox?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Yeah?" Roxas whispered.

"Can I turn over now?" he asked, "I think it would be more…comfortable," he said, shifting his hips slightly.

Roxas swallowed. "S-sure," he replied, and Axel rolled onto his back. Roxas looked surreptitiously at Axel's abdomen and below, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary…yet.

Axel was getting sick of this teasing. Before he changed his mind, he grasped Roxas' hand, which was massaging his shoulder, and brought it to his chest. Roxas froze; this was clearly not a part of his normal job description.

"Nervous?" Axel asked softly, holding Roxas' gaze. Roxas' cheeks pinked slightly.

"No," Roxas said casually as he began to rub slow circles on Axel's chest. _I won't lose this game,_ he thought, determined. _How far should I go? _He watched as his hands moved on their own, slowly working down to Axel's abdomen. _How far do I _want_ to go?_

Axel inhaled sharply as Roxas' hands rubbed small circles on his abdomen.

"Nervous?" Roxas asked, a new gleam in his eye.

"Never," Axel replied softly, closing his eyes.

"Good," Roxas said before stopping suddenly. Axel's eyes shot open as Roxas suddenly climbed up onto the table, straddling Axel's waist.

"Rox—" Axel was cut off when Roxas leaned forward and kissed him insistently. Axel's shock wore off quickly; he closed his eyes and placed his hands on Roxas' back, pulling him closer. Roxas broke apart quickly, staring at Axel uncertainly.

"This is okay, right?"

Axel gave him a deadpan look. "I'm not answering that question," he said, bringing Roxas down again for another kiss.

Roxas pulled away again. "Is this really alright though? Wouldn't it be easier if we just—" Axel silenced him with another kiss.

"I don't care what's easy or not anymore, Roxas; I care about you." He kissed him softly. "I care about the fact that you are touching other bodies before mine; I care about everything you do and want to be a part of everything." He reached down and cupped Roxas' rear. _"Everything,_" he whispered.

"As long as you're sure…" Roxas replied, the uncertainty fading from his eyes.

"I was waiting for you," Axel replied, "I didn't want to push you away because you weren't ready. But now…" he said, grinning, "we have the whole afternoon, don't we?"

"And all the time after that," Roxas said, winking before closing the distance between them again, entwining one of his hands in Axel's hair while the other resumed making circles on Axel's abdomen. Axel gasped when Roxas' hand suddenly went lower, tracing his member through the towel.

"Impatient, aren't we?" Axel replied breathily, breaking away from this kiss. Roxas was unrepentant.

"We've waited long enough, I think," Roxas decided before kissing a slow path down Axel's jaw and neck. "And you look good enough to eat…"

Axel dragged his nails up Roxas' back before entwining them in his hair as he continued moving lower. "So do you…"

Roxas grinned. "You're already undressed," he pointed out.

"No fair."

Roxas paused, sitting up to pull his shirt over his head. "Better?" he smirked.

"A little."

"So impatient," Roxas chided, before continuing to kiss and bite down Axel's chest and abdomen. "I'll have to teach you a lesson about patience…"

Without further ado, Roxas pulled the towel away from Axel's midsection and took his member into his mouth. Axel's hips bucked on reflex as he cried out in shock. "_Roxas_," he groaned, as said Nobody swirled his tongue around the head before taking as much as he could into his mouth. "What happened to…patience?" he gasped, re-entwining his hands in Roxas' hair.

Roxas pulled away for a half second. "Good things come to those who wait," he replied before resuming his ministrations.

"This seems…like a win-win s-situation," Axel forced out, trying to understand Roxas' logic.

Roxas raised an eyebrow and stopped again. "By patiently waiting to get in my pants, you are rewarded. Is that a problem?" Axel vigorously shook his head.

"Good, now that we're up to speed…" Roxas leaned down to continue, but was abruptly flipped onto his back on the table.

"My dear Roxy," Axel said huskily as he straddled Roxas, "whoever said I would comply with your little plan?" he asked, his eyes gleaming. "As sexy as these pants are…" Axel said, already unbuttoning them, "I'd much prefer you without them," he said as he pulled them off completely. He then slowly ran a finger over Roxas' boxer-clad member. Roxas' eyes widened as he searched for somewhere to put his hands; he settled for laying them flat on the table while Axel removed his boxers before gripping him firmly in his hand.

Roxas groaned, blushing heavily. Axel grinned. "Nervous?" he said, slowly moving his hand up and down while the other traced patterns on Roxas' inner thighs.

"H-hardly," Roxas ground out; Axel moved his hand faster, and Roxas reached up to bring Axel down for a kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance while Axel continued to tease Roxas mercilessly, alternatively moving his hand quickly and slowly.

"A-Axel…" Roxas moaned, frustrated. "S-stop b—"

"Stop?" Axel said, raising an eyebrow. Roxas almost shot off the table when Axel's hand started to leave him.

"_No!_ Stop being such a—" whatever he was going to say turned into a groan when Axel's mouth closed over him. Roxas, who was already in overload, didn't last long before his entire body tensed; his eyes rolled back as he groaned out Axel's name in orgasm.

Axel swallowed everything; he sat up and licked his lips, leering at Roxas below him. Roxas panted, sitting up on his elbows.

"A-Axel…" he gasped, reaching up to wrap his arms around Axel's shoulders, holding him tightly.

Axel's hands snaked around Roxas' waist, returning the embrace. "Nervous?" he whispered sincerely.

Roxas nodded an infinitesimal amount against Axel's neck.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," Axel said reassuringly as he laid them down on the table. He wet his fingers and tentatively brought them to Roxas' entrance, preparing him for the coming intrusion. Axel made soothing sounds, trying to get Roxas to calm down.

"Relax," he whispered, kissing him softly.

"I'm trying," Roxas replied. Axel kissed his neck as he pushed in slowly. Roxas' breath hitched, and Axel stopped to allow Roxas to get comfortable. Roxas raised his hips. "Keep going, it's fine," he said, his voice cracking.

Axel didn't want to draw out his pain, so he quickly pushed into Roxas completely. Roxas gasped at the new intrusion and sensations. Axel did his best to keep still, waiting for Roxas to give him the go ahead.

"You alright, Rox?" Axel said, tracing his thumb over the tears that unknowingly trailed down Roxas' cheek.

"Never better," he replied, tentatively moving his hips. Axel made an appreciate noise, unable to control himself. Roxas grinned. "You sound alright," he commented, winking.

Axel smirked. "I'm ready to work my magic when you are," he challenged.

"Do you worst," Roxas said, bringing his hips up again. Axel leaned down to kiss him again; the two soon fell into an easy rhythm, moving together with a seemingly practiced ease. Axel lowered a hand to stroke Roxas in time with his thrusts; Roxas moaned as he tried to keep pace with Axel's increasing speed.

Axel felt his release nearing. "R-Rox…" he groaned, before he was cut off by a kiss. Axel moaned into Roxas mouth, his release overtaking him. Roxas saw stars as the two climaxed together. They collapsed onto the table, panting.

After a moment, Axel rolled to the side of Roxas, gathering him against his chest. "Roxas…" he whispered, kissing his forehead.

Roxas smiled up at Axel. "I think this might be considered sexual harassment."

Axel chuckled. "I guess we'll have to wait until you're off the clock for round two?"

Roxas grinned. "I didn't say _that,_" he replied, before leaning up for a kiss.

-((End!))-

Excellent! I greatly enjoyed writing that; it's interesting for me to notice differences between Soriku and AkuRoku. I'm sorry this took so long!

I love reviews 3

Last one: Drunk!

_"Get away from me you asshole, you made me break my vow of chastity."_

~freaky-hanyou


	101. Birthday: Zemyx Lemon

Hey guys. I know that this has been a very long time in coming. Surprisingly, I've been working on it for quite a while. I normally like to write my stories in one go and not stunt creativity, but I have written this thing a little bit at a time _everywhere_ and all over Japan. Nagasaki, Osaka, you name it, all in my little notebook.

I am so ready for this. Haha. I am back in the States now, and I am planning on bringing this to life again by trying to get regular with updates. I hope.

At any rate, I want to thank everyone who took the time to leave me a review. I cherish each and every one, especially since they come so few and far between now a days. :/

On a happier side, if you haven't guessed, this will be another **LEMON**, so beware. Why not right? ;)

**What If...**

_Zexion wanted to talk to Axel about what to give_

_Demyx for his birthday, but Demyx saw them and_

_took it the wrong way?_

_((as suggested by the lovely BlueFox of the Moon))_

Zexion looked up from his research table in the library and sighed. Demyx had been staring at him almost nonstop for the past ten minutes, which even for him was more than usual.

"What do you want, Demyx?" Zexion asked, returning to his work.

Demyx seemed unperturbed that he was 'discovered' staring; instead, he smiled wider. "Nothing at all, Zexion, why do you ask?"

Zexion looked up again before rolling his eyes. "I know that look," he replied succinctly before looking yet again at his research.

Demyx furrowed his eyebrows. "What look?"

The 'I know something you know and you don't know that I know' look," Zexion replied without looking up.

Demyx blinked. "You're good."

"Naturally."

There were a few moments of silence before Zexion was again interrupted, this time by Demyx spinning his chair away from his desk.

"Demy-" Zexion angry interjection was interrupted by a long, slow kiss.

"So what is it that I know?" Demyx said, smirking.

Zexion took a moment for his brain to resume function. "Well, I know a lot of things that you don't," Zexion teased, trying to turn his chair back around. However, Demyx held the sides down, so it remained unmoving.

"Zexy!" Demyx pretended to scold, grin growing wider. "Stop teasing me; I just talked to Axel, and he told me that you were planning something _wonderful _for my birthday."

Zexion froze before quickly trying to recover so Demyx wouldn't notice. "That would be a secret then, and I have no obligation to tell you," he replied vaguely.

Demyx kissed him again before letting Zexion turn his chair around. "I guess I'll just have to wait and see then, won't I?" he said, winking before finally leaving Zexion to his work.

Zexion looked back down at his papers, not really seeing them properly. "Shit," he whispered.

-((uh oh))-

"What did you tell him?" Zexion accused Axel that evening, cornering him in the empty cafeteria after dinner.

"What are you talking about? I tell many people a variety of amusing things," Axel said jokingly.

Zexion made an exasperated noise. "Explain why Demyx came to me earlier ecstatic about something you told him I certainly did _not _tell you about his 'birthday' present. I don't even think it's right for us to _have _birthdays, let alone celebrate them!"

Axel rolled his eyes. "Is that all? You can't _not _get him a gift, you're his boyfriend aren't you?"

Zexion looked away. "I don't know the first thing about what to give someone for a birthday present!"

Axel put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Zexion, there's only one thing that Demyx wants for his birthday, I'm sure."

Zexion looked up. "What's that?"

"You."

"Well, he already has me, so that is not a very meaningful present."

"You misunderstand, when I say you, I mean sex."

Zexion sputtered before he sat down at the table. "That won't work."

"Why not?" Axel replied, seeing his expression, "birthday sex is special, even though it's the same as all the other sex really-"

"It won't work because we've never had sex Axel," Zexion replied, louder than he intended to. He blushed as he continued, "we've never had sex before, so I don't think..."

Axel laughed at his embarrassment, joining him at the table. "All the more reason for birthday sex then! There's no way he won't-"

"I can't Axel!" Zexion exclaimed loudly again. Blushing further, he whispered "I've never..."

Axel's eyes widened in understanding. "I'll help you."

"_What?_" Zexion said, rising from the table.

"Not like _that, _jeez," Axel said, standing as well, "I mean I can give you pointers and stuff. I'll leave all the practical application to you and Demyx."

Zexion hesitated. "...I guess."

"Great!" Axel said, leaving the cafeteria, "We will begin tomorrow at noon!"

Zexion sighed to himself as he also left the cafeteria. _What did I just sign myself up for?_

He turned the corner and nearly ran into Demyx. "Oh! Sorry Demyx," he said distractedly.

"No problem," Demyx said, noticing his expression. "You okay?"

"Never better," he replied before hastily going down the hallway, hiding his blush.

-((oh boy)-

Zexion purposely lingered after breakfast, avoiding Demyx's attempts to make eye contact. Zexion felt a pang of guilt as he watched Demyx slowly leave the cafeteria. As the room emptied, he looked up and met Axel's grin.

"You ready?" he asked, with an over-the-top wink.

Zexion grimaced. "I guess."

-((switch!))-

_That was weird,_ Demyx thought as he walked to his bedroom. He sighed. _I'm just acting crazy,_ he convinced himself, _It's not like he's avoiding me; he's just busy. _The argument sounded weak, even to himself. He tried another tactic. _It's not like he's got a hot date or anything. _He chuckled softly. He felt slightly better as he opened his bedroom door. Before he went inside, Axel's door opened and Roxas appeared, shutting the door behind him.

Demyx found it curious that Roxas was without his normal attachment. "Hey Roxas," he greeted, "where's the redhead?"

Roxas looked puzzled. "He said he had to go to the store with Zexion...didn't you know?"

Demyx hid his own puzzlement. "Oh yeah," he pretended. "I...forgot." Then he walked into his room, trying to ignore his seemingly unfounded sense of foreboding.

Or was it?

-((oh dear))-

"Welcome!" Axel said, holding his arms wide, "to Axel's Sex School!"

Zexion tried not to roll his eyes. "Axel, this is the condom section at Wal-Mart."

"Of course!" Axel continued grandly, earning a few stares from bystanders, "this is the most important part of any naughty adventure-"

"Axel, shut up! People are staring," Zexion said, face pinking.

"Let them stare," he said, winking. "There's no reason to be embarassed."

"I can think of one," Zexion muttered, "and it doesn't involve condoms."

"Now," Axel continued as if Zexion hadn't said anything, "I assume you know how to use a condom-"

"I'm not answering that, Axel."

"Good, but what I'm sure you don't know is that there are so many different kinds! Take a look at this one-" he said, picking up a pink package with a silhouetted couple on it.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Zexion grumbled as Axel began to explain in _great detail_ how these condoms could be fun in bed.

"Axel!" Zexion stopped him, face red as a tomato. "This is not the problem! I know about...condoms," he ended in a soft voice.

"Oh, good!" Axel said, stopping as if he was never talking about the wonders of strawberry flavored condoms. "Then tomorrow you can learn about the fun stuff!"

"Joy."

-((Later))-

That evening, Zexion and Demyx cuddled on Zexion's bed, watching television.

"So..." Demyx tried to begin casually, "What did you do today?"

"Nothing of import. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," he started, "Roxas said you and Axel went off somewhere, and I was...just curious," he finished lamely.

"Oh," Zexion said, pinking slightly. "We just needed...to go shopping...for a mission we have together."

"Oh," Demyx replied, noticing his blush but not commenting.

_I'm just being crazy,_ he thought, snuggling deeper into Zexion's arms.

-((next day))-

Demyx could not shake his feeling of uneasiness, especially when Zexion was avoiding his gaze yet again after dinner. He sighed, but then stopped himself as he left the cafeteria. _There's nothing wrong,_ he tried to convince himself before steeling his resolve and hiding behind a corner, watching the cafeteria door. _I'm being crazy,_ he thought as he watched Axel leave the cafeteria alone. His relief was shor-lived however, when he watched Zexion follow close behind him.

_I'm being crazy,_ he repeated half-heartedly as he watched Axel open a portal and the two walk inside.

_I...don't care if I'm being crazy,_ he thought before jumping into the portal just before it closed.

-((!))-

"Now where are we?" Zexion asked apprehensively as the two walked towards a seemingly innocent store.

Unnoticed, Demyx slipped out of the portal before it closed and hid in the alley near the direction the Nobodies were walking...

"Well, since tomorrow is Demyx's birthday, I figured we would skip straight to the good stuff," Axel said as he led Zexion closer to the store.

"Ambiance?" Zexion questioned once he was able to read the name of the store.

"The store for lovers!" Axel replied cheerily, leading Zexion to the door. "Roxas and I come here all the time..."

Demyx, who was certain he'd get caught if he moved any closer, read the name of the store from his place in the alley out of earshot. Once he realized what kind of store the two were approaching, he lost all train of thought. Mindlessly, he opened a portal and returned to the castle.

Meanwhile, when it dawned on Zexion just what kind of store this was exactly, he stopped in his tracks.

"I can't do this," he said suddenly.

"Of course you can!" Axel said encouragingly, "It seems scary but it's okay because you do it together!"

"Exactly," Zexion replied, "Together. I know you are only trying to help me Axel, and I really do appreciate it, but doing this without Demyx feels wrong."

"I understand," Axel said, smiling as he laid an encouraging arm over Zexion's shoulders. "You'll be great," he said, winking.

"Thanks," Zexion said, surprised at Axel's seriousness.

"May I make one suggestion though?" Axel said with a glint in his eye.

"What's that?" Zexion said, semi-apprehensively.

"Well..."

-((back at the ranch))-

Demyx lay on his bed in the dark, thinking. _What should I do? _he thought. _Should I say something? Pretend I don't know? What if-_

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. Demyx was suddenly hit by a wall of nerves. He decided he didn't want to open the door and rolled over.

The knock on his door came again. "Demyx?" came Zexion's voice. "Are you alright? I know you're in there, and you never fall asleep this early..." He knocked again.

_Just go away,_ Demyx pleaded internally, willing him to leave. He sighed in relief when the knocking seemed to stop.

A few seconds later he jumped a foot in the air when Zexion touched his shoulder to turn him over.

_He would use a portal,_ Demyx thought wryly. He looked away, not wanting to meet Zexion's gaze.

"Demyx, what's wrong?" Zexion asked dragging Demyx into a sitting position so he could sit next to him. Demyx still wouldn't look him in the eyes. "Are you alright?"

"You tell me," Demyx said cryptically, trying to release himself from Zexion's hold.

"Demyx, I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong, and it's your birthday at midnight and I want to-"

"Why were you going into a sex store with Axel?" Demyx asked quietly, voice cracking slightly.

Zexion blanched. "How did you-" he stopped, realizing that should not be his first reaction. "Demyx, that's-"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Demyx continued as if Zexion hadn't spoken. "Roxas told me you were heading out with Axel, and then you ignored me after dinner today, and I saw you with him, going to a sex store no less. Zexion, why-" Zexion put a finger to Demyx's lips.

"Listen to me," Zexion said calmly, reassuringly. "Everything's okay; this is all one big misunderstanding."

Demyx looked at him warily.

"I'm serious!" Zexion said, making a placating gesture, "Axel was just trying to help me with..." he broke off, blushing. Seeing the crushed look on Demyx's face, he hardened his resolve and continued.

"He was trying to help me with your birthday present," he said as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a bright red bow and sticking it on his head.

"Happy Birthday Demyx," Zexion said, blushing profusely.

"But...why would you go to a-oh," Demyx said, blushing as well, "_Ooh..."_

"I didn't go with him," Zexion continued, "it felt wrong to-"

Demyx silenced him with a kiss, pushing him down on the bed. "I understand," he said, grinning. "You were trying to surprise me."

"I see how well that worked out," Zexion said, blushing as he looked away from the man above him. "I'm really sorry Demyx, I would have told you but I...I was nervous, and I was hoping Axel could give me a few pointers...hell, I'm still nervous."

"You think I'm _not _nervous?" Demyx said, pinking again.

"I realized my mistake," Zexion continued, "its okay to be nervous because we will figure everything out together. That's why I couldn't bring myself to let Axel help me any further."

"How else did he 'help' you?" Demyx asked, curious.

"Nothing much," Zexion said, blushing more, "just a trip to the too-much-information department at Wal-Mart."

"I see," Demyx said, trying not to laugh, "we have a lot to learn, don't we?"

"And there's no one else I'd rather be with," Zexion said, pushing on Demyx so he could sit up. He then took Demyx's hands in his own. "I love you Demyx."

Demyx entwined his fingers with Zexion's. "I love you too," he whispered.

"Should we wait until midnight, when it is actually your birthday?" Zexion asked.

Demyx grinned. "Hell with that," he said, smiling.

Zexion abruptly pushed him back on the bed, covering Demyx's body with his own.

"Good," he whispered against Demyx's lips. "I don't think I could have waited that long." He pressed his lips to Demyx's, kissing him fiercely. Demyx groaned into Zexion's mouth, enabling Zexion to slip his tongue into Demyx's mouth to battle for dominance. Demyx ran his fingers through Zexion's hair while slowly unzipping Zexion's jacket as far as he could reach. Zexion briefly pulled away long enough to rid himself of the offending clothing. Demyx waggled his eyebrows once he noticed Zexion was only wearing boxers underneath.

"A bit daring today, aren't we?" Demyx said, grinning.

Zexion blushed and tried to shut Demyx up with a kiss. Demyx pushed him back up. "Wait, wait…where's the bow?" At some point, Demyx's advances had knocked the bow off of Zexion's head. Once it was recovered from the blankets and rearranged on top of Zexion's head, Demyx smiled.

"Perfect," he said, bringing Zexion back down to him. "Where were we?"

"I think I have an idea." Zexion said before resuming his kiss. He ran his hands up and down Demyx's chest before tugging his zipper jacket down. Still kissing, Demyx removed his own jacket. Zexion pulled away briefly once he realized that Demyx too was only wearing boxers underneath. Zexion raised an eyebrow.

Demyx shrugged. "I was feeling frisky today."

Zexion felt a pang of pure want. "H-how often to you feel _frisky,_ exactly?"

Demyx smirked. "I think you'll find out soon," he said, pulling Zexion down again. Zexion kissed Demyx hard before beginning a trail of kisses down his jawline to his collarbone. Demyx gasped as Zexion twirled his tongue around Demyx's pulse point before continuing lower. Slowly, Zexion made his way down Demyx's chest. He placed a chaste kiss on a nipple, and Demyx gasped loudly. Intrigued, Zexion pulled a nipple between his teeth while pinching the other slightly. Demyx moaned aloud, entwining his hands in Zexion's hair. Zexion worried Demyx's nipples for a while before continuing his journey downward. Demyx shuddered as Zexion kissed his abdomen before tracing along the waistline of his boxers.

"Z-Zexion…"

Zexion grinned. "Have to start somewhere, right?" He then pulled Demyx's boxers down, freeing Demyx from his confines. Seeing him completely aroused and bare to his gaze, Zexion hesitated, nerves returning with a vengeance. Seeing his sudden nervousness, Demyx smiled reassuringly.

"Zexion," he started, smiling, "you don't have to—_Oh…"_

Zexion grinned at Demyx as he wrapped both hands around him, pulling up and down slowly. Demyx moaned, encouraging him to increase his pressure slightly. Gaining confidence, Zexion brought one hand to cup Demyx's tender sacs underneath.

"_Zexion,"_ Demyx groaned, fisting his hands in the sheets. Growing bolder, Zexion slowly brought his lips to Demyx and kissed his tip. Demyx shot up in the bed before Zexion pushed him back down. Slowly, Zexion took his tip into his mouth.

"Zexion_nngh,_" Demyx absentmindedly wove a hand into Zexion's hair, stroking along as Zexion slowly took more into his mouth. He closed his lips firmly before sliding up and kissing him on the tip again.

"Z-Zexy," Demyx started, trying to make an intelligible sentence come out of his mouth, "th-this is…I don't think I…_Mmm,"_ he mumbled, squirming.

Zexion pulled up briefly. "Don't think," he said before redoubling his efforts. Demyx's eyes widened as all too soon he released into Zexion's mouth with a long groan.

"Z-Zexion," he said after regaining his senses, pulling the Nobody up to eye level. "That was…Wow…"

"Thanks," Zexion said, blushing slightly, "I guess reading up on a subject really does help…I mean, I didn't read that much but it must have done _something—"_ Zexion's last word turned into a yelp as Demyx reached down and tweaked his member, smirking.

"Let's say we give you something to make noise for, hmmm?" he said, winking as he switched their positions. Demyx kissed Zexion deeply, immediately reaching for Zexion through his boxers. He used the friction to his advantage, rubbing up and down in much the same manner as Zexion. Zexion moaned into Demyx's mouth, bringing one hand to Demyx's back and the other to his hair.

Demyx continued his ministrations and was about to pull down Zexion's boxers when Zexion stopped him. Breathing hard, he explained "If we continue like this, we might not get to have sex tonight," he said, trying to catch his breath.

Demyx grinned sheepishly. "We should probably do that then," he said, switching their positions. Zexion pulled his boxers off and got himself ready, reaching to the nightstand for a condom and lotion.

Demyx blushed once he saw what Zexion was doing. "When did you plant that there?" he said mock accusingly.

Zexion smiled. "I had plenty of opportunities to slip a condom onto your nightstand, Demyx," he winked. His expression grew serious. "Here's the hard part…" he brought his hand to Demyx's entrance to prepare him for the coming intrusion.

"No pun intended?" Demyx said to distract himself from the new sensations.

"This is definitely going to hurt Demyx, are you sure you want to do this?" Zexion asked, bringing himself to Demyx's entrance.

"More than ever," he said smiling, reaching down to pull Zexion's member closer to himself. Zexion contained a groan as he slowly pushed inside Demyx, trying to control himself. Demyx tried to stay relaxed but he found it difficult; a tear slowly formed at the corner of his eye. Once he was completely inside, Zexion stopped moving, kissing the tear away.

"You okay?" Zexion said hoarsely.

Demyx breathed slowly. "Getting better," he said, wiggling slightly. Zexion moaned loudly. "I think you can move now," Demyx said, chuckling slightly. His laughter turned into a moan as Zexion started to move slowly, invoking many new sensations for both of them. Soon the two were moving together faster and faster, racing for completion.

"Demyx," Zexion groaned as he pushed against Demyx, "I d-don't think I can…" Wordlessly, he reached forward to pump Demyx in time with their thrusts. Demyx suddenly moaned his release, holding on to Zexion's shoulders. Zexion could last no longer and he joined Demyx, crying out his climax. The two pulled each other close, breathing hard.

As their breathing slowed down they looked into each other's eyes, smiling.

"We did it," Demyx said, smirking. "We did _it,_" he repeated, kissing Zexion on the lips.

Zexion looked over at the clock that read 12:01. "Happy Birthday," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Shall we go again?" Demyx asked, stroking Zexion's cheek.

"Only if you're not hurt," Zexion said, concern tingeing his voice.

Demyx smiled. "It's worth it," he said, kissing him again.

-((Meanwhile))-

Axel held a glass to the wall he shared with Demyx's room, listening for sounds. Hearing an appreciative moan, he looked over at Roxas who lay on the bed. "I heard it Roxy! They're doing it!"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You don't need the cup, Axel, I'm sure the whole castle can hear them."

Axel suddenly jumped onto Roxas, grinning. "Shall we give them a run for their money?" he said, winking.

Roxas rolled his eyes before pulling him down into a kiss.

-((End!))-

WOW I didn't realize how long that would be. _Awesome._ That was very fun. Please leave a review!

Last one: Abroad!

_"Why my dear Roxas!" he said, smiling cheerily. "This new keyblade has a chain that isn't hooked on quite tight! So I'm taking it back to my workshop to fix it up right!" He laughed merrily, shaking his belly._

~freaky-hanyou


	102. Exhaustion: Cleon Lemon

...I can't believe it's already August. -.-

...I'm just going to get on with it then ^^

**What If...**

_Cloud fell asleep every time Leon wanted attention?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Larxene-Number-XII))_

Leon looked up from his book at the sound of the bedroom door opening. He watched as Cloud dragged himself straight to the bed and flopped face first on top of it.

"Rough day?" Leon asked as he set his book on the nightstand.

"Understatement," Cloud murmured into the comforter.

"You let them work you too hard," Leon commented as he tried to pull Cloud up the bed, "tell them you need to go home at normal hours."

Cloud eventually sat up and scooted to lay down on his pillow. "Unfortunately, high-ranking government jobs don't allow such privileges." He closed his eyes.

"You can come work at my weapons shop," Leon offered yet again.

"Can you imagine me working under you?"

"I can definitely imagine you under me," Leon said, leering at him.

Cloud groaned. "_Leon,_" he complained, "I haven't been home since seven this morning."

"I know I know," Leon held up his hands in a placating gesture, "I want nothing more than for you to get some rest."

"Thanks," he said, reaching up to kiss Leon on the cheek. Leon turned his head and captured Cloud's lips with his, catching Cloud off-guard with a hard kiss. Cloud groaned loudly before pulling away.

"Leon," Cloud murmured, voice filled with want.

"Hmmm?" Leon replied, still close to Cloud's lips.

"If we do anything, there's no way I'll be conscious for it."

Leon smiled. "Don't worry," he said as he reached for the blankets, "it's time for bed."

Cloud closed his eyes and leaned back on the pillow. Just as quickly, he sat back up again. "Friday!"

"Friday?" Leon asked, raising an eyebrow. "Tomorrow's Wednesday. How tired are you?"

"No," Cloud continued, "I have off a part of Friday! You and I, we are going to have a magical evening." He leaned back against the pillow, winking.

"Sure Cloud," Leon said, having heard this same speech before. "We will see what Friday brings."

"I'm serious!" he protested, all the while still about to fall asleep.

"Okay Cloud," he said, finally situated under the covers. "You keep thinking tha-Cloud?" Leon looked closer. Cloud had fallen asleep fully clothed.

Leon sighed, smiling, as he scooted out from the covers to get Cloud properly into bed.

-((Friday!))-

Leon flipped the sign on his store from 'open' to 'closed.' After locking the door for the night, he started his walk to his and Cloud's apartment. Cloud's job was very secretive, dangerous, and demanding. Although the possibility of Cloud actually being home when he claimed he would was small, Leon could not help but allow himself a small ray of hope. He imagined opening the door of their apartment to a splendid dinner, cooked by Cloud wearing nothing but a smile. He grinned himself as he put his key in the lock-

and opened the door to the usual empty apartment. He sighed. _I don't know why I'm disappointed, _Leon thought to himself as he looked in the fridge for dinner, _it's not Cloud's fault his job sucks...he just happens to like it. _He made a face as he thought about the demand of Cloud's job.

_He'll be home soon._

-((some hours later))-

Leon looked up from his book as Cloud stumbled into the room. Cloud smiled, apologetic as he climbed onto the bed.

"Held up at work?" Leon asked, putting the book down.

Cloud nodded, leaning over to kiss Leon softly. "I'm sorry I've ruined our magical evening," he kissed him again. "I'd like to make it up to you..." he leaned in for another kiss, this one more lingering and full of promise.

Leon looked torn. "You're exhausted," he pointed out; however, he refused none of Cloud's ardent kisses.

"I'm fine," Cloud insisted, and Leon was not going to protest. Murmuring in pleasure, he leaned over and pushed Cloud into the bed, cupping his cheek with his hand. He let out all of his desire that had been patiently waiting to be unleashed. He pressed his hips into Cloud's and moaned in pleasure. Kissing Cloud again, he smiled.

"I missed this," Leon muttered, placing kisses on Cloud's jaw. When Cloud did not respond, Leon looked up. Cloud had fallen asleep.

Frustrated, Leon fell back onto his pillow.

-((oh dear))-

Leon closed up his store yet again. More than a week had passed, and the pattern continued. _There has to be a way around this, _Leon thought. _It's extra exhausting for Cloud because he isn't a night person. If he was, then we'd have no problem._

At that thought, Leon had an idea. _Maybe he doesn't have to be..._

-((fastforward))-

Early Monday morning, Cloud was roused from his sleep by a strange sensation. He couldn't put his finger on it, but for some reason he felt himself being drawn towards it. He opened his eyes and groaned softly as he saw Leon leaning over him, stoking his erection to life with his tongue.

"L-Leon...?" Cloud asked, his voice cracking from sleep and pleasure.

"Good morning," Leon said huskily, kissing the tip of Cloud's quickly growing erection.

"B-but...work?" he asked, thoughts quickly disappearing.

"Don't worry," Leon said, looking up. "It's early enough that you'll be on time. As for me...well, I know the boss." He smirked devilishly as he brought his lips down to Cloud's erection yet again. Cloud gripped the sheets as Leon encircled his manhood with his lips, sucking harshly. He brought his hands up to automatically fist in Leon's hair, stroking it in time to Leon's ministrations.

Leon was relentless in his efforts; he kissed down the length of him before replacing his lips with his hands. He pumped his shaft while he kissed up and down his inner thighs, soon returning to place more kisses along the base of Cloud's need.

Cloud was clearly out of practice. All too soon, he found his muscles tightening before he climaxed under Leon's attentive hands. He panted harshly, pulling Leon up level with him by his hair. Instead of saying anything, he frantically locked his lips with Leon's, moaning into his mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance as Cloud reached down to remove Leon's boxers. Thankfully, Leon had already seen to that.

"I'm ready," Cloud said throatily, pulling briefly away before moving in for another kiss.

Leon pulled back before he could reach him. "No you're not, I barely-"

"I _need you,_" Cloud replied, bringing Leon to his entrance without further ado. Leon was powerless to protest as Cloud thrust down, impaling himself onto Leon. Leon saw stars as Cloud gasped, gripping Leon's shoulders firmly as the two began their familiar dance. Leon knew this would be no marathon; he wasted no time in reaching forward to stroke Cloud in time with their thrusts. Soon, the two were crying out together, reaching their release. Leon then collapsed upon Cloud, breathless as he breathed harshly into Cloud's neck.

"Are you okay?" Leon asked Cloud, concerned about their roughness.

"Better than okay," Cloud said, running his hands up and down Leon's back. "That was...sensational." Leon grinned.

"Actually," Cloud continued, running his hands decidedly _lower _than Leon's back, "I haven't had a day off for quite some time..."

Leon grinned roguishly as he was rolled onto his back. "We better make the most of it then," he said, pulling Cloud down for a kiss.

-((The End!))-

Well, that's my version of a quickie I guess. I don't think I've ever written one so quickly before, but I have many ideas floating around and I figured I would get a Cleon into the little row of lemons before I continued.

I loved all of your reviews, please leave more!

Last one: How Vexen Stole Christmas!

_"She doesn't care," Riku replied slowly, "She even likes it. Great," he said, falling back on the bed, "Now we just have to worry about her rigging our rooms with cameras."_

~freaky-hanyou


	103. Innuendo: AkuRoku & Zemyx Lime

It is a very special day in the world of **What If,**dear readers.

…Well, yesterday was.

ANYWAY, on August 31, **2007**, I posted my very first What If to , never really thinking anyone would leave me any suggestions. Little did I know what a wonderful adventure I was about to begin. I have enjoyed every minute, and will continue to do so.

So, Happy _five year_ anniversary to **What If**! (I feel old)

And to at least another five more!

**What If…**

_Demyx and Roxas could only speak in innuendos…._

_((as suggested by the wonderful crave-the-rave and friend))_

_But could do nothing else?_

_((last part added by me on a stroke of dirty inspiration))_

"Well this is certainly an interesting group," Axel remarked dryly as he, Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion exited a portal into the marketplace in Agrabah.

"It's a research and action mission; this group makes perfect sense," Zexion replied immediately without turning to look in Axel's direction. Because he was looking around their starting location, Zexion failed to notice Axel mimicking his words. Roxas held back his laughter.

Demyx smacked him on the arm. "Come on, you guys! Be nice! This could be fun!"

Axel gave him a 'you're-joking-right' look. "A mission with Zexion? Come on Demyx, even you know that he has a conniption when even the _slightest_ thing doesn't go according to plan."

Demyx couldn't argue the point. "It's not that bad! Maybe this time it'll be different."

Immediately, the marketplace filled with countless Heartless.

"This is definitely different," Axel allowed before springing into action. Zexion looked flustered.

"This isn't right!" He said, reluctantly breaking out the lexicon for battle.

"Too bad Zexy," Axel mocked over his shoulder, spinning flames into several Pot Scorpions. "Sometimes things don't go according to plan."

Zexion huffed while absentmindedly vanquishing a pair of Bandits. "With careful planning, things can always go according to plan."

"You cannot plan when Heartless appear!"

"Actually—"

"Will you two _shut up!_" Roxas said suddenly, spinning away from his opponents to stare at Zexion and Axel. "There are Heartless! No one cares if any of it was according to pl-"

Axel's eyes widened as Roxas was cut off by a Wizard bombarding him with a dark green spell, causing him to double over in shock.

"Roxas!" Demyx, who was closest to him, cried out in alarm before coming to his defense. He wasn't fast enough with his attack, however, and the Wizard hit Demyx with the same spell before he was hit by Demyx's water blast and exploded.

Roxas, who had now straightened, help hold Demyx upright. Axel, who was slowly fighting over to their area, alerted Zexion to the trouble before calling out. "Roxas! Demyx! Are you alright?"

Roxas grinned slowly. "I'm more than alright, now that you're nearby," he smirked, almost languidly fighting off his attackers while looking at Axel. Axel stared at him, puzzled. At this moment, Zexion finally made his way over.

"Demyx! Are you hurt?"

Demyx made the same sly expression as Roxas. "I'm hurt alright," he said, and Zexion's eyes widened in alarm before he continued, "hurt that we aren't somewhere alone where we could—"

"_Demyx!_" Zexion said, blushing. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, but I've got a good idea as to what could get into _you—"_

"This is ridiculous," Zexion said, cutting him off and sending out a range attack to kill most of the nearby Heartless.

"They obviously need some medical attention," Axel said, equally as concerned.

Roxas winked. "The only attention I need is some good old fashioned—"

Axel let out a wall of flames that effectively finished off the remaining Heartless.

"Let's get them to Vexen."

-((laughter))-

"Well there's nothing physically wrong with them that I can determine," Vexen began.

"I have something physically wrong that involves a redhead and my bedroom—" Roxas started before Axel put a hand over his mouth.

"You mean you can't fix it?" Axel said, concern lacing his tone.

"Not now…soon, maybe. I have to determine the type of spell that caused this…this…"

"Blatant innuendo," Zexion supplied dryly.

"Yes. Once I have determined that, I will concoct a solution and notify you immediately. Until then…" he looked at Demyx and Roxas, who seemed to be permanently affixed with 'bedroom eyes.' "Good luck."

-((Zexion and Demyx!))-

Zexion sat at his desk, trying in vain to write out the day's mission report. Every so often he would look over at his bed to Demyx, who kept leering at him while he was working.

"Don't you have something you need to do?" Zexion asked, trying once again to write the same sentence for the third time.

"Oh I have something I need to do…" Demyx started, "or should I say…some_one._"

Zexion stood abruptly from his desk. "Demyx I need to finish my work. I really need you to go to your room until I finish this, and then we can work on your…_condition._"

Demyx stood and stepped closer to Zexion. "But my condition is most _severe—"_ Zexion made a noise of frustration before he grabbed Demyx and pulled him in for a harsh kiss. Just as he was about to wrap his arms completely around Demyx, he was forcefully pushed back into the opposite wall.

Zexion righted himself, shocked. "What just happened?"

Demyx just looked confused. "I don't know…one minute I felt…normal and the next you were against the wall…which is right where I want you," the innuendo seemed added almost as an afterthought.

Zexion slowly approached Demyx before reaching out to touch his cheek. His hand was held back by an unseen force.

"…This will not do. Come, Demyx."

"Gladly."

-((Axel and Roxas))-

Axel collapsed on the bed as soon as the two returned to his bedroom.

"Well." He said from his prone position on the bed as Roxas leered down at him. "You are certainly in a good mood, being under a spell and all," he cleared his throat. _What do I do with a Roxas that's under a spell?_

Roxas just continued to stare at him. Axel fidget a little, sitting up. "Really Roxas, what should I do with you?"

Roxas smiled. "Oh I can think of several things you can do with me," he approached the bed, slowly laying on top of Axel. "Let me show you some examples…" However, as soon as Roxas moved to unzip Axel's jacket, he froze.

"Roxas?" Axel questioned.

"I…I can't move," Roxas said seriously. "It's like I'm not allowed to touch you…"

"Nonsense," Axel said, sitting the both of them up. "I can touch you, see—" he moved in for a kiss before he was thrown back into the headboard.

"Whoa, what's going on?"

"I can think of several things I would _like_ to have going on—"

Axel ignored him. "We need to see Vexen again."

-((To Vexen!))-

Axel and Roxas arrived in Vexen's laboratory after Zexion and Demyx, who greeted them once they entered. "As I was saying," Vexen continued, "I discovered the source spell for the problem."

Axel and Zexion looked hopeful.

"Unfortunately, there is no potion that will cure this particular malady."

"How do we fix it?" Axel asked, concerned.

"_I_ can fix it," Roxas said before Axel shushed him.

"Sex." Vexen replied succinctly.

"That doesn't work!" Zexion and Axel said, almost in unison. "There's almost a…barrier keeping me from touching him," Zexion supplied.

"And Roxas froze before he could touch me," Axel added.

"Interesting side effects," Vexen muttered, writing in his notebook about this new spell. "But I'm afraid the only way is to have intercourse."

"But…how?" Axel asked. "There's an impenetrable shield of innuendos!"

"There is one thing that pierces any innuendo," Vexen started.

The two raised an eyebrow.

"Dirty talk. It's blunt enough that it just might work."

Axel grinned, Zexion blushed.

-((the next day))-

"That was an easy fix!" Axel said, grinning from ear to ear the next morning after breakfast. "How about you Zexion?" he asked, seeing the Cloaked Schemer leaving the cafeteria.

"…I'm working on it," he said evasively.

"I've got something for you to work on," Demyx said, winking at Zexion before walking ahead. Zexion groaned. Axel's jaw dropped.

"Zexion, you haven't broken the spell yet? What's up?"

"Demyx and I do a lot of things," Zexion said, blushing slightly, "but dirty talk is usually not one of them."

"It's easy!" Axel said, guiding Zexion down the hall towards Demyx's bedroom. "All you have to do is say what you want to happen," he said winking before knocking on Demyx's door and stepping quickly into his bedroom.

Zexion shifted from foot to foot as the door opened. "Zexy!" Demyx said smiling, letting him in. "What's up?"

_Just say what I want to happen…_Zexion repeated, steeling himself. "I want to kiss you."

Demyx's lips parted slightly and Zexion moved in, softly bringing his lips to Demyx's. When he was not repelled into the now closed door, Zexion smiled. _Hmmm…maybe this will work after all,_ he thought happily.

"I want to move to the bed," he murmured against Demyx's lips, pushing him backwards towards the bed. His knees hit the bed, and he fell back with Zexion on top of him.

"What do you want me to do, Demyx?" Zexion whispered into Demyx's ear.

"Touch me," Demyx whispered brokenly.

"Where?" Zexion asked. _I'm starting to like this._

"_Everywhere,"_ Demyx replied, and Zexion grinned before slowly removing Demyx's jacket.

"Here?" Zexion asked, hovering over Demyx's chest. Demyx nodded, and Zexion leaned down and placed butterfly kisses all over Demyx's chest, softly licking Demyx's nipples before blowing cool air on them. Demyx shuddered.

"I want to…touch you too," Demyx whispered, starting to remove Zexion's jacket. Zexion helped him along, and soon the two were rolling on his bed, clad in nothing but boxers and sheets.

"Z-Zexion…" Demyx shuddered as Zexion's lips ghosted over the waistline of Demyx's boxers.

"Hmmm?" Zexion said without looking up from his task of slowly removing Demyx's boxers. "What do you want next, Demyx?"

"K-kiss me," Demyx whispered, and Zexion rose up to kiss Demyx on the lips. "No! I mean…kiss me…down there," he whispered again, blushing.

"Here?" Zexion asked, kissing his hip.

"Lower…"

"Here?" Zexion asked, kissing Demyx's inner thigh. Demyx jumped.

"Zexion!" Demyx almost shouted, "please put your lips _there!_" he moaned the last word out as Zexion slowly encircled the head of Demyx' member in his lips.

"Hmmm?" Zexion hummed in a voice that Demyx could translate as _Here?_ Demyx moaned and put his hands in Zexion's hair, willing him to go further.

"Please Zexion…make me yours…."

Zexion gave one last hard suck before pulling away, grinning wolfishly.

"Your wish is my command…"

-((meanwhile))-

"Axel!" Roxas exclaimed over yet another loud moan that came from the room next door, "what did you _tell_ him?"

"The secret of our success!" Axel said, bringing Roxas into a close embrace. "And I daresay it sounds like it's working _famously…_"

-((The End!))-

Hmmm. I don't know how to feel about that one. It was better in the end, but the middle was…I don't know….

Leave me love!

Last one: Kairi

_Roxas sighed loudly as he entered Marluxia's room. "What do you want for it Marluxia?"_

_"Now Roxas, I wasn't aware I was selling sexual favors today…"_

~freaky-hanyou


	104. Video Games: Soriku Lemon

Hey guys. Here's the part where I tell you how busy life is blee, you get it, you're all just as busy.

I DO want to take this moment to thank **Gryphon icefire 98 **for being the only person to review the past two chapters; I _really_ appreciate it. Like, reallllly. Also, your recent what if sounds fun, but unfortunately I don't really…know…a lot about that particular area of KH-verse yet. I'm working on it though :)

Anyway, this idea has been percolating for a while, and I took a bit of license with the original what if but it's fun! I promise!

Oh and also a **Lemon.** Be warned. ;p

**What If…**

_All of the Organization members ((including or not Sora and Riku))_

_Made a vow to not have sex for a month?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Tayberry))_

_((In this case the author uses Sora and Riku))_

Everyone has a weakness.

For some it's chocolate; for others it's sports. In Riku's case, it's video games.

Much to Sora's dismay.

-((!))-

"Riiikuuu," Sora complained from Riku's bed as he watched Riku play yet another level on his video game. "Aren't you done yet? This is getting boring…"

"Almost, Sora," Riku said without looking at him.

Sora sighed. "You said that forty-five minutes ago! I'm serious, Riku, this is getting ridiculous. You play all the time almost everyday."

Riku made a noncommittal noise. "Not all the time…"

Sora continued as if Riku hadn't spoken. "Besides," he said quietly, "whenever you start playing, it's like I'm…invisible or something."

Riku made another non-commital noise. Sora made a frustrated sound.

"That's it, Riku. Stop now, or…or suffer the consequences!" he said dramatically, improvising. However, Riku didn't react; he still really wasn't listening.

Sora flopped back onto the bed, lost in thought. _Hmmm…what could I really do to get him to notice? Or even give a shit?_ He looked up at the ceiling, thinking.

Suddenly, he shot up from the bed, sitting up. "I've got it!" he exclaimed.

Riku was engaged in a boss battle, and didn't react much.

"No sex. If you don't put the game down, shit, if you don't simply turn and _look at me_ in the next five seconds, no sex for a month," Sora explained, proud of himself.

"Five," he started confidently, expecting Riku to immediately shut off the game and start apologizing.

"Four," he continued, sounding slightly less sure.

"Three…"_ Maybe he didn't hear me, and I should repeat it?_

"Two…" _No, that's sort of the point, isn't it…_

"One," Sora whispered. Nothing happened.

Sora stood from the bed and left the room. Riku didn't notice.

-((on hour later))-

Riku finally shut off his game and stretched. "I'm sorry, Sora, that took a while, I—" he stopped, noticing the empty room.

"When did he-?" he thought back, trying to remember. "Shit, I don't know," he muttered, standing to head to Sora's house.

-((Riku you dick))-

"Hey Sora," Riku said as he entered Sora's room, "I'm sorry that took so long. Why don't I buy you d-" Riku cut himself off as soon as he noticed Sora's expression.

"So you finally noticed I left?" Sora said, putting down his book. "Only an hour later too; I'm flattered."

Riku winced and immediately went to sit next to Sora on the bed, taking his hands in his own. "I'm sorry, Sora, really," he said sincerely, "sometimes I get really carried away and don't know when to stop…"

"Sometimes," Sora muttered dryly.

"Okay quite often. It's a bad habit that I have to break, and I'm sorry I ignored you," he said, scooting closer. "Let me buy you dinner, okay? It doesn't fix it, but it's a start."

Sora considered it. "I am hungry," he allowed.

Riku smiled in relief. "Excellent," he said, leaning in for a brief kiss. Wanting the security, Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's neck, holding him there. Riku pulled back slightly, grinning.

"It was food you were hungry for, right?" he leaned in closer, whispering in Sora's ear. "Or something else?"

Sora shivered. "I thought food, but this is better." He sighed in pleasure as Riku returned his lips to his own, slowly lowering Sora back on the bed. He absently wrapped his hands in Riku's hair, sighing contentedly as Riku brought his hands down to trace invisible patterns on Sora's chest.

However, his sigh quickly turned into one of disappointment, and he pushed Riku up so he could speak. "Wait, I forgot. No sex for a month."

"_**What?**_" Riku exclaimed, shocked enough to allow Sora to push him off and sit up.

"Punishment," Sora replied. "Before I left, I said _If you don't put the game down, shit, if you don't simply turn and look at me in the next five seconds, no sex for a month_. And you didn't even bat an eyelash," he said, stiffening as he remembered.

Riku blanched. "I refuse to believe that I missed that." He took in Sora's hardened expression, and felt a wave of self-loathing. "…or perhaps I did."

Unexpectedly, he pulled Sora into a tight embrace.

"I'm really, _really_ sorry Sora," he said, gripping him tightly. "I accept your punishment as my consequence." He pulled away, grinning roguishly. "I just hope I don't die in the attempt."

Sora smiled. "You'll be fine. It'll be fun!"

-((2 weeks later))-

_This is most definitely __**not**__ fun,_ Riku thought to himself as he sat with Sora around his coffee table, playing Scrabble. _Maybe this was a bad thing to agree to,_ he mused, arranging his letters for his turn, _although I really deserved it…I just really want to—_he lost his train of thought when he found his word.

"Perfect," he murmured, putting his word on the board.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Fuck," Riku proclaimed loudly as he put his word on the table. "At least my points are seeing some action."

Sora laughed. "It's not that bad," he said, reaching for the paper to write down the score.

Riku stared at him blankly. "I disagree." Suddenly, he stood from the couch, looming over Sora from the other side of the table, with his hands on either side of the board. "If I told you I have learned my lesson, can I have you right now?" he asked huskily.

"…Triple word score," Sora said, blushing and looking away as he wrote down Riku's points.

Riku flopped back down on the couch, defeated. "At least my points got to score," he muttered.

"And that will be the only thing that scores for a while," Sora said cheerfully, happy his plan was working.

Riku pouted.

-((one week later))-

"I love fall!" Sora exclaimed as he raked the leaves in his front yard into a pile.

"You only like it because you can jump in the leaf piles," Riku said dryly. Sora ignored his surliness. His mood had only worsened as the mandatory abstinence policy continued.

"What's wrong with that?" Sora said smiling, finally finished raking and ready for the fun to begin. He stepped a good distance away from the pile before running full on at it and flouncing into the pile, leaves going all over.

Riku approached the pile, peering into it with his hands in his jacket pockets. "Having fun?"

Sora looked up at Riku, smiling wide. "Definitely." His smile grew even bigger as he observed the smirking man above him. He let his eyes wander down Riku's blue and grey jacket to his tight fitting jeans. Overcome with how sexy his boyfriend was, he abruptly reached up to pull him into the leaf pile.

"Hey!" Riku protested before Sora closed his mouth over his for a lingering kiss. "I love you," Sora said suddenly as he pulled away.

Riku smiled. "I know," he said cheekily, rolling on top of Sora, pinning him to the leaves. Sora smacked his chest. Riku chuckled. "I love you too, dummy," Riku said, leaning down to kiss him again. Suddenly, Sora reached up and pulled Riku down to him again, kissing him urgently. Riku gleefully accepted the opportunity and snaked an arm around Sora's waist, the other tucking itself under Sora's jacket to rest on his hip. Sora tangled his hands in Riku's hair, enjoying the feeling and closeness. Smiling against Riku's lips, Sora pulled back, eyes twinkling.

"I believe we have a little over a week right?" he said, pulling his arms back to pillow behind his head.

Riku groaned, rolling off of him into the leaves.

-((that night))-

_Riku dove for cover behind an abandoned tank as bullets rained over him; he reached up to briefly fire a few rounds at his enemy, but to no avail. _

"_They've got us surrounded!" a faceless comrade exclaimed, leaping up to fire back before being wounded in the shoulder. _

_As 'Game Over' appeared over his comrade, Riku turned to find better cover. Noticing a shack not too far away, he ran for it, jumping over objects and fallen players before throwing the door open-_

_Suddenly, Riku was no longer on the playing field, he was back in his bedroom. Every available surface was covered with candles, except the bed, which was adorned with-_

"_Sora," Riku groaned brokenly, approaching the figure posturing on his bed wearing nothing but a smile. _

"_I've missed you, Riku," Sora said, reaching out his arms for him._

_Riku knelt in front of Sora on the bed, who quickly made short work of Riku's fatigues before kissing a trail down Riku's chest. Riku moaned as Sora's fingers encircled his member, pulling softly on the tip. _

_Riku moved to stroke Sora's hair, when suddenly he heard a shot from behind, and 'Game Over' flashed before him._

"Gah!" Riku said, sitting up in his bed, completely drenched in sweat. As reality came crashing down upon him, he realized he was dreaming. And he was alone, in bed.

Riku groaned in frustration, throwing himself back on the pillow. "I'm never playing that damn video game again," he muttered, trying to fall back asleep.

-((a week and some days later))-

Riku returned home from his part time job slightly after midnight. He was utterly exhausted; he had not been sleeping much. He trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, collapsing onto his bed on his back. He was surprised when a familiar brown-haired figure quickly followed, landing neatly on his chest and kissing him senseless.

"It's been a month," Sora said against his lips, running his hands down Riku's chest to fumble with Riku's belt.

Riku groaned, pushing at the bottom of Sora's shirt. "Believe me, I know," he murmured, pausing in their kisses to rid Sora of his shirt.

Sora paused before returning to him. "Have you learned your lesson?" he asked seriously.

Riku sat up and gathered Sora in his arms. "You are more important to me than any video game will ever be."

Sora smiled brilliantly. "I'm glad," he said, kissing Riku on the cheek before whispering in his ear, "Now fuck me so hard the sheets catch on fire."

Riku grinned. "With pleasure," he said, waggling his eyebrows and pushing Sora down onto the sheets. He smiled widely at the vision laid out before him before leaning down to kiss Sora again. He slowly trailed his kisses down Sora's jaw to his collarbone, before stopping to pay extra attention to his nipples. Sora gasped, giving up on continuing his work on Riku's belt; instead, he silently demanded that Riku rid himself of his shirt. Riku complied before returning himself to Sora's chest, kissing patterns around Sora's abdomen.

"Mmm," Sora moaned, running his hands up and down Riku's chest before renewing his effort on Riku's belt. Riku soon moved out of his reach as he kissed down further, unbuttoning Sora's shorts and ridding him of them as well as his boxers. Riku grinned, making eye contact with Sora before encircling the tip with his mouth. Sora cried out, inadvertently lifting his hips from the bed. Sora cried out again when Riku released him, blowing puffs of air on the tip.

"R-Riku…" Sora huffed, "S-stop…"

"Stop?" Riku said, leaning up slightly. Sora all put threw himself at him, pulling Riku back down again.

"No! S-Stop that, I meant…"

"Oh. Well then," Riku said, moving back up Sora's body. Sora glared at him.

"You know what I meant," Sora said, panting.

"So?" Riku said deviously, "Who says I have to do what you want?"

Sora's eyes narrowed. "That's it," he said, suddenly pushing Riku off of him and flipping them over before Riku could blink. Riku lay mesmerized as Sora crawled over him, making short work of his pants and boxers, eyeing him like he was Christmas dinner.

"You aren't the only one who suffered this month," Sora whispered in Riku's ear, nibbling on it slightly. Riku inhaled sharply as Sora trailed from his ear to his lips, kissing him harshly, biting down slightly on his bottom lip. Riku gasped and Sora took the initiative, moving his tongue in an intricate dance with Riku's. Riku's hands ventured lower, squeezing Sora's rear. Sora inadvertently thrust into Riku's groin; Riku moaned, pushing Sora's hips into his own again.

"No fair," Sora moaned, letting Riku pull his hips down again and again.

Riku grit his teeth before stopping abruptly, kissing Sora harshly. Sora moaned again, letting Riku take control. Riku reversed their positions, gripping Sora's manhood with one hand while tweaking a nipple.

"R-Riku!" Sora said, twisting on the bed. Not to be outdone, Sora reached out for Riku, stroking his tip softly.

"Fuck me, Riku…" Sora whispered. Riku let out a moan before reaching out to get the lotion in his nightstand. Sora intercepted his hand and took his fingers into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around them before sucking lightly.

"_Sora,"_ Riku exclaimed, taking back his hand.

"That should work," Sora said with a wink.

Riku chuckled huskily as he brought his hand to Sora's entrance. As he prepared him for his intrusion, he continued to stroke Sora's manhood, distracting him. Deciding he was ready, Riku aligned himself at Sora's entrance, panting.

"Sora, this is probably….I mean, we went a whole month…so…"

"I said fuck me Riku," Sora said, lifting his hips, trying to get Riku to move forward.

Riku groaned before burying himself inside Sora completely in one fluid motion. Sora cried out, shocked at the surprising pain. Riku stilled, kissing Sora lovingly. The pain quickly subsided, and Sora lifted his hips. Riku broke the kiss, abruptly, panting.

"Sora…" he said, already moving his hips at a speedy pace, "this…probably won't be very long," he panted, stroking Sora along with his thrusts.

"Get on with it," Sora said breathily, cupping Riku's cheek. "I love you…"

"I love you too," he said, reaching down to kiss him just as he could take no more. He released himself into Sora, and shortly thereafter Sora cried out in Riku's mouth, signaling his release. The two lie tangled in each other's arms, panting.

"Riku…" Sora sighed happily, shifting so the two lie comfortably in each other's embrace.

"I swear to you I will never _ever_ play too many video games again," Riku reiterated, stroking Sora's hair.

Sora smiled. "It's good to know I have that effect on you," he said, sighing contentedly in Riku's embrace.

"All that and more," Riku said, kissing Sora on the cheek before moving to nibble on his ear. Sora giggled. "Already?"

"We have a month to make up for, you thought we were going to sleep?" Riku said seriously.

"Silly me," Sora laughed before capturing Riku's lips in another kiss.

-((End!))-

Oooo, I liked that one. Maybe there is something to me writing manually the first part and doing the _fun_ part on the computer…It worked for Birthday, and methinks it did for this too!

Please review, I cherish them all.

Thanks for reading!

Last One: Another New Form! (When I reread that quote, I loled)

_"You don't have the monopoly on shyness," Kairi said, smirking. "Now, can I kiss you or do I have to save it for the stage?"_


	105. Chocolate: Zemyx Lemon

YAY! You guys are so awesome. Every SINGLE one of my reviews (both from old friends and new) made me smile. Thanks guys, I really really appreciate it. Really.

I also wrote my own idea, called **Why the Sun Sets Red,** if you wanna check it out as well!

Now from the moment this suggestion came in, I definitely wanted to do my best for it. So here's me, hoping I don't screw it up.

And that it doesn't turn out to be a PWP. But, what can I say? This one pretty much just screams it lol. (So yeah it's another **Lemon**)

AND a verrry happy birthday to Zesty :)

**What If…**

_Zexion had a secret obsession with chocolate and Demyx found out?_

_((as suggested by the lovely AverageGoddess))_

"Hey Zexy, I have a question about my report, could you-Zexy?" Demyx said as he entered Zexion's room without bothering to knock. The Cloaked Schemer was at his desk working, as usual, but what gave Demyx pause was that as he was entering the room, he saw Zexion hurriedly minimize a computer window….

Like he was up to something.

Zexion turned to Demyx as if nothing had occurred. "Yes, Demyx?"

Demyx shook himself and continued. "I have a question about this section…" As he was showing Zexion the paper, he surreptitiously looked at Zexion's screen. Nothing was amiss. _I guess I'm just being crazy again…_ he thought, reassured as he left the room.

-((a week later))-

_I'm so excited! I can't believe Zexion and I finally get to go on a mission together!_ Demyx thought to himself, practically skipping down the hall. Zexion's missions were primarily research-based, so few opportunities presented themselves for Zexion and Demyx to be paired together.

Demyx was so excited he didn't even bother to knock, barging into Zexion's room without further ado. "Ready to go, Zexy~?" he asked, happiness coming to a halt as he _definitely_ noticed Zexion hurriedly minimizing a window on his computer screen before turning around and standing to approach Demyx like nothing was wrong.

"What was that?" Demyx asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Nothing," Zexion said dismissively, opening a portal. "Shall we?" he asked, starting for the entrance.

Demyx's eyebrows lowered in confusion. "But if it was nothing, why did you—"

"It was nothing Demyx," Zexion replied in a tone that effectively closed the topic before entering the portal. Demyx glanced over at the computer screen, puzzled, before following Zexion into the portal.

-((mysterious))-

Demyx lay cuddled close to Zexion, wide awake. All through today's mission he could not stop thinking about Zexion and his mysterious computer screen.

_Damned if I can't sleep, either…maybe if I just took a peek,_ he thought, debating whether or not he should look at Zexion's computer. _It won't hurt right? What if he's sending someone sexy messages and doesn't want me to know? _he thought, concerned. _ I better check,_ he started to sneak out of the bed to get to Zexion's computer. However, he stopped halfway, torn.

_Then again, if there is nothing wrong, Zexion will be really mad at me, and it is a big invasion of privacy…_He started to tuck himself back into bed, when visions of Zexion meeting someone else over the internet and leaving him leapt to the forefront of his mind.

Demyx pulled himself the rest of the way out of bed and opened the laptop. Luckily, Zexion never locked the screen, and the desktop appeared. He clicked the open tabs; nothing was out of the ordinary. Spreadsheets, Word documents, fanfiction…

_Fanfiction? _Demyx thought, looking at the browser closely.

"InuYasha approached the bed with the chocolate sauce, smirking as he—_oh my,_" Demyx murmured to himself, reading onward as his blush significantly darkened.

As Demyx continued to read, he found himself becoming _very_ interested in the story. _But why would Zexion read that? _Demyx pondered as he slowly snuck back into bed. _Am I not dirty enough? We do all sorts of things. Could it be…_

_The chocolate?_

-((::dirty smile::))-

Demyx made sure to knock this time before entering Zexion's bedroom, clearly nervous. Zexion raised an eyebrow as Demyx entered and sat on his bed, fidgeting nervously.

"Something wrong, Demyx?" Zexion asked, pleasantly confused.

"…Please don't hate me," Demyx blurted out, unable to hold in his thoughts. "Yesterday I was worried that you might be interested in someone on the Internet so I looked at your computer and I read your fanfiction and-"

"You _what_?" Zexion exclaimed, once Demyx got to the important part of his ramblings. "Demyx, I can't believe you would—"

"I was scared!" Demyx shouted, effectively silencing Zexion. "You were being so sneaky about it, and you wouldn't answer me when I asked you about it. I was scared you were…growing disinterested in me."

Zexion got up from the computer chair to sit next to Demyx. Wrapping an arm over his shoulder, he said gently, "Demyx, I would never get disinterested in you. It's just…" Zexion murmured something so softly that Demyx couldn't hear him.

"What?" Demyx prompted.

"…I didn't think you'd want to…" he trailed off again, embarrassed.

"What, the chocolate?" Demyx said, grinning as Zexion blushed. "Zexion, we've gone to Port Royal and done some pretty unspeakable things, but you think I'd get squeamish over some chocolate?"

Zexion was quiet for a moment. "I didn't think of it that way."

"Don't be afraid to talk to me about these things, okay?" Demyx said, unzipping his jacket and reaching for something in an inside pocket. Pulling out a bottle of chocolate sauce, he grinned, "Because you'll never know if I'm interested or not." Handing the bottle to Zexion, his eyes turned devilish as he said "That fanfiction, by the way, was _really_ good," he winked and took his jacket the rest of the way off, now clad in nothing but his boxers.

Zexion stared at the chocolate in his hand for a moment before turning back to Demyx. "I don't deserve you," he blurted suddenly, before reaching over to pull Demyx into a fierce kiss. Demyx groaned as Zexion wasted no time laying him down on the bed, unzipping his own jacket after setting the chocolate sauce next to Demyx. Finally removing it, he took the chocolate and squeezed a little from the bottle into his mouth before leaning down to kiss Demyx. Demyx smirked as the chocolate sauce hit his lips before opening them, reaching his tongue into Zexion's mouth to enhance the flavor. Zexion pulled back, grinning. Seeing Demyx's face, he laughed aloud.

"You have a chocolate mouth," he pointed out before leaning forward to lick the chocolate from Demyx's lips. Demyx smirked after Zexion pulled away, noticing a small dot of chocolate on Zexion's cheek. He leaned forward, licking it off.

"Look who's talking," Demyx said winking.

Grinning, Zexion pushed Demyx back on the bed before reaching for the chocolate sauce again. He poured a large dollop onto Demyx's abdomen before setting down the bottle and leaning forward to spread it around using his tongue. Demyx moaned, reaching forward to wrap a hand in Zexion's hair and grip his shoulder. Zexion continued to spread the chocolate, licking up and down Demyx's abdomen. Demyx cried out when Zexion dipped his tongue into his belly button to get the chocolate gathered there, almost as an afterthought.

Demyx pulled Zexion up to him, panting harshly. After catching his breath slightly, he kissed him harshly before switching their positions.

"Let me try," he said, reaching for the chocolate sauce. Demyx poured some of the chocolate into his mouth before making a trail of kisses down Zexion's chest before returning to lap up the chocolate trail he left behind. Smirking at Zexion's groan, he continued kissing downward, slowly removing Zexion's boxers. He then poured more chocolate into his mouth, and, winking, brought his mouth to Zexion's member. Zexion nearly shot off the bed as Demyx worked his mouth over him before licking up and down the sides, cleaning off the chocolate.

"_Demyx,_" Zexion moaned, panting harshly as he pulled Demyx up and flipped them over. "You're overdressed," he pointed out before removing Demyx's boxers.

"Would you like me to try that?" Zexion said before leaning down to kiss the excess chocolate off Demyx's lips, absentmindedly running his hand up and down Demyx's member.

Demyx groaned against Zexion's lips, panting. "Z-Zexion, I can't wait any longer…" he said breathily, pulling Zexion down to him before reaching between them to align Zexion with his entrance.

"But you're not ready-" Zexion protested before he was cut off with a kiss.

"It's okay, I don't care," Demyx said, smirking. "I made _you_ ready myself, so I'm not too concerned."

Zexion moaned as he surged forward, enveloping himself in Demyx's warmth. The two groaned aloud as they started to move, slowly increasing their speed. Shuddering, Zexion brought his hand down to stroke Demyx in time with their movement. Demyx moaned, bringing Zexion down for a kiss as he cried out in climax, causing Zexion to follow soon after. Zexion collapsed on top of Demyx, and the two lay in bed in a pile of tangled limbs, panting, and sticky from chocolate.

After the two caught their breath, Zexion looked at Demyx, who was grinning broadly.

"That was fun!" Demyx said, smiling. "Any more ideas we can try you've been hiding?"

Zexion moaned. "Oh, Demyx, there are several…."

-((End!))-

Muahaha. That wasn't half bad, if I do say so myself. Please leave me reviews! It was so wonderful hearing from every one of you!

HAHA guys I just noticed something. The beginning of last chapter:

_Everyone has a weakness._

_For some **it's chocolate**; for others it's sports. In Riku's case, it's video games._

I didn't do that on purpose! ::laughter::

Last one: Grease!

_Demyx grinned. "That's better. Now why don't we add a more…mature chapter to this book of yours…?"_

_Zexion chuckled. "It'll make it a bestseller I'm sure," he said, and closed the gap between them._

~freaky-hanyou


	106. Water: Zemyx

Hi. 3 I'm gonna keep this short, thank you for reviews :) I've noticed a pattern when I update, a lot of review, then not so many, and vice versa. Let's see if this holds ;p

Unfortunately, I don't think this is going to be very fluffy…the premise made me think of a very dramatic plotline…you'll see!

**What If…**

_Demyx was afraid of the water?_

_((as suggested by the ever-creative Kigichi))_

"_Burn, baby!"_

"_Give me strength!"_

"_See my illusion!"_

-((!))-

Zexion was worried. Lately Demyx had been spending more and more time holed up at the pool, practicing. Whenever Zexion would ask him about it, Demyx would just reply that he was training before closing up on the subject.

Zexion became lost in his thoughts as he walked towards the pool to get Demyx for dinner. _Why is he training so hard? Did someone complain? Has he been having problems? He hasn't told me about any difficulties with missions…_

His thoughts derailed as he came upon Demyx, who appeared to be floating above the water in the pool. Looking closely, Zexion realized he was not floating, just moving almost in sync with the water below him. Sitar in hand, he appeared to be sparring with his water clones with other clones. So absorbed in his work, he didn't notice Zexion enter the room. Not wanting to startle him when he was so focused, he slowly started to back out of the room.

_I give him a lot of credit,_ Zexion mused, inching toward the door,_ his moves are very fluid and his fighting style…he was good before, but wow…_

Just as Zexion leaned on the door to open it Demyx twisted in the air, panting, before he spread his arms wide and with one hand, played a new chord on his instrument that Zexion had never heard before-

"_Dance water dance!"_

And the water in the pool started to rise, forming the most intricate and deadly patterns that Zexion had ever seen, rushing and intertwining almost as if it was solid-

And the notes built to an even more complicated crescendo, and Zexion froze, spellbound, as he watched his new finishing move-

And then the notes seemed to crash, and the water was falling all around, and Demyx stumbled in the air, his sitar falling—

The world seemed to move in slow motion; Zexion watched in horror as Demyx's element worked against him, pulling Demyx under as if it was a living thing, keeping him underneath the water. Without thinking, Zexion jumped into the pool, looking for Demyx. Luckily, Demyx was nearby, and he reached for him, grabbing a hold of his cloak. Seeing Demyx's sitar, he grabbed it too, almost as an afterthought before kicking off of the bottom off the pool, barely making it to the surface. Although his swimming skills were rudimentary at best (without his water wingies), Zexion pulled Demyx from the roiling water, laying him on the side of the pool. After a few terrifying moments of nothing, Demyx began coughing abruptly, sitting up sharply.

"Z-Zexion?" Demyx asked between coughing fits, "what—" he broke off, still coughing.

Zexion rubbed his back soothingly, "Shhh. Get your breath; we're going to the infirmary."

-((Flash Forward))-

Zexion sat next to Demyx's hospital bed, watching Demyx over his interlaced fingertips. Despite what Zexion witnessed, Demyx was not being very forthcoming with information.

"I know what I saw, Demyx," he continued, protesting, "that attack was definitely new—"

"I was just practicing!" Demyx continued, "it wasn't a big deal—"

"You looked like it was a big deal," Zexion countered, "And it was _definitely_ a big deal when the entire pool moved. It was…I can't even think of how to describe it, Demyx! That attack was—"

"Clearly too much for me," Demyx finished hollowly. "It wasn't a big deal because I'm too weak to pull it off," he muttered.

"Too weak to—what?" Zexion said, mind working overtime as pieces started falling into place. "What makes you think you're weak?"

Demyx wouldn't look at him. "I don't have to _think_ I'm weak Zexy, because I _am._ I'm the weakest link in the Organization—"

"That's not true—"

"Last in almost all sparring matches, my reports are mediocre at best, and even if I don't _need_ a partner for a mission, I usually get assigned one just in case." He finally locked eyes with Zexion. "Tell me that doesn't describe a weak link."

Zexion mentally had to agree that statistically, the facts pointed to that. Nevertheless… "Demyx, you can't think that way! Your skill with water is—"

"Not enough!" Demyx exclaimed. "When I look at Axel, and Roxas, and _you,_ I just see a level of ability that I can't hope to attain." He sighed, looking at himself in the hospital bed. "Clearly."

Zexion took his hand. "You sell yourself short. Just wait, when you're better, and go out on your next mission, you'll see how good you are. That attack…was incredible."

He reached forward, cupping Demyx's cheek with his other hand. "_You're_ incredible. I just want you to see that," he said, kissing him softly before standing.

"I'll come back after my mission," he said, before leaving Demyx alone with his thoughts.

-((A few days later))-

After being given a few days to recuperate, Demyx was given his next mission assignment: Agrabah. Not only was it a highly Heartless-prone area, Demyx was given this assignment as a solo mission.

_No doubt that's Zexion's influence on the Superior,_ Demyx thought glumly, summoning a portal. _He has too much faith in me._

Stepping out of the portal, Demyx was met with a Marketplace full of Heartless.

"And so it begins," he said, trying to gear himself up for the long battle to come. Summoning his sitar for the first time since the incident, he struck an opening chord, summoning a few water clones. However, immediately after he struck the chord, he noticed something wasn't right.

_Those notes didn't sound normal,_ he thought, looking down at his sitar. _How is this out of tune?_ He sighed. Whenever his sitar went out of tune, the water clones acted half-hearted at best. At worst, they just stood around, unmoving. Skilled musician that he was, he quickly turned the tuning knobs, easily adjusting to the appropriate tone very quickly. He played the opening chord again, only to his surprise, the note sounded the same. Moreover, the water clones weren't looking at him lazily. They seemed almost—angry.

"What the—" he said, ducking a Shadow attack only to come face to face with one of his own clones, who promptly launched one of his own attacks at him. Stunned, he spun out of the way only find three more, equally angry. Two of them grabbed his shoulders and the third pulled his arm back, punching Demyx in the stomach. With the wind knocked out of him, the clones got a few more good hits in before Demyx had the wits to spin away, evading his watery selves. Seeing nothing but Heartless and angry clones, with no way to attack, he had no choice but to summon a portal.

-((Zexy's Room))-

Zexion looked up from his laptop at the unexpected intruder to his bedroom via a portal. _The only person allowed to do that is Demyx, _Zexion thought, turning,_ but that's impossible, he's in Agrabah-_

And there was Demyx, panting, collapsed on his floor. Zexion leapt up, approaching him.

Before he could even say anything, Demyx ground out. "Heartless…overrun, hurry," he said, urging Zexion to the portal.

Zexion was torn. He should stay with Demyx, but the assignment—

"_Go!_" Demyx shouted, answering his dilemma for him.

-((some time later))-

After making short work of the Heartless (and the many thereafter that followed), Zexion returned to his room for an explanation. He found Demyx seated on his bed, sitar in hand, in the middle of tuning it. He looked up when Zexion returned, his expression guarded.

"Is the situation under control?" he asked emotionlessly.

Zexion nodded. "Good," Demyx said, looking back down at his instrument.

After a few moments of silence, Zexion had to ask. "Demyx, what—"

"I don't know what happened," Demyx whispered suddenly, gripping his sitar tightly. "I arrived and the Marketplace was already covered in Heartless like usual, but when I summoned my clones they…they attacked me," he continued.

Zexion didn't know what to say, but Demyx kept going. "At first I thought the sitar was out of tune, but when that happens, the clones just act lazy. Today, they were acting angry. At me. They didn't even glance at the enemy, and there was nothing I could do to stop them from coming at me besides stop playing music and get out of there."

Zexion absorbed that information. "Is there anything wrong with the sitar?" he asked, indicating the instrument in Demyx's lap.

"Nothing," he said, "perfectly in tune and perfect working order. But when I try to play—" He played the opening note, summoning a single, very small water clone on his knee. The chord still sounded wrong to his ears, and instead of obeying him, the water clone kicked him with his little foot before Demyx put away his instrument, causing the tiny clone to disappear.

"It's like water doesn't want me anymore," Demyx whispered.

Zexion didn't know what to say. After a moment, he finally said "I think you need a break," before standing and putting a comforting hand on Demyx's shoulder. "Let me talk to the Superior."

-((a couple days later))-

Demyx was given a formal leave of absence until he solved the 'malfunction' with his element. However, he was making very slow progress (read:no progress at all), terrified of finding himself face to face with a clone army out of his control, ready to fight him. Demyx woke up in the middle of the night from that very nightmare, panting, before Zexion assured him it was a dream and settling back down. Still, he could not bring himself to face the water yet.

Unfortunately for Zexion, this meant that he had to get work done with Demyx in the room, which was nearly impossible.

"Hey Zexion." Zexion tried not to roll his eyes as he looked up from his paper for the tenth time that afternoon.

"Yes?" he said with fake interest to the Nobody lounging on his bed.

"How come you get assigned so many desk missions? You're a good fighter…" he mumbled at the end, trailing off.

Zexion tried not to strangle him. _I bet he's comparing himself to me again…_ "I'm good at what I do," he said simply, returning to his paper.

"But if you're good at both, shouldn't you spend equal time with both?"

This time, he didn't look up. "Demyx, I don't mind either way; I just do what I'm told."

"Doesn't it bother you?" Demyx pressed, "I know it would bother me if I only had to write papers all the time," he said with feigned nonchalance.

_So that's it,_ Zexion thought, _he's scared he's going to be permanently assigned to desk work._ Zexion looked up from his paper again, turning to Demyx. "The Superior assigns me so many papers because he knows I enjoy them," he said comfortingly, "but that doesn't mean I have to do them forever." He smiled softly, and Demyx nodded before Zexion returned to his paper.

There were a few minutes of blessed silence before—

"Hey Zexion."

"That's it," Zexion said, standing up, "we're going to the pool."

Demyx shot into a sitting position. "What? No! I—"

"No discussion, IX. We're going. Even if I have to wear the wingies." His eyes softened. "We'll get through this okay?" he said, holding out his hand to Demyx.

Demyx smiled before hesitantly taking it. "I trust you."

-((at the pool!))-

Demyx stared at the water from his place near the door, unmoving. Zexion put on his wingies and pulled him to the edge, sitting him down with his feet in the water. Sitting next to him, he smiled. "There's no reason to get in yet. Let's start slow." Demyx nodded, summoning his sitar.

"Play the simplest chord you know, even simpler than your usual opening," Zexion said encouragingly. Demyx mentally braced himself before playing a single string, summoning a small water clone in front of him. Instead of attacking him, the water clone stood there, unmoving.

"Now tell him to do something," Zexion continued, "nothing too fancy."

Demyx played a small chord, and the tiny water clone did a somersault before standing up, staring at Demyx again.

"See? Nothing to be afraid of," Zexion said, standing up before pulling Demyx up with him. "Now play the opening chord for him," he said. Demyx looked alarmed.

"But it doesn't—"

"These chords have sounded fine, right?" Zexion asked. Demyx nodded. "Then there's no reason why this next chord should be any different. You can do this Demyx. This is your element." He stood back, giving Demyx room to focus and work.

_I can do this,_ Demyx repeated uncertainly, readying his weapon. _There's no reason why I can't do this. _He braced himself, hands poised over the strings. _This is my element,_ he thought determinedly, before playing his opening chord, signaling the time for battle.

It sounded perfect. The tiny water clone responded immediately, preparing himself for foes. Demyx smiled at Zexion before playing an experimental line of music, causing the tiny clone to engage in a series of combos at an invisible foe.

"I can do it!" Demyx said excitedly, striking a power chord in his enthusiasm. The water clone grew to normal size and was accompanied by three others, all ready for attack. Demyx confidently played a series of chords, and the clones broke off into teams, sparring against each other. Demyx turned to Zexion, smiling widely, before returning his focus to the clones.

Zexion smiled as more clones appeared in the practice game. He took off his wings, content that Demyx did not need his help. _All he needed was some confidence,_ Zexion thought, throwing the water wings aside. _He's got this—_

No sooner than the wings were out of his reach, a mischievous water clone appeared behind him, pushing him in the pool. Zexion sputtered as he surfaced, only to be pulled down again by the smirking clone.

Demyx, who was now in the middle of the pool, noticed the commotion and started to panic. "No!" he exclaimed playing a chord of submission, but more water clones simply broke off from him to join their defecting brother. The notes Demyx played sounded wrong to his ears again, but he continued to play different chords, searching for the right one.

"S-Stop!" he said, continuing to play. Zexion continued to fight a losing battle against the clones, having less and less opportunities to breathe—

"_I said stop!"_ Demyx yelled, playing the powerful new chord from before. As he played his new sitar riff, the clones backed off immediately; the water appeared to solidify under Zexion as he was lifted from the water onto the side of the pool. Coughing, he sat up, watching as Demyx called all of the clones to him before they took a knee in front of him. Dismissing them with a final chord, he skated across the water to Zexion, panting.

He knelt next to him, dropping his sitar and taking his face in both hands. "Are you alright?"

Zexion nodded weakly. "Perhaps I need some more swimming lessons," he allowed. Demyx laughed, kissing him softly, grinning.

"You did it," Zexion pointed out. Demyx smiled wider.

"Thanks to your help and encouragement," he said, kissing him again. "Thank you Zexion." Zexion brought a hand up to stroke Demyx's hair.

"My help was minimal; although I am glad that you figured everything out before I drowned," he said with dark humor.

Demyx lay Zexion back down, kissing him again. "Me too….I have full control of my element now," he said with a leer, summoning small shoots of water to his fingers. "What do you say we…_celebrate?_" he absentmindedly began unbuttoning Zexion's jacket.

Zexion grinned. "Sounds good to me," he whispered, pulling Demyx down to him, kissing him harshly as he switched their positions. Demyx closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations of Zexion's hands running up and down his chest. When he opened his eyes, he found that the two of them were lying on a beach, next to the water.

"As long as I can use my element too," Zexion said, grinning.

-((End!))-

Well that was something different. It was just not a funny prompt, which was perfectly okay. I really liked writing it!

Speaking of prompts, I know I have many in reserve, but I have only gotten a few suggestions lately (which are pretty awesome if I must say, and I'm working on them ;p) but I always love to see new ones!

Please review!

Last one: The Penname!

_Stepping closer to Zexion, he took his hand as he whispered, "So…Do you have any injuries that need…wrapping?"_

What a weird line XD

~freaky-hanyou


	107. The Return: AkuRoku

Why hello! I do feel bad that I haven't updated this in quite some time, but on the same time I haven't been idle either, so I have something to show for it! XD On that side note, if you feel so inclined please check out my new (and one of the longest on record) AkuRoku oneshot (lemon) called **That Noise** OR If you've seen the movie Rise of the Guardians, my new (multi-chaptered!) story **Of Soft Breezes and Wintry Nights** that I am most proud of.

So I've been productive, but now it's time to update my favorite :D

**Important:** This chapter is directly related to a certain character from _Chapter 60:Abroad_, so you might want to peek at that to refresh your memory…

**What If…**

_Shane returned?_

_((as suggested by the creative DearJamie))_

Roxas sighed, falling back onto his bed in pure dejection. _Damn him,_ he thought as he stared up at the ceiling, _If I didn't know better I'd say he left out of sheer revenge, but that's not true. _He sighed again, rolling fully onto his bed to curl into a ball. Earlier that day at breakfast, the Superior had announced an unexpected need for another two members of the Organization to go on a long term mission. Immediately. However, this time he _selected_ Axel and Marluxia, leaving no room for argument…

-((obvious flashbacking))-

"_Why did he have to choose you?" _Roxas said malevolently as he sat on Axel's bed, watching him hurriedly pack his backpack with essentials.

Axel flashed him a wry look. _"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rox,"_ he said, his voice guarded. _"It's not like I _volunteered_ or anything like some other Nobodies I know."_

Roxas winced. _"I'm sorry, alright? It's just…I've only been home for a few months, and this is so sudden…"_ He suddenly rolled onto his knees to pull Axel to the edge of the bed, locking him in a fierce embrace. _"I know you're more than capable Axel. I just wish you weren't so maybe the Superior would have chosen someone else," _he said softly.

Axel's gaze softened. _"I know," _he said, squeezing the smaller Nobody tightly. _"I guess that's my punishment for being one of the best in the Organization,"_ he said with a melodramatic sigh. Roxas smacked him. Axel smirked before sobering. _"Look on the bright side; this time it's only one year instead of two! And then you'll have my sexiness all to yourself…" _he tilted his head and placed a quick line of kisses down Roxas' neck.

A sharp knock on Axel's door startled the two. _"Come on VIII,"_ said a voice, _"let's get this show on the road!"_

Axel rolled his eyes. _"How's this for a bright side; you don't have to spend the next year alone with Marluxia." _

Roxas laughed and kissed his lips tenderly. _"If he comes back with a few burns, I'm sure no one will ask questions."_

Axel laughed and pulled Roxas off the bed, swinging his backpack on his shoulder and pulling the younger Nobody out the door with him.

-((end obvious flashback))-

_What am I going to do for a year?_ Roxas thought, still curled on the bed. _It was so much easier when I was the one leaving, when I was the one who had the important mission to accomplish…_

Roxas' dark line of thinking was interrupted by a knock on his door. "Roxas? You in there?"

Roxas bit back another sigh and moved to open the door. "Hey Demyx," he said with a small smile, letting the Melodious Nocturne into his room. "What's up?"

Demyx got right to the point. "Are you gonna be okay?" he asked, putting a hand on Roxas' shoulder in concern. "That was rather….sudden," he finished lamely.

Roxas sat back down on his bed, his head in his hands. "How did you do it, Demyx? Zexion and I were gone for _two_ years. They've only been gone twenty minutes, and I already feel like I can't take it anymore."

Demyx sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "I got through it one day at a time. One day closer to seeing him again," he said, "It's not very comforting, but the only way to get through it is to simply get through it." He squeezed Roxas' shoulders. "Think of it this way; you can spend a lot of time with Zexion and me! We'll have a lot of fun," he said with a smile.

Roxas tried not to make a face. "I don't know if that would work," he said slowly, trying not to offend Demyx. "Seeing you two…." he hesitated, "_together _might not be the best idea…"

Demyx nodded in understanding. "Still," he persisted, "that doesn't mean I'm going to let you waste away alone for a whole year!" He squeezed his shoulders one more time before he stood up. "I promised Axel that I would watch over you, and I always keep my promises." He winked at him, and stopped just before going out the door.

"It's gonna be fine, okay Roxas?" he said reassuringly, "speaking from experience."

Roxas nodded before Demyx walked out the door. _Maybe this won't be that bad._

-((the next day))-

_This sucks,_ Roxas said angrily as he kicked a pebble on the path in Twilight Town. He aimlessly walked the streets, ignoring anyone and everyone who dared to look at him. _Twilight Town Patrol totally sucks without Axel. Stupid Superior, stupid mission, stupid Axel…_ He continued his angry walking in aimless directions, until he accidentally found himself in front of the forest that led to the Old Mansion.

As if on cue, a horde of Heartless and Shadows ambushed him. Roxas rolled his eyes. "Wonderful," he spat out, summoning his weapon. "The perfect end to this shitty afternoon," he muttered to himself as he sprang into action. He worked almost automatically, spinning and ducking under attacks with a mechanical air. He slashed through the air, making short work of the Heartless that were nothing in comparison to his anger and frustration. He was so angry, however, that he failed to notice one lone Shadow sneaking behind him…

Roxas cried out as he felt a stab of pain in his right shoulder. Seeing red, he turned to his attacker, Keyblade flying through the air. The Shadow quickly leapt out of range, and Roxas dove at it, driving his weapon through the Heartless before he used his momentum and rolled. He landed on his back by the path, panting hard.

"You alright there?" a man nearby on the path jogged over to Roxas, hazel eyes full of concern.

Roxas stood up quickly, hiding a wince as he jostled his injured shoulder. "I'm fine," he said hastily, trying to diffuse the man's concern. _Shit, if he saw me fighting, I am so screwed…_

"Are you sure?" the man persisted. "I saw you take a nasty roll there…"

Roxas inwardly sighed in relief. _Good. He didn't see anything._ "Yeah…I fell," Roxas said lamely, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

The man raised a thin black eyebrow. "That was quite a fall," he continued, coming closer to look Roxas over. "Are you sure you're okay? I live nearby; I've got a full first aid kit…"

"No that's okay," Roxas backtracked, slowly stepping away from the man, "thank you though, er…" he realized he had no idea what the man's name was.

"I'm Shane," the man said, holding out a hand. Roxas automatically reached out to shake it, but winced when he moved his injured shoulder. Shane narrowed his eyes.

"I knew you hurt something," Shane continued, grabbing Roxas' extended hand to inspect his shoulder. "It looks like you might have dislocated it…"

"I'm sure it's just jammed is all," Roxas said, gently pulling his hand away. "Thank you for your concern, but I really must be getting home now." When Shane looked like he was going to protest, Roxas said, "I also live very close," he fibbed slightly, "I'll be home quite quickly and my…roommate will be able to fix me right up," he assured, only bending the truth so it sounded more real to the man.

Shane nodded, placated. "Well it was nice meeting you. Be careful!" He said before continuing on his walk.

Roxas stared after the man as he walked down the path as if nothing happened. _Strange man,_ Roxas concluded before stepping into the woods to summon a portal straight to the Castle.

-((a few months later))-

Roxas stared up at the ceiling above his bed, bored. Demyx had tried to get him to go to the park with him and Zexion, but he had refused, claiming a headache. For the 500th time that day, he cursed the Superior and the stupid mission that took his stupid Axel away from him.

_Hmmmmm….what to do…_he wondered, staring absently. _I don't really feel like _doing_ anything, so I might as well watch a movie or something…_He rolled over to look at his sad collection of movies. He sighed. _Axel is the avid movie watcher; not me…_ _I reaaaally don't want to go to his room,_ he resolved, getting to his feet. _I can just go rent one in Twilight Town; no harm done. _Roxas quickly summoned a portal and appeared in an alleyway near the movie store in Twilight Town. He walked in, scanning the titles. He decided to pick a cheery one, and he walked up to the counter to make his purchase. However, the man behind the counter looked slightly familiar…

"Hey!" The black haired man said as Roxas put his movie on the counter. "How's your shoulder?"

Roxas blinked. "Have we…met?"

"I'm Shane," the man explained, "I saw you on the edge of town a few months ago when you injured your shoulder. Are you feeling better?" Shane spoke as if they were already close friends; it unnerved Roxas slightly.

"Yes thank you," Roxas replied a little hesitantly as he gave his munny to him. "…You have a remarkable memory," unable to refrain from commenting on his uncanny ability to remember the most random events.

"I know," Shane agreed, "I get that a lot. I remember the most obscure people and facts. Really freaks out a lot of people," he explained with a wry quirk of his lips. He handed him his change with a smile. "I'm glad you're feeling better; try not to fall anymore, alright?"

Roxas nodded in thanks and left the store with his movie. _He's not bad,_ Roxas decided as he summoned another portal, _a little strange, but definitely not bad._

-((three weeks later))-

Over the next few weeks, Roxas found himself getting a couple movies a week and frequenting the movie store in Twilight Town. _I can see why Axel watched so many movies while I was gone,_ Roxas thought as he pulled another movie out of his DVD player. _It's a great way to spend a lot of hours. _Roxas even watched a couple movies with Demyx and Zexion, who insisted on teasing him and making him laugh the whole time, which considerably brightened up his day. Roxas also found that he enjoyed his brief conversations he had with Shane when he went to get and return his movies. Although he was a little bit quirky, the man was smart, humorous, and had great insights. Roxas decided he could be a very good friend.

As he approached the rental counter one afternoon, Roxas decided that he would tell Shane his conclusion. As Shane was ringing up his movie, Roxas blurted out "Would you like to go to lunch sometime?"

Shane raised an eyebrow. Roxas quickly realized how that sounded and hurriedly corrected himself. "I don't mean it like that; I have a boyfriend," he sputtered, "I mean I want to hang out with you outside of the store so I figured lunch would be a good option-"

"I understand," Shane said with a smile, "Lunch sounds great!" he said and clocked out for his lunch break. He grinned and led the way out of the store.

-((at lunch))-

"So tell me about your boyfriend," Shane said as the two sat a table in a coffee shop near the movie store. Roxas swallowed a bite of his sandwich and said "Well…he's tall with red hair and green eyes…he was pulled away on a business trip, and won't be back for another six months…" he said, trailing off.

Shane made a pitying sound. "That sounds harsh. Red hair though? I've always been a sucker for redheads," he continued, "about a year ago I met this one very tall, very thin redhead at work. I had such a huge crush on him," Shane said with a slight blush, "too much of one actually. He was in a relationship, and I kinda threw myself at him and he got really pissed at me…I still feel bad for doing that," he admitted.

"Well now you know who you have to be careful around," Roxas said, pretending to look around the coffee shop. "There aren't any redheads around right? I might have to restrain you."

Shane threw back his head in laughter. Roxas smirked, chuckling as he sipped his coffee.

-((more months))-

"So why haven't I met Shane?" Demyx asked, spinning in Roxas' computer chair. "Axel's coming home next month, and he'll kill me if I let you hang out with someone unsavory…"

Roxas snorted. "He isn't unsavory. He's a good friend, and he hasn't tried to come on to me once. He told me he likes redheads, so I'd prefer to keep Axel away from him actually," he supplied. "As to why you haven't met him, I just didn't want him to get suspicious about the Organization, what with all of us in creepy cloaks and stuff. He's really smart, and when he starts to realize that all of my friends wear the same clothing he'll get suspicious."

"But you don't even wear your cloak when you visit him anymore," Demyx argued, "I won't wear mine either! I want to meet him," Demyx said vehemently, "for the sake of your 'Roxy Honor' as Axel would put it."

Roxas rolled his eyes and sighed. "If you insist," he said with a melodramatic sigh. "We're gonna go watch the trains come in and out of the station; you are welcome to come with us."

Demyx smiled. "Sounds fun!"

-((Trains!))-

"Why is this fun?" Demyx asked as they sat on a bench by the train station, watching the trains come in and leave.

Shane smiled, watching the trains. "I don't really know actually," he admitted with a laugh, "I just always found the trains comforting, being so predictable and stable. I like watching them."

Demyx nodded, leaning back on the bench. "That makes sense," he said. "They have that sort of effect. Sea salt ice cream also weighs in their favor," he said, gesturing to the ice cream he held in his hand.

Shane laughed, eating his own ice cream. "That makes it even better," he said with a wink. "I'm glad to meet one of your friends Roxas," Shane said, looking to the shorter Nobody who sat between them, "I hope I get to meet more in the future?"

"Sure," Roxas said, distracted by his ice cream. "But I may have to beat you back with a hose when you meet Axel though…"

"Axel?" Shane said, sitting up slightly. "Who's that?"

"My tall, redheaded boyfriend that you'll probably be attracted to," Roxas said absently, finishing up his ice cream, "so you better not touch him or I'll have to kill you."

Shane paused for a moment, lost in thought. "Axel…" he muttered to himself before letting out a bark of laughter. Roxas raised an eyebrow, and Shane just shook his head. "I just realized something is all; nothing to worry about!"

Roxas narrowed his eyes. "Fine, crazy, keep your secrets. Just don't go laughing like that randomly in public too often, people will get suspicious…"

-((Here we go!))-

Roxas paced the floor in Axel's room, waiting for said Nobody to walk through the door. _Today's the day, _Roxas thought impatiently, _so why the hell isn't he here yet?_ He looked at the clock on the desk again, glaring at it. _He should be here by now, why—_

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening door. He broke into a huge smile as he saw the Flurry of Dancing flames walk through the doorway, a grin on his face. "I figured you'd be in here," Axel said as he dropped his bag to the floor, "if you weren't waiting at the front door this was really the only other-mmf!" Axel's monologue was cut off as Roxas leapt at him, wrapping his legs around his hips and harshly kissing his lips. Axel groaned, automatically bringing his arms under Roxas to hold him up as Roxas' momentum slammed them into the closed door. Roxas' hands were everywhere; wrapped in Axel's hair, unzipping his cloak, reaching under his shirt to stroke his chest. Axel could barely get his brain to process the command of 'walk to the bed;' he lay Roxas on his bed before laying over him, pulling back to breathe.

"I missed you too," Axel said sincerely, kissing his lips again. As Roxas moved to pull Axel down to him again, he resisted slightly. "As anxious as I am to let the fun begin, I am really curious about what you did all year," he said, although he was unable to prevent one of his hands from reaching up to unzip Roxas' jacket. "A whole year is a long time," he said, curious to hear what Roxas had done with himself in that time.

Despite his growing ardor (literally), Roxas tried his very best to think to answer Axel's question. "Well," he said, drawing out the 'well' as he drew patterns down Axel's back. "I hung out with Demyx and sometimes Zexion, I took a leaf out of your book and watched a lot of movies, and I made a new friend in Twilight Town and we hung out together sometimes." Proud of his answer, he moved to pull Axel's lips back down to his. Axel resisted, however.

"New friend?" he questioned, automatically wary of new friends made when others were out of town because of personal experience. "He didn't hit on you, did he? Because if he did, I'll—"

"He did nothing of the sort!" Roxas defended, "he's never hit on me once. Actually," he said with a grin, "I'll have to protect you from him since he told me he was into redheads…"

"Very interesting," Axel said, now back to focusing on the matter at hand. He leaned closer, lips ghosting over Roxas' as he said, "Well I'll be very pleased to make the acquaintance of this…this…what's his name?"

"Shane," Roxas said absently as he reached up to close the slight distance between them. However, at the mention of that name, Axel abruptly pulled away from Roxas, leaping off the bed and standing in the middle of the room.

"_Shane?"_ he said, incredulous. "As in, a Shane that lives in Twilight Town? Where did you meet him?" Axel pressed, the coincidence too uncanny.

"The movie store," Roxas supplied. "Well I saw him before that once, but really—"

Axel made a noise of amazement. "Does he have black hair? Hazel eyes?" Roxas nodded, confused as Axel's eyes turned to green steel.

"I'll kill him," Axel said, summoning a portal. Roxas shot up from the bed to grab Axel's arm, trying to pull him back to sit on the bed. He tried to calm him, saying "He didn't do anything, Axel! He's fine, Demyx even agreed—"

"_Demyx_ said this guy was okay?" Axel said, anger renewed. "When he promised to protect you? Dammit, this is—"

"_Axel!_" Roxas finally yelled, finally getting Axel to sit on the bed as he moved to stand over him. "What are you not telling me that is making you so angry?"

"…He's the guy that kissed me when you were gone for those two years," Axel finally said, deflated. "He practically did nothing but hit on me, so I thought-"

"You thought wrong," Roxas said, sitting next to him and taking his hand. "I'm safe because I'm not a tall sexy redhead," he continued, bumping his shoulder with Axel's. His brows furrowed in thought. "Actually, I think he inadvertently mentioned you once. He said that he had a huge crush on you, and felt really bad that he practically threw himself at you…"

Axel snorted. "Serves him right." He noticed Roxas glaring at him. "What? He kissed me! He tried to _top_ me—"

"I know," Roxas said, squeezing his hand. "I'm just saying….maybe you could give him another chance?"

Axel's eyes narrowed. "I'll think about it. Now," he said, turning to Roxas with a leer. "Where were we…?"

Roxas smiled and opened his arms, meeting Axel's lips in a fiery kiss.

-((the next day))-

Roxas dragged Axel to the front of the train station, where Shane was sitting by himself, reading the newspaper and watching the trains come in and out of the station. When he saw Roxas, he started to smile, but seeing an angry looking Axel next to him, his smile disappeared. He stood and set down his newspaper.

"I knew it was you," Shane said as the two came up to him.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "You knew?"

Shane nodded. "As soon as he mentioned your name I figured it out."

Axel nodded. "Then you'll understand why I want to tell you to leave Roxas the fuck alone," Axel said. Roxas stepped on his foot.

"I understand why you hate me, and I want to apologize," Shane said, looking away. "I was totally out of line, and I always regretted coming onto you like that." He held out a hand. "Friends?"

Axel stared at his hand. Roxas stepped on his foot again. He tentatively shook it, saying, "I guess I can try."

Shane smiled. "Good. You can start by joining me on this bench and watching the trains." Axel raised an eyebrow, turning to look at Roxas as the two sat on the bench.

"Trains?"

Roxas shrugged. "It's a thing. Like the clock tower," he explained.

"Ah."

At this, Shane raised an eyebrow. "Clock tower?"

"That's our thing," Axel explained, "We'll have to take you up there sometime."

Shane smiled, opening his newspaper. "Sounds great."

-((The End!))-

Ta da! A long one! Not very sexy, but things were still happening. I like how I could talk more about Shane; I always felt bad for painting him out to be an asshole.

Anyway, let me know what you think! I have a couple ideas for some chapters, but I really need more!

R&R!

Last one: DDR! Chapter 10, wow I had no idea that one either…

_"You want me to…regularly…buy you your…KY?" Riku asked._

~freaky-hanyou


	108. Disney: Soriku Citrus

OH MY GOSH HI. So if you are on my alerts you have noticed that I have been a little occupied elsewhere than the realm of Kingdom Hearts, and I technically still am...but you know what makes one feel better? Looking through old (or not very old) reviews. And What If reviews are laced with story ideas, and well, I saw a recent one and I was kind of bitch-slapped with inspiration.

I seriously cannot continue my other story (which, if you've seen Rise of the Guardians, you should take a peek ;) ) or even go to _sleep _until I write this. I usually let my ideas simmer in my head a bit so they come out correctly, _but I simply cannot resist._

So...Surprise! And if any of you have seen Friends before, you may or may not figure out this one XD

::ahem::

**What If...**

_Sora and Riku got stuck on a Disney ride?_

_((as suggested by the awesomely chill SuperFreakeh))_

"I don't know about this, Sora..." Riku protested half-heartedly as he was dragged through the Magic Kingdom by the hand.

"Oh come on, Riku!" Sora replied without breaking his stride, "It's my favorite ride! And besides, the park is barely open, so there won't be hardly anyone in line and we can get through it quickly!"

Riku found that logic hard to argue with. However, he couldn't suppress a shudder as he looked up at the marquee for the ride the couple now stood in front of:

_~It's a Small World~_

"Why is this your favorite ride again?" Riku asked as he allowed himself to be pulled through the empty queue line.

Sora slowed his pace and intertwined his fingers with Riku's as he thought about the question. "You know, I'm not really sure," he admitted as the two continued through the queue, "I guess I love the cultural unity that the ride has promoted for decades."

Riku blinked. "Wow, Sora, I never thought that you would love a ride for such inspiring reasons-"

"And I just really love the song," Sora finished with a wink. Riku resisted the urge to facepalm.

"You would love the song, Sora," he said as the two walked through the doors to the main entryway of the Small World ride. Much to Sora's delight, the ride was completely empty save for a few cheery staff members.

"Wow," Riku said in genuine surprise, "we really did beat the crowds..."

"I told you no one else knew about my shortcuts," Sora said triumphantly as he led Riku down the ramp to the entrance to the boats. Sora continued to be pleased with himself as the two boarded their personal boat for the Small World ride. Riku tried not to wince outwardly as the boat pulled from the station.

"I can already hear the music!" Sora said gleefully.

"I know," Riku said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Sora narrowed his eyes slightly. "Riku, we are in the Happiest Place on Earth! Can't you at least pretend that this is fun?" He put on a cheesy, innocent grin. "For me?"

Seeing Sora's face, Riku couldn't help but smile. As the little boat passed out of the first room into the next, he wrapped his arm around Sora's shoulder. "I guess," he said, kissing him softly on the lips. He was surprised however, when Sora snaked an arm behind Riku's head, keeping him locked into a decidedly deeper kiss. Riku, never one to complain, moved both arms to rest on Sora's waist as the two pleasantly held each other on the ride, lips moving together in a familiar dance.

As Riku pulled away for air, he noticed something peculiar about the boat. "...Sora?" he asked, looking outside of the boat with renewed interest.

"Yeah?" he said, his attention fully devoted to Riku.

"Are we moving?"

Raising an eyebrow, Sora unraveled himself from Riku to look around the room. It appeared they were stuck at the edge of the room in a long line of boats. They were stuck at a curve in the ride, so they were unable to see if there were other people stuck behind them.

"I bet the rush of people finally arrived at the ride," Riku said dryly, unable to keep the song from penetrating his brain. The two remained stuck, waiting in the delayed line of empty boats waiting to be filled with people at the front of the ride. "I think I'm going to have this song stuck in my head the rest of the day..."

_It's a world of laughter, a world of tears_

_It's a world of hopes and a world of fears_

_There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware_

_It's a small world after all~!_

Sora winced as he looked over at Riku while the song repeated over and over. "...Still pretending to have fun?" he asked, tentatively placing a hand on Riku's thigh.

Getting an idea, Riku slowly turned towards Sora, a devilish grin growing on his face. "I know something that will make this my favorite ride," he murmured before he turned quickly in the boat, pushing Sora flat against the seat. Before Sora could protest, Riku secured both of Sora's wrists in one hand and captured his lips in a fiery kiss. Sora moaned as Riku's other hand wandered down his chest to slip underneath his shirt. Not to be outdone, Sora wrapped his legs around Riku's hips, pressing up against him. Startled, Riku's grip loosened enough so Sora could explore. He wrapped one hand in Riku's hair, and the other found it's way into the back pocket of Riku's shorts.

Caught up in the moment, Riku opened his lips as the two kissed passionately, tongues entwining together in a familiar rhythm. He continued his exploration up Sora's shirt, smirking against the brunette's lips when he tweaked his nipples, causing Sora to squeak in surprise. Sora decided to up the ante and moved his hand front Riku's back pocket to his deeper front pocket, reaching inward to tease Riku through his shorts.

Riku inhaled sharply, lost in the sensations Sora elicited from his more-than-willing body-

"R-Riku?" Sora asked, pulling away with a gasp as he tilted his head back to look at the ride from his upside-down vantage point. Abruptly, he pushed Riku off of him and started to fix his shirt. "Riku, _the ride's moving!_"

Riku abruptly came to his senses as the two neared the final tunnel of the ride, belatedly realizing that the two had been moving for quite a while. The two were able to adjust their clothing and right themselves just as the ride exited the final tunnel back into the queue area. Riku was afraid to look behind to see if the boat behind them was occupied. He tensed as he noticed the extra security waiting at the exit of the ride.

"Hey Sora?" Riku asked, gesturing to the extra employees. "Think they're here for us?"

Sora tried not to make a face as the two neared the front of the line of boats to exit the ride. "Probably."

"I'm sorry Sora," Riku said guiltily, "And the day had only just started-"

"It's alright Riku," Sora said comfortingly as he helped Riku exit the boat. "Who knows what they want?" He dropped his voice to whisper suggestively into Riku's ear, "Maybe they just want some pointers..."

-((End!))-

Hahaha oh man. In seriousness, don't ever do that; I feel like you would get in serious trouble or kicked out of the park. Did Sora and Riku? Who knows? Riku and Sora could make for some hot security camera action that induces instant forgiveness ;)

Please let me know what you thought of my spontaneous inspiration for this one!

R&R!

Last one: The Bike Rack!

_Riku was in shock. "So you mean you—"_

_"Want you more than a never-ending Christmas Town? You bet."_

~freaky-hanyou


	109. Carnival: Zemyx

Hello Everyone! I am so excited to write for you! ((Is in a super good mood today)) Lucky for you, my current job has loads of free time where I am literally required to sit at my desk and to whatever really, so expect a lot of new stories from me in the future! Yay!

But I figured that first I would update this one. Which, I'm hoping isn't too boring; I tried to make it a funny one.

But I'll let you be the judge of that right? ; )

**What If…**

_Zexion and Demyx went to a carnival?_

_((as suggested by the lovely Zemyx-loving Lokifangirl13))_

"Why are we doing this again," Zexion asked dryly as Demyx led him by the hand across a field filled with endless brightly lit games, rides, and food stalls.

"Because this is Twilight Town's first ever carnival!" Demyx replied enthusiastically, gripping Zexion's hand tighter as he began to walk faster, "And it's only here for this weekend!"

Zexion tried not to roll his eyes; all the brightly offensive lights and throngs of people were already giving him a headache. "Exactly. You know these rides can't be safe; if you really wanted to come, why couldn't you have just gone with Axel and Roxas? I'm_ positive_ they're somewhere in this crowd—"

Zexion let out a small 'oof!' as he ran straight into Demyx, who had stopped abruptly. Demyx turned to look over his shoulder at Zexion; although he didn't say anything outright, Zexion had been with Demyx long enough that he could see the slight hurt reflected in his eyes. Zexion opened his mouth to say that he didn't think spending time with him was stupid, he just thought the carnival was stupid, but Demyx cut him off.

"Don't be such a spoil sport," he said with an air of finality, ending the unspoken argument before it properly began. He then turned around and started to drag Zexion forward again.

Zexion let out a small sigh to himself. _Well, if Demyx loves it so much, maybe it's not that stupid,_ he thought. _He's dragged me on many adventures I didn't think I would enjoy at first…I might as well give this one a chance too._

Zexion sped up his pace to walk in step with Demyx. "So," he said quietly with a small smile, "What shall we do first?"

Demyx grinned widely. "Everything!"

-((Let the fun begin!))-

"I really don't think any of this actually qualifies as food," Zexion commented as the two walked past an array of food stalls. Each sported such an impressive array of food that if Zexion was alive, he guessed that said 'food' would have immediately put him in the hospital.

"Do you want some fried Kool-Aid?"

"Some _what_?" Zexion exclaimed, stopping abruptly at the stall to stare in morbid fascination as even the popular beverage was turned into a fried food. "…I think I'll pass on that one," he said, turning towards the other stalls.

"Let's start with splitting a too-sweet lemonade?" Demyx suggested with a grin.

Zexion let out an over exaggerated sigh. "If I must," he said, stepping in line for the aforementioned beverage.

"Just wait until we get some funnel cake," Demyx replied, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Demyx, there's no way I'll be able to stomach that sugary mush…"

-((:o))-

Two lemonades, three hot dogs, two funnel cakes, and one fried Kool-Aid later, the two headed away from the food stalls.

"I don't know why I let you eat that," Zexion said before abruptly stopping and gripping his stomach as it made an unpleasant lurch. "I don't know why I let _me_ eat that."

Demyx chuckled and quickly kissed Zexion on the cheek. "Well, I have been told I can be very persuasive," he said with a wink.

Zexion bit back the urge to pursue those soft lips further. "I could be persuaded to immediately return to my room?" he asked with a hopeful voice. You'd have to know him well enough to be able to see it, but there was a definite glint of lust in his aquamarine gaze.

Demyx giggled and pulled Zexion into motion. "Not yet, the fun's just starting!"

"I am continuously wary of your ever-expanding definition of the word fun."

Demyx smiled widely before stopping in front of the G-Force, a high speed ride that did nothing but cause you to spin in a fast, gravity-induced circle midair. "You never know until you give it a try, right?"

Zexion's own thoughts brought him to the same conclusion earlier; therefore, he tried his best to ignore the foreboding backflip performed by his stomach. "…I guess," he said as the two stepped into line.

-((One ride later))-

"I can safely say that _that_ was not fun," Zexion said as he collapsed onto a bench, trying valiantly to keep all the food he ate earlier securely in his stomach.

"I'm sorry Zexion," Demyx said, sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "I didn't think about the possibility that you might get sick—"

At the words 'get sick,' Zexion turned an unmistakably pale shade of green.

"Can I get you anything?" Demyx asked, wanting to help, "I'm sorry. Let's just go home, and you can lay down—"

Zexion shook his head before immediately regretting it. "I'll be fine; it's alright," Zexion said with a wan smile. "Let's just do something that doesn't involve spinning, going upside down, or generally leaving the ground, okay?"

Demyx smiled tenderly, bringing his other hand up to brush the hair out of Zexion's eyes. "Okay," he said softly before he leapt to his feet. "Let's play some games!"

-((Yeah!))-

"I probably shouldn't say this, but you do realize that these games are all designed to take your m-"

"_Let's play that one!_" Demyx exclaimed enthusiastically, pointing at a ring toss game where the prize for winning was a giant blue teddy bear.

"Demyx," Zexion said, turning him away from that game, "Let's just go find something else to do; these games are all fixed, and the prizes aren't worth the-" he stopped for a moment, eyes caught by an elaborate framed calligraphy being advertised as a prize in the game stall across from him.

Before he could recover and pretend nothing happened, Demyx noticed what he was staring at. "I will win that for you," he said with determination as he stepped up to the dart-throwing game.

"No, Demyx, don't, let's go—" Zexion said, but Demyx ignored him completely.

"Pop three balloons, win a prize," the attendant said with almost no enthusiasm as the two stepped up to the game. "Care to show your skill?" he asked, already stretching out his hand to take the munny.

Demyx handed over some munny and was given four darts to throw at the wall of balloons in front of him. After taking careful aim, Demyx threw a dart straight at a balloon. Nothing happened, and the dart fell harmlessly to the floor.

"Not a good first try, man," the attendant said discouragingly as Demyx made a sound of outrage.

"I hit that balloon straight on!" he protested, looking as if he wanted to climb into the game and pop the balloon himself.

"Hey," the attendant said sharply, "these are balloons, not steel balls. You obviously missed, so try again," he said, stepping away to clear the path.

_Ass,_ thought Demyx as the next dart popped a balloon easily. With a wry grin, he immediately threw the next dart, which bounced off of a balloon before landing harmlessly on the floor.

"Hey!" Demyx exclaimed, "That one bounced _off_ a balloon! It should have popped-!"

"Sorry dude," the attendant said, taking the last dart from Demyx's lax fingers, "Maybe next time." He stepped away from them, ignoring Demyx's protests.

"What a dick," Demyx said, huffing as he turned to leave the game.

"I agree," Zexion murmured, remaining in place as his blue eyes shined with a steely glint. "Excuse me, Mr. Game Fixer," he said loudly, "I'm interested in beating you at your own game."

Said attendant returned, glaring. "Excuse me?"

Zexion's expression remained carefully blank. "I said, I'm interested in beating your game," he said, holding out his munny.

Distracted by the munny, the attendant forgot hit complaint and gave Zexion his darts. In short order, Zexion popped three balloons in a row and set the last dart on the table. He raised an eyebrow at the speechless attendant, satisfaction glittering in his eyes.

"Well?"

The attendant sputtered. "Congratulations! What prize would you like?"

-((Yay!))-

"Wow Zexion, I had no idea you were so good at carnival games!" Demyx exclaimed as he walked besides the victorious Nobody.

"I'm not," he said, glancing behind him for any suspect activity as they walked to a different aisle of games. "That was all an illusion."

Demyx gasped. "Zexion-!"

"I know, I know," Zexion said, cutting him off, "but that game was so rigged! And that guy was such an asshole about it…I couldn't let him treat you that way," he trailed off, blushing slightly.

Demyx smiled and laced his hand through Zexion's. "I know, and I am grateful," he said, giving his hand a squeeze. "I was actually going to ask if you could win me a prize?" he said with a grin.

"…Just one," Zexion allowed. Demyx let out a happy squeal.

-((shenanigans))-

"And what, exactly, are you going to do with that?" Zexion asked as Demyx hugged a giant purple bunny to himself.

"I have no idea," Demyx admitted, "but it's just so cute! I think I'll name it Zexion," he said, kissing it on the top of its head.

"Why settle for an imitation when you can have the real thing?" Zexion said blushingly.

"Zexion!" Demyx said, blushing slightly himself at Zexion's uncharacteristic forwardness, "That's so…"

"I know," Zexion said, almost chiding himself, "I think I've been spending too much time with Axel."

"No no," Demyx said, stopping with Zexion next to the end of a row of game stalls. "That's so…" he leaned forward to whisper in Zexion's ear. "_Hot_."

Zexion's blush only grew worse. "Can we go home now?" Zexion said, voice cracking slightly.

Demyx's eyes suddenly focused on something over Zexion's shoulder. "Can I convince you to go on one more ride first?"

"That depends; will it cause me to be physically ill?"

Demyx laughed and took Zexion's hand. "Definitely not. Come on!"

-((!))-

"Really, Demyx?" Zexion said, unable to restrain himself any longer, "The Tunnel of Love?" The two were piled with their prizes into a small white boat that floated down the water in the tranquil darkness. Soft music was playing as the two passed extravagant displays created with twinkling lights.

"What's the point of this really," Zexion continued as Demyx turned away from the lights to look at him. "It's just a bunch of dark tunnels with some old Christmas lights and-!"

Zexion's protests died immediately as Demyx abruptly reached forward and pushed the back of Zexion's head towards his, kissing him firmly on the lips.

"Don't be such a spoil sport," Demyx murmured before closing his lips over Zexion's again. Zexion moaned in appreciation before wrapping his hands around Demyx's waist, trying to pull him closer in the little boat. That done, he slid one hand down Demyx's side to rest on his thigh, while the other slid up to grip his shoulder blades.

Demyx's hand wrapped more securely in Zexion's hair as he angled his lips over Zexion's, granting him better access and mobility. His other hand absently stroked the base of Zexion's neck, slowly loosening his jacket.

"Demyx…" Zexion said warningly as the two pulled back to breathe for a moment. Zexion abruptly swiveled Demyx in the boat, pinning him underneath him on the little bench. He placed sharp nips and kisses down Demyx's jawline before nibbling on the lobe of his ear. Demyx gasped softly.

"Now can we go home?" Zexion murmured huskily as he traced the outer shell of Demyx's ear with his tongue.

"Now?" Demyx asked, voice cracking. "But, we're in the middle of—"

"A dark ride with no one watching us, and no one to notice if we suddenly disappear?"

Demyx grinned widely, smile slowly turning sensual as he stared up at the Cloaked Schemer. "Let's go."

A few minutes later, a confused ride operator stared at the little boat, wondering why someone would have sent an empty one through the ride.

-((Meanwhile))-

"I'm telling you, Rox," Axel said as the two waited by the Tunnel of Love's exit, "I _saw_ Demyx and Zexion go in there!"

"Well, it's been over ten minutes," Roxas said, looking at his watch, "You must have been mistaken." He took Axel's hand as the two started to walk away. "And besides, I seriously doubt that Zexion would have a good time at a carnival."

"I suppose you're right," Axel said, abruptly pulling Roxas into a dark shadow made by the back of a food stall, "But that doesn't mean that _we_ can't have a good time at a carnival…" he said, leaning down to place hot open-mouthed kisses on Roxas' neck.

"Axel!"

-((The End!))-

Heeehee! I don't know what it is lately with people making out on rides, but hey. Why not! I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think; I live for reviews!

R&R!

~freaky-hanyou

Last One: The Box! ((I enjoy that one))

"_Oh quit being such a downer, Axel, that's my job," Roxas said, winking._


End file.
